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How to forget your mistress if you really want advice. A way that will help you forget your mistress, even if you are very attracted to her. Immersion in work

Unfortunately, relationships don't always last forever. How to forget your lover and stop making a tragedy out of parting with him? Regardless of who initiated the breakup, you need to continue to live. The advice from psychologists collected below will help you quickly come to your senses and regain the ability to enjoy life.

How to forget a lover: tears

Psychologists are unanimous that fatal mistake committed by those representatives of the fair sex who force themselves to restrain their emotions. How to forget your lover without spending months and years returning to life? You need to allow yourself to just cry, setting aside exactly one day for this, and then accept the current situation.

Of course, if the desire to shed tears does not disappear within 24 hours, you can indulge in this activity for a few more days. The main thing is to accurately determine the date for the end of suffering. Brighten up your life this difficult period Favorite sweets and a list of heartbreaking melodramas, in which the heroes are doing much worse, will help.

Black list

How to forget your lover and learn to sincerely rejoice at parting with him? Our memory, unfortunately, is designed in such a way that when we break up with a person, only the best moments associated with him are replayed in our heads. This does not mean at all that the ex-boyfriend consists only of advantages and has no shortcomings. It will help to realize this long list his negative character traits and bad habits, compiled by himself.

Which items should be added to the “black” list? It is allowed to mention any shortcomings that irritated a man: selfishness, irresponsibility, laziness, and so on. You can also note bad habits, for example, addiction to beer, smoking, computer addiction. You can even mention snoring at night if the list seems too short. Having completed work on the list, it is worth hanging the result in a visible place and re-reading it from time to time. This will help you understand that your ex-lover does not live up to the title of the man of your dreams.

hen-party

How to forget your lover and stop wasting time on useless regrets about the breakup? Of course, if you wish, you can completely isolate yourself from the world for several days or even weeks, limiting it to the confines of your own apartment. However, it is much better to invite close friends to visit, whom you did not have enough time to communicate with during the height of the romance, and also buy a bottle of martini. Telling your loved ones about your misfortune means taking a confident step towards healing.

During a bachelorette party, you shouldn't avoid talking about your ex-lover. On the contrary, it is worth asking your friends to remember all the negative traits that the “object” had. It is quite possible that at the end of such an evening of memories, parting with a friend will seem like a blessing, and not a tragedy, and the realization will come that he is not worthy of being sad about.

Change of image

How to forget your lover if you really want to return to him? A cardinal card capable of giving positive emotions will help you to distract yourself from wrong desires. It's time to do ultra-short haircut, which I couldn’t decide on due to the fact that my former lover liked long-haired young ladies. Or dye your hair a different color, bright and extravagant. Finally, you can experiment with cosmetics.

ABOUT healing properties Many books have been written about shopping, why not make sure that they are available in practice? It is possible that the time has come to radically change your style, create a different image. If there is no desire to experiment, you can limit yourself to purchasing stylish new things, trying them on is simply bound to have a positive effect on your mood. Even a pair of trendy shoes can temporarily bring a smile back to your face.

Sport

How to forget a lover? Expert advice may vary, but all psychologists are unanimous that sports will help a suffering woman. Instead of wallowing in sadness, you should purchase a subscription to Gym or swimming pool, sign up for a yoga course or start learning an unfamiliar dance.

Also for young ladies who are trying to survive a painful breakup with a man, it is indicated physical activity on fresh air. Why not introduce such a wonderful tradition into your life as a morning jog? In addition, you can ride a bicycle or roller skates, and from time to time give up transport in favor of walking.

It is obvious that playing sports has a positive effect not only on mood, but also on appearance. A beautiful body is the key to regaining self-confidence that was shaken as a result of the breakup.

A change of scenery

How to forget a lover? The psychologist's advice also includes such an item as a change of environment. It’s great if you have the opportunity to take a vacation and escape to another country for a couple of weeks. Travel involves new interesting acquaintances, fresh impressions. It is advisable to give preference active recreation, and not the beach one, so as not to leave yourself time to suffer.

If purchasing a foreign tour is not part of your plans, why not get to know your hometown better? Surely there are attractions in it that have fascinating story, worthy of attention museums and art galleries. Such entertainment can be found not only in your city, but also in neighboring settlements, visiting which does not involve significant material and time costs.

