Test whether a man needs you. He can't keep his word. Magic rituals that allow you to recognize "your" person

The next stage, which I want to talk to you about in this article, is the beginning of a relationship!

As you get to know and meet men, you gradually choose someone with whom you will seriously continue your relationship. In this final phase, you too have three important steps to take.

The first step is to determine your type of man ...
and take a look at its opposite

If you begin to remember what type of men you like, attracts your attention, evokes sympathy, attracts, - often this type repeats the images of previous relationships or the image of a father.

Moreover, it happens that we have developed, for example, child stereotype that a man is cold, detached, and we are looking for the same men, we like it when they are so cold, mysterious. But in fact, it is not attracted to him, but to the image, which in childhood has sunk emotionally, and it is completely unrelated to building family relationships, but is simply associated with the childish image of a father or another man.

You've probably noticed that you like about the same type of men. Think about what attracts you in this type? It often happens that this type does not have the right qualities for a long-term relationship.

Or he can be a very active and sexually attractive, energetic, lively man, and you like that he is so sociable, active. But this, too, may resemble some kind of image from school, when you liked such a boy-leader, but he did not pay attention to you, and you are still trying to complete it subconsciously.

Therefore, specifically begin to recognize and pay attention to the type of men who have not attracted you before. Do not rush to say "no", go a little further, get to know this man a little closer.

Let me give you an illustrative example. One of my clients said: “One guy invited me to a restaurant, I sat and talked with him, and I got so bored, I didn't even know what to say to him, but he asked me, was interested, looked.

And suddenly it dawned on me that at that moment I was thinking about a man who does not pay attention to me, but I want to turn him around and conquer him. But right now, a man is sitting opposite me, who gives me attention, care, is interested in me, treats me with great respect.

And this is exactly what I need. "

We sometimes unknowingly choose the type of men who repeat our old story, and we do not see that there is a man in our environment who can give everything that is important to us. He just doesn't fit into the type that we have been still trying to conquer until now. Therefore, at the beginning of a relationship, it is important to start being interested in different types of men. ?

Second step - listen to the man

Indeed, at the stage of acquaintance and the beginning of a relationship, it is important to learn to be genuinely interested in men and listen to them in order to see a man, and not your cliche. Because often we immediately form some patterns, draw conclusions, but we cannot see a living, real man behind these patterns.

At this stage, you will need sincere respect and a vision of the virtues in every man. Learn to recognize a man, ask questions, listen carefully. Be as interested, curious as possible.

Really be surprised that such a unique person is in front of you, and let this interest be joyful, and not like an exam, let it be learning something new. Behind each person is the whole Universe, you can endlessly recognize a person.

He, too, changes every day, and the men with whom you began to get to know, in three days may open up from a completely different side. Most importantly, avoid templates, don't jump to conclusions. Give yourself time to get to know a man, but don't step into sexual relations until you get to know him more.

Communicate more, avoid virtual communication... It so happens that communication via the Internet takes a very long time, SMS - if this continues for too long, close this relationship or encourage a man to meet, and it is in a personal meeting on neutral territory, necessarily in public place(in a cafe, on the street, but not at home).

Get to know the man, ask him, ask any questions, be interested sincerely, realizing that he is the whole Universe. He has completed a whole life path, he has some kind of understanding of life, a certain goal, he also wants something in a relationship.

Be very careful with him inner peace and at the same time curious. Show respect and interest, be attentive to him, but remember and accept that he has merits and demerits.

Sometimes you can take the initiative and invite him somewhere. This is great because you want to understand him more. If he asks: "Why do you need this?" - You can speak directly about it: “I am interested in understanding you. You are really interesting to me as a man. I really want to understand what is important and interesting for you. "

It is really interesting to understand both a man and any other person.

To be continued...

Irina Petrova(www.irinapetrova.ru)

Lead Trainer of GRC-Centers for Relationships. For over 15 years he has been conducting trainings on creating personal relationships and on leadership.

“He was torn between two fires: he loved both his wife and his mistress, and he could not leave any of them. A week after receiving from Anatoly, I did not feel any desire to continue the relationship with my mistress. And why? After all, now I have Anatoly ... "

You can understand that a man suits a woman by his behavior and attitude towards her: does he respect her point of view, does he show his care, attention to her, etc. Does a woman feel comfortable in the presence of this man, that she is about him? thinks as he speaks?

