Bride's dowry: lists and rules. Wedding traditions. Dowry
Even our grandmothers, and some even mothers, began collecting a dowry for their daughter almost from the moment of her birth. Now such fees have lost their relevance - everything can be bought in one day, if you have the money. And therefore, not everyone knows what a dowry is, how this word is spelled, where the emphasis falls in it.
What is dowry?
The stress in the word “dowry” falls on the second syllable. The word “dowry” comes from the words “to give, to add,” so the meaning of the word is quite clear without additional explanation. A dowry is what the wife brought with her to her husband’s house, with which she supplemented the life of the young family.
Wife's dowry among the ancient Slavs
The ancient Slavs had a wife's dowry prerequisite getting married In Rus' they took this moment very seriously - the girl herself prepared the dowry throughout her life, putting it in a separate chest. And there was a lot to prepare; in addition to the wedding attire for her beloved, the bride had to prepare more than 30 embroidered tabletops and towels. The bride also had to prepare sashes and patterned towels as a gift to the groom's family and the groom himself. Very great attention paid to the design of the wedding bed. And before getting married, each girl had to make a rag ball (shelgu), which she gave to the children for games. From women's work No one, neither boyars nor princely daughters, was exempted from preparing their dowry. On the contrary, the nicknames “netkaha” and “slobber” were among the most offensive for teenage girls.
A list of the dowry was necessarily compiled, which, when transporting things to the husband’s house, was kept by the bride’s mother and the matchmaker. The groom also had a hard time; there was such a thing as buying the bride’s dowry, or veno. With such a payment, the husband ensured the integrity of his wife's dowry in the event of his early death.
Collecting the wedding dowry
It is clear that now we are not talking about hand-embroidered towels and bed linen - everything can be bought ready-made, but not everyone knows what to buy. By the way, about making a dowry with your own hands, if the wedding is national, then this can happen. For example, the Kazakh bride's dowry necessarily includes about 5 korpe and korpeshe - homemade blankets and mattresses. If the wedding does not have a pronounced national character, then brides can easily get by with purchased analogues.
So, what is included in a modern bride's trousseau? The list of things can be quite large; in general, the bride can take whatever she sees fit. But it’s nice to have a place in the dowry for the following things.
- Bed sheets. Bedroom decoration is undoubtedly important, but what is its center? Of course, the marital bed. So by turning on bed sheets as a dowry, you can create the right mood for your spouse.
- Underwear, nightgown (pajamas), robe. These things will also help set the mood for your husband, so when choosing them, make sure that everything is beautiful and quite sexy.
- Bath towels. You will need bath towels, matching hand towels and waffle or linen towels for guests.
- Tablecloths, napkins. It will be useful to take 2-3 tablecloths, and multi-colored ones, to match the tablecloth, linen napkins. The need to set the table may arise long before the first family hike to the store, so it’s better to prepare in advance so as not to lose face in front of your guests.
- Dinnerware. When purchasing it, look not only at beauty, but also at practicality. As a last resort, you can take 2 sets - for everyday use, and for holidays.
Why do you need to give a dowry for a bride?
A dowry is certain valuables or property that is allocated by the bride's parents for her marriage. IN modern world Such traditions have undergone dramatic changes, but have not yet disappeared. So why do they give a dowry for the bride?
Even in the writings of ancient times there are references to dowries. In those years, girls from rich families married in order to complement their husband. At the same time, the main purpose of ancestral beauties was to continue the lineage of two families. By giving a good dowry for their daughter, parents thus lured noble husbands, and also made sure that their children were provided with everything necessary when the time will come, move to another house. In addition, a dowry was considered a kind of “payment” to a man for the fact that he undertakes to keep his wife in security and prosperity, because old times The newlyweds immediately after the wedding moved to the house of the husband's family.
In Russian families, collecting a dowry began from the very birth of a girl. As a rule, the mother was involved in this matter, and after growing up, the daughter herself helped her. The amount of the dowry subsequently became the main selection criterion future wife: the more it is, the more advantageous the girl looks, and the more candidates there are for husbands. Girls from poor families did not have a dowry, and were called dowryless, which meant they had very little chance of getting married. The bride's dowry was talked about without hiding the truth, and sometimes even flaunted in order to attract potentially profitable suitors.
