How long does love last? Why does love pass? Reasons why love has passed. Constant thoughts about your loved one
How older man become, the more the need arises to be loved and needed. It is falling in love that makes it possible to become important to one person. In psychology, the term falling in love is compared to addiction and a feeling of euphoria, when basic emotions and actions are suppressed, all vitality directed towards the object of adoration. Despite all their rationality, men also fall in love. So what are men like in love and how long does their love last?
· Feeling of joy and energy
There is no one more loving than a man during the period of “pink feelings”. He seems to be in euphoria, which allows him to simply enjoy every day spent with his beloved. In psychology, scientists talk about the beneficial effects of falling in love not only on physical indicators, but also on personal development.
· Dreams about the future
An unusual trait is inherent in every guy and girl. Take at least traditional theme family relations, where a couple is thinking about the future: a house by the sea, three children, a wedding with a hundred guests, and so on.
· Out of time
Appreciate every minute spent next to your loved one Not accessible to everyone, but it is during the “pink” period that time becomes tangible. For example, if a couple of schoolchildren start dating, then some difficulties arise - strictly certain time for a walk, classes, part-time work. So in adult life: It’s not easy to keep a freedom-loving partner who wants to see each other every day, hour, minute. Such a relationship lasts a long time and is not always for the benefit of one of the partners.
· Thoughts about your loved one
U young man inner world more limited up to a point. He is interested in his partner not as a person, but as private property, which can be disposed of. He wants to take it for himself and not give it to anyone. After all, the thoughts of a man were shaped perfect image women where the relationship lasts exactly as long as it is convenient and comfortable for him and the girl agrees to such conditions.
· "Weakness"
When falling in love, a person becomes more sensitive and sensitive. Not uncommon during petty quarrels the couple can push on sore “buttons.” But a man does not open his soul to be spat on. But usually a person does not pay attention to such “skirmishes,” which often leads to manipulation and play with feelings by one of the partners.
· Willingness to do anything
A man, by his psychology, is more prone to unusual and sometimes uncharacteristic actions, for example, at six in the morning to go sing under the windows of his beloved with a guitar and a bouquet of flowers. At the same time, if actions are not noticed, then the person becomes internally empty and depressed. The longer the unrequited relationship lasts, the faster the feelings fade. After all, both partners must be willing to do anything and make some personal sacrifices.
Why do men fall in love?
Like girls, men in relationships are looking for ways to self-realize as the stronger sex in order to feel like a protector of a weak and fragile woman. It is necessary that the girl recognize him as a leader and value him as a person, respect his own “I”;
The opportunity for self-realization not only in a career, but also in relationships, as well as family. It is such a man who becomes a support and hope for a “bright future.” After all, it is from him that all family members will take their example.
It is important to remember that every man is capable of real actions only in the presence of moral support loving woman. It is the girl who gives the opportunity to realize what the young man strives for. After all, often the main thing is not how long a relationship lasts, but its quality and the spiritual support of the partner.
How long does a man's love last?
Psychology is a capricious science, but scientists have come to the conclusion that falling in love does not last for years, as the muse-inspired classics write. No, according to statistics " tender feelings" last from three days to three years. The more emotions are in similar condition, the more difficult it will be for a person to return to the “normal routine of life.” Falling in love is always exhausting. After all, a man is in a tense state almost around the clock: what if I say something is wrong and she gets offended? During this period, the body experiences enormous pressure, not only psychological, but also physical.
It is important to note that falling in love also has a beneficial effect on the person himself. A man becomes more gallant, interesting, and well-groomed. Develops as a personality to conquer his other half. But maintaining such a pace of life is very difficult, and to the question: “How long will the relationship last?”, you can answer this way: the feeling will either leave one of the partners or develop into love. It doesn’t matter how long a man’s love lasts, the main thing is to create such interaction with him that these feelings develop into love.
Love or infatuation?
Many young people and even mature men They don’t always understand the difference between the feeling of love and falling in love. After all, the first category opens new world relationships where emotions cannot be controlled and they completely dissolve in the relationship, and the latter strive to fill life bright emotions and impressions. Both types mistake falling in love for love, because the desire for constant celebration and euphoria periodically becomes a priority. But without this stage of development it is impossible to move to a deeper emotional level- Love. Psychology identifies the following differences:
· Depth of feelings
Love is a deep feeling of respect and sympathy for your partner, while falling in love is only a superficial feeling. The first lasts for years and is supported by two partners, for the sake of preserving warm relations And family hearth. The second is content with the emotional side of the issue, satisfying the need for physical and spiritual intimacy. It is in love that only the fact of having a partner is important, for whose sake feats are accomplished, but in love both work for the benefit of the relationship. The psychology of relationships between a loved one and not a person in love is not limited to the self-realization of one of the partners.
