How to return a man's love to you - wise advice. Portal of interesting hobbies

30.05.2019

Sometimes spouses come to us for a consultation who are in the most severe, with a lot of resentment and anger at each other. But later it turns out that this is only one part of their relationship. The other is... love, tenderness, affection, care and a sense of value of another spouse. But it is much more difficult for them to talk about these feelings. And when spouses stop talking about their love, the meaning of cohabitation.

Attention is a manifestation of love

To improve relationships, it is important to find in yourself that secluded corner where your love hid. It must be carefully and carefully raised and shown to a partner. When you start expressing love, your partner eventually responds to it and becomes more loving too. However, love is not demanded, it is given. No need to "force" the spouse to talk about love, there is various ways her expressions and without the aid of words.

The first way is touch. How long have you been gently touching each other? Do you want it? In order for touches to become a manifestation of love, they must be pleasant to the partner, express care and attention. No need to be zealous and strangle each other in your arms. Sometimes we hug a partner when we want to be hugged ourselves. Be careful! If he (she) leaves the touch, if he doesn’t feel like it now, there is no need to insist and be offended. Maybe you should wait for the right time, choose appropriate place, ask what kind of touches are pleasant to the spouse.

The second way is gifts. For gifts to be a manifestation of love, they should not be made for show, should not be a payment for something or a purchase of something. When you give a gift, you don't have to expect anything in return. Such gifts should be made when you want to please your spouse, and they are more pleasant than useful. If you took the time to prepare a gift, organized a special ceremony, handed it in person, such a gift will be valued more. It will be more pleasant for a woman to receive flowers as a gift, and not a food processor; for a man, a football ticket, and not a shaving kit. Especially valuable gift is the realization of erotic fantasies. For a husband, a gift can be a new attractive clothes on the wife, for the wife - the organization of a romantic dinner by the husband.

The third way is help. For help to be a manifestation of love, it must be voluntary and disinterested. Try not to confuse it with an ultimatum or an exchange agreement. A husband can help his wife with household chores, do that part of them that he was not asked to do. A wife can help her husband realize his ideas: find the phone he needs on the Internet, support him with her faith in him.

The fourth way is words of encouragement. Over time, the good that spouses do in the family is taken for granted. A tradition is being created to perceive the fulfillment of your wishes as a norm that does not deserve attention. But mistakes are criticized and inflated to unthinkable proportions. This is typical for most of our families. Sometimes a husband or wife tries to do something new, but is often met with criticism from the other spouse. This brings into the relationship a special bitterness, resentment, desire for revenge, hopelessness and a sense of loss of love. The desire to please the partner disappears. So a thin thread of hope is gradually wound into a ball of mutual resentment and anger.

If you look closely at each other, you will surely find something that you like in your partner. Think about what you can thank each other for. For example, the husband provides for the family, plays with the children, and the wife brings up the children and takes care of the household. Maybe your partner took over that part joint work which you especially dislike. Recognize the partner's contribution to family life, praise him for what you like about him and his actions. Do not disregard the efforts of a partner that you enjoy. Speak words of gratitude when you receive a gift, accept help with gratitude, speak when you are pleased with his touch. The more sincere your words, the more love partner will feel. Words of approval won't ruin it, but will make both of you happier.

The most surprising thing is that accepting positive reviews can also be quite difficult. Listen to yourself - what is easier for you to perceive: praise or censure? It happens that compliments and approvals can confuse, cause anxiety and anxiety. This is explained by the fact that many in childhood are accustomed to receiving pokes and slaps, and what is familiar is safe, therefore more comfortable.

The fifth way is time for communication. When you make time for each other, you feel important and loved. Spending time with a person means paying attention to him, being in dialogue with him. If you have begun to notice that you are listening to your spouse "like a radio", then think about what you are missing in order to be absorbed in talking with each other. Are you a poor listener or distracted by other issues? In order for the partner to understand that they are hearing him, you need to look at him when he speaks, do nothing else at this time, be attentive to his feelings and not interrupt. If you do not understand what the husband or wife is talking about, ask questions, show sincere interest to what the husband says. It is very useful in such a dialogue to speak only in the first person. For example: "I'm so hungry I can't think of anything" instead of "Well, how long can you wait for dinner?!"

In addition to talking, you can do things that both of you enjoy, such as cooking festive dinner or... skydiving.

Answer these questions for yourself. How often do you stay with your husband/wife together, just the two of you? When was the last time you talked not about children and affairs, but about your relationship? Do you want to be alone? If you want, then the opportunity will definitely appear. There are grandmothers, grandfathers, nannies, kindergarten or something else. If you feel even the slightest bit of doubt and reluctance, ask yourself: "What can happen if you are suddenly left alone and start talking to each other?" If the answer to this question turns out to be no topic for conversation, then here's a hint for you to start discussing your relationship.

