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How to calm yourself after a breakup. How to deal with heartache after breaking up with a loved one? Sport burns emotional pain

Why, when people break up, many can not relieve the pain for a long time? How can you help yourself get over a painful breakup? What can be done so that the heart stops reacting painfully at the slightest reminder of what happened? Such feelings are evidence that for you a real separation never happened. Psychologists call this state of "incomplete situation" and give valuable advice on how to deal with it.

Let's first find out what causes sharp pain at parting. Feelings can only be deeply hurt if one person is in psychological dependence from another. The desire for his love, devotion and the need for his recognition are replaced by jealousy, resentment and anger when expectations are not met.

Especially in the relationship between a man and a woman, there is a tendency to build some kind of plans for each other, to harbor hopes, and, as they say, "build castles in the air." And when by certain reasons it all collapses, then the higher we flew in our dreams of someone, the more painful it is to fall, seeing the situation in its true light. The disappointment that overtook you causes seemingly unbearable pain when parting.

Some people manage to just stop thinking about it, putting it out of their heads. However, having driven the pain to the very bottom of your soul, you still did not get rid of it. Perhaps outwardly, nothing seems to be happening, but on the inner level, the emotional storm continues. The situation must be completed, otherwise you risk carrying this burden, suffering for a long time under its yoke.

How can you help yourself get over the pain of a breakup? Tune in to the fact that you will have a fight on two fronts - intellectual and emotional. You will have to act on them simultaneously, according to the following order. First, figure out what exactly is bothering you. Write down in order what torments you, what expectations did not come true, decide what exactly you are offended by. Such an analysis will help you look at the situation from the outside and reduce the level of emotional stress.

Secondly, try to realize that the one with whom you broke up, in fact, there is nothing to blame. Everyone decides for himself what he should be, with whom and how to treat. Even if he made you believe in something, he still doesn't owe you anything. IN modern world associate one's well-being entirely with some specific person shortsighted. There is a price to pay for these illusions. heartache. Don't expect people to do what you want, and that will protect you from disappointment.

Thus, you will come to the conclusion that it is really naive to think: "I am hurt because he is bad." Adults understand that they are solely responsible for their experiences. That is, “it hurts me, because I hoped, I expected ...” And he is what he is - and you are not in power to change anything here. Therefore, having ceased to feel sorry for yourself and blame someone, you will part with a childish way of thinking.

Of course, emotions cannot be turned off by the mind just like a light switch. They need to be given an outlet, and then they will subside. There are two options here. One of them is to aggressively throw out everything that has accumulated in the face of the offender. Many people resort to this primitive method. However, in this way you will again manifest your need for the participation of this person in your life. But you want to get rid of the suffering that this emotional dependence causes you.

It is better to get rid of accumulated emotions without involving other people. Instead of hiding your feelings, let them come out intensely. It's like removing a festering splinter. At first it hurts a lot, but over time, the desired relief comes. If you cry out or somehow “open” your pain, you will feel an inner emptiness. This is fine.

And now that negative emotions practically gone, you're ready to move on to final stage parting. You can have a small ceremony - to see a person and put an end to your relationship, for example, by saying "Goodbye." You need this, so do not try to figure out or prove something. It's just time to really let go. Or play this meeting in your imagination. Such a check will show whether you have completed the situation or whether there is still something left. # Divorce and causes of divorce #

In any case, this will help you accept reality as it is and open a new page in your life. Of course, it's always easy to give advice. But rest assured that by applying the thoughts from this article, you will definitely cope with mental pain. Start moving in the right direction. In time you will be able to avoid discomfort encountering something in life that would remind you of a parting experienced.

Every girl who broke up with a guy has the same feelings: pain, sadness, despair and disappointment. Regardless of the reason, experiences become for her like a dark cloud, chasing her every minute. It is especially difficult for those women whom the guy left without any explanation and began dating another. How to be in such a situation? What tips will help you calm down and recover after breaking up with a guy?

Recognize the fact of the breakup.

When your relationship seemed perfect, and now you suddenly broke up, it's hard to accept what happened. It seems that this is a dream, and tomorrow everything will be the same. Such negative thoughts detrimental to your emotional state. If the decision was made consciously and firmly, then you should not leave yourself hope, otherwise each new day will be even more difficult and sad. Find out the reason for the breakup so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future. Think about how you feel now, give a firm assessment of the state and circumstances. Such recognition is difficult, but nevertheless necessary for a further happy life.


