How to raise a teenage son without a father. How to raise a boy without a father. Where do incomplete families come from?

23.04.2019

There are more and more single mothers every year. Raising a child without a father is difficult, but nothing is impossible. Becoming a lonely mother, a woman realizes that all the responsibility lies with her. Consider typical mistakes and the difficulties of single mothers, as well as tips to help women raise children without a father.

Raising a child without a father: difficulties, mistakes, consequences

Experts recommend paying close attention to the upbringing of children who are deprived of communication with their father. As a rule, raising a boy, not a man's name, is much more difficult than raising a girl. However, difficulties can arise in any case.

If you focus all your attention on the child, forgetting about yourself, then you can grow a selfish and demanding personality, so a certain balance should be made. The kid should not feel lonely, but also excessive care he doesn't need anything.

The main difficulty is that a single mom will have to replace the child and the second parent - the dad, which means a double burden. In this situation, it will help a lot if the mother has a brother, father, friend or other worthy male acquaintances who will not only be able to explain “purely male” moments to the child, but will also become a kind of example.

Psychologists distinguish the following the main problems of raising a child without a father :

hyper-care , that is, excessive custody of the child, which does not allow him to gain independence;
lack of care caused by lack of time due to a large number responsibilities;
complexes developing in the mother due to her loneliness and the impossibility of providing the child with a complete family;
the formation of an inferiority complex in a child and the feeling of their own uselessness;
excessive severity of the mother associated with increased loads and, as a result, stress;
boys lack an example to follow, and girls lack an image of a loving man;
lack of desire for achievement which, as a rule, are formed under the influence of the father;
distorted view of the family ;
boys are unaware of parental responsibilities , in the future this is reflected in their family life;
children get used to the fact that the family is he (she) and the mother, therefore a man who appears in a woman's life causes negativity and aggression.

You should not tell your toddler stories when questions arise about where his or her dad is. Sooner or later, the child learns the truth, and it is better to initially present him with a story that is close to reality and understandable. Negativeness about the father is also not necessary to instill, since this can cause aggression, especially if the daughter is growing up. Over the years, she can subconsciously pour out her hatred for dad on all men, expecting meanness and betrayal from them, which can significantly complicate her personal life.

Teacher Semenova O.A .:

Despite the drama of loneliness, often fair claims and a clearly conscious desire to stay away from him or despite more or less complete indifference to him, the mother must make an effort to ensure that the child has developed and retained a completely acceptable father image. By creating and maintaining in him an irreconcilable hatred for the absent father, the mother may find herself in a difficult situation. A similar situation is generated by the complete silence around the father, the absence of any mention of him. After all, the desire to find a father can arise in a child very early and haunt him throughout his life, especially if the questions that he asks himself in different ways at each stage of his development remain unanswered.

If, in answering his questions, the child feels hatred for the father or depression of the mother, he may arise and strengthen, refracting through the prism of the personality of an imaginary father, disgust or fear of men in general. In the eyes of the child and his own value may decrease; he may also fear poor heredity.

As a result, the child may develop a wrong idea of the relationship between a man and a woman, which will later affect the emotional and sexual sphere of a boy and a girl. Therefore, the mother should (as far as possible) maintain an acceptable image of the child's father. Of course, one should not hide the existing difficulties from the child and embellish reality, but one must present them to him in such a way that he does not feel responsible for them and they would not complicate his life and relations with other people. In other words, the child has the right to know that his father was not perfect, but he himself had nothing to do with it; it shouldn't interfere with him Everyday life and influence his future.

Educator-psychologist, neuropsychologist, family counselor T. Egorova:

If there is no father - what to do? Do not panic. Here's an example from history. During the war, millions of fathers went to the front, someone died in the first minutes of the battle, someone went missing, and someone came home completely disabled. Children without fathers grew up, learning from the characters of the heroes who went to the front. This helped mothers and grandmothers raise responsive and real men. Those. raising a child without a father is difficult, but real, especially when there is a positive Image loving father... If it is not there, you need to create it (you can also search among other relatives). This will be an example.

Then we take concrete steps. In all of them, you will need to learn to work with yourself first. You - a beautiful woman and mom, the keeper family hearth, and not an exhausted, tired woman who sees only disappointments in every day. To begin with, create mentally this Image, which you will be guided by for yourself - this will be visual programming of consciousness and it will give you strength.