If there are notes of irritation or disrespect in her behavior or voice, then this man is definitely not suitable for her. Future partner should cause only the very good and positive emotions, overwhelming feelings of joy and happiness from meeting this person.

Undoubtedly, in a relationship you need to listen to what your heart says, but you should not "lose your head" in this case. Love passions will pass quickly, and they will be replaced by a feeling of either a strong mutual love, or disappointment and resentment.

Once a perfect man met and ideal woman... Soon they got married, and their life was just as ideal. One night before Christmas, they were driving along a deserted street in their car, and suddenly they saw a man on the road who looked very tired. Since both the man and the woman were ideal, they could not help but offer help to this man, who, moreover, turned out to be Santa Claus with a bag of gifts.

The perfect man and the ideal woman put Santa Claus in her car to help him deliver gifts to the children, as they did not want dozens of children to be upset. But there was a severe blizzard and the road was almost not visible, the car had an accident, and only one of them managed to survive.

The question is: to whom exactly?

Answer: an ideal woman, since neither Santa Claus nor ideal men exist. Women should not read further, this is where the anecdote ends.

And here's a sequel for men. Since neither Santa Claus nor an ideal man exists, only an ideal woman could be behind the wheel, which caused the accident. And if you are a woman and you are still reading this anecdote, then this once again proves that women never listen to what they are told.

What if you are irresistibly attracted to the "inappropriate" person: another social status, with a different worldview, upbringing and habits? Or to someone who pushes you into the background, to the far shelf in a dusty closet, and gets you out from time to time when he wants to amuse his pride. Here, they say, there is a woman in the world on whom I spit from the high bell tower, but she still loves me tenderly and selflessly. Who watched the TV series "Sex in big city"? Remember how the relationship developed between the main character Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) with the man of her dreams (Chris Noth)? And everything became fine with them as soon as she got rid of her dependence on him and began to play other novels.

I suggest an option. Get distracted! Strengthen physical exercise, go to the fitness club, to the pool, to the dance school. Cycling, rollerblading, skiing, skating, do hiking, jog. Anything! But don't be humiliated! Or do not suffer from his ignorance, inability to behave in society, impassable obscurity and unrestrained selfishness. Understand: this is not an option! And it's a sin to waste your time on it, when somewhere there is a man suitable for you, who will carry you in his arms. And you will feel an inexplicable tenderness and sexual attraction towards him.

There are exceptions, but rarely. As, for example, in the film "In love with on their own". There, the hero of Oleg Yankovsky with the surname Bragin completely sank, leaving the big sport. He worked at the factory as a sharpener and drank soundly, because life was not particularly successful. Until he met Vera, an intellectual who does not feel her female attractiveness.

They set up an experiment and it worked. He believed in himself, and she blossomed. And then love broke out!

But, firstly, this is just a movie, not real life and, secondly, they both made efforts to fulfill mutual demands. That is, there is a nonzero probability that people will change and suit each other in a new capacity. However, do not rely on this!

A person is built in such a way that he can only change himself, of his own free will. Do not try to change and re-educate him. You are not Professor Henry Higgins from Bernard Shaw's immortal Pygmalion, which is based on the film My wonderful lady"With the dazzling Audrey Hepburn. Higgins was fortunate enough to teach the illiterate grubby street flower girl Eliza the correct speech and high-society manners and pass her off as a real lady... In front of the audience, Cinderella turns into a princess, and a convinced bachelor turns into a lover. Beautiful fairy tale!

It is better to look for a loved one in your circle after all. But at the same time, try to avoid people with a low emotional tone. Why do you grumble, grumpy, always dissatisfied with everything and find fault with everything? Look for optimists and hedonists!

Often there is another alignment, when a person who understands you perfectly, suits you in all respects, is positive from all sides, adores you and blows off dust particles from you, does not cause any sexual attraction... How to be? After all, you cannot order your heart! Yes Yes Yes! Quite true! And don't try to order. You, of course, can remain friends, but the hope that love will suddenly break out is scanty.

Or even worse: if he is impotent. Yes, kind, good, affectionate, sympathetic ... But not a man. Or with deviations, like the husband of Charlotte from "Sex and the City", who could masturbate on porno magazines, but did not get turned on by his beautiful wife.

