Family form functions of developmental stages. Stages of development of family relationships. Children leave their father's house

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How long will the economic crisis last? People are interested in the reasons and ways to get out of it, worrying about their quality of life. But for some reason they don’t learn to understand psychology. Although understanding the patterns of the family life cycle is more important than material aspects.

Any family, as a social system, also goes through stages, and the transitions between them are precisely crises. From which they come out with both losses and victories.

Stages of family life and crises

A family, like an organism, goes through cycles: birth, formation, development. Family disintegration can occur at any stage, but is most likely during the transformation of intrafamily relationships to which members of the “social unit” are not ready to adapt.

Family life cycle - the history of family events and relationships. Stages are a set of significant episodes. Back in 1948, psychologists E. Duval and R. Hill spoke about 24 periods of development of family relationships. Subsequently, the cycles were reduced to seven important stages. What you need to know about natural fractures in family life?

First crisis - young family

The first crisis awaits the young family. It is not for nothing that the year since the wedding is popularly called the “Cintz wedding,” which implies the fragility and vivid diversity of the spouses’ relationship. The dissimilarity of characters, habits, and principles create a kaleidoscope of happy moments and “grinding” quarrels. The same phenomena occur in civilian families. Sometimes this cycle stretches to five years.
What happens more will determine what the exit from the first crisis period will be. Negotiations and agreements are the main weapon at the stage of a developing family, so that... If you manage to find compromises, learn to smooth out contradictions, stop in time when anger begins to speak, not reason, help each other, and not infantilely shift responsibilities, then family life will transform into a new quality.

The birth of the first child

The birth of the first child is considered a difficult turning point. When a family moves from a childless couple to the status of a full family, the concentration on each other is broken. And building relationships in which a new participant has appeared requires wisdom and patience on both sides. To do this, it is important that the emotional attachment of the spouses develops into friendship. Otherwise, everyone will focus on their own problems and claims.
Sometimes a woman believes that she will receive the lack of love from her husband from her baby. But, faced with the responsibilities of a mother, she becomes depressed, realizing that she has to “give” more again. Therefore, the birth of a child should be approached carefully and together prepared for a new stage in the family.

A woman goes through enormous stress: physical, hormonal, psychological. A man too, but his task is to understand the state of his wife and not to oppose his functions as a “breadwinner” to those of his parents. After all, a father is also a parent. On this life stage The ability to help each other is important.

If there were contradictions before the birth of the baby, they become aggravated. Therefore, one should not think that a newborn will breathe life into a broken relationship, although this sometimes happens. But more often, problems put on pause will make themselves felt again in the next crisis period.

Crisis of 3 years

Which occurs when the child reaches three years of age. At the stage of families with preschoolers 3-6 years old, mothers return from maternity leave to work. In addition to household responsibilities, professional ones appear. New stresses arise on both spouses. The feeling that personal life Simply no, it leads to depression and nervousness.

The baby is acclimatizing to kindergarten. The introduction of a nanny or grandmother into the family also entails a number of issues: the problem of uniform requirements for the child’s behavior, preparation for school, preschool development.

Rebuilding your lifestyle in this cycle without succumbing to natural stress is not an easy task, but it is doable. If you realize that it will become easier when everything “gets on track.” Control negative emotions, conduct dialogues and strive for harmony. Friendship must transform into respect and complete acceptance of a partner with all his shortcomings.

Crisis of couples with children 6-12 years old

A married couple with children aged 6-12 years old attending school - a middle-aged family - realizes for the first time that their firstborn will sooner or later leave them. And spouses have different attitudes towards the prospect of being left alone with each other.

At this stage of life, the crisis stages of family members intersect: the birth of a second child, loss of a job or moving to another place, a midlife crisis in men, illnesses of the older generation.

An increase in spending adds elements of a financial crisis in the family, which contributes to an imbalance in the system of relationships.

Another reason for the crisis is that the product of joint “nurturing” is on display and the parents’ mistakes become obvious. Checking the effectiveness of upbringing reveals intra-family contradictions and conflicts for outsiders.

Combining career and education is not always possible to harmonize. Distortions affect state of mind all family members directly or indirectly.

Ideally, at this stage of full knowledge of each other, true love for the partner comes. But if relationships in previous life cycles have not been finalized, mutual claims do not allow one to act as a “united front” against problems. And most often, in terms of psychological atmosphere, a middle-aged family is the most anxious and turbulent stage of the entire life cycle. Because “satiation” with each other sets in, and a thirst for new sensations and emotions arises.

Teen crisis

When the eldest child grows up, most parents begin. Stage family life with older teenage children there is a crisis due to the children reaching puberty and the challenges associated with this process. And also with the ongoing physiological and psychological changes of the married couple themselves. Re-evaluating life experiences opens your eyes to missed opportunities. You take your own failures out on your partner. Men can look elsewhere for confirmation of their masculinity and wealth.

Maintaining hierarchy in the family is possible if a flexible system of rules is built and intra-family communication is established.

Children leave their father's house

The stage when children leave their parents' home forces spouses to evaluate their relationship without children. The nature of relationships with children striving for independence is changing. Revising your life routine, changing your habits and rhythm causes tension. This is especially true for non-working women, whose sense of self-worth is undermined if motherhood was their main activity and self-expression. Only the ability to fill the void with other activities will help you survive the crisis at this stage.

The “empty nest” stage

The “empty nest” stage . 50% of couples divorce when they realize that they no longer have anything to do with each other. Age-related deterioration in health, retirement, or a loved one cause crisis experiences. The common interests of the spouses can survive them. It's not worth living the life of grown-up children. After all, finally, you can devote all your time to each other.

The loss of one partner is the next crisis of the same life cycle. The solution will be to build new relationships with the families of adult children and grandchildren. Focus on further work or. It is also possible to create a new family.

Additional causes of family crises:

Treason.
Change in income level. And even if they grow.
Serious and long-term illnesses.
Change family composition: death of one of the members, arrival of parents.
Changes in lifestyle, sudden changes, moving.
Force majeure: military actions, political disagreements.

When spouses realize the stages of development of family relationships, there is an understanding that feelings do not pass away, but take on a renewed form. Each cycle has its own meaning. None strong relationships impossible without crises. By going through them, a person becomes mature, grows spiritually and hardens.

Crisis management is about changing to fit the role in new circumstances and helping your partner accept these changes. To emerge from a family crisis to a new level of mutual assistance and understanding by establishing relationships that are appropriate to the situation. If partners do not want to change, then alienation increases with every tension and will inevitably lead to the breakup of the family.

Signs of a crisis in the family

Not every quarrel is a crisis. Competition, anger, irritation and in a completely prosperous period. And moments of crisis do not always manifest themselves in quarrels. How many life stories, in which outwardly calm married couple quietly and almost peacefully dispersed.

In addition to scandals and mutual discontent, there are other signs of a crisis in the family:

Lack of mutual understanding and common opinion on any life issues.
Nullification of intimate life.
Spouses do not try to please each other.
All questions concerning children.
Partners get irritated for any reason.
One spouse constantly defers to the other's opinion. Because of this .
“Family psychopathy” - when there is no empathy and understanding of the feelings of another.
The desire to share your experiences, joys and problems disappears.
The husband and wife do not communicate and spend time at work or outside the family.

The main thing is to understand in time that discord is a component of a new stage in marital relations.

How to cope with a family crisis

If you realize that your couple is going through a crisis, this is half the success in getting out of it successfully. How to cope with a family crisis and take relationships to another level?

Communicate. Talk through all the problems and mutual complaints one by one.
Voice it out general rules, distribute responsibilities.
Come to a compromise, that is, to a result that suits everyone.
Know how to apologize if you realize you made a mistake. . If you are not ready, then instead of ignoring, explain your condition and reschedule the conversation.
Don't criticize your partner in front of witnesses.
When expressing complaints, avoid insults and generalizations.
Don't provoke your partner. If he is already in , help him.
Don't do anything rash. Avoid hasty decisions.
Look at your partner with new eyes, find new points of contact.
Contact a psychologist.

Only with the cooperation of the spouses, the mutual desire to preserve the relationship and transfer it to a different quality, do they emerge from crises renewed and united. Don't give up, work on yourself, do everything you can in every life cycle to save. To be winners, not losers.

February 26, 2014

Introduction

1. Basic functions of the family

3. The crisis of the modern family

Conclusion

Introduction

A family is a socially sanctioned and relatively permanent association of people related by blood, marriage or adoption, living together and economically dependent on each other. Being a necessary component of the social structure of any society and performing multiple social functions, the family plays an important role in social development. Generations of people change through the family, a person is born into it, and the family continues through it.

The importance of the family in public life is determined by such basic social functions as regulating relations between the sexes and generations, the birth and socialization of children, the transfer of material and spiritual values ​​from generation to generation, intra-family redistribution of income, the formation of needs and joint consumption of material and cultural goods, organization and housekeeping, personal farming and family production, restoration of strength and health, care for young children, the sick and the elderly. The family performs the functions of emotional and spiritual communication, mutual support and cooperation, satisfaction of sexual needs and others.

In sociology, a family is a social association whose members are connected by a common life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance. Essentially, the family is a system of relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, based on marriage or blood relationship and having a historically determined organization. In other words, family is new object, with new properties where the family's old properties may mysteriously disappear. A family is, first of all, the relationships between its individuals. We often do not understand that starting a family means not only finding a person and putting the appropriate stamp in the passport. Starting a family means building relationships of love, mutual understanding and support.

Every family has a certain level of spirituality. The higher this level, the more reasons for a family to be united, develop abilities and interests, satisfy the cultural needs of its members, successfully raise children, and live a rich moral and emotional-aesthetic life. The spiritual values ​​of the family should, first of all, include its ideological and moral foundations, collectivist relations, psychological climate, communication within the family and with the outside world, contacts with the media, literature and art, aesthetics of everyday life, educational potential, and intellectual aspirations.

