Pass the test if we are suitable for each other. - This man brought me to the upper world. You have mutual trust
Start off life together never easy. It takes a long time to weigh the pros and cons, to look closely at the person. From the first days of our acquaintance, a number of questions arise, how to understand whether we are suitable for each other, and the accommodation will be somewhat comfortable for both. After all, it is known that perfect compatibility can not be. Friction and controversial situations can always arise. You should not rely only on feelings and intuition to resolve this issue.
Your observation can still become your helpers. Observe your object of passion, and you can draw a number of conclusions and more closely understand it and evaluate its positive and negative sides... Let's highlight a number of signs that will help you to look closely at your friend.
Important signs of compatibility
How much respect you show for each other. A person practically suits you 60 percent if he shows respect, and you pay him the same.
Respect is shown in the fact that your chosen one is ready to compromise, listens carefully when you share your problems and feelings.
Be attentive to you and immediately notices if something goes wrong. Appreciates your opinion and your environment. I sincerely rejoice at the successes you have achieved. In the absence of one of the components listed above, respect and understanding of each other failed in your relationship.
He has the qualities you need. Probably, in your dreams, you have more than once imagined what qualities your chosen one will be endowed with. Now try to analyze if your friend has them.
It is best to identify a number of the most important ones, maybe 3 to five. It is important that you have the same life values, this is an indicator that you are suitable for each other. How exactly do you see your future, what goals do you plan to achieve together. What is considered vital and necessary for you.
It is important that he has these values. Even if they do not match, it's okay. You can stick to your sense of intuition a little, but you can't completely rely on it.
If you have a feeling of certainty that this is your man, then this is often the case. But do not rely on this one hundred percent, as it is also all relative. He does not try to remake you, he perceives you for who you really are.
After analyzing each of these points, you will understand the question of whether we are suitable for each other. And having collected positive answers, you will be able to draw conclusions about how you will continue to live.
How Problems Help Determine If You Are Right for Each Other
Difficulties may arise in different periods relationship as on early stages, and already experienced married couples... And then these frictions make young people think whether they are suitable for each other, whether it is worth continuing the relationship. It is important to find out about each other's compatibility from the very beginning of the relationship, so as not to hurt each other.
Of course, it is important to say that each partner should not hush up his worries, it is necessary to start a conversation with your half, find out how she feels.
Before taking serious steps, you need to understand and understand whether we are suitable for each other, calm down, not make hasty conclusions. You may even need the help of a psychologist.
An experienced specialist will open your eyes, advise you to look at your personal life with completely different eyes. Feel free to talk about your most secret feelings, emotions that overwhelm your body.
Perhaps it is by speaking out that you will find the harmony and understanding that we all need so much.
If even after quarrels you feel a desire to hug your loved one, to make peace as soon as possible, then do so, maybe it is from you that they are waiting for so long;
You always feel that you will be supported, understood, in spite of everything, then next to you is truly your destiny and a true friend... Don't lose it;
Parting forever seems to be something from the realm of fantasy, even with the heat of passions, you cannot erase this person from your life.
All these facts only confirm that you fit together and love your partner. Remember, all difficulties with time will pass and will come white stripe in your relationship.
When to worry
Remember, if they do not want to appear with you in public, if your meetings do not bring any satisfaction and pleasure to both partners, beware, perhaps this is the beginning of the end of your relationship, you are probably not suitable for each other;
If your other half is rude to you, especially in the presence of others, this may indicate not only bad manners, but also be a sign of insincerity of feelings towards you. Such a relationship should be ended;
Do you understand that even sex life has ceased to exist, or does not bring joy, you should seriously think about your joint future.
In any case, do not rush to make harsh and rash decisions, everything can still improve and your relationship will bloom in a new way.
It takes time to realize that you and your boyfriend are made for each other, but who wants to waste their lives on a useless relationship? If it was easy to determine which partner you need, people would not have come up with so many compatibility tests. We've rounded up some popular ways to define the perspective of your relationship. There are literary, mathematical, rational methods here, and there are also occult ones.
1. Test by Anna Akhmatova
Anna Andreevna was a resolute, categorical person and clearly divided people into two incompatible categories. According to legend, she checked all her friends and acquaintances. simple test... You need to choose one set of preferences: 1) tea, dog, Parsnip; 2) coffee, cat, Mandelstam.
