7 year old says he can't hear. Why do children not hear us or do not want to hear? Why can't I hear in only one ear?

22.04.2019

Hello dear mothers! Have you often asked yourself the question: "Well, why do I have to repeat everything twenty times ?!" I ask myself this question very often. And then, one day, I came across an interesting article in the magazine "My Child". The article was written by the founder of the club "Family from A to Z" - Valentina Chichkun. A good, well-written article, but for me it caused a lot of contradictions inside.
Valentina described three reasons for the "deafness" of our beloved children. This is fear, lack of interest and protest.
What, in her opinion, is the reason for the fear of our kids? Think of yourself in a situation where you are afraid of someone or afraid of looking bad in the eyes of someone. What do you experience? You seem to be dumbfounded in front of your eyes. You forget words, you can't understand simple things, you miss what they tell you... The same thing happens to a child if the parent is very demanding and irritable.
Valentina also explains the lack of interest in an original way. The child may be busy with something at this moment. For example, a girl was so carried away building a house for a doll that she really did not hear her mother's words about dinner. Or, Valentina offers to remember her husband when you asked him to fix the hanger while watching football match. And we, mothers, Valentina asks if we would quit an interst conversation on the phone if her husband asked to urgently find the keys to the car ... Are we really so unfairly demanding of our children ???? Do we see soldiers in our children???? And, are we really trying to accustom them to the rule "The parent is always right!"
The protest of our kids for Valentina is precisely against overprotection, against constant remarks and explanations. It can be pronounced "Well, mom!" or silent "I just can't hear you." We often see how the baby runs to the road, not hearing the mother's warnings. Or how a teenager chats with peers, not paying attention to the calls of his father. What do we as parents do when we similar situations? Most often we get angry or give up: "What to do, it can outgrow!" Will not outgrow. Respect does not appear in a vacuum. While the child is small, it is easy for us to put pressure on him and force him to do what we want. However, when he grows up, he understands that he can not depend on us, the pressure of pressure goes away, and respect, as it never happened, will never be.
Valentina proposes to get out of this situation by mutual experience of perception. And the first duty is to determine the cause. If we see fear in the eyes of a child, we are advised to lower the demands, not to punish the child, and not to use a commanding tone that turns into a shout. And more often caress the child and not make him an object of demand.
Do not restrict the child's freedom of action because of the parent's own fear for the child's safety. Such a fear - to do something wrong, is born in a person who does not have the experience of accepting independent decisions. Valentina is advised to remove the burden of demands and ambitions from the fragile shoulders of the child, and then he will become more relaxed and free, which will improve his intellectual abilities....
Valentina advises penetrating into the world of your child's interests, constantly depicting our involvement in everything the baby is doing ... And, for example, do not force the baby to listen to you read a book to him, but sit aside and start reading. And then, Valentina writes, the child will come to you…
Offers to reduce our guardianship, because the child no longer has the strength to respond to constant jerking (there is a car, there is a dog, here are the steps, the hatch is open) She calls such mothers “saws” and in family life constantly reminding her husband what to do ...
But these tips are suitable for the mother of an average child in all respects. But for parents special kids, characterized by pronounced hyperactivity, well, just the same - some kind of insult!
My Nikita is hyperactive four year old. He started talking at three and a half, because he had no time to talk ... At four months, he destroyed the bed with his feet, at six months he was sitting by the new bedside table under the TV, sorting through his father's CDs and just accidentally tore out the glass door of a completely new strong cabinet ... I tried to read books to him and cast and in the game and for it soft toys and sitting on the sidelines, trying to get his attention. It did not interest him, it took a lot of his precious time from him. He snatched out a book, leafed through it all in a couple of minutes and put it aside. He listened to the first fairy tale "Teremok" (thank God) at the age of four. Now he knows only “Teremok”, “Kolobok”, “Rocked Hen” and “Tsokotukha Fly” and I consider this a great achievement. I started to prepare him for school ... We take him to classes twice a week and naturally do homework. I'm trying to present everything artistically, having interested the baby, without shouting and reproaches. But if I used only these methods all the time, he would take classes for a game (I want to play, I want to not) and sooner or later he would say that he was tired ... A couple of times I had to introduce him into that stupor that Valentina wrote about. Let it be at that moment, my exactingness was ineffectual, but he remembered that it was better to take lessons with me, then there would be no such discomfort. Isn't that how you earn the respect of a child? Are we supposed to be forever playing girlfriends?
