Horoscope of male weaknesses, or what men are afraid of. Virgo man's fears and ways to deal with them. How to help your beloved man

Having sex can be both joyful and a source of negative emotions. Inexperience, lack of awareness, or past sexual problems can lead to fear of intercourse. Women and men have both common problems and fears that are specific to a particular gender. Awareness, self-improvement and professional help will help you free yourself from the captivity of fear.

Steps

Part 1

Face your fear. Understand exactly what you are afraid of, and then challenge your fear. If you are afraid of sex, then you need to determine what exactly is causing your fears. By setting true reasons, you can focus on finding the right solution.

• Sit back and make a list of the things that scare you about sex. For example, you don't know how to approach a question, are afraid to do something wrong, or are embarrassed about how you look without clothes.
• Once you've identified the problems, make a list possible solutions... For example, if you don't know how to talk to your partner about this, ask a trusted friend for advice or find someone you can learn from. Even watching a melodramatic movie can help you.
• If you are afraid of doing something wrong, then you should understand the issue and determine what suits you and what does not. Preparedness and awareness will surely reduce your fears.

1. Learn about anatomy and physiology. Questions of the structure and functioning of the human body have been studied for more than one century. If you are not familiar with the anatomy of a man or a woman, or want to clarify some points, then an incredible amount of information is available to you.

   Make a plan of action. Defeating fear requires a clear plan. Coping with fear of sex is no different. Define the main objectives and then outline the steps to carry out your plan.

   • Make a list of what scares you. Are you intimidated by the likelihood of sexual intercourse during a date? Are you intimidated by the thought of asking someone out on a date? Worries you appearance, bad smell from the mouth or excessive sweating?
   • Solve issues step by step. For example, if you are afraid to ask a girl out on a date, first try asking the time from a stranger... This will not be an offer to go on a date or have sex, but you yourself will reach out to the person and ask him a question, which will also become a communication experience. This is the first step towards your goal.
   • Working to solve the problem will dispel your fear. Creating an action plan will help you feel like you are working on a solution to the situation.

2. Practice. To overcome your fear of sex, you need to gradually move forward. Studies show that fear passes when a person decides to overcome it in an imaginary situation or in practice. Positive experience - best remedy to achieve the goal.

   • It's important to know what gives you pleasure. Understand what exactly gives you pleasure by touching yourself, imagining interaction with another person, or using sex toys designed to induce arousal.
   • If you have a loved one, then gradually gain experience in expressing your feelings, hold each other's hands, kiss, massage, touch each other in intimate places and eventually move on to sexual intercourse itself. There is no need to try to speed up the process or put pressure on yourself. In this way, you can only increase your fear.

3. Open up your emotions. When you are with someone you love, remember to be kind and caring to show that you are emotionally open. Sex is an emotional experience, so keep this in mind during your conversations.

   • If you are feeling emotionally or physically uncomfortable, tell your partner about it, because you need time to build confidence. For example, if you feel like you are in a hurry, or you feel physically unwell, you might say, “We need to stop. I feel uncomfortable".
   • There is no need to rush and abruptly switch to sex. The consequences can be dire. And so you can still be emotionally open (s) with your partner and independently determine the boundaries of what is allowed at the moment.

4. Remember to have a good time. Having sex should be fun, so relax and let yourself be aroused. If you focus on pleasant sensations, then fear can be forgotten.

Part 2

Pay attention to your physical condition. Human body is an amazing system. You are unique, and you need to monitor your body to be confident in your sexual performance. Proper nutrition, healthy sleep and physical activity will help maintain health and a positive attitude.

Reduce expectations to improve efficiency. Excessive pressure on yourself is never beneficial. If you are afraid that you will not be able to bring pleasure to your partner, then you need to change your mental attitudes.

Build your emotional vocabulary. Failure to understand and express your own feelings to another person is a common problem. Failure to understand his feelings often causes disappointment - a man is afraid of a wrong word or the inability to express what is in his soul.

Part 3

Make sure of your own safety. The main reason a woman's concern for intimacy is safety. By taking the necessary steps, you can alleviate your fears of emotional or physical trauma. If you are afraid of getting pregnant, losing your virginity, or the fact that your parents find out about what happened, then confidence in safety will help you cope with all the problems.

