What does undivided mean. Concentrate on the flaws. The best movies about unrequited love

18.04.2019

Love is the main feeling in the world. She is the foundation of the universe. Let us recall the words of the holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian: “God is love” (1 John 4: 8). In turn, the holy supreme apostle Paul wrote: “And now these three abide: faith, hope, love; but love is the greatest of them ”(1 Cor. 13:13).

Before the Fall, the first people in Paradise were in communion of love with the Lord. They visibly and directly communicated with their Creator. And it was pure and holy love.

After the fall of the holy forefathers Adam and Eve, the concept of love took on distorted forms. Passion and sin mingled with it. The human heart, in which the source of Divine love generously beat, became confused. Pure spring water turned into muddy swamp.

Humanity has almost lost the correct understanding of love. It took the effort of tens of generations Old Testament prophets guided by the grace of the Holy Spirit, as well as the incarnation of the Lord and God and our Savior Jesus Christ and the establishment of the Church by him so that the blind mankind will again find the way to Love.

In fact, all Orthodox asceticism, all Orthodox work of priests, monks, and laity are aimed at ensuring that through prayer, fasting, communion with the Sacraments of the Church, cultivating virtues (humility, repentance, mercy, patience, etc.) , through the creation of good deeds for the Lord and neighbors to come to the summit of Orthodoxy - to become a conductor of Divine love. You need to understand that love is the top of a difficult, steep and dangerous mountain called "Life". And you cannot jump to this peak with a running start. But you need to patiently and for a long time make a difficult climb, in which everything will be: falls, and scratches on sharp rocks and thorny bushes, and the joy of achieving goals, and icy cold winds with snow, but also gentle sun with beautiful and transparent mountain views. And at the end of the road, love awaits us as a reward.

I repeat: in us, who are at the beginning of the path, the concept of love is distorted by sin, or, in modern language, by egoism. The pop culture industry, with its entertainment and sex cult, is also pushing us to do this.

What are the signs of true love?

The Lord revealed them to us.

And the first of these is sacrifice. “There is no more love than if someone lay down his life for his friends,” said the Savior in the Gospel of John (15:13). This is a sacrifice of oneself, one's own strengths, talents, time in order to bring good to another person.

The second sign is dispassion. The absence of lust or other sinful selfish motive, when you treat another person only as an object of satisfying your desires.

The third is universality. Let us turn again to the First Council Epistle of the Holy Apostle John the Theologian: “Whoever says:“ I love God ”, but he hates his brother, that loving brother his own whom he sees, how can he love God, whom he does not see? " (4:20). And who is "my brother"? These are all people living on earth. Without exception. Indicator-indicator of whether we have true Divine love, can serve as our attitude towards enemies or people towards whom we feel hostility. Do we love them? That is why our Lord Jesus Christ said: “But I say to you: love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven, for He commands His sun to rise over the wicked and the good. and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what is your reward? Do not the tax collectors also do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing special? Do not the Gentiles do the same? Therefore, be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect ”(Matthew 5: 43-48).

On this occasion, the Hieromartyr of the XX century Grigory Shlisselburgsky wrote that, of course, it is easy to love with a touch of selfishness and trade and economic relations such as “you are for me, I am for you”: to love a child who resembles you; a friend whom you praise and support because he praises and supports you; the boss you depend on beautiful woman, which you want to possess, etc. But to love an enemy or a person unpleasant to you is the highest manifestation of love, a real feat. After all, the enemy does not pat you on the head, rather the opposite. But at the same time, he is just like you, the temple of God, the image and likeness of God.

The fourth is perhaps the most main feature true love - "God-centeredness". In the beautiful and very useful spiritual work, Philosophy, the following geometric example is given. A person's life is represented as a circle. The center of the circle is God. it required condition for all time. All radii (actions, actions) human life must pass through the center, that is, serve God and be sanctified by him. Then a person's life will be full, harmonious, correct. Let us recall the two commandments on which “all the law and the prophets are established”: “Jesus said to him: love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind: this is the first and greatest commandment; the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself ... ”(Matthew 22: 37-40). That is true love always originates in the fear of God and in love for Him.