Raising a girl without a father is much easier, if only because everyone female secrets Mom will teach her.

Unfortunately, sometimes some mothers in advance begin to worry about the child's personal life, not wanting her to repeat her fate. Some encourage cosmetics and meetings with boys, while others, on the contrary, try in every possible way to make an inconspicuous creature out of their daughter. Both are defenses, but both are not correct.

Expert advice:

A girl should never feel worse than others. ... It is necessary to communicate with her, discuss problems. The daughter should know that even though dad is not around, but mom will always protect her, will be on her side.
Girls identify with their mother, so the woman will become an example to follow. There should be no tears or complaints with a child. The daughter should see her mother optimistic and cheerful, striving for everything herself.
Problems may appear in adolescence... The fact is that girls, deprived of paternal love, often associate their lives with unworthy men... They delight in the attention of any male representative. The complexes that have arisen due to the fact that the father does not love her overtake the girl and can create many problems. That's why it is important that in her life even with early childhood there was a man who really loved her ... Let it be an uncle, older brother, grandfather or someone else worthy.
It is very important that the daughter has adequate self-esteem. This will save her from unwanted contacts in the future.

Consultant psychologist A.A. Ershova:

A mother, raising a child alone, can form a complete harmonious personality, create all conditions for the comprehensive development of the child, not forgetting about teaching the skills of effective social interaction.

First of all, a mother who has made a decision, for whatever reason, to raise a child without a father, must tune in to the fact that it will not be easy to raise the child to her feet alone. And, despite this, try, although it can be very difficult, to stop treating men negatively, to forgive the child's father for not being able to be around. It is very important to feel that no matter what the father of the child does to you, this does not mean that "all men are like that." We all make mistakes because of our fears and limitations. Forgiving the offender will bring harmony to you and will help you to forgive yourself for your mistakes, and your child for mistakes that he may make in the future.

Being aware of your resentment and forgiveness can help eliminate possible words to a child that his father was a scoundrel, bad man... Believe me, by painting a negative image of a parent, you will only destroy the fragile unstable image of the father and form negative example for identification. After all, no matter how hard you try, you cannot replace the child's father. “Mom can, mom can be anyone, just a dad, only a dad can’t be,” is sung in an ingenious children's song, and the children also understand this very well.

As E. Fromm wrote, a mother is an example demonstrating to a child unconditional love and acceptance, and the relationship of the child with the father is built in a completely different way. The father for the child is a world of law and order, discipline, conditional love... It is the father who teaches the child and shows him the way to the world. Father's love requires certain conditions to be met. His principle: "I love you because you have met my expectations, that you are doing your duty, that you are like me." Wherein fatherly love must be earned. The father's function is to teach and guide the child, helping to cope with emerging problems.

And remembering that the child needs an example to follow, an object for identification, try to provide him with an example of male behavior, communication with his grandfather, uncle, family friend. This interaction is important not only for boys, but also for girls.

How to properly raise a son without a father: expert opinions

Raising the son of a single mother is much more difficult. Some purely male activities (fishing, playing football, hiking) are far from women. If you wish, of course, you can cope with this, but it is better if not the father is nearby, but another man who can set an example.

It is important for a boy to feel his own importance and strength. Do not worry about the absence of a husband - after all, there is a son who, albeit small, but at the subconscious level is already ready to protect and support his mother. In such manifestations, the child must be supported in every possible way. He must understand how his mother is pleased with his attention, how he helps her.
Excessive custody can have an extremely undesirable result - the formation of the personality of an effeminate man. If in childhood this is still not very striking, then in adulthood it is fraught with many problems, including with socialization and personal life.
It is necessary to encourage the son's desire to go in for sports and, make crafts, do physical labor.
It is useful for a child to communicate with adult men, especially during adolescence.
The boy should have an example to follow. If suitable men not surrounded, you can find a literary character for the child who will become an example for him to follow. It is very important to highlight here positive features hero, how smart, strong, courageous he is, etc., and draw an analogy with a child, saying how he looks like an idol. This can partially replace illustrative example... Our list will help you find the work you need.
You should not limit the child's communication, especially if the father wants to establish contact with him.
You cannot impose your views on life and perception of the world on your son, you need to accustom him to independence, to contribute to the development of personality.
You should not communicate too harshly with the child, but you also do not need to lisp, distorting words.