The family belongs to special, fundamental groups of society. The family is quite noticeable impact on society. First of all, by its reproductive function. It is the family that carries out the birth, education, and cultivation of new members of society. In addition, the family regulates sexual relations between people. To some extent, it is a kind of model of society, all social connections and relationships for a young man. For example, in a family there are material relationships that develop regardless of the will of people. These include relations between the sexes and economic relations between family members in the process of producing necessary goods. In the family, a person first encounters the division of labor

The universality of the family as an institution is revealed in the concept of “family function”. Social functions refer to the basic needs of society and people that are satisfied by the family.

The purpose of this test is to study the basic functions of the family in a changing world.

This goal is achieved by solving the following tasks:

– study of the basic functions of the family;

– revealing the functions of the family in a changing world;

Family is the most important value in the lives of many people living in modern society. Each member of society, in addition to social status, ethnicity, property and financial situation, from the moment of birth until the end of life, has such a characteristic as family and marital status. For a child, the family is the environment in which the conditions for his physical, mental, emotional, and intellectual development are directly formed. For an adult, the family is a source of satisfaction for a number of his needs and a small team that places various and quite complex demands on him. At the stages of a person’s life cycle, his functions and status in the family change successively.

1. Basic functions of the family

The basis of the family is the marriage union between a man and a woman in one form or another, sanctioned by society. It does not, however, come down to the relationship between them, even legally formalized, but presupposes the relationship between husband and wife, parents and children, which gives it the character of the most important social institution. This is determined, first of all, by the fact that the family owes its emergence, existence and development, first of all, to social needs, norms and sanctions that require spouses to take care of their children. At the same time, the family is considered as a small social group based on marriage or consanguinity, whose members are connected by a common life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance. The essence of the family is expressed through such concepts as the function of the family, its structure and the role behavior of its members.

Family function is an area of ​​family activity that is directly related to meeting the specific needs of all members. The main purpose of the family is to satisfy social, group and individual needs. Being the social unit of society, the family satisfies a number of its most important needs, including the reproduction of the population. At the same time, it satisfies the personal needs of each member, as well as general family (group) needs. The main functions of the family follow from this: reproductive, economic, educational, communicative, organization of leisure and recreation. There is a close relationship, interpenetration and complementarity between them.

The reproductive function of the family is the reproduction of life, that is, the birth of children, the continuation human race. This function includes elements of all other functions, since the family participates not only in the quantitative, but also in the qualitative reproduction of the population. This is, first of all, connected with introducing the new generation to the scientific and cultural achievements of mankind, maintaining its health, as well as preventing the reproduction of various kinds of biological anomalies in new generations.

The family participates in the social production of the means of subsistence, restores the strength of its adult members spent in production, runs its own household, has its own budget, and organizes consumer activities. All this taken together constitutes the economic function of the family.

Closely related to the economic function is the problem of family management, that is, the issue of leadership in the family. As noted, the Soviet family is less and less characterized by the features of autocracy. Families where the husband has undivided power are rare, but families have appeared where the head is the wife. Here, the family budget is concentrated in the hands of the mother (for various reasons); she is the main educator of children and organizer of leisure time. This situation also cannot be considered normal: an exorbitant burden falls on a woman’s shoulders, she cannot replace a father for children, and the psychological balance in the family is disturbed.

Both adults and children are raised in the family. Especially important has its influence on the younger generation. Therefore, the educational function of the family has three aspects. The first is the formation of the child’s personality, the development of his abilities and interests, the transfer to children by adult family members (mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, etc.) of what has been accumulated by society social experience; development of a scientific worldview and a highly moral attitude towards work; instilling in them a sense of collectivism, the need and ability to be a citizen and owner, to observe the norms of socialist society and behavior; enriching their intellect, aesthetic development, promoting their physical improvement, strengthening their health and developing sanitary and hygienic skills. The second aspect is the systematic educational impact of the family team on each member throughout his life. The third aspect is the constant influence of children on parents (and other adult family members), encouraging them to actively engage in self-education.

The success of fulfilling this function depends on the educational potential of the family. It is a set of conditions and means that determine the pedagogical capabilities of the family. This complex combines material and living conditions, the size and structure of the family, the development of the family team and the nature of the relationships between its members. It includes the ideological, moral, emotional, psychological and work atmosphere, life experience, education and professional quality parents. Great importance have the personal example of their father and mother, family traditions. It is necessary to take into account the nature of communication in the family and its communication with others, the level pedagogical culture adults (primarily mothers and fathers), the distribution of educational responsibilities between them, the relationship of the family with the school and the community. Special and very important component– the specifics of the process of family education itself.

The family has the most active influence on the development of spiritual culture, the social orientation of the individual, and motives of behavior. Being a micromodel of society for a child, the family turns out to be the most important factor in the development of a system social attitudes and formation of life plans. Social rules are first realized in the family, the cultural values ​​of society are consumed through the family, learning about other people begins with the family. The range of family influence on the upbringing of children is as wide as the range of social influence.

All higher value Sociologists have attached and continue to attach to the communicative function of the family. The following components of this function can be named: family mediation in contact of its members with the media (television, radio, periodicals), literature and art; the influence of the family on the diverse connections of its members with the natural environment and on the nature of its perception; organization of intrafamily communication.

If the family pays sufficient attention to the performance of this function, then this significantly enhances its educational potential. Activities to create a psychological climate for the family are often associated with the communicative function.

The personal happiness of men and women, the mental, physical and spiritual health of spouses and children, and a person’s satisfaction with life largely depend on the normal functioning of the family.

2. Functions of the family in a changing world

family spiritual culture social

The functions of the family change over the course of history, as does the family itself. So, for example, during the period when the family was distinguished by a primitive organization, its functions were not sharply separated from social ones, because a weakly technically armed and weakly protected person could not live and work only within the family. Later, the family becomes a “small society” and largely frees a person from dependence on society as a whole ( patriarchal family). In the end, there is again a significant intertwining of the functions of family and society, and the latter takes on a significant part of the function of the family.

For each person, the family performs emotional and recreational functions that protect the person from stressful and extreme situations. The comfort and warmth of home, the fulfillment of a person’s need for trusting and emotional communication, sympathy, empathy, support - all this allows a person to be more resistant to the conditions of modern hectic life. The essence and content of the economic function consists of managing not only the general household, but also economic support for children and other family members during the period of their incapacity.

During the period of socio-economic transformations in society, the functions of the family undergo changes. The leading historical function was the economic function of the family, subordinating all others: the head of the family - a man - was the organizer of common labor, children were early included in the lives of adults. The economic function entirely determined the educational and reproductive functions. Currently, the economic function of the family has not died out, but has changed.

Each society forms a family in its own image and likeness. A family is a society in miniature, with all its achievements and contradictions. Currently, the family is going through a difficult period of development: there is a transition from the traditional family model to a new one, and the types of family relationships are changing.

Society is constantly changing, and the family changes along with it. A family is a living, constantly changing system. It changes not only under the influence of socio-economic conditions, but also due to internal development processes. The family is also affected by such phenomena as migration, urbanization, industrialization, etc. Problems arise that did not exist before.

Analysis of sociological information shows that in the modern civilized world there is a process of gradual moving away from the traditional type of family and approaching the democratic type. Although this movement is uneven on all four scales and ambiguous in all social systems, the observed trend can be considered progress in family relations.

Famous American sociologist W. Goode defines family disorganization as “a breakdown in family unity, a disruption in the structure of social roles, when one or more family members cannot accurately fulfill their role responsibilities.”

The main forms of family disorganization are:

1. Incomplete family group, illegitimacy. Although about this family group it cannot be said that it disintegrated - it never existed - illegitimacy can still be regarded as a form of family disorganization. Firstly, because the father-husband cannot fulfill his role functions in relation to the mother and child, as prescribed by society. Secondly, because the roles of both father and mother as a family member in relation to social control are not fulfilled, which is an indirect cause of illegitimacy.

2. Family breakdown due to the intentional departure of one of the spouses; annulment, separation, divorce, desertion. This can also include family abandonment, when a person uses various excuses to be away from home for a long period of time.

3. The family is “like an empty shell,” when spouses live together but maintain only minimal contact with each other, unable to fulfill their role responsibilities in the area of ​​mutual emotional support, including sexual relationships.

4. Family crisis, caused by external events: death of one of the spouses, imprisonment, etc.

5. Internal disasters associated with the physical pathology of one of the spouses or children; incurable mental illness of spouses, mental retardation children.

This classification allows us to assert that the family, like other social institutions, is the creator of roles, and their fulfillment is a mandatory attribute of its existence.

Over time, changes occur in family functions: some are lost, others change in accordance with new social conditions. In modern society, the importance of such functions as emotional, sexual, educational, and spiritual has increased significantly. Marriage is increasingly seen as a union based on emotional connections rather than economic and material ones.

IN modern world The family, in addition to traditional functions, namely educational and reproductive, began to serve as a psychological refuge - a place for relieving stress and creating emotional comfort. This is especially true for young couples, because creating a favorable psychological climate in the family is the key to further successful family life.

3. The crisis of the modern family

To fully disclose the above, I would like to consider the issue of crisis in the modern family, since changes in some functions of the family are closely related precisely to the crisis situations developing in the modern family. The Russian family is going through a difficult crisis. A significant number of family and moral traditions have been lost, the attitude of parents towards children has changed, the psychological microsociety of the family has been largely destroyed, and its educational function has been weakened. The child often lives in conditions of socio-psychological deprivation, experiences a lack of emotional support, and the family does not guarantee him security.