Speak "Marriage Contract"

In every relationship there is an unspoken "contract". It may contain points regarding what joint goals you have, what each of you is responsible for in the family, how it is customary to communicate with each other, how to show love, what distance in a relationship is acceptable to you, etc. Unspoken agreements are rarely voiced, agreed and discussed. Both spouses evolve, change, and the original contract may not meet today's needs of the spouses. And then the contract needs to be reviewed. Think about your contract, write together its clauses. Discuss them. Are any of you satisfied with them? Are they appropriate for the situation? For example, initially you had an unspoken contract about a shared wallet. But this agreement was made a long time ago, when there was little money in the family. Perhaps now each of you has a need to share finances, but you are silent about this, and you don’t even know that your half wants the same thing as you. Remember the parable about how two elderly spouses on a golden wedding discovered the mistake of a lifetime. The husband thought: "All my life, taking care of my wife, I gave her a crust of bread, which I love so much, today I can finally eat it myself." Wife thought the same bread crumb. After that, they found out that the wife liked the crumb all her life, and the husband liked the crust.

Check your guesses about the partner, bring clarity to the relationship

Sometimes a bitter residue of resentment or disappointment, anger or fear remains from communication with a spouse or spouse. In this case, you can try not to avoid further interaction, but to clarify what happened. At the same time, it is important to talk about yourself and your experiences and listen carefully to your partner. Describe your feelings and your partner's actions that caused those feelings.

Let's say you hug your husband when he plays on the computer. He angrily says, "Go away." You can get offended and stop talking, pout and wait for your husband to feel guilty and pay attention to you. And you can even decide that your husband completely stopped loving you. Or you can wait until he leaves the computer and ask about his feelings and attitude towards you, i.e. test your fantasies. Perhaps you will find out that your husband loves you very much, but now he is just tired and resting like that.

And remember that if your spouse is angry and yells at you, this does not mean that he does not love and accept you at all. Each person has different, sometimes directly opposite feelings, even for the closest people. We can hate a partner and love him passionately, sometimes feel tenderness for him, and sometimes be afraid of rejection.

Pause in conflict

In a conflict of interest, when the feelings of partners are very strong, each of the spouses wants to insist on his own and win. The loser is forced to sacrifice his own interests. However, the family is needed in order to satisfy the needs of all its members as fully as possible. When at least one loses, the whole family loses. When emotions overwhelm you and you start to insult each other, pause in the conversation. Explain to your partner that you need a pause to calm down and think. Listen to yourself. What is preventing you from understanding your partner now? Think what you want. What do you feel? Think about your partner, what does he want, what feelings does he have? Try to understand his positive intentions. It is unlikely that he lives with you to spoil your life. And when you calm down, tell your partner what you understand. Talk about your feelings, your desires. Ask him if you understand him correctly. Then, when making decisions, you will be able to take into account both your interests and the interests of your partner.

Explore the give-and-take balance

Respect each other's needs. Try to apply to your family the idea that each of you can have maximum pleasure, and for this it is not necessary to suffer. Explore together the balance of your give-and-take relationship. Partners are especially pleased with each other when both feel that they are getting a little more in a relationship than they give. In order not to find yourself in a situation where there will be only pleasures on the side of one of you, and only duties on the side of the other, each of you needs to defend your desires. This can lead to the fact that the spouse will be angry that you are selfish and completely unwilling to think and take care of him. Do not be afraid of this anger, it does not mean the loss of love, but your willingness to fight for love and happiness.

We hope that you will not only use these recommendations, but also come up with your own own ways cultivate and maintain warm feelings for each other.

Julia Dunaeva
Olga Vasilyeva

Discussion

Article like a sip fresh air. While reading, it calms and allows you to place all thoughts in your head on the shelves where they should be. Reminds me of where it all began. Many points are known and understandable, but in the daily bustle, all feelings and thoughts are mixed up. In this case, it is difficult for a person to understand what he wants from himself and those around him. It's a good idea to write down the points of this article in your head and look at them periodically. Then you can rethink your behavior, desires and feelings, and realize your mistakes. I will be happy to show the article to my wife so that she does not forget who we are for each other.
Thanks to the author.

23.11.2008 02:03:32, Eugene

A brief retelling of the book "5 Love Languages" :) No, it's useful, of course, but only if both want to.

Everything is well written. Interestingly, I tried all the ways. But... it turned out that it was a one-sided game. He went down the path least resistance- gone.

05/15/2008 23:21:10, went to the light

One not taken into account the most important detail: when both changes though, then you can look for ways. Usually one person wants to save the marriage, and the other does not. Such articles, apparently, are written by students :) And as you know, the best narcologist is a cured alcoholic ...

05/15/2008 11:04:49 AM, Something like this

Comment on the article "How to return love?"