Thus, raising a child without a father is not so easy, but if desired, it is quite feasible. The main thing is not to get depressed, not to look for flaws in yourself, but to try to raise the baby as a worthy member of society, ready for adult life. The absence of a man should not spoil further life child.

Many modern women complain that there are no real men left now, that they have become weak. And the reason for this lies in family education… Life is not going smoothly for everyone. And sometimes there are situations when a woman left without a husband is forced to independently raise her son. Such a mother has questions: How to raise a boy without a father? How to raise a real man? In this article, we will help you find answers to these questions using the advice of psychologists.

Naturally, full-fledged family- this is wonderful. But sometimes it happens that the spouses regularly scandal. Either the husband often drinks alcohol, beats, cheats ... Such a situation in the family is not the best way is reflected in the psychological state of the son. And for normal development child, he needs to grow in calm atmosphere... Moreover, a grown-up boy can copy the relationship between parents when creating his own family. And the woman is faced with a choice of what is best for her and her son: to endure bullying or to divorce.

Of course in ideal option, you need to make every effort to improve family relationships. Unfortunately, not everyone succeeds. If the divorce has already occurred, then the woman should not scourge herself for it. It's great if you can create a new one, a full-fledged family... However, find good husband, it is not at all easy for a woman with her son. After all, you need to meet not only loving man but also a father who will show sympathy for his son. In the absence of a father, it is quite difficult to raise a real man from a boy. To do this, it is necessary to take into account some of the nuances of education and, possibly, adjust own attitude to my son.

Psychologists' advice: how to raise a boy without a father?

A single mom, in order to understand how to raise a boy without a father, needs to take into account psychological characteristics men. Of course, boys are different from girls in many ways. There is an opinion that it is impossible to pamper a son with “calf tenderness”. However, this statement is true when the son is in his teens. If the boy is in younger age(up to 10-11) years and you very rarely hug him and do not say that you love, he will grow withdrawn. The son may have problems with studies, in communication with peers. The boy will develop worse, he will have low self-esteem.

Boys who are often hugged are better at revealing their emotions. They have a faster reaction rate in complex stressful situations... Such children are more susceptible to the desire for new discoveries. They are less afraid to make mistakes, are less irritable, less painful. However, you don't need to hug your son just because you read about it. Do this sincerely when you feel the need to reveal your feelings. A number of psychologists argue that it is necessary to use the principle of 8 hugs a day.

Don't take on the role of both parents

When raising a boy without a father, often the woman takes on the role of both parents. Authoritarianism appears in the family. The son begins to perceive his mother as a very strong and domineering person who is able to “move mountains”. Thus, the boy is destroyed masculinity... He becomes a weak being. Such a son does not show leadership ambitions and a desire to protect the weaker sex. He will consider that a kind and caring attitude towards people is a demonstration of his weakness.

A boy who was brought up by an authoritarian mother, having matured, will consider arrogance and rudeness to be the ideal of male behavior. Such a man will most likely choose a wife with a similar strong character... As a rule, the wife in this case is much older in age. And of course, this is unacceptable for an authoritarian mother. She will try in every possible way to separate her son from the “old” woman. Also son strong mom may not create a family at all.

Give your son an opportunity to be masculine.

Be yourself, show yourself sometimes a weak woman... Give your son an opportunity to show that he is strong, that he is your protector. Let him sometimes care how future man, pity you, sympathizes, helps, supports. Such a son will grow up to be responsible, self-confident, and will be able to take responsibility for himself and others. However, in the manifestation of weakness, one should also not overdo it. An adult son of a “helpless” mother will not be able to create his own happy family.

Raising a real man is only possible for a mother who allows her son to show his masculine nature... A boy should not grow up under constant pressure and inhibitions. Give him a certain degree of freedom depending on his age. Let him learn to make decisions on his own and be responsible for his actions, no matter how ridiculous they seem to you.

