The windows of my apartment overlook the playground of the kindergarten. Not the worst in the area...
Every day from the window I watch the kids with their caps untied or sitting in the rain in the gazebo next to the reading room. love story paperback by educator…

Kindergarten modern child needed. But in what form? Is it really in the way it has existed for many decades in our country? After all, if we turn to history, the first Kindergarten was created more than two hundred years ago in 1802 in the Scottish town of New Lanark by the manufacturer Robert Owen for the children of the workers of his factory.

If we turn to the history of the development of kindergartens in the USSR, then in 1919 the task was set to create a “network of preschool institutions: nurseries, kindergartens, hearths, etc., in order to improve public education and emancipation of women. V. I. Lenin, calling these institutions "sprouts of communism", defined them in principle important role in a socialist society. As for public education, it is more or less clear, but what was meant by the emancipation of women? Maximum release of her from the role of the mother, the keeper of the hearth, in order to obtain additional free hands for the plant and factory?

Kindergartens and nurseries, of course, gained the greatest popularity precisely in Soviet time- this was due primarily to the fact that it was impossible for my mother not to work - labor legislation in Soviet times was much less loyal to women with children than the current one. However, even if the family was wealthy and the woman had the opportunity not to work, but to take care of children, the so-called “sitting” at home has always been considered almost parasitism, and something asocial. Thus, following the public opinion, many who had the opportunity not to send their children to a nursery and kindergarten, gave them there - otherwise it was not right ...

It is necessary to recognize the fact that the regime of most state and municipal kindergartens is "tuned" to the regime of life of the Soviet worker. When you need to get up at 6 in the morning, take the baby to the garden by 7, and at 5 it is already desirable to pick it up, otherwise you risk meeting a dumb (at best case) reproach of the educator.

Now most of the "office" schedules are 9.00-18.00 or 10.00-19.00. How to get into the kindergarten schedule with them, without involving grandmothers and nannies, is not entirely clear.

But it's all about parental "comfort". What about children? What is it like for them?

When does a child really need a garden, and in what form? Are we asking this question?

Research modern psychologists show that a child aged 4-5 years needs mandatory communication with peers - in socialization.

And before school, children who did not attend kindergarten for different reasons, it is still recommended that at least for a few months, preferably for a year - they still give it to kindergarten. By this age (5-6 years), the child is already able to survive on a completely different level separation from loved ones for several hours a day (just a few, not 8-10 hours), adequately take care of himself, spend a fairly long time in classes, in games with peers, outside the home.

At 2-3 years old for a child - daily separation from parents for 8 hours - this is a huge stress that affects both physical and psychological health.

Of course, many may object - they say, my girl has been going to a nursery since a year and a half, she was sick only for the first six months, and then she ran to the garden with pleasure and there were no problems. Yes, kids are adaptable. But still, for most kids, kindergarten is a serious test, is it necessary enough to injure him? It is at 2-3 years old (the age at which, as a rule, babies are sent to kindergarten) that trust in the world around them is formed. And how do we ruthlessly destroy it, leaving every morning for such a necessary work?

Work for adults is necessary not only from a material point of view, and you can often hear that a child goes to kindergarten, because circumstances have developed in the family (you need to earn money !!!). But do we, in the 21st century, have full gardens of “circumstances”? At a time when children are now for the most part (I want to believe it) are born desired and planned, and in some cases even very hard for their parents to get?

Yes, there are single mothers, there are, indeed, circumstances - you can’t predict everything in life.

However, there are also many full, well-to-do families who take their children to kindergartens - because everyone does it, but, of course, because it is convenient and frees up time.

So why do we, traditionally, continue to be led by a system that was once created incorrectly?

Many will object: they work with children in the kindergarten ... But don’t you work with children at home? Do not sculpt, do not draw? Do not drive in circles - sections? There, after all, the child receives not only development on the chosen topic, but also communication. It has a different form, but up to 5-6 years it is usually enough. Later - it will already be small, since communication in circles - studios is rather fleeting, while the baby needs to be able to build relationships with other children and people, without being under the supervision of his mother and without receiving help from her.

However, the most important reason of our decision to send the baby to kindergarten as soon as possible is, first of all, that in our country there are really very few jobs for women with children - it is extremely difficult to find worthwhile job with a part-time schedule in the office, work at home. Most of these proposals are associated with low-intellectual labor. This, of course, is also a problem.

The conclusion is that the kindergarten in the form in which it exists with its own rules and regimen is now suitable for children 5-6 years old. And at the age of 6, children are usually not taken to a regular kindergarten - groups of this age are overcrowded. It turns out a vicious circle ...