Maybe we've been together for too long and that's why past feelings faded ... Girls, how to return I do not want to lose my husband, he is very good man is kind, lacquered, but the same My husband and I also had two years in a very friendly and calm relationship, without quarrels, without sex.

Discussion

Most likely, he has been banging someone for a long time. And of course he loves you, but since he doesn’t get what he needs with you, he probably takes it from another. Well, or it will happen soon.

09/29/2018 10:25:26 PM, uuu22

My husband and I have been friends and parents for many years, without marital relations. Complete harmony, he doesn’t want, but I don’t need it :)) I’m not worried, reliable person, a great father.

09/27/2018 07:00:11, there are no ideals

Webinar "Crisis" family relations. How to improve relationships in the family? I was able to get my husband back. Due to the nature of my employment, I am quite a lot. Section: What to do? (how to bring a husband back to life in a crisis). I look bad (no, well, I'll put on makeup for work - it seems to be nothing, but in the mornings ...

Discussion

I'm a little older than you. I share my own, very recent experience. I was covered in the same way this fall, although my favorite job (apparently, professional burnout), and golden children, and everything is calm in family life.

I decided to act like this: I have been working with my head all my life, now I will work with my hands for a change. I remembered that 30 years ago my grandmother taught me to knit, took the book "Housekeeping", which was left from my grandmother, and refreshed my knowledge. I found a blouse model and literally began to devote every free minute to knitting.

At first it was very difficult, I disbanded the already connected ranks several times, but, oddly enough, it was this struggle with difficulties that distracted me from heavy thoughts. And when it started to turn out, it gave me strength: I can create beautiful thing. I bought more books on knitting and improved my work so that now it's a pleasure to look at.

Little by little, I decided to aim for more: the blouse began to turn into a dress. And my hands were already moving mechanically, and it became boring for me to knit looking only at the knitting needles. I began to download various films that are considered masterpieces of world cinema, but which I somehow had no time to watch before, and knitted, looking at the screen with one eye. I got a lot of emotions from watching a really great movie.

Long sitting behind the knitting needles began to strain my back, and I drove myself into the pool, where I began to walk with pleasure and lose weight. In the meantime, the state of health was getting better and better - both psychological and physical. For the dress, which will soon be ready, the whole family began to respect me in a new way. And I was so carried away by working with wool that I signed up for art felting courses and am going to make jewelry and clothes for myself. And if my products ever manage to monetize! ..

This is just one of the possible recipes, but in my case it really worked. I want you to find yours too!

get busy community service. Do not want? Well, okay, live on as you want.

sexual relations Keywords: love and sex, husband and wife, lover and mistress, contraception, family. I would like to hear advice on what could happen, can I return it and is it worth it? Off: Have you already returned from your business trip? from you still no answer...

Discussion

If the question “is it worth it” arises, it means that you don’t really want to. Because if life is not sweet without it, the question "is it worth it" is not worth it. And so ... "calling your love little romance, such that others would not guess very much, the heart and pocket would not be very empty "...
And "how to do it" - depends on the aunt. One must be grabbed in an armful and not let go, the other, on the contrary, let go and be close, but at a distance ... And there are also intermediate options ...
And "can you" - this is the current gods know :-)

"Will I be able to return it and is it worth it?" - for 35 summer man(and even on the women's forum) - some kind of stupid posing of the question, it smells of adolescence ...

How to add lightness to relationships? For a long time I could not formulate for myself what was wrong. Eat happy marriage about 10 years old, wonderful children, prosperity, lack of global unresolved problems, but ... during all this time there were grievances, claims that the husband was not enough ...

Discussion

take a closer look and see that not only he has a straw in his eye, but also the whole log itself. I'm serious - we all remember very well what "he forgot / didn't give", but we ourselves forgive ourselves 10 times more (just don't tell me how you don't forget to iron his shirts or feed him yummy treats, I'm talking about that HE would like, but did not receive from you, that what would not be betrayed or rejected as "and I don’t want to know" to him, perhaps more than all the yummy and shirts .... and nothing, he forgave you , does not bear resentment)

Pardon my tediousness, but behind every offense there is an unspoken demand. Since you have come here, you can do it here, but generally enough for yourself: we take a sheet of paper and write down the offense and the demand that stands behind it, and so on until the requirements that you have for your husband stand out (because most grievances will be related to one or two basic requirements). Then you voice the requirements, that is, pronounce them alone. How do they sound? Fine? Again, most often behind the grievances are demands that sound either utopian or ... And you just do it! If you get real requirements, you can talk about them with your husband, if unrealistic, you yourself will laugh and there will be less resentment. If you doubt how realistic the requirement is - write here :))

How to return love? Wife and husband. Family relationships. It would be strange if he still died, taking her by the hand. Although they unconditionally love each other, I How to return the love of her husband? It so happened that we had an abyss in our relationship, through my fault.