Find your son an example to follow

In not full family mom must find a man whose behavior the boy can copy. The more positive examples male behavior around a boy is better. If you think that there are no decent men among the entourage, then this is a delusion that you need to get rid of. This will help your son grow into a real man.

Mom should facilitate communication between her son and his own father (if he is alive). Try to find some positive traits in the character of the father, which the son can copy. Of course, in the event of a divorce, the mother often believes that the father is not a worthy example for the child. However, no matter how difficult it may seem for you, forget your grievances at ex-husband... Demonstrating to the boy how disgusting and terrible his father is, you will cause mental trauma to your son. Your son is a part of his father. If you speak badly about the father, then transfer these words to the child. A son may feel guilty throughout his life for problems in a parent's relationship.

Also, the boy should see a worthy example among other men. It is necessary to pay attention to the behavior and actions of the older brother, grandfather, uncle or any of the friends, male relatives. Take the boy to the sports section to the male coach. Regular communication with a good trainer will have a beneficial effect on psychological condition son.

Mom needs to draw the attention of her son to heroes from films and fairy tales that have masculine qualities... For example, such as courage, courage, courage, honesty, kindness, courage. Here are some examples of literary characters for children 3-8 years old:

Vanya Vasilchikov from the fairy tale "Crocodile" by Korney Chukovsky - little boy who turned out to be very brave.
Puss in Bootsfrom the fairy tale of the same name by Charles Perrault - he showed ingenuity, resourcefulness, was very loyal and devoted to his master.
Finger Boy also in the fairy tale of the same name by Charles Perrault, despite his height, he turned out to be the most daring, brave and resourceful of the brothers.

For older boys, examples can also be:

Malchish Kibalchish from “The Tale of the Military Secret, about the Boy-Kibalchish and His Firm Word” by Arkady Gaidar.
Seryozha Kakhovsky from the novel "Boy with a Sword" by Vladislav Krapivin
Ilya Muromets, Dobrynya Nikitich , Alesha Popovich- an example of resilience, strength, and courage of Russian heroes.
Robin the Hood- a brave hero from English folklore
Don Quixotefrom the novel of the same name by Miguel de Cervantes
Chapaevfrom the novel by Viktor Pelevin "Chapaev and Emptiness"

Don't watch melodrama with your son. Regularly include films or read together books, fairy tales, where there are heroes with real masculine qualities. Be sure to focus on them.

Free your son from overprotection

V childhood boy needs big maternal love... And in adolescence, the son must be “released”. The boy should feel the distance from his mother. This will help him to establish his personal life. If a teenage son is emotionally restrained, he will not be able to build strong relationship With girl. Excessive maternal care an adult son will destroy his personal happiness

Some mothers take care of their boys until old age. No matter how old the son is, for such a mother he is forever - a child. However, such an attitude towards an adult son will create problems for him in life. In adolescence, a turning point comes both for the boy himself and for his mother. From this period, the mother should talk to her son as with an adult man. In some situations, you need to ask him for advice, to find out his opinion on how to proceed in this case.

Respect your son's interests

You don't need to keep your son "on a leash" all the time. When he gets older he should start independent life... Respect the interests of your son, give advice, but do not impose your opinion. Let him make mistakes. There is a chance that he will learn from them. He needs his own life experience.

Boy, should not always be “silky” and listen to mom in everything. He should not always obey the female educator, and then the teachers (female). Otherwise, an infantile, weak-willed man will grow out of such a boy. Your son should see examples of decent male behavior in life, in literature, in films. Then, years later, you will be proud that you raised a real man without a father.

It so happens in our world that mothers often have to raise sons without fathers. But this happens not only in the 21st century - the era of the lungs and quick divorces and ubiquitous feminism. This was the case a thousand years ago. Incessant wars and epidemics of disease claimed the lives of fathers. Thousands of mothers managed to bring up worthy and strong young men. There is no doubt that this is possible in modern world... How to raise a boy without a father? How can you make him happy? How to lay the foundations and set the required model of male behavior?

An important point that single mothers should pay attention to in raising their son is that the boy begins to realize and experience the joy that he is a man between the ages of 6 and 14.

