How to survive a breakup with a loved one? Your affection is tested for the feelings and sensations that you experienced before with a partner, and not for the person himself. Don't let yourself slide into an emotional hole after a breakup.

22.04.2019

The situation of separation from loved ones is familiar, perhaps, to everyone. Many overcome this with a calm soul and quickly find themselves a new passion. And someone has to long time to suffer. Because of this, the question: "how to survive a breakup with a loved one" excites many people.

Saying goodbye to a loved one is always painful. Emotional pain and apathy faithful companions separation. It is much more difficult to get used to this thought when you have already become emotionally attached, "attached" to another. How to easily survive parting with a loved one? The advice of a psychologist can help in this difficult matter.

Parting at the peak of feelings is tantamount to surgery without anesthesia.
Oksana NeRobkaya. Have a banker. Stolichnaya love story

Breakup Formula

Experts have deduced the so-called "parting formula". According to her, the initiator of separation leaves only 1/3 of negative emotions (resentment, bitterness, etc.) for himself, and the remaining 2/3 remains for the one who was abandoned. However, those who are still faced with such a situation are no longer up to calculations. Here to cope with their surging emotions.

In this case, the advice of psychologists will come in handy. They will help you calm down and build a clear plan of action, and will allow you not to fall into. Thanks to such advice, a person in short time will be able to feel spiritual relief and open up to a new and beautiful.

Experts say that the period of separation experience can occur before three years- it all depends on the psychotype of a person. How to survive parting with a loved one easily?

What exactly NOT to do

Certain stereotypes have formed in our society. This also applies to how it is easier to survive parting with a loved one. In most cases, these tips only exacerbate the initial situation. Here are the most common "recommendations":

Instantly forget in the arms of another / other.
The most popular and destructive mistake among people going through a breakup. It is possible that in the first moments it will become easier. But this is not a panacea for sadness. Subsequently, you will only drive yourself more into depression.
Look for salvation in alcohol.
In addition to the fact that it is harmful to health, such a hobby will not bring moral satisfaction. As a result, in the morning you will wake up not only with the same thoughts, but also with a headache.
Disable all communications. Isolate yourself from society.
Remember that your family and friends need you. Forget about them long time not worth it.
To think that this is a temporary separation.
It happened and must be accepted. given fact. Let this person go, do not hold a grudge or anger on him.
Don't fall for the tricks of your brain.
Our mind is a complex and multifaceted thing. And, sometimes, when we don’t even want to think about something or completely forget, the brain can suddenly give us “lost” information.

After parting, memories from the past can very often pop up in my head: how good it was with your loved one. Actually, it's just an illusion. And there is no need to try to return something.

Switch to what you are really interested in in the present. Over time, these thoughts will either go away altogether, or will no longer bother you so much.

And what about after?

Above, we examined the main stages that will help women and men to painlessly survive a breakup. But what to do after these steps? Psychologists have a few tips for this question:

Find an interesting hobby for yourself. No matter how trite it may sound, but hobbies contribute to improving mood, as well as expanding the worldview. You will not notice how you will feel a surge of new strength and a desire to create something new and interesting. In addition, many hobbies will contribute to new acquaintances. For example, dancing is one of the most popular modern hobbies. With this activity, it is possible to kill "two birds with one stone" at once: to keep your body in great shape and meet interesting people.
Change your perception. As already mentioned, do not rush into a new relationship immediately after breaking up. Separation also has its advantages. You will have time to think about your mistakes and what you can change in yourself. In addition, this is a great opportunity to understand more what kind of person you need for happiness. You now have plenty of time to analyze your actions.
About the change of scenery. Highly actionable advice. If possible, change your usual environment. Move to another city or country. Such trips help to conduct better introspection, and unnecessary thoughts are guaranteed to disappear from your head.
Plan out your life. Previously, you had common life goals and landmarks for two. Now you are alone with yourself, it's time to reconsider your views and priorities.

The worst part of a breakup is not the breakup itself.
And the fact that they constantly repeat to you that you made a mistake.
And as a result, you stop trusting yourself for a while.
Kristen Stewart

healing week

Today, among psychologists, the so-called 7-day plan is very popular. It is necessary to build a clear structure of your actions for the week, to drive yourself into the framework. Here rough plan actions that make it easier to survive parting with a loved one. And at the same time develop self-discipline.