· Ways of expression
Forms of manifestation of love are always caring for another 
man, his well-being. It seems like a small thing, but it’s nice when a man takes care of your well-being and needs. When falling in love, everyone plays for themselves. After all " perfect girl"will not demand unnecessary and unbearable demands. And do it to her a pleasant surprise and then brag about your successes to your friends - important element public life.
· Dedication
A sincerely loving person does not demand anything in return - he is selfless. The attitude of his chosen one towards him comes first. A person voluntarily helps a loved one, take care of her, without demanding anything in return. A person in love is greedy for attention and narcissism. Not everyone can make sacrifices for the sake of their beloved. Even if such a feat is accomplished, the gentleman expects a response in the same equivalent as the previously rendered service.
In different centuries different people They treated love differently: some considered this feeling a blessing from heaven, while others considered it a curse that could deprive a person of his will. And now the debate about what love is and how long this feeling lasts does not subside - psychologists and psychiatrists constantly put forward new ones, with the help of which they try to explain the nature of this feeling. Some mental health experts have even included love on the list. mental illness, assigning it code F 63.9 in the list of diseases in the WHO registry, while others set the duration of love - one and a half years (in some cases - up to 3 years).
Is love really just that? mental disorder, which can be cured with medication or wait 2-3 years until the disease will pass herself? Or did scientists rush to conclusions and consider love and passion to be love, and not a real feeling? How many years does love actually last and is it possible to preserve it for decades?
Love: its origin and development of this feeling
To understand how many years love lasts, and why some couples manage to maintain their feelings after decades, while the relationships of others fall apart 1-3 years after their inception, you first need to understand what we call love and how this feeling arises. Some people are sure that love is always at first sight, and that “spark” that passes between lovers is precisely a sublime feeling. But both psychologists and most people do not agree with this opinion, because it is impossible to love someone you don’t know at all, only for attractive appearance or beautiful eyes.
So-called love at first sight actually has more to do with a chemical reaction in the body than with deep feeling- at the moment of such “love”, a person’s pulse and heartbeat quicken due to the large release of hormones into the blood, all thoughts are confused, attention is focused only on the object of passion. However, usually such an all-consuming passion quickly passes, and after just a few days of communicating with the object of love, a person begins to objectively perceive reality and notice the visible shortcomings of the passion. The only exceptions are those cases when a person cannot communicate with the object of his passion, and then such a “love fever” can last for years - for example, this applies to situations when people fall in love with famous actors, show business stars, government and political figures etc., and in some cases - initially unrequited love. If the relationship between lovers develops, then it goes through 4 main stages, which psychologists sometimes also call the stages of love:
1. Passionate love - a condition whose duration ranges from several days to several weeks. Such love has much in common with obsessive-compulsive disorder and several others, since during this period a person, due to the large presence of special chemical compounds and hormones in the blood, he cannot concentrate on anything other than the object of his desires; he wants to constantly be near him. This is the kind of love that is sung in songs and dreamed about. romantic guys and girls, but this all-consuming feeling does not last long - after a maximum of a month it is replaced by “possessive” love.
2. “Possessive” love or love with conditions - the stage of development of love, at which a person begins to take a closer look at his partner and determine whether his passion is suitable for long term relationship. Such love can no longer be called blind, because a person puts forward certain demands on his partner and compares his real personal qualities with his own expectations. This is why many relationships that began with “love at first sight” end after 2-3 months - the first passion passes, and the person understands what he has with someone who seemed ideal just a few days ago. However, such falling in love is far from sublime love, because at this stage a person listens first of all to his sensations and feelings, and will remain with his beloved only if he feels comfortable and comfortable with him. A loved one at this stage of the development of love is perceived not as an equal partner in a relationship, but as the “property” of the lover, which must meet his expectations. Typically, such love lasts up to a year and a half, but some couples can remain at this stage for many years.
3. The stage of transition from infatuation to love. Signs that falling in love is developing into something more is a decrease in the proportion of romantic emotions in the range of feelings that a person experiences for a loved one. Strong passion, the desire to constantly be near, to own all the thoughts and feelings of the object of love are replaced by trust, emotional affection and tenderness. At this stage, the so-called “grinding in” between partners occurs, when they begin to fully understand each other, learn to take into account each other’s interests and find a compromise. The duration of this stage of love is 1-2 years, depending on the intensity of the relationship.