Discussion

The same...
It's probably okay. Over time, you begin to perceive your husband as a relative. And romance something hotstsa! ;) I personally don't see anything wrong with light flirting, in principle, and in a lover, as such, only that everyone decides for himself whether it is acceptable or not. For me, flirting is enough. In general, we all use each other to a greater or lesser extent.

in general, some kind of shake-up is needed. And both of them. But in general, well, you can’t burn with passion for the same person for 30 years in a row, it doesn’t work. Passion, falling in love - at the first stage, after 3 years it either ends or goes to new level. My grandparents lived together for almost 70 years. It would be strange if he still died, taking her by the hand. Although they unconditionally love each other, I am sure that they would not have survived without each other, and both take care of each other very touchingly and tenderly in all sorts of ailments (which, alas, follow one after another at their age). It's just that this is a different level of love - more mature.
If you want to fall in love again, you need to get into a situation in which you would recognize your husband from the other side. Those. now it seems to you that you know him as flaky, but here - oh-pa! - some new facets, and positive ones, have opened up. Those. we need some kind of joint extreme and it is desirable that he perform a couple of feats before your eyes :)
And as for that other man, then perhaps you like him while you know him little. Maybe he snores vilely at night, and in the morning his mouth stinks? :(
And your husband is like air. We also get used to the air, and do not notice and do not appreciate it, but take it away - and longer than 5 seconds. no one will live. So you are used to it, but you can’t imagine that you can, for example, lose it, and then a big piece will be torn out of your life, and it will be very good to restore it. difficult. So think about it. We do not appreciate the good that we have.

how to innovate in a relationship. 7ya.ru - information project on family matters: pregnancy How to return love? This brings a special bitterness, resentment, desire to take revenge into the relationship. Girls, share, who can, how can you bring novelty into your relationship with your husband?

Discussion

Everyone greetings and thanks for your understanding. Indeed, when a woman is not busy with anything but a child and at home, and before that she was an ardent, active person, it is very difficult not to find a reason that can upset her. Stockings and drugs are simply unacceptable for me, it's just stupid somehow. After all family life- It's not just sex. Anyway, for me. Yes, and we don’t have grandmothers in Moscow, there’s no one to leave the child to, while, as some suggested, you can hide in the bushes with your husband in the forest. Childishness doesn't work like that anymore. We are adults, wealthy people who have everything, but who have simply lost their taste for life and each other. Previously, they worked together with my husband, there were no spills of water, two boots of steam, and after my birth, he began to pull the wagon himself, but I don’t have enough of this very wagon :)). Artificially inventing entertainment for myself is not for me - shopping trips, salons, etc. I'm used to just living in such a way that everything cool and interesting comes by itself, but now, it turns out, everything needs to be invented in order to entertain myself, my beloved ... Ugh, it's disgusting. I don’t want to hand over the child to the nannies, and we still have to sit at home for 2-3 months before the garden. I can't get away from him. I took a wonderful nanny for a test, but psychologically I could not cope with it. While they were walking, she sat at home, shedding tears. That's it. Everyone is different.

28.09.2005 16:56:33, Marina-Marina 12/18/2004 18:12:31, Mr.

You can't return the relationship. It's fantastic, son. But you can rebuild them. Still, the question is different: how to persuade a person to his side, if he seems to doubt to some extent that he is not ready to return, but on the other hand he is completely sure of ...

Discussion

Why does it all need to be returned? A?
Maybe acute shortage endless fights?
I would go to church, put a candle and praise the Lord that it "broke off" in just a couple of years!
Nastolgia is a good thing, but you should not forget about the future, because it promises to be good.

09/03/2003 02:51:49 PM, Esok

Instruction

Look for meetings. Show up where your loved one goes. As if by chance, find yourself in the same company, attend the same events.

Rejoice man. Everyone likes to be smiled at. Make it clear that your meeting is a gift, an important event in life.

Track the reaction. If a loved one is located to you, then it's time to create reasons for joint communication. Based on your interests and passions, plan a trip to the cinema, a boat trip, an unusual pastime.

Keep calm. If you managed to establish friendly contact, this does not mean that you are again in love. Give the man, don't rush him. Be prepared to maintain a friendly attitude for as long as it takes. Be close to your loved one whenever possible.

Learn new things about the person. No one stands still: new events occur, other people appear, new peaks are conquered. You have changed, and the person may have become different. Take a look at him. Understand what it is now, and what has changed? Do you like it in a person? Realize that you are too. And the loved one considers and studies these new traits. If not for the joint past and memories, then we could start everything with clean slate.

Involve the person in your life. It doesn't have to be just dates. Ask for advice, be interested in the opinion of a person. Invite to meetings with friends, introduce to relatives. Do it together long trips. Live to the fullest. When you feel that he is ready to take a step towards you, open your arms. Ask about relationships and living together.