The first option is chosen by people who are reliable and confident in their decisions. They are not prone to mood swings, optimistic and businesslike.
Coffee, a cat, Mandelstam - the choice of an emotional, indecisive pessimist who often succumbs to depression and may neglect moral principles.
If you think that it will be difficult for you to explain to the guy who Pasternak and Mandelstam are, try to offer him another choice: Elzdey or Yegor Letov. Just in case, you can clarify whether Tsoi is alive.
2. Numerology
Numerology suggests checking compatibility different ways... The most popular is to compare the dates of birth using the ancient numerological system Pythagoras Square, also called the psychomatrix. Yes, it turns out that this Greek left us not only pants that are equal in all directions, but also the opportunity to find out the prospect of any union.
In addition, you can analyze compatibility by the numbers of fate, that is, by your names. This test determines if you and your partner have a common destiny. For better result both methods are recommended.
All of these tests can be taken online, even if you had a C in math.
3. Psychological test
This type of check is more respected than the previous ones. In January 2018, the deputy of the Legislative Assembly of the Leningrad Region Vladimir Petrov even sent a proposal to the Ministry of Health to test each couple for compatibility before getting married. So he hoped to reduce the number. True, psychologists criticized such an initiative, because after a couple of years after the wedding, the test results will not be relevant, since we all change throughout life.
Decide to marry based on psychological analysis maybe not worth it, but to get to know each other better and assess the prospects, such a test will help. It does not have to be a compatibility test; a questionnaire for in-depth analysis of personality, for example, the Cattell Multi-Factor Personality Questionnaire, is also suitable. When both of you know better all aspects of your personality and your partner, you will be able to draw conclusions about your relationship for yourself.
4. Test for energy-physiological compatibility
This test, developed by Viktor Boyko, Doctor of Psychology, will help you assess how comfortable you and your boyfriend will be in living together. It is based on comparing the habits, temperaments and characteristics of the partners' bodies. The questions are very specific: are your sleep-wake cycles, food preferences, moods the same.
Such a test will help you find out in advance what difficulties you may have and prevent many everyday problems.
5. Horoscope
Good old fashioned astrology may be a controversial method, but perhaps the most popular. You don't need to subscribe to the Oracle magazine or carry money to the participant in the Battle of Psychics - you download the Horoscope application and get a personal astrologer in your smartphone.
The program will make a forecast for any sign of the zodiac, reveal your compatibility with your partner in percentage terms, make your personal love horoscope and even reads by hand with the help of a special scanner.
Real astrologers of different orientations cooperate with the application, so you can ask them personal question in online mode.
In addition to the usual horoscope, the program has several other ancient calendars: Chinese - here predictions for all signs are published daily, the Mayan horoscope - for this people every day meant something, and the Druidic horoscope, it is also called Gaulish or Celtic.
How do you feel about compatibility tests?
The question is: "are we suitable for each other?" surely every pair of lovers asked themselves. Without going into details astrological analysis, we can offer you one of the simplest, but enough informative way determining your compatibility. Rather, it will not be about how compatible you are, but what type of relationship is typical for a couple like you, what areas of life are common for you, and in which of them you are able to achieve maximum mutual understanding.
To do this, you need to determine what the zodiac sign of your partner is from your zodiac sign. In this case, your sign must be considered as the first. Recall that the signs of the Zodiac are arranged in the following sequence: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, after which they repeat again.
Consider the definition of the type of relationship on specific example... Let's say you were born under the sign of Leo and your partner is Scorpio. We start counting from ourselves. In this case: Leo - 1; Virgo - 2; Libra - 3; Scorpio - 4. We find this figure below and read the recommendations.
You can also look at your mate from the other side by determining how your partner perceives you. To do this, let's make the same countdown, but from the partner's sign. In our example, it will look like this: Scorpio –1; Sagittarius - 2; Capricorn - 3; Aquarius - 4; Pisces - 5; Aries - 6; Taurus - 7; Gemini - 8; Cancer - 9; Leo - 10.
In the event that you belong to the same zodiac sign, read the description of your relationship at number 1.
For each compatibility type, we provide a key phrase to help you better understand what your relationship is based on.
1 - This person is a reflection of myself.