I also liked the lack of interest. It's strange that mom demands to go to dinner, right? This summer, Nikita did not go to the garden, and at first we had problems with breakfast, lunch and dinner. There was even a scandal with my husband about that (well, the child doesn’t want to, let him play, eat when he wants and what he wants). You know, dear mothers, it offended me so much that I let it take its course. The result is that all summer I ate one potato with cucumbers and sometimes boiled beetroot, well, he also loves red borscht ... And in between, he demanded cookies, a bun with butter, and, of course, sausage. Moreover, on demand, after everyone had eaten an hour later, I had to do and give him only what he wanted. He does not tolerate meat, fish, eggs, milk, berries or fruits. He starts vomiting directly. And no cutlets, meatballs can be deceived, and no amount of sugar in strawberries will save. No matter how I peel and cut peaches with apples and pears, and no matter what I water (even beat) in my mouth, I will take it. And what time was it (what rosy cheeks) when one year old baby I didn’t ask, but fed according to the regimen and what was needed. Now we are saving ourselves with vitamins and are under Nikita's heel. And it would be right not to enter into his position through complete mutual interest, and so, everyone and everyone had breakfast. If you haven't eaten, then don't give anything until dinner. He doesn’t want to eat at lunch what everyone ate, not to give anything until dinner (despotically, not on the advice of our humane psychologists), but in my opinion this is more correct. Where is the respect? I do what he wants, I'm interested in what he loves to the detriment of him ....
I was especially struck by Valentina's words about overprotection! Yes, was she ever close to such a baby as Nikita! Maybe there are mothers who are unnecessarily cowardly over absolutely adequate children, preventing them from going down the steps and calmly entering ankle-deep into the sea. Causing mental disorders in children with their constant fear. And in my case, it’s just a crime not to pull me up all the time. My child knows no fear at all. Is it good or dangerous? Imagine that he is sitting in the Dolphinarium in last row, being already four years old, the whole idea wanted to jump into the sea to swim. And he was interested in the pool with dolphins for exactly two minutes. The road is not an obstacle for him ... Water and depth do not matter. Yes, I do not leave him at all. And it’s only my merit that we never had anything sewn up ... On the slides, he only slides head down and tries to hang his legs on the highest point of the horizontal bars ... I already wrote in one of my articles that we only went swimming for a month, and on football even less. The swimming coach turned away behind the vest and the child almost jumped into the pool with a running start, he did not perform any exercises, but strove to swim away to the center, away from the coach. In football, he was interested in constantly running after the ball, but if it was necessary to do what the coach said, then he ran away to the horizontal bars and was called a dangerous fellow, sending him home to grow up ...
Yes, and my husband, for the whole summer of my requests to wash the carpet or take it to the dry cleaner, did it in September ... This is just one of the cases. So I had to wash the huge carpet myself? To not be a "saw"?
Do not instill in the child the rule "Parent is always right"? Deceive him by pretending that you both came to a decision to do it right? Show interest in his cars and cubes, one can agree with this, but wouldn't I be in the role of a girlfriend with his same level of intelligence? Or all the same strictness and perseverance should take place? And if you need to postpone the game and eat or do homework, then this is necessary. And then I'll caress and play. When he grows up, he will also not want to break away from the Internet and go to lectures, or even more so to work! Let's live in his interests?!
What is the reason for the "deafness" of our kids? And we weren't? And did our parents have articles by literate psychologists at hand, and free time to consider the interests of each of the five children? And why did we grow up so decent, educated and purposeful? After all, we were given so little time and so many demands! Yes, I would not allow myself in my childhood not to hear my mother's call for something............

