What makes a couple stable and what most families don't have is about family goals. Family passion - one for all
Why are married couples formed? Because young people are drawn to each other, they succumb to hormones, the state of being in love, passion. And at that moment, few people think about joint interests, which in a few years become the main reasons for divorce. Spouses are simply bored to be around, irritation arises.
Americans have long been engaged in this topic, involving psychologists and physiologists who study married couples, their foundation, life, interests, divorces, if they happen. The sad thing is that the results show how few common interests the spouses have. The spouses are burdened by this, but do nothing; their subconscious irritation turns into various pathologies in behavior, the tangle becomes tangled, it becomes very difficult for a person not only in the family, but also in society.
Every third man in America spends his evening leisure in front of the TV. At the same time, the wife can be at home and do her own business or housework. At first glance, such a homely idyll: the whole family is assembled, the TV is strumming, the children are chatting, and a strict, tired dad clicks the remote control on the sofa. And dad would be happy not to click, but to stretch his soul, but mom does not understand him, and she is not interested in listening to him, especially since for 15 years life together there is no such tradition. TV is distracting, relaxing and creates an imaginary feeling of relaxation. Not really better holiday than conversations with a person who is interested in this, who will understand and support.
Such leisure affects the character. The brain atrophies, it gets used to a state of apparent relaxation, attempts to carefully watch programs on a tired head ... Several years of such a life leads to a noticeable decrease in the reaction and ingenuity of a man who is used to "disconnecting" from his family in search of second entertainment on the screen. A person loses the habit of thinking, thinks more slowly, eventually cannot take the initiative, makes decisions with difficulty.
It is no wonder that in such conditions relations degrade, people move away, there are no common emotions, themes ... Even TVs, which are modern houses in each room, and then viewed separately by spouses and children. Well, okay, even children - they have their own lives, but what prevents spouses from watching something together, discussing, worrying or laughing? Even if watching TV, if there are no other interests, it is also able to give something in common, to become link in emotional connection two loving friend friend of people. Or no longer in love?
American psychologists who are doing research family relations, argue that the family is not connected with one TV. In addition to spiritual food, there is also physical work, and it not only ennobles, but also becomes an important link. When work is argued together, amicably, when together people feel tired and satisfied with what has been done, this brings them closer and disposes to mutual trust. sedentary lifestyle and total absence physical activity affects not only the health of people, but also their psyche.
Even the WHO was puzzled by the introduction of special programs aimed at the development of physical activity couples for whom it will be useful not only to become closer to nature, but also to take a fresh look at themselves and their families. When there is a feeling of a common cause, common emotions, common pleasure, then people become closer. Those. people come together in common conditions.
For organization active leisure does not require large financial outlays. Yes, you can also do youth recreation: rollerblading, skiing, cycling, yes, even equestrian sports or tennis! But this can be complicated by the purchase of uniforms or geographically inconvenient regions. But it's not about money or the lack of a snowy slope at all! It is very easy to arrange evening walks, joint care of plants in home garden, morning runs or hardening process, which can turn into a good tradition of year-round douche cold water. But you never know what you can think of things to do to spend time together! If there are teenagers in the family, then common leisure with them not only brings them closer, it helps to imbue the psychology of youth, which greatly facilitates mutual understanding.
In order not to lose spiritual (and bodily - too) intimacy, it is important to have some kind of joint hobby. For example, dancing. There is nothing better than dancing with your loved one. Oddly enough, but in old age, dancing gives more confidence and strengthens wonderful feelings. That distant state of love and carelessness returns. Psychologists believe that pair dancing helps rapprochement, because. contributes to the introduction into the personal space of a person. Being so close, people experience completely new emotions.
Another moment. Why in the pictures where it is shown family idyll, necessarily have a house, a lawn, children and a dog? Because the family pet is another reason to be close to the household, to take care and be touched; when major goals in life are achieved, you can get a pet to make it warmer and more comfortable in your soul. Moreover, care and responsibility is such a huge stimulus to life!
In other words, leisure, life, hobbies, one-time adventures and other emotional and physical activities should be taken by the spouses together. After all, what kind of family is this if a husband and wife live their own lives and their own interests? Sometimes you can not do anything useful, but just fool around or nostalgic about "the affairs of bygone days ...". Americans love to reason and communicate, and this is their merit over other couples. They organize all kinds of schools and trainings, collect married couples, talking, offering them role-playing games, close communication. By the way, games can be developed to a very interesting scale, and children can also be involved in them. Get involved in the game, get distracted from business, quarrels, loans and worries, and unity sets in. And then nothing is scary, because the spouses are together!
