Find out relationships with friends. Finding out relationships - the way to negotiate or the opportunity to look at the true face of the partner? Carefully with the future
Let's look truth in the eyes - we all love short paths. We like it when everything goes easily. Both in work, money and in relationships.
Many of us often take them as a matter of course. Not even guessing thatthe relationship between a man and a woman is what should work carefully.
If this is not done, you can get into the trap of "lazy" relations, which simply exist, instead of thriving and make both partners happy.
And now answer honestly, how are you doing with this? You may have been meeting or married for several years. This is not so important.
More important than others. If your feelings are sincere, the desire to become closer to a manTo know and understand it - a completely natural phenomenon. And in no case should it be ignored.
Otherwise, at a certain point you will understand that your relationship has become "lazy" and no longer brings forge.
How to dodeeper
Pretty many couples prefer to ignore the small troubles arising from day to day on the principle of "hiding garbage under the carpet."
Here they are, but we covered them - and it seems to be already there!Why find out the relationship if you can just pretend that nothing was and everything is fine again? So it is impossible to develop the relationship between a man and a woman.
All relationships begin with a gradual study of each other . During this period often happen small quarrels On the soil of mutual misunderstanding.And this is normal.
After all, this is one of the ways to understand what kind of person is actually your partner, and how to make your relationship deeper.
It is important during this period to learn to solve emerging problems, and not to hide them "under the carpet." But there is another way to deepeningrelationship between a man and a womanand the establishment of mutual understanding.
It's incredible but even30 minutes a week allocated to this event, can properly develop relationships with a guy and a girl.
Do not trust? Try only once And you will see what it will work out.If you do not like it, no one can make you do it again.
But such an exercise will be able to translate your relationship from the state of the existence of "lazy relationships" on.
As a result, you will no longer be a temptation to hide the "trash under the carpet" and leave problems with unresolved. You will learn to minimize them.
So, here are those 9 questions that will help makerelationship between a man and a woman Deeper if they ask them to each other and honestly answer them.
- Can I do so that you felt even more comfortable with me?
This is an excellent question that can be asked both in relation to your pastime, personal communication and in relation to intimate proximity.
Ask what he wants. What he is especially nice when he is next to you.Maybe a few minutes silently lie down, deeply inhaling your fragrance.Or he needs an embrace, as an expression of love.Or enough establishment summary contact "eyes to eyes".
- Is our sex life satisfied with you?
But you should not directly ask a man's question, whether his joint sexual life is satisfied.Better try sometimes carefully to bring it to the topic of novelty in your common sex life.
Interested in what else he also wanted to try what he was interested.Also offer your options. Surely, you also have desires on this.
It is important to remember that this question is appropriate to ask ifrelationship between a man and a woman Already switched to.
If you are just starting to meet, it is not relevant. It is better to postpone it for the future.
- How can I support you in life better?
In principle, there is probability that everything suits him. But it happens quite rarely.Therefore, in most cases, this question can hook the desired strings in your soul of your partner and awaken in it the desire to tell about their desires.
Maybe it will be something simple, but a little unusual kind of: "I want the reason for each of my awakening in the morning there was a sweet kiss from you. It really can lift me a mood for a whole day. "
It can be something more.
For example, "even though we agreed that we will prepare in turn, but I have a hard week at work and most likely you will have to stay and returned to it for a long time.Could you take over the cooking dinner at this time? "
As a result, the relationship between a man and a woman becomes much stronger and stronger After each such case mutual assistance.
- Didn't I accidentally do something that was unpleasant to you?
The answer of your man on this question may well surprise you.For example, you thought there was everything beautiful between you. But after the conversation, the moments were flooded, which were not always pleasant for your man. Be careful.Listen and do not interrupt.
If your partner decides to answer this question, it will be a bold act. After all, by his story about what exactly from your actions has caused him pain than he is disappointed, he can cause some pain to you.
It can be very difficult for him to lay out all the finishes.After that, sincerely thank him for the revelation and ask for forgiveness, if you feel the guilt or awkwardness.
You can promise to be corrected and no longer allow. Your man will be nice.
