Study of the level of formation of the values of family life in the minds of senior schoolchildren. Family planning. We and Society

07.05.2019

With this test, you will know if you are ready for family life or you shouldn't rush into your relationship with your partner.

Answer questions and statements. Answer quickly, without hesitation "yes", "no" or "sometimes."

Questionnaire text.

1. Do you agree with the statement that family and family relationships are more important than friendship, friends and companionship?
2. Do you think you should continue to work in your profession after marriage?
3. Don't you think that a family is without children, that a house is without an owner?
4. Do all of your acquaintances praise the dishes you cook?
5. Do you intend to share all your secrets and secrets with your partner in the future?
6. Do you think your parents' marriage was a success?
7. Do you approve of the idea of a so-called "trial marriage"?
8. Do you find premarital relationships reprehensible and unacceptable?
9. Are you ready to forgive cheating on your partner?
10. Can you claim to be condescending and tolerant of the shortcomings of others?
11. Are you ready to share your partner's hobbies?
12. Do you tend to exaggerate the merits of those you love?
13. Do you think your partner's work will be less important than yours?
14. Are you confident that you will enjoy taking care of everyday little things?
15. If you are treated with courtesy and delicacy, can you give in?
16. Do you always know exactly what worries your partner at the moment?
17. Do certain habits of your partner often irritate you?
18. Do you find it difficult to communicate with your partner's parents?
19. When talking about children, do you scowl or shift the conversation to another topic?
20. You can't live a day without each other?
21. Are you honest with your partner when you talk about your own problems and shortcomings?
22. Do you think your partner could be a little prettier and smarter?
23. Is it easier for you to imagine your future without a career than without a family?
24. Don't you think that you seriously thought about marriage only after your mother approved of your choice?
25. Does your harmony reach the point that you evaluate the actions of your friends and acquaintances equally?
26. Does your partner's desire to please not only you irritate you?

Test results.
Calculate the accumulated amount of points (SB) using the key:

1.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
2.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
3.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
4.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
5.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
6.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
7.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
8.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 0
9.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
10.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
11.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
12.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
13.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
14.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
15.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
16.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
17.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
18.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
19.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
20.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
21.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
22.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
23.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
24.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
25.yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
26.yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0

The readiness factor (KG) for marriage is calculated by the formula:

KG = (SB: 52) x 100%
For example, if you scored 23 points, then KG = (23:52) x100% = 0.442x100% = 44.2%
This means that you are 44% ready for marriage. Should you rush?

0 - 20 points - unwillingness to marry.
21 - 38 points - partial readiness for family life.
39 - 52 points - readiness for marriage.

If the test results upset you, don't be discouraged. After all, any test is considered as a guide to action. Perhaps you just lack confidence in yourself, trust in your partner, and life experience. All in your hands!

("Psychological tests for all occasions")

Proceedings of the DGPU, No. 1, 2007

MORAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL PREPAREDNESS

TO FAMILY LIFE OF STUDENTS OF CORRECTIVE EDUCATIONAL

ESTABLISHMENTS OF TYPE VIII

Dagestan State Pedagogical University

There are several levels in the moral readiness of students of type VIII correctional educational institutions for family life. The first group with a high level of readiness includes 5.4% of students. They understand how important it is to build family relationships based on mutual respect, their ideas about family values and spouses are adequate. The second group of students (54.6%) is not fully aware of the importance of the family. Their knowledge is fragmentary and subjective. They do not have adequate self-esteem and strive for self-education. The third group of students (40.6%) has a low level of readiness to start a family. Their knowledge is primitive and superficial, and some of them do not meet the moral standards of the modern family.

The moral readiness of pupils of correctional and educational institutions for family life is divided into several levels. The 1st group with high level of readiness includes 5.4% pupils. They realize how it is important to build the family relationships on the basis of mutual respect, they have adequate ideas about family ideals and marriage partner. The 2nd group of pupils (54.6%) do not completely realize the meaning of the family. Their knowledge is fragmentary and personal. They can’t value themselves enough and aspire to the self education. The 3rd group of pupils (40.6%) has low level of readiness for creating the family. Their knowledge is primitive and superficial and some of them do not correspond to moral norms of modern family.

Key words: social adaptation, mentally retarded schoolchildren, motives for marriage, marriage and family relations, readiness for family life, family strength criteria, family-role relationships.

Keywords: social adaptation, mentally handicapped schoolchildren, motives for marriage, marriage-familial relations, readiness for familial life, criteria of familial

strength, familial-role relations.

The social adaptation of a person in society requires from him a variety of knowledge and skills necessary both in the production and non-production spheres. On

the formation of mentally retarded students of the knowledge and skills necessary in family life, in addition to environmental factors, is also influenced by purposeful work to prepare the future family man,

carried out at school. Its effectiveness, first of all, is associated with overcoming the influence of the characteristics of the social development of students, which complicates the formation of this quality, and the full use of the possibilities of the educational process, which are conducive to the preparation of mentally retarded boys and girls for family life.

We proceeded from the assumption that future spouses, newlyweds should have knowledge in the following areas:

Moral and psychological,

Medical and hygienic.

In the literature, we have found two approaches to defining the essence of the concept of readiness for family life. The first focuses on the establishment of readiness for the final result - the success of marriage, harmony of interpersonal relationships in the family, the correct upbringing of children. Due to the lack of the possibility of a quick assessment of the results of upbringing, which are so delayed in time, most researchers insist on determining the moral readiness of students for family life before they get married, which is pedagogically more expedient.

So, if we take the second approach as a fundamental and judge the readiness for family life before starting family and marriage relations(i.e., without having verified data on the real behavior of graduates as subjects of the system within family relations), then the question naturally arises about the criteria for such readiness. The necessary criteria for the moral and psychological readiness of students for an independent family life are:

The presence of ideas about the ideal of family life;

Assessing yourself as a future family man;

Knowledge about the moral and psychological foundations of family life, ways of family relationships, their regulation and control;

Relevant moral feelings facilitating relationships in the marriage and family environment, increasing the stability of marriage (empathy, sympathy, responsibility, responsiveness, sociability, compliance, tolerance, and others);

Moral behavior that determines the attitude towards parents, members of the opposite sex and other people.

Questionnaire survey of high school students of special (correctional) schools VIII species was primarily aimed at identifying moral and psychological readiness for family life in an ethnic society. In total, 118 pupils of 8-9 grades of specialized boarding schools in Makhachkala and Derbent were interviewed.

In accordance with the developed criteria, as well as with the help of a written survey based on a standardized questionnaire, we investigated the level of readiness of high school students for an independent family life.

Let's move on to analyzing the results of our research.

To the question: “From what sources do you get knowledge about married life? " responses were received as highlighted in Table 1.

Table 1

Sources of awareness of mentally retarded students about marriage and family relations (in%)

Number Sources of information on family and marriage relations

of respondents 118 books movies and films friends and acquaintances own observations teacher's parents other sources

Boys 60 2.7 15.6 41.6 14.3 10.4 11.7 3.7

Girls 58 3.7 17.0 37.3 11.7 11.3 19.0

Proceedings of the DGPU, No. 1, 2007

Analysis of the data showed that teachers, schools became sources of information on issues marriage and family relations, love only for the sixth part of high school students, and peers, friends occupy a leading place in this information.

It is important to note that the knowledge in the field of intimate relationships, family and marriage, acquired by high school students in free communication groups, is often one-sided maximalist, distorted, but, as a rule, it is assimilated firmly. The cultivation of a cynical attitude towards friendship and love is reflected in the formation of an irresponsible attitude of young people towards the choice of a future life partner, the creation of a family.

It turned out that 11.3% of mothers talk with girls, mainly about the rules of personal hygiene. 10.4% of mothers do this kind of work with boys. Fathers in these conversations, as a rule, do not take part, occasionally limiting themselves to moralizing. Many parents avoid talking with their children about the consequences of early sexual intercourse, sexually transmitted diseases, etc. This circumstance confirms our assumption that parental families of mentally retarded children, most of whom are dysfunctional, are not able to convey timely, complete, scientific knowledge about the family, although they have personal life experience. For 17% of students, the source of information about this area of knowledge turned out to be television, cinema, in connection with which they have scattered information about various aspects of family life.

Mentally retarded perceptions

Combined with the child's own observations (14.3%), they constitute a certain stock of initial fragmentary knowledge, which only with the help of a teacher can be combined into a more harmonious system.

During the survey, the students answered the question about their readiness for family life.

A significant part of girls (43.4%) believes that they are well acquainted with family and marriage issues; there were no such people among young men. Boys specifically (35%), in their opinion, do not follow the source of information on the problems of marriage and family relations, in what way they differ from girls, a significant part of girls showed an increased interest in this side human relations, which is explained by the desire to start a family.

Thus, significant

some of the schoolchildren answered this question in the affirmative, which to a certain extent should be regarded as an overestimated self-esteem, inadequacy of ideas about various aspects of family life, or a lack of knowledge about the most important aspects of marriage and family relations. This reflects the fact that some students overestimate their capabilities, approach the creation of a family irresponsibly.

The central position in the ideas of mentally retarded high school students about their future family life is occupied by the question of the moral foundations of the creation and functioning of a family. The motives that, according to students, influence the decision of young people to start a family, are presented in table 2.

table 2

on the leading motives for marriage (in%)

Motives for marriage Boys Girls

a) the desire to live with a loved one 33.8 32.1

b) fear of being alone 2.5 1.9

c) the beauty of the husband (wife) 26 35.8

d) human qualities of a wife (husband): attentiveness, kindness, etc. 4 3.7

Psychological and pedagogical sciences

e) desire to have a family 27.2 17

f) desire to have children 4 7.5

g) the desire to take care of loved ones, loved ones 2.5 2

According to our data, the leading place in predicting the motivation for marriage, according to 33.8% of boys and 32.1% of girls, is "the desire to live with a loved one." An orientation toward a love marriage is more often manifested among high school students from single-parent families. Moreover, most adolescents assume that love is not only a necessary, but also a sufficient condition for future family happiness. Moreover, the personal meaning of love as the basis of marriage for mentally retarded high school students from single-parent families is largely determined by their desire to compensate for the emotional discomfort they experience in parental family... At the same time, the resulting distribution of motives in the op-

To some extent reflects the students' own intentions. This is evidenced by the correlation of such motives as "the desire to create a family", "the desire to have children." Mentally retarded adolescents attach significant importance to the appearance of the future chosen one, while underestimating the importance of psychological and moral maturity.

The combination of this aspiration with insufficient personal maturity and a lack of full-fledged life experience increases the likelihood of the formation of inadequate, idealized ideas about family life in high school students of special (correctional) schools of the VIII type in comparison with normally developing peers.

Table 3

The main criteria for the strength of the family (in%).

Family values Boys Girls

a) material well-being 7.8 9.5

b) mutual understanding 11.7 5.6

c) love 39 39.6

d) the presence of children 3.9 5.7

e) unity of interests 6.4 -

f) health of family members 20.8 22.6

g) fair distribution domestic work 10,4 17

We were interested in the answers of the students to the question of what criteria are the main ones for the preservation and strength of the family. The choice of criteria can be judged by the results presented in Table 3.

It is important to note that the indicators characterizing the orientations of young men and women to the values of family life listed below differ in the groups of mentally retarded high school students from different types of parental families.

Moreover, according to the level of formation of value orientations on the importance

The strongest foundations of family strength are young men and women from prosperous families that surpass their peers from families with a low level of moral relations between parents. So, students from families with a high level of moral and psychological relations attach greater importance to the love of spouses, as the basis happy marriage, mutual understanding in the family is assessed more favorably in comparison with schoolchildren from disadvantaged families. The choice of high school students from disadvantaged families of such a criterion for the strength of the family,

Proceedings of the DGPU, No. 1, 2007

as material well-being, can indicate difficult material conditions life in the parental family.

As for the rest of the criteria for the strength of a family, the views of both groups do not differ significantly.

The health of family members was recognized as the basis for family preservation by 22.6% of girls and 20.8% of boys. On the issue of a fair division of labor in family life, the views of boys and girls differed significantly. 17% of girls and 10.4% of boys are supporters fair division labor. Children, according to students, least of all influence the strengthening of marriage and family relations. This statement is formed in adolescents under the influence of the parental family, where a mentally retarded child does not receive due attention, care, motherly warmth, loses "mental comfort", "a sense of security", growing up in an incomplete family or in an atmosphere of rude, disrespectful relations between parents.

