Single father - features of raising a child in an incomplete family. Single parent = dysfunctional family? Your boyfriend: don't be jealous

09.05.2019

Are you dating a single dad? It might be harder than you thought! If you are lucky enough to start a relationship with this rare specimen strong half humanity, you should learn all the pitfalls in order to be happy. Find out what to do if your man is!

rejoice

Yes, you are extremely lucky to meet a priori responsible man who will not disappear in nightclubs or fishing with friends. You can be sure that if he is not with you, then he is busy with the child! This is definitely a big plus, unless…

You don't see him for weeks, what to do?

Your boyfriend is constantly busy, and, it seems, it is clear why, and it is impossible to reproach him. But ... why is it so bitterly lonely evenings? Think about it, if your lover is not ready to let you into his little family, maybe not everything is going so smoothly in your relationship? Try to figure it out without pressure, show your willingness to get to know his child. If your boyfriend makes it clear to you that he is not going to let you into his private life, maybe this is not your man? But, if the acquaintance with a small miracle took place, be vigilant!

Don't compete

How often do girls of single fathers dig a hole for themselves, trying to replace a child mother. Good intentions... Remember, mother already exists (was), she is alone, and there won't be a second one. Don't try to educate little man or, God forbid, wait for him to show feelings in his direction. Try to take in the heart of the baby own place, but…

Don't curry favor

The child will immediately feel false, and this can play a cruel joke on you. Be yourself! You should not stuff your child into friends if he is not ready for this. But don't think you don't have a chance! Daddy liked you! Just be sincere and always friendly.

Get used to being in the background

Money, time, any resources in the first place go to the benefit of the child. If you're not ready for this state of affairs, just don't date a single dad.

Your boyfriend - : don't be jealous

If the mother of the child (pah, pah, pah) has not left this world, then one way or another your boyfriend interacts with her. Take it easy on these meetings, believe me, if this couple had a chance, they would be together.

Respect his parenting methods

Yes, we are all strong maternal instinct, sometimes weighed down by its dogmas and views on the upbringing of children. But, believe me, if you get into someone else's monastery, only trouble awaits you. It is so difficult for a single father to establish at least some educational process, but without you, he managed? Take his point of view, this is not your child, remember? If you cannot be silent, at least speak out not in front of the student.

Don't show your rights

Do you often see each other? So that the relationship with your lover does not go down the drain, try not to cause jealousy in the baby. Any manifestation of excessive tenderness does not lead to anything good. A child can react very negatively, and what decision do you think a father will make if his child is against meeting you?

Learn to walk through a minefield

Yes, at first you will have to control your every step. A single father is often looking for in his chosen one future mother for your child, and if you are not ready to become her, it is better not to plunge into this relationship with your head. In another situation, be prepared that both the loving eyes of your man and the jealous eyes of his child are constantly looking at you.

Your boyfriend - : realize your advantages

How often do girls get married without any idea what their chosen one will be like? family life! Do you have unique opportunity see demo future family. You can clearly see what kind of father your man is, how responsible he is, whether your views on education are similar, how he reacts to difficulties. Take advantage of it!

I turn to this topic not by chance. Because single fathers in our turbulent times are no less common than single mothers.

According to official statistics, there are now 300,000 of them. But, if in a woman the instinct of motherhood, the creation of everyday life (although not everyone wakes up), then everything is different with men. They are warriors, earners, defenders, etc. (also not given to everyone). This is how we were brought up from childhood, this is how we passed on from distant ancestors.

Of course, when in a relationship between a man and a woman candy-bouquet period, and children are born from this love union, no one thinks about the bad at that moment. On the contrary, everyone dreams only of a wonderful future, both for themselves and for their children. But life has prepared for you a blow, which is called in the stomach. It’s hard to stand on your feet from this blow, but you have to somehow still live on.

And here we come to the reasons why a man gets the status of a single father. And there are only two reasons:
1 - Divorce or separation of parents, after which the child remains to live with his father.

