There are everyday concepts of male logic. Female male logic. How female logic works

As the author of one famous book on relationships wrote, men and women are creatures with different planets... And indeed it is! Couples who live together are especially sensitive to gender differences in the way they think. Indeed, sometimes quarrels or misunderstandings arise literally over trifles.

How to understand loved one? How to learn to communicate in the same language? To do this, you first need to understand the features of male and female logic.

Induction and deduction

Let's start with how women think. The most main feature female logic is inductance... That is, in their reasoning, girls usually raise any particular situation to the rank of a kind of "eternal laws". Classic examples of this are phrases such as: "He does not devote time to me at all" or "We never go anywhere." In cases where the reason for such generalizations is only one or several similar incidents.

It is precisely because of the tendency of women to generalize and somewhat simplify situations that many men find it difficult to understand them. As a result, only quarrels and resentments come out. Since most often in male eyes reproaches from loved ones look completely unfounded. It is difficult for gentlemen to accept the fact that for one offense the other half is ready to cross out all the old signs of attention.

Also, the brain strong half humanity is accustomed to acting in a completely different way. Male thinking closest deductive method... This means that they, on the contrary, move from the general to the particular. For example, for most guys it will be absolutely natural to think: "If all girls love perfume, then mine will definitely like such a gift." And then the turn comes fair half of humanity to be offended. After all, almost every woman on Earth, no matter what nationality she is and no matter what worldview she adheres to, will not allow her to be compared with others.

All girls want to be special and unique. Especially for their soul mates. That's why masculine way thinking also quite often becomes a reason for quarrels.

Belief in intuition

Another feature of women's thinking, over which the stronger sex has been puzzling for centuries, is intuitiveness... That is, the ability to draw conclusions based on premonitions or guesses. Girls sometimes themselves cannot explain how they came to this or that conclusion. But at the same time, in many cases, intuition works. And while for men this seems to be something akin to witchcraft or alchemy, for the fairer sex this logic is quite natural.

Intuitive thinking really has nothing to do with magic. This is just the ability to subconscious level use your life experience and accumulated knowledge for decision making. Therefore, this approach sometimes helps even in cases where it is impossible to find a way out using ordinary logic.

However, intuitive logic has its drawbacks. In some situations, women take the usual outburst of emotions or unfounded guesses for a premonition. And it can do a lot of harm to any relationship.

We speak different languages

Sometimes, even in a simple conversation, it is difficult for men and women to understand each other. It would seem that they use the same language and understandable words. So what's the problem? The essence of the misunderstanding is that men in everyday conversations are focused on understanding words in their direct meaning... If they say a lot, it means a lot. Whereas women can exaggerate, use metaphors and comparisons.

It is important for the beautiful half of humanity to convey their experiences and emotions in a conversation. After all, women are more open and much more often than men talk about their feelings. And most importantly, they are able to perceive information based on sensations, and not on rational judgments. Therefore, for them, the clarity and clarity of remarks usually remains in second place. Women rarely focus on conveying facts with 100% accuracy. They need to speak out, throw out emotions that overwhelm.

For men, the main thing is information received... They are interested in the very essence. So, no matter what the speech is about, the most important thing for a representative of the stronger sex is to accurately formulate his thought, to choose the correct and capacious words. It is for this reason that they can rarely correctly understand women's statements: "NOBODY loves me!" or "I'm tired of EVERYTHING at my job!" A representative of the strong half of humanity will surely perceive the words "nobody" and "everything" in their direct meaning, while the woman did not mean it at all.

What is the reason for our differences?

More recently, scientists have discovered interesting fact... It turns out that men are more developed right hemisphere the brain, and in women - the left. Although earlier it was considered the opposite. That is why the representatives of the stronger and weaker sex are so different.

The right hemisphere is responsible for abstract thinking, orientation in space and for emotions. Whereas the left is for communication, analytical thinking and memory. Therefore, women are more talkative and focused on creating different kinds of relationships. Whereas men, due to their emotionality, are more action-oriented and competitive. All the main differences between women and men follow from these features.

How to avoid quarrels and misunderstandings?

Despite all gender characteristics, men and women cannot live apart. After all they complement each other... However, sometimes differences become an obstacle to creating strong and harmonious relationship... What to do in this case?

Knowledge will become the main weapon against misunderstanding. Indeed, most often quarrels occur due to the fact that one or both partners do not know anything about male and female differences. This means that they hope for the kind of behavior that they might expect from themselves.