You also need to talk about unrequited love. It seems to me that this is spiritual and emotional illness that most people experienced at their age and in their own way. At the core of unrequited love is the sin of man-pleasing, idolatry, when God, the world, other people fade into the background, and a person is put on the pedestal, for whom you feel passion.

Joseph Brodsky very accurately described the state of unrequited love in the poem "Nowhere with the love of the eleventh Martyr": "I loved you more than angels and myself, and therefore now further from you than from both of them." By "Himself" God is meant. That is, in a passion called "unrequited love" there is such an emotional degree of intensity that raises the object of adoration above everything in the world. And that is precisely why the Lord does not allow this passion to be realized in reality. Let us recall the novel "The Idiot" by the great psychologist of Russian literature Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky. Rogozhin felt for Nastasya Filippovna a feeling of unrequited love. At the end of the novel, she threw herself into his arms. And how did it all end? He killed her.

There was a terrible murder in Denmark or Holland at the end of the last century. The Japanese student fell so in love with his blond Danish girlfriend that he killed and ate her. He motivated this by the fact that he had to have his beloved entirely inside him. Of course, this is a pathology. But it shows how dangerous and destructive the feeling of unrequited love is. This is very strong passion, fueled by selfishness and the desire to possess, pushing a person often to crazy actions. A fairly large percentage of suicides are associated precisely with a feeling of unrequited love. Let us recall her classic example from Johann Wolfgang Goethe's novel The Sorrows of Young Werther, where everything ends very tragically: because of unrequited love, Werther kills himself.

The selfishness of the syndrome of unrequited love is expressed primarily in the fact that a person loves the image he invented, and not really existing person of flesh and blood. Such a person is likened to the mythical Pygmalion, who sculpted a sculpture of Galatea in his fantasy, revived her in his imagination and worships her, cultivating within himself a dangerous passion that can explode with great threat to both man and others.

Moreover, such a person no longer lives in reality with one foot, but wanders in a labyrinth created from his fantasies and desires, more and more plunging into the abyss of chimeras and passions, moving away from reality and, first of all, from God.

What advice can you give to a person who wants to find with God's help his soul mate and travels through life, like in a temple from broken hearts, how did Viktor Tsoi sing in one of his songs?

It seems to me that the 24th chapter of the Old Testament Book of Genesis is very useful in this sense. It tells how the holy forefather Abraham and his faithful servant Eleazar were looking for a bride for Saint Isaac.

It all started with prayer and blessing. Then Abraham called for an oath to Eleazar that he would find a bride for his son only from that people who keep the commandments of God. Then the faithful slave set off on a journey. His caravan reached the city of Harran (now the territory of southern Turkey), where, near the well from which the camels were watered, Eleazar stopped and prayed to God that He would send him to his master. good bride... Then he began to wait and watch the girls. Rebekah came and gave drink not only to Eleazar, but also to his camels. Imagine how much work she had to spend on this! After all, a camel that has passed a long time in the desert drinks a lot. During one experiment, a camel drank about 103 liters of water in ten minutes! But the hardworking and merciful girl gave drink to both the pilgrims and the camels. And then, after the proposal of marriage, the next day, she unconditionally followed Eleazar to her future husband Isaac, whom she had never seen before. And it was from this marriage that our Lord Jesus Christ was born after many tens of generations.
What does this Old Testament story teach us? She opens the way to finding her soul mate, who is looking for her soul mate, which is at the same time a way of getting rid of the bitterness of unrequited love.

Prayer and Trust in God. A request to Him for finding a companion (companion) of life. His search is under the blessing of God. The search is not emotionally erotic, but thoughtful and sober. How did saints Abraham and Eleazar seek a bride? She needs to try to live according to the commandments of God, to confess them. She should be meek and merciful, capable of responding to the trouble or problems of her neighbor. Figuratively speaking, so that she wants to drink both you and your camels. It is important that she be ready for this wonderful, but also hard work of creating a family. And then this amazing and sacred miracle of marriage happens. After all, let's take a closer look at Rebekah. She leaves the house, her parents and goes with an almost unknown person hundreds of kilometers away in order to marry another young man, Isaac, completely unknown to her.

But she does it. Why?

Call of God.

It is necessary that we solve all our earthly affairs, including the search for a soul mate, through an appeal to God. And if the radius of our life is directed towards the Almighty as the center, then He will definitely, if it is useful to us, give exactly that life partner who will become not just another object of receiving pleasure, but a collaborator for attaining the Kingdom of Heaven.