Trouble came to the house ... It turned out that the child did not hear. Why did it happen? Will it effective treatment Will hearing improve? And if not, then what to do? How can you help such a child? These are difficult questions for parents of children with hearing impairments, and they can be extremely difficult to solve. Our consultant is a deaf teacher the highest category Zaporozhye Regional Psychological-Medical-Pedagogical Consultation Lyubov Markova.

For many years, communicating with parents of children with hearing impairment, we repeatedly encountered a situation where the diagnosis of hearing loss or deafness was established at the age of two or three years, although it was obvious that the child's hearing impairment was congenital or occurred in the first months of life. At the same time, the mother noticed for a long time that the baby did not respond to the name, she was worried that he did not speak. The mother went to the doctors, but she was reassured: "He's all right. He's just inattentive. Many children start talking after three years. Wait." Meanwhile, time passed, the child did not begin to speak, and only when he was three years old, was necessary examination and it became clear that the child was deaf.

The leading role in the early detection of hearing in children belongs, of course, to parents. They should pay attention to main features possible violation hearing in a child.

1. Does the baby startle at loud noises at two to three weeks of age?
2. Does she freeze at the sound of her voice at four to five weeks of age?
3. Does the voice of the mother at the age of one to three months quicken to the voice, without seeing her?
4. Does he turn his head at four months of age towards a sounding toy or mother's voice?
5. Does he roam at the age of two to four months?
6. Does cooing turn into babbling (the appearance of the syllables (ba) - (pa) - (ma)) at the age of four to six months?
7. Is there an emotional babble at the appearance of parents?
8. Does he turn to his name after the age of eight months?
9. Understands (performs) whether simple requests at the age of eight or ten months? ("Where's Mom?" "Give me the ball," etc.)
10. Do words appear at the age of one year?
11. Do two-word phrases appear at the age of one and a half to two years?
12. Does a child over two years of age try to look at the face of the person talking to him when communicating?

If the parents answer questions 1 to 11 in the negative and yes to questions 12, hearing loss may be suspected. In this case, it is recommended to go comprehensive examination hearing using objective methods.

“I have already told him 10 times - and he has “zero” reactions! Can you hear me at all?" Sometimes, parents can be infuriated when a child ignores their requests, pretends not to hear, does not do as parents ask. He peacefully continues his exciting activities or vice versa protests, rebels and does the opposite. The options for the child’s actions in response to our statements can be varied, but there is only one reproach from the parents - he doesn’t want to listen to me, it feels like he doesn’t hear me at all!

Why is this happening? After all, a small child does not make plans about how to finish off his parents, teach them a lesson, and educate them. His reactions are more like automatic reactions, a reflection of our relationship with him. And if the child does not hear you, then this is a litmus test showing that you exist on different waves with your child that there is no cooperative relationship between you.

And what could be the reason for this. I would like to list the reasons that lead to this result:

The most harmless and easily fixable option when the child really does not hear you due to the fact that he is immersed in the state of the game, in the world of his fantasies. He is so engrossed in it that the voice coming through is simply not noticed. In general, it is better not to interrupt the child's game, without special reasons. But if the occasion is really important, then first make sure that when you say the child is looking at you, that his attention has completely switched from the game to you, and only then talk - read more about this in the article

In all other cases, the child really does not want to listen to his parents. To get a better feel for these reasons, mentally switch roles with your child and imagine:

And you want to listen to people who constantly repeat the same thing in a boring and authoritarian voice, "I told you ...". And at the same time, do you want to start changing in better side, mend, be good?
Do you want to listen to people who talk more often offensive phrases and with others not for the better than the words of support and approval say?
And you want to listen to people who almost always say: “No, you can’t, it’s dangerous, if you fall, don’t touch” ...
And you want to listen to people who do not pay any attention when you really behave impeccably. But they will always pay attention at the slightest mistake and oversight, and point it out.
Or maybe you want to listen to people who ignore your requests and are busy talking with friends on the phone or watching TV without stopping, only answering now, now, wait, wait, and this is at best.
Or maybe you want to listen to people who have long decided everything for you when and what to do, where to go and where to sit, and even who you will be in the future, and now you can only dream of the mythical freedom of choice.