4. True love. Only those couples who did not break up at the stage of falling in love and grinding in their characters and were able to maintain tenderness and mutual trust in relationships, find real selfless love. in such pairs can be called partnerships, since the pairs have common interests And common goal, to whcih loving people moving together. Such love, based not on chemistry or hormones, but on trust and affection, is not afraid of the test of time, especially if the partners can maintain sexual interest to each other.
How long does love last?
Having examined how feelings arise and develop in a person’s soul, one can not only answer the question of how many years love lasts, but also understand where scientists came from to conclude that love lasts from one and a half to three years. If we take altered chemical reactions in human body, accompanied by increased activity of some glands internal secretion, then she physiological reasons cannot last more than a year and a half - this maximum term, during which all processes in the body are normalized to the state that was before the onset of falling in love. Therefore, couples who are not connected by anything other than “chemistry” and love usually break up after 1.5-3 years - strong passion cools down during this period, and such partners have no common goals, interests and desire to compromise.
True love is not an instantaneous feeling, but the result of the work of both partners who managed to build trusting relationship based on mutual respect and tenderness. Such love has nothing to do with a sense of ownership, selfishness and a consumer attitude towards another person; there is no place for mistrust in it. The duration of such love does not depend on the presence and concentration of any chemical compounds in the body, so it can live in a person’s soul all his life.
Psychologists have been able to identify the main stages of falling in love. At the first stage, there is a separation specific person from the crowd. When you see him, your heart begins to beat faster. All thoughts are occupied with him. On at this stage Not yet real relationships, and the feeling of love blossoms.
Delight is replaced by doubts regarding the reciprocity of feelings. There is a readiness for a relationship. There is a desire to please, to constantly be in the field of view of the object of love.
After the first date is set, the euphoria of reciprocity appears. This feeling is blinding and breathtaking. There is a desire not to be separated from your loved one, to enjoy closeness with him. Consciousness sees only its positive qualities.
The object of love seems almost ideal. And sometimes this or that suspicious detail appears immediately fades into the background and is not taken into account. The thought of re-educating a loved one, if necessary, easily arises.
Over time, the qualities of a loved one begin to be perceived in a real light. At this stage, the pros often turn into cons. It turns out that the other half does not strive to change at all. The first quarrels begin to arise.
At the next stage, either a break occurs, or the relationship moves to a completely different level, called love. In the second case, the couple, while continuing to admire each other, gradually learns to accept negative sides her soul mate as part of her personality.
Duration of falling in love and its pathological form
According to scientists, the state of love can last from 12 to 17 months. This time is often enough to get a refusal or achieve reciprocity. But the state of emotional dependence can last for a very long time, bringing more feelings of suffering than joy.
There are people who tend to fall into the above emotional dependence. In most cases, these are people with low self-esteem who begin to feel complete only when they are around someone. They cling to whoever is nearby, even if they are completely unsuitable for each other. The situation is aggravated if there is a tendency of the object of love to manipulate. Such relationships can last for years. Such love can be classified as pathological. In some cases, only a psychologist can help get out of this state.
Love comes unexpectedly, pushes people to the most brave deeds, makes you look at the world in a new way.
However, this feeling cannot last forever, it passes. People often wonder: how long does falling in love last? To get an answer to this, you need to familiarize yourself with the answers of psychologists.
How to forget your first love? Find out about this from ours.
What it is?
They call it falling in love positive feeling, which arises when looking at the object of sympathy.
Consciousness at this moment narrows, which leads to ignoring the shortcomings of the object.
The person idealizes him, pays attention only to positive qualities.
This feeling is hope for possible happiness. A person experiences a bright feeling that inspires him, gives birth to love for life and everything around him.
However, a lover most often experiences feelings not to the real person, but to her image which he represents. He becomes dependent on the object of his adoration.
On physical level this phenomenon is explained by the functioning of certain glands in the human body.
The hormone dopamine leads to a powerful surge of emotions. It helps a person move towards his goal, overcoming obstacles.
What are the signs?
Recognizing a person in love is quite simple, the following signs help with this:
In addition, a person partially loses the ability to think logically. He makes rash decisions and does stupid things.
It can be very difficult to concentrate on anything. Some people experience craving for creativity. They become inspired to write poetry, music, and paintings.
Signs of falling in love:
Difference from love
An important detail that many people forget: falling in love happens. In any case, it will take time for love to be born. Falling in love is the first step on the path to true love.
How to distinguish love from infatuation? Find out from the video:
Duration of feeling
How long does falling in love last for men?