Oh, a lot is changing! Especially when it is already becoming obvious. As long as it remains possible to create the illusion of reciprocity and live it, deceiving oneself, one can still feel somewhat happy. But what to do when all the signs above the “i” have already been placed, and there is no doubt or hope left? How to survive this nightmare, how to survive? How to get rid of memories and gnawing melancholy and pain that tears your heart?

Few will believe, but there is ready-made recipe... It has been known for a long time, it is simple and complex at the same time. Simple because it is very clear what needs to be done. And it is difficult because it is very difficult to overcome oneself. In fact, the question, if you formulate it like this, is unrequited love: how to get rid of it? - incorrect. Yes, love can be unrequited, but you really should not get rid of it. Better to get rid of the wrong attitude towards her.

First of all, what is love? A state of mind characterized by feelings of happiness and joy. So why get rid of it? Is there someone who doesn't want to be happy? For some reason, few now ask themselves this question. If love is unrequited, the label is immediately glued - "unhappy love". And this happens because self-love overpowers and overshadows everything else. And so much so that the obvious absurdity of the phrase remains imperceptible - if love is happiness, then how can happiness be unhappy?

In reality, there is no unhappy love. There is only a wrong interpretation of the behavior of a beloved or beloved, which implies mutual feeling... All hopes, expectations and a model of a happy future are certainly closely linked to it, not allowing any other possibility. But this is a different person, with his feelings, his dislikes and sympathies. And if his heart does not belong to you, what is his fault? That you built a castle in the sand? Is it that you remain a consumer even in love and are not ready to accept “no” in return?

Think, are you really the “injured party”, which only has to feel sorry for yourself? What has changed from the fact that you learned the truth - your love is destined to be unrequited? Have you become less in love?

Believe me sincerely loving people nothing is required. They are well aware of the truth, simple to genius, that in love the main thing is not to receive, but to give. And therefore, it is actually very simple to be happy: love and do not expect anything in return. After all, the very feeling of love accessible to people, - this is already a great happiness.

You feel bad because of unrequited love? Try to imagine for a moment that the object of your adoration has suddenly disappeared forever. What will you feel at the same time? If nothing or relief, then the clinic, as they say, is clear - you did not love, so all this will soon pass like a runny nose. And if your heart sank and went cold, if the thought “no, just not this!” Was immediately born, then you can congratulate yourself - your love is real, strong and deep. And, most likely, you are right there you will understand and the fact that for happiness you only need to know that your beloved is somewhere here, nearby, on this planet. He is alive, healthy, happy, and even if you are not giving him this happiness. The main thing is that you have love that no one can take away.

If you take a good look at everything from this position, feel imbued with what you understood, then pretty soon you will regain balance and return to the world of joy and happiness. Indeed, those who become depressed or try to commit suicide out of unrequited love in an effort to escape suffering are really just weak people and egoists. Their own happiness for them more important than love, more important than the happiness of a loved one.

But you're not like that, right? You now know the recipe for unshakable happiness - it is simple and proven for centuries. And you just need to help yourself a little - to learn to love sincerely, selflessly, regardless of what will happen next and whether there will be anything at all. And this is the simplest and efficient way get rid of unrequited love, which is just a path to happiness.

Unrequited love is a form of deep affection and sympathy, accompanied by emotional and physical attraction to a person without a mutual response at the same level of depth or intensity of feelings experienced. Unrequited love for a girl contributed to many achievements and feats, since an unrealized feeling requires an exit and manifestation, stimulates creative activity as a sublimation mechanism. It is unrequited love that is the private motive of the works, this is justified by the fact that with a favorable coincidence of circumstances, a person enjoys a partner and relationships, he does not have time for creativity.

Despite the romanticization of a noble feeling and the ascension of unrequited love to the level of the purest and most sincere, it is often the cause of the development of difficult depressive conditions accompanied by somatic disorders, and also leads to or latent manifestation of the desire for thanatos in the form of the appearance of life-destroying habits (alcoholism, unjustifiably risky actions, defiant behavior, sleep and nutrition).