Students from the experimental classes were asked the question: “What traits of your character can prevent you from creating happy family? ". In many of the answers given by adolescents, there was a positive assessment of their personal qualities, the desire to approve it by repeated repetition of “I don’t bad qualities". In the answers of another part of high school students

Representations of Mentally Retarded Pads /

there were judgments of a negative nature, attempts to treat oneself critically, adequately. Among the possible hindrances to the creation of a family, "rudeness" and "laziness" were mainly named. Few adolescents identified the following negative traits of their character: "stubbornness", "jealousy", "inattention", "injustice", "greed", "resentment". Moreover, the girls turned out to be more demanding of themselves, as future wife than young men to themselves, as a future husband. Note that the girls in their own characteristics indicated enough a large number of negative qualities that, in their opinion, may affect the well-being of the future family.

From the above moral characteristics it is clear that the image-"I" in mentally retarded students is somewhat idealized. It is alarming that a significant part of the pupils of the special (correctional) school of the VIII type are not aware of the negative traits of their personality. And this, in turn, negatively affects the regulation of their own behavior in relation to the people around them, which is especially important in the life of the family team.

In the course of the study, we also paid attention to the study of the ideas of mentally retarded adolescents about the distribution of roles in the family. Results of answers to the question: "What, in your opinion, should be the relationship between spouses?" are presented in table 4.

) in about family and role relationships (in%)

Family relationships Boys Girls

a) the wife is subordinate to her husband 62.3 15.1

b) the husband submits to his wife 6.4 52.8

c) equality and mutual concessions 18.2 20.8

d) respect and trust 13.1 11.3

It turned out that for many girls, the attitude towards leadership is typical.

into women in the family. Boys like

Psychological and pedagogical sciences

as a rule, the role of a leader in family life is assigned to a man.

This position is generally held by boys and girls from single-parent families. Indeed, it is in an incomplete family that there is often no model of male behavior that stimulates the formation of a male role in boys and a prototype of a partner for girls. Accordingly, an example of the personal life of a mother disillusioned with her ex-husband has strong impact on the daughter, which further affects the performance of her role as a wife. Comparing the results of the respondents' answers, we see that in a number of judgments there are attempts to approach the understanding of family relations as harmonious, based on respect and trust, equality and mutual concessions.

The answers of adolescents to questions about what they consider to be the business of a woman (man) in the family are indicative. A great similarity in the views of boys and girls was observed in the assessment of the household duties of men and women in family life. The students' answers testify to the importance of the economic function of spouses for them. The views of boys and girls are differentiated according to the principles of distribution job responsibilities in family. Most young men transfer the primacy in the conduct and execution of household chores to a woman, leaving the man with the function of an assistant, mainly in the purchase of food and the repair of household appliances. Some young men (20%) found a willingness equally with future wife participate in the execution of any homework, denying the division of responsibilities into "male" and "female". It is the woman who is the teenage boy who has the primary responsibility for family, organization and housekeeping.

Among girls, there are more of those who expect from a man (a future spouse

ha) equal participation in the economic life of the family. However, in 35% of cases, girls assign the woman the role of head of the family both in organizing, distributing, and performing work duties in the family. The overwhelming majority of girls believe that it is equally the responsibility of both parents to take care of the child and to raise it. Some young men (28.5%) of women entrust childcare and the responsibility for raising children (42.8%).

Thus, the majority of mentally retarded high school students give preference to the situational distribution of household duties. Pupils of special (correctional) schools of the VIII type are not sufficiently focused on such a distribution of everyday roles, which would take into account the psychological characteristics of men and women, as well as the personal inclinations and individual characteristics of the spouses.

It turned out that girls from two-parent families made more demands on a man in terms of performing household duties in the family than their peers from single-parent families. The limited understanding of the roles of “master” and “mistress” among mentally retarded students from single-parent families is explained by the absence of a primary model of the family with its family and household relationships, in which the rights and obligations of spouses are manifested.

We asked the tested adolescents the question: "What kind of housework is your responsibility?" The overwhelming majority answered that they take part in housework (65.4%). At the same time, a significant part of the respondents live in rural areas, with their own subsidiary plots. Therefore, the answers of high school students were distributed as follows:

a) assistance in performing work on the care of the home and family members: cleaning the apartment, washing the clothes,

Proceedings of the DGPU, No. 1, 2007

shopping for food, cooking and other household chores;

b) participation in the cultivation of a garden plot: planting garden plantings, weeding vegetables, watering plants, harvesting, etc .;

c) activities in the backyard: caring for pets, storing feed, and more.

It should be noted that 48.4% of boys and girls do their homework forcibly. Approximately 34.6% of girls and boys do not consider family activities their own business, showing the low quality of involvement in the system of intrafamily relations.

Depending on the attitude to family work, we divided the students into 3 groups:

1. Those who have a positive attitude towards domestic work (6.8% of boys, 10.4% of girls). These students consider mandatory maintenance by all family members of the household as it contributes to the strength of the family. These children have ongoing responsibilities that they systematically fulfill.

Characteristic of etalosh

2. Indifferently related to domestic work (27% of boys, 21.5% of girls). The girls and boys of this group, although they take part in domestic work, are forced to do so when adults demand it from them.

3. Negatively disposed towards domestic work (25.4% of boys, 9.3% of girls). Representatives of this group do not understand the content of domestic work, consider it uninteresting, do not participate in it, because they do not have time or are simply lazy.

Based on the analysis of the questionnaire survey, we also came to the conclusion that there is a significant difference in the groups of high school students differentiated by the typology of parental families. Students who are brought up in prosperous families, more willingly and significantly more often help parents in housekeeping compared to children from families with a low level of moral relations between parents.

Table 5

qualities of the future spouse

Qualities absolute rank percentage rank indicator (boys)

Kindness 1 15.5

Beauty 2 14.3

Thrift 3 13

Love for husband 4 11.7

Respect 5 11.7

Fidelity 6 10.4

Accuracy 7 6.4

Tenderness 8 5.3

Mindfulness 9 5.2

Mutual assistance 10 4

Other qualities 11 2.5

Table 6

Characteristics of the reference qualities of the future spouse

Qualities absolute rank percentage rank indicator (female)

Beauty 1 19

Kindness 2 17

Sense of humor 3 13.2

Psychological and pedagogical sciences

Industriousness 4 11.3

Accuracy 5 9.4

Tenderness 7 7.5

Perception 8 5.7

Good manners 9 3.8

Ability to take care of the family 10 3.8

Other qualities 11 1.8

We set the task to study the content of mentally retarded students' ideas about the reference qualities of a future marriage partner.

The subjects were asked to answer the question: "What, in your opinion, should be the ideal spouse (s)?" We have ranked the qualities in descending order of the fixing frequency. The rank sequence of qualities is highlighted. In the structure of the image of the future chosen one, adolescents noted the following components: features of appearance, personal qualities, economic skills and abilities. The results of the responses are presented in tables 5,6.

Qualities such as beauty, kindness, sense of humor, hard work are the most significant reference qualities of a future life partner, from the point of view of the respondents. The following qualities are noticeably less important: intelligence, strength, tenderness, accuracy. In the system of communicative qualities, in the opinion of girls, love and respect for a wife occupies a high rank. An insignificant part of adolescents understands that a general culture is important in love: good breeding, the ability to be attentive, polite, affectionate. Among the significant personal qualities of a young man, fidelity is considered as an important requirement for each other in marriage. According to some of the subjects, an essential component in family life is the spouse's ability to lead a sober lifestyle, as well as the wife's ability to take care of her

attractiveness, to be "well-groomed".

The analysis of the answers received indicates a certain one-sidedness of the students' understanding of the problems of communication between a man and a woman. Only a few people indicated that love includes helping each other, showing concern for other family members. But mutual assistance is also the fulfillment of certain household duties, but, above all, a direct and unceasing interest in the life of another.

The study of the descriptions of the image of the future spouse allows us to notice that adolescents from families with an unfavorable psychological climate he is more idealized as a result of negative life experiences. High school students from single-parent families show insufficient content and little differentiation of ideas about their future marriage partner. Young men and women from morally prosperous families have better orientations towards raising children by both spouses. They more adequately assess the role of family education in personality formation.

Consequently, the lack of formation of ideas about a husband (wife) as a spouse and a family man among mentally retarded schoolchildren entails an inadequacy of ideas about marriage and family life in general.

The presence of the ideal of family life among students (in%)

Table 7

Proceedings of the DGPU, No. 1, 2007

Perfect family Boys Girls

a) parents 2.6 7.6

b) relatives 17 13.2

c) movie heroes, books 6.5 11.3

d) good friends 11.6 15.1

e) created in dreams 36.3 28.3

f) find it difficult to answer 26 24.5

The structure and characteristics of the life of parental families have an impact on the image of the future husband (wife) created by adolescents. The above is confirmed by the students' answers to the question "Which family is an example, an ideal for you at the present time?" (Table 7).

The data obtained indicate that the number of respondents who named the parental family as an ideal and identified the life activity of the future family with the parental one was only 7.6%. Difficulties of almost a third of students in answering this question indicate lack of formation, fuzziness

the ideal of family life; extremely low influence on its formation of literature. For many high school students, the model of family and marriage relations is an imaginary family, and in real life an example is the families of relatives and acquaintances.

So, by processing the questionnaires filled out by the students, the protocols of the conversations, we were able to obtain a quantitative expression of the levels of the moral-psycho-logical readiness of mentally retarded high school students for family life.

In accordance with the data obtained, 3 levels were identified - high, medium, low.

The group with a high level of moral and psychological readiness for family life included 5.4% of senior students of special (correctional) schools of the VIII type. They are characterized by sufficiently complete

knowledge about the role of the family in the life of a person and society. They understand the need to build family relationships on the basis of mutual respect, understanding, trust, goodwill. These students have adequate, real ideas about the ideal of a family, a marriage partner. They are characterized by the desire to improve their knowledge of marriage, family, an inherent need to acquire experience, skills and abilities necessary for future family life.

Mentally retarded students with an average level of moral and psychological readiness for family life (54.6%) are characterized by incomplete awareness of the importance of the family for the development of the individual and the functioning of society. Their knowledge of the moral foundations of the family is fragmentary, not personally significant enough. Realizing the need for mutual assistance, respect, understanding in relationships between people, the students of this group themselves do not always know how to show them. They have inaccurate ideas about the ideal of the family, the future marriage partner. Young men and women with an average level of formation of the moral foundations of family life have insufficiently developed self-esteem and a desire for self-education.

The third group included 40% of students with a low level of moral and psychological readiness. The mentally retarded senior pupils of this level have distorted ideas about the role of the family in the life of society and its significance for the development of the individual. Knowledge about

Psychological and pedagogical sciences

the moral foundations of family life are superficial, primitive, and for some they do not meet the moral standards of a modern family. In joint activities with persons of the opposite sex, they are distinguished by irresponsibility, tactlessness, inability to reckon with the opinions, interests, habits of others. The ideas about the ideal of the family, the future chosen one are not formed, they are far from reality, the desire to engage in self-education does not manifest itself.

low medium high level level

Rice. 1. The quantitative expression of the levels of moral and psychological readiness

mentally retarded high school students to family life

The results of this study are shown in Fig. 1.

Thus, the low level of orientation of mentally retarded schoolchildren in issues related to gender relations, relations between spouses, the protection of their own health and the health of others, a lack of life experience are the result of the fact that clearly insufficient attention is paid to the issues of preparing children for starting a family. Therefore, it is obvious that it is necessary to introduce into the program on social and domestic orientation additional information on such sections as "Medical care", "Personal hygiene", "Family", "Culture of behavior", contributing to the preparation of the younger generation for family life. It is extremely important to identify the most effective forms work with parents on the issues of introducing them to an understanding of the problems of family and marriage, increasing the psychological

pedagogical culture, inclusion of children in various spheres of family life.