Family influence on children is unique in intensity and effectiveness. It is carried out continuously, simultaneously covering all aspects of personality formation, and continues for many years. This impact is based primarily on the emotional relationship between parents and children, becoming one of the main factors in family dysfunction.

The alienation of parents from children, younger generations from elders against the backdrop of infringement of universal and religious morality, weakening of the values ​​of family well-being led in the late 80s - early 90s to that rampant immorality and social pathology, which most clearly reveals the social crisis of our society, the crisis existential values. Based on the above, Russia will need much more time to transform the entire system of life, reorienting it towards the interests of the family, than Western countries. Hence, we need to start a pro-family policy and think about how to make it effective earlier.

Childlessness and having few children have become quite common in most of Russia, and not only that. A sharp decline in material standards forces young families to refuse to have a second and third child and to postpone the birth of the first. Families with two or more children more often end up in poverty and in this situation cannot provide for their children good nutrition, content and education.

The current situation in Russia (economic crisis, increased social and political tension, interethnic conflicts, growing material and social polarization of society, etc.) has aggravated the situation of the family. For millions of families, the conditions for the implementation of social functions - reproductive, existential content and primary socialization of children - have sharply deteriorated. The problems of the Russian family are coming to the surface and becoming noticeable not only to specialists.

These are a fall in the birth rate, an increase in mortality, a decrease in the marriage rate and an increase in the divorce rate, an increase in the frequency of premarital sexual relations, an increase in the frequency of early and very early, as well as out-of-wedlock births. This is an unprecedented increase in the number of abandonments of children and even their murders, and galloping teenage and, alas, child crime, and an increase in emotional alienation between family members. This includes the growing preference for so-called alternative forms of marriage and family life, including the growing number of singles, single-parent families, marriage-like relationships and quasi-families of gays and lesbians, and the growing number of marital cohabitations. This includes the growth of family deviation - alcohol and drug abuse, family violence, including incestuous.

The collapse of families with several children and lifelong marriages is a global process, most clearly manifested in developed countries. Few children are a global problem of our time, which arose as a result of the historical weakening of the family institution, the destruction of family production and the transformation of family members into hired workers who do not have new, market incentives to have children at all. The modern degradation of the family as a marital union, a union of parents and children and an economic association, that is, as an institution that does not fulfill its fundamental functions, is a direct result of the cessation of the inertial action of the norms of the family way of life, the departure of family production into oblivion. Three centuries away from family, market-oriented production turned out to be enough for the need for children as such to dry up.

The new society did not bother to create new incentives for having children. That is why there is such a massive need for one child in a market economy (wage labor). If the market economy does not change in this regard, then in one demographic generation people’s need for one – only child – will begin to weaken.

The goal of family strengthening policy is to create in the market system a completely new market motivation for starting a family and children. Motherhood and fatherhood, logically, should become a professional occupation, just like any other business. Society should feel the need and interest in the family fulfilling its functions of reproduction and socialization of new generations.

Conclusion

The most detailed description of the family as a social institution is given by S. V. Darmodekhin: “The family as a community of people, connected by relationship marriage, parenthood, kinship, joint household, as the main unit of society, performs the most important social functions, plays a special role in human life, his protection, personality formation, satisfaction of spiritual needs, ensuring primary socialization.

Family is unique social institution, an intermediary between the individual and the state, a transmitter of fundamental values ​​from generation to generation. It contains a powerful potential for influencing the processes of social development, reproduction of the labor force, and the formation of civil relations. The family has a consolidating value and resists social confrontation and tension.”

This definition attempts to cover as many characteristics, types and social functions of the family as possible. At the same time, only a part of families can have all these qualities. In other words, not all families have spouses or children, not all families lead a joint household, not all ensure the implementation of basic social functions and resist social confrontation and tension in society, etc. Until now, it has not been possible to formulate an impeccable definition of family.

In conclusion, we can say that family and marriage are an integral part of the entire society. The crisis of the family is a crisis of the entire society. We must try to overcome it. After all, without a family we cannot live, we cannot exist as a people, as a whole nation. The family is the main source, and primarily the source of population reproduction.

List of used literature

1. Darmodekhin S.V. Family in the system social relations modern society / S. V. Darmodekhin // World of Psychology. – 2008. – No. 3. P.159

2. Dolgikh I. E. Rehabilitation program dysfunctional family/AND. E. Dolgikh // Social service worker. – 2004. – No. 1. pp. 44-50

3. Divitsyna N.F. Family studies M.: Humanit. ed. Center. VLADOS, – 2006. – 372 p.

4. Fundamentals of social work: Textbook / Rep. ed. P. D. Pavlenok. – 2nd ed., rev. and additional – M.: INFRA-M, 2003. – 395 p.

5. Social work theory and practice: Textbook/rep. ed. Doctor of Historical Sciences, Prof. E. I. Kholostova, Doctor of Historical Sciences, Prof. A. S. Sorvina. – M.: INFRA-M, 2003. – 427 p.

6. Social pedagogy / Under general. ed. M. A. Galaguzova. – M.: Humanite. ed. VLADOS center, 2000. – 416 p.

7. Tyugashev E. A. Family studies: Textbook. – Novosibirsk: Siberian University of Consumer Cooperation, 2006. – 194 p.

Stages of family life.

Family relationships are not given right away. The family is not a static entity, it develops. There are different approaches to periodizing the stages of family development. Typically, periodization is based on significant events in the lives of family members (marriage, birth of a child, enrollment of a child in a preschool educational institution, school, adolescence a child, a child leaving home, involutionary changes in the lives of spouses, the appearance of grandchildren, the death of one of the spouses). Most often, it is based on the criterion of changing the position of children in the family structure. This is no coincidence. The function of giving birth and raising children is one of the most important functions of the family. But family relationships are not only the relationship between parents and children. Therefore, it would be more reasonable to periodize the development of the family according to the totality of various relationships associated with the family and their significance. Navaitis suggests linking the identification of stages with the statistics of family crises, which reflect the emergence of new emotional tasks, activity tasks, and changes in family structure. These are normative stressors, challenges that most families face. Family development is also determined by changes in the needs of the individual over time. They have not yet been sufficiently studied. There are certain time intervals during which the tasks of individual stages are most successfully solved. P: Too short (less than 6 months) and too long (more than 3 years) premarital communication can lead to family instability. Premarital pregnancy and delaying the birth of a child for more than 5 years also. Families living in different socio-economic conditions are similar in many parameters of their development.

Based on the principle of identifying the characteristics of emotional development and the tasks of activity, the following stages of family development are distinguished.

Premarital communication. It is necessary to achieve partial psychological and material independence from the genetic family, gain experience in communicating with the other sex, choose a marriage partner, and gain experience in emotional and business communication with him.

Marriage. Acceptance of marital social roles. Including the couple's relationship in the broader context of the relationship that already exists for each spouse.

Honeymoon. Accepting changes in the intensity of feelings, establishing psychological and spatial distance with genetic families, gaining experience of interaction in organizing the daily life of the family, creating intimacy, primary coordination of family roles.

Stage of a young family. It begins with the decision on the birth of a child, ends with the return of the wife to professional activity or the beginning of visitation with the child. preschool. Separation of roles associated with motherhood and fatherhood, their coordination. Material provision for new living conditions for the family, adaptation to heavy physical and mental stress, limitation of the general activity of spouses outside the family, and insufficient opportunity to be alone. It is important to form a parental identity, which implies an altruistic attitude and a willingness to sacrifice. A family with a small child has special risks. Spouses may not be able to withstand dual identities: parental and partner.

Mature family. A family that fulfills all its functions. Creating a new relationship structure. The family is replenished with new personalities. The roles of parents are changing. The ability to satisfy the child’s needs for care and safety must be complemented by the ability to educate, organize social connections child. Ends when children achieve partial independence from the parental family. The psychological influence of children and parents on each other comes to a balance; all family members are conditionally autonomous.

A family of older people. Marital relations are resumed. New content is given to family functions (P: the educational function is expressed in raising grandchildren). It’s good if not everything is given to the children.

Problems not solved at a certain stage must be solved at subsequent ones. If this does not happen, the family is unable to fulfill them

Sysenko V.A. proposed a periodization of the family. Young marriages: very young marriages (0-4 years), young marriages (5-9 years)…….

Stages of the Family Life Cycle (Becvar and Becvar)

	Situations that give rise to emotional problems	Critical Stage Tasks
1. Unmarried adult	Accepting separation from parents	1) separation from the parental family; 2) developing relationships with peers; 3) beginning of a career;
2. Newlyweds	Fulfilling the Marital Commitment	1) formation of a marriage system; 2) creating psychological space for the spouse in the family and among friends; 3) resolving career-related issues;
3. Having children	Acceptance of new members into the family	1) preparing the family to create a psychological space for the child; 2) accepting the role of parents; 3) formation of psychological space for grandparents;
4. Preschool age children	Adoption new personality	1) adaptation of the family to the needs of a particular child; 2) coping with lack of energy and solitude; 3) the end of the period of existence as a “couple”
5. Children school age	Children establishing relationships outside the family	1) expanding interactions between family and society 2) encouraging children's success in education; 3) increased activity and lack of time;
6. Teenage children	Increasing flexibility in family boundaries for greater independence	1) shifting the balance in the relationship between parents and children; 2) switching to career and family problems corresponding to middle age; 3) an increase in the number of problems associated with the older generation
7. Family as a “launching pad”	Acceptance of leaving the family and returning to the family	1) “leaving” of adult children to work, study, or get married; 2) maintaining a favorable family basis; 3) acceptance of returning (for any reason) adult children
8. Middle-aged adult	Coming to terms with children leaving the family and living together	1) restoration of marital relations; 2) adoption of children and grandchildren into the family of spouses; 3) caring for elderly parents.
9. Retirement	Accepting retirement and old age	1) maintaining individual and marital functioning; 2) support for the middle generation; 3) experiencing the death of parents and spouses; 4) return to the nuclear family

Family crises

The family system exists in a certain balance thanks to family ties. This balance is fluid. Changes that inevitably occur within the family and in the world surrounding the family lead to changes in the system of family relations. These changes can be so large that they lead to family crises.