Immersion in work

"I can not forget ex-lover! - a complaint that psychologists often hear. Many of them advise such a case throw yourself into work, as this will help you take your mind off your worries. The result of such efforts may be a bonus from your superiors, which is worth spending on purchasing luxurious gifts for yourself.

Breaking up with a man is a wonderful reason to think about a career. Why not find time for self-development and start attending seminars, courses and trainings that are useful for career advancement? In addition, you can study a foreign language, the knowledge of which will certainly be useful in the future.

Repair

How to forget a lover? Oddly enough, you can get rid of the feelings associated with a breakup by creating unbearable living conditions for yourself. It’s possible that it’s time to stop postponing apartment renovations. Fortunately, renovation is not an activity that can be abandoned halfway; it always has to be completed. Therefore, there will be no time to suffer for a long period.

Perhaps it's time to buy new furniture that won't be associated with various memories? You can also rearrange it, which will create the illusion of a change of scenery. In addition, psychologists advise removing things related to ex-boyfriend or reminiscent of him. If it’s a pity to part with his gifts forever, it’s worth removing them from your eyes for a while, waiting until the moment when they stop causing any emotions.

New acquaintances

How to forget married lover? Understanding that there are many free representatives of the opposite sex around, ready to romantic relationships. It's time to stop turning down invitations to social events, parties and birthdays, and start visiting places where you can meet many interesting people. Also, do not give up the opportunities that the global network provides for free these days. It is dating sites that help many men and women find their other half.

However, we should not forget that psychologists warn young ladies who are having a hard time with a breakup against hasty romances. By starting a new relationship out of revenge or a desire to forget, girls only harm themselves. Moreover, this is wrong in relation to unwitting participants in such revenge.

Popular mistakes

How to forget your lover if you are really desperate? Expert advice will not help if the girl does not stop looking for a meeting with her ex-boyfriend. You should not deliberately (or accidentally) visit the places where he happens to go to his pages on social networks. It is advisable to get rid of joint photographs or remove them from visibility for some time.

In addition, you should abstain from drinking alcohol for a while. While intoxicated, you can start attacking ex-lover calls and SMS messages. In addition, alcoholic drinks only enhance junk food, since this will negatively affect not only your figure, but also your mood and well-being.

Relationships with a married man rarely give positive results: you remain in the role of a mistress, but even if he leaves the family, he appears eternal fear that one day this will happen to you too. It is better to nip such love in the bud: even when you allow a small affair, try not to count on something serious, because life goes on and you need to move on.

Not knowing how to stop loving a married man, seek the help of psychologists. Their advice will help in difficult situation, will help you understand yourself and find the strength to move on. Source: Flickr (Halina_Reshetova)

Disadvantages of a relationship with a married man, why it is better to break it off

In search of a solution to the problem of how to forget a married man and survive the pain of separation, you should understand how bad such relationships are:

  • Building your happiness by breaking up families is immoral, because another woman also deserves love.
  • A flighty man will never become a reliable family man.
  • There are practically no prospects for relationships, since you are destined for the role of only a mistress.
  • Once you make a mistake or stop taking care of yourself, you will most likely be abandoned by your gentleman.
  • We have to hide our feelings and spend holidays separately.
  • You adapt to your partner, forgetting about yourself, and are forced to be content with little.

This is interesting! Statistics are an inexorable thing, and according to them, about 5% of men go to their mistresses, while the rest are quite happy with a double life.

Advice from a psychologist: how to forget and stop loving a married man

Not knowing how to stop loving a married man, seek the help of psychologists. Their advice will help you out in a difficult situation, help you understand yourself and find the strength to move on with your life.

If you love him, how to survive the pain of parting

  1. Analyze the situation. If your partner has not left his wife during your relationship, it means he loves her. It is unlikely that you will be able to destroy such a relationship, no matter how sad it may be for you.
  2. Make sure the man is happy. This method is quite cruel, but effective. Just go to his house incognito, see that he feels great with his wife - you won’t be able to break this happiness.
  3. Find a new hobby for yourself - let it be fitness, work, a fan, or relaxing with friends. Immerse yourself in something you enjoy and you will find that it gets easier over time.
  4. Think about the shortcomings of your boyfriend, about how you had to hide from your wife, how sad it was to sit alone on March 8th, watching him leave for her. Do you need such feelings? Maybe you should find a more worthy company for yourself?
  5. Change yourself and change your environment. Take time off on vacation or on a business trip, do new hairstyle, apartment renovation, get rid of joint photos. Make sure o past relationships nothing reminded me.