1st day. Start keeping a diary. great way express all your emotions. Write down your daily experiences. Over time, you will be able to trace the gradation of self-improvement. With each week, emotions will become more positive.
2nd day. Give yourself a present. It doesn't matter if it's a trip to the hairdresser, a day at the spa, or a trip to an amusement park. the main objective such a day - relaxation and pleasant emotions.
3rd day. Review your diet and exercise. It is not necessary to go on a strict diet and disappear for days on end gym. Morning exercises will be appropriate, which will then become a habit. It is enough to start every day with 10 minutes of light exercise, and the flow of endorphins will rush into your blood. It clears my head unnecessary thoughts and you can focus on the things that really matter.
4th day. Appearance. It has already been said above that appearance must always be neat. This gives confidence. After separation, the desire to take care of yourself often disappears. Get over it and remember that looking great is daily labor which is necessary under any circumstances.
5th day. Arrange a field trip. A small picnic will help you relax and put things in order.
6th day. Spend time with friends. Don't lock yourself in. Communication will help not to lose heart, to be distracted.
7th day. End the week with something fun. It doesn't matter if it's reading, cooking or watching TV shows.

As you can see, many of the advice of psychologists intersect with each other. Somewhere there are differences, however, they have the same basis.

Of all the tips, the following main points can be distinguished:

1. Put a bold point

This is tricky step. Especially in the first month. It is necessary with a calm soul to let go of the person, and yourself too. To understand that life goes on and there are many new and interesting things ahead. It is important to recognize that from now on, you and your previous partner have very different lives.

2. Drive away persistent thoughts

Also not the easiest step. It is not worth falling into despair. You can mourn quite a bit in order to throw out your negative emotions.

On this life stage auto-training is useful. Praise yourself for any little things, admire yourself. Life is Beautiful!

3. Say no to hate

One of the most common mistakes is to hate the one with whom the separation happened. Yes, breakups are different. But anger is not worth it. This is a page turned, so try to let this person go by wishing him happiness from the bottom of your heart.

Forgive your ex / ex, because anger and hatred will become a real hindrance to new feelings. Reflect on your mistakes and do not blame your ex-chosen one.

4. You must understand that you cannot return the past

Constant looking back will only cause harm in the form of deep depression. It will be quite difficult at first. But, having overcome yourself, you will soon realize that living in the present and thinking about the future is wonderful.

Separation from loved ones is always sad. And for many it is very difficult. To the obvious question in such a situation, “How to survive parting with a loved one?” advice from a psychologist can provide an answer.

The end of a relationship is not the end, but the very beginning for a new life, new discoveries and adventures. Remember this and be happy.

Question for readers

How did you feel about parting with your loved one? Was it very difficult?

The end of a relationship is always hard, whether it was your decision or your partner's. You are in pain and you want it to end soon. There are several ways that can help you cope and move on: describe your feelings, allow yourself to grieve, take your time to enter a new relationship. Remember that time heals and be patient. If it doesn’t get better with time, you can always turn to family and friends for support, and, if necessary, to a psychotherapist.

Steps

Move on

Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to remain friends, you should stop all communication immediately after the breakup. No meetings with him and even with members of his family, no calls, emails, SMS, messages in Skype or Facebook. This does not mean that you should never talk again, but communication should be stopped until you finally get over the breakup.

If he or she is trying to convince you to see each other, honestly ask yourself what the point is. If the meeting makes you mentally return to the past, it will be too easy to succumb to a momentary impulse - but the more difficult it is to reconcile again.
If contact is unavoidable for reasons practical- for example, you need to transport your things from your partner, sign documents, etc. - try to reduce communication to absolutely necessary minimum. Keep calls or meetings short and to the point.