Don't hold back your feelings.

It seems that tears are a sign of weakness, but this is a delusion. Feel free to express feelings even in the circle of people close to you. If this is difficult for you, write a letter ex boyfriend but don't send it. This will allow you to throw out the accumulated feelings out.

Curb your anger.

In addition to pain and suffering, parting brings anger and anger. Learn to control these feelings and in no case let them break out. Understand that anger will not change anything, and it will not affect the guy’s decision. He may not think about how you feel at this moment. Therefore, the anger that overwhelms you only harms you.

Don't idealize the past.

The brain has a tendency to erase bad memories and only remember good ones. This is reflected in the state of the girl, because it seems to her that everything was not so bad. However, this is an illusion.

Periodically remind yourself of the guy's negative character traits. This will help to accept the situation and recover from the breakup.

Look for the benefits of a breakup.

Think about why you are still better off without this guy? What annoyed you with him? What are the benefits of what happened? It is even worth putting them on paper, so that when sadness appears, you will again be reminded of the positive from what happened.

Keep enjoying life.

Although after a breakup, the problems seem insurmountable, return to the old routine of life without a boyfriend. Think about what can bring you joy or what you lack at this moment in your life? Go in for sports, shopping or go to a beauty salon. Go on a trip or vacation in a foreign hotel. There you will find many surprises, thanks to which you will forget about what happened.

If the pain does not subside, consult a psychologist. He will give good advice to help you deal with pain and despair.

Get rid of things that remind you of the past.

Since you spent a lot of free time with a guy, it is not surprising that many things will remind you of him. You should not visit places where you were with a guy. If the decision regarding the breakup was final, destroy everything that reminds you of young man. Gifts will only point to everything positive and good that is associated with it, and you need to get rid of such memories.

Don't start a new relationship.

After a breakup, there is a desire to start dating someone again. The reasons for doing this are different. Someone wants to take revenge, others in this way get rid of bad memories. However, psychologists do not recommend starting a relationship with someone again immediately after breaking up. As a result, next to you is not the person that you truly need.

Remember that time heals, and you just have to be patient!

Recovering from a breakup is difficult, but with the help of tips and advice, you will succeed! The main thing is not to forget about yourself, monitor your appearance, eat right and play sports.

parting

Even if it happens by mutual decision, it is difficult. During a romance, you get used to a person, associate certain plans and hopes with him, adjust your rhythm of life to his habits, etc. Get peace of mind After a breakup, it's not easy.

