How to maintain a relationship with a man. How to maintain a relationship with a loved one? How to maintain a long relationship

12.04.2019

Entering into serious relationship with a man, every woman wants to believe that they are the same. The ones for life. In which there will be warmth, trust, understanding, support and, of course, strong and mutual love. The desire to be happy is completely logical and understandable to everyone. As well as the desire for good things to happen by themselves, the bad things bypassed, and the woman would only happily accept gifts from fate. Unfortunately, this does not happen. Any relationship needs permanent job over them, whether we like it or not. Someone knows how to keep them unconsciously, others need information on how and what needs to be done in order for a man and a woman to stay close as long as possible and be happy. Let's try together to figure out how to maintain a relationship with a loved one. But first you need to understand that almost everything depends only on the two of you. Not from third parties, not from circumstances, not from cataclysms. Of course, all this to some extent has or tries to influence your relationship. But it is on your reaction to certain events that the safety of the union depends.

How to maintain a long relationship?

When a man and a woman are just starting to meet, both are in euphoria. This is known to all candy-bouquet period, during which both try to show themselves with better side to win over your partner even more. This does not mean that people wear masks - rather, they want to demonstrate their strengths trying not to advertise the weak. But now it becomes clear that the relationship is strong enough, the heart of the beloved is won. So, you can finally demonstrate yourself as you are, entirely. And this is fraught with quarrels and misunderstandings. Do not be afraid of this - you can hardly find a relationship in which there are never disagreements. What matters is how people deal with them. Important

listen to each other and express your point of view as clearly as possible

You are offended that the partner did not read your thoughts and did something not the way you would like. But how often do you talk in detail about your desires? After all, your lover is not a telepath. If you have disagreements about a particular issue, each side should express their views on this matter. How many quarrels arise from misunderstandings! After all, both of you are not telepaths!

look for compromises

Rarely do you find exactly the same people. Each of us is an adult personality with our own views and principles. But you can always find something in common, something that will suit both. If you have to make an important decision, you need to take into account the opinions of both parties. It is helpful to write down the pros and cons and then try to find matches.

accept not only the advantages, but also the disadvantages of a partner

Everyone has flaws. And you too! For strong relationship it is very important to accept the beloved “whole”, as he is. Try to look at his shortcomings from the other side and find something good in them. For example, he refuses to eat some foods that you love, as a result of which you have to cook separately for yourself and for him. This causes some inconvenience. Read about the properties of these products - maybe they are harmful to health? In this case, he is just great: he cares about his own body! Why don't you think about it too?

try to experiment

IN this case It's about problem solving methods. For example, your partner forgets to take out the trash, which makes you angry. The result is a scandal. But at the same time, you perfectly understand that when you start swearing, the garbage from this remains in its place. Why persevere with a method that does not work? Try changing tactics. First of all, communicate calmly, not in raised tones. Best of all - with humor. And do not forget that the gingerbread in many cases is much more effective than the whip. Reward the man every time he takes the initiative.

admit your mistakes

Every person is wrong from time to time. But when he continues to prove otherwise, it is fraught with a quarrel. If you're really wrong, don't be afraid to admit it!

However, the secret ofhow to save family relationships , lies not only in the ability to correctly get out of quarrels, but also in trying to avoid them in many cases. For example, a lot of disputes and scandals arise due to the fact that one of the partners is trying to fill the whole world of the other. But, despite the fact that your union is now called "we", the two "I" have not disappeared anywhere! Any person needs personal space, which is only at his disposal. But in practice, it is far from uncommon when a man, for example, wants to be with friends in a male company or even alone, and a woman is offended by the lack of attention on his part. Or vice versa. And a scandal arises: it seems to one that they have forgotten about him, and the second is offended by the lack of respect for his personal space. It is important to realize that even the most sociable person at least sometimes, at least for a short time, needs solitude. Therefore, if your partner wants to spend time without you - do not be offended. Do you also have something to do at this time? Go shopping, meet a friend, read a book, finally!