Notes (edit)

1. Azarov Yu.P. Family Pedagogy: Pedagogy of Love and Freedom. - M .: Topikal, 1994 .-- 607 p. 2. Grebennikov I.V. The basics of family life. - M .: Education, 1991 .-- 96 p. 3. Denisova E.N. Formation of ideas about intersexual and family-role relationships of mentally retarded adolescents in the process of correctional education and upbringing: Author's abstract. dis. ... Cand. pedagogical sciences. - M., 1998 .-- 19 p. 4. Zubkov V.N. Didactic foundations of interaction between educational institutions and families in preparing the younger generation for family life: Author's abstract. dis. ... Cand. ped. sciences. - M., 1996 .-- 25 p. 5. Karvilis V.Yu. About families of former pupils special schools for abnormal children // Defectology. No. 4. 1975. - S. 28-34. 6. Pavlova N.P. SBO system for secondary school students // Defectology. No. 1. 1991. - S. 53-58. 7. Raku A.I. The interaction of the kindergarten and the family in social adaptation students. - Chisinau, 1982 .-- 143 p. 8. Saidov T.G. Preparing young people for family life. - Makhachkala, 1989 .-- 77 p. nine. Social and household orientation in special (correctional) educational institutions of the VIII type: A guide for teachers // T.A. Devyatkova, L.L. Kochetova, A.G. Petrikov et al. / Ed. A.M. Shcherbakova. - M .: Vlados, 2003 .-- 302 p. 10. Suvorova A.G. The problem of preparing young people for an independent family life // Sociological problems of education and upbringing. - M .: Pedagogy, 1973 .-- S. 182-207. 11. Cherepanova I.I. Pedagogical conditions for increasing the socially adaptive capabilities of students with intellectual disabilities: (On the example of teaching economic geography): Author's abstract. dis. ... Cand. ped. sciences / Uralsk, state. ped. university - Yekaterinburg, 2002 .-- 23 p. 12. Shtilbans V.I. The culture of marriage. - M .: Knowledge, 1990 .-- 16 p. 13. Shcherbakova A.M., Moskalenko

Proceedings of the DGPU, No. 1, 2007

N.V. Formation of social competence among senior pupils of special educational institutions of Vlll-ro type // Defectology. 2001. No. 3. - P.19. and No. 4. - P.31.

The urgency of the problem of moral and sexual education is obvious. Teenage and adolescent sexuality has always been a concern for adults, especially parents and educators. The crisis is also observed in the very institution of the family, as evidenced by statistics.

The reasons for this phenomenon are complex and heterogeneous. There are a number of objective reasons that can only be influenced through global changes in the economy and society. On the other hand, the family is a complex, changeable psychological system capable of self-development and self-improvement. Among psychological reasons family crisis refers to the lack of preparation of young people for marriage: lack of knowledge in the field of family relations; undeveloped sexual, social and family roles, the pressure of negative social stereotypes; insufficient level of culture of interpersonal relations. Most of the existing programs do not adequately take into account all three aspects of moral and sexual education. Some of them are simply outdated.

The program is designed for 44 hours and is intended for high school students (14-17 years old).

The aim of the program is to form the foundations of a psychological and moral culture of relationships between a man and a woman, on the one hand, and parents and children, on the other.

Objectives of the program:

1. Raising awareness of the legal, physiological, psychological, cultural and historical foundations of family relations.

2. Creation of conditions for understanding your personality, awareness of your gender, social and family roles, acceptance of yourself and others.

3. Mastering the primary skills of effective communication at different levels.

The authors of the program tried to model, in chronological order, those communication zones, which each must master harmoniously. developed personality: blood family, peers of the same sex, peers of the opposite sex, future family... The program talks about what to be like in order to create a happy family, and, on the other hand, conditions are created under which the participants understand what to do to make the future family happy.

The study of the effectiveness of the program, which showed that "Family Studies" was highly appreciated by teachers, participants in the methodological training: average rating 9.5 on a 10-point scale. The program was especially highly rated in terms of: relevance, practical benefit, manufacturability (sufficiency for practical application), scientific validity.

The program of moral and sexual education was carried out with students in grades 10-11 in 2003-2004 and 2004-2005 academic years... Classes on the program showed:

Students have a significantly increased level of awareness of the topic;

Children learn to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, express their own feelings, understand and accept other points of view;

They are aware of their own family stereotypes and attitudes of relations between a man and a woman, husband and wife and parents and children.

High school students are greatly interested in classes about relationships between family members, which are held in the "Family" block: there is a deep inner work on understanding their own family stereotypes and attitudes of the relationship between husband and wife, children and parents. For obvious reasons, students are especially interested in talking about sexual relations. According to the results of observations and feedback from students after classes in the "Medical Block", the level of awareness among students is significantly increased, the taboo regarding the topic of sex is removed; high school students begin to realize their responsibility for starting a sexual relationship; students choose responsible sexual behavior.

The greatest emotional response of students was caused by the lesson "The main wonder of the world", dedicated to the most intimate in a person's life - the birth of a child. After this lesson, the children realize how important the birth experience is for a person, they understand how not only the mother feels, but also the child himself.

After the program was carried out, an analysis of its effectiveness was carried out according to the questionnaires proposed in the program, the Dembo-Rubenstein self-assessment methodology, and the Who Am I? Methodology.

Comparison of the indicators according to the Student's criterion analysis revealed that the students' assessment of the indicators changed with a high degree of significance: "Relationships with others", "Peculiarities of their behavior" (p<0,00), «Чувства, переживания, мотивы», «Жизненные планы, я в будущем (кем быть, каким быть)» (p<0,05). Анализ эффективности показал, что программа помогла учащимся более адекватно оценивать свое отношение с окружающими, понимать свои чувства и переживания, отслеживать особенности своего поведения, иначе говоря, приобрести навыки рефлексии, расширяет жизненную перспективу и делает значительно богаче представление ребят о самих себе.

Factor analysis of indicators made it possible to identify 5 factors: before the program, factor 1A - "Character - attitude towards oneself"; factor 2A - "Relationship with others - attitude towards early marriages"; factor 3A "Strength of character - relationships with peers"; after the program factor 1B - "Relations with others - understanding others"; factor 2B - "Relationships with the opposite sex - self-confidence."

It is likely that, before the program, the students, although they understood their personal qualities well, were not very good at monitoring their state, resolving conflicts, and they had a narrower idea of themselves. The character traits and personality traits of the students were the leading ones in assessing the attitude towards oneself and relationships with peers. After the program, the children began to understand that their own ability to understand other people and the presence of self-confidence play an important role in relations with others (parents, peers).

The results of open-ended questions showed that: the attitude towards friendship has changed, the concept of love has expanded, the understanding of the purpose of contraception has become clearer, the concept of the family has changed, the attitude towards abortion has changed.

In their responses, high school students write: “I really like these classes. They helped me understand how I imagine my family life, how I will build it. Now I am more clearly aware that there are different cases in family life, and they need to be addressed. I understood how children and parents feel when disagreements and disputes arise. Analyzing the relationships in my family, I understand that if the rest of the family members took the course "Family Studies", a lot would change. " “I began to treat the world around me differently, I began to understand my parents. My attitude towards myself has changed. " “These three months have been easier and easier for me than ever. I learned to listen and understand many people ... I began to see the meaning of life ... "

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2. Organization of preparation of senior pupils for family life at school

2.1 Research on the readiness of high school students for family and marriage relations

In order to determine the readiness of high school students for family life, we conducted a study on the basis of the State Educational Institution “Secondary School No. 1 named after Hero of the Soviet Union P.A. Aktsionka g. P. Shumilino ". Students of 10 "A" and 10 "B" grades took part in the research. The sample consisted of 25 people, including 11 boys and 14 girls. The age composition of the subjects was from 15 to 17 years old.

The study used the following techniques:

1. Test card for assessing readiness for family life (IF Yunda).

2. Questionnaire "Moral readiness for marriage" (EK Pogodina).

Test card for assessing readiness for family life I.F. Yundy.

Purpose: being prepared for family life is one of the decisive conditions for a happy marriage, a harmonious marriage.

Description. The test of Professor I. Yunda, allows you to assess the readiness for family life, as well as predict family well-being in relations between spouses. Assessment of readiness for family life and forecasting the well-being of marital relationships are aimed at creating a lasting marriage and improving relationships during the formation of marriage life. The given test will be useful for such improvement at any stage of marriage.

Instructions for the test: “Choose in each of the proposed 10 situations one of three answer options. To determine your readiness for marriage (groom, bride; wife, husband) separately, you need to calculate the results in points, according to the given rating scale for each of the three behaviors (in all 10 situations). "

Processing and interpretation of test results. Satisfied readiness in family life is evidenced by the sum of points scored within the range of 22-70, and insufficient readiness for it is the sum of 22 and below. The text of the questionnaire, processing and interpretation of the results are detailed in Appendix A.

The results of the test card for assessing the readiness for family life of high school students allowed us to get the following picture (Table 2.1).

Table 2.1 Results of assessment of senior pupils' readiness for family life

Sufficient preparedness for family life is observed in 35.7% of girls and in 18.2% of boys, which indicates a high degree of awareness among young people of the peculiarities of marriage and family relations. The overwhelming majority of boys (54.5%) and girls (50%) have a satisfactory level of readiness for family life, therefore, these senior pupils have sufficient ideas about marriage and family, but are not yet fully ready for family life. Insufficient preparedness for family life was found in 27.3% of boys and 14.3% of girls. These students need to form positive ideas about marriage and family, as well as the formation of the value of the family.

Analysis of the data obtained showed that more than half of the high school students surveyed have conscious ideas about marriage and family relations. It should be noted that the percentage of girls prepared for family life is higher than that of boys. Perhaps this is due to the fact that girls from early childhood have a greater interest in the family, gender relations. A third of the high school students surveyed need to develop readiness for family life.

Questionnaire "Moral readiness for marriage" E.K. Pogodina (Appendix B).

Purpose: to identify the readiness of young people for family life.

Description: the questions of the questionnaire are aimed at studying the totality of facts that ensure the maturity of the individual in intrafamily relations: communication skills, good nature and easygoingness in a quarrel, the ability to forgive, tolerance for the shortcomings of another, the ability to overcome conflict situations, the social activity of family members and their ability not to be isolated in a narrow circle family affairs.

Processing and interpretation of the results: it is necessary to calculate the sum for odd numbers - the first column (C1) and the sum for even numbers - the second column (C2).

If K: less than 50% - low moral readiness for family life; 50 - 80% - average moral readiness for family life; 81 - 100% - high moral readiness for family life.

The results of the survey are presented in Table 2.2. Thus, it was revealed that almost a third of the young men surveyed (27.3%) have a low moral readiness for family life. The remaining 72.7% of boys and 100% of girls have an average moral readiness for family life. It should be noted that among the surveyed senior pupils, there were no subjects with high moral readiness. This suggests that high school students have insufficient readiness for family life.

Table 2.2 Results of high school students' moral readiness for family life

Indicators of moral readiness
	low moral readiness for family life
	average moral readiness for family life
	high moral readiness for family life

Thus,

2.2 The program of social and pedagogical preparation of high school students for family life

The urgency of the problem of preparing young people for family life

Senior school age - the period of life during which tasks are solved life path, professional and social self-determination. The tasks of socialization in adolescence, first of all, are associated with the achievement of the status of an "adult", which implies release from adult custody, as well as personal and professional self-determination.

Starting a family is one of the vital problems. A lot depends on its decision in a person's life. That is why it is so important to prepare children so that, having created a family, they will preserve it for life. Also, preparation for family life is due to the fact that it contributes to the comprehensive and harmonious development of the individual.

Thus, the stability of marriage and family relations depends largely on the degree of preparation of the younger generation for family life, where such preparation is understood as a system of knowledge about the life of the family, social and psychological attitudes of the individual, which determines an emotionally positive attitude to the family lifestyle.

The relevance of the development of a program for the social and pedagogical preparation of young people for family life in schools is determined by the fact that at present there are no programs as such. Classroom lessons on family and marriage are minor and are part of other programs.

Objectives of the program:

Increasing the status of the family in modern society;

· Formation of an idea of family roles;

· The formation of socio-cultural family values;

· Fostering a responsible attitude to family life;

· To educate the needs for a healthy lifestyle and responsibility for their health;

· Formation of an active life position.

Program objectives

· The formation of basic concepts about family and marriage relations;

Preparation for future family life:

· The formation of economic thinking.

· Formation of the psychological foundations of healthy relationships between men and women.

· To give an initial about the role of parents in the upbringing of children.

· Help young men and women to realize the value of the family;

· To form and develop the skills of responsible behavior, the ability to take responsibility for their actions;

· To form reasonable relationships in love, friendship, family life.

· Develop the skills of civilized communication, cooperation, openness.