By studying the peculiarities of the psychology of the opposite sex, everyone can become a little more tolerant of their other half. The main thing is to learn to understand what is necessary for this or that person in each situation. And also put yourself in the place of a loved one or beloved.

Life story: “My girlfriend and I met when I smashed the wing of her old nine. She was in terrible anger. And then we went to my house for money for repairs, and somehow it turned out that she stayed with me. Now I drive the twisted "nine", and she drives my Volkswagen.
Like this men's logic, thanks to which great scientific discoveries are made and millennial empires are created, gives way to the naive female cunning at home. What is it? The original and hopeless opposition of creatures from different planets, dissenting towards each other? Or is it just the ancient division of the spheres of influence in the world?

Modern scientists are leaning towards the second option. They found out that in every woman, both psychologically and physiologically, the rudiments of the male are present, and vice versa. It means that male qualities can develop in a woman, and women - in a man, under favorable conditions for this. For example, for elevated level testosterone (male hormone) in women, memory improves, the ability to solve logical tasks, topographic thinking develops. Whereas with the normal predominance of estrogens (female hormones) in the body, any woman has a slight topographic cretinism. So the differences between female and male mind for all its obviousness, most likely, they are conditional and determined by hormonal balance, as well as family education and social function.

Indeed, in life there are many men who have a purely feminine intuition, infantilism, emotionality. Most often they can be found in the world. creative professions, among musicians, poets, artists. To create, you need strong feelings, emotions, developed imagination, creative thinking... Of people with these feminine qualities are called right hemisphere. They, for all their talent, achieve success if they are near strong shoulder producer, executive director, in general, a pusher performing male duties on organizing the activities of a genius. These are the so-called left hemisphere. Now they may well be women. Yes, in contrast to the gentle poets, a class of iron ladies appeared, insensitive in making tough decisions, unbending like a rock! Nothing personal just business!

What is the difference between female and male minds in the new world, where a man can be an affectionate nanny and wash diapers, and a woman can be a director? The same as in antiquity, only without a rigid reference to gender.

Schematically, the mind can be described by its four components:

1) Thinking
2) Solving life tasks
3) Forecasting
4) Using ready-made solutions

Thinking

Thinking like a man means thinking logically: if - then. The male mind is objective and dispassionate. Focused on decisions and actions. The woman's mind is focused on experience. Therefore, when they talk about thinking, they still mean male type thinking, logical. Feminine thinking is called emotional because of the interconnectedness of feelings and thoughts.

For example, in the event of a catastrophe, men plan and carry out operations to rescue victims, calculate losses and develop methods to deal with the consequences. Women cry, empathize, help the wounded and hungry, console the suffering.

The man thinks in silence. It is typical for him to think, decide - say. His speech will be clear, thesis, orderly. The woman thinks speaking. She clarifies the topic and conclusions for herself and formulates for the listener in the process of speaking. Therefore, her speech is like a spontaneous stream of water, then stormy, then smooth, with various branches, streams, with dangerous pools, quiet creeks and bays.

With all the absence of visible logic, female speech always has a meaning and an ultimate goal. This is either enjoying the process itself, or an attempt to attract attention to oneself, or an idea to get something more substantial from the listener. All women are great masters of NLP. They are mermaids, sirens. They will laugh, tickle, talk, induce such a trance that the protective vigilance of the most logical man will be blown up, and he will do everything that he is not explicitly asked to do.

In general, both types of thinking, if applied in the right time v the right place can be quite successful. The woman physicist at the international symposium will be in the highest degree logical and evidence-based. And politics to calm the people in hard times, we have to become a soporific siren: "This is very good, that while we are bad!"

Solving life tasks

Boys from childhood are accustomed to solve their problems on their own. They shouldn't cry, complain, ask. They must be able to stand up for themselves. They must be courageous and find the right solutions in any difficult situations. They are boys named Mogu.

Girls also know from childhood: you want to get new doll- you need to flatter your dad or mom. They are girls named "I want."

Only the scenery changes with age. Male competition is being transferred from the courtyard to the business sphere. A female ability to manipulation develops in accordance with life aspirations. For this, there is no need to strain your own brains. You need to inspire your man to achieve.

This coexistence of the two types of thinking can be peaceful and creative, or it can be a real curse.