A family crisis is a state of the family system characterized by a disruption of homeostatic processes, leading to frustration of the usual ways of family functioning and the inability to cope with a new situation using old patterns of behavior. (Olifovich, Zinkevich – Kuzemkina, Velenta).

A crisis can lead to two possible lines of family development:

The destructive line is a disruption of family relationships, the danger of their collapse.

Constructive – the transition of the family to a new level of functioning.

There are several approaches to describing family crises:

Based on family life cycle research. Crises are viewed as normative phenomena. They arise during the transition from one stage of family development to another when obstacles arise. At the heart of normative crises is often the individual normative crisis of one or more family members. Crises in individual subsystems can influence the course of normative family crises.

Based on an analysis of the life path of a family, events in its life that affect the stability of the family system. They can occur regardless of the stages of a family’s life.

Based on special studies of crisis situations in the family. There are two critical periods of marital relations, which last about a year:

Between 3 and 7 years of married life. Associated with the departure of romance from relationships, novelty in relationships, the discovery of different views on important aspects of life, and the discrepancy between the partner’s behavior in everyday life and his behavior during the courtship period. This leads to negative emotions and tension in relationships. This crisis, according to N.V. Samoukina, is associated with a change in the image of the spouse, mainly with a decrease in his status in the eyes of another.

Between 17 and 25 years of married life. Less deep than the first. Under unfavorable conditions it can last for several years. Associated with the approaching period of involution, the emergence of emotional instability, deteriorating health, the emergence of fears (aging, illness, loneliness, poverty, betrayal of a partner), the departure of children, the emergence of emotional dependence on a partner. Samukina: the crisis is caused by psychological fatigue from each other, the desire for novelty in relationships and lifestyle. The crisis is facilitated by the relative independence of the spouses and the mutual search for ways to renew the relationship.

Main characteristics of family crises:

Exacerbation of situational contradictions in the family.

Disorder of the entire system and all processes occurring in it.

Increasing instability in family system.

Generalization of the crisis (not spreading to all aspects of family relationships)

The crisis manifests itself at all levels of the family system:

At the individual level: emotional discomfort, decreased communicative effectiveness, decreased marital satisfaction, the experience of being misunderstood, the impossibility of changing the situation, externality of the locus of control, closedness to new experience, the emergence of highly valuable ideas.

At the microsystem level: disruption of cohesion (disunity - symbiosis), deformation of internal and external boundaries of the family (blurring - rigidity), disruption of family flexibility (chaoticity - rigidity), changes in the role structure of the family (emergence of dysfunctional, pathological roles, rigid and uneven distribution of roles) , violation of hierarchy, the emergence of conflicts, negative emotions, criticism, disruption of communication, general dissatisfaction with relationships, differences in views, silent protest, regression (return to early models of family functioning), contradictory claims and expectations of family members, destruction of old values ​​and norms, lack of formation new, violation of rules, traditions.

At the macrosystem level: actualization of the family myth, archaic behavior, effective in the past, but inadequate in the modern situation, violation of the internal and external boundaries of the extended family, violation of the hierarchy, role structure, traditions of the extended family, ineffectiveness of old and lack of formation of new family rules.

At the megasystem level: social isolation of the family, social maladjustment of the family, conflicts with the social environment.

In a crisis situation, the family’s ability to meet the urgent needs of its members decreases, which leads to the appearance of a symptom in one of them. IN family counseling the symptom carrier is called the “identified patient.” Most often this is a child. The symptom allows you to maintain existing relationships that are threatened by a crisis. Characteristics of symptomatic behavior:

1. strong influence on other family members;

2. involuntariness, impossibility of control on the part of the carrier;

3. reinforcement of the symptom by the environment;

4. benefit of the symptom to other family members;

5. family stabilizer function (the symptom protects family members from other problems that are destructive to the family system).

Often a family wants to get rid of a symptom and turns to specialists for this. But if family members do not want to solve the problem that caused the crisis or change anything in their lives, then in place of one symptom another may appear (the husband stops drinking, but the child gets sick).

An important role in the emergence and course of crises is played by normative family filters (a set of norms, rules, attitudes, role positions, ideas characteristic of a family). Due to the peculiarities of normative filters, some families experience even minor problems very hard, while others maintain cohesion and mutual support in the event of a serious crisis.

Crises are divided into normative and non-normative. Normative ones are associated with the transition of the family to the next stage of development, and non-normative ones are associated with the experience of negative events in the life of the family.

Regulatory crises

The natural dynamics of family life leads to the need for change, and therefore is associated with risk, with the experience of an uncertain future. There is often a desire to avoid change. This can lead to negative symptoms in family members. The way out of the crisis leads either to the establishment of new relationships between family members, or to disruptions in relationships and alienation. It depends on the flexibility of the family, the ability of the spouses to psychological victims, desire to save the family.

In accordance with the stages of family life, the following normative family crises are distinguished:

1. assuming marital obligations;

2. spouses mastering parental roles and accepting the fact of a new personality appearing in the family;

3. inclusion of children in external social structures (kindergarten, school)

4. accepting the fact that a child is entering adolescence, experimenting with his independence.

5. The grown child leaves home.

6. The couple are left alone again

7. acceptance of the death of one of the spouses.

When analyzing normative crises, the plan of emotional relationships in the family and the plan of role relationships are taken into account.

(Crises - notes on your own. Olifirovich pp. 35-86)

Remarriage.

This phenomenon is not in the full sense a normative crisis, because Not all families experience it. But for people who have entered into a new marriage, it is normative. A remarriage is created by a person who has previously been married. In this case, not two, but three or more genera are combined. There are several types of remarriage:

By the nature of the termination of previous marital relations:

A) a marriage in which at least one of the spouses experienced a divorce;

B) a marriage in which at least one of the spouses has experienced marital relations.

2. Based on the presence or absence of experience in marriage:

A) a marriage in which one of the partners had experience of marital relations.

B) A marriage in which both partners had experience of marital relations.

3. According to the number of children born in previous marriages:

A) neither partner has children from previous marriages;

B) one of the partners has children from previous marriages;

C) both partners have children from previous marriages;

4. According to the age difference between partners:

A) partners are the same age or one is slightly older;

B) one is much older than the other (more than 10 years).

Difficulties faced by members of the new family:

role ambiguity.

lack of common traditions and norms;

establishing the boundaries of the new family;

establishing close relationships with extended family members;

difficulties in parent-child relationships;

problems not resolved in a previous marriage.

The problems experienced by a newly created family and the duration of their experience may vary.

Factors that often lead to emotional problems:

the need to assume parental functions in relation to step-children. Problems of sharing these functions with biological parents, experiencing feelings of guilt in relation to their own children.

Conflict of loyalty in children. It is important for the child to maintain contact with the biological parent while establishing a positive relationship with the adoptive parent. Often loyalty to the biological parent is accompanied by a difficult relationship with the adoptive one. Acceptance of a stepmother or stepfather may be considered by a child as a betrayal of a relative living separately. Dislike for to the foster parent may act as revenge or as an insult to the parent living with him.

Establishing family boundaries. Internal boundaries concern interactions between members of the new family. External ones regulate relationships with relatives and immediate circles. Problems relate to family composition, definition of family property, areas of responsibility, characteristics child-parent relationships, bringing changes and new rules to the attention of the child. It is important to keep boundaries permeable. Preserve the child’s relationship with the parent living separately, strengthening the authority of the stepmother (stepfather). It is useful for a step-parent to first establish friendly relations with the child, and then gradually participate in upbringing.

There are various myths in relation to remarriage that complicate the experience of the crisis:

If my partner loves me, he will love my children;

My husband must love my children as if they were his own;

My stepmother (stepfather) will never love my child as his own;

A child will never be able to love his stepmother (stepfather) as his own parent;

The child will suffer from the presence of a stranger in the family;

A stepmother (stepfather) should not interfere in the upbringing of a stepchild;

Each subsequent marriage is always worse than the previous one.

Despite all the difficulties that arise, remarriage has a number of advantages. Partners are deprived of a number of illusions, they make more efforts to maintain relationships, and experience less fear of the need to break off unsatisfactory relationships.

The development of relationships with a new partner largely depends on how completed the relationship with the former spouse was, and if the spouse died, how much the death was experienced. If the relationship is not completed, there is a risk of living as a “threesome”. P: Ir.Fed - Kokhma

There are a number of difficulties in building relationships with a new partner:

Dating difficulties;

Fear of close relationships due to disappointment from a previous marriage;

Feeling of guilt towards children;

Children's non-acceptance of the parent's new relationship;

The presence of negative introjects associated with remarriage.

Remarriage crisis indicators:

conflicts due to role ambiguity, inadequate attitudes and expectations;

violation of the external boundaries of the new family (often lack of contact with extended families)

problems of parent-child relationships.

lack of close relationships;

disappointment in a new marriage due to unmet expectations.

Repeated remarriage is often associated with the action of family scenarios.

Abnormal family crises

These are crises, the occurrence of which is potentially possible at any stage of the life cycle and is associated with the experience of negative life events. R. Hill identified 3 groups of factors leading to non-normative crises:

External difficulties (lack of work, housing)

Unexpected events, stress (catastrophe, serious illness, death, unexpectedly revealed important facts life of family members, etc.)

The family’s internal inability to adequately evaluate and experience any family event that it considers stressful (illness, death, betrayal, divorce)

Components of a non-normative family crisis:

crisis event;

Family members’ perception and understanding of what is happening (P: child theft)

Attitude to the event and features of its experience.