Up to this point, you can love and pamper him, regardless of the gender differences between boys and girls. Before the age of 6, a boy needs to be given love in full and to show that he occupies a key place in your life. This feeling will be a support for him all his life, and your love and tenderness will become the standard female affection... You will do your son a great service by developing sociability and sociability at this particular age. Boys are less successful than girls in mastering the skills of speech, reading and writing. Help your baby to "talk". Use games and modern techniques for the development of sociability - this will give the boy self-confidence. Praise and be proud of your son, do not keep these emotions to yourself - they will help you and your baby to move forward.

Recover your strength - an irritable and always tired mother tells her son that he is not loved enough and that he is a burden to her. This can lead to psychological trauma.

BUT, and this is a big enough BUT! At the age of about 6 years, the boy's priorities change, now your main task is to find him a worthy role model. You can even have several. Call for help from men from your environment - relatives, grandfathers, older brothers, godfathers, friends, leaders of youth organizations, sports coaches. Unfortunately, among school teachers there are fewer and fewer men, therefore sport sections and all kinds of extracurricular activities will help you.

Choose these people with great care. As if you had the opportunity to choose a father for your son from all the men you know. Pay attention to his hobbies and hobbies, the manner in which he treats women, and his attitude towards others. An important issue is the use of profanity in the presence of a child. To what extent is this person ready to control himself?

The next stage - 14-18 years old, find a mentor for the son, a person who is able to teach his son specific skills, actively involving him in adult life... For example, in the old days, boys at this age were subordinated to artisans or to a church school, while communication with their parents was minimized. The boy lived with the teacher. Parents received back already a young man, bypassing all the difficulties of adolescence.

I am writing from the left address, I will listen to all opinions - even the most negative ones.
From the first day my husband and I wanted many children, our own home. But fate decreed otherwise. There were no relatives nearby, there was no help at all and never, my mother gave one aluminum pan, with the words, "well, as long as you have enough, and then we will buy." from there they shook their nerves and continue not childishly.
Here we celebrated 10 years of marriage, saved up money for an apartment, and even for 2 in Moscow, you can look on the outskirts - that's enough .. But there are no children.
In short, I am now in the stage of IVF injections, Thank God so far everything is going according to schedule .. I am stabbing myself with FSH (menopur).
This is a preface.
When my husband and I got married, we decided that in any case we would adopt a child, we recently completed a PDS, there were only light pieces of paper left ...
And then ... Against the background of everything .. my husband was made an offer that we had been waiting for 10 years - the USA, the job that we dreamed of. they never wanted to stay in Russia .. because it’s really quieter there (I don’t want to speak cooler, no, this cannot be compared as a fighter SUMO and BALLERINA) !!!
While the documents are being drawn up and everything is in a bunch ...
We clearly understand that now our only chance to adopt a child (children), he is already 40, I am 37. We did not immediately consider guardianship and a foster family.
As it may not sound, but in fact we will take the child / children to another country for permanent residence, in fact, steal ..
And yesterday a dispute arose .. now we are looking at two boys 4 and 2 years old, brothers, how many children should we take?
I understand my husband well,
- "And if you get pregnant and you have twins or triplets?" ...
On the other hand, I understand all the risks of bearing .. and God forbid not bearing children .. And to live on without children .... I don't want to be my husband ..
How to proceed??
I must say right away that feeding children in the USA and dressing is a penny, food stamps or help has not been canceled .. We can buy a house immediately upon arrival .. The most expensive thing is education .. There are also good benefits there, only we are the first on them We don't get there for 2 years ..
In general, while we are being formalized, we live entirely on our own money .. In case of childbirth, they are free .. and if there is something urgent with the child, this can also be done for free (it doesn’t scare at all). Who does not know and did not live there - please do not give advice on programs from REN TV.
Both my husband and I are at a loss that we will not pull physically ..
There is no option to come - to try to give birth yourself, then if you come and adopt something - DOESN'T EXIST !! We leave once and for all ..
I insist on 2 children from the orphanage ..
Husband on one ...
I hope it is clear ..
Thanks in advance everyone.

662

Your majesty

Good day! On Sunday, February 24, the 91st Academy Awards took place at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles. This year it turned out to be special - for the first time in 30 years, the event did not have a host. Kevin Hart was supposed to manage the ceremony, but due to the homophobic scandal surrounding his name, it was decided to refuse this candidacy. A replacement was never found, so the gaps between awards were filled with Celeb performances, and the winners were traditionally announced by celebrities.