An unloving mercantile woman is able to make of a man an eternal snatch, a machine for making money, a slave of love, who has forgotten himself and his dreams and goals, who has dedicated his life to his troglodyte queen. A man with such a regime quickly develops and grows old, and a stupid clever woman cries like an old Pushkin woman at a broken trough.

And vice versa, in harmonious couples, a woman will be a muse for her beloved, he is inspired by her and is realized in his vocation. This means it will become successful. And the wife successful man Is a woman who has released herself. In such a relationship, the symbiosis of male and female mind beautiful and creative.

Forecasting

A man in his thinking is more of a strategist. A woman is a tactician who acts intuitively, according to sudden circumstances.

Long-term predictions of any event require a balanced, analytical approach. A man climbs the ladder of his logic step by step. And so, step by step, abstracting from the emotions that distort the facts, he comes to correct decision... And there ... a woman is often already waiting for him. How did she get there ?! In what mysterious ways? It cannot be explained clearly. On the wings of feelings - positive or angry, it doesn't matter.

The correct forecast of a man has been worked out. The woman's prediction that came true is miraculous.

Use of ready-made solutions

Men show will and consistency in the implementation of their decisions. And for a woman who decides to lose weight on Friday, it doesn't cost anything to overeat cakes on Sunday. She changes the rules as the game progresses - weekends don't count!

Of course, at work, she turns on her head and behaves according to the requirements of the leadership. But he willingly uses the switch at any convenient moment. With her brain turned off, she again becomes herself - feeling, impulsive, unpredictable.

In the "on" mode, a woman can be quite competitive among men in achieving work goals. It will be consistent and logical. And quite objective. But it is not natural state needed only for tactically important
moments, easily and naturally transferred to the "off" state - then goodbye reason, hello will!

Who is smarter after all?

The dispute has been going on for a long time and so far no one has won, despite the fact that a woman's brain is 200 g lighter than a man's.
And the truth is somewhere nearby. If you stop arguing, then you can find advantages in both types of thinking, to master both. And to become not left-brain or right-brain, but to gain integrity. This kind of thinking was called transcendental by Carl Gustav Jung. And he thought he was a genius.

Men and women speak the same language, but sometimes it is very difficult for them to understand each other. The reason is that they think differently. Each of them has its own logic. Male system thinking is rational, it is based on causal relationships: "If - a condition, Then - the result." The man reasons and draws conclusions from the initial data. Feminine logic can be called emotional, or intuitive. Sometimes a woman herself cannot explain why she acted in one way or another. However, intuition helps her to find correct exit in such difficult situations, when attempts to solve the problem rationally lead to a dead end.

The "sixth sense" replaces the individual, missing links in the logical chain. A woman may not be aware of them, but, nevertheless, take them into account in the decision-making process. Thanks to intuition, a woman is able to do the right choice in conditions of lack of information. For example, a wife does not let her husband go on a business trip because of bad feeling... The plane on which he was supposed to fly crashes. Intuition told the woman that trouble would happen, although she would not be able to justify it logically.

What else is the difference?

For mental activity men are characterized by a deductive method - from the general to the particular. For women - inductive: from particular to general. For example, a man thinks like this: "All girls love flowers, which means that mine will be glad to receive such a gift." And the woman: “A guy cheated on me. So all the guys are womanizers. "

Women are more prone to false generalizations, oversimplification and extremes. It is difficult for them to comprehend the entire space of options, so they strive to reduce the phenomena to "zero" or "infinity". In a conversation, this is manifested by the use of words such as "all", "always", "eternal", "nobody", "nothing", "never". For example, if a husband works a lot and does not often go to the cinema or theater with her, a woman may say: “We don't go anywhere, I always sit at home alone.” A textbook example: “I have absolutely nothing to wear,” while all the wardrobes are literally full of clothes. What the woman really means is that she has no new clothes, or that she has gained weight or lost weight, so there is an urgent need to update her wardrobe. She simply does not mention this as something self-evident, and it seems to the man that her words are devoid of any logic.

Men have more developed abstract thinking, since they mainly have to solve strategic problems. Women are by nature tactics and focus on specific issues... Signs and symbols are primary for them. In an unfamiliar area, a man finds his way on a map, a woman - according to landmarks known to her (“turn left behind the school”). A man can think of himself as rich with a certain income or a tidy bank account. For women, the concept of wealth is inextricably linked with the possession of certain things, such as a fur coat, jewelry, a car, an apartment. At the same time, a woman can go into debt and save on food in order to buy "status" things and prove to herself and others that she is rich. For a man, the content determines the form; for a woman, it is the form that is important.