Passion. What does she mean to you, what role does she play in a relationship? Perhaps, after years of family relationships, you forgot about this feeling. Maybe this burning desire hid under the sofa on which your chosen one is watching football again? Or maybe it sleeps in a box with a scarlet ribbon, where you keep the indiscreet set of linen that was given to you in the first place. romantic night? Passion fell under the wheels of everyday life, but you can fix everything.

You will need

- subscription to Gym;
- beautiful underwear
- cosmetics to enchant;
- The book "Kama Sutra" and fantasy.

Instruction

Passion should not be feigned, in this case, falsehood is immediately visible. Do not attack your partner like a raging bull or a tigress in order to arouse interest in him and kindle the fire of love. You will face indifference. The feeling should arise immediately one for two, like a discharge from a touch, like a flash from a glance.

This feeling is corroded by life, everyday life and pressing problems. If you don't allow yourself to rest and relax, negative thoughts will not disappear from your head, as a result, you will close in yourself (in problems) and wrap yourself in this funnel. So finally get some rest!

Children. This is happiness, of course. But love fun at the same time boils down to a rustle under the covers, and only when everyone is sleeping. Ask grandmothers and grandchildren to take at least one day or evening on weekdays or. And the kids will be happy with new experiences and care, and your feelings will jump out of the "straitjackets".

“Women love with their ears, and men with their eyes” - it has always been, is and will be. Home bathrobe and a "tail" on the head instead of a hairstyle is not impressive, is it? Another thing is if this dressing gown is a peignoir of the color of a scarlet rose, the length of which hardly covers the buttocks, and on the head there is a highly tied tail, shiny and decorated with a string of pearls. Beautiful? Your partner will not be able to lie on the couch after seeing you in this image.

Body and sport. Beautiful body requires investment, whatever one may say. This is a massage, and a gym, and a solarium with creams, and expensive perfume. If there are no such expenses in the home budget, then in your daily routine it is worth allocating an hour of free time for daily care behind you. As far as sports are concerned, physical exercise increase libido and improve mood.

Sexual relations. A well-executed plan is appropriate anywhere but here. The same bed, poses, phrases, behavior - this is boredom. Passion galloping from such bedrooms. Diversify your life, attract help wild fantasies, erotic lingerie, role-playing games. Spontaneity, change of place, all your tricks that you used in candy-bouquet period- all for your benefit. Try, experiment, enjoy yourself.

Crisis and stress. They are not expected, they enter without knocking, sometimes at the very wrong moment. Here and crises, and dismissal at work, and the birth of a child, and depression. Step over these with your head held high, these are steps that bring not only extinction, but also development. After you need to come to your senses, the man acquires new role and become a father. Passion at this time, she quietly “stands” on the sidelines, but a couple of sleepless months will pass, and she will again extend her hand to you.

Spend time alone and talk. Discover new facets in your partner, be surprised and surprise yourself. No need to stop, having ringed a loved one, you need to develop further. Become better and more appetizing over the years, like long-term cognac. Bloom, open up, seduce, drive you crazy.

Tip 4: How to bring love and romance back to your relationship with your husband

Is it possible to bring romance back into a faded relationship? Any union requires nourishment of feelings, so it is important for a woman to know some of the nuances that will bring novelty to the relationship.

Instruction

Leave your husband love note. If you leave the house early, leave a ready-made breakfast on the table and put a note with your wishes next to it. Have a good day or with a declaration of love. You can put such a note discreetly in your pocket.

Walk like before. Go to the park, walk around the places you used to walk together.

Speak the same language. Talk to your husband in the same language, so you can correctly convey your emotions. Satisfying the needs of a man, you get a happy partner in return.

"Do you love me?" - three simple words, which are pronounced most often based on something more than a one-syllable answer. Behind this question may be disappointment, doubt, dissatisfaction with relationships and brewing problems.

"Do you love me?" - V Once again the girl asks her lover. Three simple words that are spoken most often for something more than a one-syllable answer. Behind this question may be disappointment, doubt, dissatisfaction with relationships and brewing problems.

"Well, of course!" he answers. And in his voice slip notes of doubt, irritation, fatigue. Said to brush it off. Or maybe this phrase is the beginning of the end? The last lie for good? How to return the love of a guy and is it possible to return the love of a husband - while your common "fire" has not completely died out yet?

If there is an imbalance in the relationship, if you feel how love is leaving your couple, you should not act on a whim, otherwise mistakes cannot be avoided. System-Vector Psychology Yuri Burlan allows you to understand how to maintain a relationship with your loved one, protect yourself from disappointments and.

WHY DOES LOVE INEVITABLY FADE OUT?