There were three sisters-cats. The youngest is on the farm and two gulen. The youngest is tired of it. I decided to go out. The elders are waiting for her. One o'clock in the morning, two, three, five ... showed up at seven.
- Oh, sisters, I met a cat in red boots, handsome. As in the evening he pressed me to the basement doors and all night, all night ... he told how he was castrated five years ago.

Sexual relationships are very important and should not be neglected.

And if you make advances to a man you like, then it is useless to throw him and break off. You will not be lost. It is very important for men to feel sexually attractive and desirable. Men should be macho, they just need to know that they can make any woman happy.

A guy joins the party.
- You are not allowed to smoke now!
- I can't, so I won't!
- You can't drink now!
- Understood!
- Now you are not allowed to meet with women!
- Yes!
- Will you give your life for the game?
- Of course, what the hell is my life!

Do not disappoint men, do not breed misogynists! If you have given him hope, do not deceive his expectations. And if you feel that you are not ready for physical intimacy, make it clear right away. Tactful but firm. It didn't skip a beat, they say, nothing, I'm sorry, has no power over itself. You really can't do anything about it. Well this is chemistry. Smells, vibes, energy ... Out of mind!

And if there is a physical attraction, then do not forget about psychological compatibility... This is the main condition for a happy life together... because sexual partner it is not so difficult to find, but a person who understands and feels you - oh, how difficult it is ...

Look for your dual - a psychologically compatible partner, and everything will be fine with you.

Starting a new relationship can panic both sexes. But if young people are relatively calm about such romantic changes in life, then girls often plunge into deep thoughts. It seems to them that the person they like will turn out to be not at all a prince on a white horse, and not even a simple one. nice guy... They are tormented main question: "How to understand that a man suits you?" You do not need to go into heavy thoughts once again, you just need to read this article and decide for yourself whether this is the person, or it is worth looking a little more.

Psychological ways to understand that a man is right for you

Knowledge psychological aspects the difference between a man and a woman will give ease in relationships and the ability to "not bother"

The similarity of the way of thinking of a man and a woman, some features of the character of the chosen one and the attitude of the girl towards them - all this determines the psychological side of the question of understanding " suitable partner". At the same time, to assess compatibility, it is not at all necessary to have special knowledge from the field scientific psychology, it is enough to take a closer look at some of the details of his behavior and the girl's reaction to them.

Joint conversations

It happens that after meeting somewhere on the Internet, people agree to meet, but the man cannot say a word, does not support any conversation. At this point, you should not draw conclusions, they are most likely to be erroneous. If a person was cheerful in e-mail, then sooner or later he will become the same in live communication. He's just shy, a little confused!

People live in society, therefore, according to a person's ability to communicate, one can determine the degree of his socialization

But if over time the situation does not change, and the conversation does not go well, then life with such a man will be hard and boring, you need to run away from him. The reasons for this situation lie in:

• absence common interests;
• closedness of a man;
• the desire of a young man to hide something (it happens very rarely).

If you really like a man, you should try to bring him to straight Talk about the reasons constant care from the conversation, but this is unlikely to lead to something: it is one thing if he is just shy of the conversation, and another thing is the absence of common interests.

Comfort

Sometimes, in the presence of a person, a woman feels completely safe, under the cover of protection and care, surrounded by tenderness. That's what it is highest degree so-called comfort. This also includes the feeling of being protected from himself. Yes, on first dates timid girl may be afraid of a new man, which is quite rare, but if the feeling of anxiety does not go away long time(after 3-4 dates), then this man is definitely not suitable.

If there is a persistent feeling that at the beginning cohabitation something goes wrong, you better leave

A young man may have no idea real danger for a girl, she just doesn't relax with him. A man can be 1000 times good, beautiful and smart, but if there is such a flaw, then you can safely forget about the relationship with him, it will not lead to anything good. By the way, there is a direct link to common themes for the conversations mentioned above - if they are not there, then there will be no comfort.

The opportunity to spend time in silence

Finding the ideal is a long and difficult process

Well, if we are talking about the "candy-bouquet" period, constant communication is not just inevitable, it will only be a joy for both! But with the onset of family life together, the situation changes a little - in the evenings you want to sit in silence, and no one has canceled the work at home yet. It is necessary to assess whether a man is able to maintain a distance, that is, for some time not to violate his personal space. If a young man constantly shows signs of attention, needs constant communication, and it bothers you - forget about him. It's not his fault, it's just that your need for communication and attention does not match.

