Regulations 

Stages of development of family psychology. Family values. Living together without children


Phases of family development

Like any systemic organism, the family goes through certain phases of development. This is the courtship phase, when the young are not married yet, this is the phase of living without children, which can stretch from the first year of life to longer periods, this is the expansion phase, when children are born and the family gets on its feet, this is the phase mature development When children grow up, parents reach the middle age of their lives, this is the phase of the departure of one of the children, usually the eldest from the family, he can go to study, get married, marry, join the army.

During these periods, the family is undergoing a transformation. A very difficult period when all children leave their parental nest. This is the most difficult crisis for the family - an empty nest. And the last phase, when one of the parents dies and is left alone, and he needs to learn how to live in a new situation.

Each phase of development operates according to its own specific rules. These rules can be adopted consciously and in concert with each other, or they can function spontaneously. Each transition to a new phase requires a revision of the rules of interaction, the rules of the functioning of the family. When the rules become obsolete, that is, the rules remain the same, and the family moves to a new phase of development, a relationship crisis occurs.

The family, as it were, drags unresolved issues from the previous stage of their life into the next. And every crisis breeds conflict. Hence the conflict arises. For a psychologist, conflict is a symptom. This is the symptom with which a person comes to consult a family psychologist, that is, he wants to understand what he is doing wrong, what is happening in his life or in the life of his family, which violates this very interaction.

courtship period

I'm going to go over the different phases, the different stages of development. Courtship period - young people meet, they like each other, they are planning to unite in a family. This is the so-called "candy-bouquet" period, which usually goes smoothly because everyone has clearly defined roles and well-defined intentions.

In this period, people interact in accordance with certain social stereotypes. Stereotypes of expectation: a girl expects from a man a wonderful husband, assistant, protector, a person who will provide her financially, and does her best to please him and match the image that a man draws in his head - sweet, beautiful, charming, affectionate , attentive, good friend understanding, helpful.

During this period, people play a kind of social game. Their expectation does not correspond to their inner content. That is, if a girl marries because she has to go, this does not mean that she has found a partner correctly. Or if a girl marries with one desire to have a child, then the meaning of her marriage ends with the birth of this child. If she wants to satisfy her material needs, then the union following this will be of a rather one-sided nature, which depends on whether this expectation of the girl is fulfilled or not.

The same from the side of the man. Will this woman bear the offspring that this man wants, biological function whether this woman will be a good housewife, whether she will be able to accept him for who he really is. That is, during the period of courtship, the focus is on, people are experiencing a period of their own expectations from the future living together.

First year of marriage

And now the union has taken place, people unite in a family, people get married, and the first year of marriage begins, which is also a crisis, because expectations can be met, or maybe not. The person may be different Everyday life. A certain disappointment appears, there is a resistance of two personalities who are united under one roof, and they face the problem of learning to live together.

What does it mean to learn to live together? It is to accept the very rules that I spoke about earlier - the rules of functioning. But the relationship between a man and a woman at the first stage is burdened by their parental families. Imagine when two people from different planets have to live on the same territory they have chosen and at the same time be able to negotiate. Who is right? Naturally, the girl brings to the family those traditions, rules, ways that are accepted in her family. But the young man does the same. And the argument begins: who is right, how to do it?

And here the way to resolve the conflict, first of all, is that you need to develop your own principles, your own rules. You need to talk about this openly, about your displeasures, moods, dissatisfaction, about collapsed expectations. And when people can boldly, calmly discuss this, they must give birth to something third, not follow the rules of one of the parental families, but they must accept their own, they must very subtly, very skillfully distance themselves from the parental families, maintaining emotional contacts with them, emotional relationship. That is the meaning of the first year family life- this is the development of those very rules for the functioning of the family.

Children in family life

Many families now, especially in modern conditions, accept a civil marriage, that is, they learn and develop those very rules without yet entering into marriage bonds. Which somewhat smooths out the crisis situation of the first year, that is, the struggle for power in the family takes place within civil marriage. As a rule, people sign, that is, enter into a registered marriage when children are born.

This period is also quite difficult, because the rules stipulated at the first stage, that is, how we will live on, this includes: when we will have children, who will care for them, how will we raise them, what will we demand from them what part our parents will take in raising a child, because when a child appears, parental families unite. Figures of grandparents appear. And they are also active members of the family. Accordingly, in order for the stage of life to be lived gently when children are born, these rules should be laid down in the preliminary stage, that is, it is necessary to agree.

What do we want? When a woman wants to become a mother - after finishing her studies, or does she want to do it now? What does she want: to decide first her career, build, and then become a mother, or is she ready to combine it, or is she ready to sacrifice her career in favor of motherhood? She must take this conscious step, which must be supported by her companion. And when this topic is discussed, then it removes 80% of those conflicts that arise in connection with the birth of a child.

A very difficult period when the children grew up. And that couple, who at first looked after each other so beautifully, went through many stages, many phases, the pain of disappointments and ended up opposite each other together. And they need to learn to communicate again, without children, not through children, and apart from children. They must find common interests that bring them together, common activities, it is very important at a certain point in the family, this is when they have been married for 17-19 years, learn to travel, love fishing together, love doing something together.

Then these people will be able to live their family life well until one of them leaves, and someone leaves first. And the loss of a husband or wife is the most traumatic loss in a family. And then the person left must go through this loss correctly, not arrange a mausoleum of a loved one in the house, let him go and learn to live independently.

Here, perhaps, are all these stages that the family must go through, and if these stages go through as correctly as possible, of course, life makes its own adjustments, but if they pass according to the very rules of functioning, then the family has the right to be happy, joyful and fulfill all those family functions that people need. And the function is, first of all, the maximum adaptation to social changes outside. That is, the family is the conditions that enable people to develop, raise children, overcome difficulties, cope with difficulties from the outside. This is the meaning of the family.



The psychology of marriage and family is one of the branches of psychological science. The main subject of research is the family. For the first time, American specialists took up a systematic study of marriage at the beginning of the 20th century. In the 60-70s. the psychology of marriage becomes a separate area of ​​psychological science.

What does the psychology of marriage study?

There are several main areas of research - these are factors that affect the quality of marriage, family development cycles, the role structure of marriage, the distribution of power between family members, communication between partners, the psychological characteristics of parents and children, etc. In the psychology of marriage, a whole area has been identified called family and marriage counseling.

Data from research on the psychology of family and marriage is the basis for creating various social and psychological programs. They are the basic source in the development of scientific principles for the training of professionals who work with families and also carry out corrective work with the family and its members.

The main stages of family development

The family is a developing and changing organism. Observations for different periods in the lives of family members led specialists to a certain systematization. In other words, the family life cycle can be divided into several stages. Why is periodization necessary? Its importance lies in the fact that each stage is characterized by typical developmental problems. Accordingly, knowing about them, spouses can avoid many mistakes and misunderstandings, and specialists use this data to psychological help families who got into.