• Control your body. Avoid alcohol and drugs - they dull control.
• Go to intimacy only if you are calm and ready for it.
• Always inform someone close (relative or friend) about your whereabouts in advance in case of intimacy with another person.
• To prevent unwanted pregnancy use contraceptives... Fear of getting pregnant can stimulate you to make smart decisions.

1. Don't compare yourself to others. Competition and comparison with others can have unwanted consequences... The onset of sexual activity is a watershed moment for every person. It is important not to put pressure on yourself for the sake of conforming to someone else's ideas or trying to please a person by being willing to go to bed with him.

   Defend your right to refuse. Sexual assault, domestic violence and harassment are very serious things. Any girl or woman should clearly understand her intentions in case of possible intimacy. You can end everything at any time by saying "No!" or "Stop."

   • Take care of yourself as your best friend... When you sense danger, follow your intuition in any situation. Don't be afraid to change your plans, decisions, and intentions. Trust your instincts.
   • It is very important to trust your partner, this will always help you make the right and balanced decision.

Part 4

1. Make an appointment with a psychologist. If you avoid sexual intercourse, and the thought of having sex makes you feel excessive and unreasonable anxiety or panic, then you should seek the help of a specialist. This may be a sign of a phobia, and not normal reaction for fear.

   • Physical signs of a phobia include the following: sweating, shaking, dizziness, and difficulty breathing. A psychologist can help you deal with these symptoms and phobias.
   • Be sure to see a psychologist if you have previously been sexually harassed, as this can interfere with your sexual activity. Talking with a counselor and healing from this trauma can help build constructive relationships with others.

2. Learn relaxation techniques. Relaxation is good for everyone. If intimacy begins with a sense of calmness, then you can easily overcome fear and have fun.

   Fight negative thoughts. Thoughts influence your emotions. There is a tendency to overestimate negative consequences even before you experience them for yourself, and underestimate your ability to cope with the situation. These thoughts are unbalanced, need to be found the right approach to them.

• Don't be afraid to share your feelings with your partner. Always say what you like and dislike.
• Show discretion when choosing sexual partner... You must trust this person and feel confident in your readiness to devote him to intimate part own life.
• Uncertainty feeds fear. The higher your sexual activity, the less room for fear.
• Remember to use birth control.
• It takes courage to fight fear. For bravery, you will be rewarded a hundredfold.
• Decide on the code word you and your partner will use when you feel fear. It should signal the need to stop and break.
• Breathing always helps in various intimate situations. Even if you feel uncomfortable for a moment, take a deep breath and try to relax.
• Take time to study own feelings related to sexual relations.
• Don't forget about playfulness and humor, but don't laugh at your partner.
• If you have a fear of sex because of harassment or rape in the past, be sure to discuss this moment with your partner before the moment of intimacy. When both are aware of the situation, the likelihood of causing pain is reduced to a minimum.
• The partner should be aware of the extent of your fear. If the thought of sex can make you cry or feel dizzy, then your partner is best to know about it in advance.
• There is no need to feel guilty about not wanting to have sex. If you are truly dear to your partner, then he will respect your wishes.
• There is nothing wrong with tears; you should not hide them from your partner.

Warnings

• If your partner doesn't even try to calm you down at the time of the attack of fear, then this person has no place in your life.
• Never let yourself be coaxed, blamed, pressured, forced, or forced to have sex if you don’t want to.
• Unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and even death. If you are not ready to accept responsibility for possible consequences then remember to take precautions and use condoms.
• A fear of sex is different from a phobia, which is a much more serious problem. Each of the situations should be worked out with a psychologist.
• Erection problems may be signs serious illnesses... It is better to seek medical help.
• Only sexual abstinence can provide 100% protection against pregnancy.

Anyone can feel different fears at times. Fear of death and fear of pain in general are constant sources of anxiety in adults.

Regardless of gender, a person is afraid of being unemployed, not being successful, or losing loved ones. There are also such trifles as, for example, fear of heights, darkness or confined spaces.

TO female fears everyone treats with some condescension, but the image of a fearless man is firmly and forever fixed in society. A man is a stronger sex, a symbol of real strength, therefore fears are not characteristic of men either physically or morally. We are all people and men too, because they, too, are sometimes afraid of various reasons... Though they try not to show their fear. Then how can you help a man deal with his fear?