In addition to photos from the red carpet of the ceremony, there will be photos from two post-Skarov parties.

627

Hedgehog Vika

Hello everyone. Today, a colleague said they were with a child (he is two years old), last week at a pediatrician's appointment, then, according to her, the Pediatrician examined the child, then began to write out a prescription and said, "so, mommy listen to me, I I prescribe for your child such and such medications, take, for so many. Then mommy, I write you a referral. Did you mommy understand all my recommendations? A colleague sits and thinks, he’ll call me mommy again, I’ll definitely answer her something. Here I am too I do not understand, the appeal of "mommy" to unfamiliar women. What is the boom for this word? This word is already everywhere, even on seeds with tomatoes, today in the store I saw. Of course, no one calls to address "mother" or and "mommy" sounds like a sugary, you can just refer to "mom". I mean not only about pediatricians, but in general in general. The very word "mommy" does not irritate me, it is a good, affectionate word, but I believe that the address "mommy", in relation only to his mother or a child, can call his mother this way. I just expressed my opinion. By the way, I read on the Internet that many young mothers do not like it when people refer to them with the word "mommy".

352

Goat Agatha

inspired by the theme of Vasilyus. more precisely, the part about the dog. Is it important for you that your life partner shares your love - not love for animals? if, for example, you are a cat lady-dog lover (rat girl, snail girl), were you interested in your chosen one’s attitude? Or maybe someone was turned away from the relationship by the dislike of the chosen one for animals? Or is he a lover of pets, and you are on the contrary - it confused you? what if different views, then in the end they got animals or not? and it happens that a non-lover suddenly fell in love? stories are welcome. beast photo too

276

Anna Zhukova

Ladies, it's up to you to judge. In our company, there is discord and dispute, everyone was divided according to gender. The reason was the case in the family of one of the girlfriends: a man (53 years old) proposed to her mother (48 years old).
Both children are already adults and, plus or minus, are independent. You don't have to sit with your grandchildren. Work for both is normal, it allows you to live without hunger and put off for annual leave anywhere in Bulgaria or Prague. They have been dating for about five years, a friend's mother (let it be Luda) has her own odnushka in the suburbs of Moscow, her boyfriend (let it be Vasya) has a removable odnushka within the Moscow Ring Road. And now Lyuda, on Vasya's offer to sign, replied that she was for maintaining the status quo, that is, a guest marriage. They meet in turn at his place at her place, go to the cinema and theaters together, sometimes to cafes and restaurants. It turns out that they see each other 2-3-4 times a week.
And Vasya says that he is already tired of traveling back and forth, and would like to build a joint nest. While Luda is in a one-room apartment, with the prospect that they will sign and take a mortgage in marriage, and from this Ludina's one-room apartment they will make a common two-room apartment. They say mortgage payments will only be a little more than he pays for rent (I don't know the financial details, but it seems to me that Vasya is lying a little and the mortgage payment will be more than one and a half or two times more, since he wants a kopeck piece within the Moscow Ring Road).

And so Luda consults with her daughter, and the daughter all got upset, like her friends: instead of her own apartment, Luda will have a joint mortgage, with Prague-Bulgaria it will be necessary to shrink very much, and in which case, half of this kopeck piece will go to Vasya's children. And half of it was invested personally by Lyudin! Plus, she will have to pay the mortgage from her salary, too. Vasina alone will not be enough, well, or enough, but then he will have to be fed and watered, dressed at Lyubin's expense.

In our company, opinions were divided. Men (husbands and boyfriends) say that since she insists on a guest, it means she does not like it and is generally materialistic. And women are all in thought and advise not to rush to change the apartment. Therefore, Lyudin's daughter advises to leave everything as it is. Vasin's reason is very well tracked here: almost at the expense of Lyudin, he will get his own living space instead of a rented one, plus he buys service, cooking, washing, cleaning, sex whenever he wants, and generally full board. In addition, there is a moment that is very important for Lyuda: she has a 5-year-old retriever, and Vasya is either really dog-phobic, or he is playing the fool. In general, he says that if they come together, then the dog "will have to decide something." At this point, Luda said "so, I need to think and consult with my daughter", and Vasya began to put pressure on her: this is your life, not your daughter, and how long you can wander back and forth, I can't live without you, and you me you love less than some dog, and in general, from my point of view, just arranged an ugly hysteria. Lyuda quickly called a taxi (she was at Vasya's house at the time of the quarrel) and dumped her to her place.