The answer to the question "how to keep lovelies in maintaining interest and attention to each other. For this you need:

maintain physical contact

Even if you've been together for ten years, it's still so nice to hug, hold hands, touch each other! At these moments, you get closer even more, so do not neglect such signs of attention.

make small gifts, arrange surprises for each other

All this remained in the candy-bouquet period? It's not very good. After all, gifts and surprises are a manifestation of attention, which is necessary at any stage of a relationship. Let it be very small, but nice presents. Not expensive - but how many positive emotions they can cause! And even a note with an expression of one's feelings, thrown into a man's pocket, can be a surprise.

expand your comfort zone

The same events day in and day out can really get boring soon. But there are so many interesting things around that you are not familiar with yet! Try at least once a month to devote yourself to a new activity: for example, go to a concert of an unfamiliar band together, try to master together the new kind sports or just go to a restaurant serving exotic dishes for lunch.

show interest in a partner

It seems to you that you completely and completely know your beloved, but this is not so. After all, we all change and improve. You can not allow indifference in a relationship - be interested in changes in the personality of a partner, his affairs, even if you have lived together for many years!

And finally last tip on the topic of how to maintain a relationship - do not strive for ideals, they do not exist! Someone is trying to bring themselves closer to the ideal. For example, you try to be the best at everything by masking your flaws. This, firstly, can make the relationship too even, and therefore boring. Secondly, it is fraught nervous disorders, because it is very difficult to constantly restrain yourself: sooner or later there will be a breakdown. Don't try to be perfect. Be yourself! After all, this man fell in love not with a woman without flaws, but with you, the way you are. He accepted you like that, why adjust yourself to some standards? However, this does not mean that there is no need to change at all. If any flaw seriously harms your relationship, it is better to eradicate it. But this should already be discussed with a man, asking what is stopping him in you.

Others try to ideal partner, because of which he quite rightly rebels and is indignant. Again, you love him for who he is. Why are you trying to change now?

And finally, try to be positive about everything! So you can avoid negative influence on your relationship even negative phenomena and events.

In a relationship, the constant work of both spouses is important. Romance soon develops into a routine, and in perfect image all imperfections show up. The woman is the guardian family hearth. It depends on her what the relationship will be like and how long it will last.

How to keep relationships for a long time?

All advice is relevant only if people are ready to work on themselves, admit mistakes and constructive criticism, and look for compromise solutions.

To prevent cracks in the relationship, it is necessary to periodically analyze the situation and your own behavior. It is important to honestly answer yourself the question: “What keeps the family?”. On love, fear of loneliness, desire to fit in public opinion? Or has the relationship just become a habit that you don’t want to part with?

Relationship healing begins with prioritization. Creating a family means overcoming obstacles together, sharing successes, healthy and happy children. Should all this be crossed out because of some shortcomings of the spouse, his carelessness or forgetfulness? Before each scandal, you should think about what is more important - love or perfect order in the house.
Relationships are impossible without communication. Innuendo has destroyed many couples. No man can read the thoughts of his soulmate. All the problems unpleasant moments should be discussed. The game of silence is not an option, but a dead end in a relationship.
It is important to be able not only to speak, but also to listen and hear your spouse. You can not share the hobbies of your soulmate, but it is simply necessary to show an elementary interest. Otherwise, all communication will be reduced only to short everyday phrases.
Support inspiration is necessary for every person. Sweet Nothing in times of failure and sincere praise in case of success can strengthen relationships forever.
Ability to yield. A man should always feel like a support, protection and head of the family. It is impossible to do this next to an eternally arguing woman. Gambling bettors should turn every argument into a game. The loser can wash the dishes. Or fulfill the wish of the winner. This will bring novelty to the relationship, help to avoid quarrels.
Respectful of the habits and personal space of the spouse. Everyone has the right to little oddities. The opportunity to be alone or devote part of your free time to your favorite hobby. Clever woman find himself an exciting activity while her man is busy with his business.
Joint interests and recreation. Often couples stop going out together, plunge into family life, joint classes reduced to watching TV in the evening. For long term relationship you need any activity that unites - going to the cinema, folding origami, extreme views sports.
Sex. Without passionate, regular and varied sex, any relationship comes to naught. This The best way let off steam or reconcile.