It is known that fear appears due to certain circumstances. This feeling does not come from nowhere. Sometimes fear is formed at the genetic level for centuries or years. For example, unmarried people have an inherent fear that boys have in an inferior family. Having matured, such men will be looking for a wife for a long time. By the way, some bachelors never reach the registry office. Helping such a man to cope with his fear is simply necessary. Conversely, if a boy grew up alone or in a shelter, then he may have a fear of loneliness. Phobic fears, such as fear of heights, insects, or water, are usually inherited. Here you can't get by with words like: "you have to look fear in the eye." Fear alone can be overcome by a truly strong and strong-willed man. Unfortunately, not everyone has such qualities.

Psychologists say that a lot male fears are closely intertwined with communication, for example, in a relationship with a loved one or friends, as well as with colleagues. Most often in this industry, men can have different fears. For some reason, men are terribly afraid to seem uninteresting and stupid. They are also afraid of being unfulfilled and poor. In such cases, they carefully avoid general meetings with friends and get-togethers in noisy companies... Also, men have so-called "family" fears. They are afraid of marriage, which can bring a lot of uncertainty and difficulties into their life, for example, cheating, being present at childbirth, or future parenthood.

There is even a category of men who are afraid of strong women. These fears mainly arise from male insecurity. An insecure and constantly doubting person, as a rule, begins to replay in his head possible events that may take place in their relationship with a woman. So a person is arranged that mentally all his future events will take place according to his script. It is usually negative. Thus, the man is already in advance of being tuned in to the bad.

There are a lot of fears. Although there are very common, for example, fear of failure and failure, loss loved one, fear of getting sick, etc. But everyone is afraid of death. This is the worst thing that can happen to any person. Besides, no one has yet been able to fight her.

Recently, Russian psychologists conducted surveys of male respondents who shared their reasons for fear. Most of the men reported that they were afraid of the dark during their childhood. Therefore, they still experience some discomfort in dark places. Next group of those surveyed said she was afraid of spiders and dogs. It turned out that not all men are supporters of scary movies. The researchers also learned about how men get rid of their fears. Most of the respondents admitted that they solve this problem by adhering to the principle of "knocking out a wedge by a wedge". In their opinion, if a man is afraid of the dark, he should often go into dark places and stay there as long as possible. "

For a man to cope with fear, he definitely needs help from the outside. Men rarely cope with their problems on their own. If he is afraid of communicating with the weaker sex, maybe he should immediately inform the girl about it. Such frankness even disarms the ladies. Men should get to know girls as much as necessary. This process should continue until the man feels comfortable in the company of the opposite sex. It is important for a man to understand that he must first of all cope with fear on his own. All his fears are based primarily on subjective factors and the characteristics of himself, which is why practical exercises are the best solution.

Every man has his own personal fears. These phobias were "brought up" in him during his life. Of course, if a man was bitten by a dog in childhood, then, even as an adult, he has subconscious level fear of the dog will be triggered constantly. Fear of women mainly arises in adolescence. During these years, a guy neglected by one or several girls will retain fear of women for life. Although the situation can be corrected by an intelligent and tactful woman who can help a man overcome this fear. After all, in such a thin psychological moment a lot of things depend on the will and character of the man himself. It is known that someone needs a firm and tough approach, while someone needs a delicate and patient treatment. Many men try to overcome their fear in a "tried and tested" way - with the help of alcohol. However, this will be the most common male mistake.

It sounds corny, but fears can be effectively dealt with by other methods. For example, hobbies. You can also use leisure accompanied by visits to clubs, going to the cinema, as well as playing sports. Regular sports activities and hobbies give a person drive and positivity. Exercise stress develops endurance in a person and strengthens his spirit. Therefore, it is better to choose such active sports as swimming, tennis, football or kickboxing.

The fears are negative emotions, and they can occur when there is a real or perceived danger that threatens a person's life. If a person has a huge number of fears, then his loved ones should take care of not appearing in his life of these dangers.

To be strong and confident, to keep one's word, not to be afraid to take responsibility, to provide for the family financially - these are the qualities that are brought up in boys from childhood. Society makes high demands on them, and they are forced to fulfill them. And if suddenly a man is unable to meet the expectations of others, he can only mask his shortcomings and live under. But should loving woman come to terms with the state of affairs, or she should think about how to help a man become more confident.