After all, a child is not a monster at all, which comes to distract from important matters. By the way, he even understands when he does something wrong, but sometimes, it the only way draw attention to oneself bright emotions your parents. He himself would be glad to do something for his beloved mother, but when he meets a tedious and instructive mood, he simply cannot do as his mother asks in order to save his self.

And, in my opinion, the most important factor, which is often not taken into account at all in debriefing naughty children: The child does not hear us and does not fulfill our requests when he sees a non-submissive and independent mother - he just takes an example from you. If for every statement of the father - the mother has her own opinion and an argument against it, that is, the mother does not listen to the father - the child will not obey.

Also, pay attention to whether you listen to your own parents? Or do you argue with them all the time?

As you can see, behind the banal disobedience, there are a variety of reasons. In fact, the reasons for disobedience lie not at all in the child, but in ourselves. And with a child, in fact, nothing needs to be done.

And what is the way out? Simple and at the same time complex in its execution, requiring a way out of their own automatic reactions and awareness of their sometimes emotional actions and statements. Changing one's own position in relation to the child: demanding, authoritarian and instructive - to a position open to dialogue and cooperation, accepting the child's opinion: his desire to do something or, on the contrary, not to do it.

Never, listen to him, why he “closes his ears”, record your voice on a recorder - and listen to yourself, do you want to listen to such a person? Practice active listening, calmly explaining the feelings of the child to him (read more about this in the book by Yu.B. Gippenreiter “Communicate with the child. How?”).

Be true woman who never argues with her husband and watches her speech. Only then will the child be happy or out of a sense of duty to hear and obey his parents.

And an excerpt from O.G. Torsunov’s lecture “Secrets of Education” will help you to understand this topic even deeper:

- this problem, according to statistics, worries 15% of children.

Some are born with a pathology, others have acquired diseases. Hearing loss has a negative impact on child development.

Causes of the disease

Exist various reasons pediatric pathology. Medicine distinguishes 3 groups of diseases of the hearing aid:

congenital;
hereditary;
acquired.

congenital deafness

Doctors consider complications during pregnancy and childbirth to be the causes of congenital deafness:

The threat of placental abruption.
Toxicosis.
Rhesus conflict.
Pregnancy treatment with antibiotics.
Use future mother drugs, alcohol.
Active, passive smoking of a pregnant woman.
Rapid childbirth.
Prolonged childbirth.
Intracranial trauma.

With oxygen deficiency during prenatal development the baby develops deafness.

hereditary pathology

If parents are diagnosed with hereditary deafness, the likelihood of a similar problem in newborns will be high. With hearing loss in one parent, the risk is halved. At hereditary pathology abnormal development of the external ear is often diagnosed.

Acquired disease

The development of pathology occurs for reasons:

Pollution of the ear canal. Contamination occurs with earwax, it is possible to get small items. After contacting an otolaryngologist for a cleansing procedure, hearing is restored.
Inflammation of the middle ear. Due to untreated otitis media, the eardrum is damaged, deafness develops.
Acoustic injury. If the eardrums are affected loud noise, sudden short-term or prolonged, this often leads to hearing loss.

Very often, infectious diseases become the cause of hearing loss:

meningitis;
paratyphoid;
measles;
whooping cough.

According to the location of the pathology, types of hearing loss are distinguished:

Neurosensory - damage to the sound-perceiving apparatus of the inner ear.
Conductive - damage to the sound-conducting apparatus of the outer ear, auditory ossicles.
Mixed - simultaneous violation of sound conduction and sound perception.

How to solve a problem

Parents on early stage notice the deafness of a son or daughter.

Many facts testify to the developing hearing defect:

a six-month-old baby ignores sounds;
the child touches his ears with his hands;
a 2-year-old child ignores words.