When solving problems in physics or mathematics, a woman operates with templates, ready-made formulas, substituting data into them. The man comes from inner understanding the essence of the phenomena and, if necessary, is able to derive formulas and theories himself.

But the differences between masculine and feminine logic are most evident in the controversy.

For a man entering into a discussion, main goal is the establishment of the truth. To do this, he selects and builds a clear system of evidence. A man is ready to admit that his opponent is right if his arguments prove to be more convincing. The vanquished will also enjoy the truth found, so both participants in the controversy will benefit. For a woman, finding out the truth is secondary, the main thing is victory in an argument. She is absolutely sure of her own rightness, and she picks up arguments more or less spontaneously. A woman is able to recognize the point of view of another as true only if she feels inner strength enemy and his firm conviction. The opponent's arguments do not matter for her of particular importance... Personal relationships are much more important. She can perceive criticism and, in general, any attempt by the opponent to start an argument for expressing hostility, and a concession on his part - for showing sympathy or love.

In any conversation or dispute, the emotional component is primary for a woman. A loud voice and repeated confident repetition of the same arguments, from her point of view, should certainly bring the desired success. In an extreme case, a woman is ready to use her main weapon - tears, as an undeniable proof of her innocence.

Women are much more likely than men to use dishonest techniques of sophistry, such as substitution of concepts and subject matter, transition to personalities and personal qualities. For example, a woman may refuse to attend a movie with a famous actor because she does not like his name or he was born under a zodiac sign she does not like. She might call Tchaikovsky a bad composer because of his unconventional sexual orientation though it has nothing to do with his music. Often women use the "ladies' argument" - they oppose their opinion to the most ridiculous of opposing solutions question, after which the opponent is asked to make a choice.

Why were you talking to my friend so rudely? He was very embarrassed.

Was I supposed to fall on my knees and pray for him?

Women perceive silence as a sign of agreement, while a man may take a break to consider objections.

The difference in the way of thinking between men and women is due to their nature. Since ancient times, the main tasks of a man have been to understand the essence of things, the development of new territories and the provision of food for his family. To do this, he needs to think in abstract terms. The main function of a woman is raising children and maintaining the hearth. She must distinguish shades of emotions and use intuition to understand why a child is crying, who still cannot coherently explain what is wrong with him.

It should be noted that there is no deep gulf between male and female logic. Although it is much more difficult for a man to understand the reasoning of an average woman than it is for a woman to understand his logical constructions.

The education system and science are based on masculine thought patterns, so that women are taught them from childhood and are able to solve problems with their help if necessary. But at the first opportunity, they return to their natural state, in which they perceive the world through the prism of feelings, emotions and sensations. Men and women think differently, but they perfectly complement each other and can cope with any problems together.

As for the logic of mathematical, professional or everyday life, then I do not see any fundamental differences between masculine and feminine logic... Having the same data for analysis, having the same knowledge, both a man and a woman will come to the same conclusions. Provided the same, of course.

In general and on average, the level of intelligence in men and women is approximately the same. The fundamental difference was beautifully formulated by Edward Trondike: “Despite the fact that male and female types are very similar to each other with regard to mental ability, there is one important difference with respect to deviation from general norm... Highest standing man in any ability is more gifted than a woman, and the low masculine type is lower than all females. Therefore, among men there are more outstanding minds but also twice as many idiots. "

I would it fundamental difference defined a little differently: the gradation of mental abilities in men is greater - from geniuses to complete idiots. For women, this gradation is noticeably less, therefore there are very few geniuses among women, but there are practically no complete idiots.

Again, this observation confirms once again my thought about the characteristics of male and female nature- "to know the essence of things" and "to ensure the continuation of life." Men are more vulnerable in their striving, while women are more resilient. Men, in order to get to the depths, focus their attention narrowly. Women always keep in mind wide field because this is how they are the most resistant and least vulnerable. Women can do several things at the same time without prejudice to the case. For men, this does not work out - either the business suffers, or the depth is not achieved, or the results do not bring satisfaction.