Love is fleeting - this rule is tested daily in practice by thousands and millions of couples in whose relationships. Such transformations are notable for their denouement: someone is forced to leave because of the fading of feelings, and someone finds the strength to overcome difficulties and finds a way to return the former brightness and passion to the relationship with her husband or boyfriend.

How to return love to a relationship in which it has almost died out?

We used to think that the existence of a couple justifies only love. But in order for the union to live longer, it is worth changing your outlook on this feeling.

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

Beloved went to another, just fell out of love, realized that you are not on the way? There are many options for reasons and reasons for such an act. And although it seems that now it is too late to do anything, the heart and feelings protest in every possible way against "surrendering their positions."

The question of how to return a beloved girl worried young people many centuries ago and still has not lost its relevance. What to do? First of all, you need to understand that it will not be possible to enter the same river twice, but it is possible to change yourself and try again to improve relations.

If you want to return the old feelings and relationships, you need to calm the boiling cauldron of emotions and listen to the recommendations of psychologists. And these tips largely coincide with the usual worldly wisdom, proven over the centuries.

So, experts on human souls advise guys to take the following steps:

Analyze whether it is necessary to return the former lover. Perhaps you yourself, in the depths of your soul, wished for a break in these relations, and now only cries out in you male pride, not allowing to come to terms with the fact that it was the girl who left first. If, however, reflection on the situation showed that love and warm feelings remained, you are ready to change for her sake and put aside reproaches and resentments, it makes sense to take action.
Think carefully about the situation, try to clarify and find out exactly at what point the fatal mistake was made in relations with ex-girlfriend. It is extremely important to forget about the quarrels between you and forgive your beloved if she became the culprit of the breakup.
Try to arrange a meeting with the girl, talk to her again, avoiding scandals and accusations. Be sure to clarify that you have realized your mistake and are ready to resume the relationship. The likelihood of a positive development for you is quite high, especially if you show that you appreciate her feelings and have become more responsible.
If the ex-lover does not want to meet, try to keep a distance for a while and wait until she cools down and is ready for a serious conversation.

Before considering ways to return your beloved girl, it is necessary to clarify the list of actions that are strictly contraindicated. Is it possible to resort to them? Yes, but only if you want to turn your ex-lover away from you forever.

No need to constantly call, talk about love, send gifts. Women's psychology is such that a guy kneeling and begging for forgiveness seems like a creature unworthy of attention. Your active imposition will generally destroy at least some respect and alienate the ex-lover even more.
Reject the threat of suicide. Unfortunately, similar method quite common among the stronger sex. First, even if it works, then keeping a girl next to you will not be love, but pity. Secondly, next time such a trick will no longer work, since the young lady will develop a kind of immunity to threats.
You should not promise global changes. notorious female psychology makes girls believe not logical arguments, but emotions and sensations. She will not understand the global nature of your plans, she needs sensual evidence: to see, to feel the difference. Only then will she be able to trust you.
Do not drown out the pain and your blues with alcohol. Alcohol only enhances real emotions. If you are sad, then a few glasses of strong alcoholic drink will only increase the intensity of such a mood. In addition, you do not want to sink even more in the eyes of the former chosen one?

If you are determined to return your girlfriend, try to find out the exact reason for the breakup.

Finding the source of the problem is already half the battle. It is best, of course, to find out the motive of the act first-hand, but if the ex-lover does not make contact, you will have to figure it out on your own or sign up with a psychologist.

What are the reasons for the breakup?

Lack of trust. The psychology of relationships claims that couples in which there are no trusting relationship will fall apart sooner or later. Incessant jealousy, constant monitoring of every step of the girl, monitoring her correspondence on the network or via SMS will certainly lead to a break in relations.
Lie. It is difficult to meet girls who could easily forgive deceit and betrayal. If ex-lover found out about your affair, do not be surprised that she decided to break off your relationship.
Love is over. "I fell out of love" - extremely painful for male pride reason for breaking up. It hurts even more if the former chosen one went to another.
Partner selfishness. Any patience is not unlimited, therefore, at some point, even the quietest and most shy girl can rebel because of male inattention.
obsession with former relationship. If a man maintains close contact with a previous girlfriend, the current chosen one may take this extremely negatively. Women are especially annoyed by the comparison with former lovers.

Of course it's not full list possible causes rupture of relations. You can also recall the mismatch of characters, unwillingness to give in to each other, to compromise. It is important to understand the pile of problems and find main motive female action.

4 simple steps that will work

So, some time has passed, and you realized that attempts to reanimate the relationship have failed. Increasingly, the question of how to get your girlfriend back worries you day and night. She says that she has fallen out of love, or does not answer at all phone calls and sms.

You can, of course, continue to guard her near work or university, fill up with flowers, beg for a meeting and beg for a second chance. However, since highly likely your ideas will fail, because the psychology of the girl does not allow respect for the guy lying at her beautiful legs. Gather your will into a fist and listen to the advice of experts.