The dowry of poorer families included household items: linen, bed dress, clothing, kitchen utensils, etc. More noble families supplemented all of the above with a certain amount of money or precious materials. The bride's dowry was placed in a huge chest, which was kept until the wedding day, when the bride's parents brought or brought valuable goods to the door of the future husband's house, sat on it, and urgently demanded a ransom.
Somewhat later, the bride's dowry gradually transformed into cash equivalent, family jewelry, real estate and movable property. Thus, a bride with a rich dowry had the opportunity to acquire a socially significant status when marrying a husband of an impoverished but noble family. With the help of marriage, a kind of symbiosis was created that effectively united title and property. In the modern world, the very concept of a “bride’s dowry,” as well as the traditions of its transmission, are gradually disappearing.
Konstantin Makovsky
What should a bride not do at a traditional Russian wedding?
Weddings in Rus' have always been treated as a special, sacred ritual. No wonder there was a whole "system" wedding signs and superstitions, including numerous taboos. They especially concerned the behavior of the bride at the wedding. Some of them are still being observed today.
Wedding rings
It is not advisable to wear an old ring (for example, one that previously belonged to someone) to a wedding. The bride should not buy the rings herself, the groom should do it. Rings purchased for a wedding are strictly prohibited from being given to anyone to try on. And it doesn’t matter - before or after the wedding. An exception may be small children. They can give rings to the young.
Can't drop wedding ring. This is for divorce. If this happens, you must immediately thread a thread through the ring - then all the negativity will transfer to it. After the wedding ceremony, the thread must be burned with the words: “Drive away all my troubles and sorrows with fire.”
After the newlyweds put on the rings, none of them should take the empty plate, pillow or box where they were lying. It's better if he takes her unmarried girlfriend the bride or the groom's unmarried friend.
Wedding outfit
The bride's outfit should not be separate: say, a separate skirt and corset. This means that family life will be “separate.”
Iron Wedding Dress maybe only the mother of the bride. The groom should not see the bride in him until wedding ceremony. Until the wedding or marriage registration at the registry office, the bride should not see herself in the mirror in a wedding dress from head to toe. If you really need to, you can look at yourself in the mirror in an “incomplete” outfit - say, without gloves, or in a dress, but without a veil. It is impossible for the outfit to include pearls - this will lead to the tears of the future wife.
On the wedding day, no one should be allowed to correct the bride. wedding dress. This can only be done by someone from close relatives.
If during the wedding the bride drops her scarf, she will remain a widow.
Shoes
The bride should not wear it on her wedding day new shoes. You can buy shoes in advance and wear them a couple of times before the celebration. This ritual helps to bring good luck into the family.
God forbid, if the bride breaks her heel, it will lead to trouble. family life.
Wedding or registration
Married people cannot be invited as witnesses. During the wedding or registration procedure, the newlyweds must stay close at all times so that no one can pass or stand between them.
Road to the wedding
U superstitious people it is believed that going from a church or registry office to wedding banquet Under no circumstances should you take the direct route. They say that evil spirits can harm young people. Therefore, you need to choose the most confusing route, then the evil spirits will be deceived.
Present
If you were given knives or forks for your wedding, it is better to refuse such a gift. As a last resort, you can pay a nominal fee for it.
At the table
Young people should not approach the wedding table clockwise. The bride and groom should not sit on chairs at the wedding table. There should be a bench for them, and they can only sit on it.
Young people should drink wine from glasses to the last drop. If something remains at the bottom, it means tears.
The bride should not let anyone cut the cake - she should do it herself. The groom is only allowed to hold the knife. The first piece goes to the bride, the second to the groom, and the third to the guests.