However, let's ask the question, why do we need logic at all? That's right - for making a decision! And this is where it really begins fundamental difference between men and women... It is here that we fully observe all the manifestations of male and female nature that we have discussed in the previous chapters - to learn the essence of things and ensure the continuation of life, open and hidden initiative, peculiarities of the worldview and the system of values. And in this regard, I propose to recall the formula formulated by Lenin brilliantly and proposed by him in the "April Theses": "Maximum program, minimum program, intermediate goals and objectives and ways to achieve them."

So, due to their nature, for women, the maximum program has priority. They do not specify intermediate goals and objectives very much, therefore sometimes they cannot really explain them, or they motivate them differently each time.

And for men, the minimum program has priority so men great importance give intermediate goals and objectives and ways to achieve them. The maximum program in the minds of men is very abstract and, depending on the circumstances, adjustments can be made to it.

Therefore, women are so arranged that they quite accurately set goals in life and selflessly achieve them. However, they enjoy the fruits of their achievements for a short time, and after that they set new goals for themselves, not that they are opposite, but at least deny the previous ones. For example: first they want to receive a good education, then they want a family, children and home comfort... (It would seem, why then education?) Having built a family, they want freedom and earn money on their own, make a career. (Which is very difficult to relate to family.)

The goals are sometimes less global, but they often follow in the same order that denies each other. Each of these desires separately is completely normal and correct., but in the aggregate it becomes difficult for men to understand such layouts of events. Because men usually do not have specific long-term goals, but, nevertheless, within the framework minimum programs one goal logically flows into another.

Weakness v male logic lies in the fact that an error can creep into the logical circuit. The error can also be contained in the original data on which the logical chain is based. And, thirdly, on what do men most often pierce, truly not understanding why the wrong result was obtained, diligently looking for errors in the logical chain or initial data and not finding them there? The goal itself is simply wrong!

The difference in the nature of thinking is manifested, including in the speech of men and women. As, for example, the handwriting of masculine and feminine differs, also masculine and feminine speech differs. More precisely, the construction of sentences and individual phrases. This difference becomes most contrasting in stressful situations... In men, the chain is clearly distinguished: the cause, the course of development, the prognosis of development, the conclusion. As far as they are true, this separate question. ;)

In women in stressful situations, every phrase, it is the reason, it is the conclusion, and between the ellipsis phrases is the beloved female sign punctuation. Of course, within these phrases both the course of development and the forecast of the situation are implied, but they are not specified by women.

Women understand each other perfectly, men help each other to understand the situation, easily delving into it. But here's a rapport between men and women especially difficult in stressful situations.

When making decisions, women often use intuition, based on what the soul tells them. Therefore, they themselves often cannot explain why they acted this way and not otherwise. Men are more guided by reason. Therefore, their actions can always be logically explained. (A logical action does not necessarily mean a reasonable one, here the request is not to identify these concepts, the whole point is in the goal).

What is intuition? It is not just a feeling or a sensation. Intuition is a joker in a logical chain that replaces missing or not specified links. Men also use intuition, solving their goals and objectives, but not so often, and only for the time being can afford to use such a joker. Still, they prefer to get to the bottom of it.

In women, the main category of thinking is maximum program, where intermediate goals and objectives, of course, exist, but they are not clearly specified, and even have gaps between them. Therefore, all this is replaced in the female consciousness by a large number of jokers - that is, intuition.

There is a competent opinion that deductive thinking is more characteristic of men, that is, from the general to the particular, and they have a problem with inductive thinking. Remember Sherlock Holmes and his deductive reasoning! For women, inductive thinking is more characteristic - from the particular to the general, therefore they also have a problem with deduction. This once again confirms that for women in the process of thinking, the maximum program has priority, and in particular - already insofar as. For men, with their desire to learn the essence of things, it is the particulars that are prioritized, and the maximum program is something distant and not very clear.

For those who have not watched a movie about Sherlock Holmes, I will give more simple examples deductive (masculine) and inductive (feminine) thinking. Deduction - i.e. From general to specific; if all the girls do that, then mine will do the same. Now an example of inductive thinking, i.e. from particular to general; since one guy offended me, it means that all men are goats.

Based on these features of thinking, women have a problem when they need to quickly make a decision in difficult situation... Because this decision lies in the plane of the minimum program, and it is inconvenient for women to think in this category. If she has a man, then she, knowing that men have a different way of thinking, expects him to make a decision for her, but in such a way that it is in her interests.