Give vent to emotions. Until you let go of your feelings, give yourself the opportunity to cry, experience everything emotionally, you will not be able to truly calm down. Keeping everything in yourself is harmful not only from the point of view of mental comfort - it is dangerous for health. Unshed tears and resentment can become an impetus for the development of neurosis, exacerbation chronic disease etc. You can cry, scream, tear things and break dishes - do everything that will free you from oppressive thoughts and feelings. Find something to do. For a while, your thoughts will be occupied by the former partner and past life- make sure that you simply do not have time for worries. Fill your life to capacity - load yourself with work, find a hobby, bring your body to perfection and exhaustion in the gym, etc. Routine and workload will help to gradually push unproductive thoughts about the past out of your head. Change the environment. It's hard to calm down when you keep running into memories of the past - shared apartment, familiar places, restaurants, and other elements of your life can throw you off balance for a long time. Therefore, pack up and go on a trip - to another country, city, just to the country. Stay where it is easier for you to breathe - new impressions and acquaintances, emotions and experiences will distract you. Raise your self-esteem. Do something that you have long dreamed of doing, but did not have enough time or your former partner disapproved of your interest. Now there are no obstacles - you are free and can manage your time as you want. Learn languages, sign up for a dance studio, take care of your appearance, experiment with changing your image. Open up to new things - actively participate in public life. Perhaps you will not only be distracted, but also make new friends. Renovate your home by getting rid of everything that reminds you of the past - you can just change the wallpaper or arrange a grand remodel. Tune in for the best, stop suffering and perceive parting as new opportunity- so life gives you a chance to meet "your" person with whom you will be happy. print How to calm down after a breakup
Beauty and HealthLove and RelationshipsLove - wonderful feeling but it doesn't always last long. According to the most different reasons people decide to leave. No matter how it happens: by mutual decision, unexpectedly or cruelly - it is always very painful and hard. At such moments, it seems that life loses its meaning. I don’t want to do anything: neither sleep, nor eat, nor work, nor achieve goals. But parting, only a small part life path, so you should not break your life because of him and give up that pleasant thing that awaits tomorrow. Of course, this is very difficult period, even if you understand with your mind that everything will pass. Experienced suffering makes a person stronger and makes it possible to look at everything from the other side, to discover something previously unknown in oneself. But if the soul does not become easier, then it is worth putting aside all business and self-medicating. How to Get Over a Breakup: Become Aware of the Breakup In order to get through this difficult period, you must honestly admit that your relationship is over. You understand that you parted, you heard and felt, but you didn’t realize it with your mind or heart. The thing is that everyone strives for stability, he gets used to the environment, friends, pets, loved ones and children. After the period of adaptation to the new passes, the person begins to feel very comfortable. Therefore, abrupt changes in life immediately cause a feeling of discomfort and rejection, psychological disagreement with what happened. This is what makes the soul suffer and can even cause breakdown. To survive what happened, you need to adapt again to the fact that you will no longer be with the person you loved. You need to learn to live and do it quickly. When you let someone into your life, you are mentally prepared to change it in order to create a new routine and comfort. Feeling of love, strong desire being together helps to painlessly overcome this period of adaptation, so no one notices it, but the human psyche must still rebuild and accept new circumstances, even if they are joyful. But what then to say if the changes are negative, abrupt and unexpected? A person simply was not ready for them, as they say "thunder in the clear sky." Therefore, in order to reduce heartache, discomfort and feelings of rejection, you need to give yourself time to realize that your life has changed. Only when you realize that you broke up, whether it hurts or not, your psyche will begin to work to create new ones. comfortable conditions for you, the conditions that will help you continue to live peacefully and happily. Step Two: How to Soften the Hit In order to get through the breakup with your loved one faster, to accept this fact and soften the pain from it, allow yourself to not hold back your feelings. At such a moment, you do not need to be strong or think about what others will think of you. Try to stay alone for a while and remember everything that happened. If you want to cry, give vent to tears, scream - scream, swear. Express your anger, resentment, indignation, misunderstanding by talking to yourself. Take a pillow and imagine that it is a source of pain that has settled inside you and does not want to let go, hit it, imagine that with every blow, pain, resentment, disappointment, self-doubt, all the difficulties and troubles from your life go away, which were. Try to imagine that the departure of this person, especially if he was unexpected and treacherous, took with him all the troubles that you had, even no matter where - at work or with family. Say one word out loud, "Forget it." This does not mean that you will immediately calm down, but this way you can designate a command for yourself that you accepted the situation, realized it and threw out all the anger that began to destroy you from the inside. Now that you've got rid of the rage that made you breathless, talk to close friend, friend, tell them what happened, why, what you feel and want for yourself now. This will help to survive the most painful moment - awareness and acceptance of parting, then it will become easier. Just do not start now to tell yourself that life is over and nothing good will happen. Forbid yourself to do this, it's better to just cry. How to survive a breakup: try to understand the most radical method will immediately delete the person from your life, as if he was never there. Even if this is your husband, with whom you have lived for many years, you have children in common, do not disturb the wound, give it time to heal, so that later you can remember with gratitude the good things that happened between you, rejoicing that his departure gave opportunity to meet true love. Reassure yourself with the thought that if people love each other very much, they will not part voluntarily, and since it happened, you have freed yourself from unnecessary relationships. If you can’t stop remembering your ex, then remember all the moments that caused you negative emotions. And gradually the feelings will begin to go away, making it possible to realize that this is happiness, because you are free from unnecessary negativity from the person who did not love you. If the beloved man left unexpectedly, having met another woman, and for you he was an ideal, then try to understand him and show love for him again, forgiving and wishing happiness. Let go of this situation and your soul will open to expect a new real happiness. The giver will be rewarded, so your forgiveness will return to you with good. Step Four: Restore Your Peace of Mind After the first wave of pain is gone, start restoring peace and tranquility in your soul. To do this, start living again. If there is no chance of reconciliation left, try to assess the situation objectively, as if you are looking at it from the side. If you yourself made the decision to leave, but you still feel bad that you had to be disappointed in your loved one, understand that you have gained invaluable experience for future relationships, which will save you from making the wrong choice in the future. Thank fate for such an experience and let go of past relationships. Now you need to relax, fill free time interesting things and allow the soul to heal wounds. The more time passes and the less you remember about the breakup, the easier it will begin to relate to what happened. As soon as you want to remember and relive the breakup, it’s better to occupy your thoughts with some other things. cook favorite dish, take it and spontaneously get together and go to the movies. No need to meet girlfriends, wait a while. Their looks can provoke an attack of self-pity. So for now surround yourself with others strangers, imagine that you are just starting to look for your love, you have not had any troubles yet, you have not felt the pain of parting. Try to be in public all the time, and at home turn on the TV and listen to everything, this will help distract you from heartache. Now you just need to buy time. How to survive a breakup: make a plan for the future Now start creating a new comfortable world for yourself, in which there is no place for the bitterness of separation and the person who hurt you. Reconnect with friends. Meet with family, organize joint holiday, picnic or lunch. Free up time to connect with family. Think about all the plans and dreams that you failed to fulfill because of this relationship. Have you wanted to learn how to draw, become a designer, an athlete, learn macrame or computer program or maybe learn a foreign language and visit another country. It's time to start implementing them. If you can, then try to go for a while to another city, resort or to your grandmother in the village. Change of impressions will give you new positive emotions, which will help you quickly rebuild and understand what you were deprived of while in this relationship. The realization that after a breakup you can feel many others joyful emotions will help you let go of the pain. For the first 3 days, give free rein to emotions, think about the fact that you broke up with the person you loved. If you want, visit a psychologist. If they start to appear negative thoughts, immediately remember that everyone has their own soul mate, you just need to wait a bit, and the one who broke up with you gave you invaluable experience, for which you thank him and let him go. And fill your day with new experiences.
Article protected by copyright and related rights. When using and reprinting the material, an active link to the women's site www.inmoment.ru is required. Tags: how to survive a breakup with a loved one Return to the beginning of the section Love and sex