There are different classifications of stages of family life. Based on the tasks that must be solved by the family, as a group, at each stage in order to continue further development and functioning. As a rule, they are based on a change in the place of children in the family structure. This approach is used both in domestic and foreign psychology.

Stages of family development (according to E. Duval)

E. Duval identifies 8 stages of family development. Based on his criteria, he singled out the reproductive and educational functions of the family (the presence or absence of children in the family and their age).

He called the first stage formative (0-5 years), when there are no children yet. The second is childbearing (the age of the oldest child is up to 3 years). The next stage is preschool children, the eldest at the age of 3 to 6 years. The fourth stage is a family with schoolchildren, the eldest of which is 6-13 years old. This is followed by the family stage with adolescent children, the eldest of which, aged 13-21 years. The sixth stage is the family, which "sends" children into life. At the seventh stage, spouses of mature age remain. The eighth stage is the aging family.

It should be noted that not every family can be viewed through the prism of this classification. Quite often there are couples that do not "fit" into any classification. Nevertheless, each family sooner or later faces certain difficulties and trials, the features of which are revealed in the stages of family development.

About family counseling

In every family, there comes a time when solving a problem on your own is quite problematic. This is where family counseling can come in handy. It is aimed at people who do not have any clinical impairment but who have difficulties in daily life.

Family counseling is, first of all, communication, establishing emotional contact and creating favorable conditions for the disclosure of personality.

The main goal is to help the client understand what is happening on this stage their lives and meaningfully achieve their goals while solving emotional and emotional problems.

The term "life cycle" was introduced into science by the American demographer Paul Glick in the late 40s of the XX century.

The life cycle of a family is a natural sequence of stages in the development of a family throughout the entire period of its existence.

In modern domestic psychology, the periodization of E.K. Vasilyeva, who distinguishes 5 stages of the family life cycle:

  • the birth of a family before the birth of a child;
  • the birth and upbringing of children;
  • the end of the family's educational functions;
  • children live with their parents, and at least one does not have a family of his own;
  • spouses live alone or with children who have families of their own.

In foreign psychology, the periodization of the life cycle of R. Hill's family is common. He highlights:

Monad stage;

stage of marriage;

The stage of the child's birth;

Stage of living with a child until adolescence;

The stage of "departure of children from the nest";

Death of one of the spouses;

The most convenient for solving applied problems of the psychology of family relations is the periodization of the family life cycle by M. Erickson:

courtship period;

Marriage and its consequences (marital behavior);

The birth of a child and interaction with him;

Mature stage of marriage;

Separation of children from parents;

Retirement and old age.

One of the first periodizations of the family life cycle is Duvall's periodization (E.M. Duvall), published in 1957. According to Duval, the life cycle of a family includes 8 stages, from the moment of marriage to the termination of the existence of the family due to the death of both spouses.

The basis for the allocation of stages were typical tasks, the solution of which is necessary for the development of the family. The stage of acquaintance of future spouses, the period of their emotional involvement precedes the conclusion of marriage, from which the life cycle of the family begins.

Thus, the family life cycle, according to Duval, consists of the following stages:

1. Acceptance and development of marital roles. At this stage, a young married couple does not yet have children, but decides on issues related to the desire to become parents. Spouses are engaged in the settlement of relations with an increased number of relatives and, above all, these are relations with parental families.

2. The appearance of children in the family (the age of the oldest is 30 months). The appearance of the first child requires the couple to move from the dyadic relationship and adapt to the relationship in the triangle. childcare concerns, proper development are the main ones during this period.

3. Families with preschool children (age of the oldest child from 2 years and 6 months to 6 years). This is the time of the primary introduction of children into non-family institutions (preschool institutions). Parents must adapt to the age needs of preschoolers. They accumulate fatigue, they need to overcome the difficulties associated with a strong restriction of personal space.


4. Families with children (the age of the oldest child is from 6 to 13 years). During this period, the main attention of parents is drawn to the school affairs of children. Encouraging children to academic success is the main task of the family.

5. Families with teenagers (oldest child between 13 and 20 years old). Acceptance of adolescence of children is an important and difficult task for parents and children. Parents are required to change their attitude towards growing children, to strike a balance between giving freedom to teenagers and their acceptance of responsibility. The growing up of children allows parents to create their own range of interests that are not directly related to children, to actively engage in issues of their own career. Preparations are underway for the departure of children from the family.

6. Departure of young people from the family (from the departure of the first child to the moment when the youngest leaves the parental family). Family: adults and children experiment with independence from each other. Young people are released from parental care. An important task in dealing with issues of separation of children is to maintain support as the basis of the family.

7. Average age parents (from "empty nest to retirement"). The period when parents were left alone again without grown children who left their native, “nest”. Relationships need to be restructured. The older and younger generations are learning to build relationships of independence and maintaining family ties.



8. Aging of family members (from retirement to the death of both spouses). The most difficult tasks of this stage: acceptance of the fact of retirement and adaptation to old age. In connection with the death of one of the spouses, difficult problems of loss and a lonely life arise for the other. Preserving family ties with children and grandchildren helps to live the last stage of the family life cycle.

An analysis of the presented periodization indicates that Duval recognizes the children's subsystem of the family as the leading one. Development tasks are associated with the birth of children, their upbringing and leaving the parental family.

The currently existing periodization of the family life cycle differ in the criteria that underlie the allocation of stages (Vasilyeva E.K., 1975; Duvall E.M., 1957; P. Sorokin, A.I. Antonov, 1998, etc.).

The sociological approach to periodization consists in recognizing the paramount importance of the educational function of the family, as well as the system-forming factor of the family system of the parental subsystem.

Russian sociologist A.I. Antonov (1998) distinguishes four stages of the family life cycle:

1) the stage of pre-parenthood;

2) stage of reproductive parenthood;

3) the stage of socialized parenthood;

4) the stage of ancestry.

The psychological approach to the periodization of the family life path (Minukhin, McGoldrick, Haley, A.Ya. Varga, A.V. Chernikov, etc.) proceeds from the integrity of the family as a system, the interdependence and autonomy of the main subsystems of the family: marital, parental, child , interrelation of functions and structure of a family. Regularly occurring events in the family (the emergence of a married couple, the birth of children, their departure from the family, etc.) naturally entail changes in the structure family interaction, change the functions of the family, their content and hierarchy.

At each stage, the family meets with certain developmental tasks, the effectiveness of the solution of which determines the success of its passage through the subsequent stages. Each stage of the family life cycle is characterized by typical problems and its dynamics of change. Moving from one stage to another, the family becomes a more highly organized and complex system.