After all, most of men's fears are associated not with social success, but with women. Therefore, a lady of the heart, knowing about these fears, is able to help her man get rid of them. Exactly to help, and not to convince that they are all nonsense and nonsense. Behave in such a way that, without mentioning his phobias, support your chosen one, give him self-confidence and convince him that he can handle everything and he is able to overcome any difficulties.

Male fears and complexes

What men are afraid of in relationships with women

"Girls don't like me"

The emergence of the first male fears refers to adolescence... Failures on the personal front, which, due to age, are perceived as bitter and bitter, leave an imprint on the relationship between men and women and sometimes for life. The latent expectation of failure does not allow him to communicate with the girl naturally and freely: he seems to be expecting to be kicked out. The same insecurity and suspicion often manifests itself in adult men. After several setbacks, they stop meeting the opposite sex. Some get a life-long complex and complete confidence that full-fledged relationships with women are not for them, so they are afraid of the likelihood of being rejected. And others, due to the suffering inflicted in youth, generally turn into

• What to do? You can meet such a "wounded animal" in a team, in a club of interests, at a friends' party. He is unlikely to dare to approach you and start a conversation, but nothing prevents you from doing it. Did you find it interesting? Take the initiative: try to start a conversation on neutral topics, showing kindness and gentleness towards him. And if you like to chat, offer to continue your acquaintance. You can get a man out of the "pit" of fear only by starting a relationship with friendship.

"Nobody needs me!"

Men began to experience this fear in recent decades. Two hundred and even a hundred years ago, none of the men would have thought that he was not needed. Everything rested on them: home, work, economy. For a girl who had lost her parents, they were looking for at least some male relative to take custody of her. But the spread of feminism led to the fact that women began to provide themselves, and protect, and build houses and businesses, and even give birth to children - only for themselves. In such a situation, everyone normal man sooner or later asks himself the question: "Why does she need me?" Bed, intimate conversations, general entertainment - this is understandable, but it is not clear why he is not needed for something simple and vital - to bring bags from the market, to fix a tap. It is precisely this need for them that men understand. And if he, in his opinion, turns out to be unnecessary, sooner or later he will be asked to leave.

• What to do? Even if you are absolutely sure that you yourself will do something better and faster, entrust it to your husband. If something goes wrong, then you can redo it, but so that he does not know about it. Ask for help, convince you how much you need his support, shift it to men's shoulders everything that you do not want to carry on your own, and even the thought of uselessness will not appear in his head.

"I won't tell anyone anything!"

• What to do? If your man doesn't like being frank, don't force him to talk about sensitive topics. Themselves begin to voice the problem for him: "You are probably worried now ..." Doesn't help? Is she still silent or evades an answer? Do not pester with questions, just remember that the overwhelming majority of men are not talkative at all, they are more willing to do something significant than squeeze out words of love, tenderness or complaint. Hence the panic that any man falls into upon hearing the phrase: "I need to talk to you." Hundreds of variants of the most serious and difficult conversations instantly rush through his head - one more terrible than the other: betrayal, divorce, fatal diagnosis, etc. And you were just going to offer him an idea for the upcoming vacation! If you want to discuss something or find out his opinion on some issue - speak without this threatening preamble.

"Nobody will love me"

Most men are afraid that no one can love them the way they are. Every person has a desire to improve, achieve results, achieve goals, win and receive awards. In many men, this desire to achieve new heights is ineradicable, and while not all of them are conquered, it seems to them that they are not good enough to make someone's happiness. But women understand that you need to love him the way he is. And what will happen next, the future will show. This fear is especially acute for those men who have nothing, and those who have everything. The first one believes that he cannot be loved, because he has old Lada and unpromising work. The second is afraid that he will not be loved for the rich inner world and for profitable business and a mansion in a prestigious area.

• What to do? This fear can only be cured in one way: to love and more often say to him: "I love you for what you are, I just love."

"I can not! "

No one can convince a man that his masculinity is tested and confirmed not only in bed and the ability to make money. For all men, this is an axiom, which means that almost all of them are tormented by the fear of sexual and financial failure. If you wait for this and be afraid at the same time, then there will certainly be a failure somewhere. And fear after this at least once happened will torment and haunt constantly.