2 - Death of the mother (the most terrible loss).

And in one and in the other case, the man will have the strongest psychological trauma, with questions: “Why?”, “What did I do wrong?”, “For what?”, “How could she?”, “HOW TO LIVE FURTHER?” and others.

It takes time to come to your senses. But that time is NOT! The life and health of your child depends on you!

Therefore, FIRST: put off all emotions for later, take a piece of paper and draw up detailed plan his later life(Let this sentence seem ridiculous to some). In it, you should describe in detail what you will undertake first of all. This depends on the age of your child. If you are left with a small child in your arms - these are some problems, if this is already a teenager - others. And, of course, you need to consider your daughter or son. There may be such a situation that there are two or more children.

Approximate points of your plan:
1) Financial situation whether you can give your child everything they need. If earnings are low, change jobs, find additional source income (I don’t recommend robbing banks - they’ll put you in jail, the child will be left all alone).

2) Are there living conditions that can or should be changed in better side? Now this is a very topical issue. The guardianship authorities can calmly take the child if they consider that the proper conditions for life and development have not been created for the child.

3) If the child is small - a kindergarten or a nanny? With whom to leave it at a time when you are late at work?

4) Correct distribution of time. Previously, you simply didn’t think about how much time a woman spends on household issues: - laundry (on what days), - cleaning the apartment (by yourself or invite someone), - paying receipts for utilities, - shopping for groceries, for clothes for yourself and for the child, - cooking (by yourself or someone else), a variety of menus, is the child allergic to any products. - what to do if the child is ill? - walks.

5) Communication with the child. This is very important point. - first of all, he needs to explain in an accessible way, correlating development with age, that mom will no longer be with you. For any child, a mother means a lot in life. And you must find Right words to clarify the situation. Children do not know or should not know your problems (at least until some time). But they don't have to lie! - talk with your child as much as possible, take an interest in everything (how did you sleep, what did you dream about, what is his mood today, what was interesting in kindergarten(at school), and so on.

These simple conversations will bring you closer and distract you from sad thoughts. - plan joint activities, shopping, hiking. In general, try to be together as much as possible. This will give the child a sense of security. But, in no case, not in places of entertainment and drunken companies. Such trips, on the contrary, will injure the psyche. - if you have little free time, explain this to your child, tell him what you do (but not in black colors), and try to find at least one YOUR day a week when you will completely belong to your son or daughter. It will be easier for your child to bear your absence on other days, and he will look forward to YOUR day. And if you promised, then never cheat, no matter what it costs you. This resentment will last for a long time. - Involve your child in household chores at any age (grocery, cleaning, laundry, cooking). And be sure to praise! - Read books aloud, go to the cinema, to the park, to the forest, to the gym, play football (with dolls if it's a girl). But don't flirt with him and don't give him gifts because of the guilt you feel. Finding this edge can be quite difficult. - If you have a teenager in transitional age, and you see that some problems have arisen, you begin to lose control over the situation, contact a psychologist. There is nothing to worry about, and the situation can be changed in time. - Get a pet (any).

6) yours personal life. - Whatever age you are, you need to communicate with the opposite sex. In no case do not make yourself an ascetic, but you don’t need to rush into all serious things either. If your child is still very young, then you don’t have to explain everything to him.

And if the age is from 9 years to 15, then difficulties may arise. This is jealousy, and misunderstanding, and even aggression. All these reactions are connected with the fact that the child is simply afraid of losing you, your attention. Do not acquaint him with all your "sympathies" at once. And if, nevertheless, you opted for some woman, then first talk with the child, then organize some kind of event outside the home. Let the dating process be unobtrusive. Each man must get out of such a situation on his own, given the nature of his child.

If it is not necessary to refuse communication with the opposite sex, then men's parties, feasts in the company of friends will have to be abandoned. As you can see, you don’t have time for this, and there is no benefit to the child from such gatherings. And the interests of the child now you have to come first.