How to keep a long distance relationship?

Separation is a test for relationships, which not every couple can withstand. Distance can weaken feelings, communication through the phone does not convey all the characteristics of a person on which love was based.

After any quarrel, you need to calmly analyze the situation, find out the reasons. The main thing is not to become isolated and not to blame only the partner for everything. Any quarrel is a reason to reconsider the model of behavior, to find compromise solutions.

What to do in order not to destroy relationships during a long separation?

Daily communication - you need to agree on a convenient time for communication, when nothing will interfere and distract from the conversation. During a conversation, you need to tell your loved one about your feelings, tell last news to share your impressions of the day. He should feel like a part of the family even at a distance.
To speak more tender words - it is important for the chosen one to hear that they miss him, that they need him. You need to say how much you want to hug and kiss him. Feelings should be spoken openly so that a man does not get upset and do stupid things.
Joint plans - this will enable the chosen one to understand that his place in the life of a loved one is not taken.

Having found her soul mate, every girl or woman believes that love has happened to her forever and they will live happily ever after. It is necessary to throw into the fire brushwood of patience, understanding, wisdom and support. These skills are not born, they are not taught at school and at the university. When there is a need to learn how to keep feelings, you can borrow experience from parents, if their marriage is happy, from wise old couples or from psychologists.

Girls often make one common mistake - they try to become everything for their boyfriend. They are actively interested in his hobbies, read uninteresting books, watch football and eat unloved dishes. As a result of such a filling of the guy's living space, he begins to suffocate from her omnipresence.

This behavior has its downsides:

guys consider the girl obsessive and try to get rid of her as soon as possible;
some regard this behavior as distrust of themselves;
the lack of personal space destroys the guy's communication with friends;
the girl constantly adapts to other people's interests and betrays herself.

Trying too hard to please the guy, the girl steps over herself, ceases to distinguish between her interests and those of others. Such behavior may end in an emotional outburst that will give her the opportunity to relieve stress, but it is not known how this will be perceived by the guy.

The second extreme is that the girl begins to do everything to become his dream.

She is trying:

cook deliciously;
look nice;
never get angry or annoyed;
be interesting in communication.

The girl is reading women's magazines, goes to beauty salons and studies psychological articles, trying to always be on top. This approach requires considerable effort, so she will get tired, and the real face of a person will appear - lively and sincere.

Not all guys love perfect girls, some consider them lifeless and discolored.

It is much more interesting to communicate with a living person filled with emotions. If a girl is worried about how to support feelings, it is better to be herself from the very beginning. You don't have to be a perfect doll - it looks boring and uninteresting. Correct option- be sincere, because that's how she liked the guy.

Willingness to yield

The more rigid and categorical a person is, the more difficult it is for him to build personal relationships. The ability to make concessions is an eternally feminine category that characterizes wise man. Being capricious and selfish is an enjoyable activity that most guys appreciate. But this opportunity should be used occasionally.

Have you already gone on vacation to the sea four times, and your beloved is rushing to the village to visit his grandmother? You can give in and try to find yourself there interesting activity: draw landscapes, swim or sunbathe. Reasonable concessions are a way to maintain a love relationship.

Different points of view lead to disputes. To prevent this from happening, avoid sharp corners, express your opinion at the moment when your loved one is ready to listen to it. Women's intuition will help determine such a moment.

A simple advice from a psychologist: work on building personal relationships from two sides.

People are constantly changing, and you need to have a desire and interest in constantly meeting the Other in a familiar person.

talk about problems, do not leave unresolved issues;
respect the interests of another, if they are fundamentally different from their own;
do not hush up the shortcomings of the partner; remind them gently and tolerantly if a person wants to get rid of them;
learn to listen and support your soul mate;
do not criticize each other in public;
monitor personal hygiene, do not allow yourself to "sink" at home;
make joint plans;
admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness for mistakes;
cooperate with each other and share responsibilities;
monitor the health.

The list of tips that are important for the harmony of the relationship of two is incomplete, but following these simple rules can significantly improve the relationship of partners at any stage.