And yet, what is considered a utopia - a modern kindergarten, with a child staying in it for 8-10 hours a day, or completely home education before certain age, which has always been in the noble families of Russia? Obviously, a compromise needs to be found. You need to look for and choose where and how your child will spend time without you. As an alternative and help in preparing the baby for a "real" kindergarten or school, there may be:

• The so-called child play support centers at kindergartens (sounds ominous for short: CIPR) have recently appeared in almost every district. These groups at kindergartens, with kids staying in them 2-3 times a week, for several hours, without a mother, are free.
• Unfortunately, private kindergartens are very expensive (comparable to the salary of a good nanny), and not every district has them within walking distance, which is also an important factor, in case you yourself, for example, on some days cannot to take or pick up the baby by car - this will need to be done by a nanny or grandmother.
• Private centers early development with a part-time group (from 9.00 to 13.00 or from 15.00 to 19.00, for example). This option is the most comfortable for the child. The cost is more or less acceptable, socialization + development + a few free hours for mom - everything is there. But also, it is necessary to involve nannies, in case you still work full time.
• home kindergartens. The cost is great. There are not all areas within walking distance.

Speaking of the cost of private kindergartens - despite the seeming simplicity of opening such an institution, with detailed calculations it turns out that such a cost is quite justified - unfortunately, the costs of maintaining private kindergartens in our country are very high - so high that the profits for the owners are not the same too much, as it might seem at first glance.

In conclusion, it is worth noting that many of the arguments in this article have nothing to do with those altruistic educators working in public kindergartens- who do what they love for real, and not because they cannot find another job. There are such educators, but, unfortunately, they are very few.

Kindergarten - a small death for a child

Hello dear blog readers A life hand made ! Does a child need kindergarten? Is it necessary to go there in order to socialize in society and be fully healthy? developed personality in future? But don’t mothers deceive young people when they say that children are bored without a kindergarten? Or is there a catch somewhere?

I can say for sure - the title of the article will immediately cause a wave of indignation among many. How so? Kindergarten is the first step in the child's socialization, it is the development of the baby, these are communication skills, accustoming to the regime necessary child for later life etc. etc. And here - a small death ... What kind of horrors am I writing?

The term “little death” was not invented by me, unfortunately. It is borrowed from the book by Olga Pisarik.

What is the book about, and what does it have to do with such an attitude towards a seemingly good institution - a kindergarten?

But the fact is that up to a certain age, a child with his parents, first of all, with his mother, exists inseparable bond. 9 months on physical level in the form of an umbilical cord, and further on psychologically all my life. And this connection can be useful and pleasant, contributing to the development of the child and rapprochement with the mother, or it can be traumatic and painful, but it still exists.

And what happens when a mother, worried or tired of a “sticky baby,” begins to distance him from herself in every possible way? First, in a separate bed, then to grandmothers and nannies, and, of course, to kindergarten. There is tension in the spring. Have you ever stretched a spring? You pull it, and it tends to shrink. The more you stretch it, the stronger the resistance and at some point it contracts sharply, and it’s good if it doesn’t hit the forehead.

The same goes for bonding with a child. He needs the physical presence of his mother next to a certain age. Psychologists do not name the exact age, for each child it is individual.

The more you try to distance the child, the later the separation will occur.

At the age of three comes one of the most important age crises The child has - "The crisis of the formation of personality". It is from this period that the child begins to feel like a separate person, the will is formed, the desire for independence is actively manifested, the child wants to be the same as adults. And all the same, despite his independence, he actively needs the warmth and affection of his mother.

How more baby matures, the more independence he needs to provide, but gently, carefully, observing whether he is ready for it, and whether he will choke in free swimming.

Let's go back to kindergarten. Some mothers go to work when the baby turns a month or two. Here I generally refrain from commenting. In the article "" I wrote about the role of a woman that she must play in the first years of a child's life in order to form a healthy psyche of a baby.

The only reason I could accept was that my mother would starve to death if she didn't show up for work. And there is no one else to feed. Well, that's survival instinct.

The next wave of those wishing to go to work is a 1.5-year-old child. It is during this period that the baby becomes very active and many mothers are downright crazy. I want to relax, change the situation of a boring house. And then a good reason acceptable for justification appears - “the baby is bored at home”, “he needs company”, “there are various developmental activities in the kindergarten”, etc.