Human relationships are arranged in such a way that people in love living together perceive a partner as a particle of themselves. Love, interchange of energy, warmth of touching hearts, dissolution in each other ̶̶ in the first year of meetings or life together it seems like it will never end. However, the moment of misunderstandings and quarrels is inevitable, therefore, for a third of married couples, sadly, the moment of divorce is also inevitable. Even if separation becomes the only healthy way out of the situation, and you are much better off alone than together, there is an aversion to the moment of divorce or breakup. Some of us simply do not understand where the time and energy went, others endlessly strive after their loved ones, others feel sorry only for themselves, others perceive the gap as the most terrible catastrophe in their lives, after which nothing bright can be.

The breakup of a relationship is always accompanied by nervous tension.

Any experiences come to an end, but there is a chance to stop being nervous much faster, not to deplete your own nervous resources and not bring yourself to a breakdown. No universal method how to calm down after a breakup, but there are ways to ease the mental anguish.

Methods for women

Many believe that a woman is weak only physically, in comparison with a man, and morally ̶̶ much more stable than men. stereotypes public opinion quite a lot of pressure on women. Therefore, after a break in relations, she is perceived by others and perceives herself as a victim of circumstances. Parting with a loved one for a woman is akin to a death sentence, especially if in a relationship she is used to trusting and trusting more, rather than controlling her partner. Wrong perception of oneself, wrong train of thought for a long time do not allow to calm down.

After a breakup, women usually feel like victims.

What to do to calm yourself

Complaints, discussions and prose

The first time when breaking up with a loved one is the hardest for women. A woman is more likely to take responsibility and blame, and in the first days after a breakup she literally eats herself: it was she who was not wise, could not avoid difficulties, conflicts, behaved incorrectly, showed herself from an ugly side, is to blame for the fact that she fell out of love, was a bad hostess. There will be no end to the flow of self-claims and self-criticism, and this is normal.

The solution is extremely simple: complain, cry, team up with a friend, call your mother. If you are ashamed to pour out your feelings, consider it misbehavior or you have no one to turn to, write on paper everything that worries you.

Write about at least one fight or the end of a relationship. Trust the paper with your thoughts about who is more to blame for the breakup, what efforts you made, who more often compromised, who was stubborn. Although this analysis will be superficial and emotional, it will help you stop suffering mindlessly.