Thrift

A life together includes not only a holiday, fun and sex, it is also a joint life. If a partner cannot drive a nail into the wall, then he is not the best partner, although this cannot be called a determining factor - what if a young man earns very well, and he is able to hire a specialist to "drive the nail"? But if this is not so, then it is worth thinking hard, because a woman will have to take on some of the frankly masculine household responsibilities. All the more you need to think if a man “can, but does not want to,” that is, is lazy. It is almost impossible to deduce this character trait, and it is not necessary, let him live his own lazy life.

Thrift is a parameter by which the future partner should be assessed at the beginning of family life

Another thing is helping a woman in her affairs, for example, cooking, cleaning, washing. Refusing to help? Not a question, but let him earn enough to be enough for normal life, and to facilitate execution, typically female functions, for example, in the form of buying a good dishwasher... If not, then let him help. Segregation of duties - the right way for the held couple. To unambiguously assert about typically female prerogatives in everyday life in modern world stupid. Cooking or cleaning is done by someone with the time and skills. This path will greatly facilitate mutual understanding and allow the couple to spend more time with each other.

It's about the ability to save money, not outright greed. This implies a competent distribution of the budget. This is especially noticeable if a man does not turn over millions, or is even poor - he earns little, but lives well. This means that the young man is able to send his money to the right channel, you can trust him. Yes and career prospects these men are much nicer than the spenders.

The ability to save money and allocate a budget - great quality for a potential partner

It's important to remember - some guys try to show off on their first date. They lead to an expensive restaurant, give an expensive bouquet. At the same time, the money for the event was saved for about a week, after the end of the meeting the man will remain "empty". It is impossible to calculate this right away, but after two or three dates everything will fall into place. And here the main thing is not to make a mistake - it is a show-off or a desire to make it pleasant. If the second, then the person is most likely good, but not economical, and you need to run away from the first.

Sex

Well, what kind of relationship is without intimacy? But it is important to understand the intentions of the young person. From the first hours, or even minutes of acquaintance, does he talk about sex or hint at it? Then this is clearly not the case, although if a woman is not against such connections, then you can take the risk. But when aiming at a serious relationship, such a rush should be alarming. Probably, this man needs a girl only for sex, and it is good, if not one-time. Another option is that the young man is simply preoccupied, it may even be dangerous!

Own feelings, sympathy, skills - the criteria for choosing most girls

And here he is - the first romantic evening... There is only one criterion here - is it good with this person or not. It just feels like it. But emotional sympathy is indispensable, if it is not there, then the pleasure from the connection is unlikely to be obtained. But the skill of a man in bed at first can be ignored, perhaps he is simply inexperienced. Difficulties with an erection on the first intimate date can also be forgiven, a man is worried, and this is even good - it means he is serious. But if this continues all the time, then problems may arise over time. Talk to a man, find out if this has happened before and make a decision. You may need treatment, but most likely you will just need to get to know each other and "get used to".

Astrological signs of compatibility

Synastry is a kind of "science" capable of determining the compatibility of a man and a woman by the date of birth, the sign of the zodiac and some other astrological indicators. It is simply impossible to talk about all the criteria within the framework of one article, but in general outline the information is quite clear.

Star compatibility - subjective sign but many believe in him

• Date of Birth. This indicator determines compatibility in terms of the prospects for the development of relations. It's about the desire for change and the beginning of a new life. If a woman, according to this astrological criterion, does not want intimacy, but longs for windy connections, then the opposite man cannot do anything about it.
• Zodiac sign. This is the most common and important criterion... It determines compatibility in communication, in everyday life, in bed and even in joint rest... It must be said that in the past few years, the signs of the zodiac have ceased to play such a serious role in determining a person's personality - modern conditions life is forced to adapt to almost everything.

It is not recommended to draw up compatibility horoscopes on your own. An inexperienced "user" can make a bunch of mistakes in natal chart, which will invariably affect the fidelity of decision-making when choosing a man.