The joint cultural program is also important. Visiting exhibitions, concerts, museums, theaters. The joint desire to be "on the wave of time" to give a reason to discuss what they saw, to have fun and replenish their horizons. Unfortunately, the statistics turn out to be deplorable: every fourth couple after 40 organizes cultural trips, and every eighth couple after 50 thinks about a joint cultural program. At the same time, the intervals cultural events can be calculated in years. Most couples complain about the lack of time, but do not understand how to plan it so that leisure falls into family schedules.
In conclusion, we can add that everything is good in moderation. Personal space, personal time and no one has yet canceled personal hobbies. Even spouses need at least two hours a day to be alone and rest from communication. As for a hobby, it is quite acceptable, because everyone can have their own and different. Another thing is that we should try to spend time together, but not to the detriment of our own interests. For those who manage to find this golden mean, can consider themselves a successful and happy family. Yes, it will be so clear!
When the relationship between a man and a woman is still at the stage of formation, then people in love spend a large number of time together.
Each of the partners seeks to know not only personality traits chosen one, but also his area of interest. At the same time, the future ones are completely sure that their hobbies coincide with the second half, and they will not be bored in family life.
But when it passes a certain amount of time together, you can hear the following phrase: “My husband and I have different interests. He sits at the computer all evening. Often one of the partners is dissatisfied with the fact that his chosen one devotes little time to the implementation of any joint activities. As a result, coldness sets in and indifference to each other, which is reinforced by the irritability of partners and the development conflict situations. Lack of common interests leads to sever relations and the destruction of even the strongest marriage.
Based on statistical data, the following common interests are most often noted between a man and a woman:
1. Musical preferences.
If you and your spouse have the same musical tastes, then this great way get even closer to him. To do this, attend concerts of your favorite artist or group with your partner, and also organize at home romantic evenings to the sound of your favorite tunes. But if your preferences in music differ sharply from the aesthetic tastes of your spouse, then it is advisable to at least accept the style of music that he likes. After all, this is also a great opportunity expand your own range of knowledge in the art of music. The partner will definitely pay attention to your aspirations and will definitely appreciate them.
2. Tastes in food.
If you like to have a delicious meal with your chosen one or you like the process of cooking, then you can perfectly diversify family leisure. To do this, find recipes for delicious or exotic dishes and cook them together with your spouse. If you don't want to practice your culinary arts, go to a restaurant with a partner and choose your favorite dishes together based on shared eating habits.
3. active image life.
Sports and healthy lifestyle life brings family members closer together. At the same time, you have a lot of topics for communication, which not only unites you with your spouse, but also has a positive effect on overall well-being. But if you prefer football, then you do not have to attend the women's football section. You can just "cheer" for your loved one at the stadium or discuss the results with him football match. In addition, you have a great opportunity to spend free time together with your loved one.
4. Friends.
If you and your partner have mutual friends, then you can have fun with friends. To do this, organize joint event and invite people close to you to it. It can be a Mafia-style party or a field trip. If each of the spouses has his own circle of acquaintances, then you should not be upset about this. You can think over with a partner a common event to which you invite your friends.
If you feel that you are spending less and less time with your loved one and your interests no longer coincide, then talk to him about this topic. To do this, choose the warmest and tender words. You should not start a conversation with claims or accusations against the chosen one.
Tell your life partner that you feel lonely and would like to spend more free time doing things together.
In addition, psychologists recommend doing training with your spouse to find common interests.
To do this, take a piece of paper and a pen. Next, each of the spouses must independently write a list of 20 favorite activities that he would like to do together with his chosen one. You can even add to the list activities that you have never done, but they seem interesting and exciting to you. After that, exchange leaflets with your spouse and evaluate each activity from the list on a ten-point system. Then define what do you and your chosen one have in common points of contact. If the type of activity scored more than 5 points, then it can be classified as relevant. Write out your interests on a separate piece of paper and plan a joint pastime for the coming weekend.
In some cases, psychologists advise even to determine special days weeks to spend with each other. For example, on Saturday you will visit the theater, and on Sunday you will go to play tennis with your spouse.
In this way, the common interests of the couple will strengthen the family union, as well as help restore harmony and mutual understanding in relationships with a person.
Family hobbies are an opportunity to find common interests for children and adults. What for? For family leisure to be inspiring, unifying. There's nothing good about when the weekend and during summer vacation all family members scatter about their business and do not intersect: someone reads, someone fishes, someone goes to the forest, sews and knits ... It is much better if you can find things that will unite the whole family. There are many options for such hobbies, let's look at them in this article.
For many families, some of the best family memories are tourist trips, hikes, excursions. Being outdoors together, putting up a tent, making a fire, sleeping under the stars, spending time together is great. This is remembered for a lifetime. Any family hobby should be unifying - just as much as a family hike does.