Organize your living space. A breakup can herald a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and putting things in order in your personal space will give you fresh strength and readiness for a new life. Clutter is depressing, depressing, and adds to the stress you already feel. Cleaning does not require serious mental effort, but still you have to concentrate on it and, therefore, be distracted from painful experiences.
- Clean up your room, put up new posters, clear your computer desktop of unnecessary icons. No matter how insignificant cleaning may seem to you, after it you will feel better.
Let go of the things that bring up painful memories. Many things will remind you of your ex - songs, smells, sounds, places. When they surround you, it's harder to heal from a breakup. Remove all the things that make your heart ache. Getting rid of them can really work wonders.
- if you have memorable gift from a former partner, for example, watches or jewelry, there is nothing wrong with keeping it. However, try to remove it away and not get it until the relationship finally recedes into the past for you.
Get out of the house and live full life. After the end of a relationship, it is normal to spend some time at home, alone with yourself. However, having dealt with feelings, you should no longer hide from the outside world. Plan, spend time with friends, have fun! You may feel awkward at first, but over time this will pass and you will feel better. Getting out of the house and doing something is very important, because after a breakup, you need to grow and maintain your social circle in order to move forward.
- Don't feel like you have to constantly spend time with other people. Get out to do the things you love and enjoy the freedom. Go to your favorite cafe, go shopping or take a mini-vacation.
Don't jump head first into a new relationship. Often, after a breakup, people immediately enter into a new relationship in order to forget the previous ones. However, this idea is not always reasonable. When you start dating someone too soon, you may just be trying to suppress negative emotions with the excitement and excitement that a new relationship brings you. However, if they turn out to be a failure, the pain of two breakups will fall on you at once. It is better to be without a partner for a while, until you get over the emotions and are really ready to start over.

Keep taking care of yourself. After a break, a person can often give up on himself, but this will not bring relief. Don't forget the simple things that keep you physically, mentally and state of mind. If you didn't take enough care of yourself before the end of the relationship, now is the time to fix it. Try to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. physical exercise to feel your best.

Break away from your usual routine. Perhaps after the end of the relationship, you need to give up your relationship for a while. normal mode. This can help you deal with your feelings and cope better later on. Most importantly, don't do anything that will jeopardize your relationships with other people or your way of making a living.
- For example, you can skip a week at the gym without much consequences, but you can’t abandon work for a week. If you and your friends have plans and want to cancel them before you recover, explain the situation honestly.
Allow yourself to mourn broken relationships. The end of a relationship leaves a huge void in your heart, and it can take quite a while for it to close. Be sure to allow yourself to grieve the loss and experience the pain; if you ignore it and keep it to yourself, then only delay the return to normal life. Cry, sob, scream - spill it all negative emotions out.

Surround yourself with people who can support you. You need people around you who love you and help you feel better. When you are surrounded by friends and family who are full of sympathy and ready to help, you will not feel like a worthless person, and your life will soon return to normal.
- Don't be afraid to ask friends and family for support if you need to speak up or cry on someone's shoulder.
Find a way to soothe yourself without harming your health. Your first impulse may be to ignore the pain or drown it out with alcohol, drugs, or food, but that's not the answer. Say a firm no to these destructive ways of coping with pain. Instead, try to find ways that will lead you to real recovery and even growth.
- Try to find a new hobby to keep you busy while you recover. Sign up for a course, join a club, learn something on your own. Passion for a new thing will allow you to regain confidence in yourself, take your mind off your worries for a while, and help build self-esteem by knowing that you have learned something interesting or useful.
See a therapist if the pain is too severe. Most often, people are able to recover on their own after a breakup, but not everyone has this ability. If you can't handle emotional pain or you feel depressed as a result of the breakup, seek professional help as soon as possible.

Work on feelings

Think about your relationship. Consider all the reasons why you and your ex broke up. Accept the fact that while you were good together for a while, things ended up going wrong. Analyzing the reasons for the breakup will help you understand why you need to move on. In addition, if you figure out how you yourself influenced the end of the relationship, this will help you avoid the same mistakes in the future. Ask yourself the following questions.

Did my behavior cause us to break up? If yes, what exactly did I do?
Do I have a tendency to choose partners of the same type? If yes, what do they have in common? Are they suitable for me? Why?
Have I had similar problems in previous relationships? If so, why do I constantly encounter them? What can I do differently next time?

Write about your feelings. Start a diary or try writing poetry. Most importantly, be honest and do not correct what is written. One of the advantages of this method is that by putting the problem on paper, you can suddenly see it from the inside, penetrating to the core. Cause and effect relationships will become clearer, and as the bitterness of the loss subsides, it will be much easier for you to learn valuable life lessons from what happened.

How to determine when you need to come to terms with parting and when you need to do everything to return a person? Is the fear of losing a person and living without him (her) a cowardice? How to get rid of this fear?

Answer

Here you need to look not at the time, but at the reason for the separation. Maybe her bone is walking and did not succumb to temptations, or already ex-boyfriend looked least like a man (no offense, of course). As you can see, for a full answer to this question, it is necessary to understand the reasons for the breakup, how serious they are for both parties in a couple. As usual, there are very few reasons for these - like the differences between the films of Zhora Kryzhovnikov. No, really, looking at the faces of the same actors, filmed on a shaking camera, which are sure to swell according to the script, from time to time is simply unbearable.