All couples go through the following stages in a relationship:

love is bright chemical love”, during which hormones responsible for euphoria and a sense of pleasure are released, lasts 12-18 months;
satiety - usually appears after the couple begins to live together; comes in a year, and for someone - in a couple of months;
rejection - the stage of falling rose-colored glasses, quarrels and attempts to remake a partner, for many ends in a break in relations;
patience - the crisis of relations is overcome by working on oneself, reading literature and attending trainings, sprouts of wisdom appear, and quarrels become manageable (usually this period falls on 3-5 years of marriage);
service - sincere desire taking care of another person over time causes the same care in response, from that moment the cultivation of true love in the soul begins;
respect - the couple has accumulated a large baggage of thoughts, feelings, ideas, wealth and can sincerely exchange them, this is the stage of cooperation, gratitude and mutual trust;
love - it comes into the relationship of two not as a gift, but as a fruit nurtured by their efforts.

Relationships are daily and painstaking work. Both men and women should work on them. However, due to their natural passivity, representatives strong half of humanity, if they do this, then only in the candy-bouquet period in order to lure their “prey”. Having received it, they very often relax and further development relationships are left to chance. Therefore, they are worried about how to maintain a relationship with a loved one. more woman. After all, it is not for nothing that they are called "keepers of the hearth" - without their participation, the fire of love will quickly go out.

with a loved man?

It is both simple and difficult at the same time. Simply - because there seem to be two people between whom there is love. And if there is love, then they cannot part. But it only happens in fairy tales that "they lived happily ever after." IN real life This wonderful feeling sometimes it does not stand the test of everyday life, time, finances, etc. It is difficult - because the other person, even the closest and beloved, is in some way a separate “planet”, which remains completely unknown. Each person has his own character and personality, so sometimes it is very difficult to build strong relationship despite all efforts. But a woman who is interested in how to maintain a relationship with her loved one will always find paths and loopholes to the soul of her beloved. They come to her aid female cunning and wisdom. she definitely succeeds with her beloved, and the man does not even suspect what kind of work is being done in relation to him!

Some ways

So what do you do to keep your union? A woman just needs to always be interesting, a little different and, of course, remain sexually attractive. This cannot be achieved if you do not take care of yourself. Styling, painting, manicure-pedicure, hair removal, neat and feminine wardrobe- without it, nothing will work. Try to be slightly incomprehensible to him, as if inaccessible. This turns men on very much, because the hunting instinct, albeit somewhere deep, is still there. However, this does not negate the existence of frank and trusting relationships - on the contrary, try to make them just like that. Strive to be the most best friend to her man. Many women, when thinking about how to save a relationship with a guy, make the same mistake. They tie him on short leash, without letting you take an extra step: endless calls, SMS, letters, daily meetings and questions about whether he loves her.

Normal men don't like to be controlled, so this tactic will cause him to run away to a smarter, more self-sufficient and interesting girl, which, besides him, has other interests. How to maintain a relationship with a loved one? Surround your man with attention, care, affection, love. Tell him more often tender words, be interested in his affairs, praise, notice and thank for everything he does for you. Build a trusting, sensual relationship, but at the same time remain a separate person from him with your interests, hobbies and worldview.

No matter how perfect your relationship is, sooner or later a critical point will come, after which everything will go downhill. Familiar words will no longer thrill you, flowers on holidays will become commonplace, and daily routine will become a habitual obligation. But you remember how recently you looked at your partner with passion, how everything was fine and you didn’t need anything extra. So what has changed? How to fix everything? ?

You know, each of us is a psychologist inside. Moreover, the more a person reads, the more often he comes across non-standard life situations, the more he begins to understand the thoughts and motives of other people. Of course, those who have been studying in this direction for several years have a very significant advantage, but in order to sort out typical thinking mental capacity usually enough for everyone. Why am I saying this? Now understand.

Let's look at an average relationship example. A young man and a girl met at some holiday and liked each other. Some time later, they had their first date and everything started spinning and spinning. Calling each other at three in the morning, love letters unexpected actions, joy in the eyes, the desire to always love and be loved. This is the first stage of the relationship, which is characterized by the greatest emotions and feelings. As a rule, when they talk about love, they mean exactly this stage. Let's call it "Happiness".