Changes in the family system.

Possible individual and family-wide ways to overcome the crisis.

They are interconnected.

The most common non-normative family crises are associated with betrayal and divorce.

This is the entry of a married person into sexual relations with persons from other married couples or with single men and women. It can be episodic or systematic. According to Willard Harley, adultery is entering into an extramarital relationship that involves sexual intimacy and a mutual experience of deep love. If there is mutual affection without sexual relations or sexual relations without love, this is not considered by him as betrayal. Such relationships can lead to serious problems in a marriage, but they are much easier to deal with than cheating.

It is precisely because of infidelity that spouses most often turn to family counseling.

Attitude towards treason in different cultures and it is different in relation to men and women. In our society, despite significant changes in sexual morality, attitudes towards infidelity remain negative. They are seen as a violation of assumed obligations, a betrayal.

The impact of infidelity on a marital relationship can vary. This is due to its nature, duration, stage of family life. It is usually a sign of marital disharmony, but can also occur in harmonious families. May be associated with sexual disharmony, disruption of personal relationships, and the search for new experiences. In the latter case, there is a high level of a person’s general vital activity, as well as such personality traits as sociability, courage, and the ability to devote themselves. Indecision, passivity, fear prevent betrayal.

Men cheat more often to satisfy sexual needs. Women - to satisfy the need for attention, care, romantic experiences. Men have more permissive views when it comes to their infidelity than when it comes to a woman’s infidelity. (double standard). Women adhere to a position of equality and are more conservative in their assessment of infidelity and prohibit it to a greater extent.

It is traditionally believed that infidelity is destructive to a marriage. But a number of experts believe that betrayal makes it possible to maintain and renew marital relationships that are collapsing or have become routine. (“A good leftist strengthens the family”) K. Whitaker: a lover is a psychotherapist on the side. The opinion on this issue is influenced by the gender of the researcher. Most often, men take a half-hearted position, suggesting some usefulness of an extramarital affair. Considering that for modern marriages, love is an important basis, the main motive for its conclusion, betrayal can lead to its destruction.

In any case, betrayal affects family relationships. Child-parent relationships may be disrupted: intergenerational coalitions, inverted hierarchies of relationships, and role inversions may arise. Betrayal affects the honor of the spouse and is accompanied by feelings of jealousy and destructive affects.

Treason performs a number of functions:

This is a way to end a marital relationship.

Drawing the partner's attention to the unsatisfaction of important needs.

Implementation of family scenarios.

A way to compensate for feelings of inferiority and increase self-esteem

Most often, infidelity occurs due to dissatisfaction of at least one need of the husband and wife in marriage.

Reasons for cheating:

Individual characteristics of marriage partners (violation of gender-role identity, personal characteristics - Don Juan syndrome)

Family factors (lack of emotional intimacy, cooling of feelings, incompatibility, revenge, sexual dissatisfaction). The most common betrayal is due to dissatisfaction of the need for recognition on the part of the spouse. This is the most common reason marital conflicts. This is more typical for people with higher education.

Features of the extended family (messages, family scenario - Ira - Vitya, uncle)

Cheating is facilitated by: inadequate motivation for marriage, a large age difference, lack of joint leisure, the routine nature of the relationship, and a large amount of free time for one of the spouses.

Motives for betrayal:

new love. Characteristic of rational or forced marriages;

retribution for the betrayal of a spouse;

scolded love. In the absence of love on the part of the partner, look for it in another.

searching for a new love experience. It often occurs with a long history of married life or when trying to get everything from life.

replenishment If there are restrictions on the fullness of love in marriage (separation, illness, coldness of relationships)

total breakdown of the family.

Types of betrayal:

Casual extramarital contact. It can be either isolated or represent frequent contacts between people of a promiscuous type (frequent changes of partners without an emotional connection with them). Promiscuity is disordered sexual relationships. Little connection with a specific person.

Erotic and sexual adventures. Based on the desire for diversity. The erotic attractiveness of a partner, a variety of experiences, and sexual games are important. They can be brief, without mutual obligations, and can leave pleasant experiences. May not pose a threat to marriage.

Fornication. Characterized by long duration and emotional attachment. Forces you to lead a double life. (One short meeting lasted for several years.)

Reactions to betrayal:

Aggression. The partner breaks off the relationship, demands an end to the extramarital affair, and threatens divorce. Characteristic of a partner who is emotionally independent of the marriage. Forces the cheater to make a decision. If the connection with the family is maintained, this may lead to a break in the extramarital relationship.

Protection. Marital relations are partially terminated, mainly emotional relationships are limited. Joint housekeeping and sexual relations continue, various methods of retaining a partner are used (appearance, novelty of the relationship, leisure). A requirement may be presented to terminate the relationship within a certain period. Mention of an extramarital partner is avoided.

Ignoring. The partner pretends not to notice or that he is indifferent. Occurs in cases where the partner does not experience emotional attachment to the spouse, when maintaining the marriage is beneficial, when the relationship is destructive, when the spouse is dependent on the other.

life cycle families are a certain sequence of changing events and stages that any family goes through. Of course, a family may miss one or another stage of its development, for example, not having children, but some events are unchangeable, for example, a change in the physical age of people.

Conventionally, the life cycle of a family can be divided as follows:

1. Courtship period.

2. The phase of living of spouses without children (or the monad stage).

3. Family with a small child (or triad stage)

4. Stabilization or mature marriage phase

5. The phase in which children gradually leave home

6. The “empty nest” phase

7. The phase in which one of the partners remains alone after the death of the other.

Each phase of the family life cycle poses certain tasks for its members. A functional family is one that successfully copes with the external and internal tasks assigned to it. A dysfunctional family is one that cannot cope with these tasks. This is always a crisis and people do not see the possibility of adapting to a new situation or do not even accept it.

Courtship period

To successfully pass this phase, young people must resolve the following problems: achieving emotional and financial independence from their parents; developing skills in courtship and attracting a partner; occupation of age-appropriate status. This is a very important stage both for individual mental development and for the development of his future family.

The phase of living of spouses without children (or the monad stage)

This is the first crisis when people begin to live together and must agree on the rules by which this will happen. There are rules that are easy to develop, and some that are very difficult. The easiest way is to develop external rules (who washes the dishes and when, etc.). It is more difficult to develop rules related to deeper things (expectations from a spouse).

Family with a small child (or triad stage)

This is another crisis when the entire family structure is changing. There were two - but there were three. And again we need to negotiate, as new responsibilities and new roles have arisen. At this stage, one of the spouses may become jealous if he feels that the other partner is more attached to the child than to him. A problem of self-realization may arise for the mother, who will be jealous of her husband for the active lifestyle that she is now deprived of. There may be problems interacting with parents' families, as grandparents may want to influence what happens in the young family.

Stabilization phase

Usually this phase corresponds to the midlife crisis of the spouses. Midlife, as we know, is characterized by a combination of great opportunities and serious limitations. It seems that people have accumulated a lot of experience, received a certain social status, but it is no longer so easy to adapt to changing economic circumstances, it is difficult to change something, you have to “go with the flow” even when you don’t really like this current. Another typical family stress is caring for aging parents and coping with their death.

The phase in which children gradually leave home

The most serious crises a family experiences are when someone joins or leaves the family. Parents may suddenly find that they have nothing to talk about with each other. Or suddenly old disagreements and problems, the resolution of which was postponed due to the birth of children, become aggravated. During this period, the number of divorces increases.

The last stages of the family life cycle

Retirement can make the problem of being alone with each other even more acute. Often at this time the problem of caring for an old spouse arises.

Time passes, one of the spouses dies, and the life cycle of the family ends. The stage of the monad begins, only at a different age level.

Periodization of family development, the main psychological problems of each stage.

Consideration of the functions of the family and its structure showed that family relationships cannot be established immediately, that the family is not a static entity, it develops. Therefore, when discussing the concept of family, it is necessary to consider the periodization of the stages of its development.

Often such periodization is based on a change in the place of children in the family structure. For example, R. Neubert identifies the stages of living together, life after having children, raising children of high school age, separating children from their parents and raising grandchildren. A. Barkai singles out a family without children, a family with small children, a family with children attending kindergarten, a schoolchild’s family, a family in which the children are partly independent of their parents, a family that is abandoned by children.

The identification of stages may be related to the statistics of family crises. “It has been established,” write C. S. Gryzickas and N. V. Malyarova, “that during certain periods of change in the family life cycle, a tendency toward crises and conflicts appears.”

First crisis: conception, pregnancy and childbirth.

The second crisis: the beginning of the child’s acquisition of human speech.

Third crisis: the child establishes relationships with the external environment, most often this happens at school. Elements of another, school world, new both for parents and for the children themselves, penetrate into the family. Teachers usually play the same educational roles as parents, and this in turn requires adaptation on the part of both children and parents.

The fourth crisis: the child enters adolescence.

Fifth crisis: the child becomes an adult and leaves home in search of independence and independence. This crisis is often felt by parents as a loss.

The sixth crisis: young people get married, and the family includes daughters-in-law and sons-in-law.

The seventh crisis: the onset of menopause in a woman’s life.

Eighth crisis: decrease in sexual activity in men.

Ninth crisis: parents become grandparents. At this stage, many joys and problems await them.

Tenth crisis: one of the spouses dies, and then the second.

It is possible to identify certain stages of family development according to their corresponding tasks.

Premarital communication. On at this stage it is necessary to achieve partial psychological and material independence from the genetic family, gain experience in communicating with the other sex, choose a marriage partner, and gain experience in emotional and business interaction with him.

Marriage is the adoption of marital social roles. This stage is closely related to the next one, but the legal restrictions of marriage, the inclusion of relationships in a couple in the broader context of relationships already supported by each of the spouses, and the difficulties that arise in solving these problems, to overcome which often require professional psychological help, indicate that that this stage has features unique to it.