Bridal bouquet
The bride should not let go of the bouquet given to her by the groom all day until the wedding is over. It is believed that if you let go of the bouquet, family happiness will fly away. As an exception, you can give the bouquet to either the groom or the mother to hold. On wedding table You can put it in a vase in front of you and take it with you in the evening. But you shouldn’t throw a bouquet to your girlfriends - this is not a Russian custom at all.
After the wedding
After a wedding in Rus', a young wife was not supposed to enter the house with her own feet - the husband had to take her in his arms and carry her over the threshold. It was believed that then there would be advice and love in the family, and the husband would carry his wife in his arms all his life.
In 1714, Peter I continued the policy of limiting parental authority regarding the composition of the dowry. By allowing real estate to be given to only one, eldest, child in the family, the decree infringed on the right of parents to determine the content of the dowry themselves. Only with the abolition of this restriction in 1731 did the state cease to interfere with the maintenance of the dowry and left the solution to this issue to the will of the parents. In addition, instead of patrimony and estate, the concept of immovable estate was introduced, which began to be given as a dowry.
At the time of marriage, the groom had to arrange for his wife's dowry. In the 16th century registration of the dowry for the grooms took place without participation government agencies. The state then demanded payment of a fee for the completed transaction.
Special order existed in the right to dispose of the wife's estate. When making a transaction of this kind, the wife had to sign on the document, otherwise the estate was to be returned to the wife's relatives after the death of the latter. The law, however, did not provide for such a case when a wife could be subjected to coercion by her husband.
If a husband committed a crime for which he was sentenced to confiscation of property, then his wife’s dowry could not be included in his property. After the marriage ended, the widow was given back her dowry estate. If the husband exchanged it, then the wife received from the husband’s property the exact amount of her land allotment.
So, in preparation for the wedding, the bride was given a dowry. The legislator did not limit the circle of persons who have the right to provide a dowry to the bride, taking into account the specifics of each situation. Most often, the dowry was provided by the parents. In the absence of parents, their role was played by brothers, relatives, and in-laws of the bride. The line could be written on behalf of the bride, if it was not her first time getting married. In addition, in exceptional cases this role was assumed by the sovereign.
Since 1714, the wife's dowry becomes her independent property, which she enjoys without the participation of her husband. Therefore, the size and content of the dowry now mattered only to the wife. New law did not and could not solve two main problems arising from the right to give dowries to daughters. The law never established or limited the size of the dowry. IN this issue main meaning consisted of an agreement between the interested parties. Therefore, the amount of the dowry could not be disputed by the daughter even after the death of the father.
Another problem was that, having received a dowry, the wife nevertheless continued to be subject to coercion by her husband in the right to dispose of her property. The husband’s actions were not of a legal nature, but were based on the power of the head of the family. The law did not encourage these actions, and the owner of the property was under the legal protection of state authorities.
A marriage proposal is a wonderful touching moment for a young girl and guy. At this time, lovers think only about their feelings and experiences. However, caring for each other should be shown not only romantically, but also material side. Living under the wing of their parents, young people often do not notice the many necessary household items that surround them. Therefore, it is customary to collect some equipment to help newlyweds in order to facilitate their first steps in new life.
What is the first thing an inexperienced young family will need? What bride's dowry will certainly be useful in family life? This issue needs to be thoroughly understood.
What is a dowry for a bride
The meaning of the ancient word dowry speaks eloquently for itself. Of course, this means giving the girl something for her new life, adding things to her wedding gifts and money. The dowry for the newlywed consists of items designed to make her life easier as a housewife and provide her with comfort young husband, create an atmosphere of well-being in the home.
Our intelligent ancestors began to carefully put away things from the birth of a girl, and by the time of her wedding, an impressive amount of luggage accumulated. In the modern age, some very busy parents prefer to purchase a dowry quickly, literally in a couple of days at the nearest supermarket.
A wonderful tradition is storage antiques: rare porcelain, jewelry, vintage souvenirs. Antiques are always in price, and the young wife will need these things not only as a touching memory, but also as a reserve for difficult periods life. Well, the essentials, bed linen, dishes, bathrobes, must be on the list of things to pack for the bride.