Older children speak very loudly, sit close near the TV, demand to amplify the sound. The older child becomes aggressive, closes.

The natural reaction of parents, if the child has become hard of hearing, should be to consult a doctor. After examination by an otolaryngologist, the baby is sent for an audiological examination for an accurate diagnosis.

There are other options for instrumental diagnostics:

acoustic impedancemetry;
otoacoustic emission;
electrocochleography.

Performed laboratory research blood.

The obtained results of the examination allow the doctor to start adequate treatment using the following methods:

medical;
physiotherapy;
functional;
surgical.

If the hearing loss is caused by an infection, patients are treated with non-toxic antibiotics. Often, to restore hearing, the sulfur plug is removed.

Non-drug therapy includes:

pneumomassage of the tympanic membrane,
electrophoresis,
acupuncture,
magnetotherapy.

With conductive hearing loss due to damage to the eardrum, the baby undergoes a hearing-improving operation. To improve hearing with sensorineural hearing loss, the method of hearing aids is used, with conductive hearing loss, cochlear implantation is performed.

Cochlear implantation is a new direction of hearing restoration in deafness. Other names for the method: artificial ear, electronic cochlea.

Surgical intervention is performed to restore function with the replacement of the receptor apparatus with an electronic cochlea. The device converts, encodes speech signals, located outside the inner ear.

Parents, having learned that the baby has a hearing loss, often succumb to panic. The problem is not hopeless: there are rehabilitation centers, preschool institutions, schools for the hearing impaired, helping to acquire the necessary knowledge, acquire social skills, and prepare for choosing a suitable profession. Parents must apply all available funds to restore hearing function.

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If you notice the first symptoms, you should seek the help of a specialized doctor.

As a preventive measure, you need to undergo an examination once a year.

Do not ignore hearing loss, it can lead to the most serious consequences, up to hearing loss.

Action should be taken depending on the specific situation.

If hearing loss is associated with a pressure surge, it is enough to make a couple of swallowing movements or yawn deeply.
If water gets in, do not try to remove it with foreign objects. The best way take a position on your side (the ear into which the water has fallen should be directed down) and slightly pull the earlobe, making swallowing movements.
With a runny nose, first of all, the cause of the complication should be eliminated and an attempt should be made to relieve swelling in the Eustachian tube. vasoconstrictor drops. This method is suitable for those who have a complication that is not serious, otherwise it would be wiser to consult a doctor.

Modern equipment allows you to accurately determine the severity of the disease and the causes of its occurrence.

Methods of treatment

What to do if the ear is hard to hear, but it does not hurt? Treatment should be given an experienced specialist after the diagnosis. Depending on the reasons that led to an increase in the threshold of hearing, a certain therapeutic course is prescribed.

If the problem is related to otosclerosis, an appointment is prescribed:

calcium;
phosphorus;
bromine;
vitamins of certain groups, in particular B, A, E.

Well help physiotherapy, such as iodine electrophoresis, which helps to remove tinnitus. AT individual cases surgical intervention is required.

If hearing loss is explained age-related changes, the procedures associated with their elimination are of a general strengthening character. Patients are prescribed drugs that normalize metabolic processes and improve the blood supply to the auditory nerve.

Hearing problems resulting from the formation of sulfur plugs are solved by removing it. The cork is washed out with a specifically directed jet of heated water.

Non-traditional ways

For the treatment of hearing loss in traditional medicine, there are recipes that have been proven over the years.

To reduce noise in the ear, there is a simple folk remedy: a hot decoction of hops helps well if you drink it daily in a glass for a month, additionally instilling 5-6 drops into the sore ear almond oil. If necessary, repeat the procedure after a month.
With atherosclerosis from noise in the ear, the following recipe will help: before breakfast, you should eat a small clove of garlic, in its entirety, without chewing. The duration of the procedure is one month. For prevention, it should be repeated every six months.
If the ear does not hear well after neuritis, positive result gives heated salt or sand wrapped in a canvas bag. With inflammation this way contraindicated.
Onion juice is effective tool with otitis. A mixture of four drops of onion juice and one drop of vodka is used. The resulting remedy is instilled into the ear twice a day, two drops.