The following main stages of the full cycle of family functioning can be distinguished, taking into account typical development tasks:

1. Premarital period.

2. Marriage and the emergence of marital relations.

3. The birth of children.

4. Emergence of the children's subsystem.

5. Introduction of children to non-family institutions.

6. An established, mature family.

7. The phase in which the children leave the house.

8. The stage of the "empty nest".

9. The final stage of family life: after the death of one of the spouses.

1. Pre-marital period: from the meeting and acquaintance of future spouses to the conclusion marital relations. This is the stage of the emergence of emotional attraction in a couple, the discovery of similarities in values, orientation. Clarification of expectations and claims regarding future life together. Problems of personal identity, achieving emotional and financial independence from parents, determining one's own social status are being solved, skills of caring and attracting a partner are being developed.

2. Marriage and the emergence of marital relations. The main content is the development of rules for living together. The problems of power are solved: the distribution of spheres of responsibility, the choice of ways to resolve disputes and conflicts. A balance of emotional closeness/distance is established. The experience of sexual intercourse with a partner-spouse is acquired. Borders are being built with parental families, relatives, friends of the husband and wife. Skills are acquired in distributing the family budget, organizing leisure activities, maintaining household. Preparing for the role of parents.

Typical problems of this stage are related to:

With the difference in family models among spouses, due to the experience of living in parental families;

With the impossibility in a short period to develop a model of one's own family, abandoning part of personal stereotypes, beliefs, habits;

With the absence or difference in the experience of sexual relations;

With unwillingness or unwillingness to have children;

With financial difficulties and housing insecurity;

With the inevitability of a huge number of negotiations regarding life together.

3. The birth of the first child. The appearance of the first child requires the development of parental roles, the transition from dyadic relationships to relationships in a triangle, in which the emotional distance in the mother-newborn relationship is much shorter than in the relationship husband-wife, father-child. Men develop a characteristic jealousy of the child due to the over-involvement of the mother. The caring attitude of both parents contributes to the formation of a child's sense of trust in other people. In the absence of parental care, the child becomes lethargic and inhibited.

Mastering a new family function associated with the birth and upbringing of a child requires a new restructuring of the family structure. What is needed: changes in some established rules of interaction between spouses who have become parents, building new relationships with grandparents, redistributing the family budget, adopting a new hierarchy of values: family, child, spouse, work, friends, parents, relatives. Spouses have a problem of reducing the intensity of sexual relations. Women experience a lack of professional self-realization, envy of the “freedom” of men appears. As a result of the difficulties in solving the natural problems of this period, the spouses may experience dissatisfaction with each other, developing family relationships.

4. Emergence of the children's subsystem. The birth of the second and subsequent children once again confronts the family with the need to change the current situation, restructuring the ways of interpersonal interactions in family system. The appearance of brothers and sisters means the emergence of an independent subsystem - a children's (sibling) one with its own rules and norms. Relationships of rivalry, competition, cooperation, mutual assistance and support naturally arise between children. Parents will have to strike a balance between the exercise of their power, care and responsibility, and the acceptance of the right of each child and the sibling subsystem to autonomy.

5. The introduction of children into non-family institutions: children's preschool institutions, school - a responsible task for the family. The network of external social contacts is expanding, requiring spouses to be ready, knowledgeable and able to interact with educators, teachers, medical workers, club leaders, coaches, other parents and their children. Parents teach the child to accept the social norms and rules of those groups in which he is included, to solve the problems of interaction with peers and status persons that arise there. When solving the problems of socialization of a child, at the same time, parents face an important existential problem - the preservation and development of the unique identity of the child, the recognition of his individuality and uniqueness, the acceptance of both strengths and weaknesses of his personality.

6. An established, mature family. A distinctive feature of this stage of the family life cycle is the clear expression and interaction of multidirectional trends. This is a period that reveals the ability of spouses to emotionally support each other, the success / failure of the professional career of one or both partners, revealing the high / low economic level of the family, leisure opportunities, ways to resolve conflicts and problems that show a degree of psychological and sexual compatibility spouses.

An established family way of life, a habitual way of life and the nature of relations between spouses, parents and children creates an atmosphere of stability, orderliness in the family, which causes the spouses to strive to maintain the status quo and provokes resistance to all kinds of changes. There is a danger of stagnation of relations, emasculation of their emotional component. On the other hand, there is a feeling emotional satiety spouses to each other, resulting in adultery, sexual disharmony, divorce attempts due to "disappointment in a partner."

This is the period of growing up of children, reaching at least one of them adolescence. Providing conditions for the physical and mental development of the child is perceived by parents as the most important task. New rules are needed in dealing with growing children. Parents will have to find such ways of interaction that would maintain contact with the teenager and at the same time, respecting his independence and the right to autonomy, provided him with the opportunity to keep some aspects of his experience secret. AT adolescence peer group is of particular importance. This is a separate subculture with its own views on sex, fashion, leisure activities, politics, education, lifestyle, and the future. Sexual needs, the demands of the school, and the competing influence of peers require the family to be able to come to terms with the autonomy and guidance of the growing children.

7. The phase in which the children leave the house. This stage of the family life cycle begins from the moment when the first (not necessarily the eldest) child leaves the family, and lasts until the time when the last child leaves the parental family. This stage is full of changes: the departure of children may be accompanied by the replenishment and expansion of the family at the expense of the parents of the spouses. One of the children may start a family of his own and return to his parents with his spouse and child, or he may need help from them to care for his grandchildren. It is during this period that most often the death of the ancestors occurs.

The extent to which the family adapts or does not adapt to these changes largely depends on the prevailing style of relationships in the family. The rigid style, closeness of the family increase the likelihood that even normal, natural changes will be experienced as a crisis. Flexibility in relationships family rules, the preservation of respect and feelings of love between spouses, the openness of the family to contacts with the immediate social environment help to cope with the emerging changes.

The main psychological meaning of the period is parting with children, recognizing their independence and autonomy while maintaining an emotional connection with them. Young people, separating from the parental family, must at the same time maintain contact with it.

8. The stage of the "empty nest". With the departure of children from the family, the spouses solve not only the task of accepting the inevitability and naturalness of their separation, but must again learn to live together, “eye to eye”. This is the period when the family actually fulfilled the parental functions, marital relations again occupy a dominant position. For many spouses, this is a happy period in life. Satisfaction with marriage at this stage of the life cycle is determined, first of all, by how harmonious the relations of the spouses were at the previous stages. In those families where the parental and marital relationship systems were not recognized as autonomous, the reduction in parental functions is perceived as a crisis. Left without children, spouses can feel like strangers and lonely.

The appearance of grandchildren leads to the need to master the roles of grandparents, create new ways of participating in the lives of children, rules for interacting with the family of a daughter-in-law or son-in-law.

An important task of this period is adaptation to retirement. The fact of retirement is experienced differently by men and women. Men experience loss of productivity more acutely and social connections. Women who continue to run the household, actively fulfilling the role of a grandmother, perceive retirement as an opportunity to devote more time to their families, their children, and grandchildren. The family is traditionally more valuable for women than work or a professional career.

Problems of adaptation to retirement are associated with a decrease in income, poor health, sexual activity, the loss of an interesting, significant work, narrowing the circle of social contacts, a change in the usual mode of life. Difficulties adjusting to retirement can be exacerbated by the death of a spouse.