List of areas of work:

· Development of a system of uniform requirements and coordination of the main directions of school and home education;

· Conducting cycles of thematic classroom hours and extracurricular activities on the main objectives of the program;

· Carrying out joint leisure and entertainment games, holidays, sports events with parents and teachers;

· Participation in thematic contests of family projects.

Target group: students in grades 10-11.

Executors of the program:

· social teacher,

· psychologist,

· Class teachers.

Terms of the program: trimester, frequency of classes - 2 times a month, duration of classes - 1 hour.

Table 2.3 Program structure

Theme of the event	Form of conducting	Responsible
Family today (Appendix B)	Discussion
Readiness to start a family (Appendix D)	Hour of communication	Social educator, psychologist, class teacher
"Marriage follows love like smoke follows a flame ..." (Appendix D)	Hour of communication	Social educator, class teacher
Marriage and Family (Appendix E)	Informative conversation	Social educator, psychologist
Family projects competition: 1) Family history and heirlooms. 2) Family tree.	Photo and video presentations	School administration

Expected results:

· The acquisition by students of the ability and desire to build their lives on the basis of universal human spiritual values;

· The ability to build relationships with the opposite sex, based on national traditions;

· Knowledge and observance of the norms of the culture of behavior in the family;

• awareness of the responsibility of building a family and family life;

· Familiarization with the history of creating a family, the basics of creating a family, the rights and obligations of spouses;

· Gaining the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex, communicate effectively, constructively resolve conflict situations;

· Awareness of their responsibility to society in matters of creating a family and raising children.

Analyzing the results of the study, the following conclusions can be drawn. More than half of the high school students surveyed have conscious ideas about marriage and family relations, and a tenth of the respondents are not ready for family life. It was also found that the percentage of girls prepared for family life is higher than that of boys. Perhaps this is due to the fact that girls from early childhood have a greater interest in the family, gender relations. Consequently, the surveyed high school students need to develop readiness for family life.

Based on the results of the research, we have developed a program of social and pedagogical preparation of senior pupils for family life. This program helps students acquire the ability and desire to build their lives on the basis of universal human spiritual values; the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex, based on national traditions; knowledge of the norms of the culture of behavior in the family; awareness of the responsibility of building a family and family life; familiarization with the history of creating a family, the basics of creating a family, the rights and obligations of spouses; gaining the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex, communicate effectively, constructively resolve conflict situations; awareness of their responsibility to society in matters of creating a family and raising children.

Conclusion

The relevance of purposeful socio-pedagogical preparation of young people for family life is due to the social need for a deeper and more systematic education of husbands and wives, fathers and mothers and the need for more active overcoming of outdated attitudes in their views on the relationship between men and women, on family life.

1. In the first chapter, we found that the family has the greatest influence on behavior and mate choice for young men and women. The nature of the relationship between its members, the atmosphere of the family, the active participation of both parents in the upbringing of children, the presence of special knowledge and pedagogical skills in fathers and mothers, the correct organization of the practical activities of children and family leisure - all this is of paramount importance in the upbringing of a family man.

2. But in the upbringing of a family man, along with the parental home, the school also plays a leading role. Preparation for family life is one of the main directions of youth education and is a purposeful process of psychological, theoretical, methodological and practical training aimed at mastering the rights and responsibilities in the family. The goal of the social and pedagogical training of young people is to form an active life position of a family man, to ensure the stability of marriage, to develop attitudes towards responsible marriage and parenting.

Students are systematically prepared for family life with the help of educational and extracurricular work, the activities of various informal associations, as well as by helping the family, forming public opinion of adults and young people about the highest value of the family for society and for each person individually. In the process of preparing for family life, active methods of group work are used. The end result of preparation for marriage and family life should be the formation of readiness for family and marriage relations.

Due to the fact that the family is not always able to form attitudes and value orientations in the sphere of family life that correspond to the real conditions and requirements of life, the preparation of young people for family life should be a complex of comprehensive interactions with parents, teachers, peers, with other people, with means of culture and mass media, as a result of which there is an awareness of the peculiarities of marriage and family relationships, the development of appropriate feelings, the formation of ideas, views, beliefs, qualities and habits associated with readiness for marriage and family life.

3. In order to determine the readiness of high school students for family life, we conducted a study on the basis of the State Educational Institution “Secondary School No. 1 named after Hero of the Soviet Union P.A. Aktsionka g. P. Shumilino ". Students of 10 "A" and 10 "B" grades took part in the research. The sample consisted of 25 people, including 11 boys and 14 girls. The age composition of the subjects was from 15 to 17 years old. The following methods were used in the study: a test card for assessing readiness for family life (IF Yunda), a questionnaire "Moral readiness for marriage" (EK Pogodina).

4. Based on the results of the research, we have developed a program of social and pedagogical preparation of senior pupils for family life. This program helps students acquire the ability and desire to build their lives on the basis of universal human spiritual values; the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex, based on national traditions; knowledge of the norms of the culture of behavior in the family; awareness of the responsibility of building a family and family life; familiarization with the history of creating a family, the basics of creating a family, the rights and obligations of spouses; gaining the ability to build relationships with the opposite sex, communicate effectively, constructively resolve conflict situations; awareness of their responsibility to society in matters of creating a family and raising children.

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Appendix A

Test card for assessing readiness for family life (I.F. Yunda)

Instructions: “Choose in each of the proposed 10 situations one of three answer options. To determine your readiness for marriage (groom, bride; wife, husband) separately, you need to calculate the results in points, according to the given rating scale for each of the three behaviors (in all 10 situations). "

Typical situations, behaviors.
I boy / girl in trouble at work
dissatisfaction, reproaches of sluggishness, inability to get along with the authorities, to solve production issues;
calm and friendly relations, sometimes with consolation and sharing of grief;
empathy, manifestation of tenderness, the desire to reassure, maintain confidence in the rightness.
II. Meeting guests - parents, relatives and friends:
the reception is simple, without much enthusiasm, a tea table with a discussion of family problems and news;
reception without any enthusiasm, without showing signs of due respect, in the conversation sometimes discontent slips;
reception in a festive atmosphere, with a festively laid table, guests' favorite dishes, cultural and entertainment program.
III. Joint purchases, procurement of products:
friendly discussion of plans, in the implementation of which all family members take a feasible, but active part;
sole decision-making, one of the spouses gives orders, the other executes them;
an indifferent attitude towards the future, negative statements about plans, followed by criticism of what has been done, quarrels about this.
IV. "I have no time, I work":
reasoning such as: "Work at work, and time at home - family, personal life"; negative, sometimes irritable reaction to production problems;
an understanding attitude towards employment of a spouse, although without a special interest in his (her) profession;
respectful attitude to the profession, success, keen interest in the work of the spouse and labor problems.
V. Caring for comfort, aesthetics of everyday life, cleanliness of clothes, linen; cleaning the apartment, cooking according to different tastes:
reasoning like: “Perfect order in the house is my dream, but I am not able to cope alone (alone), I need an assistant and an incentive”;
preference for independent home economics with an adequate perception of benevolent criticism and wishes, without refusal of useful help;
reasoning like: “I admit that order in the house is good, but there is no desire to deal with it; if someone took over cleaning, washing and cooking, I would be (would) be very happy (glad). "
Vi. Sexual relationship:
restraint and moderation in achieving sexual satisfaction;
sexual relations occupy a dominant place in family life, everything else has a subordinate meaning;
sex life is relegated to the background, the main interests are focused on material support, social prestige, work.
Vii. Caring for offspring:
reasoning like: “Let's live for ourselves, it’s not too late to think about the child and in a few years”; "The family needs a child, but I want no more than one."
Desire to have as many children as possible; Desire to have two or three children.
VIII. Caring for the upbringing of children:
providing the child with the opportunity for self-education, freedom of choice and action;
striving for the versatile (intellectual, psycho-emotional and physical) development of the child;
opposition of intellectual and sports-physical inclinations; course for the one-sided development of abilities.
IX. Self-improvement within the family:
care for the all-round development of everyone, individual mastery of skill, development of an active life position;
development in starring (all only together, together), mutual limitation of social activity;
leisure without targeted aspirations, encouragement of free time.
X. Choosing and developing communication skills:
impressed by modest behavior in society, conscientious work is not associated with the desire to win everyone's attention, but the ability to defend one's position is appreciated;
the main thing is the ability “not to stick out, to be invisible in communication outside the family, and sometimes at home”;
the desire to improve manners of behavior and forms of communication, to assert and with dignity represent their family and themselves.

Options rating scale.

Satisfied readiness in family life is evidenced by the sum of points scored within the range of 22-70, and insufficient readiness for it is the sum of 22 and below.

Appendix B

Questionnaire "Moral readiness for marriage"

Dear respondent!

The answers to the questions of the questionnaire make it possible to identify value orientations towards family and marriage problems. One answer is allowed.

	I completely agree	Agree	Hard to say	Disagree	Totally disagree
1. Life would become extremely unattractive if people stopped living in families.
2. Luck is more important to the well-being of the family than all the specialized knowledge put together.
3. Early onset of sexual activity damages not only the health, but also the well-being of the future family.
4. It is very difficult to achieve your goal if you treat your spouse gently, take into account his condition, sympathize and empathize with him.
5. To bring the assigned work to the end is a matter of honor for me.
6. Conflicts between parents and their grown children are insurmountable.
7. I often manage to easily resolve conflicts between peers.
8. You should not give in to your husband (wife), abandon your habits or change them, re-educate yourself, as this leads to loss of individuality and submission.
9. I think that the saying “every blacksmith of his own happiness” is fully applicable to family life.
10. I am not sure that family is very fulfilling in life.
11. If a person has kindness and tact, then there is a lot for family life.
12. If the family is not going as well as it was dreamed of, then no measures will prevent its disintegration, so it is better to disperse immediately.
13. I always try to understand my parents and, if I am convinced of the correctness of their requirements, I obey them.
14. Some carelessness and frivolity of a person even strengthens family life.
15. Anyone who considers himself fully prepared for family life is likely to overestimate himself. There is always something to learn and something to change in yourself.
16. There is no need to be especially considerate and considerate when dealing with members of the opposite sex.

Interpretation of results

For the convenience of scoring, you should immediately write two columns of numbers: from 1 to 15 - odd and from 2 to 16 - even. Then put the corresponding mark against the number of the utterance. Then calculate the sum for odd numbers - the first column (C1) and the sum for even numbers - the second column (C2).

The result is determined by the formula: K = (32 + C1 - C2): 64 x 100%.

less than 50% - low moral readiness for family life;

50 - 80% - average moral readiness for family life;

81 - 100% - high moral readiness for family life.

Appendix B

Discussion on the topic: "Family today"

Purpose: to replenish the knowledge of students about the state of the family in the modern world, trends in its development.

Develop logical thinking, the ability to express your point of view;

Foster a respectful attitude towards family and relatives.

Basic concepts: a modern family, a happy family, family development trends, problems of a modern family.

Course of the lesson

I. "Secret opinion"

· Are you happy in your family?

· Can you imagine your life without your family?

· What kind of family do you think is ideal?

Write your answer on the sheets. You do not need to sign the sheets. Submit your answer to the Box of Secrets (Social Educator reads out the answers).

II. Topic message

Events taking place in society inevitably affect our lives, including family relationships. They require reflection and discussion among the youth. The discussion is devoted to family problems in the modern world.

Let's read the definitions of marriage and family (on the chalkboard).

Marriage is a union of a man and a woman based on mutual love and respect, mutual assistance and responsibility, and concluded in the civil registry offices.

A family is an association of people based on marriage or blood relationship, linked by a common life, mutual responsibility and mutual assistance.

III. Conversation-reasoning "The state of the modern family"

Sociologists argue that the modern family as a social institution is in crisis. Do you agree with this? Justify your answer?

Why do you think the number of divorces is increasing nowadays?

People stopped seeing divorce as a disaster. Public opinion also became much more tolerant of spouses who decided to start life anew. Divorce seems normal and even beneficial in some situations.

Reasons for divorce:

1. Often the reason for divorce is the pursuit of personal freedom, the value of which exceeds the value of the family.

2. Lack of love (that which happens only in the early stages of a relationship) for half of our fellow citizens is a weighty reason for divorce, even with children.

3. Another reason for divorce is that in our time women have become more independent and independent. And they would rather agree to be alone than to endure violence and alcoholism at home.

4. The reason for many divorces is the selfishness of the spouses.

What does a modern family lack for well-being?

The main thing that modern families lack is patience and knowledge. After all, the conflicts that inevitably arise in every family, you need to be able to properly resolve.