What was included in the dowry of the ancient Slavs
The collection of necessary household belongings, called dowry since ancient times, has been carried out since the time Kievan Rus. The ritual was strictly observed, even if the family lived modestly. The lack of a starting supply of things was considered shameful, and such brides risked remaining forever as old maids. Hence the popular expression dowryless, that is, a hopeless and unclaimed girl.
The size of the bride's dowry varied depending on the income of the parents. There was a standard generally accepted range of things, which included: pillows, blankets, feather beds, frying pans and pots, kitchen towels.
Good quality The young girl was expected to take care of her own well-being. Conscientious girls had their own treasured chests, where they kept woven household items and clothing made with my own hands. Usually these were knitted napkins, nightgowns decorated with embroidery, and homespun tablecloths. Also, parents and the bride should have taken care of ritual gifts for future relatives. The young ladies made beautiful scarves, elegant belts, embroidered towels.
Many needlewomen could create their own wedding dress, embroidering the most complex patterns and ornaments for years. Preparation of the marriage bed also lay on the shoulders of the young girl. Decorated with filigree script, characteristic of the Russian nation, bed linen was prepared in advance. Interesting fact that Russian young women also sewed original toys for future children: rag dolls, balls. All girls of premarital age wove, sewed and embroidered; this was considered the main occupation of bored brides. Representatives of the noble and landowner classes were also not exempt from the difficult manual labor. Careless girls who did not carefully collect dowries were rewarded offensive nickname netkaha.
What is noteworthy is that it was necessary to compile detailed list for mother-in-law. The groom's responsibility was to pay an amount of money equivalent to the bride's dowry, a guarantee in the event of his death. The groom's parents allocated land, which he owned in half with his young wife. If young man had the official status of a merchant, tradesman or nobleman, it also passed to the girl after the wedding.
Modern trousseau for the bride
All traditions are sooner or later forgotten or modified. Nowadays, dowries are collected less and less often, as modern youth are guided by different principles. Newlyweds dream of buying new, modernized items; they look with bewilderment at old-style gizmos: outdated carpets, aluminum kettles. And if young people leave, they sometimes even refuse to take extra luggage with them.
Sometimes couples are planning a wedding, and at the same time, an addition to the family is planned. And this is a huge additional expense item. The baby needs clothes, strollers, a crib, and food. In this case, parental emergency supplies will be very useful to ensure comfort: kitchen utensils, household appliances, saucepans, small furniture. And if a young family’s financial situation improves later, then you can always replace old utensils and household items.
Along with material values, parents must transfer moral capital to the young girl: teach the bride to be kind, caring, to show affection and attention. Don’t forget that a woman’s way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. A young wife should be able to cook a basic set of dishes and a few original ones; the rest of the experience will come over the years.
A working wife is not bad, but time for family should also be allocated. At the beginning of marriage, it is advisable to take up an easier job or a hobby that brings profit. Then the young wife will have time for both her husband and children.
Bed sheets
Young newlyweds, of course, are full of passion and love, so the bedroom is a special place for them. The bed should be neat and comfortable. The traditional set is a couple of double sets of beautiful colors, a mattress cover, fluffy blanket for cold evenings and a light, delicate blanket. If the bride's mother took care of these things when collecting the dowry, then the newlyweds will only be grateful to her.
Underwear
An important component strong marriage is the wife's impeccability in the home. This includes cleanliness in the house and the attractiveness of a young girl. A young lady should have an exquisite underwear. For sleeping, you need to have beautiful pajamas or negligees, for household chores - stylish casual sets of clothes: tops with shorts, house dresses fashionable styles. A girl should always look feminine, just like before the wedding. The ideal appearance of a young wife is her trump card in family life, for which much is forgiven in everyday life.
Bath towels
Without bath accessories V Everyday life there's simply no way around it. High-quality towels are not cheap, and young people will appreciate such help. Each family member requires a minimum of two towels for showering and bathing. For daily use, you need several towels for your hands and feet. In addition, it would be very wise to stock up on a couple of new large and small towels for guests, and to improve the kitchen space, 5-6 pieces of cotton items are enough for a daily change. Woven towels decorated with national symbols will delight the soul of the young housewife and create a pleasant mood.