The reasons for the emergence of unrequited love are different and can include both manipulation by the object of adoration and maintenance of false hope, and a person's unwillingness to see the true picture of the discrepancy between his personality and the chosen one.

Unrequited love is most often a companion adolescence when hormones play, maximalism goes off scale, the first feeling and it seems that this is the other half and this is for life. At the same time, there is still no clear understanding of oneself, ideas about a partner and about desires in life together and compliance with each other (how many in love with stars and teachers, boys from other cities and girls, objectively from another reality). But whatever is behind the factors that contribute to the development of this feeling, there is a need to resolve negative emotions and work out those moments associated with impossible relationship that cause suffering.

Unrequited love - what to do?

The feeling of love inspires and gives a new world, a more subtle feeling and the ability to notice details. With mutual attraction, such specific changes give even more joy, a state, the receipt of energy literally from the air. But the situation is reversed when it turns out that feelings of emotional attraction are not mutual. Then the emerging sensitivity makes a person more vulnerable, the desire for realization stumbles upon a wall of uselessness, suffers and the whole world takes on gloomy tones. And this normal reaction on dashed hopes, unfulfilled expectations.

But before you fall into a pessimistic mood, claiming that you have unrequited love for a guy, based on the fact that you have already winked three times, and he did not come to you with a ring, turn on rationality - are your feelings really unrequited. Naturally, if he shows all kinds of attention to another, gently hugs in front of everyone, then you are right. Men usually hide their feelings, so there are situations when, after the first step taken by a girl, it turned out that he sympathized with her for a long time. If you don't have the courage to confess directly, then find out his attitude towards you and other girls with the help of friends or suggestive conversation with the guy himself. It is better to first make sure of the hopelessness of your romance than to give up the possibility of reciprocity in advance. The same applies to guys, because girls are all waiting for the first step from a man and may not pretend that you are attractive to her, or even not think about your role as a companion, because you did not give a reason for such reasoning. If you were informed about non-reciprocity directly and transparently, then you can safely start choosing variations on the topic "what to do with non-reciprocity."

Unrequited love for a girl can turn on the excitement in guys and if you feel energy and not want to give up, you can achieve it, despite the initial refusal. Correlate behavior with principles and your capabilities, consider whether you will regret (for example, seeking married woman, can you trust after she leaves the family for you).

An unrequited love for a guy can include a hunter in a girl, but there should be a difference in achieving the goal. A girl who decides to seek a guy should do it unobtrusively, tenderly, in a feminine way, giving the guy opportunities for initiative and the manifestation of his strength, because with obvious persistence, the effect will be the opposite and instead of gaining sympathy, you will get someone who avoids and breaks all contacts with you person.

If you are not yet ready to fully acknowledge the futility of a shared future right now, then you can choose to wait. But not that waiting, where you sit by the window with a sad look, but where you continue to be friends, communicate with the object of your feelings, while not pushing, but even developing your life. You need to wait actively, agreeing to all events, even if the beloved is not calling, participating in all sorts of events and trips, doing own appearance and image. Your job is to fill your life maximum number happiness, not in any way dependent on the presence of a nearby necessary person... There are usually two ways of development of such behavior, and both are positive - either something inside your adored person will switch and he will see you and fall in love, or you will be so carried away new life(and new people) that you will simply not have time for mental anguish over failed love (when you have protection in front of you scientific work, river rafting, three parties and participation in the presentation of a new exhibition, and also a new acquaintance dedicated a song to you and invited you to the dacha, it becomes quite difficult to suffer for an indifferent person).

Crisis situations of rejection are a very qualitative impetus on the way and. Look at your life - if everything revolves around the object of passion, if life is unthinkable without it and you are ready to do anything, if only they promised you that you will be together, then this is not love. Dependence, the desire to get the unattainable, the desire to prove, a way to get away from the real problems of your life, in a word, anything, just not love. Turn to what makes you stay in this story and start exploring your world. Literature about a place in life, as well as about relationships with people, trainings aimed at understanding your needs, values and the ability to interact, communication with close friends who know you well, people who have been in a situation similar to yours will help.

Unrequited love, what to do? You should not close yourself off from the world, if they get to know you, then do not interfere with this. Nobody forces you to find a replacement and meet at least someone, but new people will help to transfer negative emotions, will expand your perspective, provide support and a much-needed feeling of importance and need after rejection. Self-isolation and sitting, looking at a picture of unrequited love, is a straight path to a dead end.