It wouldn’t be honest to say - “I’m worn out”, “I want to be socially necessary”, “that I studied in vain”, well, or “I want money for a new fur coat, hat, car, ... but my husband cannot earn money”, etc. .P. Modern women now they are very socially active, which, like any medal, has two sides.

Baby bored at home? Maybe. There are a lot interesting places and developing activities “together with mom”, which allow you to develop children without losing closeness with mom. On the contrary, they strengthen this connection.

The book Attachment, a Life-Saving Bond states that a child's need for attachment is basic, and a child can only develop normally when that need is met. Perhaps you have noticed that the child plays calmly on the sidelines and suddenly runs towards you, grabs your leg and asks to be held in your arms?

It's just the lack of that same attachment. As long as she was satisfied, the baby could safely go about his business. And then he needed confirmation - "mom is here, mom loves, everything is in order." If you picked him up, kissed him, hugged him, perhaps played together for some time, the child has filled his cup and is ready to be independent again. How older child, the deeper this bowl is filled and for a longer time it lasts.

And what happens in kindergarten? Mom wakes up the child at an unusual time for him (many kids wake up later), quickly collects him, gets nervous herself (especially if you can’t be late for work or didn’t get enough sleep or some other reason), quickly runs with him to kindergarten, leaves him there and runs away…

Children don't adjust as quickly as adults. A change of scenery for a child is stressful to which one must adapt. In a group of people, there are 10 of the same sleepy kids in stress, one teacher who has a bunch of his own thoughts and problems, and then other people's children need to be taken out of stress. He (the educator or rather the educator) has a regulation that must be worked out, otherwise the management will arrange "ay-ay-ay."

And it starts: we ate, drank, peed, played, went for a walk, ate, went to bed, woke up, peed, ate, played, walked and, thank God, they took everyone away. And so every day. And if a mother is at home, even doing household chores, she can give the child individual time, remind him that he is needed, loved, etc. Then in kindergarten "you need to eat", "you need to sleep" and it's best to be like everyone else and not interfere.

According to research in the book "Attachment is a vital bond", in children attending kindergarten, the level of cortisol, a stress hormone that does not have time to normalize in the evening at home, goes off scale.

It turns out that the development of the child is constantly under stress. Have you ever wondered why children, attending kindergarten, start to get sick? This is fine? Healthy child, for 2 years at home, he sneezed three times, and went to kindergarten and walks for a week, gets sick for two weeks ...

Perhaps close contact with other children is to blame? Psychologists associate this with a decrease in immunity due to an increase in cortisol. The immune system cannot withstand stress.

Olga Pisarik writes that the increase in cortisol levels in kindergarten is primarily associated with separation from her mother and being in the company of peers who are an unpredictable threat.

And children under 3 years old are most susceptible to such stress.

In fact, I don’t see the point in rewriting the book, I voiced the main postulates, and if you want to study this question deeper, then welcome to my library.

Read the book " Attachment is a vital bond"And, perhaps, you will take a closer look at your kids and their whims will no longer seem like a harmful trait of character. Perhaps they are incredibly hurt and lonely, but you do not understand this ...

Love your kids, openly, sincerely and free of charge, and it will pay off tenfold, because children's love is a huge source of pure energy.

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Very often, parents, in an attempt to find an answer to the question "Should I send my child to kindergarten?" guided own experience and childhood memories. For some, kindergarten was a necessity - there was simply no one to leave the child at home with. Someone did not go to him for the reasons that non-working mother should independently take care of the child before school, instead of “pushing” him into the garden. This approach cannot be called correct: over several decades, not only kindergartens have changed, but also the very approach to raising kids. Today, parents are increasingly asking the question: what will be best for the child? What does kindergarten give a child? Does he like it there, and if he doesn't like it, is it worth forcing? Will the child experience difficulties at school, in communicating with peers, if he never went to kindergarten? Do you need kindergarten? BrainApps will help you understand the situation and find answers to these questions.

Advantages and disadvantages of kindergarten for a child

Before asking such important and difficult questions, it would be nice to start to understand why a kindergarten is needed at all. Are there any specific positive sides stay of the child in this place, and what disadvantages is it important to remember when giving the child to the garden?