Dishes
Family meals are pleasant moments rapprochement, communication of newlyweds. None public places will not replace homemade baked goods, baked meat, or fresh vegetable salad. Therefore, it is advisable to include pots in the bride’s dowry. different volumes of 4 pieces and 2-3 frying pans. And of course, you need a kettle: electric, mechanical, and for gourmet dishes in the oven - molds and baking sheets.
Dinnerware
Dinnerware in an ordinary home consists of dozens of items. For a young housewife, for the first time it will be enough to acquire a set of forks, spoons, and table knives for 4-5 people for daily use. You also need to have several deep, dessert and small plates and bowls. For tea, coffee, juice and wine, ready-made sets of glasses, cups and saucers, glasses, and wine glasses are purchased. Necessary in everyday life and cutting boards, large knives, meat hammers. As for items for desserts and baked goods, they are purchased later, according to possibilities and desires.
Appliances
Household appliances are essential items. Not every bride's dowry contains a refrigerator and washing machine. If the parents’ income is modest, such household items can be ordered for guests as wedding gift. The minimum equipment includes a refrigerator, microwave oven, automatic washing machine, and vacuum cleaner. All other items household appliances can be acquired over the course of a long family life.
There comes a time in the life of any girl when a guy takes a serious step in a relationship - he proposes to live together. Joy overwhelms both lovers, but there is also a second side to the coin. This is not only the financial responsibility of a young couple, distribution of expenses, constant care for each other, but also starting clothing capital, which you cannot do without even on the first day of arrival in new apartment or home. For modern girls It is not necessary to decide on a wedding, so the bride’s dowry becomes no more than essentials. Let's figure out what it consists of.
What is a bride's dowry?
Things that fill the joint home of young people, create comfort, warm atmosphere- this is the bride’s dowry. The word comes from the verbs “add”, “add”, which is quite clear without additional explanation. Grandmothers and mothers began collecting dowries from birth future bride, although now, having money, they buy it in a couple of days. Last option not very economically profitable and thought out for young girls: the currency tends to grow rapidly, something will be forgotten, not always everything is in one hypermarket.
It’s great if the bride’s family honors this long-standing tradition, keeps special souvenirs and cozy home decor that will certainly come in handy. A young girl will need a dowry in any conditions, even if she decides to live separately from her parents. So, collecting kitchen utensils, bedding, underwear and a couple of dozen other necessary things is the duty of mom, dad and grandmothers.
What was included in the dowry of the ancient Slavs?
A girl's dowry is a long-standing tradition that came from Kievan Rus. It directly depended on material support parents, but even if the family was not rich, minimum set should have existed. The dowry included: wedding attire, jewelry, kitchen utensils, bedding, including a blanket, towels and towels. If the future bride did not have such “baggage,” then it was believed that she would remain a lonely virgin.
Young girls took this moment so seriously that from an early age they began to prepare their own dowries. For this purpose there was a special chest where they put homemade napkins, tablecloths, shirts with patterned embroidery. The bride had to prepare her wedding attire, embroider and decorate many tabletops and towels. An important part of the dowry were embroidered towels and belts - they were considered gifts for the future groom and his family.
The wedding bed had to be decorated by the bride herself, taking into account national motifs and symbols. Before the wedding, the girl had to sew a rag ball, which she would then give to the children for fun games. The ritual of collecting a dowry was mandatory in any family. Girls of merchants or boyars, princes or villagers, no one was exempt from hand-made tailoring. “Netkakha” was an offensive nickname for a young bride.
At the time of transport of the dowry, a special list was compiled, which was given to the mother and matchmaker for safekeeping. The groom couldn't get away with just one wedding. He had to buy the dowry, according to the bride's list, to ensure the safety of his wife's belongings in the event of an early death. The groom's property included a land plot and status, which automatically passed to the girl after the wedding.