The duration of falling in love largely depends on the individual qualities of the man. Usually this feeling lasts 2-3 years.
After this time, the man begins to notice the shortcomings of his beloved, which he will either accept or reject. At this stage, the relationship becomes stronger or the couple breaks up.
How long does a woman's love last? Women and men fall in love the same: 2-3 years. At this time, girls do not notice the shortcomings of their chosen ones and idealize them.
When 2-3 years pass, the euphoria disappears, the woman begins to evaluate her loved one more rationally. In this case, she will either accept his shortcomings or break up with him.
When does true love begin?
It all depends on the couple themselves: sometimes this feeling lasts for several months, and sometimes for many years.
Usually when love ends, true love begins.
Despite the revealed shortcomings, people continue to love each other, care and treat each other with tenderness.
This strong feeling, which can last a lifetime.
Psychology of a man in love:
3 year hypothesis
Why do they say that love lasts two or three years? There is a theory that love lasts three years. In fact, there is some truth in it, but not the whole truth.
In the first three years of a relationship, people feel strong passion, euphoria. Feelings can be bright, intense, and literally bind people to each other.
However, feelings gradually weaken, people get used to each other, and begin to see shortcomings. This leads to quarrels, scandals, which lead to emotional wounds.
As a result, love disappears, but leaving a loved one can sometimes be very difficult. People get used to each other, become attached, remember joyful moments.
If in this case a person tries to understand his soulmate, accepts her shortcomings, a real feeling will be born that can last a lifetime.
People will come out for a new one. Three years later love doesn't end, it just begins.
Euphoria, head in the clouds and selfishness disappear. People begin to care about each other and become truly close. Even without euphoria, they continue to be together, enjoying each other's company.
How to prove to a girl that you love her? will help you!
Is it true that love lasts 3 years? Expert opinion:
When will the passion subside?
Passion is a vivid feeling that arises in both men and women. Although passion can literally control a person, tie to the other half, it cannot last forever.
Its duration depends on the person himself, his character traits, interests, and personality traits. According to psychologists, passion lasts from several weeks to one year.
Passion without love disappears quickly, this especially often happens when a couple begins to live together. Cohabitation - The best way get to know your soulmate and not everything will suit you.
If a person previously felt passion, elevated the object of adoration, then during cohabitation he falls from heaven to earth and realizes that the object of adoration is quite ordinary, a real man, which is not ideal in many ways.
However, passion could turn into something more serious which leads to strong relationships, but for this people must be able to listen to each other and work on themselves.
If they want to save the relationship, get used to each other, passion will turn into affection, care, love.
How long does passion last? Psychologist's opinion:
Do feelings go away over time?
Love pushes people to start a family and have children. However, even the strongest feeling can pass and fade away over time. People then stop feeling love and decide to break up.
Love passes because of routine, monotonous life, frequent quarrels. There can be a huge number of reasons. There are couples who show strong love throughout life, but there are very few of them.
They are distinguished by the fact that they were able to go through many obstacles with their loved one, they did not give up on their feelings, continued to take care of each other.
Very often love fades when a person’s tastes and preferences change.
He moves to a new stage of development, begins to see the world in a new way and is surprised to discover that his soul mate does not share his new ideas, plans for the future.
Disagreements arise that can cause a break in the relationship. To save love, it is recommended to communicate a lot, try to understand loved one, look at the world through his eyes. The ability to compromise can save a relationship.
Even those couples who have lived together all their lives encountered scandals, quarrels at least once and a real crisis in the relationship. There is no need to think that everything was perfect for them.
The difference between such couples is that they were able to compromise and overcome obstacles. They tried to escape from routine by traveling, romantic dates. Such people continued to work on relationships and solved difficulties together. This only strengthened the feeling of love.
Over time, love may pass, or it may remain. It all depends on the people themselves and those efforts, which are applied in the process of relationships.
According to statistics, 45% of couples break up after 3 years. This suggests that almost half of couples are not able to overcome this threshold. If we take a longer period of time - 10 years, then statistics say that in this case 70% of couples break up.
Not everyone can overcome a 10-year relationship. Their mistake is that they stop working on relationships., only notice negative qualities each other.
Any dissatisfaction must be resolved together, you need to learn admit your mistakes and work on them, becoming better.
Infatuation and love are different feelings which people very often confuse, make mistakes in relationships and, as a result, break up. Knowing the features of these phenomena and working on themselves, people will be able to overcome all hardships together and maintain a loving relationship.