Loss loved one marks the onset of the final (9) stage of the family life cycle. Loss-related grief affects every member of the nuclear and extended family in one way or another. The spouse who is left alone experiences the death of a spouse most hard. the main task development in connection with the death of a loved one - mourn the loss significant relationships and be able to shift attention to any activity. Surviving a loss means mourning. Family members' attempts to avoid mourning can lead to feelings of guilt, anger, or depression. Four stages of the mourning process can be distinguished.

The first stage is the stage of shock, stupor. Family members do not express strong emotions, deny, do not recognize death.

The second stage - acute grief, is manifested by immersion in the memories of the departed. Conversations with people who knew the deceased, looking at photographs help.

The third stage, longing, is accompanied by a decrease in the intensity of grief, acceptance of the loss of a family member, depression.

The final, fourth, stage is restoration. Family members are rebuilding their lives. The remaining parent can enter the family of one of the children. An acceptable solution is the remarriage of a widowed spouse.

The roles of grandparents final stages family life cycle is one of the most important. Thanks to grandchildren, a connection is maintained between the grandparents and their adult children, the roles of grandparents help to adapt to retirement, to survive the loss of a loved one. The roles of grandparents are the most important life resource of older people. Together with the grandchildren, childhood is lived again.

Grandparents get the opportunity to evaluate their own successes and compensate for their failures in relations with their grandchildren. As in human life, in the family, periods of stable development alternate with periods of crisis associated with the transition from one phase of the life cycle to another. It is at these moments that the family system is at its least stable. AT transition periods the family is faced with the need for significant changes in the interaction between its members, in the organization of family life.

Of course, everyone, regardless of their own marital status, heard about the crises of family life.

Exist different views According to the number of these crises, some psychologists distinguish four, but our families are mainly characterized by 7 crises of family life.

A crisis is not the most joyful moment of a life together, but it is not always followed by a divorce. To prevent undesirable consequences, you need to know the causes of the crisis and the rules of the game in each situation.

Crisis of the first year

This is the first and one of the most obvious and predictable crises. In the first year of family life goes"grinding to each other", the couple learns to live under the same roof, lead a life, jointly solve financial issues, and simply use one closet, bath before going to work, spend leisure time, etc.

Causes of the crisis:

She gets up early, and he likes to watch TV until 3 am;

He scatters things, and she hates the mess;

She takes a bath for two hours, and he is late for work because of her;

On weekends, she likes to meet friends, and he needs a computer or a sofa and a TV;

They barely have enough money to pay for the apartment, and she buys new shoes;

And there are many more reasons related exclusively to different habits and looks.

For young families, housing, as well as financial matters. Renting an apartment is expensive, and almost all income goes to pay, but you still want to have fun and generally cost an independent life. And if they begin to accept help from their parents, which is especially characteristic of domestic families, then the young man does not feel fully a breadwinner, a “man” in his understanding, and this also often becomes a reason for family quarrels.

Ways to overcome the crisis: if a couple loves each other, and is determined to live “together until death separates”, then this crisis is overcome quite easily by finding compromises.

Most importantly, no ultimatum demands like: “If you don’t leave the computer, no sex for a week!” Or the most popular phrase, it is also the first indelible stain family conflicts: "If you don't like it, let's get divorced!" Think about it, because in the families included in the divorce statistics of the first year of marriage, someone probably answered “Come on!”. If you do not want to hear such an answer, do not offer! After all, even if he / she says it in a temper (as you yourself will assure yourself), and then you make peace, this trace can remain in your memory, and will pop up with every next conflict!

In no case should you harbor a grudge, if you don’t like something, you need to solve this problem, or reconsider your attitude towards it. Those. if you cannot force your husband to put things in one place, and not scatter them around the apartment, then you have 3 options for solving this issue: the first way is to clean it yourself (but only if you are really not annoyed by picking up his things); the second way is to gently, gently and easily explain to your loved one that you would be very happy if he, such a sweetheart and beloved smart girl, would put them in a closet every evening (or another place where you need); the third way is to cut it daily (and this is the shortest way to divorce!).

Crisis of three years

This period of family life is decisive for your future future. We can say that it is during this period that it is largely determined whether you will continue together or not. A large percentage of divorces occur during this period. This is due to the fact that the joint grinding has already taken place, memories of the wedding and honeymoon far away, the money donated for the wedding has run out, by this time the parents have already ceased to help, which means that only the two of you now solve all issues and problems, including financial ones.

Causes of the crisis: Many note that by this period illusions about each other dissipate, we see a person as he really is, and not as he was in our dreams and plans. Family life also turned out to be not a series of holidays and fun, but coffee in bed and flowers now only on holidays. And routine, routine, routine. You begin to want something new or someone new, namely a child! Yes, and your parents begin to put pressure on you, your girlfriends give birth one after another, and everyone asks when you are going to get together. And of course, you don’t mind either, but .. but your loved one popularly explains that now is not the time, that you are not ready yet, etc.

During this period, a man actively pursues a career, achieves the financial well-being of your family (are you not crying to him that there is not enough money, that you cannot buy anything, etc.?), and, of course, he also sees that everyone has children, but yours, it is your family, is not yet financially ready for the birth of a child, because these are colossal expenses, and the man is trying to explain exactly this, bumping into tears, tantrums, reproaches and a new phrase-stain of your conflicts: “Why were they able to earn money, and you are not?" or even worse - "You're not a man!". That's it, the job is done, you are already half a step away from the abyss called "divorce".

Ways to overcome the crisis: in given period a remembrance must come that the family is not you and he, the family is you. And all the problems that arise should be solved by mutual efforts. Yes, there was an idea that a man should financially support a family, and a wife should run a house, but this idea was refuted long ago by more advanced forms of family organization. And if you both work, it would be great to organize a joint budget and make something like a spending plan together, then this problem would be solved more easily.

With regard to the birth of children, it is important to understand that the desire must be mutual. And if your man is silent, does not offer to have children, then he does not want them yet! And showing photos, telling how happy your friends are, raising a baby, buying magazines for future parents is useless. Have pity on your and his nerves. It is better to unobtrusively find out his views on the birth of children, i.e. whether he plans to start them and when.

If you love each other, then it is necessary that you have common interests, and by realizing them, you will be able to cope with the routine and continue to build your happy and harmonious family life!

Crisis of the firstborn

Before the birth of a baby, a woman is completely absorbed in pregnancy, after childbirth - a child. Both during pregnancy and after, the husband may feel abandoned, he is no longer given as much attention as before, now his wife pays attention to another, even this other baby of theirs. Some jealousy appears, it lacks female affection, and the wife, as a rule, at this moment does not notice the experiences of her husband.