If you are married yourself

It is easier for a married lady to survive the bitterness of separation: there is someone nearby who will console her. Hard time and show love. Think about why you got married, what advantages your spouse has, how unfair you are treating him. Try to find something new in a relationship, to rekindle the extinguished spark. Relax together, spend time, try to look beautiful just for your husband.

This is interesting! If you and your husband are connected sincere feelings, think about the child: the arrival of a new family member will relieve you of difficult thoughts.


It’s better to turn your attention to other hobbies, spend time usefully, and if all else fails, visit a psychologist. Source: Flickr (Matt_Haddaway)

If he left you and doesn't love you

Wasting your precious time on a busy gentleman is already a mistake, and if he doesn’t love you yet, it’s a doubly mistake. Most likely, you were just a temporary option for him. If a guy is cheating on his wife left and right, think about why you need such a flighty and irresponsible person. The main thing is not to get discouraged, or at least pretend that you feel comfortable. Over time, everything will return to normal, but old feelings there won't be a trace left.

Recommendations on how to leave a married man and start a new life

Often something separates you from taking a decisive step. You don’t know how to leave a married man, you’re worried that you’ll be left alone. In this case, psychologists also stocked up with advice:

  • Talk to a friend who didn't like your man, let her talk about him negative qualities, if you haven't noticed them before.
  • See for yourself that the chosen one is far from ideal - his cowardice and duplicity alone are worth breaking up with.
  • Take up your hobby or pay attention to other men, arrange a fun holiday for yourself, visit shops without responding to phone calls boyfriend.
  • Just break all ties with him - change your contacts, address of residence and work, under no circumstances allow yourself to show weakness and meet him again.
  • Create a scandal by demanding that you make a choice: if a man doesn’t love you, he will disappear on his own.
  • Pretend to be sick - at first your companion will care, but soon he will simply dissolve and stop answering calls. This means that there was no love for you at all.

Now you know how to get rid of love for married man– relationships that in most cases are doomed to failure from the start. This is not so difficult to do, because your boyfriend is far from ideal, and only disappointment and pain await you with him. It’s better to turn your attention to other hobbies, spend time usefully, and if all else fails, visit a psychologist.

Video on the topic

In order to completely and irrevocably forget your lover in a very short time, you need to carry out certain work, which consists of several parts: the first part is psychological, it is the most unpleasant and uninteresting, but also the most necessary, all the rest are in one way or another connected with pleasures and entertainment. So, how to forget your lover if you are strongly attracted to him once and for all?

Psychological work

She takes greatest number time, but many of the points that you will work through at this stage will help you not only in the further stages of forgetting your ex, but also in your life in general.

It is quite possible that this is not your first relationship that ended in separation; remember what helped you forget your lover last time.

1) We remember which actor your lover personally reminds you of and do not watch films with his participation;

2) Then we need to reduce its value to you. We write down all its advantages in one column, and disadvantages in another. Moreover, you need to write, both physical, cosmetic, and personal.
Cut the leaf into 2 parts. We question all of its merits.

We keep a list of shortcomings because... Perhaps, especially at first, you will want to return to it again and again.

3) Also think about whether your lover liked all your clothes, maybe he forbade you to wear something, or criticized something. What did he forbid you to do with your appearance? Can pierce ears, get tattoos, cut hair. Maybe he didn’t forbid anything, and you just dreamed of dying your hair blonde for a long time, but you were afraid that he would stop loving you.

4) We remember all the places where your dates took place, and we don’t go there, as they say: “Out of sight, out of mind.” Moreover, most likely he adheres to traditions and may appear there with his next passion.

5) If he gave you gifts, divide them into categories. We sell everything that can be sold. He won't find out anyway, and you'll earn a little extra money for treatment broken heart. Under no circumstances do we give gifts to our relatives and friends - then they will catch your eye.

