How to Raise a Boy as a Real Man: Tips. Fostering a culture of communication with peers. Fact. Men's life is much richer
The first year of a child's life is a stage that has a tremendous impact on his entire further life... Never again will he grow and develop so quickly, and never again will he be so helpless and dependent. His physical and mental health are completely in the hands of the parents, and if everything is more or less clear with physiology - the baby is not sick, his height and weight are normal, he is cheerful, then everything is in order - then the psychology of a child under one year old is a secret sealed with seven seals.
Psychology of raising children under one year old
Why is he crying? Maybe he's just being naughty? Maybe manipulating? What if we spoil him? - These questions do not give rest to moms and dads.
Relatives vying with each other give advice - "you were raised!".
But are we always happy with how we raised us?
How many can boast complete absence psychological problems?
Looking for answers modern parents refer to popular articles and scientific research, but even here they will be disappointed. Experts pour out theories and hypotheses, but they have no single correct answers. In the end, the methods of education have to be chosen, relying on intuition, and yet actual information It can be useful. Perhaps in order to substantiate their views or, disagreeing with recent trends, informedly refuse to follow them.
If the baby is crying
One of the most controversial issues in raising an infant is the reaction to crying.
Should parents react instantly and eliminate possible reasons discontent? Or crying baby can be left in crib if dry and recently eaten. There are two diametrically opposite answers to this question:
- Traditional approach: « cry and stop "," let him develop lungs " or rude "Sometimes you have to let it go." Admirers of this method believe that a child should be actively weaned from the desire to be in his arms from an early age, too frequent attachments to the chest, awakenings in the middle of the night. It is worth crying for this; sooner or later, the child will learn that screaming does not bring results, and will stop demanding what is unnecessary or harmful, according to the parents.
- Child-centered approach. This view of the psychology of a child under one year of age denies the need and benefits of crying. Child centrists believe that a child should not cry alone. If parents can't find physical reasons his discomfort, which means they must eliminate the psychological. Usually, babies require bodily contact with their mother, because they lived in her body for 9 months and about the same amount of time they need to get used to a separate existence. According to theories « natural parenting» , it is necessary to satisfy the child's need for carrying in his arms, sleeping together with his parents, and prolonged sucking of the breast as much as necessary.
Fostering independence
Traditionalists believe that in a child from birth one should educate the ability to be alone, to entertain oneself, to fall asleep alone. Otherwise, there is a risk of raising an infantile, spineless, incapable of adaptation in a team, a person.
The traditional psychology of raising a child under one year old provides for the maximum autonomy of children from their parents: their own crib or even a separate bedroom from birth, walks in a stroller, breast-feeding according to the regimen and the nipple to satisfy the sucking reflex.
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A mother can go to work early, replacing herself with a nanny. Adults go on vacation without children. Failure to meet these conditions can lead to the fact that the child will refuse to leave the parents' bed, will be afraid to fall asleep alone, it will be extremely difficult to wean him, etc.
"Naturalists" are convinced that it is very important for a baby to be fully tame and breastfeeding, to “nourish” with dependence and care, so that at an older age he can courageously rush into the sea of life.
They choose joint sleep, since the baby near the mother's side sleeps much better, free breastfeeding - without a regimen, without a nipple: the baby is applied at will, regardless of the place and time; walks in a sling - the mother carries the child on herself, including going about her own business.
Parents do not let their children go until they themselves declare their desire to stay with their grandmother, for example. According to this approach, children deprived of constant attention v infancy, will definitely try to compensate for this shortcoming as they get older.
Today psychology cannot unequivocally determine which of the two approaches to raising children under one year old is more correct and meets the characteristics of their psyche.
Raising babies remains groping in the dark in a completely unfamiliar area.
Each parent behaves as they see fit, at their own peril and risk.
There can be only one criterion of truth here - a specific child. Happy baby mental problems are not threatened, even if the parents, in the opinion of an experienced neighbor, do everything wrong.
It often happens that parents want to have a girl or a boy. But how often do they think about the differences in the educational process, which depend on the sex of the child? But how to grow a real man out of him is a complex and multifaceted question.