You are too much alike. In the first minutes of acquaintance, you can feel an amazing understanding. You will have the same tastes, opinions, and actions. But when you are together, your strengths and weaknesses appear twice as bright. The difficulty with your connection may lie in the fact that your partner has the same shortcomings as you, although this also allows you to better understand the motives of some of his actions. Also, such people do not know how to look at each other critically and point out the mistakes they make.
Usually astrologers advise in case of the same signs not to spend too much time together. V family union such a connection can only pass if both partners have a lot of endurance and patience. Most of all, a pair of identical signs suits the option of a "visiting" marriage, when partners each live their own lives and meet only occasionally (spend vacations together, travel, render each other help needed). Business cooperation and work of such a couple is also good if not too regular.
2 - I have no material problems with this person.
From the outside, it may seem that your relationship is built on calculation and you are seduced by the welfare of your partner. In fact, you can be much more attracted by his attitude to material values, housekeeping, economy, efficiency, as well as the ability to solve property and money problems. The person represented for you by the second sign is able to provide you with significant assistance in all areas of life. He will take over many of your affairs and help you to complete them. Relationships with him are stable and eventually turn into strong family relationships. But in no case should you deceive his trust, as well as command or put pressure on him. You may also be overly jealous of your partner. After several years of living together, such a couple forms a strong habit of each other, and even if a crack is outlined in their union, it will be very difficult for them to break off their relationship right away.
3 - You can finally talk to this person.
A good combination for co-creation, friendship, fun and love. Such people most often have known each other for a long time. They either live in the neighborhood or studied together. They can also meet while visiting their mutual acquaintances, by chance on the street or through an advertisement in the newspaper. From the very first minutes, you can begin to communicate easily and in this you find common interests for yourself. Communication with a partner presented to you by the third sign is the basis of your subsequent relationship. In alliance with him, you can smooth out some of your shortcomings, and your dignity will increase. But do not strive always and in everything to be the first, your union is a union of equals. However, such connections are usually light, not particularly binding. They are better suited for lovers than for marriage partners who share a common relationship. everyday problems... However, if your marriage still doesn't work out, you are still good friends.
4 – Dearer than man I have never met. We are very good together.
To the partner, represented for you by the fourth sign, you can feel tenderness and the warmest feelings from the first minutes of acquaintance. It is to him that you are more inclined to complain about problems than others, since you intuitively feel that he is inclined to pity you, to worry with you, to show you participation and care. Sometimes in it you can see the traits that are inherent in your parents. It is also interesting that in the case of this type of compatibility between partners, there is often a significant difference in age.
Often the relationship of such a couple begins with compassion, when one cries to another in the vest. This phase of theirs is often delayed and partners, despite the fact that they have known each other for a long time, nevertheless do not dare to formalize relations. The marriage of such a couple is stable and long-lasting. Tender feelings in such an alliance, they do not weaken over the years, and even vice versa - they become stronger. The only thing that can break your bond is your partner's overly capricious behavior.
5 - How I love him! In spite of everything and in spite of everything!
By the fifth sign, counting from your own, in most cases there is a bright and romantic connection. Such people are more likely eternal lovers than spouses, good acquaintances or business partners... In a person five from your sign, you always find an inexhaustible source of pleasure and love. It is pleasant to spend time with him, to have fun and relax, and sex with such a person is pure magic. You can get acquainted at a disco, in a movie or at a festive noisy party with mutual acquaintances. Mutual language you can find in areas such as art and creative expression. After a short “meet” phase, your relationship smoothly and imperceptibly turns into a “live together” phase. Moreover, with formalization marriage, you may not rush at all. Sometimes it happens that the romance of such a couple develops as if according to the script of a Brazilian TV series: with feigned passions, scenes of jealousy, betrayal and forgiveness.
The family union of such a couple is most often good only in the early years. Over time, the partner may get used to you and he will be tempted to diversify his love life... A stable marriage is possible here only if you manage not to suppress the freedom and independence of your partner and do not demand that he devote himself to you without a trace.
6 - Connects me with this person mutual feeling debt.
In this case, in order for the relationship to be long and lasting, you should show maximum tact and courtesy. A vivid, romantic connection rarely takes place here. Your partner may have a sober outlook on life and not prone to sentimentality. Perhaps he was already married and is now cautious. His feelings cannot be called warm, rather he is even somewhat calculating. The basis of your connection can be, as indicated in the key phrase - a mutual sense of duty. At some stage in the relationship, you will understand that now, as decent people, you simply have to get married. With your partner, if he is represented by the sixth sign for you, you can get to know at work or in a medical institution.