If he gave you some inexpensive little things or postcards, then it’s better to tear it all up and throw it away. You are generally advised to tear something now. Many girls express their rage and resentment by breaking up Stuffed Toys. Of course, they can be taken to Orphanage. But allow yourself to break at least a few, you deserve it.

6) You need, while alone with yourself, to tell yourself out loud the story of your love and separation from beginning to end, with all your experiences, emotions and vision of the situation. According to the rules, this must be done 100 times in a row. But by the 30th time, you will simply be too lazy to say anything. This is much better than torturing your friends with your stories and experiences. Moreover, if the lover was married lady, it is also safer.

7) Logically rethink the reasons for the separation. Of course, he can tell you that he simply stopped loving you, but this is not a reason for breaking up. Think about what the real reason for breaking up could be: maybe he met someone else with whom he wants to have children, maybe he’s tired of spending money on you. Only you know the person, and after thinking logically, you can understand what real reason breakups.

8) Selfish motives. Think about how you could be particularly useful to your lover - perhaps you helped him with his work, you had a separate apartment for meetings, you often helped him with money. Perhaps he is simply a beginner gigolo, and now either your financial position, or he found someone wealthier.

9) Remember and write a list of what compliments your lover gave you. You are still beautiful, smart, sexy. Nothing changed. Hang this list on your mirror. If you have a little time, write a list of all the compliments you have heard from men in your entire life.

10) Then write a list of what you learned during your relationship, or what he taught you. Mentally thank him for this, but start the list with the words: “I learned.” This could be all your acquired skills from any area of ​​life, for example, “I learned to cook borscht from avocado,” “I learned to get enough sleep in 4 hours,” “I learned to make smokey ice.”

Many people also advise writing a list of thanks to him, but this will be unnecessary; mental gratitude is quite enough.

11) Write two lists. The first one, in which describe which of his touches you liked, which were new erogenous zones he opened it in you. In the second, describe directly what exactly you liked about sex with him.

12) If you are a churchgoer, go to church, forgive him, order him a magpie for his health. Just don’t go to fortune tellers with the aim of casting a love spell and hoping to get him back, even if everything works out, you will not only commit a huge sin, but are unlikely to be happy.

How else can you forget your lover if you are so drawn to him and would be in trouble without him?

Money for psychologists - spend on cosmetologists

If you go to a psychotherapist, it will be beneficial for him that you go to him as long and as often as possible; he will do everything to make you stew in this situation, remember and replay your experiences.

Cry, sleep and eat ice cream

Judging by American cinema, this is exactly what all abandoned girls do to achieve psychological well-being. As if specifically for such a purpose, she has a bucket of delicious ice cream, a bottle of good wine and a whole playlist of melodramas suitable for such an occasion.

Gather your friends and go to the club

The first thing all girls instinctively do is knock out a wedge with a wedge. They take their friends, go to the club, order alcohol and meet guys. The main thing is that you must understand that you are not looking for someone for a new relationship, but someone with whom you can have a blast and get a taste for life.

Before that, re-read the rules of one-night stands, and think about which guy you would like to get to know better. Since now you most need an experienced lover with a beautiful body, pay attention to dancers, open womanizers and pick-up artists.

You will not build relationships with them, but they will skillfully make sure that you like everything. By the way, hint to him about those things from the list that you will definitely like and be open to everything new.

Social networks and photos

1) Do not delete your general photos, use the “Frame” tool and simply cut it out from all the photos, this will help you save those photos where you turned out well, plus an additional psychological technique removing him from your life;

2) Remove him, as well as all his friends from your social networks;

3) Treat yourself to photo sessions. Of course, you can share them to annoy him, but you can also do it for yourself:

- dress in all those things that he forbade you to wear or criticized;

- if he forbade you to dye your hair and get tattoos, you don’t need to do it now to spite him, just ask the photographer to finish drawing everything in Photoshop;

- no need to take photos wedding dress, if you are married, this is stupid, if not, jinx it. Take a photo in a beautiful evening dress which will highlight all your advantages;

— If you are married and your husband doesn’t mind, take a photo in “boudoir style” after seeing your beautiful body V underwear, Your curves and languid look, anyone will begin to regret the breakup;

- if after breaking up you decided to new image, be sure to take a photo in it. By doing this you will show that you have let go of the situation, that in that life there were other you, you could have behaved differently with you, but now that’s it, you

– new and waiting for your better future;

4) Subscribe to your account handsome actor, and in free time go to his page and scroll through the photos, it’s better than going to the page of your ex-lover.