Here, perhaps, are the main primary tasks that you will face daily. There will be many more current issues. Having become a single father, you will have to reconsider a lot in your life, because the future of your little man now depends on you. I sincerely believe that you want your child to grow up not only physically developed, but also morally healthy, spiritually rich and just HAPPY!

Raising a child is a difficult, painstaking, but very joyful process. But, even having solved all the material and everyday problems By learning how to properly organize time, you have to defeat yourself! Learn to trust again to enjoy life. And this is very difficult task! And you have no other way, because you truly love your children!

It is sad, but in our country, along with there are single fathers. They have a huge responsibility.

If, in the presence of a spouse, a faithful companion, a mother of common children, one can somehow share responsibilities: household chores, activities with children, walks - on his wife, and heavy men's work, repairing a house, getting money for the family - this is already a man's business. And when he is left alone, it doesn’t matter if his wife died, just left the family, went missing, ended up in prison - you have to pull everything yourself.

Of course, you should not distinguish between single fathers and single mothers. In any case, when determining the status of the family, there will be an “incomplete” mark, and there is no longer a difference whether children are left without a mother or without a father. Such men, as well as women, need support, and not only psychological. On the financial assistance all single parents raising one or more minor children are eligible from the state.

Conditions and procedure for obtaining status

AT recent times throughout Russia, special centers are regularly created that specialize in supporting single fathers. Employees of such institutions are ready to provide comprehensive assistance to men who are raising their children alone. This includes practicing medicine and dealing with complex legal issues, as well as psychological support in a difficult life situation.

So, to put it clearly, on the social support a single father has the right to count if:

the mother of his children;
she is dead or missing;
mother in judicial order declared incompetent due to serious mental or other disorders.

Legislative basis of the issue

Legislation Russian Federation officially does not provide for such a thing as a "single father".

However, all the same, men, alone, on their own, without a mother, raising relatives or, are considered lonely. Moreover, this fact is not affected in any way by the reason for the absence of the mother in the family. She may be deprived parental rights may be in a place of deprivation of liberty or long-term treatment, even forced in a psychiatric clinic. She could be recognized as missing, or during a divorce, the court decided to leave the children to her ex-spouse due to the dishonesty and unreliability of this citizen.

Despite the paradox of lack of recognition this status official, single fathers all the same provided social guarantees at the federal level as a separate category of the population. Such a citizen is automatically equated with a single mother, that is, everyone, and he has the same ones as mothers. This became possible thanks to the International Labor Convention, which refers to the equality of working women and men.

The same applies to the state. Strictly speaking, by law, this payment is due to any officially recognized parent of the second child born in the family. However, in practice in Russia there were cases when PFR employees refused fathers who applied for capital, arguing that the certificate was “mother's”, which means that fathers are not allowed. After some time, the situation was corrected. Now, without any problems, a father left without a wife for any reason has the right to use federal funds to provide housing, education, etc. for his children.

State Aid Rules

According to Labor Code of the Russian Federation, single fathers are provided the following legal guarantees:

In the social sphere a man who is a single father is guaranteed the same rights and benefits as single mothers. He can receive on his son or daughter.

In the event of the death of his wife, his child is entitled to, and in the event of a divorce, he has the right to demand alimony from his ex-wife. They will be collected in the usual manner prescribed by law.

In addition, do not forget about. It is for men too. If the child is not one and a half years old, then he can write an application to his boss for parental leave with due. They do not have the right to refuse him, especially if he is a single father.

FIU has no right to refuse single father in receiving and disposing of maternity (family) capital. The fact of the death of the woman who owned the document, or the deprivation of her parental rights, means the legal transfer of the ability to dispose of this money to the father. If a man is denied acceptance of documents for maternal capital, he can safely apply to the social security authorities, the prosecutor's office, the court.

single parent has the right to double size. Usually, the tax service (or the employer) returns 1,400 rubles for each child, and 3,000 rubles for the third and subsequent children. Consequently, single fathers will be able to claim 2,800 monthly for each of their children.