The "honeymoon" stage. This name may be too metaphorical, but it quite accurately reflects the emotional problems and tasks of activity that are solved at this stage. Among them, it should be noted the acceptance of changes in the intensity of feelings, the establishment of psychological and spatial distance with genetic families, the acquisition of experience in interaction in resolving issues of organizing the daily life of the family, the creation of intimacy, and the initial coordination of family roles.

Stage of a young family. Scope of the stage: decision on procreation - the wife’s return to professional activity or the child’s beginning to attend preschool. This stage is characterized by the division of roles associated with fatherhood and motherhood, and their coordination, material provision of new living conditions for the family, adaptation to large physical and psychological stress, to the limitation of the general activity of the spouses outside the family, to insufficient opportunity to be alone, etc. d.

A mature family, that is, a family that successfully fulfills its functions. The tasks of this stage are determined by the creation of a new structure of relations. If at the fourth stage the family was replenished with a new member, then at the fifth it is supplemented with a new person(s). The roles of parents change accordingly. Their ability to satisfy the child’s needs for care and safety must be complemented by the ability to educate and organize the child’s social connections. The stage ends when children achieve partial independence from the parental family. The emotional tasks of the stage can be considered solved when the psychological influence of children and parents on each other comes to balance, when all family members are conditionally autonomous.

A family of older people. At this stage, marital relations are resumed, new content is given to family functions (for example, the educational function is expressed by participation in raising grandchildren).

Schneider L.B. Psychology of family relationships. Lecture course. – M.: April-Press, EKSMO-Press Publishing House, 2000. – P. 144 - 178

Levels, types and psychological patterns of marital compatibility.

Compatibility means closeness, similarity or such a difference when characters and habits are not hostile, but complement each other.”

Compatibility Levels

Usually in the psychological literature there are 3-4 levels of compatibility. We find a lot of information on determining these levels in the works of N. N. Obozov.

Psychophysiological psychological; socio-psychological (family-role) $ socio-cultural.

“Comprehensive compatibility is very rare. Incomplete compatibility is much more common, and it is usually enough for a good relationship, if only you treat it with care.” Thus, a married couple is a union:

Household (function of consumption and consumer services);

Sexual (function of sexual satisfaction);

Psychological (the function of moral and emotional support, organizing leisure time and creating an environment for self-realization and personal development);

Family (function of giving birth and raising children).”

Psychophysical level of compatibility

“It goes beyond the scope of direct sexual contact. Therefore, for physiological communication, not only the purely sexual characteristics of partners (type of sexual constitution, sexual potential, etc.), but also physique characteristics, the reactivity of the body, psychodynamic characteristics of behavior, and appearance are important. The reason for this dissatisfaction is not sexual contact, but the form of erotic games, the manifestation of sexual interest, the appearance of the partner.”

Starmenbaum in his book “Love Against Loneliness” gives the following combinations of spouses’ personalities:

1. Woman-mother and little son. 2. Masculine woman. 3. Masochist and sadist. 4. Husband – father and daddy’s daughter.

Psychological level of compatibility

It involves combining the temperaments, characters, needs, and motives of behavior of the spouses.

“The compatibility of spouses is based on the possibility of jointly satisfying a number of basic needs in marriage (communication, cognition, material and role needs). The 5 most significant needs are:

1). The need of spouses to fulfill certain roles in the family: mother, father; husband, wife; owner, mistress; women, men; heads of the family, most of whom are new to those entering into marriage. One of the reasons for conflicts in the family is the divergence of spouses’ ideas about the fulfillment of family roles by each of them.

2). The need of spouses to communicate with each other and with friends.

a) marriage partners are considered as compatible or incompatible in terms of sociability - isolation. It is assumed that in the case of an asymmetry of these qualities, the sociability of one of the spouses may conflict with the autism of the other.

b) communication performs a very important psychotherapeutic function in the family. In communication based on empathy and mutual respect, spouses find support for their actions, moods, feelings, experiences, and receive emotional release. And, on the contrary, mutual alienation, disorganizing communication between spouses, creates in them a feeling of loneliness, insecurity, mutual dissatisfaction, provoking family conflicts.

3). Cognitive needs of spouses. Previous studies have shown that intellectual values ​​are most important to spouses.

4). Material needs, including the need for the joint acquisition of material assets necessary for the family and for ensuring well-being.

5). The need to protect the “I - concept” as a set of images of “I” that provide a person’s idea of ​​himself as a certain integrity and certainty, which arises not only on the basis of the individual’s perception, but also as a result of his perception by other people.

Family-role level of compatibility

We are talking about consistency in the distribution of family roles, about the burden each spouse takes on. This is the cooperation of marriage partners in the implementation of family functions. The modern family is characterized by the following functions: birth and primary socialization of children, economic support for the disabled, organization of household consumption, moral and emotional support, protection and representation of the family in front of the wider social environment, organization of leisure. The completeness and well-being of family life depends on the extent to which partners can ensure the fulfillment of all family functions.

Sociocultural level of compatibility

allows spouses to agree on the general direction and motivation of behavior. Spiritual communication between spouses allows them to coordinate their life positions, value orientations, views on the world around them and their place in it, interests and motives for social behavior. Spiritual compatibility manifests itself as a coincidence of the above-mentioned attitudes, assessments, and values. The most indicative signs of spiritual harmony are: high mutual understanding, approval of the partner’s life positions, high respect for him as a member of society.

19. Factors of family stability. Favorable climate (trust, high demands of family members towards others, love, responsibility). Main criteria for family psychological health: - similarity family values- functional-role consistency - social-role adequacy in the family - adaptability in microsocial decisions - emotional satisfaction - commitment to family well-being.

20. Structure and functions of the modern family. Family structure: 1. By composition: Nuclear - consists of husband, wife and their children (parents and children); Replenished (expanded) - a union increased in composition is a married couple and their children, and parents of other generations; Mixed family (rebuilt) – formed as a result of the breakdown of other marriages; Single parent family. Lichko Complete family (mother, father and their children) Incomplete (absence of one of the parents) Distorted (deformed) Presence of a stepfather or stepmother. FUNCTIONS: Educational – formation of the child’s personality, constant psychological and pedagogical influence of children on parents and other adult family members; Household – running your own household, having your own budget, organizing consumer activities, “household affairs”; Intellectual communication - spiritual intimacy, emotional contact, commonality of views and life values, special psychological closeness between spouses (family longevity) Psychological release - the presence of a psychological pattern of release in the family, emotional and psychological support by spouses each other, the ability to diversify free time from work, general dominant emotional states and general family interactivity. Recreational and psychotherapeutic is a sphere of absolute security, absolute acceptance of a person, regardless of his talents, life successes, or financial situation. Childbirth and sexual relations - the integrity of sexual needs, procreation.

21. Marital compatibility Spiritual – similarity, similarity in the spiritual ways of the spouses. Personal - similarity or addition of temperament, character, emotional-volitional spheres (conflict-free distribution of interpersonal roles) Family - everyday life - consistency of ideas about family functions, role expectations (the main criterion is the effectiveness of raising children). adaptation of spouses to others and to the environment in which the family is located; is expressed in the mutual similarity of the spouses and in the mutual coordination of thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Physiological – sexual satisfaction from physiological (intimate) intimacy.

22. Four aspects of marital compatibility, the need to separate which, in her opinion, is justified by the difference in their inherent criteria, patterns and manifestations: 1) spiritual compatibility - characterizes the consistency of the goal-setting components of the partners’ behavior: attitudes, value orientations, needs, interests, views, assessments, opinions, etc. (the main pattern of spiritual compatibility is the similarity, similarity of the spiritual ways of the spouses); 2) personal compatibility - characterizes the correspondence of the structural and dynamic characteristics of partners: properties of temperament, character, emotional-volitional sphere: one of the criteria for personal compatibility is a conflict-free distribution of interpersonal roles. The main pattern of this aspect of spouse compatibility is the complementarity of the structural characteristics of the partners; 3) family and household compatibility - functional characteristics of marriage partners: consistency of ideas about the functions of the family and the corresponding way of life, consistency of role expectations and claims in the implementation of these functions. The criterion is the effectiveness of raising children; 4) physiological compatibility. Signs of physical, including sexual, compatibility are the harmony of caresses between a man and a woman, physical contact, satisfaction from intimacy” (Obozov N.N.)