He, in turn, is looking for something or someone that will give him the opportunity to be needed, important, to be in the first place. Some men during this period begin to achieve career goals with particular vehemence, strive to become leaders, to be No. 1 at work. Naturally, this requires more time and some changes. The wife, on the other hand, feels somewhat insecure during this period, she temporarily does not work, and appearance her husband has changed somewhat, there are doubts, suspicions, questions from her husband, often false accusations, searches of his things and frequent quarrels. And during this period, adultery often occurs.

Ways to overcome the crisis: even during pregnancy, it is worth involving the husband in the process, showing that he is not a passive observer, but an active participant in what is happening. Ask him to stroke your stomach, talk to the baby, rejoice when your husband returns and say that you both missed him. After the birth of the baby, also immediately attract your husband, show that he is needed and important, that this is YOUR baby (and not just mom), play with him together, say how happy the baby is to see dad. Leave them together more often, let him feel how this baby loves him.

Do something while you are not working, for example, learn a foreign language, and then surprise your husband with a tender and passionate declaration of love. Remember that you are a woman, take care of yourself, you must still be desirable for your husband, and maybe even more. And you will later remember this period as another happy stage of your family life.

Crisis of return or crisis of exit from maternity leave

This crisis may occur due to the end of parental leave and the return to active social life. If in the crisis of superiority there is a high probability of infidelity of a man, then the crisis of return is fraught with infidelity of his wife. The reason is the desire for new sensations, to be not just a wife and mother, but beautiful and desired woman, and if she does not find what she wants with her husband, then she starts looking on the side. In addition, difficulties are associated with the need to combine work, caring for a child, housekeeping, there may be little time and energy for a husband, and if he does not take part and does not help his wife, then this inevitably leads to scandals.

Ways to overcome the crisis: if the husband does not take part and does not help, you should try to explain without quarrels that now you have as little time as he does, and that it would be great to share some responsibilities. Men should during this period pay more attention to their wives as women, and praise her achievements not only in raising a child and housekeeping, but in a professional field. And even if there is no complete order in the house, you should not look for a reason for quarrels in this, the main thing is that everything is fine in the relationship of loving people.

Crisis of monotony

This crisis can occur in the period of 7-9 years of family life. Everything settled down and is in a stable position: home, child, work, life, social circle. This is the period when already today you can say what you will do in the coming months. No unexpected impulses, romance, everything is stable, like in a swamp. It's like a coma. Life is, and at the same time it is not. Unfortunately, this crisis can be accompanied by connections on the side, both from the side of the husband and the side of the wife, just to add variety. Moreover, men are less likely than women to think about divorce during this period. And their connections on the side can end as quickly as they begin, with respect to female infidelity the opposite position.

Ways to overcome the crisis: of course, everything that has been achieved is a plus, but we need to move on. It is necessary to arrange surprises for both husband and wife, some kind of romantic trips, change the old bed for a two-meter round one, get a dog, start building Vacation home with a crazy interior that you and your husband are already inventing. Anything from what you have never done before, but really wanted to, and always together. A good option dancing, for example, steam latina, kindles passion and generally has a good effect on intimate relationship. The main thing is that both of you like this activity!

Crisis of the 40s

This crisis is considered one of the most difficult. It is rather difficult to overcome, and this period, like the three-year crisis, accounts for a large percentage of divorces. This is due to the fact that 40 is a certain trait, men and women sum up their lives (in men this takes place in a more acute form), half of which has already passed. If women can mark the birth of a child as an achievement, then men are tormented by the question of what they have created in 40 years, what mark they will leave in the world, what mark in business. To all of the above, there is a restructuring of the body, so hormones also make themselves felt.

Ways to overcome the crisis: many men are visited by the thought of another child, because right now they are able to provide him with everything that they could not give in their youth. Often during this period, men can remarry, to a woman much younger than themselves.

It is difficult to overcome this crisis, here your words will not convince your partner, he himself must feel that 40 is only the middle, that you have many decades of family life ahead of you, that during this time you can build another business and much more. New unexpected actions will help create a feeling of youth. You can come up with something together, create a block, or some kind of online business, or implement any other idea.

Crisis of loneliness together

Loneliness together is probably the most terrible period in family life. This crisis can come when children grow up and leave their parents. If love has long passed, and family friendship between partners has not developed, then a crisis can occur. If you are kept not only by children, but there are common interests, then this period will not only not become a crisis, but can also become a new upsurge in your family relationships. You can again pay attention only to each other, you can travel a lot, and realize what for some reason has not yet been realized.

Ways to overcome the crisis: if the crisis did come, then you should try to find the points of intersection, because it is better to find it late than to destroy the family at this stage. Often during this period, grandchildren can unite. After all, grandchildren are given even more than children, grandchildren are a second youth.

Crises in family life happen, but this is not a reason for despair. Everything can be overcome, the future family boat in our hands, it can break into everyday life, or it can go through a wonderful voyage on the sea of ​​love, mutual respect, common hopes and achievements!

Family life crises are one of the components normal development families.

According to scientific views, "crisis" means the moment of imbalance in the system, the loss of correspondence (balance) between the problems of the individual and the resources available to solve them.

Conventionally, all existing crises of family life are considered as two variants of crises.

Crisis of development. These are crises that occur predictably throughout life and on different stages family development (birth of a child, marriage, growing up of children, etc.).

The crisis of the situation. Most crises fall into this category and are unpredictable stressors (job loss, divorce, conflict, etc.).

The emergence of a family is a stage conventionally called "pre-family".

The formation of the family (the formation of a single psychological and spiritual space).

The birth of the family itself in its branched structure (the union of two generations, older and younger).

The growing up of children and the separation of generations.

Separation of children from the parental family.

Cycle repetition.

The family, like a living organism, has its own periods of childhood, adolescence, prosperity, illness, aging and decay. The transition from one period to another is often associated with the appearance of contradictions in the relationship between husband and wife and, as a result, can lead to crises in family life. The paradox lies in the fact that the crises of family life are more painful if the family arose on the basis of passionate love and, conversely, calmly and almost imperceptibly, if the creation marriage union was dictated by purely business considerations.

The first crisis period is associated with a change in the image of a partner, namely, with a decrease in his psychological status. If at the beginning of family life he or she seemed "the best", then during the crisis there comes a moment when the shortcomings of a loved one come to the fore. Family life, like a pendulum, at the beginning of life deviated towards the positive pole (positive exaggeration), and then abruptly rushed towards the negative pole (negative exaggeration).

Permission. Constructively, couples experience crises of family life, which cease to criticize each other, and move on to an average, balanced state, calmly highlighting both the advantages and disadvantages of each other. At the same time, they focus on the merits in their relationship.

The second crisis period is psychological fatigue from each other, a craving for freshness and novelty in relationships. Often this period is especially acute for men.

Permission. This crisis of family life is experienced less painfully by those families in which the "leash is loosened" - the conditions for relative freedom and independence of each other are mutually recognized, and also where both begin to look for ways to renew their relationship.