Concerning housing, then here single fathers have nothing to count on. Is it only for compensation for renting an apartment, and this program is valid only in Moscow. To do this, you must draw up a lease agreement, then the municipality will return maximum amount at 6400 rubles.

In general, a single father, along with his children, can state program to improve living conditions. To do this, the area of \u200b\u200bresidence per person in the apartment should be less statutory minimum. Then, most likely, he will become a prime contender for the issuance of housing or a certain amount for its purchase.

In schools, kindergartens and other institutions for the children of single fathers. They are also entitled to a doctor's prescription, sets for newborns, and baby for babies, school uniform before the beginning school year etc. B summer period at least once a year, each child from such an incomplete family is guaranteed in a wellness, sports camp or a sanatorium.

Types of financial support

In 2019, fathers raising young children alone may qualify for next help by the state and regional authorities:

Guarantees are provided the same as for single mothers, from Labor Code RF.
Single fathers are entitled to a one-time allowance in the amount of RUB 17,479.73, at the birth of a child.
It is possible to arrange paid leave to care for a baby until he reaches the age of one and a half years and receive benefits.
Until the child reaches the age of majority, a single father may receive monthly allowance, depending on the legislation of the region.
At the expense of regional budgets, such citizens will be compensated for the costs incurred to pay for preschool institutions.
Single fathers have the right to take advantage tax deduction double at checkout legal deals with real estate.
If a man is raising two or more children without the help of his mother, then he can apply to the Pension Fund for maternity capital.
In the event that a mother suddenly died in the family and the father is forced to take care of minor children on his own, he can apply for a survivor's pension.
If the children stayed with the father after the divorce, then the law allows him to file statement of claim to the court for withholding alimony from the former spouse.
When calculating personal income tax, single fathers are entitled to preferences, the amount of which varies in the range from 1400 rubles. up to 3000 rub.

Registration procedure

To apply for all the benefits, privileges and payments due to a single father, you should contact the department social security citizens at the place of residence, to the Pension Fund or MFC (multifunctional center).

Concerning set of documents, then the main ones will be:

An application with a clear requirement for the provision of a particular benefit.
Passport with a valid residence permit.
children, their and other documents.
(issued at the MFC or the passport office).
Copy of work book.

The practice of obtaining allowances for single fathers in Russia is rather poor, however, in order not to infringe on the rights of this category of the population, experts are trying to do everything possible.

Although, to be honest, men, most likely, due to the peculiarities of their nature, very rarely turn to the state with such requests. Apparently, they are trying to overcome all difficulties on their own.

The rights of single fathers are described in the video:

“We met, began to live together, then pregnancy and marriage,” says Yuri, father of 14-year-old Oleg, “My wife was from a dysfunctional family, so they began to live with me. A child was born, visually impaired. I transferred to the criminal investigation department, almost spent all the time at work. Placed his wife in the department private security. That's where her "sprees" began.

At work, Yura's wife found the "man of her dreams" and moved with her child to live with a friend, taking things, valuables and money. One day, Yuri came to his wife's friend late in the evening: “I saw my child, sick, barefoot on the floor. The wife was not at home. I took Oleg to me, filed for divorce. The court awarded the child to me, and my wife breathed a sigh of relief. He was then two years old."

Yuri is sure that his son endured the separation from his mother easily: “I have been talking to him since childhood as an adult. He immediately explained that we did it with his mother. Maybe he was worried, but he did not show it.

Popular

Yuri admits: “I never raised a child with the help of the phrases“ You are not grown up ”,“ It’s none of your business. We decided everything together." Even when another woman appeared in Yuri’s life, there were no problems, the son understood everything: “He was already 11 years old. My current wife also has a child. So now I have both a son and a daughter.”

Struggle for capital

Alexander in family life was even less fortunate. Both of his marriages turned out to have an unhappy ending: “The first marriage was unsuccessful: the wife drank and walked. As a result, I deprived her of parental rights and sued her son.”