So the baby was born
When the little boy is born, one of the first tasks is to give him the present male name... At the same time, psychologists do not recommend giving such as Eugene, Valentine or Julius. The color blue in clothing does not play a significant role in the formation of masculinity. This is most likely a necessity for parents, they thereby kind of signal to others that a real man is growing up in the family.
First year of life
Around the end of the first year of life, parents who have pondered the question of how to raise a boy correctly will notice that their baby loves to quarrel. Thus, he shows his "I", shows his independence. Experts called these manifestations the “crisis of the first year”. During this period, not only the character of the son is actively formed, but also his dedication, independence and even self-esteem. How should parents behave in such a situation? We need to try to take these manifestations as calmly as possible. No need to try to break in communication with him will help patience and affection. At this age, boys do not need affection and tenderness at all fewer girls, accordingly, a kiss or hugs will not harm the formation of a future man. It is not for nothing that the upbringing of children in Islam does not differentiate them at this age by gender: here boys and girls are equal. At the same time, you should not allow a little boy to twist ropes out of himself: parental authority should reinforce your love and care. But here it is better to know when to stop, since the baby needs self-affirmation, therefore, ignoring his desires, requests in the future can play a bad joke with you.
Psychologists recommend that parents who are wondering how to raise a boy correctly should not use asexual “baby”, “lapulia” when addressing their son ... The best option will come up with messages that emphasize it gender, for example, "my protector", "son", "hero" and so on.
Boys over the age of three
At about three years old, parents will notice that the baby has become independent. At this age, the baby studies the interaction between people, learns to understand what is bad and what is good. It was during this time period that the boy develops a desire to communicate more with men, to be just as brave, strong and courageous. Right now, the most correct thing for parents who ask themselves the question "how to raise a boy" will be to give the correct guidelines, to show the most typical male behavior models (of course, positive). A mother seeking to raise a "knight" needs to see in him, first of all, a little man, choosing for herself the position of the weaker sex. It will be helpful for the boy's self-esteem to consult with him, as well as allow him to be strong (for example, to show that without his help you would certainly have fallen). And remember that spiritual education children begins at the moment when parents give them the opportunity to understand that they are full members of the family.
Particular attention in the upbringing of children, parents should be given precisely at the age of 1 to 2 years. By the age of three, the child becomes quite independent, he wants to do everything himself, if possible. Parents should not interfere with this issue, but rather help the child and encourage his desire for independence.
The upbringing of children from one to two years old can be divided into 2 stages:
Raising a baby from one to one and a half years;
Education from one and a half to two years.
During the second year of life, the baby's behavior is still completely unstable and requires increased adult control to normalize his behavior. At this age, an adult must pay enough time for the child to keep him in a good mood. In the second year of life, games with adults acquire, first of all, a cognitive character. The game should be structured in such a way that the child has fun, and so that the child learns something new in each game and reinforces the knowledge that was obtained earlier.
It is possible to divide the upbringing of a child in the second year of life into the following sections:
Education of cultural and hygienic skills:
Washing;
Dressing;
Appearance;
Food;
Dream.
Fostering a culture of activity:
Mode;
Skills of playing with toys and the acquisition of initial skills in working life;
Observance of order, respect for things and toys;
We teach the child to understand the requirements of an adult.
Fostering a culture of communication:
Communication with adults;
Communication with peers.
We wash
During the second year of life, the child must learn to wash on his own. The kid needs to be reminded that after the street and before eating, you need to wash your pens. The baby should know that after sleep you need to wash your face and wash your hands. Mom should show the child how to open the tap, it is necessary to show and explain what kind of jet should be, so that the child does not open the tap very much and as a result does not end up all wet. Show your child how to regulate the water so that it does not get very hot or very cold. At first, the baby will not succeed, but over time he will learn everything. Tell your toddler to roll up their washing sleeves and show them how. You need to show how to lather the pens to get a lot of foam. Explain to the baby that the soap must be thoroughly washed off. After washing is finished, the baby closes the water himself (from about one and a half years), the mother checks whether the water is carefully closed or closes it herself, if the child is not yet able to.