Then comes the period of "stagnation". You also love your partner, but for some reason the trembling in your soul no longer appears, and everything else is somehow tired. A typical monotonous life, with typical phrases, typical gifts and typical deeds. You can predict your partner's actions and it gets boring. You want, as before, that he constantly kisses you just like that, that he gives you his warmth and care all the time, that he looks at you with loving eyes, regardless of whether he worked all day or went shopping with you. But this is not.

And it all ends at the stage of "Parting". As a rule, at this moment one of the partners realizes that he really lacks either love, or attention, or something else, and he tries to solve the situation. Change is obtained literally from units, so the union is broken. It also happens that partners try to renew the relationship, but, as a rule, they slide back into the stage of stagnation and everything becomes terrible again. But this is not the end of the story, everything can be changed. You are interested in this, after all.

The surest way

There is one way that is guaranteed to work for anyone who wants to keep the relationship. Perhaps you yourself have repeatedly encountered this or read it in some magazine. The essence of this method is incredibly simple. It can bring truly significant results that will help you regain feelings and make your union stronger than ever.

It is about surprise, non-standard and unusual. Remember how you started the relationship. Everything was new, you wanted to reveal your partner, everything was interesting and unusual. You faced everything for the first time and it only fueled your interest. So why don't you revive those feelings and emotions. Especially if you want to revive the relationship. In fact, the main concept of this method is to return your relationship to the "Happiness" stage.

How can I do that. In general, there are an incredible number of methods. Starting from all sorts of platitudes that can please your partner, ending with really original things that match the interests of your significant other. It all depends on you, your capabilities and desires. Maybe if you have sufficient finances, you can organize romantic evening in Paris, which your girlfriend has long dreamed of. Or maybe you finally cook the dish that your boyfriend always wanted to try (usually this is the answer in response to the question, how to keep a relationship with a guy). And this is just the beginning.

The whole point is to kill the routine or monotony. However, remember that constant gifts and surprises also get bored sooner or later, so sometimes you need to keep your distance. Let's say your significant other has not seen you for two weeks, and here you are, and even with a gift, of course, this will only cause positive emotions. However, if you do this all the time, then sooner or later it will become boring, and you will get the exact opposite effect. And it is important that you yourself realize this.

It is important to alternate surprises. Material and non-material. What is important to both of you romantic dinner) and what is important only for a partner (some original gift). Sometimes a person just needs to be alone, consider this too and leave him unattended for some time. You will surely enjoy the situation when your partner after long separation will rejoice in any of your actions.

In general, add variety to your life, and this will definitely give desired result. Even if you just want to understand how to keep a long distance relationship.

Problems Affecting Relationships

There are also many issues that can have a profound effect on your relationship. I am sure, if you think about it now, you will surely remember not a single dozen examples of your behavior or the behavior of your partner that can cause swearing or just dissatisfaction. Surprisingly, after realizing such simple things, many people do not stop doing them. There can be many reasons: pride, temperament, stupidity, and so on. But for some reason, everyone remains with his own and does not want to give in.

However, there are problems that seem absolutely right to both parties, but at the same time they undermine the relationship. This soon leads to negative consequences up to divorce. The peculiarity lies in the fact that they are quite difficult to notice. But the main problem it is misunderstanding or unawareness. That is, even if now you are told about this problem without pre-training, then you are unlikely to believe me, and you will still continue to stand your ground.

If you want to maintain a relationship, then you need to carefully consider this issue, analyze your situation and take specific measures. You will be surprised, but the situation can change dramatically in a few days. You will understand that it was not in vain that you were interested, how to maintain a relationship with a loved one.

inattention

You made new hairstyle and your boyfriend didn't even notice? You came today in high spirits because of good deal, and your girlfriend constantly talks about dirty floors? How often do we encounter similar situations. Unfortunately, the problem of many couples is that they are inattentive to each other. Some even realize it, but do little. And this is a really significant problem.