It is better to seek help from professional astrologers, of whom there are a lot of divorces now. There are a lot of scammers among them, so before you bring money to the "stargazer", read the reviews about his work. There are also online horoscopes that check the compatibility of men and women. Their accuracy is minimal, and they require a lot of money. You shouldn't draw conclusions based on such tests!

Signs that destroy the future

The above were considered the main criteria that determine the compatibility of men and women. But there are still a few additional features, which, although almost do not appear on early stage relationships in the future can become a serious problem.

For each person, the list of "compatibility" criteria is different - no need to sacrifice principles for the sake of passion

1. The man loves to drink. If the potential chosen one cannot imagine rest without a glass of vodka or a glass of beer, then in the future there is a risk of developing alcoholism.
2. A man is quick-tempered, easily goes into conflict. A balanced calm partner solves all problems peacefully, using force only as a last resort, and never shouts. If now he is "dusty" due to minor conflicts, then with the beginning of family life, especially after the "crisis of six months", he can start to let go.
3. The young man tries to show his importance by constantly throwing dust in his eyes. He will do this, instead of growing above himself, and pushing his family forward. In addition, such an approach to life will quickly ruin the relationship of a potential significant other with the girl's relatives and friends.
4. A man has no purpose in life, no hobby. FA woman will die out all her life together with him. In addition, such men like to drink "out of nothing to do", as already mentioned above.
5. A man doesn't like children. If the girl herself does not plan to give birth to a child, then there is nothing wrong with that, on the contrary - she will not constantly pester with talk about the "heir". Otherwise, there will be no future. Even if the baby is born, then the discord will only be a matter of time. However, after the appearance of the first child, some men dramatically change their attitude towards children.

You can put up with one of these signs, since over time it is possible to cope with such a deficiency. But if two or more are combined, then the relationship, unfortunately, is not worth starting.

A girl does not need to be frivolous about building relationships and choosing the man of her dreams. The least attention should be paid to astrological criteria, in some cases they simply do not work - "stellar" features come to naught under certain conditions of life. But here psychological moments should become the basis of choice. If a woman is not comfortable with a man, he does not give her personal space and does not want to put up with her cockroaches in her head, then the best solution will be looking for another life partner!

Nobody likes failure. This applies to work and family life and love. When meeting a new guy, you might feel like you were just made for each other. But after a few weeks, and sometimes even months or years, you come to the conclusion that you were mistaken and do not fit each other completely. And the time has already been spent, a habit to it could arise. And the longer you've been together, the harder it is to break up. There are special signals that help girls understand that a guy is not suitable without spending a lot of time on the relationship.

Several signs

He's lying to you

You should not forgive and hope that this was the last time, and the guy will definitely change. There is a huge chance that having lied to you once, he will do it again, having come up with some new story... Relationships should be built on the sincerity and trust of the partners. And if one of them is constantly lying, then it is unlikely that a strong union will turn out from these relations.

You have to save him

It can be anything from debt and constant failure in life to alcoholism and drug addiction. You shouldn't choose a partner with huge amount problems. Because he will constantly pull you down with him. You need a man who will strive for the best with you and be able to cope with his problems.

You have no love for him

At first glance, everything is obvious, if there is no love, why build a relationship with this person at all. However, many girls just tell themselves that they love this guy, or enter into relationships for another reason. For example, he loves her, he will always be with her and will not betray her. Therefore, even despite the dislike, the girl continues to be in such a relationship. In other words, she believes that it is better to have a man who is in love with her than to be alone and dream of one who will not be with her.

He is sexist

In other words, he is of the opinion that a woman and a man are not equal. He believes in the superiority of men over girls and discrimination against women. And if you decide to be with such a man, then it will be difficult for you. He will not appreciate what you do for him, whatever it is. He will not help you because he divides everything into masculine and feminine. And also it is unlikely that he will ask your opinion, or even more advice on any matter.

You are not a priority for him.

He can say anything, including the fact that you are the most precious and important thing he has. But you need to look at his actions. If they say otherwise, then this guy is not for you. For him, his own affairs, friends and work are more important than you. He can constantly change your plans, but not change his own. All of this could mean that he just isn't considering you for long. Serious relationships and family.

Everyone does not support your relationship

Of course, if you constantly pay attention to the opinions of others and rely only on them, you will not be able to build normal relationship... However, if your close friends and family say that they do not like this guy and you should not build a relationship with him, you should think about it. After all, a person in love cannot always notice that something is wrong with his partner. Your loved ones will not necessarily be right, but you should still take a closer look at young man better.