Destruction of traces of a loved one in your home

Your house ̶̶ is no longer a love nest for two. Walk around the apartment and collect randomly left shirts, socks, slippers, ties, his gifts, joint photos. After the final break, they have no place in your home. Dispose of anything found or return to owner. Nothing should remind you of happy moments with your loved one and excite you. If you are very annoyed, it is allowed to take your soul away, burn letters, photos, throw things away. Things don't more expensive than relationships, and you will mentally feel better, so allow yourself to get angry so that negative emotions do not destroy you from the inside.

Reassessing yourself and your values

At first, you can consider the process of experiencing separation as a disease. If you are sick, then you need not feel sorry for yourself, but effectively be treated. Sports in double doses, self-care, self-development will help you to be reborn. take care of yourself, do new hairstyle, buy a dress, go to the gym. Feel again how wonderful it is to live for yourself, to be attractive, to spend time and money only on your own interests. You will feel love for yourself and your beautiful body, nice face and realize that fate has an incredible surprise in store for you.

What Girls Shouldn't Do

  • Discuss ex love in company with a girlfriend and alcohol. It is contraindicated to be distracted by alcohol, you risk doing stupid things and forever losing the status of a balanced, adequate, worthy girl.
  • Scandal, humiliate, tail a man, track him down with another girl, manipulate poor health, pregnancy and children. What will it give you but shame? This also includes angry posts on social networks: the whole universe should not immediately recognize the breakup of your relationship and “what kind of guys are goats”.
  • "Knock out a wedge with a wedge." Attempts to immediately start a relationship with another man will not lead to anything good. The very first comparisons of a new acquaintance with yours, such a dear and close man, will clearly be in favor of the former, and you will again be disappointed in life. What will your "substitute" be to blame for? Have you thought about the guy's feelings? Playing with the heart of a new acquaintance is immoral and dangerous for the woman herself.

Scandal during a breakup will only aggravate the situation.

Methods for men

The methods described above are also suitable for a man who is going through a breakup with his girlfriend. One has only to add that the realization of loss overtakes men a month after the breakup itself. At first, a man, as opposed to a woman, is inspired by a sense of freedom, can afford pleasure walks, and only after a while longing overtakes and devours him.

Top advice for men similar situation̶̶ not to defame the name of the once beloved, not to agree with the opinion of friends (yes, you will have many more of them) and to mourn well, not embarrassed to be ridiculous and funny. Sadness must be controlled, so do not stoop to alcohol libations followed by humiliation and drunken calls. You must be alone and isolated. Career, reading and sports ̶̶ recipes for your recovery. Visit your parents, remember your childhood, take a trip. And, remaining a harsh man, boldly dream of a new love.

visualize your new meeting, forgetting that it’s undignified for men to dream, perhaps your good, present, bright future is nearby right now.

Keep in mind that strong people attract the same strengths. Therefore, after parting with a loved one or beloved, first of all, you need to get rid of self-pity, which interferes with the strengthening of your strength.

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Loving a person, spending years next to him, but suddenly being deleted from his life is not an easy test. Such a denouement causes physical and mental torment, and the heart shrinks for a long time from injustice, longing and loneliness. Such wounds do not heal immediately - painful attacks sometimes make themselves felt for years. The question of how to stop worrying about separation from a loved one for women who find themselves in an unforeseen situation is especially acute.

There is nothing to be surprised: this part of humanity is genetically tuned to finding happiness through self-realization in the family. The plans for the future of most girls are correlated with the duties of a wife, the joys of desired motherhood. The disappearance of the object of love, with which dreams and hopes were associated, no matter what the circumstances, is perceived as a tragedy. The problem of how to relieve mental pain becomes central during this period.

How to get rid of the heartache of love: step by step

The fact that faces “crawl out” more slowly than others from a state of deep sensual shock complicates matters. Such people find peace of mind is vital. And without understanding that they cannot achieve the goal at an accelerated pace, they will not be able to get out of the created conflict. For long journey you also need to stock up on the strength of the spirit. Nevertheless, for the sake of a renewed self - having said goodbye to illusions and ready for a new one - it is worth overcoming all the milestones of this path.