In principle, this kind of compatibility is good not so much for love and family life as for business cooperation. This is very good couple in terms of: boss - subordinate.
7 - We are so different, but this person is for me best partner in all areas of life.
V this case paired opposite zodiac signs... You and your partner are two sides of the same coin. His behavior shows the traits that you have. At the same time, he has qualities that are completely absent from you, and it is with this that you complement each other. Long-term relationships and marriage are only possible if you are both tolerant and not aspiring to lead. It should be remembered that your partner tends to come to terms with a lot, but only if you present it to him unobtrusively and harmoniously. The slightest pressure from your side frequent quarrels and scandals will induce your partner to look for a more comfortable life partner.
Strong families with this combination add up to more late age... Usually, opposite signs manage to successfully cooperate in the field of business and general work.
8 - We are irresistibly attracted to each other.
At the first meeting, a strong attraction may arise between you, at the level of unconscious passion and sexual intercourse will be established in the very near future. It turns out that you have a very good sexual compatibility... But, as often happens, this alone binds you. In other areas of life, you may have little rapport. Because of this, you constantly have to adapt to each other and all your problems will repeat as if in a circle, over and over again. For people who do not tolerate uniformity and perceive tension in interpersonal relationships as the norm, such a connection is quite acceptable. In this case, sex can be a certain valve for the release of the accumulated tension. After the act of love, such a couple calms down for a while, their irritability towards each other decreases and the relationship is harmonized. And so on until next time.
For a lasting union, you need a healthy sense of humor and a certain indulgence in your partner's harsh words. Otherwise, you will soon feel that you cannot see him anymore. Unfortunately, it is this pair that is more likely than others to part as enemies.
9 - This person expanded my understanding of the world, I can listen to him for hours.
Lovely friendly contact. Joint classes, conversations, reflections, walks, travel - the best areas of your interaction. Vivid love can arise, but lasting connection is possible if you feel the need for a person who will constantly guide and guide you. Your relationship may start with some unusual phrase of his that will interest you very much. Having talked with such a person, you will understand that the world around you is not at all the same as you imagined it until now. Going forward, communicating with a partner nine from your mark will greatly fuel your connection. In addition, you can pay attention to such a person because of his unusual appearance or demeanor. Quite often, he may turn out to be a foreigner, a visitor from afar, or a representative of a different nationality.
A stable marriage can only be achieved here if there is good material support... If your partner, being an unrecognized genius philosopher, is not able to provide the everyday side of life, your relationship with him may remain at the level of friendly, but not family.
10 - This man brought me to elite.
This sign is for you good helper and can even help you decide in life, as he looks at everything soberly and very rationally. The priority for such a person is social life, social position and respect of others. For business partnerships, this is one of the best options... Truth in all joint affairs it requires high responsibility, great precision and accuracy. Relationships with him are rarely tender, bright and romantic, as he is very restrained and careful. His location and trust will have to be sought for a long time. There is almost no courtship period in this kind of relationship. Your partner, when he considers that he has already taken place in life, will try to quietly translate your cooperation into a relationship of a closer plan. A marriage with him promises to be stable, and family life is calm and well-off financially.
11 - Thanks to this man, my unrealizable dreams have come true.
First of all, people who are eleven zodiac signs away from you are reliable friends. They are always ready to support you and open up new perspectives for you. Often, you yourself cannot say what kind of relationship has been established between you - love or friendship, since such partners do not share these concepts. The relationship with such a person is distinguished by independence, freedom of morals, originality and democracy. There can be no question of any jealousy. For these reasons, such a partner often lives in civil marriage... Before formalizing your relationship, consider whether you have the patience to endure his hectic and ever-changing lifestyle, and whether you can turn a blind eye to a very unusual relationship with his many friends and girlfriends. Any manifestations of jealousy on your part and the desire to impose your lifestyle on such a marriage very quickly destroy. They will simply stop living with you, although you will still remain friends and can always count on his help.
12 - More than anything, I would like to stay with this man on a desert island.