Soon Alexander met a girl, Ira. They began to meet, live together, and then got married. AT new family a girl was born, but when she was 8 months old, her wife had a brain hemorrhage.

So Alexander became a single father with two children in his arms. They lived then in a room in a communal apartment. As Sasha says, he first fed his baby like a kitten: “I will dip her finger in milk, and then I will put it in her mouth. She hasn't even been bottle-trained yet." Then Sasha's father was paralyzed, he had to move to help his mother: "Father and daughter sometimes scream together, you don't know who to run to."

Alexander could not get a job, there was no one to leave the baby with. Friends advised me to apply for maternity capital. But here the difficulties began. At the local branch pension fund documents were refused. After all, the law does not say anything about "paternal" capital, only about "maternal". Then Alexander filed with the prosecutor's office, and then the court.

The story of Alexander attracted public attention, the same single fathers wrote to him, he was invited to television. Most of the sympathizers were sure that he would not succeed. But helpers also appeared: our compatriots from abroad began to write to Alexander, transfer money.

According to Alexander, on the day before the announcement of the court decision, he went to church. And the next he was awarded "maternity capital". He spent it on fulfilling the desire of his late wife - on a "family nest".

Father's daughter

Alena herself chose which of her parents to stay with. When her mother left for another man, the then 13-year-old girl sided with her father: “I thought that mom was doing wrong, and dad should not be left alone, without female care. Dad was uncomfortable, but on the other hand, he became free. He called the gap a release from his mother's authoritarianism. Then I thought that it was my duty to be with him, because he loves me very much. I took it as the only option."

But life with his father was not always rosy and cloudless: “There were difficulties, like everyone else. The first year was especially difficult. But then we got used to it, of course. Dad was always very worried about me, he didn’t let me go on dates, he didn’t allow me to stay for a long time visiting my girlfriends.

Now Alena is already 26 years old, she has been living her own life for a long time: “My dad and I communicate very warmly, we tell each other about what happened to us. We don't see each other very often anymore. I began to travel far to see him, but we call each other regularly. For all the years I have never regretted that I stayed with my father.

Recorded by Tatyana Pshenichnaya

Not all men are ready to date a single mother, and, of course, not everyone is ready to marry a woman who already has a child. This is a reality that millions of women face, but when it comes to single fathers, the situation changes.

Women in general are much more tolerant of a man having “baggage” in the form of a child, and some even consciously want to get to know a single father. Relationships with such men have their own characteristics and pitfalls.

How to communicate with a single father so as not to scare him away, and how to build a relationship with his child - in new article website.

How to find an approach to a single father?

Single fathers: what are they?

single father

Someone at the word "single father" immediately imagines the hero of the film "Sleepless in Seattle" performed by Tom Hanks - a grieving widower with a little son looking for his dad a new wife.

But we all understand that cinema is not real life, and in fact, single fathers are very, very different, as well as single mothers. You won't say that all single women with children look alike, will you?

In men, everything also happens very differently, because single fathers become different reasons: someone was widowed, someone “won back” the children from his ex-wife, someone decided to take the children for himself so as not to pay alimony (especially when it comes to rich man ).

But there are a number common features that distinguish single fathers - for example, they are generally more responsible and more reserved. After all, raising a child is a real school of life, when every day you have to learn something new and cope with new difficulties.

If you have a child, then you yourself know perfectly well how the character changes due to the need to take care of a loved one and such a dependent creature on a daily basis. So, of course, men who raise a child on their own are different from ordinary men, and, at first glance, this is a huge plus.

Such a man is more understanding, more tolerant, more responsible, he is better aware of the consequences of his actions.

At the same time, there is one significant drawback - the child for such a man is likely to be in the first place, and it is you, and not the man, who will have to adapt. In addition, when making a decision, he will primarily focus on the child.