- How do I behave when you come home from work?
Of course, it is not necessary to directly ask this question. But you can carefully bring the man to the answer to it.
Why do you need it? A man may want something concrete, what you will never guess yourself. What is important for him for both a man.
Maybe he wants you to be interested in how he spent the day at work.Or maybe he needs to rest a little morally, and the best one for him after a difficult working day will be half an hour of absolute silence.
By completing this request, you're still a few steps to approach the understanding of its inner world.
By the way, from this question you could seem what I describe which sits at home, waiting for his arrival.This is not quite so.
You remember that I still recommended to ask these questions to each other?
For example, how to raise you mood at the end heavy dayIf you also work.
How to behave with a man: What motivates him to be with you:
- Is there a kind of physical contact that will help you feel more beloved?
Now we are talking not only about the types. sexual contact (We have already spoken above).
Perhaps there is some physical proximityHe is missing.Maybe he loves when you play with his hair. Or he likes when you approach and hug him from behind.
Options can be set, because each individual relationship between a man and a woman Unique. And in order to know about them, you just need to ask.And then it is more likely to implement them.
- Are we relatively close (from his point of view)?
Our individual needs may change day by day.Maybe your partner has succumbed to serious stress all week and now he needs more care, compliments and support.
Or, on the contrary, he is now rapidly rising through the career ladder, constantly busy and he needs more free time and personal space.
The request for greater independence does not mean that he has become less to love you, but about the caress and care that he is weak. Just people have emotional needswhich are due to the presence of various events in their lives.
And the better you will learn to please such needs and tell him about your own, the deeper your relationship will become.
- Do you have experiences because of which you experience stress? Can I help you cope with them?
The answer to this question will make it possible to understand what problems he has to face.
It can be unpleasant for both of both of you, but otherwise you will not be able to understand it and help.You can rephrase the question so that it sounds softer and more appropriate.
All that falls under the category "How can I be useful to you in your case?" Adds depthrelations between a man and a woman.
- What topics and in what situations are you hard to talk? How can I support you during these moments?
This question can be asked every couple of months.Each person has its own cockroaches in the head, which make him feel vulnerable in various situations.
Maybe he is very uncomfortable when you cite him publicly, let it even in a joke.Or he emotionally closes when you start discussing the topic of sex.
Perhaps some failure in the bedroom happened, because of what he feels extremely embarrassed and ashamed.No need to "climb into the soul" and ask him answers to these questions, as in question. Try to learn his desires from the position of love and respect for him as a man.
The most effective way to clean up in relationships
I do not want you to seem to be that I recommend round the clock to focus on solving all the problems of your partner. He himself should be interested in developing relationships with a girl.
In no case! Let me remind once again that it is just a tool that will help you better understand each other.
In addition, you should not ask all questions at a time. Evaluate the situation and choose the most suitable.
For some of them, he will give more detailed answers, to others - less. Several questions can generally ignore, because it will consider inappropriate to respond to them. Take it. Give your man's time.
These questions make it possible to start a dialogue inside the pair, the presence of which few people boast. Exactly relationship between a man and a woman They are transferred to a completely different, qualitatively new level.
Many things you can hide "under the carpet." Butthese 9 questions are the most indispensable tools that will help extract everything, even the smallest troubles.
Get rid of all accumulated "garbage" to make you a truly close and happy couple.
I believe that you will succeed!And one more thing: do you know that you can always count on my support and tips?