Love is the most wonderful feeling of all, hitherto known to man. It helps you enjoy life and create, gives inspiration and faith in the best. But sometimes she leaves without warning. And there comes a moment when a person notices that the “half” seems to be slipping through his fingers. Of course, you shouldn’t prepare for such a moment in advance, because it may not happen. But if you notice in time that your partner is beginning to “cool down,” there is a chance to return the old feelings.
Be more attentive to the details: it is in them that the answer to the secret question is hidden, which we often address to daisies - seemingly for the sake of a joke, but at the same time, like children, we wait with bated breath for a miracle. You need to understand that in any relationship there are ups and downs, times of calm and moments when smoldering embers can flare up with renewed vigor. But in the situations discussed below, something clearly went wrong...
1. Anna Karenina in Leo Tolstoy’s novel of the same name began to irritate her husband’s ears. If something like this happens to you - something that used to not cause a reaction, but now it catches your eye all the time, or something that you liked is now repulsive - most likely, big changes have occurred in your relationship.
2. They don’t look at you much, that is. eye contact became less continuous and expressive. People smile at you less often. If you look closely, you will notice that in your presence. Or you began to notice such an attitude towards your partner.
3. Very often a person who stops feeling love for his partner begins to touch him less and less. He has no need or desire to feel the person he once loved. Even if he is in a small room, he will try to avoid mutual touches, and if this cannot be avoided, they will not be affectionate and warm, like those of a person in love.
4. As soon as a man and a woman stop laughing at the same jokes and making fun of each other, it’s time to revive the relationship if you still care about your partner. The ability to laugh at what is happening, at funny and difficult situations, not only helps to live, but also indicates harmony between people.
5. You notice that you become uninterested in almost everything that your partner says or might say. Communication with him seems to take all your energy. The partner, for his part, may not support the proposed topic, but rather strive to “collapse” it. Conversations mainly concern formal things that simply have nowhere to go, or are started simply to take time and maintain a semblance of contact.
6. Loving couple characterizes the desire to jointly develop plans to achieve goals that are important to them. Reluctance to share plans or discuss decisions that affect the future life together, should be a warning to you that your partner has stopped feeling for you powerful emotions. And if such secrecy was not inherent in him right away, it’s worth thinking about how to correct the situation before everything went too far.
7. Rare signs indicate that your partner has stopped loving you. phone calls. At the beginning of a relationship, any man strives to win a woman, constantly calling her and checking how she is in her mood, what she does, and how she treats him. When the love is gone, the man doesn’t care, and he bothers himself with calls less and less. And he begins to answer the chosen one’s calls later and later, citing urgent matters.
8. Often, with or without a minor reason, your partner (or you) has an irritated tone in a conversation. Increasingly, scandals arise in couples over and especially without reason.
9. During a showdown, the partner does not strive for a constructive solution to problems, but simply tries to hurt, offend and humiliate you as much as possible. It is as if he is trying to force you to be the first to abandon this relationship, creating an unbearable environment in which it is impossible to live.
10. If they don’t argue with you, they may simply remain dejectedly silent - as if holding the answer or remark inside themselves. The partner withdraws into himself and stops participating in family life, preferring to throw myself headlong into work or some hobby.
11. You periodically catch yourself feeling that everything has already been said between you, nothing new will happen and you just have to tolerate the person who has quietly become a stranger to you. There is a vague feeling that you are wasting your time.
12. Under any pretext on weekends, your “other half” tries to disappear from home, preferring to spend free time with friends (it is possible that with a new potential “soul mate”). It is especially alarming if, before leaving home, the partner’s mood noticeably increases, and he examines himself in the mirror more pickily than usual.
13. If a partner indifferently watches how his significant other is flirting with someone else (or someone is trying to flirt with her), then things are bad: as they say, “the love has passed, the tomatoes have withered.” And the time of separation here depends on whether the lovers are married or just living together. The main thing is not to mistake an offended and demonstratively turned away partner for an indifferent statue!
14. See if your other half is hiding something? If he or she stays on his or her device and closes the screen when he or she thinks you might be snooping, you most likely have serious reason think about it. Unless they are preparing a surprise birthday party for you or looking for a gift in an online store. But this will be more of an isolated incident rather than a permanent behavior.
15. If you are almost sure that your partner is playing a double game, and you are determined to take him to clean water, use the bluff method. Make a serious face and say convincingly: “I know everything.” If the “other half” is really lying up to her ears, she will buy it and give herself away completely. In the worst case, you can definitely find out what you only guessed about. In the best case, you will find out that you were needlessly beating yourself up, and your loved one has been afraid for weeks to admit that it was he who accidentally broke your favorite cup.