23. Psychological climate in the family determines the stability of family relationships and has a decisive influence on the development of both children and adults. It is not something immutable, given once and for all. It is created by members of each family and it depends on their efforts whether it will be favorable or unfavorable and how long the marriage will last. Thus, a favorable psychological climate is characterized by the following features: cohesion, the possibility of comprehensive development of the personality of each member, high benevolent demands of family members towards each other, a sense of security and emotional satisfaction, pride in belonging to one’s family, responsibility. In a family with a favorable psychological climate, each member treats the others with love, respect and trust, also with respect for parents, and with readiness to help the weaker at any moment. Important indicators of a favorable psychological climate of a family are the desire of its members to spend their free time in home circle , talk about topics that interest everyone, do homework together, emphasize the virtues and good deeds of everyone. Such a climate promotes harmony, reduces the severity of emerging conflicts, relieves stress, increases the assessment of one’s own social significance and realizes the personal potential of each family member. The initial basis for a favorable family climate is marital relationships. Living together requires spouses to be willing to compromise, to be able to take into account the needs of their partner, to give in to each other, and to develop such qualities as mutual respect and trust. When family members experience anxiety, emotional discomfort, and alienation, in this case they speak of an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. All this prevents the family from fulfilling one of its main functions - psychotherapeutic, relieving stress and fatigue, and also leads to depression, quarrels, mental tension, and a lack of positive emotions. If family members do not strive to change this situation for the better, then the very existence of the family becomes problematic. Psychological climate can be defined as a more or less stable emotional mood characteristic of a particular family, which is a consequence of family communication, that is, it arises as a result of the totality of the mood of family members, their emotional experiences and worries, attitudes towards each other, towards other people, towards work, to surrounding events. It is worth noting that the emotional atmosphere of the family is an important factor in the effectiveness of the life functions of the family, the state of its health as a whole, it determines the stability of the marriage. Many Western researchers believe that in modern society the family is losing its traditional functions, becoming an institution of emotional contact, a kind of “psychological refuge.” Domestic scientists also emphasize the increasing role of emotional factors in family functioning. V. S. Torokhtiy speaks about the psychological health of the family and that this is “an integral indicator of the dynamics of vital functions for it, expressing the qualitative side of the socio-psychological processes occurring in it and, in particular, the ability of the family to withstand the undesirable influences of the social environment,” is not identical to the concept of “socio-psychological climate”, which is more applicable to groups (including small ones) of heterogeneous composition, which more often unite their members on the basis of professional activities and the availability of ample opportunities for them to leave the group, etc. d. For a small group that has family ties that ensure stable and long-term psychological interdependence, where the closeness of interpersonal intimate experiences is maintained, where the similarity of value orientations is especially significant, where not one, but a number of family goals are simultaneously identified, and the flexibility of their priority and targeting is maintained, where the main condition for its existence is integrity - the term “psychological health of the family” is more acceptable.

LLC "Infourok"

Abstract on the discipline: “Pedagogy”

On this topic:

“Family as a subject of pedagogical interaction

and sociocultural environment of education and personal development"

Executor:

Lapteva Tatyana Yurievna

Smolensk 2018

Introduction 2

Family: concepts of family definition, stages of family development, types of families 5

Fundamentals of family pedagogy 8

Psychological and pedagogical methods of working with families

child 11

Conclusion 15

Bibliography 16

Introduction

There are many approaches to interpreting the concept of "family". So in the “Dictionary of the Russian Language” by S.I. Ozhegova “family” means an association of persons related by kinship or marriage. In the G.I. Dictionary Knyazkova defines “family” as “a type of social community, the most important form of organizing personal life, based on marital union and family ties, that is, on numerous relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters and other relatives living together and leading a common household." A.G. In his research, Kharchev considers the family as “a small social group based on marriage or consanguinity, whose members are connected by a common life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance.”

“family” is transformed following sociocultural changes in society. A family can also mean a parent couple or one parent with at least one child. The family is the initial structural unit of society in which the foundations of personality are laid. It unites spouses, children and parents, including several generations at the same time.

The family performs important socially significant functions in relation to society and to the individual.
The main functions in relation to society are the following:
- physical reproduction of the population;

educational function - transfer of knowledge, skills, norms, values, spiritual reproduction;

production and economic.

In the process of upbringing within a family, a child has the opportunity to develop normally: timely learn the rules of communication with the outside world, learn to recognize positive and negative norms of behavior, and form personal ideals. The lack of family upbringing does not give the child the opportunity to correctly form his own life criteria and choose an independent line of behavior. The family, as a subject of pedagogical education, bears great responsibility for the education of future full-fledged members of society. Children adopt the pattern of behavior of their parents, their worldview. Parents must understand that only diverse communication makes the upbringing process complete, and the role of the family in raising a child is of paramount importance. The value of the family itself, family values ​​and ideals should have a special place in society. Analyzing the concept of “family”, it is impossible not to touch upon the very concept of “parenthood”, which is understood as a separately functioning subsystem, which has its own stages of development, which is located in the determining family system and is considered in two forms: fatherhood and motherhood. Parents are the first social environment for a child’s development, ensuring the satisfaction of almost all of his needs, including love and affection. The need for parental love is one of the most powerful and long-lasting human needs; a child of any age needs it. Maternal and paternal love are components of the holistic phenomenon of parental love. The influence of parents (usually mothers) on mental development the child has been closely studied since the 20s of the twentieth century. Parental love has innate biological components, but overall parental attitude to a child is a cultural and historical phenomenon, a historically changeable phenomenon that is influenced social norms and values.

Purpose of the abstract : studying the family as an important subject of pedagogical interaction, identifying the characteristics of the sociocultural specifics of different families, searching for the most effective pedagogical methods when working with a family raising a child.

1. Family: concepts of family definition, stages of family development, types of families.

Family accompanies a person throughout his life.Family- this is a special kind of collective that plays the main, long-term and vital role. This is one of the most accurate definitions of family from a pedagogical point of view.

The family can also be defined as a sociocultural factor: a union of a man and a woman, bound by certain obligations to raise children and solve everyday problems. The family is focused on educating the spiritual and universal values ​​of the younger generation. The family, as a subject of pedagogy, can be considered from several sides, since family life is characterized by multilateral relationships: socio-biological, moral, psychological, economic and economic. Each stage in the development of a family is associated with the loss of some functions and the emergence of others, with a change in the scale and nature of the social activities of its members.

The question of classification, typology of families is very important, because the presence of such a classification makes it easier for a person to find others like himself in countless families in order to borrow experience in organizing life, by analogy with them, to most successfully solve his problems. This question is very complex, so there is no strict typology of the family yet.

Families are distinguished according to the following parameters:

1. According to the marital experience of the spouses. Families are distinguished here:

Newlyweds family;

Young family;

Family expecting a child;

Family of middle married age;

Family of older married age;

Elderly couples.

2. Based on the number of children, the following types of families are distinguished:

Childless (infertile) families.

One child family.

The large family.

3. By family composition:

Single-parent family - when there is only one parent with children in the family.

Separate, simple family(nuclear). It is formed by spouses with or without children, living separately from their parents.

Complex family(extended) - consists of representatives of several generations.

Big family, consisting of three or more married couples (parental couple and several children with their families).

4. By type of family leadership. There are two main types of family:

Egalitarian (equal) family. The distribution of household responsibilities here is carried out democratically, depending on who is better at one or another job. There is no struggle for power because the spouses are focused on the interests of the family and do not seek to command each other;

An authoritarian family based on the unquestioning obedience of one family member to another. Of the total mass of families, according to some data, one sixth are families of the matriarchal type, and one eighth are of the patriarchal type. Families of this type are quite often torn apart by the struggle for power and are therefore full of all kinds of conflicts, most often small ones.

5. By homogeneity of social composition:

Socially homogeneous (homogeneous). In these families, the husband and wife and their parents belong to the same strata of society: they are all workers or all employees.

Socially heterogeneous (diverse). Their spouses have different educations, different professions, common interests the production plan here is usually much smaller

6. According to the quality of family relationships:

Prosperous;

Sustainable;

Problematic;

Conflict;

Socially disadvantaged;

Disorganized families.

7. By type of consumer behavior:

With a physical bias, where problems of biological existence usually come first: food, clothing occupy all the interests of family members not because of its poverty, but because of the level of significance of these values ​​for them;

With an intellectual type of behavior - these families in terms of material security may not differ at all from the first type of family, but their members much more often prefer to have a good book than a tasty dish;

Mixed type a family in which interests, material and even physiological needs are harmoniously combined with spiritual interests.

8. For special conditions of family life:

Student life.

Distant families.

Of course, the above list does not exhaust all types of families. The patriarchal family is of greatest interest. Each family has certain norms of behavior, its own values, traditions, and if a person relies on the norms, values ​​and opinions of his family members, then it acts as a reference (significant) group with which he relates himself as standard. The family, as a reference group, has two main functions - normative and comparative, the fulfillment of which is important both for society and for family members; it contributes to the satisfaction of social needs. As a consequence of the family’s failure to fulfill, to varying degrees, its basic functions, determined according to generally accepted criteria within the framework of prevailing value systems, crisis and disorganization arise.

Each family develops and is formed according to its own scenario, but the absolute immutable influence of parents in early childhood the subsequent development of personality is undeniable, since only a parent is capable of providing the entire complex of relationships and satisfying the need for love in the first years of a child’s life.

2.Fundamentals of family pedagogy

So, we looked at the various concepts of defining a family, the stages of family development, as well as types of families. Next, we move on to consider the foundations of family pedagogy.

The main object of direct action of the family is, of course, children; let’s now talk about who a child is in the system of the family institution.

The first task of parents is to find a common solution and convince each other. If a compromise has to be made, it is imperative that the basic requirements of the parties are satisfied. When one parent makes a decision, he must remember the position of the other.

The second task is to make sure that the child does not see contradictions in the positions of the parents, i.e. It is better to discuss these issues without him.

The concepts of “family”, “parenthood”, “family upbringing” are inextricably interconnected. In the psychological and pedagogical literature, there are at least three groups of approaches to family education, which can be roughly called: psychoanalytic; behaviorist; humanistic.

The style of relationship between a parent and a child turns out to be not only a means of maintaining contact with him, but also a unique method of parenting through relationships.

Communication with parents in the early years, their influence on ways to resolve typical age-related contradictions, conflicts and failures of adaptation affect later, manifesting themselves as characteristic problems in an adult. Negative childhood experiences lead to infantilism, self-centeredness, and increased aggressiveness, which constitute personal preconditions for difficulties in fulfilling one’s own parental role and for later rejection of one’s own child.

The behaviorist model of family education is based on the fact that the development of the human psyche depends mainly on the social environment and living conditions, that is, the stimuli supplied by the environment: the child’s immediate environment, the environment consisting of specific life situations. Hence the main thing is the special organization of the child’s environment. Parental behavior- mainly a model for extracting some common features, rules of behavior, a role model for a child in trying to build his own behavior. Reinforcement is necessary to maintain behavior that has emerged from imitation.