Getting dressed
From one year on, the child takes an interest in their clothing and the dressing process. The child tries to pull on tights, socks, and a hat by himself. Do not interfere with these attempts of the child. On the contrary, praise him for striving to dress himself. Teach your toddler to dress in the correct order. We dress from bottom to top, undress, on the contrary, from top to bottom. After the baby is undressed, show them where to put things. Use your example to demonstrate respect for things. If you scatter your things, then you should not expect the child to be in order in things, and do not even think to scold the kid for the mess, if your things are not in the best condition.
The main thing in education to remember:
CHILDREN TAKE AN EXAMPLE FROM THEIR PARENTS!
If in the family, obscene language is used in the conversation, if the child does not hear " magic words»In communication between parents and in communication with oneself, if things are scattered around the apartment. In this case, do not demand order from the child, and do not be surprised when one day the child says the place: "Mommy, please buy me this toy", you will hear: "I want this toy, quickly buy it for me" - and after these words he will fall into hysterics. Appearance
We eat
In the second year of life, the child will gradually show a desire to eat from a spoon on his own, drink from a cup on his own. Encourage this desire and praise the baby for such an aspiration. Beginning at the age of one and a half, teach your child to use a napkin and keep your face clean while eating.
Dream
Daily regime
The regime is formed in the child gradually, do not demand from the baby that he immediately followed the assigned regime. In order for the crumbs to form a sense of time, raise it in the morning at the same time, daytime sleep, should also be at about the same time. Walks, games, activities with mom or dad, breakfast, dinner and lunch - all this should have its place and time in the daytime of the baby. Constantly following the regime, after a while, the baby will come up to you and say: "Mom, let's go for a walk."
Skills of playing with toys and the acquisition of initial skills in working life
At the time that is allotted for you for games and activities, parents should show the baby what actions can be done with this or that toy. It's high time to teach your kid to take care of toys, show how you can swing a bunny, doll or bear. After a while, entering the room, you will see how your baby carefully shakes his favorite toy. Teach your toddler to feed toys. Tell us that first we will eat soup, then porridge, and then drink tea. So, during the game, the kid himself will know that while eating, he must first eat, the first, then the second, and then the time will come dessert.
In addition, while playing, the baby may try to imitate mom and dad. After the toys have "eaten", the child may show a desire to wash the dishes, of course, all this is done for fun. Thus, the child acquires the initial skills of work.
Observance of order, respect for things and toys
These skills, the baby begins to acquire from one and a half years. The child can already sit on a chair on his own, is already able to collect his toys and put them in place. Explain and show by your example how and where to put toys after play. There should be a designated place for toys. It can be a box or a box.
Teaching a child to understand the requirements of an adult
Even before one year old, you need to start telling the child the word "no". A kid who has not yet reached a year, with the help of intonation and a change in the voice of mom or dad, can understand that he has done something wrong. Starting from a year, the child needs to continue to be taught to act according to your instructions, the child is taught what is “allowed”, what is “not allowed”, what is “necessary”. Fostering a culture of communication with adults
The second year of life is the formation of the child's speech. Adults are, of course, role models. Therefore, adults should serve a child correct example... No need to lisp with the child, lisp and distort words. Such an example not only will not give the child the correct understanding of speech, but may also lead to the need to contact a speech therapist. Talk to your child like an adult. This does not mean that your communication will be deprived positive emotions and it will be dry. After all, you can communicate with a child with a smile and good mood, and at the same time not lisping.
In addition, it is high time to teach the child to behave culturally in public place... It is difficult for a child to prohibit running and jumping. But you need to explain to the baby that in some places, if the baby screams and runs, he can interfere with someone. Don't introduce too many prohibitions. For example, a child should know that when entering a clinic and a store, one should be quiet. But after you leave the room, you can again run, jump, have fun and squeak.
It is necessary to consolidate the baby's ability to say hello, say goodbye, and thank for something.
Fostering a culture of communication with peers
After the first birthday, you can teach the baby to play together with friends, let the kids do at least some actions together. From one and a half years old, children can be carried away longer playing together... Although up to three years old, the most favorite games of children are only with their parents, since mom and dad can come up with interesting and new games, and the toys in the game always come to life and begin to “talk”.