Step #1: Agree with her decision

If, after a quarrel or a long tense relationship, a girl tells you about a breakup, try to at least outwardly perceive her words calmly and even with a touch of relief. You can answer the following: “I'm glad that we have a common opinion. I've been thinking about breaking up for a long time."

Why is the effect guaranteed? Women often say such phrases in the heat of the moment or in order to achieve changes in the behavior of a guy. But even if your girlfriend planned such a conversation, unexpected turn will confuse her and level the moral edge.

Having agreed, you do not need to enter into an argument, otherwise you can ruin everything. Leave the girl in confusion for a while. At this time, do not call and do not arrange "random" meetings, quarrels. Now the ball is in your court, so you need to prepare for the next points.

Step #2. Contact

In anticipation of her call or message on the network, a “random” meeting, one should not become discouraged and follow her VK page. You can confidently say that the former lover is in the dark, not understanding why you do not find out about her affairs, do not try to return her.

And there are two possible scenarios for the development of events:

The girl will be the first to call, finding any significant reason - she forgot a thing at your place or asks for advice on any issue. Be sure to pick up the phone, ask what prompted her to call, ask about business, but without unnecessary emotions.
If your ex doesn't call, try setting up a meeting at a place she frequents. Naturally, without flowers and balloons, since you met her "completely by chance."

In any of the contact options, answer positively, without rudeness, but in monosyllables, as if you managed to acquire secrets. The girl should feel that you are not talking everything through. End the conversation first, referring to being busy. After a conversation or meeting, do not call or write, again disappearing for a while.

Step #3. Changes

So, you hid, thereby warming up the curiosity of the ex-lover, but you can’t sit back. Self-development and self-improvement is necessary, and you will also have no time for sadness. During this period, you can do the following:

pump up as much as possible, bring yourself to the optimal physical form by removing the beer belly;
update your wardrobe, replacing the usual urban style with something brighter;
go on a trip, do something extreme view sports (without fanaticism), which will certainly affect your self-esteem and outlook;
take some photos with pretty strangers (not your cousin) and post them on your page.

Be sure that the ex-fiancee regularly comes to you in social media to mark changes in status or discover new girls in "friends". The change of image will definitely hook her.

In addition, by changing your lifestyle, you will attract new interesting people. Perhaps among them a young lady will be found who will be better in every way than her former lover. Then you will no longer puzzle over the question of how to return a girl after a breakup and rekindle feelings.

Step #4. Personal meeting

If the girl does not call or write after the first contact, arrange communication on your own. chance meeting will show all the positive changes that have happened to you during the separation. Women are quite jealous of such changes, starting to think about possible rivals. Yes, girls are jealous even of their ex-boyfriends!

It is extremely important to communicate in person, limiting contacts on the Internet to a minimum.

Before you start returning your man, think about it and answer a few questions for yourself:

why do I need it?
what will I do with the past when it is with me again?
can I forgive him for his mistakes and shortcomings so that we can be together again?
How am I willing to change for him?
what concessions will I make?

At first emotions, it may seem that you are ready to forgive everything and change yourself beyond recognition in order to return your man. But it is better to give yourself some time, let the emotions subside. Understand why the relationship collapsed? Was everything good?

... and the black stripe began

There are periods in life when it seems that the whole world is against you, everything falls out of your hands and nothing can be done well. And, like the icing on the cake, at that moment you get the news that your relationship is ending. And immediately they begin to torment thoughts about how to return the guy's love.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to return a person or his feelings. You can start from the beginning, but even that is very difficult. If a man betrayed you difficult period your life, does he deserve a second chance? Will he respect you after this? Or will he understand that you, like a dog, will run after him, and he will beat you in the face with his boot? And in response, only a miserable whine.

And if a man went to another, then you need to remember about own pride. If you are ready to put up with betrayal, then return it. Some even find a certain pleasure in this process. Olya and Savva got married when they were 20 years old. For the first six months, they passionately enjoyed each other, until one evening Olya came all crying to her girlfriend. Savva got a mistress! Olya considered herself wise woman and, having enlisted the support of a friend, she decided to return her husband to the family.

The whole arsenal of seducing a man was used, from fishnet stockings to a three-layer pie for dinner. Two months later, Savva left the insidious lovebird, and the love between the spouses flared up with renewed vigor. More than 10 years have passed, Savva periodically has girls on the side, and Olya heroically returns the prodigal husband to the family.

From the outside it seems that they both enjoy this process. When the passions subside, Savva provokes Olya to take action. They seem to be really happy.

I've done so many stupid things!

Not only are people not perfect, but women are also irrational. Girlfriends in all seriousness advise each other to throw a scandal to their loved one, so that he definitely feels the strength and power of his girlfriend's love. Scandal for love - is it logical?