The humanistic approach considers a person, first of all, as a social being, whose development occurs through the prism of social relations. Family atmosphere, attitudes, values, mutual respect among family members and healthy love parents contribute to the development of broad social interests in the child. Education is considered not only from the point of view of benefits for the individual family and the child, but also as an activity of parents that influences the state of society as a whole.

Researchers have observed a certain correspondence between certain types of upbringing and types of destructive, deviant, and deviant behavior.

Overprotection - children are deprived of acting independently and overcoming obstacles. This leads to an inferiority complex and is expressed in low self-esteem. Presentation of exorbitant demands can have various shades: for example, a slave psychology can develop (in relation to people with power) or a desire for unlimited power over others. A guilt complex may develop. Unpredictable emotional reactions on the part of parents, prone to unexpected changes in mood and attitude towards children. This leads to the formation of self-doubt, which gradually becomes a character trait and is subsequently projected onto relationships with other people. The result is conflictual relationships, lack of faith in the stability of friendship, marriage, etc.

Hypoprotection is insufficient attention to children. Formed in single-parent families, where children are left to their own devices. The development of personality is delayed, the spiritual sphere of the child is not formed, and the will is poorly developed. Hypoprotection - the lack of necessary care for a child leads to the formation of asociality and unpredictability.

Dominant hyperprotection is excessive, obsessive care for a child, blocking his independence and initiative.

Indulging hyperprotection is the desire of parents to satisfy all the needs and whims of the child, assigning him the role of a family idol. Leads to the formation of incontinence in negative emotions and difficulties in communication. Emotional rejection- rejection of the child in all its manifestations, which leads to the formation of cruelty and difficulties in communication. Abusive relationships can manifest themselves overtly in the form of beatings, or covertly in the form of emotional hostility and coldness. In terms of family psychological health, there are two main types of families.

Prosperous - their problems, as a rule, are caused by internal contradictions and conflicts, which are associated with: an excessive desire to protect each other, to help other family members (“indulgent, pandering hyperprotection” and “excessive care”); with the inadequacy of the correlation of one’s own ideas about the family and the social requirements that are presented to it at this stage social development(difficulties in perceiving the contradictions of modern society).

Dysfunctional type (problematic, conflict, crisis families): psychological problems arise due to the dissatisfaction of the needs of one or more family members. The main problem, as a rule, is the child’s position in the family and attitude towards him.

The consequence of family dysfunction is the growth of socio-psychological maladaptation of children and adolescents, which is understood as the inability of an individual to adequately respond to the demands placed on him, which are based on expectations that correspond to his social status and the place it occupies in a specific system of existing interpersonal relationships. Social maladaptation manifests itself in violations of moral and legal norms, asocial forms of behavior and deformation of the internal regulation system, reference and value orientations, and social attitudes.

3. Psychological and pedagogical methods of working with a child’s family

Before moving on to characterizing the main forms and methods of working with students’ parents, it is necessary to dwell on identifying some psychological and pedagogical rules for such interaction and ways to establish contacts with the family.
1.Work with families and the public should be based on actions and activities aimed at strengthening and increasing the authority of parents. A moralizing, edifying, categorical tone is intolerable in the work of a class teacher, as it can be a source of resentment, irritation, and awkwardness. The need for parents to consult after the categorical “should” and “obligated” disappears. Most often, parents know their responsibilities, but not everyone’s upbringing in practice turns out the way it should be. It is important for them to know not only what to do, but also how to do it. Only correct rate The relationship between teachers and parents is mutual respect. Then the forms of control become exchange of experience, advice and joint discussion, a single solution that satisfies both parties. The value of such relationships is that they develop both teachers and parents a sense of personal responsibility, exactingness, and civic duty.
2. Trust in educational opportunities parents, increasing the level of their pedagogical culture and activity in education. Psychologically, parents are ready to support all the demands, activities and initiatives of the school. Even those parents who do not have pedagogical training and high education treat the upbringing of children with deep understanding and responsibility.
3. Pedagogical tact, inadmissibility of careless interference in family life. No matter what the family is, no matter what kind of educators the parents are, you must always be tactful and friendly.
4. A life-affirming attitude in solving problems of upbringing, reliance on the positive qualities of the child, on the strengths of family upbringing, focus on successful development personality.

The formation of a student's character is not without difficulties, contradictions and surprises. At the same time, it is important that if this is perceived as a manifestation of the laws of development (its unevenness and spasmodic nature, strict cause-and-effect conditionality, the selective nature of the relationship of the child being brought up to educational influences, the measure of verbal and practical methods of influence), then the complexities, contradictions, unexpected results do not cause confusion for the teacher. Pedagogical consultations- common form individual work. Unfortunately, parental involvement often decreases noticeably as students move from grade to grade. The consultation is based on answers to parents' questions. The psychological and pedagogical foundations of consultation are: teachers’ approving attitude towards parents’ initiative; expression of readiness to provide assistance to the family; specific recommendations and advice on questions that parents may have. The family makes a known contribution to the formation of the psychological characteristics of the child’s gender, which include a certain set of character traits, behavioral characteristics, attitudes, emotional reactions etc. The family is the main source of practical learning and experience of family life, raising a person as a family man. In it, as experience shows, the child is born with moral and emotional values ​​necessary for future family life - marital feelings, paternal and maternal, filial and daughterly affections. From the example of her mother, a girl receives her first lessons in femininity, and a boy, from the example of his father, learns masculinity. The best pedagogical position, as experience shows, which both parents should strive for, is the recognition of the child as an individual, as an equal member of the family, and the development in him of a realistic sense of his own importance. At the same time, perhaps, respect for his individuality is especially necessary. The best way to influence is explanation, not imposition or coercion. In this case, the child will know what is expected of him and understand that he is able to meet these expectations.

Methods of family education can be divided into two groups: methods of everyday communication, confidential interaction and methods of pedagogical and psychological impact on the child in order to correct his consciousness and behavior.

Psychological, including social and psychological support and correction. The support is aimed at creating a favorable microclimate in the family during a short-term crisis. Correction of interpersonal relationships occurs mainly when there is mental violence against a child in the family, leading to disruption of his neuropsychic and physical state.

Intermediary, including assistance in organization, coordination and information.

Assistance in organizing is aimed at organizing family leisure. Assistance in coordination is aimed at activating various departments and services in order to jointly resolve the problems of a particular family and the situation of a particular child.

Information assistance is aimed at providing families with information on social protection issues. It is carried out in the form of counseling. Questions may relate to housing, family and marriage, labor, civil, pension legislation, as well as the rights of children, women, people with disabilities and problems that exist within the family.

Let us dwell in more detail on the main forms of working with families. One of these forms is social patronage - visiting a family at home with diagnostic, control, adaptation - rehabilitation purposes, allowing you to establish and maintain long-term connections with the family, promptly identifying its problematic situations, and providing immediate assistance. Patronage provides the opportunity to observe a family in its natural conditions, which allows one to reveal more information than lies on the surface.

Along with patronage, individual and consulting conversations with parents should be highlighted.

The advantage of an individual conversation is that parents talk more openly about their problems in family relationships. During individual conversations, it is necessary to adhere to the main rule: the content of an individual conversation should be the property of only those talking, it should not be disclosed. You should be very attentive to your parents' requests. You can refuse to fulfill a request only if its implementation could harm the child.

Counseling sessions are primarily intended to help people who are having difficulty solving life problems. In your work you should use the most common counseling techniques: emotional contagion, suggestion, persuasion, artistic analogies, mini-trainings.

Individual communication not only makes it possible to influence parents, but also, in turn, largely helps him in choosing the right approach to the children.

Group forms of work with families include meetings of parents, collective consultations, conversations, lectures, conferences, group trainings, speeches to parents and children, preparation and participation in extracurricular and extracurricular activities.

The plan includes family activities such as organizing excursions to various enterprises at the parents’ place of work. As well as organizing excursions and walks around the city in order to introduce children to the enterprises and institutions of the city, the products they produce, holding conversations about professions and their benefits for people.

Group methods of work give parents the opportunity to exchange experiences with each other, ask questions and strive to gain support and approval in the group, and try on the role of a leader. This allows parents to develop activity and confidence.

Another form of working with families is socio-pedagogical monitoring of the family. This is a scientifically based system of periodic collection, generalization and analysis of socio-pedagogical information about the processes occurring in the family, and making strategic and tactical decisions on this basis. The essence of family monitoring is the integrated use of all sources of data on the processes and events of family life, both natural in nature and obtained in the course of a specially organized study.

The forms and methods of working with parents are varied, and the main thing when choosing a particular method of working with a family is to take into account both the circumstances of the specific social situation in the family, including the characterological traits of all its members, the tactics of family education, and the features of the system of working with the family as a whole.

Conclusion

We can conclude that for effective family education it is necessary to form among the parents themselves a pedagogically appropriate focus on constant communication with their own children.

For successful family upbringing, it is also necessary to establish certain priorities in the distribution of family responsibilities: this helps to develop in children such qualities as responsibility for the assigned work, hard work, and willingness to come to the aid of their neighbors, which in the future will be very important in the process of socialization of the individual. In this regard, there is no doubt about the need to include children in family life through involvement in work, participation in the preparation of family holidays, and joint leisure; nurturing in children the ability to be attentive, caring, to understand the mood of loved ones, and nurturing such qualities is preparing children for life in society, for fulfilling the functions of parents in the future.

The influence of the family on the development of a growing person at different stages does not remain the same. The family is the only pedagogical system, the influence of which a person experiences throughout his life. The family, with its value orientations, characteristics of interpersonal relationships, the whole way of life and lifestyle, directly or indirectly, to a greater or lesser extent, not only influences the formation of the child’s personality, but also prepares the child for his future family life, because the family shares its educational function with others social systems and institutions: the stronger the relationship and continuity between family education and public education, the more significant its result.

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