• What to do? If you witness a misfire, in no case show disappointment, reproach and be very careful in your statements. Otherwise, the words "Loser!" or "Loser!" can become a sentence for a man for the rest of his life. Only laughter is worse than that. He is already afraid of becoming the subject of ridicule, and even in such important issues and even more so.

"He's better than me!"

Very often, self-doubt erupts in men with the fear of being worse than former partner his beloved. He begins to compare, bombarding the lady with questions and trying to find out why he is better for her than the previous one. And if there is no visible it male eye will not see reasons, it will be very difficult to prove that a woman usually loves not for something, but just like that. Only a handsome man with a pumped-up body, who considers himself the navel of the Universe, will not be confused by such a comparison.

• What to do? Do not under any circumstances compare men in public and do not go into details of past relationships. Answer questions reluctantly - you do not want to remember the past. But try more, to emphasize how good he is in this or that business.

"I want to keep my freedom"

Unwillingness to marry, panicky horror in the eyes in response to the message about pregnancy - all these are manifestations of fear of losing independence, the notorious male freedom. Moreover, pregnancy is especially frightening, because you can evade the offer of a hand for a long time, it is quite another matter when it comes to the appearance of a baby. By the way, this is precisely why “on-the-fly” marriages are extremely rare. Even if everything, though at a snail's pace, but went to the wedding, there is still a chance to save the marriage. And if there were no prospects, a man will never come to terms with the fact that he was forced to marry. Fear of losing your freedom, getting married, or unplanned pregnancy life's companions can be explained, and many men get rid of him ... by getting married.

• What to do? Do not pressure a man if, in your opinion, he is in no hurry to marry you. There should not even be a hint of the necessity of such a step. Either act on him gently and subtly, or give up the relationship. Never hope that your love alone will be enough for happiness, and most importantly, to persuade a loved one to marry. Believe me harmonious relationship do not tolerate any one-sided bias.

"I am ashamed to be a freeloader"

The postulate that a man should bring money to the family and support it has been around for many centuries. In recent decades, when women turned from housewives into workers, it was supplemented by the assertion that the husband should bring more money to the family than the wife. And although the majority of men still earn more than their wives, there are more and more women who can not only support themselves, but earn a lot of money. Moreover, they themselves relate to this state of affairs quite calmly, unless the husband turns into a parasite and a loafer. But it seems to men that self-sufficient women treat their bankrupt husbands condescendingly, and when they take all the reins of government into their own hands, they push their husbands into the background.

• What to do? Help your man to realize himself in the profession, so that his earnings are at least at the same level as yours. If this is not possible, do not advertise your financial superiority, because your husband does not need to know what the true size of your income is, unless he is your accountant. And most importantly, never reproach your husband with low earnings, he is this to you.

"Why does she need such an IQ?"

Men are afraid smart women with a masculine mindset. But if a woman is not only smart, but also wise, she will help her chosen one to overcome both fears and complexes. And an intelligent woman with a masculine disposition sometimes, on the contrary, can easily play on each of the male fears. Despite the male bias that all smart women are bitches, this is not so. Men do not want to compete with women, and this is enough for them in the male environment. They expect something completely different from relations with the fair sex. So it turns out that clever girls and beauties are often unhappy in personal life... And the point is not that "the man grinded".

• What to do? Above all, do not overtly express your superiority. Many men shy away from smart women, because they are ashamed and offended to be lost against their background. Do not blame a man for slow thinking, do not point out slow thinking and ignorance.

The main thing is to understand that The best way to overcome men's fears is to accept them. Yes, they are, as well as women. But there is no need to emphasize them and claim that these are trifles. Think about ways to help your man gain self-confidence and try to get rid of them.

Under the constellation Virgo, reasonable, modest, restrained and pedantic men are born. The representative of this zodiac sign has high demands on women. An honest, loyal, serious, balanced and erudite lady can become a life partner for such a man.

How to conquer a Virgo man

The young lady who decided to conquer the Virgo man should forget about the typical female tricks... He will be scared off by flirting, outright coquetry, melodramatic scenes and sentimental promises.

The appearance of a potential darling should be modest, calm and neat: no bright colors in clothes, inducing make-up, excessive sexuality. For a Virgo man, intelligence is important in a woman. He will appreciate in a partner the ability to keep up a conversation on any topic. At the same time, his fan should be ready for some tricks and ironic remarks. Only a patient, self-confident lady will be able to withstand them with dignity, without stopping to answer offensive statements.