Write)
Self interesting articles Yaroslav Samoilova:
"Cutely worry - only trembling," says folk wisdom. Yes, and according to experts, periodic quarrels are needed by each pair - to shake and at the same time check for strength of the relationship. However, such bursts of emotions are far from all to taste, especially if a close person speaks in the hearts of such that then remains in memory for life. The explosion of emotions is the last drop, which overflowing the bowl of patience. That is why it is necessary to immediately discuss any little things that you are not satisfied, without bringing yourself to the inner "boiling". And, to speak or argue, too, it is necessary to constructively, without disturbing the rules below - in the case is Family life will not be burdened by cargo unspoken offensive and claims.Be understanding
The first thing that is worth mentioning is a quarrel that are born as a result of the "nerves" caused by which is usually not a partner itself, but fatigue, trouble, poor health, etc. At the same time, men are more likely to be closed in themselves, and women, on the contrary, love to "be happy about it." And no matter what it is important, it will be just a transition to elevated tones, topman legs or beating dishes - both loving halm It is important to understand that a person simply loses control over himself, and does not do it with evil - therefore it is not necessary to be offended and carried out to the provocation. It is better to just surround her care and help relax. As for the Men's severely populated in the corner, but statistics show: it is not necessary to touch it and ask until he himself decides its problems. Better to do it active recreation - Soon in his head, everything will decompose on the shelves, and he again shines Ilyich's light bulb. And the main thing - he will not have a neural connection between the troubles and the beloved woman (yes, there are even whole trainings on "How to conquer a man with positive associations," forgive us, forgive me like Dogachek Pavlov). And your loved one will know that you appreciate his right to personal space. In general, it is always important to be someone from two wisers.
Gather with thoughts
As we said to preserve the proximity and trust in the pair, you need to discuss your relationship. Suppose something does not suit you in a partner - try before talking to choose the arguments to make you what to answer on counter questions or statements. After all, your task to improve overall picture family life - So, you need not just criticize the partner, but help him understand your point of view. At the same time, if you criticize you, do not hurry to parry the lunge (always time), but better listen to the words of the charge - maybe they are quite valid? The sky does not fall to the ground, to honestly and calmly agree with the partner - he does not expect that you are ideal, but just wants to be listened and understood. And the frankness will only add an extra score.
Organize the conversation correctly
Choose suitable time and place and do not start serious talk at the table (again - reflexes, reflexes!), Before bedtime or when a partner is in a hurry - mentally it is already there, and one should not distract a person from visualization own plans. The same applies to the presence of outsiders - it is impossible to quarrel or discuss some personal moments for children ( psychological problems And then they will be depressed), relatives (you want to listen to the teachings?) Or in the company of friends (the topic for conversations at least a week). And if it does not seem wrong, then the partner is simply sure - after all, it is in fact it looks like a children's yabedanica: "I'll tell you everything that you are bad." Such public "performances" are perceived very acute and painfully, and most often give birth to a new offense.
What should I say?
Classic refraiming can save even the most opposite situation! Replace the semi-empty glass half full - and the picture is completely changed. We are accustomed to saying with dry theses, providing the interlocutor to independently draw conclusions, and do not even notice this. Salt (and pepper!) Is that the partner is rare when it can draw conclusions identical to your own! So why play "salts" with each other? No need to state bad thing (a person himself knows about it), no need to say that this act is "bad" (he himself guesses himself), - and explain why you really spoke about it! After all, you are not concerned about the fact that the partner, for example, was delayed and did not call. In fact, or experienced whether it happened to him what, or that he spent with someone else time spent more pleasant. And a person maybe just twisted ... Replace the claims on a description of your condition: Tell us what you are worried, feel bad, feel bad when it happens. Let the partner not "listening" to you, and "hear." I understood the problem, the man himself will start looking for ways to solve it. Do not accuse your tone - you trust your loved one? Try to talk calmly, without pouring oil into the fire (see paragraph 1).
What not to talk?
"The word is not a sparrow, caress - you can't catch." A storm in a glass of water subsides, and an angry exposure phrase, offensive for the interlocutor, will remain between two people. Sometimes it happens that the word broke out, and you immediately regretted about what was said - do not waste time, because if I immediately "take it back" and ask for forgiveness, it can still be neutralized (a week later a person doesn't remember him - so our arranged head). Even at the most insulting attacks, do not appeal with the arguments that a person entrusted you "in secret", in a rush of unlimited trust and warmth to you - otherwise a partner, at least, will no longer be frank with you.
How to say?