What needs to be done to change the situation? In fact, you don't have to do anything big. It is enough just to be truly interested in the affairs of your soulmate and try to celebrate every change. But many people are too immersed in their own world and flatly refuse to accept someone else's worldview. Even in these situations, there is a way to improve the relationship.

Just start with yourself. Perhaps this rule will be suitable for any of the problems described below. If you start constantly listening to your partner, sincerely interested in his affairs, your relationship will go uphill. This also includes regular listening. A person constantly needs to speak out, but the vast majority of people do not do this simply because they have no one to talk to, no one listens to them. Think about it, and who else can your partner tell about their innermost thoughts, if not you?

This is especially true for women who are interested in how to maintain a relationship with your husband. Perhaps he simply lacks someone who can share his experiences and aspirations.

mutual respect

Surprisingly, for some reason, many people are afraid of this phrase. By the way, this trend began to develop right now, with the development social networks. For some reason, the vast majority of guys decided that the girls should unquestioningly obey any of their words, and the girls decided that they did not need anyone's support and should behave like the last bitch. From my point of view, this is incredibly stupid, but for some reason more and more people I know are starting to slide into this "someone else's opinion."

So, the main problem of this way of behavior is disrespect for your partner. That is, the concepts are based on the fact that most attention should be concentrated on yourself. Only on oneself. I so wanted - the partner should do so. It doesn't matter if he wants it or not. Another example is the attitude towards holidays. Let's say a girl wants to celebrate with her family, and a guy is in a restaurant. As a result of the clarification of relations comes critical situation and the couple starts a fight. And then wondering how to maintain a good relationship.

To prevent this from happening and make your relationship meaningful again, try to put yourself in your partner's shoes before you take any action or say offensive phrase. Think about how your significant other will react to what you are about to do. Will he be pleased or will he be upset, etc. Stop being so self-centered and finally think about your love. After all, earlier, during the period of “happiness”, you hardly allowed yourself such behavior.

Personal space

This point is especially true for girls, but a similar sin was noticed for some guys. The fact is that each person should have his own personal space, where he could feel as free and independent as possible. This is necessary to maintain inner balance, core, as well as individuality. When a person begins to constantly be under the influence of the surrounding people, he withers and gradually disappears. Relationships do not change.

If your boyfriend comes home from school or work tired and the first thing he does is sit down to play his favorite game, this does not mean that he has stopped loving you. Perhaps it is at this time that he needs to be alone in order to enjoy loneliness and think about the day he lived. Instead, you begin to bore him with conversations that seem really important to you. However, you are met with a rebuff, disappointed and throw a tantrum. Remember the first two problems? As you can see, the question how to maintain family relationships all spheres are interconnected.

I described typical situation but guys can do the same. Even I suffered from it for a while. So, give your partner a break from you at least for a while. Try somehow instead of starting a conversation, just hug him and lie down quietly next to him (if he, of course, is also lying). You will be surprised, but soon he himself will start a conversation. Of course, there is one method that will allow you to attract the attention of a man when he wants to be alone and at the same time remain 100% satisfied. You just need to undress 🙂

Discussion of problems

Some people amaze me. I call them "watermelons". Do you know why? Because inside they are just as red and if they are overexposed, they can burst. Now I'm talking about people who don't talk about the issues they care about. This is really strange, because you need to discuss problems, otherwise how to fix them. If you constantly endure, it will not lead to anything good.

Let's say your girlfriend is constantly getting ready for a long time. You are a very punctual person and you are annoyed by such behavior of the second half. But instead of discussing unpleasant situation, you prefer to proudly remain silent and accumulate resentment in yourself. As a result, sooner or later you will burst like a watermelon, and this can irreparably affect your relationship. So think ahead if you need it. And then you have to wonder how to keep a relationship with a girl.

It's also not worth the hassle. It is better to discuss with your loved one what worries you in a favorable, nice environment. In no case do not raise your voice, as this will not lead to anything good. Try to save trust relationship until the end of the conversation.

OK it's all over Now. The post has come to an end. I hope my advice is how to save a relationship, you will be helped, and you will find happiness again with your love. If you do not want to miss new posts that will be published on my blog, subscribe to updates. Also don't forget to ask your questions in the comments. Bye!