It is even more unbearable to look at the causes of the gaps, because everything is eerily trivial:
- One of you cheated on someone (or Great love was not, or one of you considered treason acceptable, and the other did not);
- Did not live up to expectations (it sounds like you swore to your comrade general secretary to overtake the damned Pindos in the space race, but in reality you simply did not take her to the sea and did not find a normal job, as promised);
- They turned out to be too different (at first it seemed that you were a couple, but then it turned out that she loves cats, and you love dogs, she loves milk, and you love rum, she loves to walk around shopping malls, and you - to masturbate and let the "water" behind the garages. And in general, you annoy each other so much that you are looking for a reason to see each other less often);
- You are infantile (spending money on Lego instead of a gift for her is an understandable act, but not a guarantee strong relationship);
— love boat crashed into everyday life (it turns out that living without a mother is difficult, and seeing each other with unwashed head and listening to complaints about dirty dishes and not thrown garbage is even more difficult);
- You have different goals (she is unbearable to marry, but you want to sing funny songs about shit and gays and getting a second higher education).

Etc.

The main thing is to remember that you cannot reunite, guided only by feelings. Remember that feelings and emotions always cool down over time. You love her, but she doesn't love you. And is it worth joining for?

If a person betrayed you, then you do not need to return him in any case. It is strictly prohibited. You can give as much right as you like to make a mistake, but if it comes back to you, it’s not out of love, but because others have it worse.

There are women who provide magical influence even on the most strong men. They change them beyond recognition, if only they are comfortable, they inspire that their goals and dreams are Kindergarten, and they themselves determine with whom to communicate and what to strive for. They throw tantrums, provocations, criticize your choice and say what is best. Women talk about such "They made their husbands." I'll tell you this: if you're lost in space, you don't have willpower, you don't know what you want, then this one will suit you. Otherwise, women who are trying to manipulate your life are better off letting go.

Well, in other cases, without analysis in any way. Analyze the relationship, try to look at it from the outside in order to understand whether it is worth fighting for them, or whether they have really become obsolete. Even if she herself initiated your reunion, do not rush to meet her with an idiot smile and open arms. remember folk wisdom: if happiness itself floats into your hands, then do not flatter yourself - it is quite possible that it does not sink.

If you understand that her fault is only that she loved you, and you did only what you wanted, then ask yourself a wise and insightful question: are you ready to give up comfort and your lifestyle for her? Because you can't rekindle a relationship previous conditions, it will end the same.

Change and sacrifice are the main criteria. If you are ready to go for them, if you do not value your dream and are ready to throw your past under her feet with friends and carefree drunkenness, then we can talk about returning under the wing. Otherwise, this relationship will torment both of you.

When you yourself become the cause of the breakup, it seems that you are ready for anything, just to get her back. At this moment, it is very important to drive away dramatic lice from yourself (they spread a deplorable state, the desire to whine and blame yourself) and think with a fresh mind whether such a future suits you. But sometimes it's just impossible to understand. It seems that you are ready, it even seems that it will be better for you, but until you try, you will not understand. Therefore, if you are drawn in such a way that you count birch trees under the window instead of sleeping and are ready to become a fluffy snow leopard in her tenacious paws, then it is probably better to try first.

Relationships should not be taken lightly, without desire. This is a very sticky thing: once you get into it, and then you think how to scrape it off so as not to embarrass the person.

Well, let's not idealize women. Not all of them are ready to change. And why do you need these? Have pride, young man.

Perhaps you will be flattened not like a child, and you will understand that a formal and smart calculation is inferior to emotions. Believe me, if you reunite, then there will be more doubts. Don't forget, time heals everything. Only in order to feel its healing effect, you need to wipe off the snot and start living.

Fear of loss - normal phenomenon. Especially if the person becomes dear to you. Like it or not, we all get used to, become attached to people. The question is what drives you. What is it - a simple habit and fear of being alone? Or, perhaps, the fear of losing this particular person, because he is dear to you and loved? There is nothing shameful in being afraid of losing the most precious thing in life.

This fear will not exist if there is peace and quiet in your relationship. The main thing is to have trust, mutual understanding, less swearing and ... But highlight this especially for yourself: try to realize yourself as a person, and not at the expense of relationships. This is the trouble of many couples, and especially housewives. In a profession, in a hobby - anywhere, and not just as a lover-boyfriend-cohabitant.