He treats the waiters hard

Be sure to pay attention to how the guy behaves in a cafe or restaurant. Worthy man respects everyone, and will not look down on someone. If a guy communicates with the waiters in a dismissive and rude manner, then over time he may begin to be rude to you.

Your relationship is too serious

You can have many common interests, you always have something to talk about, and you enjoy spending time with each other. But it is bad if, at the same time, there is absolutely no humor in the relationship. After all, it is with his help that you can solve some situations, as well as defuse the situation when everyone is tense. Any union needs humor, irony and laughter. Otherwise, you will simply get bored with constant problems and serious conversations.

He's always dissatisfied with something

No matter what and no matter what happens, he will definitely find a catch in this. He always doesn't like something, something interferes, and so on. In other words, he is just a pessimist, accustomed to seeing everything around only in dark colors... Next to him, your mood will constantly deteriorate, and there can be no talk of any positive. For him, everything is not so and everything is bad.

He is not the initiator

The guy never offers anything, does not organize, and so on. You may have romantic evenings, but only if you take everything into your own hands and do it yourself. At first glance, it may seem that there is nothing wrong with this. But this is only at the beginning. Then you just get tired of it. You will need to do everything yourself and offer everything yourself and decide everything yourself.

There are some more signals that can tell you that this man is definitely not suitable for you and that you should not waste your time on him.

He tries to improve you

It seems that there is nothing wrong with the fact that your partner wants you to become better. The whole question is how he does it and how he presents it. If he literally day and night criticizes your appearance, character, habits and directly declares your shortcomings, demanding that you fix everything, it is better not to continue this relationship. A man should love a woman for who she is, putting up with some habits and shortcomings, and the woman will reciprocate.

Man miser

From him you are unlikely to ever wait expensive gift or surprise. He will not even consider offers to buy for an apartment, for example, new furniture. And after you start living together, he will control all your expenses. And it can make you accountable for literally every penny.

He does not know how to compromise

Quarrels happen to everyone. And many married couples agree that in a relationship it is important to learn to compromise and yield. Only then can you solve the problem and continue the relationship, and not accumulate resentment and swear. But building a relationship with a man who cannot make concessions is difficult. After all, you will have to constantly and in everything do as he wants, or continue to swear.

He changes

Each woman decides for herself whether she can forgive the betrayal and continue to live with this man or not. However, if he began to cheat on you even before the wedding, then with a high degree of probability he will continue to cheat on you, no matter how much you forgive him. There are cases when infidelity was no longer repeated, but this is rare. Having failed to refuse another woman once, he may not say “No” the next time.

The guy "mom's son"

If you decide on a relationship with such a man, be prepared for the fact that his mother will always be present in your life. He will get into your problems family life, teach you. She will always be in the first place for him, for her sake he will give up any business. It is to her that she will go to complain about you. Think about whether you need such a man.

He can't keep his word

If he constantly promises you something and does not fulfill it, be prepared that this can last a lifetime if you decide to start a family with him. He will always find excuses for himself, believing that his affairs are much more important than yours. He is unlikely to fulfill your requests, because he may simply forget about them. But in reality, he simply does not want to be responsible for the promises made.

This guy can be seen from afar. The "man-lover" is independent and daring. At the same time, he manifests himself gallant gentleman, knows how to behave next to a woman so that she feels like number one. Women immediately pay attention to the "man-lover". He is afraid of obligations and avoids them. It is easy to scare him with the words "wedding", "child", "parents", "future". He will be adorable in bed and can be a very pleasant companion, but he will never allow you to claim your freedom, and you don't need it.

If you choose a "man-lover", then you accept the terms of the game, when everyone is for himself. He will not go to change your wheel (he has a lot of things to do, and even if not, you will not find out about it simply because it will not occur to you to ask him about it, because there is special services). More than anything in the world he worries about himself. If today is your type, then we add only one thing: a relationship without responsibility is an irresponsible relationship. What can happen? A “man-lover” can “go into the fog”, disappear for no apparent reason, without any explanation, not pick up the phone. You will never know what really happened. What else? An attachment may occur that will push him away very quickly.