If she does not have such a man who would make a decision for her, then a woman can reason for a long time and intelligently on a given topic, concretize all the links of the logical chain, do correct conclusions, but making a decision is still difficult for her. Why? Because in fact they are trying to bring some kind of logical chain under the possible or already decision... Men do the opposite: their solution matures at the end of the logical chain!

This contradiction in the schemes of thinking and decision-making is intensified in women by the fact that education and culture as a whole are organized according to male patterns of thinking. Any theorem, statement or action must be explained or proven. If this is a work of art, then it must contain some kind of hidden meaning to be discovered and motivated to explain.

That is, women with early childhood teach to reason and make decisions according to male patterns. As long as we are talking about the arts and sciences - nothing else! Girls learn what they are taught with patience and concentration, and are even ahead of boys in this. Because there is a maximum program - to finish school well (a year, a quarter). As for the essence of the material they have learned, they do not particularly ask questions and do not express their own opinion, their own analysis of the material studied. V best case on their own they can only say what they intuitively feel about the topic, not forgetting to think about whether this will coincide with the official opinion, originally built on male pattern? If not, then it is better to keep your opinion, more precisely, keep your feeling of the topic to yourself, otherwise bad grade you can get it.

Boys at school do not shine with analytical skills because at this age they are not yet ripe. However, they are more likely to ask questions such as: "Why is this so and not otherwise?" At the same time, they can even offer their own solution and develop a thought. Often, from the point of view of an adult, these arguments look ridiculous, because an adult obviously sees the mistakes made by a child, but if an adult is smart, then he will not slap his hands, but will praise the very idea of ​​the question - “why is this so and not otherwise? " - and for trying to figure it out.

There is one anecdote that clearly and hyper-contrast demonstrates the difference between male and female thinking, in which we can trace maximum program in women and minimum program m in men, as well as their tendency to know the essence of things. We know that computers, like all science, work according to the masculine principle of thinking: “If” is a condition, “That” is a result. So:

“The wife decided to cook dinner (the maximum program!) And sends her husband-programmer to the store. Gives him the task - to buy the missing products:
- Buy a stick of sausage. If there are eggs, take a dozen.
(You are already laughing, because you know that your beloved husband brought home - ten sticks of sausage!)
- Why so many sausages?
- But there were eggs! .. "

Why is that? Because he does not see the maximum program - what will be for dinner - and acts rationally and logically within the minimum program: go to the store, buy food, according to the specified conditions.

And there is one more interesting moment, dictated by the difference between the nature of male and female. Any business, after making a decision about it, can be divided into two components: process and result.

If a man has planned something, then for him the result is more important than the process. If the process does not need constant monitoring and can go on by itself, then men will only occasionally take an interest in the course of the process, but they will show interest in the result. Exceptions are hobbies, hobbies, where they enjoy both the process and the result. Or the idea of ​​morality and honor - not every method is suitable for achieving the goal.

If a woman has something in mind, then for her the process is of paramount importance. She will constantly participate in it or follow him, and by the end, when an already clear result soon appears, she may even leave.

But this logic, these patterns from mathematics, physics and other sciences men and women try to transfer to the relationship with each other, but the results are not at all the same, and this gives rise to painful experiences. If girls in the process of education, without knowing it, teachers teach them to think male categories then boys neither in childhood, nor later in adult life to think in female categories is not taught in any form. The point is that in relationships between men and women completely different patterns operate, and the logic that is suitable in mathematics, in the profession or in everyday affairs is completely unsuitable for building relationships between man and woman but this science is not taught. Accordingly, the basis for making decisions should be different.

Both men and women intuitively try to fill in the gaps in their understanding of these patterns, but act on the basis of their own considerations, that is, women - from women, and men - from men. This is the key mistake!

Men do not hard work to concretize particulars and make decisions. Therefore, they very rarely turn to external sources for specific advice on how to behave. Men usually look for missing information in order to receive the most correct solution... Here, as usual, there is always a lack of facts, and if there are a lot of facts, then they cease to lend themselves to analysis.

However, men should remember that there is also a maximum program, that is, a distant goal. Therefore, I can recommend to men in this matter to correctly set long-range goals in a relationship with a woman, and then it will not be difficult for you to take the initial data, build logical chains and make a decision.