Modern trousseau for the bride
The world is changing, traditions are being forgotten. Every day they think less about a dowry, and remember only when the time comes to get married or live together. Is it correct? You decide. There are two sides to the coin. The first one is positive. When young people begin to live together, the purchase of a dowry to create an individual life will come from them. These will not be old unnecessary carpets or Soviet teapots. And if the bride meets her future husband in another city or country, then transporting things there is not the best solution.
The other side is negative. A joint decision to live together often coincides with unplanned pregnancy girls, then the problems begin. You need to buy not only a crib, diapers, clothes, a stroller for the baby, but also a dowry - kitchen utensils, household appliances for the young. Also the bride's wedding dress! Financial difficulties inevitable in this case for both families. If you have an initial dowry, it will provide you with comfort for the first time, and later you will furnish the apartment yourself.
An ideal option for a young girl if she already works or is engaged in a favorite hobby that brings in a good income. Then the bride is not tied to an 8-hour schedule and easily combines earnings with household responsibilities and childcare. Modern parents must form not only a material, but also a spiritual dowry for their daughter, including moral values, the ability to care, show affection, care for loved ones. Knowing how to cook is also not an easy task, which the bride should learn with early years. What does the minimum dowry of a modern girl contain?
Bed sheets
When young people start living together, the most visited place in the house is the bed, isn't it? To spend time there comfortably, you need to have a comfortable, medium-hard mattress the size of the bed, a mattress pad, two or three bedding sets (sheets, pillowcases, duvet cover), pillows, a winter blanket, a summer blanket, a cozy blanket. This list looks solid, but in reality, a young couple will need all the things. As you can see, it is better for the bride to purchase this in advance than during one trip to the store.
Underwear
My husband is not in a good mood when the food is ready in the kitchen and the house is perfectly clean. Home comfort will not replace the beauty of a bride or wife, which must be shown every day favorable light to your loved one. Take it as a natural dowry, decorating yourself with beautiful underwear– lace chemises, revealing busts and panties, exquisite robes, flirty pajamas. You should look not like a tortured housewife, but like the standard of a bride in the eyes of your man! Don’t forget about this dowry, and then small mistakes in cleaning will be forgiven.
Bath towels
Without daily water procedures no one gets by, so a dowry in the form of towels is a must. How many of them will a young couple need? At least 2 baths for each spouse or cohabitant, several for hands, separately for feet, and don’t forget about guests. The kitchen also needs your dowry, so allocate 5 linen towels for it. If your family adheres national traditions, then the bride has the right to use embroidered towels as decoration.
Dishes
Having moved into a new apartment for the first time, the bride will first need to feed her beloved young man a delicious dinner. Not everyone can afford daily trips to restaurants. Even noble men love it when women cook for them themselves, putting their soul into it. The choice of dish is yours, but what should you use to cook it in? You will need a trousseau of 4 pans different sizes, you will need to not only cook soup; 3 frying pans – a pancake pan, a large one for entertaining guests, a medium one – for dinner for two. Brides, don’t forget about the kettle and baking dishes for pies, fish, meat, and baking cupcakes.
Dinnerware
It is advisable that girls have 2 sets of tableware in their dowry. One for everyday use for 4-6 people, the second for special events. These are cups, tablespoons and teaspoons, forks, flat and deep plates, bowls, saucers, glasses for soft drinks, wine glasses, shot glasses. The girls' dowry should have a set of several knives - for meat, fish, bread, vegetables. No one can do without wooden boards. Small parts like silicone brushes and pastry syringes are not purchased immediately.
Appliances
Not every bride has the luxury of having a spare refrigerator or stove. This question is raised individually in the family of future spouses. If there is a wedding the day before, the girl’s dowry in the form of household appliances can be easily formed using a list of gifts. Guests will be happy to provide necessary and necessary things, so the wedding will make your financial expenses a little easier. For the first time, the young couple will need a dowry - a refrigerator, a conventional and microwave oven, a mixer, washing machine, vacuum cleaner, laptop or PC. TV, water heater, air conditioner are purchased later.