The third crisis period is the birth of a child. It is usually hard on both men and women. But men have a lot of suffering in the first year after the birth of a child, and a woman in the second. Men often say that in the first year they have a lot of fears and anxieties for the family, the wife loses her ability to work and all the financial burden of responsibility falls on the man, this is a very stressful situation. At this moment, the woman is almost unable to support her husband, she devotes herself entirely to the child. The second year of a child's life is very difficult for a wife. She was at home for a long time, her whole life was a feeding schedule. Here the woman has doubts whether she is still interesting to her husband, and whether she is still worth something as a specialist.

Permission. Usually those families survive where the husband and wife do not stop talking to each other. Husband and wife during this period have very different tasks, and they live, as they say, "about different things", moreover, they are completely absorbed in their own affairs.

Fourth crisis period. Usually it is distinguished by all psychologists and even non-psychologists. This family is seven years old. Usually, the crisis of this period is associated with boredom in family life, but if you think about it, a young family has nothing to be bored with. The husband is at the top of his career, the wife continues her professional path, the child is growing rapidly and pleases parents with daily “growth news”. The thing is that at the age of seven, usually in the family, children go to school. What does it mean? This means that for the first time a young family will have to show the world who they raised. This is the time of the first exams for the child, and the child is the fruit of the union.

Permission. Also remember about idealization/depreciation. Our child may not be better than the rest, but certainly no worse. Usually the world accepts children well, the main thing is that parents do not create additional tension.

The fifth crisis period is the crisis of family life, when the child turns into a teenager. The first stage of the separation of the child from the family, at first it is only a separation of opinion. For a teenager, authorities appear in addition to his parents. This period can be perceived by the family as the collapse of the family, for a man and a woman this is something new - the child brings some more opinions and views into the house.

Permission. Paradoxically, but the family will grow stronger if it weakens its boundaries a little. This is a wonderful period when you can test the strength of the family that it does not collapse under the influence of the new. A new one that a child brings to the family.

The sixth crisis period is the moment when the family again becomes two people, because the children leave the house. Curious how to write: "go out" or "leave"? Rather, it is more correct to write about distance. The child does not leave the family, the parental family always remains a refuge for him, he can always return there. Usually this is the most difficult period for the family. Many couples break up when the spouses are forty years old. This is a difficult period for both women and men. Life practically has to be redrawn anew, to look for new meanings in it. Men are addicted to young women in the hope of once again going through the cycle from starting a family to having children, women often pay more attention to their careers. Relations at this stage are sometimes understood as exhausted, mission accomplished.

Permission. Usually helps to learn something again, to have fun.

Crises of family life are one of the components of the normal development of the family. According to scientific views, "crisis" means the moment of imbalance of the system, the loss of correspondence (balance) between the problems of the individual and the resources that exist to resolve them.tor: Marina Makhotina-Garaeva

Infourok LLC

Abstract on discipline: "Pedagogy"

On this topic:

The family as a subject pedagogical interaction

and socio-cultural environment for the upbringing and development of the individual"

Executor:

Lapteva Tatyana Yurievna

Smolensk 2018

Introduction 2

    Family: concepts of defining a family, stages of family development, types of families 5

    Basics family pedagogy 8

    Psychological and pedagogical methods of working with the family

baby 11

Conclusion 15

Bibliography 16

Introduction

There are many approaches to the interpretation of the concept of "family". So in the "Dictionary of the Russian language" S.I. Ozhegov "family" means an association of persons related by family or marriage ties. In the dictionary G.I. Knyazkov defines "family" as "a kind of social community, essential form organization of personal life based on marital union and family ties, that is, on the numerous relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters and other relatives living together and leading a common household. A.G. Kharchev in his research considers the family as a "small social group based on marriage or consanguinity, whose members are connected by a common life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance.

"family" is transformed following the socio-cultural change of society. A family can also be understood as a parental couple or one parent with at least one child. The family is the initial structural unit of society in which the foundations of the individual are laid. It unites spouses, children and parents, including several generations at the same time.

The family performs important socially significant functions in relation to society and to the individual.
The main functions in relation to society are the following:
- physical reproduction of the population;

educational function - the transfer of knowledge, skills, norms, values, spiritual reproduction;

production and economic.


In the process of upbringing within the framework of the family, the child has the opportunity to develop normally: to learn the rules of communication with the outside world in a timely manner, to learn to recognize positive and negative norms of behavior, to form personal ideals. The absence of family education does not allow the child to correctly form his own life criteria, to choose an independent line of behavior. The family as a subject of pedagogical education bears a great responsibility for the education of future full-fledged members of society. Children adopt the pattern of behavior of their parents, their worldview. Parents should understand that only versatile communication makes the upbringing process complete, and the role of the family in the upbringing of the child is of paramount importance. The value of the family itself, family values ​​and ideals should have a special place in society. Analyzing the concept of "family", it is impossible not to touch on the very concept of "parenthood", which is understood as a separately functioning subsystem that has its own stages of development, which is located in the determining family system and is considered in two forms: fatherhood and motherhood. Parents are the first social environment for the development of the child, ensuring the satisfaction of almost all of his needs, including love and affection. The need for parental love is one of the strongest and longest human needs; a child of any age needs it. Maternal and paternal love are constituent parts of the holistic phenomenon of parental love. Influence of parents (more often mother) on mental development child has been closely studied since the 20s of the twentieth century. parental love has innate biological components, but in general, the parental attitude towards the child is a cultural and historical phenomenon, a historically changeable phenomenon that is influenced by social norms and values.

The purpose of the abstract : the study of the family as an important subject of pedagogical interaction, the identification of features of socio-cultural specifics different families search for the most effective pedagogical methods when working with a family raising a child.

1. Family: concepts of defining a family, stages of family development, types of families.

The family accompanies a person throughout his life.Family- this is a special kind of team that plays in the upbringing of the main, long-term and essential role. This is one of the most precise definitions families from a pedagogical point of view.

The family can also be defined as a socio-cultural factor: the union of a man and a woman, bound by certain obligations to raise children and solve everyday problems. The family is focused on educating the spiritual and universal values ​​of the younger generation. The family, as a subject of pedagogy, can be viewed from several angles, since family life is characterized by multilateral relationships: socio-biological, moral, psychological, economic and economic. Each stage in the development of the family is associated with the loss of some and the emergence of other functions, with a change in the scale and nature of the social activities of its members.

The question of the classification, typology of families is very important, because the presence of such a classification makes it easier for a person to find his own kind in countless families in order to borrow the experience of organizing life, by analogy with them, to most successfully solve his problems. This question is very complex, so there is no strict typology of the family yet.

Families are classified according to:

1. According to the family experience of the spouses. Here are the families:

Family of newlyweds;

Young family;

Family expecting a baby;

Family of middle marital age;

Family of older marital age;

Elderly couples.

2. By the number of children, the following types of families are distinguished:

Childless (infertile) families.

Single family.

The large family.