Or forget about it and find yourself new girlfriend. Then you won't care who takes it, be it dogs or your dad's neighbor.

Each of us at least once heard painfully cruel words - "let's part." Yesterday, dearly beloved, such close person I was happy with you, but today I decided to leave, destroying all plans and faith in a joint future. Despair, resentment, indescribable pain settle in the soul, gradually destroying it. Ahead of sleepless nights, inconsolable tears and the only question: "How to survive this moment, what to do next?".

It is possible to cope with the current situation, it is enough to make a little effort and finally come to terms with the fact that a loved one is no longer around. Almost all psychologists advise letting go of the departed, finding in parting positive points. It's not as difficult as it might seem. Life is not over, it is just beginning, there is much more ahead of you pleasant meetings and good impressions.

Why is it so hard to get over a breakup?

When a loved one leaves you, you get a severe emotional trauma that is not easy to survive. Psychologists claim that the main reasons for such a reaction are:

True love - it is this feeling that inflicts the greatest wound, because a person completely surrenders to wonderful sensations, not even suspecting that the chosen one can do this. It will take a long time to come to terms with the loss, maybe even several years.
Strong attachment to each other - long years together leave an imprint in memory. It is extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that everything is over and the moments experienced will never happen again.
Fear of being alone - an abandoned person is very worried about this, his self-esteem deteriorates sharply. After parting, unhappy thoughts appear: “Suddenly, I will never be happy again and will be alone forever.” Such thoughts interfere with surviving the current situation, oppress and overtake a strong melancholy.
The desire to suffer - a person forces himself to experience various situations, listens to sad music, constantly remembering joyful, happy Days spent together, These thoughts take us back to a past that will never be again. Such a state prevents recovery, oppresses, causes severe harm psyche.

Experts are convinced that the departed is much easier to endure parting. This is due to his own initiative and deliberation. decision. That is, for him this is a serious step, which he himself decided to take, weighed all the pros and cons.

Anger, resentment and anger are caused by the realization of the fact that the once loved one did not want to be there and continue the relationship. It is this moment that is very touching, delivering maximum suffering. Usually a man is calm and restrained, controls himself, does not show his emotions. He had long gone through the pain of parting when he decided for himself that he needed to end the relationship.

A woman is more emotional, she is inclined to create a family where harmony, comfort and mutual understanding reign. She puts her husband and children in the first place, their well-being, home comfort not your own happiness. If a woman is deprived of this opportunity, misunderstanding and feelings of guilt arise - “What did I do wrong, why did this happen to me?”

Experiments are more important for a man, he is always ready for changes and new relationships, so he most often leaves the family. He ponders his decision for years and at one point is ready to cross out everything. Even if the other half tries to soften the blow, there will be no less suffering.

There are times when a couple mutually decided to leave. Both people noticed that feelings have cooled, they have exhausted themselves. This situation obliges them to disperse, because people are unhappy together, so it’s time for them to look for new ways separately. If after a while love does not return, then the relationship should not be continued.

Negative emotions last about six months. The spiritual wound gradually heals and only occasionally makes itself felt. Soon, the abandoned person himself wonders why he was so worried, what was special about the relationship? A completely different story when it comes to a couple who has lived for more than 10 years. They are tied mutual friends, children, relatives.

Former spouses in the first year do not even think about starting a new relationship. It seems to them that there will be no more happiness, and after a couple of years they realize how insignificant the problem was. Life goes on, the birds sing, the grass turns green, there is no more reason to suffer. This turning point is the first step in new life. Women begin to notice the opposite sex, sympathy appears, and the pain of separation is dulled. At the sight of the former, there is no longer a feeling of resentment, the wound has almost healed.

To make it easier to survive the breakup, experts recommend a sober assessment of the situation, accepting it as it is. It is enough to let go of the past, expel the negative and find positive moments in separation.

Breaking up protects you from false feelings. No one needs a relationship that has been exhausted for a long time. Indifference on the part of the chosen one will bring even more suffering. Now you know people better and understand life. It is necessary to treat the problem as another test that fate presented. If this happens, then you the right way and happiness will soon overtake you.