How to raise a boy in order to grow a real man out of him? This question tirelessly worried all mothers at all times. Who is the main influence on the boy?
Psychologists cannot unequivocally answer this question... However, the primary role of the mother in shaping the character of the child in early period his life.
V early childhood(preschool period) it is the mother who is constantly with the child and her role in the child's life is the most significant.
V early age every child, regardless of gender, needs maternal care, affection and love. The more love a mother gives to her child, the more emotionally and physically healthy person he grows up.
Correct upbringing of a boy at 2 years old
It should be noted that until the child is two years old, no significant difference in the education of boys and girls. The upbringing will be the same, since at such an early age the baby does not yet identify themselves by gender.
But by the age of two, the state of affairs changes, since the boy already begins to relate himself to male sex and understand that he may be small, but a man. At two years old, the boy's motor skills and coordination of movements improve, he already runs and jumps much better.
In no case should you limit locomotor activity baby, but on the contrary, it is necessary to create all conditions for favorable physical development.
By the age of two, the boy develops a desire to help his mother in everything. It is necessary to encourage the child's interest in domestic work in every possible way.
Great value in life two year old child takes the game.
Therefore, with the help of the game, you can instill in a child socially significant skills and qualities, such as organization, accuracy, cleanliness, hard work.
When communicating with a male child, one should not use such diminutive-affectionate designations as "bunny" or "honey" in his speech in relation to him. This can lead to excessive effeminacy of the toddler, which is not good for the boy.
Proper parenting of a boy at the age of 3-oh
At three years old, a male baby is already clearly aware that he is a little boy. And here at this age it is especially necessary to form a child adequate self-esteem... The child should enjoy the knowledge that he little man and is proud of it. 
Dads do not need to distance themselves from communicating with their son, considering him still too young. Because at the age of 3, for a little boy, it is the dad who, like no other, becomes an example to follow. The boy begins to show an increased interest in dad and wants to be like him in everything.
Boys at the age of three are very active, mobile and restless creatures. Therefore, they need to provide movement space. It is recommended to spend as much time as possible with the three-year-olds in the fresh air, making long and exciting walks.
It's good if every time there are new places that you need to explore with your child.
Take a little trip for your son every day.
Developing physically, trying your hand, exploring the world, the little traveler will certainly develop intellectually. Variety itself surrounding reality, an interesting and fascinating world around will provide rich food for the child's mind, developing his horizons.
Movement is life! And for little child movement is the basis of the foundations! Traffic, Fresh air, warm gentle sun, blue sky overhead, simple healthy food, pure water and a loving adult by your side, ready to answer everything children's questions- this, perhaps, is all that is needed for full development child in a given age period.
At the age of 3, both boys and girls become extremely curious and start asking a lot of questions. Parents need to be attentive to this curiosity of children and try to answer the questions asked as fully and interestingly as possible.
Correct upbringing of a boy at 4 years old
4 years old important stage in the development of the child's personality. Little boy learns to show his emotions, that is, the emotional component of his personality begins to develop. And here it is very important for an adult not to suppress the emotions of the baby, but, on the contrary, to teach him to adequately express them.
Boys have a particularly difficult time here, because they are constantly inspired by the society around them that boys should not cry or rejoice too violently, as this is the prerogative of girls. However, this position is fundamentally wrong!
If boys constantly suppress their emotions, they will grow up to be secretive and insecure people.
After all, if a person accumulates in himself everything negative, all grievances and disappointments and does not have the moral opportunity to throw out even a small part of them, then, inevitably, this will be reflected in the most difficult way on him.
Correct upbringing of a boy at 5 years old
A five-year-old boy is already fully aware of himself as a little man. At the age of 5, the boy develops a romantic attachment to his mother. Mom becomes the ideal woman.
Some boys at this age begin to compliment their mothers and notice any changes in their appearance (new dress, new color hair). 
Boys often tell their mom that she is the prettiest. Often at this age, boys tell their mothers that they are marrying them.