For a Virgo man in a woman, organization, punctuality and commitment are important. He will not tolerate a windy person next to him who does not know how to keep promises. A good housewife, a clean and practical woman, has every chance to win the heart of a representative of this zodiac sign.

A Virgo man should feel the reliability of his chosen one. In a relationship with him, a fan should be patient and try to understand the subtle mental organization of her beloved. He rarely shows feelings, and it is stupid and pointless to expect emotional confessions from him. Only a calm disposition, impeccable character and mind will help a lady achieve complete spiritual intimacy with such a man.

How to keep a Virgo man

The lady, whom the Virgo man chose, has every chance of a long and happy life with him. Her main task is to behave honestly and decently. To keep a representative of this zodiac sign next to her, a woman needs to pay attention to her intellectual development... She must have serious life goals.

For a Virgo man, it is important that his companion is well-groomed, neat and tidy: constantly have neat hairstyle and manicure, wore ironed clothes. In the house and in family budget also, there should always be order: no unnecessary expenses and unreasonable expenses. Having accepted the pedantry and pragmatism of the representative of this zodiac sign, it will be easier for the chosen one to understand him. The desire to change your partner and "adjust" her to your requirements is an integral part of a relationship with such a man. A companion should learn to listen to the opinion of her beloved and seek a compromise.

The representative of this zodiac sign is a real owner. By provoking him to jealousy, a woman risks losing him forever.

How to get a Virgo man back

Parting for a Virgo man is a painful and difficult process. He is serious about his choice and has a hard time fighting.

If the conflict was provoked by a man, then he, most likely, will take the initiative of reconciliation himself. He will need some time to analyze the situation and make the best decision.

If the partner is guilty, she should have a clear conversation with the chosen one. The detailed arguments presented with with a pure heart and sincere intentions. If a Virgo man catches falsity or lies, then the woman will not have the slightest chance. You can make peace with him only by fully realizing and admitting your guilt. The representative of this zodiac sign will not "scatter" a serious relationship.

Only betrayal and complete disappointment in a partner can make him leave forever. In this case, neither persuasion nor pity will help.

Women are not afraid to show their weakness, but he is unlikely to admit his phobias. Why do we women need to know about this? But because in this way we will better understand our man and be able to help in him difficult moment overcome the challenges that have arisen together.

So what is he afraid of?

— Diseases... What can be scarier for a man than being helpless? Therefore, at the first signs of a cold, a runny nose, he will panic, depression, go to bed under a warm blanket, turning pale and rolling his eyes.

— Poverty... A man, according to the established tradition, considers himself to be the breadwinner in the family, obliged to provide himself and his household with everything necessary. Therefore, fear makes him work in the sweat of his brow all the time, so that “for a rainy day” he will remain.

—Look funny... We often notice how a man reacts sharply, painfully to ridicule, even harmless humor addressed to him. And how he straightens his shoulders from any, the most incredible flattery.

— Strong women ... To be called the stronger sex is the prerogative of only men, and nothing else. He is strong always and in everything - and this should remain a fact.

— Loneliness... Not only we women are afraid in a certain age to remain alone when there is no one to serve a "glass of water" to. Maybe that's why some men get married?

— Stable relationship... This is the fear that with the woman you love you will have to share not only the bed, but also many everyday problems, be responsible not only for yourself.

— Prove to be weak... They, just like us, are vulnerable and sometimes sentimental, but in no case should they show their vulnerability in public, and even more so tears.

— Insolvency... Thrown by someone the phrase "You are a loser!" for a man it sounds like the harshest sentence. And in any area: sexual, professional, personal.

How to help your beloved man?

It is a woman who can help her beloved to get rid of such fears. In no case tell him that he did not live up to your hopes. Make it clear that his fears only exist in his head. Show that you do not need money, but only him. Discard the new coat and offer joint trip, because he is so tired, seeking family well-being. This will save him from the frantic race for money, career, power. Explain that there are many other pleasant things in life.

Do not get tired of complimenting him, thereby increasing his self-esteem. When you feel like he's done, don't get tired of talking about it. And this is not flattery at all, there is never a lot of attention. Remember, a confident man who has overcome his imaginary fears will give confidence to us women.