Separation is easier to survive if you follow these tips:

Let go of the past - if a person decided so, he had reasons for that. Understand that the beloved must be allowed to go. Yes, it will be painful, difficult, insulting, but it is important to get any thoughts about the past out of your head, forbid yourself to even remember that time. It's not easy, but it's possible;
Rid yourself of negativity this feeling bad for overall health. You need to forget about resentment, pain, hatred that burns from the inside, Throw away all thoughts about the person who trampled your soul and heart. Memories only harm, cause new tears and a wave of disappointment;
Convince yourself that happiness is “just around the corner” - you can’t lie in bed and shed tears, you need to understand that a breakup is the end of a relationship, but also the beginning of something new. It is important to believe that you can still be loved. Enjoy simple things, believe in a miracle;
Communicate - do not avoid acquaintances, walk with friends, go to visit relatives. Communication and support of loved ones helps to cope with any grief. Tell them about your feelings, share your experiences, open your soul, and relief will surely come.

It all depends on you, draw conclusions and continue to live.

How to recover after a breakup if the relationship was long

A marriage that lasts for many years most often breaks up due to betrayal, cooled feelings or mutual misunderstanding. It is very difficult to survive such stress, because in addition to love, there is also attachment, a habit. Our subconscious refuses to accept the situation. We are on psychological level We cannot imagine life without a loved one.

But, this is exactly what needs to be done - to accept, to cast aside all illusions, to learn to live independently. It is not necessary to completely forget a person, it is enough to let him go and accept the gap as a given. To make it easier to accept a breakup, refer to proven methods:

Change your appearance. As psychologists say, a cardinal reincarnation helps to recover. You can change your wardrobe, hair color, haircut, throw away all the old things and buy new ones. Go to the salon, any girl feels calm and at ease there.
Start pet. An affectionate cat or a playful dog cheer up, eliminating the feeling of loneliness. You will know that someone is waiting for you at home, and your pet is always glad to see you back.
Go in for sports. Regular exercise or a morning run returns strength, energy and good spirits. If you keep yourself in good shape, you will feel confident and attractive.
Read. Positive literature changes the view of the world, gives good emotions, inspires. Choose classics or psychology. With the help of the book, you can reconsider the situation, evaluate the behavior of people in different situations, forget about disorders, learn to build life in a new way.
Shopping. Shopping helps fight stress by having a positive effect on psychological condition. You will be distracted from what happened and will be able to survive a difficult time much easier. Even better, go to the store with your girlfriends.
Start the renovation. Changing the interior has a good effect on the emotional state. You have the opportunity to radically change your life and living conditions. Change everything from wallpaper to furniture so that nothing else reminds you of your loved one.
Diversify your leisure time. Don't shut yourself up, visit public places. Cultural development gives inspiration, brings you closer to the beautiful, spiritually develops. No need to stand in one place, improve.
Take a trip. New places allow you to experience unforgettable emotions. long trip gives an opportunity to reflect, to see that somewhere life is in full swing, it continues, no matter what. Analyze why a loved one left, what needed to be changed, and how to avoid mistakes in a future relationship.
Meet new people. Now more than ever, you need communication. Organize a party, have fun and relax. This method allows you to return the desire to live.

Coping with a breakup is not easy, sometimes you have to completely change your habits and worldview. It is important to understand that nothing can be returned, you will have to live differently, without that person. Stop looking for someone to blame and stop blaming yourself. Forget about it soon. Perhaps later you will become friends, but now it is useless. The main goal is to realize what happened and learn to live independently.

Forgive all offenses, accept the decision of the second half, get rid of anger and hatred. All you need to do is accept, because there is nothing to return. Put not commas, but bold points, then reconciliation with the situation will come faster.

You need to understand that very rare relationship last your whole life!
Sooner or later, some kind of discord or rupture may occur in you, and you will part.
There must be an understanding that in this world, in principle, there is nothing so super stable that it would never go away and collapse.

Understanding this 1 piece of advice from a psychologist on how to get over a breakup with a loved one greatly reinforces your knowledge.

2. Find your favorite activity that you want to do and be passionate about wholeheartedly and with great passion

With regards to your life in general, finding your occupation that you want to do, you want to live and be passionate about it - it strongly reinforces you emotionally and from all sides!
Having it, you will not be so jarred and thrown into a panic at some kind of loss, even if you broke up with your loved one.
Your favorite hobby, occupation, your own way, the energy and passion invested in it recharges you very much, gives you a purpose in life, gives a feeling of pleasure and enjoyment from life.
Thanks to them, you forget about the gray everyday life, completely penetrate the process, forgetting everyday trifles and breaks. You no longer worry about what to do if you get dumped or how to get over it.
Having broken the relationship, now you can fully immerse yourself in your favorite business and fully stay and grow with it further.
For example, it can be your projects, business ideas, events, your creativity, financial plans, hobbies and favorite sports. Who cares what.