With the best of intentions, some girls do terrible stupid things. They are jealous, find fault, throw tantrums over trifles. For example, Anya started living with Kostya 2 months after they met. And so that passion does not break into everyday life, Anyuta decided to immediately show what a good hostess she is. And on Sunday, she and Kostya went for groceries like the most real family. Anya picked up a whole cart of everything. It’s good that Kostya had a salary the day before, he left almost all of it at the checkout in the store. And Anya has not yet taken into account that there are 3 bus stops to the store, but they don’t have a car. And here they are, loaded with bags, in displeased silence got home.

Let's take a look at this case. Anya wanted to show that she:

can run a household;
ready to take on the role of the mistress of the house;
knows what is needed for the house and buys groceries with the best ratio price quality;
is ready to take care of Kostya so that he eats tasty and healthy food.

Sounds good from Anya, right? And what does Kostya feel at this moment? Arriving home and taking a breath, he realizes that:

She's a spender, doesn't know how to budget. What will they live on for the rest of the month?
she does not know how to plan, because part of the purchases could be easily done on another day;
she labeled him “you’re a man” and demands that he wear heavy bags, pays always and everywhere;
she does not take into account his opinion and does not consult with him;
she invaded his territory and proceeds to establish her own rules.

And if at this moment Anya and Kostya do not discuss this situation over a cup of tea with fresh cookies, then this will be the first drop of displeasure and more family happiness. And if you talk calmly, then in the future they will not only learn to understand each other and think about the partner’s feelings, but also understand how best to act in any situation.

There are a million such examples. Surely every couple has their own similar story. But someone remembers her with a smile, and she alienates someone from each other. And if the relationship ended due to a misunderstanding of this nature, then they should try to return.

To understand how to return a man's love, you must first remember why it suddenly ended. If you think you did everything right, ask him. Let him tell you what was wrong. At this moment, you only listen and remember, you will discuss later. Do not rush to argue, even if you do not like what you hear or you do not agree with these statements.

IN calm environment analyze what you hear. Try to look at your relationship through his eyes. Maybe he's right in his own way?

Then decide what you will change about yourself. For example, as in the case of Anya and Kostya, you will discuss large expenses. You are ready to allocate a certain amount for purchases that will not require discussion, that is, you will discuss only those cases when you are going to spend more than the agreed amount.

Do not trust your memory, write down all your thoughts point by point. Otherwise, later, in a conversation with a man, you won’t be able to remember everything that you were going to say, because of the surging emotions.

Analyze your feelings for him. Are you hurt because he hurt your feelings or broke your heart by leaving you? If rather the first option, then it is not necessary to return it. After a while, you will feel better, you will feel free from this relationship. And why do you need a person you don't love?

And if your feelings are hurt, then you should tell your man about them. But only after his plan for self-improvement. During the conversation, admit that he is right, talk about your intended actions and explain that you are ready for this, because you love.

Anya and Kostya broke up a couple of days after going to the store. They were lucky, during the quarrel Kostya expressed everything he thought. Anya did not find the strength to talk, but wrote short letter: “Kostya, I thought about everything you said. And first of all, I want to apologize. In fact, I didn't think of many things at all. I promise it won't happen again. Secondly, you and I will be able to plan our budget, we will buy something on the way home from work so that we don’t have to drag trunks on ourselves through the whole city. And third, I love you. You are very dear to me. I'm sad to fall asleep without you. Give me a second chance? I invite you on a date to our cafe today at 20:00!”

Kostya's heart trembled, he came to the meeting. He also loved Anya. Since then, they began to talk to each other and discuss everything that offended them. And this helps them a lot to avoid quarrels.

Is it possible to bewitch a man?

If a man does not go to the conversation or does not accept any arguments, then it seems that the only remaining remedy is a love spell. But it’s not for nothing that they say that you won’t be forced to be nice. Even if you manage to bewitch a man, this relationship will be flawed.

First, they are built on deception. After all, he did not voluntarily agree to a love spell? Usually, spells are cast at night, and the potion or powder must be secretly poured into food or drink.

Secondly, here the driving force of the relationship is not love, but a sense of ownership or pride. How dare he leave me? I'm so beautiful. He will still be with me, you never know what he wants!

Thirdly, when someone interferes with his own destiny, he upsets the balance. That is, if a woman and a man are destined to part, then to meet their halves and live happily with them, then now this path is closed to them. It is likely that the characters of men and women will also change. And it is likely that one day she realizes that she does not need this person, she no longer appreciates and respects him. And he won't move away from her. Then you have to make a lapel?

To do a love spell or not, the woman decides. But before you dare to take such a desperate step, you should weigh and think over all the circumstances at least 100 times. And maybe it's better to conquer fate. It is likely that soon she will turn so that the woman will meet her other half. And now with this man she will become a truly happy woman.