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In a loving relationship with such a person, you tend to lose your head and often wishful thinking. On your part, sacrifice is possible here, refusal for the sake of a loved one from many things with which he is not compatible, too idealistic attitude towards him and a deliberate limitation of your connection from outside world... And in all this, you tend to find a certain pleasure. But his fantasy world and avoiding the problems of reality negatively affect your life together. The domestic side of such a marriage is also very weak. Also, your partner is highly susceptible to negative impact from the outside. Most often, such unions last for a short time, and then break up (sometimes completely unknown reasons). It also happens that by his way of life the partner, represented for you by the twelfth sign, limits you in many ways.
Date of birth compatibility will allow you to find out the future in a couple. Sometimes, especially on initial stages relationships, it can be difficult to understand whether the person is nearby, how it will turn out future life and what to expect in marriage. All of these questions can be answered with simple calculations.
First, take your date of birth and add up all the numbers that make up it. Bring the resulting number, again, by adding its components to a single-digit one. Example: 09/25/1979 = 2 + 5 + 0 + 9 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 9 = 35 = 3 + 5 = 7. The number 7 is the birth code in the given example. When you calculate your birth code, you need to find out the birth number of your soulmate using the same method. As a result, you get two numbers: his and yours. You can find out compatibility by date of birth using the transcript below. In the list of pairs of numbers, you need to find the numbers of your pair and find out what is intended.
1 and 1 - you are two leaders, one of you will have to give up the palm in a relationship, otherwise the couple will have constant conflicts.
1 and 2 - your partner will fight for his dominant position in the pair. Give in to him - everything will be fine.
1 and 3 - in this case, friendly compatibility is more successful than love.
1 and 4 - the union is unsuccessful for love relationship, it is more suitable for business cooperation.
1 and 5 - the relationship will be full of feelings and passion, but in the future you will live as if on a powder keg. Unstable communication.
1 and 6 - successful love compatibility. There will be feelings, understanding and trust.
1 and 7 - almost 100% compatibility. You have common goals and outlook on life.
1 and 8 - the union is quite harmonious, but you should not demand more from each other than you can give.
1 and 9 are a very lucky pair. You are like soul mates.
2 and 2 - for love, the union is unsuccessful, only for friendship.
2 and 3 - harmonious relationship... The union is very successful for marriage, the establishment of a joint life and the birth of children.
2 and 4 - a good future awaits the couple if the lovers learn to find compromises.
2 and 5 - in this pair, people are connected by sexual attraction and passion. For marriage and family, such a balance of characters will not work.
2 and 6 - stability, love, loyalty and understanding. Perfect union.
2 and 7 - friendship - yes, love - no.
2 and 8 - a strong union, in which both will stand up for each other.
2 and 9 - unsuccessful love compatibility. In this pair, only friendly communication is possible, nothing more.
3 and 3 - "husband and wife - one Satan" - refers specifically to this pair. They are always together, they do not get tired of each other's company. Over time, they become very similar to each other.
3 and 4 are opposite characters. In spite of different views for life, people with such numerology will still be able to create a strong and happy union.
3 and 5 - in this pair, lovers are good together. They will strive for a common goal and go hand in hand throughout their lives.
3 and 6 - harmonious and happy couple... Compatibility in love is very successful.
3 and 7 - poor compatibility. Both love to dream and fantasize, and when it comes to actions, no one wants to take responsibility.
3 and 8 are a hard pair. One will strive for freedom, while the other will demand obedience and put pressure on his partner.
3 and 9 - great compatibility! Common goals and principles can become the key to a strong and happy life.
4 and 4 - stable relationship, but compatibility is not entirely successful. In this pair, there will be a deficit of feelings.
4 and 5 - people in this pair are incompatible. One strives for constant movement and change, while the other wants stability and measured life.
4 and 6 - happiness and harmony in a couple are guaranteed.
4 and 7 - compatibility is quite successful, both will complement each other.
4 and 8 - the union will be successful only if there is no struggle for leadership.
4 and 9 - the first stage of the relationship for this couple is very difficult. But if the lovers survive it and stay together, they will have a long and happy life.
5 and 5 are bad compatibility. Relationships won't last long.
5 and 6 - the union is quite possible, but in order to achieve harmony, it will take effort.
5 and 7 - common interests unite this pair. Quite successful compatibility in love.
5 and 8 - incompatibility in characters will not allow you to create a strong relationship.
5 and 9 - spiritually, this pair is compatible, but as for everyday life and cohabitation- little chance.