Always remember your favorite hobby and passion, put it in the first place now, and then you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with your girlfriend or young man.

3. Realize that relationships in any scenario cannot be a mission and goal in life

Social programming suggests that supposedly relationships is the most important part of life. That is, people make building relationships the main component of life. This is a very common thing that can be seen now.
She's so Hollywood and from the movies or from some hidden childhood dreams. It occurs in both men and women. And if you do not get rid of this illusion, you will still need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a loved one.
There is another wrong belief among people. People come to their soulmate as if under the bosom of a tree from work or study with the conviction "and here it will be good for me."
And if this happens in your head, then, as a rule, this does not justify hopes.
Sooner or later the illusions will collapse. To some extent, people can create this illusion for each other, then it all crumbles to smithereens.

Relationships are definitely important.

In them we can realize ourselves, allow another person to realize themselves, improve emotional contact with a partner, to make your life and his life easier.

But in general, they cannot be a mission.

Relationships in any scenario cannot be a mission in life!

Illusions of girls

On the part of girls, such a thing is present in the head more often. And so they often need help and various councils a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a beloved man.

Girls elevate relationships to a higher rank because they have such biological factor like a family and a child.

Your jamb is that you had to be distracted from clinging hard to relationships and making them a goal in life.

This will only make it worse for you, because sooner or later the illusions will begin to break, and you will again think about what to do when your loved one has left you.

4. Don't let yourself slide into an emotional hole after a breakup.

It is very important when such breaks occur. and critical moments is not to let yourself slide into an emotional hole. Some people get depressed. You can learn about ways to get rid of depression. They can last not one day, but even a week or two. This can really undermine you.
Emotionally, the problem can be quite trifling. But, for example, a man can so emotionally slide into this gap that he will have a desire to go to the mountains, become a monk and do nothing else in this life or go headlong into business, forgetting about women altogether.
Although it's not really all that serious.. Anything happens. Do not wind yourself up, do not make an elephant out of a fly and know everything about how to survive a breakup with a girl after long relationship or many years of marriage.

5. First solve the psychological problem: do not go to extremes and run to look for a new partner

After a breakup, you may get the feeling that you supposedly need to solve everything at once right now.

Problems need to be dealt with as they come up.

You don't have to decide everything at once.

First find harmony with yourself and solve the problem inside

If you have unstable emotional condition, depression, then deal with it first.

Some people go to extremes after a breakup and quickly run to look for a new partner.

And this is supposed to be the solution to the problem. This supposedly closes questions about how to survive the pain of parting with a loved one.

Is this a solution?

What mistakes do people make?

People just put a band-aid on their mental wound, are looking for a replacement rather than dealing with themselves.

This throwing from one extreme to another does not end with anything good.

Accept the state in which you are now, see it and say to yourself: “Yes, now I am not quite in harmony with myself after the breakup. Well, nothing, I’ll first resolve this issue, and then we’ll see.”

Remember this and no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with your husband.

6. What Your Brain Can Do to You: The Broken Record Analogy

All your memories of past love when everything was good, blooming and smelling - this is just an appearance.
If that balance had been preserved, then it would have been true. And so it is an illusory appearance. It's already like broken record, which is also broken.
How is your brain playing with you? When you had a break and there were a lot of jambs that you don’t even really want to remember, your brain throws this hackneyed record at you.
You yourself put this broken record in your head, where it is no longer an even melody that plays, but an incomprehensible rattle sounds, a pathetic likeness of a melody and some unpleasant sounds.
This plate no longer needs to be repaired.!
You just need to find what you really need!
Don't even try to come back. It's not worth it.
Approach the situation soberly, and you will know everything about how to start living after parting with your loved one.

7. Let yourself go forever: there is nothing left to decide, no need to cling

Let yourself go forever.

Understand that there is nothing and no one to resolve.

Some of you screwed up and it is important to understand that this is normal.

As painful as it may feel, give yourself the opportunity to leave forever.

Just like your partner gives himself this opportunity.

Every girl and every guy gives himself this opportunity.

Understanding this will close your worries about thinking about how to get over the breakup with your loved ones.