By the way, the opinion that all single fathers are looking for new mom for your child, in most cases erroneously, especially if real mom alive.

In fact, just like ordinary men, single fathers are primarily looking for a life partner beloved, who can share with him and difficulties life together, and joy. In any case, do not try to pretend to be caring mother especially if you don't have children of your own.

What should never be done?

Single father: how to find an approach to him?

single father

If you want to please a single father, then first of all you need to learn to listen very carefully to everything he says. This will help you understand in what role he sees you and, accordingly, what behavior is expected of you.

The main thing is not to put pressure on yourself and not to force things as far as communication with the child is concerned. Let the man lead, and you just follow him. By the way, if he introduced you to his child and offered to spend time together, then this already speaks of the seriousness of his intentions.

It can be very traumatic for a child to constantly change "moms", and most single dads understand this, so they will not introduce each of their partners.

As already mentioned, you should not build yourself perfect mom, especially if it does not suit your character, it can alienate both dad and child. You do not need to fully focus on the child, demonstrating feelings that are not there yet.

Consider also that a man has learned to behave in the presence of a child and correct his behavior almost from his birth, and you will have to master this science from scratch.

Get ready for the fact that you will make mistakes - and here it is important not to stand in a pose on principle, but to admit that you are wrong and you may not know something about raising children.

Communication with a man and his child is generally a bit like walking through a minefield, and in this sense it is easier for single mothers, although even here there are problems in the form of a mismatch of views on upbringing and compatibility of the characters of children.

It has been repeatedly said that men do not look for a second mother to a child, but there is no need to become a second “child” either.

Most single dads would like to see a patient and understanding woman next to them who will not compete with a child for his time, money, attention and love.

Women's Experience: Real Stories

Single Father: The Secret to a Lasting Relationship

single father

Relationships with a single parent are very different from relationships with an ordinary man, and, perhaps, the most important rules have already been formulated in the previous part: do not try to replace your mother, do not force things and do not compete with the child.

It is also very important to understand that much of what you do and what seems right and natural to you may not please the father, and also cause irritation and rejection in the child and will be perceived by him as a threat.

We tried to compile a list of the most important "NOTs" - things that should not be done if you want to maintain a relationship with a single father.

Don't try to raise your child like a mother . Think for yourself - how would you, in the place of a child, react to the fact that unknown woman breaks into your life and begins to command.

In addition, a man may have his own ideas about how to raise a child, so do not create another reason for conflict.

Don't pretend to be all time men. Of course, you want attention, you want to be with your beloved man, but you have to come to terms with the fact that his free time belongs not only to you.

In addition, if you aggressively demand attention and interfere in the father-child relationship, then the child, not yet accustomed to your company, will see you as a threat and reject you.

Treat with understanding if a man decides to spend the evening only with a child, without you - both of them need this.

Don't demand undivided attention. Here the situation is almost the same as with time. The child will feel threatened in his relationship with his father. In addition, you can not demand the same attitude towards yourself as towards a child.

Of course, many women want to feel like little girls who are taken care of and loved, but here is a different situation - a man expects support from you, and if you are not ready to provide it, then perhaps you should not continue the relationship?

Also, always remember that the child is more important to him than you, although this sounds insulting and painful. If you want to be a favorite child for a man, choose a childless one.

Don't be intrusive. If you were introduced to a child, you do not need to immediately demand active joint actions from him.

Relationships take time to form, so do not insist on your company, always leave the child the right to choose - let him reach out to you. If he is looking for contact, then meet him cordially, but with restraint.

He must know that he will receive support in your person, but at the same time he must also understand that you are not one of those who can be manipulated.

Do not show your love in front of a child. For many single fathers, this is a very important moment, and the reason is the reluctance to injure the child.

It's not just that you might not be the first potential stepmother, but also in the fact that the expression of intimacy, especially at the beginning of a relationship, will be perceived by the child as a threat.