Do not move on the trait of disrespect - it concerns sarcasm and other sampling (they are only good in the good arrangement of the Spirit). Even if the partner behaves stupid, you do not need to talk to him as a child - how you yourself guess, horribly angry! It is impossible to compare a person with more successful or "good" in any sense of people - each of the individuality, and we live not for the ratings of tabloid, which would not say there. In fact, people whom the comparison is not in favor of them will net to some kind of accomplishments, not so much - most of the majority falls self-esteem, and completely no need to force her half to assert its side. Demonstrative "I am not listening to you," ignoring, care from the interlocutor is also forbidden by acceptances, because instead of solving the problem only aggravate it.
Click on the pause
Blops flew along the Zakulochkam, the crystal ranked and the plaster was tremended. You do not want to see each other. Everything is bad, and I do not want to live. But there is a way out: get off! For the next 5-10 hours you absolutely free manwhich goes for a walk where your eyes look. Thoughts somewhere very far, arbitrarily coming and without demand leaving. Try to disconnect from everything and concentrate only on yourself - allow yourself a few hours of absolute egoism. Soon all the problems will go to the background, hisoid words "Suit", and you can soberly assess the situation and your next steps. As a rule, an understanding of the absurdity of what happened and the desire to laugh at their own guys is coming. And I also want to see a loved one again and say that you forgive everything in the world.
"I am writing to you ..."
Say your thoughts, experiences, feelings on paper - what can be clearer, visual and more efficient? If you want to explain without the risk to arrange a noisy battle, where there is a shootout with poorly buckled thoughts, write about it - and let the favorite half "digest" this information is most convenient for themselves - slowly, "with a feeling, with a tact, with an arrangement." People from the past epochs knew how to open their soul on paper, and these letters kept these letters close to the years ... In a word, be romantic and creative at the same time - it will definitely appreciate. And then, on paper it is much easier to apologize and draw conclusions after not easy conversation (although better later Bring each other apologies and verbal ways).
To find out the relationship is normal.
Another thing is the nature of these conversations. You can safely consult and discuss your relationship, telling a man that you feel when he comes in one way or another.
And can be different how real bitch - To tolerate, save discontent, and then, moving to the individual, to pour all his own ... He's on his head.
How to speak in relationships andhow to raise them to a new level?
There are simple, who will allow you to build harmonious relations. Claims lead resentment, disrespecting, inexpensive disassemble into large-scale disassembly.
How to talk to a man so that he heard you and reacted adequately? Of course, soft and female. But for this you need to be indefined condition.
there is 7 simple methods that allow you to find out the relationship, without dram and manipulation.
1. Rule of three points
No need to endure the brain from the threshold! Give a man to exhale after work. "The full hungry is not a comrade!", "Well done first to feed, drink, go to bed ..." - Even children's fairy tales indicate you the direction.
With a full, rested, satisfied man, you can talk. And it will give the result.
When there is a desire to figure it out quickly, think about it: will you be comfortable in his place and in such a situation? It's hard to put yourself in place of a man, and I can understand them.
Then just remember yourself after a sleepless night spent by the baby's bed or hungry and evil, disappointed due to the fact that the exam was picked up; How he said in bed: "Let's not today," when you wanted.
Introduced? In such a state, it is not that finding out the relationship - I don't want to live.
I haven't forgotten: I categorically prohibit all my students to find out the relationship in bed, it .
Nobody canceled the need for the pyramid.
Feed, let me relax and stick your man and any conversations are made much better than you think. A woman who behaves exactly like that -dream of any man.
2. Choose expressions
But back to the topic of "clarifying relationships".There are phrases that bring a man into a stupor. (drumroll): "We need to talk "or rustly" we urgently need to talk seriously! "
Deadlines in conversations and words like "you need" work is not in your favor. And, even worse, act on a man in a negative key. Because forget about them!
Try to say: "Cute, I really need to consult with you."
You will see: Your man will be free, or it will be very surprised if you begin to discuss relationships in such a tone.
3. Think head
Plan what and how you will tell a man. A hundred times think is really important what you are going to voice. Do you dislike your internal complexes and fears?
Do not be lazy, sketch the theses on paper. Some women, this exercise can embarrass. Plan a conversation with a man? Register a plan? Some kind of nonsense. But believe me, honey, - you don't even imagine how much garbage can be selected without even starting the conversation.