8. Choose to be cool and not needy, remove expectations

A person who does not need is one who does not cling to other people, tends to give more than receive and never expects anything from this life! Strive to be.
A person who does not need does not think about what you will have in the future (even if there is a 99% guarantee, you do not tell others). You can say: "Yes, I have such plans ...". You're going to do it, but you don't live it.
You take what you have on this moment but you never expect something to happen in the future, good or bad. It's useless.
Those things that you can cling to in life can be so ephemeral and destructible.
your reality should not be based on something external!

A person who does not need does not need both things and people equally! The paradigm is that they are with them, but there is no fear of loss at all!

A person who does not need never asks questions about how to live after parting further.

A strong man is only glad that weak people walk out of his life.

It is harder for a woman to live like this, but it is possible. You don't have to hang on to people.

Women have a natural need for a man who will protect her, take care of her, they cling to men. This is their jamb!

On our site you can also read about how to get rid of attachment and love addiction.

9. In the next six months or a year, completely change the perception of relationships

After your breakup, do not immediately cling to a new person and do not try to make him immediately yours for a very long time.
Not to be confused with not communicating with anyone at all and not getting to know each other. No, you are still chatting and getting close to new people, enjoying the attraction between you.
But there should not be this desire to make a person his property for some long time.
You must remove the time frame where you begin to unconsciously drive a person.
Live like this for the next six months at least after the break. Then, after six months, based on internal sensations you can go back to long term relationship with one girl (man).

A subtle point to be implemented

Replace the desire to make a person your property with the desire to make him happy.

The best thing you can do for a partner is to let him live a full life, and you will be there with him when he and you want it.

You still sincerely love your partner, but do not try to keep him in any way.

You must live your life and provide a partner complete freedom choice.

Implement this perception and no longer worry about how to survive a breakup with a lover or your secret crush.

The difference between healthy and unhealthy needs

There shouldn't be any border and understanding that the person is yours.
And then you can always go further in terms of developing your spirituality, your level of happiness and harmony.
Yes, you may have a certain percentage of need in a new relationship, but this healthy need, — when you just want to see a person(no matter how you spend your time). Just want to be together.

10. Ask yourself: “Are your feelings and the image of your ex-partner real, or is it your subjective perception?”

Ask yourself questions:

Is it real that former partner gives you some feelings, or is it your subjective perception that paints them that way, making it special?
If a guy's perception of an ex-girlfriend as "special", "giving everyone love" and "increasing well-being" was real, then why don't all guys perceive her that way?
Why doesn't any of the other people on the planet now around his ex-girlfriend feel better about it as a guy?

Answer

The way the guy perceives ex girlfriend so cool - this is his personal subjective perception of the girl.

No one else sees her that way except him.

All other people see the same girl, the same appearance, her same face, but their well-being does not improve in any way!

And it is very important to realize this in order to close the worries about how it is easier to survive parting with a loved one.

You yourself draw an addition to the image of the former, it does not come from him in any way

The guy's just attached to those old emotions tactile sensations and the past pleasures they gave each other. His perception paints her somehow special, as if she has a halo over her head.
The same can be said about former men, for which women continue to dry unrequitedly. Your remaining love after a breakup is only your personal subjective appearance.
You yourself and your perception of feelings draws such an addition to former person. This addition itself does not come from your ex-partner.
This image that your perception paints for you does not exist in reality. Keep this in mind and close all your questions about how to survive the pain of parting with married man or the one with whom sooner or later you would have to part.

11. Your affection is tested for the feelings and sensations that you experienced before with a partner, and not for the person himself.

Understand that you are attached to the feeling, not to the person himself.

This feeling is drawn by your personal subjective perception.

Understand this and you will feel much better.

ask yourself:

Why don't you feel this way about yourself?
Why does it occur only in relation to other people?

The answer is that you just don't love yourself.

People do not love themselves and, as a result, need outside help, they ask for advice from a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a husband, boyfriend or female person.

12. Love yourself truly

When you fall in love with yourself for real, your total love will be much stronger than the feelings for the former person.

Your love for yourself will be the strongest and strongest. No feelings can absorb and bind you.

And then you will already forget about attachment to feelings, you will give more to this world.

And then people will start reaching out to you.

Now you know everything from psychology on the topic of how to survive a breakup with a loved one, and you don’t need any forums.

If you integrate these understandings into your life, then thoughts like “would rather move away after a painful breakup” will no longer arise in your head.

You will remove a lot of pain and suffering from relationships and begin to look at things more objectively.

This is your life, make the right choice!