How to get rid of unrequited love?

Feeling unrequited is hard enough, so people are looking for ways to forget unrequited love. The trap of desire to forget faster is that the more it tries to forcibly throw it out of the head, the more it sits there and more often reminds of itself. Trying to fence off and forcefully throw out the feeling, you doom yourself to the fact that the entire surrounding space will remind you of what you have experienced. On TV, all films will be about your story, people in transport will be wearing the same shirt, and friends will call exclusively to places associated with the object of love.

You can free yourself from the power of unrequited feelings, and the first step will be their recognition and acceptance. You can realize this alone, write on paper, or share it with trusted people, but the first step is to acknowledge the existence of such feelings. The next step is to accept the facts because of which this relationship did not work out (if you objectively do not find understanding, then be glad that nothing worked out, and if the reason is your real shortcomings, then think about eradicating).

Feelings have the ability to pass and not a single pain lasts forever if it is not artificially prolonged. To quickly get rid of unrequited attachment, it makes sense to move away from the object, because many attachments are strong in strength a large number time spent together. There is no need to shy away from a person and bypass him, in principle, without greeting, which will go beyond the scope of adequacy. Your task is to minimize contacts, if you work together, then choose another company for snacks and smoke breaks, but communicate on business issues, and if you are neighbors, then stop running after a screwdriver or salt to this particular apartment, buy your own. Stop engaging in masochism that tears apart an emotional wound when you monitor your lover's social media page, tracking all changes and likes, switch to your life. Withdrawal will inevitably lead to a change in your social structure and social circle, because space and time will be freed up. You can fill in the gaps with your own activities, for which there was not enough time before, or new acquaintances that satisfy your interests and needs at the moment.

Keep yourself busy to avoid the temptation to design in your head different options your joint impossible future. Finish the project, clean the apartment, rearrange, re-sew old dresses, take care of your development, your appearance, sign up for courses.

Nobody knows how to forget unrequited love in one day; this process will take time and patience. Sometimes feelings will return with renewed vigor, memories will fly like a hurricane into an already settled life, and such relapses are considered the norm. Each time, periods of calmness will become longer, and the number of tears will decrease, and the time will come, when you remember your failed love only after someone's question and inside nothing trembles, yes it was, yes it is. Most likely, over time, you will be able to adequately and without embellishment consider the person and understand that he does not suit you. Falling in love, which obscures the eyes and intensifies in the absence of reciprocity, usually embellishes a person, adds the desired qualities to him and does not correlate well with reality.

Do not arrange provocations for yourself in the form of meetings in order to check the feelings passed or something remains. Contact with a similar state as with any addiction (after all, in fact, a painful infatuation with a person who is indifferent to you is emotional addiction). Trying to communicate, being alone, calling at night is at the same level of risk as inviting a coded alcoholic to a bar. There is a chance that he will only drink milk, of course, but why conduct such experiments?

Give vent to your feelings - pain, sadness, annoyance. The sooner these emotions burn out, the faster you will be free from difficult experiences. Beware of the rapid emergence of new relationships, it is likely that you will transfer feelings that are not addressed to him to the new person, or he will simply be a plug for the hole in the chest. Spend time with people, flirt, establish light relationships, but start building something serious when the pain inside has subsided, when the rapprochement occurs gradually and with whoever you notice and who accepts you.

If you are not doing well on your own, then psychologists can tell you how to survive unrequited love. Better, of course, to choose personal therapy, then you do not have to experiment on own soul with all the advice from articles and forums, but as a variant of ideas that can prompt thought and search for a way out, text-based elaboration options may well be suitable.

The chances of living unrequited love diminish with experience. Going through the stages of initiation, disappointment with youthful unrequited love, a person learns to hear and understand own desires, find ways to implement them when you know what you want. Who you are and who is opposite you, it becomes clear what is possible between such people at once, and what can be achieved (the methods of achievement also become clear). Therefore, asking about how to deal with unrequited love rarely comes up in adulthood, but there are exceptions. Usually such cases are associated with previous traumatization and an unconscious unwillingness to build a viable relationship, i.e. a person, as it were, deliberately, but subconsciously chooses the one with whom reciprocity is impossible. Such behavior is guided by trauma (abandonment, betrayal, loneliness, violence - cases are individual) and a person alone is unlikely to be able to extricate himself from a similar situation... And there are people who carry irresponsibility through the years, not paying attention to the real options to be happy, staying true to that the only unattainable image.