Women try to concretize particulars, and since the categories of their thinking do not contribute to this, they try to learn from external sources: magazines, TV series, horoscopes, reasoning of girlfriends, fortune tellers, etc., etc. Looking for ready-made recipes for relationships! So, dear women, no one will give you specifics of what to do, because there are no universal relationships in a relationship. ready-made recipes... The person who gives you specific advice on how to behave with a specific man or in a specific situation should be treated with caution. Most likely, this is either an incompetent person, or a swindler, or a sectarian. By the way, our humorists, with their keen eyes and sharp tongue, very well concretize particular cases and patterns in relations between men and women.

But even in this book you will not find specific advice... But, I hope, it will help you understand what scheme you need to make a decision so that it is the most correct for you.

For women, when making a decision, it is more effective female scheme, based precisely on feelings and sensations that women are rarely deceived:

• If you really want to do exactly that, and you know that if you don’t do that, then later you will regret it, then you should do as you want;
• If you want to do this, but you know that you will later regret what you did, then perhaps you should refrain from this idea.

I must say that most women make mistakes on this - they cannot refrain from implementing the idea when they really want to, even foreseeing obvious problems, not to mention that they simply do not think about possible consequences- the problem with the minimum program.

This is because feelings are replaced by emotions: “Let it be worse for me later, but now I ...” By the way, this is a favorite technique of all kinds of manipulators and intriguers - to force a person to make decisions and act on the basis of emotions. It doesn't even matter if it is a man or a woman, because on the basis of emotions, a person begins to make mistakes, moreover, well-predictable mistakes.

As for science, profession or worldly wisdom, then everything is clear with logic, the nature of thinking and decision-making schemes. This us with early years learn. And on the basis of what to make decisions in building relations between men and women?

First you need to bring your mind and your soul into relative balance. Trust me - it's easy! After all, we are talking about a relative balance, we are not monks or yogis. (It is they who strive for absolute balance to achieve other goals.) And now, having combined their mind and soul in relative balance, like a front sight and a sight bar - well, so that they are at least close to you - you will see the goal! And once you see the goal, it will not be difficult for you to make a decision. We usually try to become like a shooter, who must first see the target, and then correctly aim. Relationship science is not about shooting.

How to combine your mind and soul? First you need to calm down to weed out feelings from emotions. Because emotions will mislead you. Then listen to yourself, to your feelings, your thoughts, your desires, bring them into balance, and then the decision will be the most correct for you. Be less guided by generally accepted stereotypes and patterns of behavior - they may not coincide with the needs of your personality.

In general, in psychology, everything is simple, and the solution of even the most seemingly complex and deep problems, it is not tricky and lies on the surface. If you began to philosophize slyly and invent multi-pass schemes, then you are on the wrong path. This means that it is necessary to formulate the condition of the problem more correctly.

because in psychology, unlike other sciences, the main thing is not the solution, but the condition of the problem! If you're right, pushing off own soul and your own mind, based on your own personality, formulate the task, then its solution for you will become obvious and simple: one or two, less often three actions.

If your own personality has already become overgrown with a thick layer of complexes, stereotypes, generally accepted morality and other "cultural layer", all this can introduce distortions in the process of combining mind and soul and can lead to wrong goals.

Therefore, you will have to try hard to abstract from all this in order to hear exactly yourself, that part of your personality that is inherent in you, the one with which you were born. This is what will help you determine your desires. Then you yourself will make decisions about what you need and what not, what is valuable to you and what is a fetish, what you really like and what not, what is really important to you and what is not very much, what you are ready to endure, and what you will never put up with.

When setting the problem, there is one more necessary condition: the task must be set so that it does not go to someone at evil or at a loss, then it will be really correct.

7 About mental abilities... For some reason, in the Western manner, we began to replace the concept of "intelligence" with the concept of "erudition". That is, we replace the concept of "mental and cultural abilities" with the concept of "amount of knowledge". For example, if you pay attention, IQ tests are a test of acquired knowledge, as well as methods of solving problems. certain types, but not mental abilities.

Offer a modern academician with a gray beard to take an IQ test, he is unlikely to show a decent result, although no one doubts his mental abilities.

Another example is various shows based on the “What? Where? When?". In fact, these are the games of erudites! We are being told from the screen that people earn money with their own intellect. On the one hand, many of them, of course, are intellectuals, but they earn in this game not with their intellect, but with their erudition! Author's note.

Darina Kataeva

Men and women express their thoughts in words, but it is sometimes very difficult for them to understand each other. The main difference lies in the difference between thinking and logic. Conditionally psychologists divide them into rational thinking, which is typical of men, and emotional or intuitive, which is different for the fair sex.