It is important to remember that hearing should be protected at any age.

Effects

Poor hearing, or hearing loss, as this disease is called in medicine, has a serious impact on a person's life. In a patient, the disease may develop suddenly or gradually, depending on the reasons that caused it. Accordingly, its consequences will also be different.

The most difficult to determine hearing loss in early age. But it is during this period that it can lead to the most serious consequences. In children, this is a violation of speech function. Vocabulary and speech itself develops with a significant delay or does not develop at all. If the disease is not diagnosed in time and measures are not taken to treat it, this will lead to a decrease in the area of the brain that is responsible for hearing in size. Over time, it can completely atrophy. Even with subsequent successful treatment hearing loss, it is almost impossible to restore brain function.

Hearing loss caused by infectious diseases can lead to their chronic forms such as chronic otitis. As a result of the presence of a persistent infection, hearing loss will progress. Complete deafness becomes the final form. In some cases, advanced hearing loss can only be treated surgically.

In adulthood, poor hearing leads not only to impaired speech, the ability to read, but also affects psycho-emotional state. This leaves its mark on the character of the patient.

Gradually, hearing impairment leads to a noticeable change in the patient's behavior. He is more hostile the world. The stronger the hearing loss progresses, the more defensive the person takes. As a result, this leads to a constant feeling of isolation from others and one's own rejection.

The less a person hears phrases or clues from the environment, the more he develops depression and there is a violation of short-term memory. During conversations, patients with hearing impairments are characterized by two opposite patterns of behavior. In the first case, they try to dominate, in the second, to evade. If the background noise exceeds the threshold of their hearing, then they shy away from group communication. Therefore, more restrictive social contacts refuse to seek help.

At any age, hearing loss leads not only to health problems, but also to the inability to build social ties normally.

Diagnostics

Diagnosis of hearing loss is necessary in order to determine the degree of the disease and identify the causes that led to its formation. The main task of a diagnostic study is to identify the level of damage, the persistence of hearing loss, and its nature.

The otolaryngologist performs a number of procedures:

external examination of the head, neck, auricle;
speech audiometry;
otoscopy;
tuning fork tests;
recording of a tone threshold audiogram;
study of the middle ear and tympanic membrane.

An external examination is necessary to identify injuries that could lead to hearing loss. Examination of the middle ear and tympanic membrane shows whether there are acute infectious diseases (otitis media) and foreign objects in the ear canal.

Speech audiometry is the most easy way determine deafness. Allocate speech and whisper audiometry. AT simple case the doctor whispers a series of phrases that the patient must hear and repeat. In more difficult situations a special device is used - an audiometer. An electroacoustic device produces sounds of varying intensity and tonality. It is used to record a tone threshold audiogram.

Tuning fork tests are a diagnostic study using tuning forks that differ in sound frequency. With their help, both bone and air sound conduction of the ear are determined. This method refers more to subjective diagnosis, as it completely depends on the opinion of the doctor. Based on the results of the research, consultations are scheduled with an audiologist and an otoneurologist.

Hardest to detect deafness small child. main role plays the mindfulness of the child.

The main reasons for contacting a specialist are:

lack of reactions to a hail or other sharp sound;
inability to determine the source of the sound;
small vocabulary or his complete absence over two years of age.

Folk remedies

Garlic is a remedy for all diseases. It is actively used in the treatment of hearing loss. It is noted that it helps to restore hearing even in its complete absence. Craftsmen identify three main recipes associated with garlic.

Garlic drops. To prepare them, you need to squeeze Fresh Juice garlic and mix it with olive oil in a ratio of 1:3. 2-3 drops are instilled into the affected ear for two weeks. Then a break is made and the procedure is repeated.
Garlic turundas. The garlic is grated and mixed with camphor oil. 2-3 drops of oil are taken for each clove. The resulting mass is put in a bandage and the turundas are rolled up. They are inserted into the ear canal overnight for two weeks.
Garlic tincture. To prepare it, you need to pour 300 grams of garlic 0.5 liters of alcohol and insist them for three weeks in a dark place. The resulting tincture is drunk 1 time per day. Add 20 drops to a glass of milk.