What are the main causes of family conflicts? Is a conflict-free family possible

1. Family conflicts arise due to lack of money, housing, mismatch of views and interests. There is no such thing as a conflict-free family.

2. Conflict-free families also exist. These are families where all members respect and understand each other, take care of each other and support each other.

The number of incomplete families is growing. Why?

Divorce is now in the first place among the reasons for the emergence of an incomplete family, the second is the birth of a child out of wedlock, and the third is the death of one of the spouses.

The peculiarity of the modern family is that the presence of children is less and less an obstacle to divorce. Adults may think of divorce as a great “start over,” but for children it is almost always a trauma. They can rarely accept a divorce to the end, and if they don’t like life in a “new” family, they will secretly dream that “dad will return soon and everything will be the same”.

When parents separate, in 90% of cases, children stay with their mother and often suffer from the fact that the level of family income decreases. (After the divorce, the father has many opportunities to keep child support payments to a minimum.)

But sometimes divorce is a boon for the family. If the family did not live well, the spouses constantly humiliated each other, quarreled, then divorce in this case is the best way out of the situation, including for children.

In Soviet times, it was believed that the appearance of a child in an incomplete family was a shame, now it is not so.

Another reason for single-parent families is that spouses do not want to formalize the relationship, as a result of which 30% of all babies are born out of wedlock.

Do you agree that in a modern family, a father and a mother

change roles? Why?

If 3-4 decades ago a man was the main earner in the family, now everything is different. More and more families appear in Belarus in which the mother, and not the father, becomes the leader. Many sociologists believe that it is the change in the role of father and mother that is the source of all other changes in the family. A woman feels like a person and wants to remain one, no matter what.

What helps to strengthen the family?

1. Responsible attitude to their duties of all family members: the father should be the head of the family, the earner of money, the mother - the keeper of the hearth, be able to distribute the family budget.

2. Joint upbringing of children, since nothing can replace mother's and father's love.

3. Mutual understanding and mutual respect.

4. It is necessary from an early age to prepare for family life.

5. Testing for psychological compatibility of future spouses before marriage.

IV. Summarizing

As you can see, on the one hand, the modern family has many problems. But on the other hand, in our time there are many opportunities for creating and developing a prosperous family.

Let's try everything we talked about today, unite and make rules for the modern family.

Continue expression

In order for a family to be happy, it is necessary ...

a) be responsible for marriage;

b) love and respect each other, -

c) strive to create a large, friendly family, have two or more children;

d) that the spouses raise their children together;

e) learn to rationally, use family income;

f) to carry out premarital diagnostics for the compatibility of those entering into marriage;

g) prepare young people for future family life.

I would like to end the lesson with the following words:

“Marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman, where the independence of both parties is the same, the dependence is mutual, and the obligations are mutual” (Anspacher).

Appendix D

An hour of communication on the topic: "Willingness to create a family"

Purpose: to introduce the concept of "readiness for marriage", with the conditions under which young people can get married.

To develop attention, mental operations: analysis, synthesis, generalization, abstraction;

Foster a respectful attitude towards the future spouse (s).

Basic concepts: readiness for marriage, family creation, motives for marriage.

Preliminary work: preparation of informational messages on the topic.

Course of the lesson

1. Organizational moment

The choice of a life partner is a very serious step, which requires at least one of the spouses to be ready to marry. Ideal when both are ready to start a family. It is also important that the spouses have a profession, work in order to ensure material wealth and independence of the family.

The readiness of young men and women is evidenced by their social, moral, pedagogical and psychological maturity. But love is the foundation of a close relationship, of course.

Are you wondering what you need to know in order to be ready to create a prosperous, happy family? Then let's start our lesson.

P. Topic message

Our lesson is devoted to such an important topic as the willingness to start a family. We will work in groups. Each of the groups prepared on a given topic.

III. Conversation

Before you start talking about willingness to marry, consider the following questions:

Is it enough, in your opinion, for people who decide to get married to love each other? Why? (Student responses.)

What does readiness for marriage mean? When can a person consider himself ready to marry? What should you think about before getting married? (Student responses.)

IV. Working in groups

A stable and prosperous family can be created with a certain readiness of young people for family life. Being ready for family life presupposes:

1) social and moral readiness;

2) motivational readiness;

3) psychological readiness;

4) pedagogical readiness.

Group 1 "Social and moral readiness".

Social and moral readiness to create a family presupposes:

Civil maturity, i.e. age (the lower age limit for marriageable age in Belarus is 18 years);

Availability of secondary education, profession;

The level of moral consciousness (the ability to be responsible for your actions);

Economic stability;

Health.

An important condition for readiness for marriage is the physiological readiness of the bride and groom. What age do you think should be married? (Student responses.)

In our country, marriage is designated by law - 18 years. But doctors believe that the most favorable age for starting a family is 20-22 for a girl and 23-28 for a boy. This age is most favorable for the birth of children.

Popular wisdom sets about the same boundaries for the age of marriage. In particular, the ancient poet Hesiod in the poem "Works and Days" gave the following instructions to young people:

Bring your spouse into the house,

As in age, you will come suitable.

Don't rush to 30, but don't hesitate for 30 too long ...

Look around everything well, so as not to laugh

Neighbors get married.

Do you think everyone is ready to get married at 18? And can the age of marriage be lowered? (The marriageable age of my II should be reduced by no more than two years, in the case when young people are expecting a child.)

Are you for or against early marriage? Why?

If an eighteen-year-old bride and groom are morally ready to take responsibility for each other, for their future children, if they are able to financially support the family, if they are ready to solve the family problems that arise, can they be considered ready to start a family?

In your opinion, does the material security of the spouses affect the stability of the family? (Student responses.)

Now listen to informational messages about social and moral readiness to create a family.

1st message

Social maturity is not associated with a specific age, but includes many factors:

1) completed secondary specialized or higher education;

2) the presence of a profession;

3) the beginning of independent labor activity.

It is important, frankly to yourself, to answer the following questions: What do you expect from marriage: to be happy yourself or to make your chosen one happy? Are you ready to support each other in any life situation? Do you have complete respect and trust for each other? Is there a material basis for starting a family?

2nd message

In order to prevent young people from making hasty decisions, the law provides for measures to prevent mistakes of future spouses:

1) the procedure for contracting a marriage is determined by law;

2) the lower limit of marriageable age is limited;

3) those wishing to marry are given time to think over their decision, future spouses get acquainted with their own rights and obligations, with the responsibilities of parents in relation to their future children.

3rd message

One of the important criteria of readiness for family life is moral maturity, which is manifested:

1) in the understanding by young people of the importance of the family;

2) in the seriousness of the attitude towards marriage;

3) in a thoughtful choice of a life partner;

4) in responsibility for the future family.

Young people should deeply respect each other, elders, family members of their chosen one (s). Girls and boys also need to have a minimum of legal knowledge about the family, that is, knowledge of the rights and responsibilities of spouses, children, legal norms governing family and marriage relations.

Good advice!

Do not hide your decision to marry from your parents. Introduce them to your chosen ones. Parents will be able to give really good advice to both, since they have a great life experience behind them, the ability to understand people.

2nd group "Motivational readiness"

What is motive? (A motive is a motivation for action.)

I suggest you write on pieces of paper (colored sheets of paper are distributed to each of the participants) 5 motives for marriage. You have 2 minutes for this, think carefully before you write. Read your motives.

As you can see, the main motive for marriage is love.

Now listen to the messages.

1st message

Motivational readiness also includes readiness for independence, a sense of responsibility for the family being created, readiness for the birth and upbringing of children.

2nd message

70-75% of families marry for love, and the remaining 15-20% of newlyweds create families by reason, without strong feelings. The motives for such marriages are different:

It's time to start a family;

I would like to stay in the city after school;

All girlfriends and friends already have families;

To spite someone;

At the insistence of parents;

The desire to live independently, without parents, etc.

About 5-10% create a family for material reasons.

3rd message

The willingness to start a family should be complemented by a mutual desire to have and raise children, since a family without children is a defective family.

3rd group "Psychological readiness"

Psychological readiness involves:

Knowledge of the rules of communication with people;

The similarity of views on family life;

Common interests;

Ability to create a morally healthy family climate;

Stability of character;

Developed volitional personality traits.

What do you mean by the culture of communication? (The culture of communication is the ability to understand the state of other people and act in such a way that those around you will feel the joy of communicating with you.)

Why do you think the views of the spouses should be similar? (A similarity of views is a solid foundation for creating a harmonious family atmosphere.)

1st message

The predominant motive for marriage for most people is mutual love, but one must understand that love alone is not enough for happiness.

A person is formed as a family man, first of all, in the father's house. The family in which he is brought up becomes a model of behavior for him. From early childhood, a person observes the relationship between parents and considers them the norm.

2nd message

In family life, it is important to respect the habits of the other, to reckon with his opinion. It is necessary to learn to see and understand what pleases the person who is next to you, what causes him pain. One must be able to understand, console, explain, keep quiet, and amuse.

Psychological readiness is understood as the fact that both spouses are ready to reveal their feelings, thoughts, experiences, be able to tactfully point out their mistakes to their half.

3rd message

In the process of living together, the spouses adapt to each other, the marital and parental roles are mastered. Family life requires from a person determination, determination, perseverance, endurance, tolerance, the ability to manage oneself, one's needs, emotions.

4th group "Pedagogical readiness"

Pedagogical readiness presupposes:

Pedagogical literacy;

Economic and economic skills and abilities;

Sexual upbringing.

1st message

Pedagogical literacy consists in knowing the age characteristics of the development and upbringing of children, the patterns of their growth, and the availability of childcare skills.

2nd message

Economic and economic skills are the ability to distribute the family budget, organize family life and leisure, and create comfort in the family.

It is very important to run the family household together, not to shoulder these concerns on one shoulders. The responsibilities of family members should be divided according to their individual capacities. Everyone should obey the rule: do not sit idly by when there is work in the house. Remember, the less a man does around the house, the more he destroys his home.

3rd message

Sexual upbringing presupposes the presence of certain knowledge about the intimate aspects of a person's life, correct views on gender relations. It is also important to be able to save your love.

V. Commandments of a Happy Family

So, we figured out what it takes to be ready to get married. Let's try to create the commandments of a harmonious happy family. Each group comes up with 7 commandments and writes them down. Then you will read the notes, and together we will decide whether we accept your commandment or not. We will write down those commandments that we accept on the blackboard, but among the written commandments we need to choose only 7.

Sample commandments of a harmonious happy family:

Stop in anger.

Don't be in a hurry to say a bad word.

Hurry up to repeat good words.

A kind word is good, but a kind deed is better.

Each step towards is equal to many days of joy.

He who is capable of deceiving himself does not believe. The family alphabet begins with "we."

While working on the creation of the commandments, you had both similar thoughts and completely different ones. This suggests that each person has their own priorities in the family, which depend on many reasons. But what unites all of you is that you want to create a happy family where love, peace and harmony will reign.

Vi. Summarizing

What do you think is missing in order to be ready to get married? Why is motivation to get married important? (Student responses.)

Marriage readiness concerns not only young people, but also their parents. Therefore, it is important that parents are psychologically ready to see the maturity of the decision of young people to marry, the willingness to take responsibility for themselves, future children, and the willingness to establish good, tactful relationships in the newly formed family.

Appendix D

An hour of communication on the topic: "Marriage follows love, like smoke follows a flame ..."

Purpose: to give students an idea of marriage, the moral and ethical foundations of marriage.

Develop mental operations, memory, attention;

Foster a responsible attitude towards marriage.

Basic concepts: marriage, age of marriage, motives for marriage.

Preliminary work: about a week before the expected date of the lesson, the teacher announces to the students the topic of the lesson and invites them to think about what the motives for marriage are.

Course of the lesson

1. Topic message

Read the topic of the session. As you understand this statement: "Marriage follows love, like smoke after flame ...". Do you agree with him? (Student responses.)

P. Conversation with students

What is marriage? Why do people get married?

Box of Wisdom

Before you is a box of wisdom. I suggest drawing out any statement about marriage and explaining whether you agree with it.

Marriage is the first stage of human society. (Cicero)

Only then is it easy to live with a person when you do not consider yourself higher, better than him, or him higher and better than yourself. (L. Tolstoy)

To get married is to halve your rights and double your responsibilities. (A. Schopenhauer)

Honesty is the soul of conjugal consent. (D. Fonvizin)

A marriage that is not based on love is a criminal union. (G. Senkevich)

A successful marriage is a building that needs to be remodeled every day. (A. Maurois)

Marriage is a sea of responsibility in which you can stay afloat only by holding hands tightly.