I am sure that this will help you to structure your thoughts, understand yourself better and convey your thoughts to the man most effectively.
4. Forget about manipulations
Remember one very much an important rule - What you radiate, then you get. And if you are configured to play with a man and manipulate it feelings, male qualities or decency, prepare for the subtletile from the Universe.
And even if you do not believe in the zero of justice, believe me for the word - manipulation will not be good for anything good for three reasons.
He will understand
Sooner or later, he will see what scheme you "work." Only imagine that he will think at this moment and will feel how sharply his attitude to you will change. Introduced? And still convinced that manipulations are ok?
You confuse
We get lost with maze of own manipulations and burn. If you have a drop of respect for the partner, beat your own nerves from such adventures and better learn to interact with him as a professional woman.
You will disappear
Manipulations over time lose their effect. Once, two, three, and for the tenth time a man just won't go about you. All came. You will be desperately rummaged in your chest with managing manuals, but in vain.
5. Speak about your feelings
Truly, magic technique! You are a woman, which means you just harmful to accumulate emotions. Learn to finally talk about your feelings!
"Dear, yesterday, when you, I just got confused and did not know how to behave."
You do not have to memorize the phrase, you need to learn how to express feelings through words. All world literature to help you! And remember that after the words "I feel" a man begins to understand you better.
They do not have complaints and criticism. You are not going to argue. You just formulate your emotions. And he sees you conscious and self-sufficient woman And knows what you trust him.
6. Carefully with the future
I will be extremely honest with you. Return to the third item and. Especially about your collaborative future. "When will we get married already?", "When do I feel to you?", "How many children do you want?" ... Without jokes, they strain and generally put a man in a dead end.
Hold your hand on the pulse and watch male behavior, for his attitude to you, for his actions. They always speak for themselves.
If it is beneficial from serious relationships or conversation on this topic, because he is confused, he has difficult period in life, etc., one option. He is Nishchebrhod. From him you need to run.
W. decent man There may also be problems and difficulties, but he will always give you to know what he wants to be near and cares about your pair as a whole.
7. More specifics
Specifications and clear arguments are important conditions in a dialogue with a man if you really want to convey our thought before him. Less waterMore meaning.
Men do not understand the hints. I want to voice it again. Write yourself anywhere:
Men. Do not understand. Hints. In any way.
Balance. Be concrete in your desires, but soft in tone conversation. Hold in the head points that you would like to talk to a man to ask the Council. At the same time look for an approach.
It is necessary first of all to you, and from such a competently built dialogue relationship only benefit.
Read?
And now write in the comments than usually you will end the clarification of a relationship with a man! He turns away to the wall, goes to sleep on the sofa or in the kitchen? How much after that you do not talk?
With faith in you
Yaroslav Samoilov.
Unfortunately, in which Idilly reigns, there are very and very rare. Most often idyll This visible: partners are silent, not wanting to offend each other, but the negative accumulates that ultimately leads to a rupture. Therefore, from time to time it is useful sort things out - But it is necessary to do it right.
Probably, many familiar saying "Cutely worry - only chop." Psychologists believe that periodic quarrels not only do not harm relationships, but even provide positive effect. However, you need to be able to be able to: Ideally, after a quarrel, both partners are not just put together, but also draw conclusions to prevent such situations further. Therefore, you need to learn to find out the relationship.
A quarrel is always the victory of emotions over the mind. But anyway it is impossible to allow emotions to take over you. In the heat of quarrels we are able to talk unpleasant things that do not really think. Therefore, try to control your words and not talk about what you can then regret. If you really need to somehow throw out your emotions, it is better to break a cup or a plate.
Also during a quarrel, you can not go to the individual And put the labels on the partner, call it. Evaluate not the personality of the partner, but his actions. Let's say instead of calling it mamienekin son, better tell me: "I am unpleasant that your mother's opinion is always more important for you." Or something like that.
At all, find out the relationship - does not mean insulting. Even if the conversation is done on elevated colors, you must not forget that now you are talking to your loved one who does not deserve insults on your part. You can be evil on it in this momentBut do not cease to love him from this, right? Therefore, do not bend a stick.