Finding the perfect (or nearly perfect) family hobby can be tricky. Often family members have dramatically different views about what's fun, and finding an activity that can bring all family members together can seem like an almost impossible task.
Let's try to suggest five key criteria for finding and adopting a family hobby.
Age
Walking can indeed be a hobby. You can prepare an itinerary for every weekend and walk together.
Gradually, this will become a habit and become a favorite pastime.
Growth in complexity
Family history (genealogy). Genealogy - a good option family hobby, if the children are not very young. Children love the detective aspect of this activity, and each of us is pleased to learn about personal and family heritage.
Radio controlled models. Many people like cars, tanks and radio-controlled planes. Run airplanes and quadcopters outdoors every weekend, ships in the river, cars in the house in winter. Collect models, modify modification, learn to repair.
Board games today - great option a family hobby because they are incredibly diverse and provide a choice of games for all ages. One of the hobbies board games- picking up puzzles: it's a kind of board game that unites everyone. Just choose puzzles with a lot of details and collect them with the whole family, you can immediately stick them on the base and decorate the walls in the house. It is also interesting to collect various puzzles. Another option (if your whole family is going crazy with electronics) is family games on the game console(prefix).
Drawing. If you can draw with the whole family, then this hobby can captivate each of you seriously. First you can try coloring books like art therapy (there are editions, interesting for teenagers and dads, for example, Doodle Invasion - ), creator's Kit. You can then select books from step by step lessons most simple drawing and then more and more complex. You can draw not only landscapes and still lifes, but also comics. This hobby may be related to the premises of museums. There may also be a passion for mosaics, modeling, painting and other types of creativity.
Collecting- a classic hobby that is usually carried out by one of the family, but you can try to translate this hobby into the category of families. Think about what can unite you all in the family - postcards, coins, decks of playing cards, dolls, tin soldiers, cars, puppet miniature?.. Options collecting- an infinite number, among them there are probably your option!
cooking. Delicious food everyone loves! Cooking interesting meals or baking can really bring the whole family together very easily. Kids can help cook, everyone can discuss menus and plans together, go shopping, and then spend time in the kitchen, and then at the table. The good news is that this hobby will become yours. family value: all your friends and relatives will love to come to visit you. A very pleasant hobby, for which you need only inspiring cookbooks and tableware.
Music- very wide field for creativity. We can play instruments with the whole family (oddly enough, there are not so few musical families), sing, collect folk instruments different countries go to concerts classical music, or compose on synthesizer interesting melodies that you can share with your friends online. Most importantly, remember - the whole family!
Garden - summer activity, but not only. Planting seedlings and tubers of many colors also captures autumn, seedlings - spring, and in winter you can study varieties, plants, growing methods. cook in winter seeds. The main thing is to get carried away with everything together, so that it doesn’t happen that mom plants, persuades everyone to transport seedlings to the dacha, worries, flies and waters, and everyone else is busy with other things. Children can also help here (everyone has a penchant for working on the ground) - they can do flower beds, strawberries, pruning shrubs, weave interesting fences, and dads can come up with and implement irrigation systems, put good greenhouses, cut trees. Together, you can also take care of the harvest - to collect, cook jam, pickle cucumbers. And all this you can treat your friends!
RoomMates Interior Stickers football championship.
Sewing- a great hobby, but, unfortunately, it is very difficult for them to captivate dad and adult son. It is suitable for a family only if dad can also sew, make something from fabric (for example, rag dolls).
Sport- unlike sewing, here, on the contrary, it is difficult to captivate not dad, but mom. A lot of dads and sons are seriously passionate about football. Try to think about how to include mom in this hobby - maybe appoint her as the head of collecting cards and stickers with football players or hockey players (Panini offers such series) and buying good soccer balls, decorating a room in football style, or all together do sport?
Animals- an immense topic for the study of the whole family. You can get an unusual pet (like a spider!), go to pet stores and zoos, learn how to draw animals, collect the Insects and Friends series, study animal encyclopedias, read Red Book, decorate the walls in the house interior stickers with animals. This topic will prepare the child for the study of biology at school, he will not have problems with the preparation of reports. Similarly, you can study trees, herbs.
Your family's family hobby is an opportunity to enjoy total time, rest, weekends and holidays, fun memories, general conversations unity of the whole family.
Married couples are often formed due to mutual attraction to each other, Great love or love. At these moments, people do not think about whether they have any common hobby. But it is so important - to have common interests and family affairs, because if love is not nourished by anything else and does not even have common themes for conversations, then sooner or later this state of affairs inevitably leads to divorce.
What is the purpose of the family?
Unfortunately, in our time, the science of the family and how to build it correctly has been forgotten. That is why there are so many modern society family unions who seem to be prosperous and successful. But if you delve a little further, it turns out that happiness is not present in them.