Motives for marriage

Why do you think people get married? What are the main motives?

Love (it is love that forms the premarital couple, and subsequently - the marriage union);

Spiritual closeness (there are people who perfectly understand each other. Mutual understanding becomes the basis of marriage);

Material calculation;

Psychological compatibility;

Moral considerations;

Community of views and interests;

Fleeing from parents (“fleeing from parents” often means a passive protest against the power of parents, an inability to objectively perceive the realities of life);

Obligation (marriage out of a sense of duty, for example, a girl becomes pregnant);

Loneliness (occurs in people who have moved to a new place of residence, or in cases where loneliness was a consequence of the experience of existential emptiness. Because of the feeling of loneliness, 14% of the men surveyed and only 4-5% of women married. women are "eager" to get married, experiencing an acute feeling of loneliness ... But it turns out, on the contrary: there are three times more men than women who were trying to get rid of loneliness!)

Following traditions (at the initiative of parents);

Prestige;

According to the template (marriage "according to the template" occurs when the reasoning is triggered: “All my peers are getting families, as if I’m not late.” At first glance, such a marriage seems to be based on love, but in fact such love comes down to the fact that out of several candidates he (she) chooses the more preferable one);

Revenge (one of the partners was rejected and out of revenge on the rejected one marries another person);

Accidentally (it is assumed that a person actually has

there was no motive to marry: he did it either simply out of curiosity, or according to the principle: "It will not get worse", "I will run off to marry and back." According to the survey, 2.4-4.6% of the respondents accidentally marry (there are more men here).

The study of the influence of marriage motivation on satisfaction with family life confirms the importance of the first two motives (love and spiritual intimacy). Moreover, the unity of these two motives is important. Those who focus solely on their feelings without the necessary spiritual community to maintain them can also become frustrated over time.

"Love is often mistaken, seeing in the beloved object that which does not exist." (V. Belinsky)

“In front of a woman, ask yourself if it will be interesting with this woman to p ...

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Zritneva Elena Igorevna. Formation of readiness of senior pupils for marriage and family life: dissertation ... candidate of pedagogical sciences: 13.00.01. - Stavropol, 2000 .-- 212 p. RSL OD, 61: 00-13 / 1575-2

Introduction

Chapter I. Theoretical foundations of the formation of high school students' readiness for marriage and family life 18

1 . The family as a value social institution 18

3. Socio-pedagogical factors in the formation of senior pupils' readiness for marriage and family life 75

Conclusions 107

Chapter II. Content and organization of the formation of high school students' readiness for marriage and family life 110

1. The state of preparation of modern high school students for marriage and family life 110

2. The school and family environment as factors in the formation of an individual's readiness for marriage and family life 130

3.Analysis of experimental work on the formation of high school students' readiness for marriage and family life 146

Conclusions 173

Conclusion 175

Literature 178

Appendix 192

Introduction to work

Relevance and formulation of the research problem. The crisis state of all spheres of life in our society affects the state and functioning of the family, whose difficult situation, in turn, aggravates the crisis in society. Economic, social difficulties, political conflicts and the general instability of our life lead to the complication of all those problems that the family faces. Even in countries that are prosperous and stable, there are complex processes of degradation of the family lifestyle, a decrease in the prestige of the family, the need to have children, an increase in divorce and intra-family violence, an increase in the proportion of the population who consciously chose loneliness as an acceptable lifestyle. The family crisis is a worldwide problem.

An important tool through which in different countries they strive to solve this problem is the upbringing of the schoolchild. At different times, education had a different content. Depending on the needs and tasks of social development, the development of certain abilities, personal or professional qualities was brought to the fore. At the same time, as sociological and psychological research the most diverse aspects of human life, recently the need to prepare schoolchildren for future family life has become more urgent. At the same time, traditionally, this issue, to a much lesser extent than social practice requires, takes the attention of teachers. It can be said that the range of problems associated with preparing students for family life in the new economic conditions is just beginning to be developed in domestic pedagogy.

Currently, the process of education is developing in line with the humanistic paradigm, which recognizes a person as the creator of his own

4-life (M.N.Berulava, BC Bibler, E.N. Gusinsky, V.P. Zinchenko, E.N. Ilyin, I.B. Kotova, V.A. Chumicheva, E.N.Shiyanov and others). In this regard, the problem of forming the readiness of high school students for marriage and family life is brought to the fore.

Marital and family relations, along with production ones, are the leading ones in human relationships. And preparing young people for this relationship represents great interest for any civilized society. Until the second half of XVIII centuries in pedagogy, the questions of preparing young people for marriage and family relations were not even raised. This problem was solved by the family itself in the process of natural life.

J.-J. Russo, I.G. Pestalozzi. However, more than a hundred years passed before these issues began to receive some attention in the theory and practice of education.

Separate works of P.P. Blonsky, E. Lozinsky. The basis of correct sex education P.P. Blonsky considered the formation of the moral ideal of a family man in the younger generation (57).

The problem of family and premarital education young generation found reflection in the works of outstanding teachers of the past. The most significant works belong to Ya.A. Komensky, J. Korczak, K.D. Ushinsky, L.N. Tolstoy and others. famous teachers as N.K. Krupskaya, A.S. Makarenko, V.A. Sukhomlinsky.

The family was the object of specific research by many teachers of the 1920s (I. Asyamova, E. Arkin, K. Veselovskaya, S. Wolfson, A. Gel'-mont, B. Kufaev, P. Lublinsky, S. Molozhaviy, etc.).

During the Soviet period, teachers and psychologists wrote works on the psychological and pedagogical problems of preparing young people for family life (L.N. Gudkovich, I.V. Grebennikov, I.V. Dubrovina, S. S. Kon, B. S. Kruglov, E. D. Maryasis, A. V. Mudrik, V. V. Mukhina, Yu. M. Orlov, L. N. Timoshchenko and others). They emphasized that the need for a family does not arise by itself, it should be brought up in every person (Barskiy V.I., 9), and the formation of a family man's personality should be carried out at all stages of a child's development according to his age (Dubrovina I.V., 56 ).

The preparation of young people for marriage as a state problem is given due attention in many countries of the world.

In Swedish schools, for example, gender has been taught since 1942, and in 1945 the first textbook on sex education appeared. In Czechoslovakia in 1960, the subject "Principles of paternity and motherhood" was introduced. In Poland, a special course "Adapting to family life" is being studied.

In our country, a certain experience has been accumulated on the problem under consideration. For the first time, the course "Culture of relationships in the family" was introduced in the 70s in the practice of Pavlyshskaya high school... V.A. Sukhomlinsky believed that the first place in this issue should be the problem of the culture of human desires, the ability to manage them (165). Analysis of the works of V.A. Su-Khomlinsky allows us to conclude that he deeply philosophically considered critical aspects socialization of the child in a family environment, the role of the family in introducing the child to the values of society and in the formation of a family man. The teacher believed that "... one should prepare for maternal and paternal duties almost from the cradle, and the upbringing of a good mother and a good father is, in essence, the solution of a good half of all the tasks of the school" (166). last years the problem of preparing the younger generation for

family and parenting activities became more relevant due to the collapse of the “home school” (Bestuzhev-Lada IV, 13), in which the upbringing of future spouses and parents traditionally began. In the USSR, at the national level, they tried to solve this problem twice. The first time - by introducing “ parental education", The second time - the introduction in 1982 of the school course" Ethics and Psychology of Family Life ", which was not widespread for many objective reasons. Both attempts failed, and the problem remained unsolved. A lot of extracurricular work was required, to which it was necessary to involve psychologists, lawyers, doctors, art critics.

In the new economic conditions, during the crises of the 90s, when in
society is devaluing moral values and renewing
all social institutions and systems, training senior students
classes for an independent adult life, the formation

readiness for marriage and family life should be important tasks of the educational process at school.

The problem of preparing young people for marriage and family life, as it were, synthesizes various aspects of upbringing, primarily moral, legal and physical, and has a special psychological meaning. It integrates the attitude of the younger generation and adults to the problem itself as a subject of study and education. And there is, perhaps, not a single aspect of education, the implementation of which in science and practice would lag so far behind the requirements of life, would be decided so slowly and timidly.

The confidence of young people in their readiness for family life - important characteristic her social maturity. The family, its character, the degree of material well-being, spiritual and moral health largely determine the appearance of a person, his social and labor activity, the correct upbringing of the younger generation and, ultimately, the success and achievements of the whole society. Meanwhile, the modern

7-the state of the family in Russia can be described as a crisis. The number of divorces is growing, the birth rate has fallen, the prestige of the mother is lost, the system of behavioral norms in the sphere of family and marriage and ideas about the content of family roles are undermined everywhere, many spouses are dissatisfied with the emotional and psychological climate in the family, and antisocial relations in families are spreading. We have to admit that, due to the moral vacuum of the post-Soviet period, views about what should be done in marriage and family behavior are formed under the influence of mass culture, as well as the experience and traditions of the immediate environment. Many of these problems are due not only to social but also to individual circumstances. Therefore, at present, the question of raising a family man, of the formation of a readiness for marriage and family life in the younger generation is especially relevant.

Transforming and strengthening marriage and family relations on a society-wide scale and creating strong family in each individual case, apart from desire, it also requires certain knowledge, skills and the ability to be a family man. The strength of the family and marital happiness depend, first of all, on the personal qualities of the spouses, on their social maturity, on their upbringing, on their socio-psychological literacy and compatibility, on how much they have mastered the knowledge of the laws of human communication and how skillfully they apply this knowledge in everyday communication.

Adolescence is the last stage of age immediately preceding marriage. Therefore, insufficient preparation of senior schoolchildren and young people for creating a family, maintaining the viability of this small group is one of the factors leading to destabilization. matrimonial relations.

Since not every family can carry out the correct all-round premarital education of young people, and school curricula currently do not provide for the study of ethics and psychology of family life, there is a need for systematic and purposeful psychological and pedagogical work with students. the main objective which - the formation of readiness for marriage and family life. Among the main directions in this regard: the development of a motivational and value attitude towards family and marriage, the mastery of special knowledge in the field of family psychology and family relationships by students, the upbringing of moral, emotional and volitional qualities in senior students, various skills necessary in family life, psychological preparation for marriage.

To date, a general theoretical foundation has been created on the problem of the formation of an individual's readiness for family life. It consists of works that reveal the social essence of the family and the most important aspects of its life (V.G. Afanasyev, V.A. Borisov, A.G. Vishnevsky, E.K. M.S. Matskovsky, V.A.Ryasentsev, Yu.I. Semenov, A.G. Kharchev and others); psychological characteristics of the family and the psychology of family relations (T.M. Afanasyeva, A.A. Bodalev, V.N.Druzhinin, Ya.L. Kolominskiy, N.N. Obozov, E.G. Eidemiller and others); the process of socialization of the child in the family, his preparation for future marriage and parenting (V.I.Barsky, I.V. Bestuzhev-Lada, I.V. Grebennikov, A.S. Makarenko, S.L. Rubinshtein, etc. ); general aspects premarital sex education (R. Borman, I. S. Kon, D. V. Kolosov, V. A. Krutetsky, T. A. Kulikova, E. Lozinsky, A. S. Makarenko, E. D. Maryasis , N.V. Selverova and others); features of young people's ideas about their future family life (A.M. Prikhozhan, T.I. Yufereva, P.M. Yakobson, etc.)

In psychology, fundamental research has been carried out aimed at studying mental development child, given his main characteristics (P.P. Blonsky, L.I.Bozhovich, L.S.Vygotsky, V.V.Davydov, A.N. Leontiev, N.S. Leites, D.I. B. Elkonin and others)

The substantiation of the degree of influence of the social environment on the development of the child is disclosed in the works of A.A. Bodaleva, I.S. Cohn, A.V. Mudrik, L.I. Novikova, ST. Shatsky and others.

The factors that have a decisive influence on the formation of readiness for family life are considered by I.A. Arabov, I.V. Grebennikov, I.V. Dubrovina, SV. Kovalev, V.E. Pakhalyan, A.M. Parishioners, N.N. Tolstykh, A.M. Chudnovsky, T.I. Yufereva and others.