Vacation and new hobby

Try to find time and money for a vacation, away from everything, in a new place you will be able to rethink everything, your personality will be rebooted.

It’s worth finding a new hobby not only to fill up all the time and not have the energy and time to think, but it will also provide an opportunity to make new acquaintances.

You can go shopping, try on new things, eat Tasty food, exercise in the gym - you need to give your body what it needs pleasant sensations. So you will change your focus, get distracted, and forget. That's all the advice on how to forget a married lover, or maybe one who is not in a relationship - this is not so important.

If you did everything correctly, you should only be left with a slight light sadness; you will remember the relationship without emotions, simply as a part of your life.

I'll start from afar.
I have been married for 14 years and all these years I have never cheated on my husband (except for one time, which I will write about later). I can’t say that I’m happy in my marriage, many were on the verge of divorce, but a very long time ago they became somehow distant from each other. he is an unrestrained, rude person. however, I never had the thought of cuckolding him in my head, just as I never had the thought of looking around while my husband was alive. there was a certain melancholy that I wanted something simple female happiness, love, affection, mutual understanding, i.e. what I don’t get in marriage. I began to wonder more and more often whether I should get a divorce, but I didn’t think that my search for female happiness could somehow justify me and deprive my child of a father (we have a 7-year-old daughter).
This is where it all happened... there was a business trip abroad with colleagues from work. it so happened that all the time free from work was spent in noisy company. One of my colleagues and I spent half the night wandering around the city, drinking beer (it was hot there even at night). in one word - spring, warm South night, nice man- the evening, or rather late night, continued in his room - they just sat and talked without any continuation. We spent the next day and evening together again, tramping all over the local sights, the only difference was that we ended up in the same bed. in general, everything is banal. the next day was the last day of the business trip, they were together again, deep in thought from what had happened the day before, however, the couple decided that from then on everything would be as if nothing had happened. he has a family and two children, I also have a family. When we parted, I asked him if it was because it all happened because we both weren’t very sober? said no...
In general, we returned home, because we work together, sometimes we met at work, we tried to pretend that everything was the same. but it was difficult for me. As it turned out, it’s so difficult to take what happened and get it out of my head, but I thought I could handle it...
Meanwhile, my relationship with my husband was only getting worse, and we went on vacation for almost a month. and on the day of my departure, my same colleague called me and began to say that he could not get that very night out of his head, and that the only thing he regretted was that he was not sober. I almost burst into tears, but said that there would be no continuation, and went on vacation.
On vacation, my husband and I argued every day and decided to get a divorce upon arrival.
when I returned, I met my colleague at work, that’s when everything started spinning... both couldn’t stop, it all happened right at work... he was affectionate, gentle, unhurried and so confident in what he was doing that I even I had no idea that something like this could happen to me. and I suddenly realized that this is exactly what I had been missing all my life, that I was a WOMAN, and not a free application for making money, keeping the house in order and satisfying my husband.
stupid and banal, right? but such changes began to occur in me that my friends began to ask if I had fallen in love. Yes, I myself saw that I was blossoming before my eyes, that my eyes were glowing so much that men began to turn around after me. My husband and I began to live separately and began to get divorced.
Don’t think that I intended to ruin this man’s family or suddenly hoped that our relationship could continue. no, I was fully aware that I needed to stop this before we both got bogged down head over heels. my man described what was happening for himself as “gray hair in the beard - a devil in the rib” (he was 41, I was 34). We decided that we needed to tie the knot, but we didn’t succeed right away - we met periodically almost all of last summer. then they separated, keeping friendly relations without any sex.
I again tried to make peace with my husband, we’ve been living together since winter and I’m expecting a second child from him.
but why am I writing - how I met that man at work, I can’t put myself in order for a forgery. Now I’m sitting with my eyes wet - last week I had to communicate with him a lot - and he found out that I was pregnant, he was very happy for me that everything with my husband had returned to normal.
And here I sit, roar, fool...
what do you ask? After all, I’m already living my own life, but I understand that I’m offended by the fact that for him it all happened so easily, and I still can’t forget him. Why does it happen to some women that for their sake a man is ready to go through fire and water, and to give up everything in the world just to be with her, but for someone, having weighed everything, he quickly forgot?
Sorry it’s so long and confusing... I just realized one more thing for myself: I won’t be able to do anything useful with my husband, despite having children...