6 and 6 are too similar friend on the other people. This will cause disagreement and quarrels.
6 and 7 are the union of heart and mind. Compatibility is unlikely.
6 and 8 - people in this pair have different life priorities. One appreciates everything material, and the other - spiritual.
6 and 9 - the compatibility of such a pair is 50%. Everything will depend on their efforts and desire to be with each other.
7 and 7 - in this union there will not be enough frankness and trust in each other, but otherwise everything is fine.
7 and 8 - a short-lived union. One thinks about career and money, the other about family and children.
7 and 9 - this pair can only be destroyed by one thing - everyday life.
8 and 8 - compatibility is quite successful, but problems still cannot be avoided.
8 and 9 - an unsuccessful union. The people in this pair will have different outlooks on life and goals.
9 and 9 are the perfect match. Happiness, harmony and love on long years provided.
This computation of love compatibility will help you find out if you are the right fit for each other and how successful your relationship is. If the pair turns out to be incompatible, do not despair either! The main thing is mutual love, support and respect. And the rest will come with time. And so that the feelings in your couple never fade away, click on or
The young man asked the sage if he should marry this girl. “No,” the wise old man answered decisively. - But she is beautiful, I love her? - the guy was surprised. - They marry when they have no doubts ... Are we suitable for each other, can we live together, be happy married couple? Or everything will end, like many: conflicts, strife, divorce ... Doesn't every person think about this on the verge of starting a family? Especially if you have already burned yourself sometime. "Everything happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy is unhappy in its own way ", - this is how the great Tolstoy began his novel Anna Karenina. I think that we are also unhappy from the same thing. All people are the same. They want to be happy, loved. They want to be appreciated and understood, and they get lost when feelings disappear somewhere and conflicts interfere with life.
It would be great to learn to understand another person perfectly. Decipher his secret and explicit signals, motives, actions, so that communication is non-conflicting, but joyful and fruitful.
Does everyday life jam?
- Why did he at first seem to you such a sweet, wonderful, gentle and affectionate boy, and then became an unbearable grump, stingy, lazy donkey or something else worse?
- Why did you seem charming and feminine to him, and then began to cause ill-concealed irritation, hostility, contempt and indifference?
What happened? After all, they did not replace you in fact. You are still the same, he, too, has changed little outwardly. But the situation has changed ...
You no longer need to try to hold it, it is already yours. And he does not need to win your favor - this fortress, having long failed to withstand the siege, surrendered. You no longer "hunt" for each other, you no longer need to play this game. He caught his goldfish and you've lassoed an unbroken mustang. Everything! The charm of the chase passed and a life began, where no one has to prove anything to anyone else, no one conquers anyone, but simply lives and gradually relaxes, exposing his true face, which until then was carefully hidden under the "hunting mask".
Now those snares and traps that you set for each other in the premarital period are already badly working. You need to come up with new ones, and you, out of habit, take out old rusty weapons. But it doesn’t shoot, or it shoots, but everything is somehow by. All this, of course, is a joke, but there is some truth in every joke!
Was it all a lie, just a ploy to get me (beloved, beloved) into your net? But what about ice cream and flowers? But what about love sms and expensive gifts? Significant glances and tender words? What about that shiny herringbone tie and parker at a fabulous price, which with such love was chosen in the store for a loved one? Where has the charm of all these cute little things evaporated, which were once no less than the meaning of your whole life?
Yes, they have not gone anywhere! It's just that everything has changed ... just
One game ended and another began
the rules of which you have yet to comprehend. This period for many is not just addictive, but a real discovery and complete revelation. It's good if the discoveries do not shock you too much with their naked spontaneity. It is worse when you are completely unprepared for this or expected something completely different.
So, so that it is not “worse”, I advise you not to expect anything and not invent, and even before you come across these “revelations” try to predict them, or rather, to simulate those life situations, in which you will inevitably find yourself if you live alone, sleep in the same bed, wash in the same bathroom, etc. etc.
Someone very wisely resorts to the method of "free marriage" in order to test their feelings and not be at the bottom of the trough. honeymoon... If you can't live together, then at least you just need to look at each other.
It is very useful to see your soul mate in ordinary life, in the usual everyday environment, for everyday affairs. Put aside false shame and your own reluctance to go into details and study your partner.