The very concept of "readiness" is considered as a state of mobilization of all psychophysiological systems of a person, ensuring the effective implementation of certain actions in the works of K.A. Abulkhanova-Slavskaya, L.I. Bozovic, A.Ts. Puni, A.A. Derkach, N.P. Klushina and others. At the same time, general and long-term readiness and psychological attitude are distinguished.

I.V. Dubrovina believes that “special psychological preparation of young people for family life is an urgent need. This training should be carried out at all stages age development and should not be separated from general parenting problems. It is impossible to prepare a person separately for life in a family, in a team at work, etc. At the same time, while shaping the personality as a whole, one cannot but take into account the specifics of each area of her life, including family life. The formation of readiness to have a family, children should be one of the main tasks of educating adolescents and young men and be at the center of psychological and pedagogical research ”(57).

Psychologists have proven that in the process of life itself, children adopt from older generations a lot of knowledge about attitudes towards a person of the opposite sex, about marriage, family, and learn norms of behavior. Research by T.I. Yufereva

10-showed that already in adolescence there are sufficiently formed ideas about masculinity and femininity, about the social role of men and women in family, household and labor spheres (204).

Research A.M. The parishioners revealed that ideas about the future family life are spontaneously formed in the family itself - either as a desire for repetition, or as a desire to change everything (139). In our opinion, all this is very valuable, but at the modern pace of life, the "natural" mechanism of such knowledge is no longer sufficient. Therefore, an important place should also belong to the special preparation of the younger generation for marriage and family life.

Theoretical and experimental studies have shown that ideas about their own responsibilities in relation to other family members, not formed in childhood, interfere with building relationships between young spouses, difficulties in marriage arise due to a lack of moral upbringing. V.E. Chudnovsky emphasizes that “preparation for family life is, first of all, the education of focus on another person” (192).

Preparation for family life, according to a number of researchers, is associated not only with moral, but also sex education and education (A.S. Makarenko, D.V. Kolosov, N.V. Selverova, etc.).

An important factor in readiness for family and marriage B.C. Kruglov calls the legal preparedness of youth, understanding of the social essence of marriage and family, the need to obey certain laws and requirements in marriage. (86). This was pointed out by K. Marx, who wrote: "No one is forced to enter into marriage, but everyone should be forced to obey the laws of marriage, once he is married" (107). Thus, the problem of readiness for family life includes an extremely wide range of issues, the solution of which is possible only

joint efforts of teachers, psychologists and parents. A large role in educating young people for family life should be played by the school as a special public institution for the upbringing of the younger generation.

Given this circumstance, we note the existence of a theoretical and practical Problems: What are the psychological and pedagogical conditions that optimize the process of forming senior pupils' readiness for marriage and family life? The solution to this problem was goal our research.

Research object was the preparation of high school students for marriage and family life.

Subject of study- the process of forming the readiness of high school students for family life and marriage.

In accordance with the purpose, object and subject of the study, the following were solved tasks:

to reveal the essence of the family as a social value institution;

to develop the content and structure of readiness for marriage and family life among high school students;

to determine the socio-pedagogical factors influencing the formation of readiness for marriage and family life among high school students;

analyze existing state problems of preparing high school students for family life and marriage;

substantiate the content and technology of formation of high school students' readiness for marriage and family life and develop scientific and methodological recommendations.

The research is based on hypothesis that the formation of high school students' readiness for family life will be effective if a number of conditions are observed in the educational process of the school:

12-disclosure of the value content of the family in different types theoretical and practical training of senior pupils at school;

taking into account the relationship of modern socio-pedagogical factors in the educational process (family, peer society, mass media, school);

ensuring the relationship of content-procedural training and intrapersonal formation of the readiness of high school students for marriage and family life.

Methodological framework research constitutes an axiological
an approach in which a person is the highest value of society and
an end in itself for social development. As methodological
were the provisions on the individual as a subject of his own

life activity and relationships; about the unity of consciousness and activity; the principle of determinism, which presupposes a natural and necessary dependence of mental phenomena on the factors that generate them; a system-holistic approach that focuses on the holistic study and formation of the personality.

The study uses the principle of historicism in assessing the role of the family as the main factor in socialization, development and education of the individual.

In line with the idea of humanization of education theoretical basis
research was scientific data, concepts, systemic

constructions on the problem of psychological preparation of young people for family life, presented in the works of such scientists as I.A. Arabov, V.I. Barsky, I.V. Grebennikov, I.V. Dubrovin, SV. Kovalev, B.C. Krugloye, A.S. Makarenko, V.E. Pakhalyan, A.M. Parishioners, V.A. Sukhomlinsky, N.N. Tolstykh, T.A. Florenskaya, V.E. Chudnovsky, T.I. Yuferev, Z.A. Yankova and others.

Research methods and stages. When determining the methodological tools, the main attention was paid to their maximum reliability and

13-adequacy of parameters that characterize one or another aspect of the mental development of students in modern learning conditions. This led to the use in our study of methods that not only correspond to the specific tasks of the experiment, but also have been repeatedly tested, sufficiently reliable and valid. To obtain information on the research problem, we used the methods of questioning, testing, observation, conversation, the method of generalizing independent characteristics, the method free descriptions, the method of studying the results of activities, etc. Theoretical analysis preceded, accompanied and completed the development of the problem.

The research organization included 4 stages.

First step - search and preparatory (1996) - theoretical analysis of philosophical, sociological, psychological and pedagogical literature; development of a research program, definition of the subject, hypothesis, conceptual apparatus.

An important place at this stage of the research was occupied by the analysis and generalization of the work experience of modern comprehensive school on the problem under study, reflected in the press and directly in the process of their own pedagogical work. Long-term, inclusive observation of senior students in various lessons, one way or another reflecting the problem of interest to us, was carried out. At this stage, a search experiment was also carried out in order to determine pedagogical system formation of readiness of senior pupils for family and marriage in the context of a comprehensive school.

Second phase - diagnostic-experimental (1997) - carrying out an ascertaining experiment. Research work on the study of the microclimate in families raising children of middle and senior school age (500 parents); questioning, interviewing, conversations in order to identify the real state

14 family and marriage problems in the Stavropol Territory and the level of preparation of senior pupils for family life.

Third stage - experimental and theoretical (1997-1998) -

study of motivation and value orientations of senior students
classes in relation to the future marriage, identifying the degree of readiness
to family life. Carrying out a formative experiment. V

as experimental were taken four 11th grade lyceum №17 in Stavropol. An optional course on building readiness for family and marriage has been developed and tested in practice.

Fourth stage(1999-2000) - dissertation preparation. Development and
implementation in studying proccess university elective course for students
psychologists of the North Caucasus Technical State
University "Education of a Family Man" and the course "Family Studies" for
students studying in the specialty "Social work".

The experimental the base of the study was the school-lyceum No. 17
Stavropol. The sample included 150 senior students
school age (grades 10-11) and 500 parents,
raising children of adolescence and senior school age.
In addition, with the aim comparative analysis, studies were carried out
among students in the 10th grade of Svetlograd and social

rehabilitation center "Eaglet" for minors in the village. Podkumok (children from asocial families are temporarily isolated from them)

Scientific novelty and theoretical significance research is as follows:

the essence of the family as a social-value institution is revealed;

substantiated the content, structure and criteria of readiness of senior pupils for family life;

revealed social and pedagogical factors, the formation of readiness for marriage and family life among senior pupils;

15 - psychological and pedagogical conditions that provide effective formation readiness

high school students to marriage and family life in modern conditions of development of society. The practical significance of the study is determined by the fact that the theoretical conclusions contained in it create the prerequisites for the scientific support of the formation of high school students' readiness for marriage and family life, and the curricula for the courses "Preparing for family life", "Raising a family man", "Family studies" can be used in the mass practice of general education schools, training, retraining and advanced training of teachers, educators, social educators, practical psychologists, social workers. The following provisions are submitted to the defense:

1. The family is a socially valuable institution, whose members are linked by a common way of life, mutual responsibilities, and emotional closeness. The importance of the institution of the family for each of its members is determined by the following values:

values associated with the self-affirmation of the individual among the immediate environment;

values that satisfy the need for parenting, fatherhood and motherhood;

values associated with satisfying the need for love and recognition;

values that satisfy physiological needs;

values that allow you to feel relative stability and security;

values that satisfy the need for communication and expand its circle;

values that make it possible to satisfy pragmatic needs.

2. Readiness for family life - social and psychological education in the structure of the personality, integrating the acceptance of the values of the family as a social institution with special knowledge and skills in the field of the psychology of family relations, rational housekeeping, family pedagogy, interpersonal communication. Structurally, such readiness is represented by motivational-value, intellectual-cognitive, efficient-practical and emotional-volitional components.

3. Preparing high school students for family life involves the implementation
in the educational process of the school of conditions such as disclosure
the value content of the family as a social institution in

various types of educational and practical work of schoolchildren; mastering by a high school student as a future family man his sex-role behavior; ensuring the relationship of content-procedural training and intrapersonal formation of the readiness of senior students for marriage and family life; the implementation of united efforts of the family and the school in the formation of students' readiness for family life.

Credibility and validity results obtained in the process
research provided by a variety of sources

information, research procedures and techniques, use
a set of techniques adequate to the subject and objectives of the research,
long-term character and the possibility of repeating the experimental

experimental work, which made it possible to carry out a detailed qualitative and quantitative analysis of its progress and results, the representativeness of the sample size and the statistical significance of the experimental data. Testing and implementation of research results. Basic Provisions this study discussed and received approval for training

17 methodological and pedagogical councils of lyceum No. 17; at the pedagogical council of the House of Childhood in Stavropol (1997-98 academic year); at the city meeting of the head teachers of city schools (1998); meetings of the department, scientific seminars of graduate students and scientific conferences at the North Caucasus State Technical University (1997-1999), at the scientific-practical conference of SSU (1999).

The structure of the thesis. The work consists of an introduction, two chapters, six paragraphs, a conclusion, a bibliography, an appendix. The main content of the work is presented on 191 pages of typewritten text. The list of references includes 212 titles. The work contains 28 tables, 9 diagrams, 3 diagrams and 4 histograms. The appendix includes selected research and scientific-practical materials.

Family as a value social institution

The category "value" is one of those general scientific concepts, the methodological significance of which is especially great for pedagogy. Being one of the key concepts of modern social thought, it is used in philosophy, sociology, psychology and pedagogy to denote objects and phenomena, their properties, as well as abstract ideas that embody social ideals and act as standards of what should be.

The content of the concept "value" the majority of scientists (S.F. Anisimov, A.V. Arkhangelsky, L.P.Bueva, Yu.A. Zamoshkina, A.G. Zdravomyslov, M.S. L.P. Fomin and others) are characterized by highlighting a number of characteristics inherent in one way or another to forms of social consciousness: significance, normativity, usefulness, necessity, expediency. It is argued that the emergence of value is associated, on the one hand, with objects, phenomena, their properties, capable of satisfying certain needs of society and man. On the other hand, value acts as a judgment associated with the assessment of an existing object, phenomenon by a person, society. It is emphasized that value is a form of manifestation of a certain kind of relationship between a subject and an object.

The theory of values allows you to reveal new sides of reality and human relations associated with the choice of people in their life guidelines, to see the process of socialization of the individual.

The subjective hierarchy of values is not just a passive reflection of the objective hierarchy, since with their help a person carries out his own value projects. The ordering of values according to the degree of their importance depends not only on the nature of the functions that they perform today, but also on the perceived ideals, goals that a person wants to achieve by his actions. The consequence of the difference in assessments is the value orientations of the individual, in accordance with which some values are perceived and assimilated, while others are not. The formation of social norms is always associated with the presence of values, on the one hand, and stable, repetitive, constant assessments, on the other.

The family, according to scientists, is one of the greatest values created by mankind in the entire history of its existence. Family values due to the uniqueness and social significance of the family.

The problems of the emergence and development of the family, family and marriage relations, the role of the family in the life of society and each individual individually have occupied the best minds of mankind for many centuries. Nevertheless, these problems are not thoroughly studied today: they remain a lot controversial issues... The generally accepted view of the family as a product of long historical development.

The importance that the family acquired in the public and personal life of people in the era of civilization led to a relatively early and persistent interest in its study. A.G. Kharchev notes that at the same time, for a long time (approximately until the middle of the 19th century), the family was initially considered as a monogamous unit of society, the starting point of its development and its miniature prototype. Therefore, the philosophers of antiquity, the Middle Ages, and partly the New Age were interested not so much in the family as a specific social institution, as in its relation to general social orders, and above all to the state structure (186).