Greetings, dear men! Recently, one of my clients asked - how to forget your mistress if you are strongly attracted to her? Sometimes you meet a person to whom you begin to be drawn in a completely incomprehensible way. These relationships may defy logic and all sorts of explanations, but what to do if you need to forget and let go? How to do this in the least painful way and not ruin another part of your life? Today I invite you to think about why you are attracted to this or that girl, what you should do with your wife, and what actions will help you quickly get rid of your feelings for your mistress.

What connects you

First, let's decide why you are still so strongly drawn to this beautiful person. A man may have a lot of reasons why a girl grabs him and won’t let go for a long time. I once heard a guy say: I can’t forget her because of the smell of her perfume, it’s like they put me in a trance. And this also happens.

Sex. The most common reason. When a spouse takes a mistress, then most likely he is looking for variety in bed. Because the wife constantly has a headache, she is not ready or tired, and so on. But there is a girl who can do such things in bed that any acrobat would envy. And it attracts. This is very difficult to refuse. Especially if there is no alternative.

Feelings. But besides bed, sometimes other feelings and emotions arise. Fell in love. Maybe it's not strong and eternal love, but pleasant and passionate love. When feelings arise, then it becomes much more difficult to end the relationship. After all, the person already becomes a part of you.

Another option is that she left you herself. Leaving is always easier than staying. And then a desire arises to return, to understand why she left, what went wrong. The hunter's instinct kicks in again, the prey has escaped and needs to be caught again.

In the article “” you can find a more detailed answer to this question. After all, it doesn’t always all come down to bed.

Think about family

When you are trying to forget your mistress, one of the surest steps is to plunge back into family relationships.

Look at your wife from a different angle. Try to notice something that you have never noticed before. After all, destroying a family is forever.

I'm not saying that only the husband should do something in the relationship. It is always the work of both partners. Do you talk to your spouse often? Not about the child’s future kindergarten and what to buy in the store, but heart-to-heart, about your dreams and fantasies, about inner experiences and fears.

It is necessary to share with a person, open yourself and try to understand the other. Only then is normal contact with this person possible.

I know that men often do not take such words seriously. To them such conversations seem like empty chatter, a waste of time. But try it. Open up to your wife. Trust and learn to trust her.

Building a family - difficult task and not everyone can cope with this. Start treating your spouse like a lover. Do not think that you are bound by marriage and a stamp in your passport. She is an ordinary girl/woman. Love her. Fall in love with her again. Think about what will happen if she is gone tomorrow?

To help yourself forget a person, you need to follow simple and simple steps. At the very least, stop looking for meetings. Even fleeting ones. This only reopens old wounds, again returning to those feelings that you are trying to get away from. As they say: out of sight, out of mind. A very correct tactic. The longer you don't see each other, the weaker the connection becomes.

Sometimes it’s impossible to forget quickly and it’s impossible to force yourself. Don’t try to find out something about her from mutual friends, erase all phone numbers, delete from social networks, delete all correspondence and photographs. If you really want to break up with a person, then you need to do it correctly. Sitting and looking at her photo is unlikely to help you cope.

Find a new hobby. Not a new relationship with another woman, you have a wife and build a relationship with her, but an activity, a hobby. Jump with a parachute, go fishing, ride a bike. Anything. When a person is busy with work, he does not have time to think about something else.

Finally, go see a psychologist if thoughts start to become intrusive in your head. He will help you understand why you are so drawn to a person and tell you how to deal with this in your particular case.

In the article "" you will find useful and practical advice, which will definitely help you do everything right and put an end to the relationship.

What haunts you? Why can't you let her go? How are things going with your wife? Why did you even go left?

I'm sure you'll figure it out and be able to do it right choice.
Good luck to you!