From the age of five, dad must show Active participation in the development and education of his son. By doing male work around the house, it is advisable for the father to involve his child in active participation.
It is the dad who must educate and develop in the son male qualities character.
Mom, on the other hand, can contribute to the development of such personality qualities in her son as kindness and compassion, mutual help and support, a chivalrous attitude towards representatives fair half humanity.
Proper parenting of a teenage boy
Somewhere between 11 and 14 years of age, cute and obedient boys become rebellious. Boys are starting to distance themselves from their parents as they no longer see them as authority figures. Parents should not be offended here.
It is necessary to understand that it is extremely difficult for the child himself now, since colossal changes are taking place in his body. The boy begins to turn into a young man, and this process is quite painful and not easy.
Raising a child for 1 year is a responsible business, it requires close attention to the activities carried out for this. The foundation of the character is laid precisely in the first years of life, and the traits acquired in childhood are fixed for a long time.
Upbringing one year old child lays in him the main character traits. Therefore, so that your child is not greedy, angry and lazy, instill in him kindness, sociability, hard work and accuracy. The child should be able to share with peers and adults, and if you teach him respect with toys, he will appreciate human labor.
Raising children from one to two years old requires painstaking permanent work and worries. You must repeat persistently and systematically. educational processes and situations, carefully controlling everything.
There is, as it were, a balance of positive and negative qualities... And if good features are brought up to a lesser extent, then the bad ones appear. Due to lack of upbringing is shown dark side a character that expresses greed and harm, selfishness and indifference.
How to raise a child after a year? - Just watch your actions and behavior. If you want to bring up the best or the best in a child, then you should step over yourself. Do you think the child will be non-conflict if you constantly quarrel with your spouse and others?
Physical education baby 1 year- is also an important point. The kid is just starting to walk, so he cannot do exercises on his own. You woke up, visited the toilet, now you can start walking. Hold the baby by the hand, and then, letting go, step back a few steps. Beckon him to you, repeating the procedure several times, and increase the distance every day.
There are a lot of exercises, you can think of them yourself, or you can find them on the net. You can give you another developmental exercise after warm-up - obstacle crawling. Such an activity requires blocking up the path in front of the baby on the way to the toy. To help you, benches, blocks, boxes with a height of about 10 cm. You need to complicate obstacles when they are easily overcome.
Finish your morning exercises warm shower or a simple warm rub soft towel... Do this every day, and your baby will always be in a cheerful mood with a good appetite.
From the age of 12 months, the development of boys and girls begins psychological differences. How to raise a 1 year old boy? It's just that the upbringing should be completely different from the girl's. Development from boy to husband occurs in three stages, in our case (the first stage) the baby has developed a connection with the mother as never before. You have to pass on to the boy great love, he should feel completely safe.
Boys perceive the touch of their mother less, they play more actively, grow faster, and also experience separation from their parent more painfully. Up to three years old, you need to constantly be with the boy, so as not to develop aggressiveness and neurosis. This is what research has shown.
At this age, children cry, exploiting more motherly love... The father also turns on. How to raise a 1 year old child with a father? He must daily provide attention to the baby, so that he feels his father's closeness and direct participation in his studies.
No matter how busy dad is, he should make time for the family, of course, if he loves her. Work in holidays- this is one thing, but a joint evening walk is a necessary thing.
Raising a child at a year and a half requires more attention to the baby, because he wants his mother to react to his actions. Now the tiny brain works like a computer, so don't be afraid to overload it. Most importantly, do not dismiss the baby's questions. Respond to him in an accessible way, react to his actions and successes, and praise.
More and more carefully it is necessary to approach the issue of safety: the baby still does not have a fear of heights, to sharp and hot objects. If the crumb falls off the chair, it will be more vigilant in the future. But there are things that are much more dangerous!
All children love fairy tales. It is the accessible language of a fairy tale that they understand more easily than the insipid speech of an adult. The role of fairy tales in the upbringing of children.
A hyperactive child is tireless: his legs and arms are constantly moving, trying to grope, grab, throw, break something. He does not know how to walk or.
Adolescence is considered one of the most difficult. The idea of parents that their child will soon become a teenager is troubling.