In our age, the modern family already has an established stereotype of family life, which for many seems to be the norm. This is when the husband comes tired after labor day from work and immediately sits down to watch TV or play at the computer. At this time, his wife is engaged in housework or some other business in the kitchen, and the children play with their toys. Many will say that idyll and harmony reign in this union, but, apparently, common goals and they have no family interests. They do not have joint emotions and empathy, so over time they are more and more moving away from each other.
When people get married and go on an interesting journey called they must clearly understand what their common goals are, so that later they can go to them together. Until they are outlined, a person will not understand what qualities his soulmate should be endowed with.
A modern family should not forget that common goals will become a guarantee of long-term happiness and mutual understanding.
What goals are considered a guarantee of a happy family
It is widely believed that the purpose of the family should be the birth and upbringing of good and healthy children. This, of course, is also important. But what will happen to this marriage when the children grow up and leave to build their own way? Everything, the goal of all life will be achieved, and nothing in common will remain. Therefore, it is simply necessary for spouses to have other common interests and family affairs, in addition to children.
It is believed that a marriage between two people is a kind of school of love. And if the family truly appreciates and respects each other, then the relationship over the years only becomes stronger. So the real purpose married life is the attainment of perfect love.
The main goal of each spouse should be constant care for their soul mate and the task of making easier life each other. If you follow all these rules and parting words and do not forget about them, then it is possible to achieve trust, harmony and happiness between them.
Shared hobbies and shared leisure
According to the statistics that American scientists have deduced, every second man in the world spends his free time watching any TV shows. But why not watch them with your wife? After all, you can choose any program that both will like, or download a movie, which is very easy to do in our age of the Internet. Even such a joint pastime can become a link that binds a family and gives new topic for conversations and discussions. For example, you can make it your every Friday to arrange such joint viewings with popcorn and various other goodies.
Leisure
Common interests and family affairs can be found outside the walls of the house. Well, if it is connected with some physical activity, as scientists have proven that a passive lifestyle affects not only a person’s health, but also his psyche. Suppose you can come up with the following active common affairs and interests of the family. Examples:
Walking tour with a break for a snack.
Participation in any active sports.
A real hike with a tent and overnight in the forest.
Joint outdoor recreation.
For this type of recreation, large expenses are not needed at all, but only the desire and desire to spend time together.
Common interests of parents and child
The role of the family in the life of a child is undoubtedly very important. In order not to miss the moment during the growing up of the child and always remain a friend to him, you need to have mutual business with him, of course, for spending time together.
It is not at all difficult to find common causes and interests of the family. The world, if you look at it only with different eyes, it can suggest a lot of ideas for this. For example, if the child is older and can take care of a pet, you need to get a common family pet and walk together when time permits. At such moments, there is an opportunity in a relaxed atmosphere to discuss with your child any of his problems and what may be bothering him.
Parents can learn, if they don't already know how, roller skating or skiing, and then have so much fun with the whole family. A good tradition can be a morning run or an evening yoga class. Yes, anything, the main thing is to be together.
Favorable climate in the family
When a child grows up in a family, it is very important what family climate reigns in it. From parents, the child receives preparation for later life in society. Therefore, it cannot be denied that the role of the family performs an important function in shaping his personality.
The child, like a sponge, absorbs what happens within the walls of his house, and then he transfers all these foundations and rules to his adulthood. If it is customary for parents to have common interests and family affairs, then in the future their child will also act in their marriage, having learned this from an early age. early childhood. When children grow up where it is customary to communicate in a friendly and gentle manner, then over time they will certainly build their style of communication with other people in the same way.
Only one conclusion can be drawn from this - in order to educate a good and successful child, it is necessary that the family has a healthy moral and emotional microclimate.
Spiritual Aspects of Family Life
An important role in harmonious relationship married couple spiritual intimacy plays, which after years can be irretrievably lost, unless you constantly work on its presence in life. To do this, you can choose a joint spiritual hobby, such as dancing. After all, there is nothing better and more pleasant than circling in a pair with your loved one.
Now it is often possible to meet a situation where already elderly spouses sign up for dance lessons in order to give their relationship some zest and novelty. Many psychologists have approved such a joint pastime, since the dance allows you to penetrate deeper into the personal space of your soul mate.
What is the relationship between family and society?
From time immemorial, the family has been considered the main unit of society. It is entrusted with many functions, the most important is the continuation of the family. Therefore, all civilization public relations start with the family.
As a person treats his loved ones, so he will treat other people. If betrayal and swearing reign in the house, then the person who is brought up in this will eventually think that it is also possible to do the same with people who are completely strangers to him.
Therefore, one should never forget very much simple thing Relationships depend primarily on what people are willing to do for them themselves.