Is there some more a pair of "prohibited receptions", which in no case cannot be appliedIf you want to find out the relationship correctly. First, never use the information against the partner, which he shared with you frankly, showing confidence. Secondly, remember that the quarrel is only between you two: you do not need to register to this other people, saying nasty about relatives and friends of your partner.
Finding relationships need to be constructive. Often, clarifying relationships are developing according to the following scheme: they gnaw - they came down - they did not make any conclusions and again stepped on the same rake. Finding out relationships not only and not so much in order to spill the negative. It is very important to determine the cause of the quarrel and solve the resulting conflict.
To do this, it is necessary not just to express the partner anything that does not suit you, but to offer the desired solutions to the problem. Discuss everything and decide which options of both of the options. Be prepared for the fact that you will have to make a compromise: In something you will give way, in something you will give way to your partner, and as a result you will stop at the option, most acceptable for you both.
And even better, of course, at all do not bring to this conflict. Most quarrels happen because partners are afraid or do not know how to talk to each other. About what they do not like. They are silent, afraid to offend a partner, but over time, irritation accumulates, and the scandal is broken down. But do you really think that a quiet tone made a complaint offered a partner more than a loud scandal?
Another iron Rule Finding Relations: One can never find relations surrounded by other people familiar or unfamiliar - no matter. Agree that you will not quarrel at a party, in public places And so on. Get home, and already there swear as much as you like. By the way, perhaps, by this time you have time to grasp and you can figure out the relationship calmly. Also do not quarrel in bed and able alcoholic intoxication - There is nothing constructive in such quarrels.
So, the two main rules for finding out relationships: do not be afraid to do it and keep yourself in your hands. But even better learn to calmly discuss with a partner Everything that worries you / does not suit, and then to the clarification of relationships and parsing the flight, it will not make it easy. Remember mutual understanding and mutual respect - best friends strong relationships.
There is a common point of view, within which well pupil people Always need to be calm, causing and certainly never to find out relations with others.
If you are guided by these principles, it turns out that you do not seek to resolve the problems that are encountered when interacting with people around you, you simply suffer and do not allow yourself to show emotions that are invalid from the point of view of a significant society for you. # 8 fatal errors, who destroy marriage #
What a similar policy in relationships can lead to. This leads to a serious accumulation of the most unsolved problems, which cannot but be reflected in the personality of the person himself. Negative emotions, not finding out, most often begin to destroy the somatic sphere of vital activity - health.
In addition, it turns out that a person lives in the conflict himself with himself - because he is experiencing certain feelings, but they do not express them out loud. Moreover, often a person can convince others that experience completely different feelings. It turns out that a person simply lies himself, lies like others. Although, of course, a person does not perceive what is happening from the position of truth and lies.
Usually, such a silence of negative experiences leads to the gradual accumulation of negative, which in one day can lead to an affective (emotional) explosion. The consequences of such an explosion to predict is very difficult, so it's better not to bring yourself to such states And learn how to find out the relationship with people around us. Otherwise, we risk losing many of your surroundings.
Remember about three mandatory conditions
So, we agreed that it is simply necessary to find out the relationship. We are all adults. We can sit down, discuss existing problems and come to some consensus, make joint decisions. However, as often, it happens, a natural outcome of such gatherings are quarrels and strengthening of mutual discontent. It turns out that according to experts, before you are going to find out something with your marriage partner (no matter official or civil), you must make sure that three are observed the most important conditions. So to say the soil is prepared for further work.
First, all participants in the upcoming "parsing of flights" must be sufficiently rested and sleeping.
Secondly, it is very important that no one experienced feelings of hunger. Signals digestive system are a powerful distracting factor. A hungry man cannot properly focus and tries to commit all the affairs (especially with unpleasant) as soon as possible.
And finally, thirdly, both partners should be sexually satisfied.
If all these conditions are observed, then you can be sure that all the most obvious causes of irritation are removed, and they will not interfere with the truly existing joint problems.
Important training
Before rushing with fists on your partner, try to stay for a second and think about how to organize your conversation correctly.