With tinnitus, lemon balm tincture helps very well. To obtain it, you need to pour 1 part of the grass with 3 parts of alcohol or vodka. The tincture is aged in a dark place for 7 days. The field of this can be instilled into the sore ear 3-4 drops. If tinctures cannot be used for a number of reasons, then you can prepare a decoction of lemon balm and take it 2 tablespoons 5-6 times a day.

There are other methods traditional medicine to improve hearing. Very well proven propolis, cranberry, Bay leaf, onion, honey coins and honey viburnum.

Preventive measures

Comprehensive measures must be taken to prevent hearing loss.

Periodic examinations by an ENT doctor.
Timely diagnosis and competent treatment infectious diseases respiratory tract(rhinitis, sinusitis, tonsillitis, sinusitis, etc.).
Regular screening of children for hearing loss.
Removal of adenoids, before the onset of hearing problems.
Early detection and proper treatment acute otitis media middle ear.
Rubella vaccination at the planning stage of children.
Prevention nervous tension and stress during pregnancy.
Education correct technique blowing your nose.
Waiver cotton buds and other ear cleaners.

Almost every parent faces the problem of repeatedly repeating their requests to the child. “Go eat,” and the child continues to play enthusiastically.

You, that you don’t hear, I’ve already repeated to you 100 times, ”she laments, losing her composure.

So why does the child “not hear”, or rather, even say “does not listen” to you?! What is the cause of the problem and how to solve it, let's figure it out.

Imagine that you are cleaning the apartment, and suddenly a growl is heard outside the window. You stop cleaning, go to the window, study the source of the sound. Seeing that the workers are cutting trees, you return to household chores. The sound outside the window no longer distracts your attention, you realized that for some time it would break the silence, and soon you would not notice it.

Now back to the child. How often do we say something to him, but our words do not carry tangible consequences? If this happens often in your house, then the child begins to treat your words the way you treat trees cut outside the window. Such a model is being laid, unfortunately, very early! And when we already want the child to fulfill our requests, she manages to firmly gain a foothold in his perception. Then we naturally begin to get annoyed at first, then get angry, then shake the air with reproaches, but again, the essence of the situation does not reach the child behind all this “noise”! When and how do we make mistakes? While the child is very small, just starting to walk, we tell him, for example, “give mom a toy!”, But his attention has already flown to a flock of funny sparrows, and mom herself takes the toy. What was worth doing? Yes, just again to draw attention to the toy! Even if you took it, then by giving it into the children's hands of the one who is interested in this whole situation, you are already making your words meaningful, associated with the action, and not an abstract "white noise" in the background.

If such a model has already been formed in a child, do not despair. The problem is solved, although not immediately. Initially, your attempt to give weight and meaning to words by action will cause a childish protest. The child hopes to leave everything as it is and will look for a loophole. But, if you can be consistent in your steps, everything will work out!

Here are a few rules that you can follow to remedy the situation:

Rule 1. "Eye contact"

In young children, the brain can concentrate on solving only one task. If the baby is absorbed in the game, and you call him for dinner, do not be annoyed that she does not hear you, he is not capable of it. Before voicing your request, it is IMPORTANT to install eye contact with the child and switch his attention to himself. Your eyes should be at the level of the child's eyes, even better to take his hand. Address him by name: “Sasha, look at me”, “Lena, listen to what I say”, etc. It is useful to ask a kid over 3.5 years old to repeat what he heard. Tasks that you give to yourself are much more pleasant to complete.

Rule 2. "One task"

Children cannot always follow the sequence of parental requests. “Take a glass, put it in the sink, and then wipe the table or undress, wash your hands and go eat.” Children cannot remember the whole algorithm of actions and get stuck at some stage. smash challenging tasks to simple ones. Voice the child one task: “Put away the glass”, and if it is completed, move on to the next request.