3. By family composition:

Incomplete family - when the family has only one parent with children.

separate, simple family(nuclear). It is formed by spouses with or without children, living separately from their parents.

Complex family (extended) - consists of representatives of several generations.

Big family, consisting of three or more married couples (parental couple and several children with their families).

4. According to the type of family leadership. There are two main types of families:

Egalitarian (equal) family. The distribution of household duties here is carried out democratically, depending on who does this or that job better. There is no struggle for power, because the spouses are focused on the interests of the family and do not seek to command each other;

An authoritarian family based on the unquestioning obedience of one family member to another. Of the total mass of families, according to some data, one-sixth of families are of the matriarchal type, and one-eighth of the patriarchal type. Families of this type are quite often torn apart by the struggle for power and therefore are full of all sorts of conflicts, most often small ones.

5. According to the homogeneity of the social composition:

Socially homogeneous (homogeneous). In these families, the husband and wife and their parents belong to the same strata of society: they are all workers or all employees.

Socially heterogeneous (diverse). The spouses in them have unequal education, different professions, the common interests of the production plan are usually much less here.

6. By the quality of relationships in the family:

Prosperous;

sustainable;

Problematic;

conflict;

Socially disadvantaged;

Disorganized families.

7. By type of consumer behavior:

With a physical bias, where the problems of biological existence usually come first: food, clothes occupy all the interests of family members not from its poverty, but from the level of significance of these values ​​for them;

With an intellectual type of behavior - these families in terms of material security may not differ at all from the first type of family, but their members much more often prefer to have good book than a tasty dish;

mixed type a family in which interests, material and even physiological needs are harmoniously combined with spiritual interests.

8. For special conditions of family life:

Student life.

distant families.

Of course, the above list is far from exhausting all types of families. Of greatest interest is the patriarchal family. Each family has certain norms of behavior, its own values, traditions, and if a person relies on the norms, values ​​and opinions of his family members, then it acts as a reference (significant) group with which he relates himself as standard. The family, as a reference group, has two main functions - normative and comparative, the fulfillment of which is important both for society and for family members, it contributes to the satisfaction of social needs. As a consequence of the failure of the family to varying degrees of its basic functions, determined by generally accepted criteria within the existing value systems, a crisis and disorganization arise.

Each family develops and forms according to its own scenario, but the absolute immutable influence of parents in early childhood on the subsequent development of the personality is undeniable, since only a parent is able to provide the whole range of relationships and satisfy the need for love in the first years of a child’s life.

2. Fundamentals of family pedagogy

So, we have considered various concepts of the definition of a family, the stage of development of a family, as well as types of families. Next, we turn to the consideration of the basics of family pedagogy.

Of course, children become the main object of the direct action of the family; now let's talk about who a child is in the system of the institution of the family.

The first task of parents is to find a common solution, to convince each other. If it is necessary to compromise, then it is imperative that the basic requirements of the parties be met. When one parent makes a decision, he must remember the position of the second.

The second task is to make sure that the child does not see contradictions in the positions of the parents, i.e. discussing these issues is better without him.

The concepts of "family", "parenthood", "family education" are inextricably interrelated. In the psychological and pedagogical literature, there are at least three groups of approaches to family education, which can be conditionally called: psychoanalytic; behavioral; humanistic.

The style of relationship between a parent and a child is not only a means of maintaining contact with him, but also a kind of method of educating relationships.

Communication with parents in the early years, their influence on the ways of solving typical age-related contradictions, conflicts and failures of adaptation affect later, manifest themselves as characteristic problems already in an adult. Negative children's experience leads to infantilism, self-centeredness, increased aggressiveness, which constitutes personal prerequisites for difficulties in realizing one's own parental role, and for future rejection of one's own child.

The behaviorist model of family education is based on the fact that the development of the human psyche depends mainly on social environment and living conditions, that is, the stimuli supplied by the environment: the immediate environment of the child, the situation, consisting of specific life situations. Hence the main thing is the special organization of the environment of the child. Parental Behavior- predominantly a model for extracting some common features, rules of conduct, a role model for a child in an attempt to build their own behavior. Reinforcement is necessary to maintain the behavior that has arisen on the basis of imitation.

The humanistic approach considers a person, first of all, as a social being, whose development occurs through the prism of social relations. The family atmosphere, attitudes, values, mutual respect of family members and healthy love of parents contribute to the development of a wide social interest in a child. Education is considered not only from the point of view of benefits for an individual family and child, but also as an activity of parents that affects the state of society as a whole.

Researchers observe a certain correspondence between certain types of upbringing and types of destructive, deviant, deviant behavior.

Hyper-custody - children are deprived of acting independently, overcoming obstacles. This leads to an inferiority complex and is expressed in low self-esteem. Exorbitant claims may have various shades: may develop, for example, the psychology of a slave (in relation to people in power) or the desire for unlimited power over others. There may be a guilt complex. Unpredictable emotional reactions on the part of parents prone to unexpected changes in mood and attitude towards children. This leads to the formation of self-doubt, which gradually becomes a character trait and is further projected onto relationships with other people. As a result - conflict relations, disbelief in the stability of friendship, marriage, etc.

Hypoopeka- insufficient attention to children. It is formed in single-parent families, where children are left to their own devices. The development of the personality is delayed, the spiritual sphere of the child is not formed, the will is poorly developed. Hypoprotection - the lack of necessary care for the child, leads to the formation of asociality, unpredictability.

Dominant hyperprotection - excessive, obsessive care for the child, blocking his independence and initiative.

Indulgent hyperprotection is the desire of parents to satisfy all the needs and whims of the child, defining for him the role of the idol of the family. It leads to the formation of incontinence in negative emotions, difficulties in communication. Emotional rejection- rejection of the child in all its manifestations, which leads to the formation of cruelty, difficulties in communication. Abusive relationships can manifest themselves explicitly - in the form of beatings, or covertly - in the form of emotional hostility and coldness. From point of view mental health families, there are two main types of families.

Prosperous - their problems, as a rule, are caused by internal contradictions and conflicts that are associated with: excessive desire to protect each other, help other family members ("condescending, conniving overprotection" and "excessive guardianship"); with the inadequacy of correlating one's own ideas about the family and the social requirements that are placed on it at this stage social development(difficulties in perceiving the contradictions of modern society).

Unfavorable type (problematic, conflict, crisis families): psychological problems arise from the dissatisfaction of the needs of one or more family members. The main problem, as a rule, is the position of the child in the family and the attitude towards him.

The consequence of family trouble is the growth of socio-psychological maladjustment of children and adolescents, which is understood as the inability of an individual to respond adequately to the requirements placed on him, which are based on expectations that correspond to his social status and his place in a specific system of existing interpersonal relations. Social maladaptation is manifested in the violation of morality and law, antisocial forms of behavior and deformation of the system of internal regulation, reference and value orientations, social attitudes.