Before that, daddy hugged and kissed only him, and now tenderness and love are also given to some extraneous woman. First one, then the other. By the way, this is not the most good example to emulate.

Do not be jealous of the child's mother. If she is alive, and the child stayed with the father simply by mutual decision of the spouses, then she will inevitably be present in the life of a man anyway.

No need to accept healthy adult relationships former spouses like the return of love. Understand that main reason, by which they still communicate, is a child.

In addition, the ability of a man to adequately and benevolently communicate with ex-wife only speaks for him.

Do not demand to have another child with you. The desire to have a child from a loved one is quite natural and understandable, but often single fathers are not eager to go through the stages of growing up a child again.

it perfect option for women who are not going to give birth, but those who dreamed of their children may be disappointed.

Single fathers: real stories

single father

No matter how we prepare and no matter how savvy in theory, life turns out to be much more complicated and multifaceted in reality. It is impossible to predict everything, and sometimes a problem can arise where we did not expect.

Marina, 28 years old:

“I don’t have my own children yet, but I always really wanted a baby. When I met Lesha and found out that he had a son and he was raising him alone, I was delighted. I really wanted to try myself as a mother and I enthusiastically took on this new role.

My grandmother recently died and left an apartment in the suburbs, where we moved together with Lesha and Igoryasha (his seven-year-old son). I was so happy that at first I did not pay attention to the fact that Lesha did not really fit into the image ideal father.

At first everything went well, and then I noticed that he began to drink and walk too often. I imagined that the three of us would live friendly family, but he just dumped all the worries about the child on me.

I worked two jobs trying to earn money for my child's food and clothing. Lesha had previously worked as a security guard, but then he abandoned his work, and I became the sole breadwinner.

I don’t know what kind of clouding of consciousness I had, that I endured all this. But I fell in love with Igoryasha so much, even my heart sank - I was so worried about him, I tried to buy better food for him, and clothes, and toys.

I really wanted to replace his mother, to give him what he was deprived of - warmth and care. And once he called me mom - I almost burst into tears, and among my friends I already called him “my son”, “my child”.

And then suddenly showed up real mother Igor, who, according to Lesha, abandoned her son a long time ago. But it wasn't like that at all! She did not officially refuse the child - she simply left with another lover, and then returned.

I had real shock. Naturally, she immediately demanded that I return Igor, and Lesha did not even object to her. The child had to be given away. We started scandals with Lesha, I cried every day.

Then I began to hallucinate that I heard Igor, and Lesha called my mother. I was taken to the hospital, I spent about three months there. I don't want to talk about the diagnosis, but I still have to take medication regularly.

Now I rent that apartment and sometimes I come there - the neighbors say that Igor is now completely abandoned - his mother drinks and she doesn't need him at all. But what can I do? It still hurts me to think about it, I feel very sorry for the child.”

A very sweet and calm girl. After a general “family” acquaintance, Nikolai and I, that was the name of my new acquaintance, began to meet often, go out with the girls to nature, and have picnics by the river.

The children got on well with each other, we also liked each other. And we were very pleased that the girls immediately became friends, because it main stone stumbling blocks.

We thought that both had finally found a full-fledged big family. Then I didn’t know that there were harder stones in these relationships - Nikolai had his own a private house and his mother lived with him and his daughter.

It was she who ran the household in the house and was the head of the family, if you know what I mean. From the first minute we were introduced, she always did everything to spite me. And no one could say a word to her.

They didn’t let me into their kitchen, and when I tried to cook something at home, bring it and treat it, I was told that they don’t like it here, regardless of what I cooked. Even though she was a terrible cook.

We met for a year, I tried to somehow get along with his mother, but it didn’t work out, and our relationship gradually withered. Six months later, he suddenly again offered to arrange our family picnic by the river, as we always did.

There I learned that his mother was gone. With Nikolai and Sasha, as if someone took a huge and heavy stone. Soon he invited me and the girls to move in with Sasha - the girls were all for it!

Could you marry a man with a child?

Sara Creek