Time heals: give it to yourself

  • - . Do not think why it is so bad in your soul - just grieve in a space conducive to light sadness: on a walk, in a quiet room, in the kitchen with a cup of tea.
  • - Let disappointment, anger, grief, anxiety and uncertainty about the future pass before your eyes sequentially, stage by stage. Plunge into the sea of ​​emotions, but don't let yourself drown in it forever.
  • - If at this phase you lost interest in everything - up to the desire to leave the house, take care of yourself, observe an elementary regimen - seek the help of a psychologist. Such stress will be removed by a professional.

Get rid of reminder things and help others

  • - Tips on how to get rid of the past will not work if you constantly stumble upon the things of the former. Bridge burning rituals are overkill. Give your junk to someone who needs it.
  • - Perhaps along the way you will remember about charity and pick up items that will bring joy to people in need and deprivation. Agree: their sorrows are incomparable with your loss.
  • - Move from communicating with comforting friends to the position of a comforter. Try on the role of a comrade and adviser. Start listening, comforting and lending a helping hand to your neighbors.

Get away from provocations and start recovering

  • - Avoid provocative factors: songs that give rise to associations, well-established cafes, photos in communities. Do not delay attention on them, switch to fresh songs and rest corners.
  • - Use energetic, incendiary music, rhythmic dance melodies as a medicine. They will create an endorphin surge and cheer you up. Dance and move more.
  • - Shift from being "tired of everything" to a pleasurable chain of reading a book, watching a thriller, a concert, a comedy show.

Change your lifestyle and be positive

  • — Habitual way that accompanies your coexistence is destroyed - this is understandable. But it doesn't mean that. To cope with mental pain, look for an alternative to your previous activities.
  • - You may not need drastic changes. But a pleasant hobby, a trip to another city in a nice company or as a lone tourist is what you need. The change of scenery sets you up for a different story.
  • - Change your image personal growth. Feel the reserves hidden in you and let them go. They dreamed of mastering the technique of macrame, karate techniques - go ahead. Lots of time and you are free!

  • - Love yourself - this trait does not repel, but attracts, gives success and endows with stamina.
  • Empathy and helping others is a guarantee that you will never be left alone.
  • - Joke and smile: now you not only know how to live on - you have someone to support you.
  • Trust people and give them love. A sad experience is no reason to lose faith in the good. It's not far off.

The science of parting is difficult for those who do not want to learn from the mistakes of the past. The more thoughtlessly you approach the choice of a partner, the more likely that you will again step on the same hated rake.

To know how to calm down after a breakup, you need to be able to dot the i's and use the situation to your advantage. Just decide for yourself that this was not the person to whom you can devote your entire life. Rejoice that you have not broken firewood with the very one intended for you in the narrowed ones.

Learn from mistakes

Agree that it is very short-sighted not to be able to extract correct conclusions from any situation, especially from such a difficult one as parting. That's why take a moment to take a break from your feelings and try to look at the situation through someone else's eyes. As if this did not happen to you, but to a friend who is now asking for advice. What would you suggest she do first? Probably, to understand the situation and take life lessons.

Pour out the pain on paper

Try to describe everything from the very beginning of the acquaintance until the moment of parting. In search of a solution to your problem, you crawled through a lot of forums where you tried to find the answer to the question of how to calm down after a breakup. Imagine that you are asking a psychologist a question. Your story might start like this: “From the moment I felt like a girl, I had no luck with guys, and now I met Him.” Do not miss every little thing that may seem important to you. Of course, you will shed many tears while writing your confession, but this will only make your task easier.

Analyze your personal life

Overcome the urge to tear up or delete this email and come back to it the next day. Reread until all the facts presented in it cease to evoke emotions in you. Now you can act as a dispassionate judge, deciding what could have been done differently in your life, and where you did the right thing. As soon as the sprouts of the mind begin to break through emotions, you can congratulate yourself, you have been ill with parting, now it will be easier.

Don't blame yourself

Each person steps on the same rake as you. You are no worse than others and also have the right to make mistakes. They stumbled, hurt themselves, with whom it does not happen. It's time to put yourself in order. You have already learned the necessary lessons. No one forces you to rush into a new relationship, as if into a whirlpool.

Allow yourself some time to be alone. It also has its advantages. And it does not need to be endured or experienced, it must be enjoyed. You now have no obligation to your loved one. If he was married, congratulate yourself on avoiding the fate of a mistress and a third wheel. Now you are your own mistress.