Rule 3. "Speak in a clear language"

Until the age of 7, children do not have abstract thinking. And if in their dialogues parents use phrases like: “Will you still count crows for a long time?”, Then Small child does not understand that in this phrase his mother encourages him to act. Speak in a language that is understandable and native to the child, so that he can understand you.

Rule 4. "Here and now"

“Sasha, how many times can I tell you, don’t approach your older brother, don’t take his designer! Have you already forgotten how he bloodied your nose, do you want to get it from him again? .. etc.

It is clear that the parent, as they say, "boiled" and he wants to somehow stop the dangerous behavior of the child. But listening to a long notation, the baby only gets confused in words and forgets what, in fact, is being discussed. Do not remind the child of "past" sins. You don't have to worry about future troubles. So, by the way, you form u little man catastrophic thinking. Children live "here and now", so trying to influence him with long explanations is pointless. It is best to say briefly at such a moment: “You cannot break the buildings of your brother.” After that, switch the attention of the baby, play hide and seek with him, catch up, offer to compete who will better jump over the sheets of paper laid out on the carpet. In a word, find a safer outlet for the energy that overwhelms the baby. And the most important rule - if you can not change the behavior of the child, change the circumstances that provoke dangerous behavior. For example, allocate a special space for the older child to play, where no one will interfere with him.

Rule 5. "Be consistent"

Do not shout at children, except for fear, anxiety, bad mood, anger and resentment you do not cause anything from him. He is accustomed to your requests, as to the sound background outside the window. And after your own emotional outbursts, most likely, you will be covered only by guilt and shame for "non-adult" behavior.

The best way to keep emotions under control is to be consistent. If the child understands that there is no way to beg for an hour of sitting in front of the TV, he will stop ignoring the request to turn off the cartoons.

Rule 6

Children perceive what is said not as quickly as adults, but with a delay of several seconds. Also because voluntary attention(that is, the ability, by an effort of will, to be distracted from the interesting in favor of the necessary) is fully formed in the baby only by the age of 6-7 years. This means that a child under six cannot quickly switch from what is interesting to him (for example, to carry stools on the floor) to what is “interesting” to you (get dressed and go to the clinic). Give the baby a “temporary” supply .. Agree with him how many times he can slide down the hill before leaving home, then your request will surely be heard. Option: if the son “doesn’t hear” that it’s time to leave the cars and go to dinner, invite the cars to compete - who will get to the kitchen faster, etc.

Rule 7. "Remind in advance"

Children are highly developed visual memory so for learning regime moments Reminder pictures work very effectively. For example, at the age of one and a half to two years, the baby is already able to learn that you need to wash your hands in three cases: before eating, after “going” to the potty and after a walk. Hang in the bathroom and hallway bright pictures for these three situations. The child will be happy to mark each washing of hands with a bright circle or a cross.

Rule 8

Our brain is arranged very interestingly, it grasps what it heard and immediately prompts to this action, while the “not” particle is inaudible to the child. "Don't walk in the puddle!" sounds like a tempting suggestion to try its depth. Suggest an interesting alternative. For example: "Let's try to get around the puddle along this narrow curb."

Rule 9

How many times have I heard how restless mothers correct the child every now and then. “Stop, there is a dog”, “Don't fall”, “Don't get dirty” - and so on all day. At some point, a child tired of pressure begins to perceive his mother’s speech simply as a “background”. Try to count how many times you make remarks to your child during a walk. Which of these remarks could well not be made? Do not pull him for any reason, but try to be there when the baby is active. Climb up the hill with him, go with the company to see what lies in the bushes, look at the dog together. The baby will definitely “copy” your safe behavior.

So: no need for negativity! Switch, interest, motivate the child, but! AND REMEMBER, WORDS SHOULD BE SUPPORTED WITH ACTION! It is then that they acquire meaning and meaning.