You still play “positive” roles in front of each other to some extent, your feelings have not cooled down, your eyes are closed on many things and attention is not paid ... ”.
As experience shows, it will not change, rather, on the contrary, it will become even more aggravated if there is something to exacerbate.
For example, you should think about if he:
-never washes his hands before eating, forgets to brush his teeth and wash ... (This is a sad example, and in our time it is almost nonsense. But this happens quite often. Most likely, your spouse's slovenliness will annoy you and can lead to sexual and psychological disharmony in your relationship, especially if you are clean);
- does not say "thank you", "please", is not familiar with polite expressions of speech (it is extremely difficult to live with a rude and uncouth person, unless you yourself like these features of a savage);
- does not know how to do practically anything with his own hands (No comments);
- likes to criticize and discuss others (there is a very high probability that one day you will also come under fire from his criticism);
- too attached to his mother, listens to everyone, even her insignificant advice , cannot take a step, so as not to inform her about the direction of his movement (eternal rivalry with your mother-in-law for the palm is guaranteed to you);
- concerned exclusively with himself, his own mood, health , with a small pimple on the buttock, whiteness of teeth or a condition of baldness, constantly talks about his real and imaginary illnesses, suffering, doubts (this is a typical egoist if you need a helpless child, and you agree to be a nanny and a nurse by the bed of a "seriously ill" simulator - a passing you wind!).
There are many more such “but”. And each has its own undercurrents. It is necessary to study which, because, if the forvayer is unknown, the ship runs the risk of stumbling into reefs and shoals in an unknown sea, and a wreck is inevitable!
With this person you will have to sail in the same boat all your life. Not just to meet and "festively" communicate, but to see him every day without makeup and unnecessary undertakings. Do you like his real face?
Small strokes to the portrait, made up of the smallest details that appear in some common cause can reveal more to you than going to the movies, nightclubs and languid walks under the moon.
Try to “do something together” more often. .
Typically in joint activities best shown psychological compatibility partners. When people fit together, they complement the missing facets of their personality and become one.
Each takes on what the opposing side does worst. And he does it not with contemptuous indulgence, but simply, silently, for granted. But from you, in turn, he expects that some side of the issue, which you manage to solve better, you take into your own hands. How can you guess what to take on? It's very simple! Do what you do best, what gives you more pleasure.
For example, you decide to paste the wallpaper. Some of you have the best spatial representation and someone is good artistic taste(that is, one decides on the color, texture, aesthetic design, the other calculates how best to arrange, cut, glue). Someone is better at performing mechanical, streamlined operations, while others are more creative.
To determine if you are complementary or antagonistic, it is not worth playing giveaway. You should not portray what is not typical for you. Even with the best of intentions. Don't take on a role that you don't do well. This will not lead to anything good. Maybe for some time you will be able to play the part of the leader with an introverted (self-absorbed) partner. But if you yourself are not used to taking the initiative in your hands and you prefer to fulfill someone already conceived, then such a role will very soon tire you, dissatisfaction with yourself and unjustified expectations of adequate actions by the other side will accumulate until they turn into some kind of unpleasant situation.
Irreconcilable psychological inconsistencies are rare. More often than not, people unconsciously strive for their complements. However, full complement is quite rare. it real luck is to meet exactly your half. But even if it is "a quarter" or "third", it is also very good.
In any case, we will have to grind and adapt to each other. We must be ready for this and not take it as a surprise. This is inevitable, because all people are different.
If you find it difficult to figure out exactly who you need for a happy family life, I advise you to start by studying your own person. What am I? What character traits prevail in me? What do I love and what do I absolutely hate? What am I striving for? And most importantly, what do I expect from my betrothed?
At first glance, these questions seem unnecessary. We often think that the most important thing is love, warm feelings that arise between us. If they are, this is almost a panacea for all problems and troubles.... We would like to think so. And we dream of some kind of unrealizable love that will resolve all our contradictions, external and internal, and so radically change our life that absolutely no effort will be needed to make it happy. But life is more complex and multifaceted than our ideas about it. Highly often our unrealizable dreams and expectations are so poisonous family life that we cannot objectively judge the causes of our problems and are inclined to blame our partner for everything. Whereas the main reason for our troubles is in ourselves. In our views, thoughts, expectations ...