Each problem has factors conducive to its development and secondary psychological benefits. Of the moments that provide a tendency to an unrequited feeling, one can single out the inability of a person to move from one stage of a relationship to another, which is the reason for getting stuck, and then rolling back instead of development. Irresponsibility accompanies insecurity, low self-esteem and fear the real world, its unpredictability and variability. Children who do not see in parental family examples of trustworthy long-term and loving relationship subconsciously repeat the model learned from childhood, and choose from all people the one who is not able to give them a full-fledged relationship. And just like in adolescents, people with an infantile personality organization, a lack of understanding of their own inner life, an orientation towards society have difficulties in choosing an object of attachment, or rather, there is a failure of guidelines for the establishment of quality relationships.

From such a suffering situation, a person can receive an indirect psychological benefit that justifies suffering. For example, with non-reciprocal love, a partner can be completely idealized and you do not have to interact with the real one (the one who wears dirty socks, sniffles and misplaces stress). It is much easier to love the ideal, even though distant and fantasized, than real person located in the immediate vicinity. And also so you can not notice your own shortcomings, which usually acquire volume when interacting with people. And also unrequited love gives the illusion of fullness and emotionally rich life, although in reality everything happens only in the head of a lover.

Changing the perspective of perception from a feeling of torment and the end of life to finding a resource in what is happening will help to survive such a feeling. Besides the fact that love makes you change in better side, non-reciprocal love also directs a person to a deep knowledge of himself and more qualitative changes... This is a chance to open up to the world, to receive new strength to overcome difficulties. Try to live full life and more contact with reality, without renouncing or denying the presence of feelings for a person, significantly expands your capabilities as a person.

Psychologists' advice on how to survive unrequited love is aimed at taking care of your life. Love gives strength, even an unhappy woman motivates people to be creative. You can start by doing an audit and throwing away all unnecessary and unpleasant things (from paper wrappers in a bag to obsolete interests). Start tidying up the non-love areas of your life. You can start with physical layer and equip your home, change your image - make outward manifestations consonant with your inner peace... You can start with some leisure time by signing up for courses of interest and viewing the program of activities. Look for something that will ignite and delight you, avoid grabbing the first thing that comes along.

How to forget unrequited love? You will need to take care of your emotional sphere... If you already feel that not everything is so simple in the reasons for your dependence on an indifferent person, then you can contact a specialist. And if the matter is only in the affected self-esteem, then arrange rehabilitation measures to restore it. As quickly and easily as possible, work on the appearance and communication with people, visiting new places, possibly charity events (usually so much support and gratitude to those who take part) will cope here.

Provide yourself with a constant flow of new emotions and impressions, positive and unrelated to the object of feelings, but avoid alcohol and drugs- a rollback after a temporary improvement can push you into depression. Go in for sports, because when physical activity our body can more easily process negative emotions and produce endorphins that are responsible for the level of happiness. In general, pay extra attention to health care. Good dream, Fresh air and balanced diet will help your worries much more than cake and midnight conversations with a bottle of wine.

Always present as a bright and pure feeling, forgetting about what she can bring negative emotions and even pain.

For example, if you have unrequited love: what to do in this case?

Unrequited love - what does it mean?

Everyone has experienced unrequited love at least once.

In this feeling there is hope for possible reciprocity, great desire to be with a specific person, pain from unrequited feelings, unwillingness to move on.

Some people experience this feeling for years. At the same time, they themselves understand the hopelessness of their situation and even make some attempts to destroy this connection, but, most often, they remain unsuccessful.

What to do if you fell in love with married man? Find out about it from ours.

Psychology and causes

The first thing to understand is feeling unhealthy. And the longer it goes on, the worse it gets for you.

What's the problem with unrequited love?

At the same time, a person most often does not notice himself when he steps on this path. He is as if in oblivion.

In this state, it can take a long time before the individual realizes his problem and will at least begin to make some attempts to break out of this vicious circle.