Remember that fatigue, extraneous trouble, poor well-being is a bad background for important conversations.
If your partner requires finding out the relationship, and you are in such a negative background, then better explain to him why you do not want to discuss everything right now. Do not sleep silently and try to try from conversation. Tell me that you are afraid that under the influence poor well-being (irritation) can not speak calmly, and you really do not want to translate a constructive conversation to a banal quarrel.
Knowing that you have to condemn any problems, try to prepare for a conversation in advance. Make a list of questions that you would like to discuss, think about what your partner could ask you, and that you can answer to argue your position. The presence of weighty arguments always looks better than simple: "I want it so much."
The main thing, try not to criticize, do not go to the individual who degrading the dignity of your interlocutor. Well, if the criticism rolls into your address, then be wiser of the majority, do not try to be offended immediately and go into meaningless prosperity. Try to listen to what you are told. Maybe in these words will be the share of truth. In this case, it will be very unexpected and great if you agree at least something with a partner - this will allow you to earn the most advantages.
Highly an important point When finding out the relationship is, in which place is your conversation. Do not try to start a conversation while eating Il during fees and hurry. At these moments, a person thinks about other things, and you may seem that he disseminally refers to what is important for you. In no case, do not find out the relationship in the presence of someone third, especially if this third is a child. Such an exhibition of your problems, likely, will most likely cause misunderstanding from your partner.
What can and what can not talk
Before talking, try formulating what "hanging" in the language. Instead of accuse in something partner, it seems to you think only naked facts, try to explain to him why you are so worried about the current situation. Talk to the interlocutor in the language of feelings. If your spouse was delayed, it is not necessary to pour off unequivocally suspicions, because he could really have reasons for the delay.
However, a man can not elementary not to understand why you worry. Most likely he decides that you do not trust him. In this case, you can simply explain that you have experienced whether it happened to anyone with your chosen one that you would be calmer if your man warned on time possible delay. Warned - armed, and therefore will not be excessive unrest and experiences that could lead to a quarrel.
But what then can not be told when finding out relationships? It is very important at the same time not to go beyond mutual courtesy, go to insults and screams. Worst if you throw the information as the arguments that your partner entrusted to you as near man. This is especially true of information related to the weaknesses and past errors of your partner. IN best case A person will just be offended for a long time on you, and at worst - will cease to trust you.
Do not cross the borders
Let's talk about respect. Respect - very important characteristic Relationships of partners. It is not worth exploring the relationship to aggravate the business of excessive sarcasm and sharp pads. Even if you think that your interlocutor tells nonsense, it's not worth it clearly to demonstrate. A person will only get angry and will not be able to think objectively. It is undesirable to carry out parallels, comparisons between your partner and whom from your environment, who, in your opinion, is more successful in any life spheres. So you significantly reduce the self-esteem of your interlocutor, especially if it is inclined in some questions to listen to you.
If you understand that the situation during your conversation begins to go out of the control of the mind and is exposed to enhanced pressure from the senses, the best thing you can do at such a moment is to take a pause. Go for a walk, do something if it is not possible to get out of the house. Try to distract from depressing thoughts. Such pauses allow people to cool and look at the situation from other positions.
Write letters, gentlemen
It happens that you are not sure in your equilibiousness and are afraid that she will spoil all your attempts to discuss the problems that have arisen between you and your partner. In this case, take a sheet of paper and try to set out everything you would like to say. With the help of the handle and paper, you can not only express yourself, but also structuring your thoughts so that it is better to figure it out. Sometimes it happens that in the process of writing a person begins to understand the reasons for the root existing problems. Perhaps coming to some conclusions on paper, you can find the strength on the usual conversation.
Finally, try before finding out the relationship, accept a person as it is. Many do not correctly perceive this phrase. It does not mean that you should put up with those unpleasant features that your partner can be. And also does not mean that you need to try to change it if some features do not suit you. You must see and understand whether he need you with all his rich inner world. Do all its pros and cons arouse all his pros and cons. If the answer is positive, it is wonderful, you make your conscious choice. If not satisfied, your conscious choice remains with you - you can look for other options that offer you. So, make decisions consciously.