For example, the ideas about the family that developed in childhood, based on the example own parents, weigh on us all our lives. Of course, we will expect from our companion such reactions and actions to which we are accustomed to in our family ... And he, in turn, will be held captive by his expectations. And it is not a fact that these expectations will coincide. Most likely no. And that's okay! It is natural. A mature person will not rebel against the fact that his spouse is used to eating at night or likes to lie in a warm bath for hours. It is foolish, in fact, to try to remake another person. What, in fact, do you have the right to do this? It is better to study all these features in advance and decide what will be an irreconcilable stumbling block for you. And agree on everything in advance.
Order in his family
Do you fit together
Advise also take a close look at the family of your chosen one. The origins of all our habits, character traits, behavioral reactions lie here. Observe your future father-in-law: how he treats his wife, how she communicates with him and her son. It is a mirror that will reflect your future. Are you ready for just such a scenario?
It is worth considering if:
the future father-in-law does not listen at all to his wife, looks at her contemptuously and haughtily , constantly interrupts and suppresses her initiative, raises his voice to her, does not pay attention, criticizes in your presence, etc. etc. (he is a typical domestic despot, and such a dad is not the most best example for your betrothed);
the future mother-in-law behaves in a similar way towards her husband and son (yet worst case, because in this case, you will be avenged for all the grievances suffered from your mother, because you are also a woman. And at the same time count on reliable male shoulder not necessary. Because you will have to solve all the basic life questions yourself);
the conversations of his relatives revolve exclusively around material problems, and for all their troubles and problems, they blame exclusively the Supreme Council and the Government, as well as the President, a neighbor, Pushkin (most likely, you will soon be included in this list of outsiders, so be careful with such relatives).
There is also a mass of purely individual nuances that you can see on your own if you open your eyes wider.
Among other things, we are very often
Captured by prejudices and stereotypes
which do not allow us to objectively look at the situation.
So, for example, we decided that the husband must necessarily be a breadwinner and reach professional heights, and the wife must cook well and run the house. Why, in fact, not the other way around?
This pattern of thinking is already several thousand years old, the times of primitive hunters have long since sunk into oblivion. But we stubbornly cling to the usual standards and when life does not live up to our expectations, we fall into depression.
Have you ever heard reasoning modern girls about their desired fiancé and their anticipated future? Everyone wants to marry a wealthy man who will be their support and support, will financially provide. And if a girl works, she will spend her salary on herself. How cute! But it smacks of house-building. Do you have such thoughts? I think it's time to give them up. Because it Right way to a dependent and powerless existence. Why did you suddenly decide that someone should provide you, solve your problems, chew them and put them in your mouth in the form of candy? This is your life! Be a hostess and learn to cope with difficulties yourself.
Occurs, of course, in our modern life and the opposite situation. When the whole load of family and professional problems the woman is lucky, and the man ... suffers, creates, lies on the couch, hits religion, drinks, sits in prison ... Is it worth continuing ...?
We are now not talking about distortions in one direction or the other, but about how how to find your soul mate and guess that this is exactly the person with whom you will be happy.
"Mine" or "not mine"?
I think every woman can feel it. Intuition rarely fails us. Only a woman can feel some of the most subtle inner motives, future storylines of her life. True, we very often do not listen to our to the inner voice... Why?
- To be alone
- Be left with nothing
- Make a mistake
- To be disappointed in the beautiful image we have invented ...
Remember Apina's song: "I blinded him from what was, and then what happened, I fell in love"? Isn't it on the basis of this principle that many of us choose their life partner?
“What if this fleeting rudeness of his is just an accidental trait, suddenly, in fact, he is good, he simply does not know how to be polite, gentle, affectionate with me, ... but he earns a lot, ... and he has such beautiful ears (legs, nose, eyes ... other parts of the body), ... what if ... ",- we calm ourselves down.
If you can make a difference, try it. If not, change your view of her, and then she herself will return to normal.
This advice is taken literally by many. And they change their view so much that later they hardly recognize themselves. That is, they completely reshape reality in the image and likeness of their irrepressible fantasy. And here you just need to open your eyes and be present where you are now. Deeply, objectively, to the fullest, frankly looking the truth in the eye. And then you will see true motives and secret reasons certain actions, and most importantly, you will understand that this person is "YOUR", that it is with him that you want to live the rest of your life.
Irina VLASENKO