I want to know the opinion of the forum. It seems to me alone that Vasya is an eccentric with the letter M and Luda needs not only to arrange a guest marriage with him, but generally tick away. Today his dog does not suit him, but tomorrow what? Daughter? Grandchildren (who are still in the project, but will certainly be)?

In general, I would love to hear your opinion. Interested persons (Luda and her daughter) will read the comments.

267

22. 08.2015

Ekaterina's blog
Bogdanova

Good afternoon, readers and guests of the "Family and Childhood" site. Life presents us with many surprises. And they can be both pleasant and not very pleasant. But these are just temporary difficulties that we need to deal with. It is difficult to raise and provide for a child alone without a husband, regardless of whether it is a son or a daughter. However, raising boys is somewhat more difficult than raising girls.
Children who are brought up in a complete family take an example from their parents. And what to do when mom is raising her son alone? From whom should he take an example? Or mom to be for two? How to raise a son as a real man without a father, to cultivate courage, courage, and resilience in him?

The upbringing of a boy should be based on certain rules that will help raise a worthy person:

Never try to replace a father's son. Male behavior moms can lead to deviations in mental and sexual development and break children's performance about the purpose of men and women. The son should be clearly aware of his belonging to the opposite sex.

Drop all stereotypes and prejudices. You don't need to believe that you will grow up " Sissy". There are sons of single mothers that many are proud of. They are worthy of respect, they are real representatives of the stronger sex!

Remember that its usefulness is not determined by the number of family members. Is it possible to call a family full-fledged, where parents are alcoholics and give birth to children for the sake of money?
Feel free to give your son affection, love and care. He still needs your warmth. Give him enough attention, take an interest in his life.

A child definitely needs a decent one male example... It's very good if native dad at least occasionally sees his son. If not, then godfathers, friends, acquaintances, brothers, grandfathers, and other male relatives will come down.

At school, these can be teachers, trainers, and others. It is very important that the child spends as much free time as possible with them. Go to visit him that he saw how the head of the family should behave.

Give your son to the men's sections: boxing, karate, football, basketball. He will regularly communicate only with boys and male coaches, from whom he will take an example.

Watch movies, cartoons with the boy, read books, notes, look at men's magazines that show a good example worthy men and various men's hobbies.

Don't spoil him. Treat him fairly, communicate like an adult. Thus, you will not raise a whiner, but a strong and confident man.

Teach your son to help you, to perform certain tasks and manipulations on his own. You should not do everything for him, because he will become unadapted for adult life.

Talk to your child more. Talk about your experiences, worries, ask him for advice, take his opinion into account. And he will start to trust you. And it costs a lot!

Tell him about your love for no reason, just like that. But you need to praise only for the cause. This will stimulate him and guide him on the right path.

It is categorically impossible to overprotect the boys, follow their every step, keep all the time close to you. Remember, this is a child, especially a boy, and he needs freedom, he just needs to throw out his energy somewhere. If you do not give him this opportunity, it can turn against you.

A critical period in adolescence can lead to the most unexpected consequences. This is the time when your child is no longer a boy, but not yet a man. He is beginning to be interested in the topics of relationships between the sexes and it is very important that at this moment he has someone to talk to and who to trust.

It is better that this is a male person, older than your boy, who can set a worthy example and direct him in the right direction.

Let your son experience the world as it is. Let him make mistakes - these will be HIS mistakes. People learn from them. Let him communicate with peers, make new acquaintances, be friends with girls. This will give him the opportunity to expand his horizons and general idea about life.

Do not impose your views. Respect him as individual personality, he has every right to personal opinion and worldview.

Share his interests. This will bring you closer together.

Remember that your child is not you. He has his own life, let him build it himself. Your task is only to direct to true path! Love, respect, appreciate, and your family will be the happiest!