Analyzing the driving forces of human society, in the preface to his book The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State, F. Engels noted that the defining moment in history is the production and reproduction of immediate life. " He emphasized that this production has a twofold nature: the production of means of life, food items, clothing, tools, etc., on the one hand, and "the production of man himself, the continuation of his kind", on the other hand (201).

Over the long history of its existence, the family has changed, which is associated with the development of mankind, with the improvement of forms of social regulation between the sexes. Some of these forms were characteristic of individual tribes, others were more widespread. Common was their dependence on a certain level of socio-economic development of society (K. Marx, F. Engels, V.I. Lenin). F. Engels emphasized that "... the family gives us a miniature picture of the same opposites and contradictions in which society moves" (201).

In Russia, the transition to our modern form of a family consisting of spouses and children was completed in the VIII-IX centuries.

V modern science there is no single definition of the family, although attempts to do this were undertaken by great thinkers many centuries ago (Plato, Aristotle, Kant, Hegel, etc.).

Content and structure of high school students' readiness for marriage and family life

The solution to the research problem is largely dependent on the disclosure of the essence of the very phenomenon of "readiness for family and marriage", since this personal education is complex, dynamic, multifaceted in content and forms of manifestation. For this purpose, we used a system-structural analysis of the corresponding philosophical, sociological, psychological and pedagogical literature.

The problem of readiness for family and marriage is new and not new. It is new because at present there is a reassessment of life values, stereotypes in the minds of people are breaking down, the living conditions of most Russian families have changed dramatically.

Despite the widespread use of the concept of preparedness in pedagogical work, theoretical and experimental research of a person's readiness for a certain type of activity or state is currently complicated by the fact that there is no generally accepted point of view on the question of what readiness is and what, in fact, personality characteristics can be considered as readiness. There is no corresponding interpretation of this concept in the "Pedagogical Dictionary", "Pedagogical Encyclopedia", the dictionary " Family education". Readiness is not interpreted in the "Philosophical Dictionary" either. The Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language defines readiness as “an expression of consent, inclination, disposition to do something, to perform some action” (170).

"Psychological Dictionary" edited by V.V. Davydova gives the following definition of the notion of readiness: “Psychological readiness for action is a state of mobilization of all psychophysiological systems of a person, ensuring the effective implementation of certain shades: 1) a person's equipment with the knowledge, skills, and abilities necessary for successful performance of actions; 2) readiness for urgent implementation of the existing program of action in response to the appearance of a certain signal; 3) consent to the determination to perform some action (45).

The problem of psychological readiness to act adequately in a certain life situation was considered earlier mainly in connection with professional activities, and this readiness was considered at various levels: personal (K.A. Abulkhanova-Slavskaya, L.I. Bozhovich, V.V. Stolin, A.Ts. , M.I.Dyachenko, L.A. Kandybovich, N.P. Klushina and others). The researchers identified general readiness (long-term) and mental attitude.

In our work, we also relied on the definition of readiness given by professor of psychology Grace Krug: “Readiness is the moment in an individual’s life when the level of maturity reached by him allows him to benefit from a specific learning experience” (83). It must be emphasized that although there is an optimal time for the development of a particular behavior, it can be learned earlier and later. The term readiness is used to refer to a point in the developmental process when a person is mature enough to learn a particular behavior. He may not be able to master this behavior fully and effectively before maturity, but this does not mean that he should only learn it while he is ready.

To form readiness for family and marriage, we have determined the senior school age - 15-17 years. When choosing this age period, we proceeded from the patterns of age and individual development child. In Soviet psychology, fundamental research has been carried out aimed at studying the conditions of the mental development of a child, its main characteristics have been given (P.P. Blonsky, L.I.Bozhovich, L.S.Vygotsky, V.V.Davydov, A.N. Loent'ev, N.S. Leites, D.I. Feld-stein, D.B. Elkonin and others). Among the authors of foreign works devoted to important problems of adolescence, Ozibell, Jerseild, Horrocks, Garrison, Zazzo, Spranger, Piaget, and others should be named.

Research by Soviet psychologists, and above all by L.S. Vygotsky, L.I. Bozhovich, V.A. Krutetsky, I.V. Dubrovina, A.A. Smirnova, D.I. Feldstein, as well as observations and data obtained as a result of our research, give grounds to assert that by the age of 14-15, schoolchildren develop a stable idea of the world and go active search ways of self-affirmation, ways of self-realization. The main new formations of adolescence, according to E. Spranger: the discovery of "I", the development of reflection, awareness of one's own individuality and its properties; the emergence of a life plan, an attitude towards the conscious construction of one's own life.

The choice of senior school age for the formation of readiness for family and marriage is due to several reasons.

Firstly, due to the fact that senior (10-11) grades, completing systematic schooling, are at the same time the beginning of inclusion young man in independent development of the whole variety of phenomena surrounding reality... And although learning, as an element of this reality, is still present, it is already of a different nature.

Secondly, it is during this age period that the degree of mental, ideological and civic maturity is acquired, which allows a person to a certain extent to be capable of independent working life and activity and serves as a reliable basis for his further development.

The state of preparation of modern high school students for marriage and family life

Studying the state of preparation of modern high school students for family and marriage required the following tasks: - to determine the level of readiness of high school students for marriage and family life; - to analyze the factors influencing the formation of such readiness in the educational process of the school and in the parental family. The organization and conduct of the ascertaining experiment consisted of several stages. At the first stage, in order to study the contingent of students with whom to work, conversations were held with students, the class teacher, and the parents of individual high school students. In our research, we proceeded from the fact that psychological characteristic adolescence becomes much fuller when there are data revealing what essential features, in the opinion of young men and women, are inherent in their age, what role today's high school students play in the parental family, how they themselves assess their position in the family. Therefore, in the course of the ascertaining experiment, we used B. Zazzo's methodology "Golden Age" (modified by A.M. Parishioners), followed by a conversation with the students. 67 high school students took part in the work on this method. The results obtained can be conditionally divided into 4 groups: The 1st group includes 14.9% of students who believe that the best age in their life is already behind them. The students of this group are characterized by an egoistic orientation, a certain consumer tendency in relation to other people. Determining their place in life, creating and providing for their family, the emergence of a wide range of responsibilities does not cause them optimism, confidence in their abilities. In an oral conversation, the students emphasized the advantages of the already past primary school age: “there are practically no problems; you are small and you are constantly taken care of, hence your complete carelessness; very minor responsibilities in the family ”, and so on. Such an attitude towards prolonging childhood often arises in adolescents and young men as a reaction to the inability to overcome precisely the difficulties of goal-setting and self-projection, which, in turn, indicates an insufficient level of personality development. We included 17.9% of students in group 2 who identified best age your given age stage. The students of this group motivated their choice in oral conversation by the fact that they were already old enough, but the requirements were still like children; the time of choosing a life path - all prospects are open, the time of bright hopes, the belief that everything will come true; freedom and independence, a lot of free time, a large number of friends, new meetings, the time of first falls in love, but there is still no constant life partner who limits freedom, etc. In the 3rd group, 62.6% of students. They think the best period in human life the age stage is 25-35 years. Their choice is explained by the fact that by this time stage of life, a person, while remaining young, strong and healthy, already manages to achieve a lot in life: acquires a specialty, finds a job, creates a family and can provide it, becomes more balanced in actions and thoughts; material independence from parents appears; still a large number of friends. In the 4th group, 4.4% of students who indicated the second half of life as the best age is approximately 45-50 years. Students in this small group are focused on material wealth. In their opinion, by this age a person achieves financial well-being, has the opportunity to earn a lot. Basically, children have already grown up, parents have the opportunity to live for themselves. At the next stage of the study, students were asked to write down 5 words each characterizing the advantages and disadvantages of their age (16 - 17 years old). The following results were obtained: Advantages of age: Girls noted - beauty, good health, youth, carelessness. Young men are freedom, full of strength, financially secured by their parents, you can do nothing, walk a lot, fall in love, etc. Disadvantages of age: Dependence on parents, primarily financial, frivolous attitude of adults, instability of character - hot temper, stubbornness, resentment; 77.6% called a disadvantage that the age of a senior schoolchild is transitional from childhood to adulthood, which no longer makes it possible to feel and behave like a child, but at the same time there is still no independence of an adult. It should be emphasized that in early adolescence, perhaps, for the first time there is a conscious connection between the future and the present, which was pointed out by L.S. Vygotsky (34), speaking about the emergence of the life plan as a well-known system of adaptation, which is first recognized at this age and largely depends on the social situation of development. Based on the topic of our research, the work was aimed at an experimental study of the dynamics of age-related changes in the ideas of high school students about their future family life. As an experimental method, we chose a variant of the Nuutten method, which was successfully used earlier in the studies of Orlov A.B., Tolstykh N.N. (172).

School and family environment as factors in the formation of an individual's readiness for marriage and family life

Upbringing acts as a part of the process of social formation of a person as a conscious purposeful impact on an individual, a social group on the part of subjects educational activities who aim to develop certain social qualities in the educated.

The process of social formation of a person, the formation of his personality is influenced by various social factors, under the influence of which in individual cases social qualities of an individual that are inadequate for a given society can form, leading subsequently to all sorts of social conflicts. Therefore, the process of socialization is mainly institutionalized, implemented through a system of certain social institutions designed to correct the formation of social qualities of an individual in accordance with socially significant values, to limit or activate the impact of some factors, or to neutralize them.

The school in modern society fulfills those basic tasks that at other stages of the development of society were carried out informally, by including the individual in the family, tribe, community, etc. It acts as the initial mechanism for the differentiation of society, taking on the task of preparing for life. Thus, it is the school that begins to form social status a person, helping him to adapt to the life of society at different levels and stages of its development.

Another point of view is based on the fact that the school is seen as a social institution, which is a factor in the struggle of various social groups for power. The task of the school in this case is, first of all, the formation of such values that would justify all actions necessary to maintain the existing system.

The third point of view is based on the position that in modern society a person “well socialized” in a group is not obliged to share the point of view of its other members, and his behavior may differ significantly from their behavior. All people live as if "playing 2" according to certain rules. But some people "drop out" of the game, not knowing how to enter it, not understanding what it means, what to expect from it and what to afford.

The role of the school is to prevent such “marginal” groups from arising. In accordance with this, the school, on the one hand, contributes to the formation of freely acting, as it were, "autonomous" social subjects, and on the other hand, it develops the "structure of the rational", within which individuals can exist without entering into conflict with society.

Currently, the interests of the rapid transformation of society, of the person himself, as his main value, requires a new, broader approach to teaching and educating the younger generation.

We share the opinion of Professor I.A. Arabova that “only a school is able to assess the depth of the contradiction that has arisen in the relationship between society and youth in their views on family life, since the upbringing of a family man is dictated by the discrepancy between the increasing demands from society to fulfill civil, parental, conjugal duties future fathers and mothers and the level of formation they have today of concepts and ideas about the spiritual and material foundations of family life. Elimination of this contradiction should be reflected in the radically changing content of education ”(2).

The family occupies a central place among the microsocial factors influencing the formation of the life plans of the younger generation. Any family has its own traditions and foundations, there is a positive and negative experience of marital relations. And yet it should be borne in mind that most young people strive to build life in their own way, adopting only certain features of parental relationships. One cannot but agree with this, because each generation lives in different economic and political conditions, and the history of marriage and family relations proves that their character is determined by the economic character, and, consequently, by the entire social life of society.

The family, being for the child the first and most significant conductor of social influence, "introduces" him into all the variety of family relationships, domestic life, causing certain feelings, actions, ways of behavior, influencing the formation of character traits, habits, and the formation of readiness for family and marriage.

Modern scientific data prove that already in the first years of life, a child who is brought up in a family forms its image. Proceeding from this position, one of the tasks of the ascertaining experiment was the survey of families with children of middle and senior school age.

The anonymous survey involved 500 men and women living in the South-West region of Stavropol (random sample). Due to the fact that we were interested in the relationship of spouses, and their influence on the younger generation, we selected only complete families for the survey. The age composition of the subjects was not uniform, from 32 to 50 years old, due to the fact that in some families the children of this age were not the first.

It must be emphasized that it is at this stage of its life cycle(meaning the presence of school-age children) the family has to perform all functions in full, and it is faced with a large number contradictions and unresolved problems.