Why do I always fall in love unrequitedly?

So why is your love often not mutual?

How to deal with unrequited love for a girl?

Fell in love with a girl, but she did not reciprocate? What to do in such a situation?

How to live on?

It is very difficult to live with unrequited love. It's like a void has formed in your heart and it seems that only this person can fill it... But actually it is not.

First of all, you need to admit to yourself that you are in the shackles of unrequited love. She enslaved you and regularly wears you out.

Try to distract yourself or change your environment. Do not delve into yourself all day trying to understand what is wrong with you and why he does not love you. Open up to change. Bring something new to life or change it drastically.

Anyway, start already living, and not existing in the shadow of this person. Look for new emotions and impressions, expand your social circle.

Try to make sure that you no free time left... Devote it to your work or hobbies.

Switching to other activities helps to forget unrequited feelings.

Ask for help... Your friends or family can help you cope with this problem.

But if you feel that the situation is out of control, do not be afraid to see a psychologist. A technician will help you understand the problem and fix it.

Which is better: to love or to be loved? find out right now.

Books

Artworks about unhappy love:

Gone with the Wind M. Mitchell;
V. Nabokov "Lolita";
G.G. Marquez "Love in a Time of Plague";
J. Fowles "The Collector";
E. Bronte "Wuthering Heights".

Psychology:

I. Yalom "Treatment for love and other psychotherapeutic novels";
Dean K. Delice, K. Phillips. “The paradox of passion: she loves him, but he does not.”;
I. Korchagin "How to survive unhappy love";
M. Litvak “4 kinds of love”;
Leil Lowndes “How to make anyone fall in love with yourself. A short theoretical course and the most complete practical guide on the psychology of romantic love ”.

Unrequited love is not the most pleasant feeling often destructive who suffers from it. But it is possible and even necessary to fight against it.

Non-reciprocal love: what to do? The main mistakes in a situation of unrequited love:

Unrequited love- how to live on?

Many people suffer from unrequited love: about 80 percent of people have experienced a strong unrequited emotional attraction at least once in their life. For many, this becomes an ordeal. Indeed, often unrequited love leads to depression and disappointment in oneself, raises doubts about one's own attractiveness. How to experience unrequited love and feel happier again?

Out of sight, out of mind

“Why sob under a star that cannot be removed from the sky anyway? She will follow the path inscribed for her. And you do yours, "- said the writer I.A. Efremov. It is best to try to completely exclude the object of unrequited love from your life: do not look for meetings, do not call him, remove him from social networks... After all, as the saying goes folk wisdom: "Out of sight, out of mind". Why torture yourself and indulge in memories of unrequited love.

Concentrate on the flaws

You can also make a list of the flaws of the person who did not reciprocate with you. Ask your friends to help you with this. This will give you the opportunity to understand that the subject of your sighs is not perfect and does not deserve your suffering.

Life is the best medicine for unrequited love

The main thing is not to sit at home alone, not to suffer and not feel sorry for yourself. To forget about unrequited love, you need to try to change something in your life and thus change your attitude to the problem. Do you have an unfulfilled dream? The most right moment do something for yourself, listen to your abilities, diversify your life. For example, you can take a watercolor or salsa course, or take a trip to the Galapagos Islands. And then ride an elephant in Thailand or pet a tiger at the Chinese zoo.

Do good

Shift your focus from the object of unrequited love to those who need help. Good deeds will distract you from sad thoughts and fill your life with new meaning.

V recent times many centers for attracting volunteers have appeared in Russia for various activities... If you love animals, you can, for example, volunteer at a shelter for stray dogs or cats. Helping those in need, giving gifts and pleasing others - best therapy from unrequited love.

New acquaintances

And, of course, communication with friends and new ones will help to finally recover from unrequited love. As soon as you start actively communicating again, new acquaintances will appear in your life, and there will be a reason to fall in love again.

If you have little time for live communication, then you can register on a dating site for Serious relationships. Psychological test compatibility will help not only find out what type of personality you treat, but will also select the most for you suitable candidates for acquaintance. Nice talking will distract from worries! And, perhaps, you will meet a person with whom you will be happy.

There is no universal remedy for unrequited love, but you have to believe in happiness and fight for it, then it will surely find you! Successful