3. Psychological and pedagogical methods of working with the child's family

Before proceeding to a description of the main forms and methods of working with students' parents, it is necessary to dwell on the identification of some psychological and pedagogical rules for such interaction and ways to establish contacts with the family.
1. The work with the family and the public should be based on actions and activities aimed at strengthening and increasing the authority of parents. A didactic, edifying, categorical tone is intolerable in the work of a class teacher, as it can be a source of resentment, irritation, and awkwardness. The need for parents to consult after the categorical "should", "must" disappears. Most often, parents know their responsibilities, but not everyone in practice gets upbringing the way it should be. They need to know not only what to do, but also how to do it. The only correct norm for the relationship between teachers and parents is mutual respect. Then the forms of control become the exchange of experience, advice and joint discussion, a single solution that satisfies both parties. The value of such relationships is that they develop both teachers and parents a sense of their own responsibility, exactingness, and civic duty.
2. Trust in educational opportunities parents, raising the level of their pedagogical culture and activity in education. Psychologically, parents are ready to support all the requirements, affairs and undertakings of the school. Even those parents who do not have pedagogical training and high education treat their children with deep understanding and responsibility.
3. Pedagogical tact, inadmissibility of careless interference in family life. Whatever the family, whatever educators the parents are, one must always be tactful, benevolent.
4. Life-affirming attitude in solving the problems of education, reliance on positive traits child, on strengths family education, orientation to successful developmentpersonality.

The formation of the character of the pupil is not without difficulties, contradictions and surprises. At the same time, it is important that if this is perceived as a manifestation of the laws of development (its uneven and spasmodic nature, rigid causation, the selective nature of the relationship of the educated person to educational influences, the measure of verbal and practical methods of influence), then difficulties, contradictions, and unexpected results do not cause teacher confusion. Pedagogical consultations- common form individual work. Unfortunately, the activity of parents often decreases markedly as students move from class to class. The consultation is based on answers to questions from parents. The psychological and pedagogical foundations of the consultation are: the approving attitude of teachers to the initiative of parents; expression of willingness to help the family; specific recommendations and advice on parenting issues. The family makes a certain contribution to the formation of the psychological characteristics of the child's sex, which include a certain set of character traits, behaviors, attitudes, emotional reactions etc. The family is the main source of practical learning and experience in family life, educating a person as a family man. In it, as experience shows, a child develops moral and emotional values ​​necessary for future family life - marital feelings, paternal and maternal, filial and daughter attachments. On the example of the mother, the girl receives the first lessons of femininity, and the boy, on the example of the father, of masculinity. The best pedagogical position, as experience shows, to which both parents should strive, is the recognition of the child as an individual, as an equal member of the family, the development of a realistic sense of his own significance. At the same time, perhaps, respect for his individuality is especially necessary. The best way to influence is explanation, not imposition or coercion. In this case, the child will know what is expected of him, understand that he is able to justify these expectations.

Family education methods can be divided into two groups: methods of everyday communication, trusting interaction and methods of pedagogical and psychological impact on the child in order to correct his consciousness and behavior.

Psychological, including social and psychological support and correction. Support is aimed at creating a favorable microclimate in the family during a short-term crisis. Correction of interpersonal relations occurs mainly when there is mental violence against a child in the family, leading to a violation of his neuropsychic and physical condition.

Mediation, which includes assistance in organizing, coordinating and informing.

Assistance in the organization is aimed at organizing family leisure. Assistance in coordination is aimed at activating various departments and services in order to jointly resolve the problems of a particular family and the situation of a particular child.

Assistance in information is aimed at providing the family with information on social protection issues. It takes the form of a consultation. Questions may relate to housing, family and marriage, labor, civil, pension legislation, as well as the rights of children, women, the disabled and the problems that exist within the family.

Let us dwell in more detail on the main forms of work with the family. One of these forms is social patronage - a visit to the family at home for diagnostic, control, adaptation and rehabilitation purposes, which allows you to establish and maintain long-term ties with the family, identifying its problem situations in a timely manner, providing immediate assistance. Patronage makes it possible to observe the family in its vivo, which allows you to reveal more information than lies on the surface.

Along with patronage, individual and consultation conversations with parents should be highlighted.

advantage individual conversation is that parents are more frank about their problems in family relationships. In individual conversations, it is necessary to adhere to the main rule: the content of an individual conversation should be the property of only those who are talking, it should not be disclosed. You should be very attentive to the requests of parents. You can only refuse a request if doing so would harm the child.

Counseling conversations are intended mainly to help people who have difficulty in solving life problems. In your work, you should use the most common methods of counseling: emotional contagion, suggestion, persuasion, artistic analogies, mini-trainings.

Individual communication not only gives him the opportunity to influence the parents, but in turn helps him in many ways in choosing the right approach to children.

Group forms of work with the family include meetings of parents, collective consultations, conversations, lectures, conferences, group trainings, speeches to parents and children, preparation and participation in extracurricular and extracurricular activities.

The plan includes such activities with the family as organizing excursions to various enterprises in the place of work of the parents. As well as organizing excursions and walks around the city in order to acquaint children with the enterprises and institutions of the city, the products they produce, conduct conversations about professions and their benefits to people.

Group work methods give parents the opportunity to share experiences with each other, ask questions and seek support and approval in the group, try on the role of leader. This allows you to develop the activity and confidence of parents.

Another form of work with the family is socio-pedagogical monitoring of the family. This is a scientifically substantiated system of periodic collection, generalization and analysis of socio-pedagogical information about the processes taking place in the family, and the adoption of strategic and tactical decisions on this basis. The essence of family monitoring is complex use all sources of data on the processes and events of family life, both of a natural nature and obtained in the course of a specially organized study.

The forms and methods of working with parents are varied, and the main thing when choosing one or another method of working with a family is to take into account both the circumstances of a particular social situation in the family, including the character traits of all its members, the tactics of family education, and the features of the system of working with the family as a whole.

Conclusion

It can be concluded that for effective family education it is necessary to form in the parents themselves a pedagogically expedient focus on constant communication with their own children.

For successful family education, it is also necessary to establish certain priorities in the distribution of family responsibilities: this helps to form in children such qualities as responsibility for the task assigned, diligence, readiness to help others, which in the future will be very important in the process of socialization of the individual. In this regard, there is no doubt the need to include children in family life by introducing them to work, participating in the preparation of family holidays, joint leisure; education in children of the ability to be attentive, caring, understand the mood of loved ones, and the education of such qualities is the preparation of children for life in society, for the future functions of parents.

The influence of the family on the development of a growing person at different stages does not remain the same. The family is the only pedagogical system, the impact of which a person experiences throughout his life. The family, with its value orientations, features of interpersonal relations, the whole way of life and lifestyle, directly or indirectly, to a greater or lesser extent, not only influences the formation of the child's personality, but also prepares the child for his future family life, because the family shares its educational function with others. social systems and institutions: what stronger relationship and continuity between family education and public education, the more significant its result.

Bibliography

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