Although each person is individual, experts identify a certain demeanor, distinctive characteristics that are different for a man and a woman. Such a “difference” does not negatively affect the attitudes of young people if they understand the peculiarities of the thinking of the other and take this into account in each situation.

What is the difference between female logic and male logic?

To understand what is the main difference between male and female logic, it is necessary to delve into the very essence of this concept. Logic is a science that studies the features of thinking, laws intellectual activity... Thanks to logic, we are in various areas of our life. This is precisely what is meant by significant differences between men and women.

Goal setting.

For women, the maximum program usually works. No intermediate goal matters, the woman makes efforts to achieve the final result. Wherein achieved goal she doesn't enjoy it very long. Immediately after the achievement, another, more weighty bar appears from the point of view of the girl. And now the woman's thoughts are already directed towards its realization.

Men, on the other hand, give priority to the program at least in life. And although it is important for them to achieve the final goal, they focus more on intermediate goals and how to achieve them. As he gets closer to the final result, the man's final goal may change, which was greatly influenced by circumstances.

Thinking.

Women in every deed. From the point of view of logic, it is completely illogical, while women manage to come to the right decision. How do they do it? Intuition and "own" logic helps women achieve desired result without even relying on specific facts.

Men, when making any decision, use their minds, all their actions are rational. This category people do not make decisions if there are no clear facts. When considering each situation, a man relies on the general situation and on everything that indirectly concerns it. "Emotionality" has nothing to do with male logic... This is where the differences and misunderstandings between men and women begin.

Simultaneous actions.

Even when making decisions, a woman is able to perform several actions at the same time. A man, on the other hand, concentrates completely on the problem, and any distraction knocks him out of thought. In connection with these women, they quickly get out of even a non-standard situation for them, men do it more slowly, but their final result is more objective.

Generalizations.

A woman is prone to generalizations and extremes. In a conversation with a man, she often mentions "never", "forever", "always." However, it means "now" or "this moment." A man, on the other hand, takes things literally, so generalizations are not peculiar to him.

The differences between a man and a woman in an argument are clearly manifested. For a man, reaching the truth in any dispute matters. He is even ready to admit that the opponent is right if his arguments are more convincing. In the course of the discussion, the guy builds a logical system of evidence and beliefs.

The woman achieves the opposite. For her, finding the truth is not as important as winning an argument. To do this, she makes an effort, while her arguments are illogical and contradictory. But what is remarkable is that the way the truth is reached often leads to victory. She uses the loudness of her voice, the frequent repetition of the same phrases. This, according to women, perfect way achieving your goal.

The manner of speaking.

In communication, a woman immediately gives out what she thinks, she is characterized by decisiveness. She perceives silence as a sign of agreement. A man, if he is silent, then he is considering the question, he is in his "cave". If a woman arranges an interrogation or demands a quick decision, and thinks about the problem even longer.

The chasm between the logic of a man and a woman is not deep, since the education system is based on the male pattern of thinking. Therefore, some women even think like men. In view of this, it is much more difficult for guys to understand feminine logic.

Does this get in the way of a happy marriage?

The difference in logic in the thinking of men and women is explained by their nature. In ancient times, such a difference was noticed and is explained by the role of each. A man is the head of the family, he provides for his children and his wife, so it is extremely important for him to think in abstract terms. A woman is the keeper of the hearth, she takes care of her family and children, so the manifestation of feelings and emotions comes to the fore.

So that, despite the obvious differences in the logic of men and women, the following efforts can be made:

Learn to give in and accept the other's point of view without quarreling. Do not insist only on your own. Just imagine how pleasant it is for a spouse or wife if you give in on an important issue for him. It will make your family life happy.
Understand the thoughts and feelings of the other person. If the spouse has a different point of view, this does not mean at all that he is wrong. Think about why he made such a decision, what was his motivation. This will make it easier for you to accept and acknowledge the position of the other.
Be realistic. Remember what to suit each other for life together, this does not mean at all that you need to be the same. Love in each other not only the similarity of characters and habits, but also what you are different in!

If you understand the peculiarities of masculine and feminine logic, it will be easier for you, as a spouse, to accept differences of opinion. By keeping the differences in mind, you will avoid mistakes and immediately experience a change in attitudes for the better.

March 1, 2014