Benefits of having a child in kindergarten:

1. Regime compliance. The human body is designed in such a way that strict regime when meals, sleep, play activity and rest are scheduled by the hour, it is good for him. In the conditions of a house or apartment, it is much more difficult to organize compliance with the regime as flawlessly as it happens in a kindergarten.
2. Instilling discipline. Discipline is an integral part of the life of any person, but most often we encounter it outside the home. A child who grows up exclusively at home, surrounded by a family, cannot fully get to know the discipline. In the garden, he learns the rules and the need to adhere to them.
3. Development of independence. It is quite natural that when a teacher has to look after 15-20 children at the same time, he cannot give each of them as much attention as a child, for example, parents pay attention at home. In a kindergarten, a child is forced to learn independence: clean up toys, eat food on his own, and perform other activities appropriate for his age.
4. Socialization among adults. If a child does not go to kindergarten, the only adults in his life who have authority and play an important role are the parents. After the habit of obeying only mom and dad for 6-7 years, it can be difficult for a child who gets into school to adapt to the fact that there are teachers who also need to be obeyed. Kindergarten slowly accustoms the baby to what surrounds him a large number of adults who need to be respected and listened to.
5. At small child who lives at home and occasionally visits the playground, there is no opportunity to communicate with peers without the supervision of parents or caregivers. Communication with peers, however, is an integral part of the formation of personality. The child encounters other children, learns to get along with their characters, make friends and even enmity.
6. Physical and intellectual development. Everything here primarily depends on the kindergarten itself and whether parents have the opportunity to engage in the development of the child at home. Perfect option- combine the kindergarten program with the efforts of the parent to develop their beloved child. However, if a child spends around the clock watching cartoons and playing games, even a kindergarten with a not too versatile program will benefit. A child in kindergarten gets acquainted with foreign languages, learns to dance, do exercises, draw, sculpt from plasticine and much more.

Disadvantages of a child in kindergarten:

1. Separation from parents. The child, after being under the supervision of parents 24 hours a day, surrounded by love and care, is stressed in kindergarten, especially at first. Love and emotional support are extremely important for the development of the child, his self-confidence, which, alas, kindergarten cannot provide. Even in a very good institution, the educator is surrounded by too many children to give full attention to everyone.
2. fatigue. A child, like an adult, sometimes needs loneliness. Someone more, someone less, because even at a young age, children are divided into introverts and extroverts. In the garden, the child is almost not left to himself, he is constantly surrounded by people, he cannot be left alone and do what he himself would like. In some cases, this leads to psychological overwork.
3. Unfavorable environment. Not many parents have the opportunity to send their child to a kindergarten in which there would be children exclusively from prosperous families. Among peers there will definitely be children whose upbringing parents did not pay attention to, quite often they are rude and cocky.
4. Diseases. Often parents for whom kindergarten, due to work - a necessity, they bring children with a runny nose, fever and even the flu. According to the rules, the garden cannot but accept a sick child, so sick children infect healthy ones. This is one of the points with which nothing can be done, you just have to put up with it.
5. Socialization among peers. It is no coincidence that we have placed this item in both advantages and disadvantages. Yes, of course, it is useful for a child to spend time among other children, learn to communicate and establish contact. Unfortunately, communication between children does not always go according to the scenario planned by adults. The educator cannot physically follow each child and properly organize communication. At 3-4 years old, children may already quarrel and even fight, claim other people's toys, and play against the rules. It's good if the parents take care of the child and explain outside the kindergarten how to behave, but if not? For some kids, going to kindergarten is a real stress, since defending your property and interests is not always easy and not easy with everyone.

So is it necessary to send the child to kindergarten?

Now that we figured out what kindergartens have like significant advantages and cons, it's time to answer the most main question Q: Should I send my child to kindergarten?

Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to this question. It all depends on the child, his health, the ability to communicate with peers, your abilities and, of course, the kindergarten where you decide to send your child.

They used to like to say that a child who did not go to kindergarten is difficult to adapt to the conditions elementary school. In fact, the reason for the "difficult" adaptation lies not at all in the absence of some special skills that can only be obtained in kindergarten. Previously, when the vast majority of children went to kindergarten, the children had time to get to know each other, get to know each other well and even make friends. Then this already formed group, almost in its entirety, went to school, and of course, the newcomer did not feel very comfortable in the first grade. Today the situation has changed: parents decide to send their child to the kindergarten they need, and not the one closer to home, hire nannies or ask their parents for help. Children come to the first grade and do not experience problems with development, as only a few know each other.

In general, today there is absolutely no difference whether a child goes to kindergarten or not, if parents provide at home right conditions for development:

• regular classes to promote physical and psychological development;
• providing the opportunity to communicate with peers every day, for example, at a party or on the playground.

Moreover, an attentive, loving, free parent, who is ready to devote most of his time to the child, will do much more best job than any, the coolest and most wonderful garden. It is necessary to pay attention to what the child likes to do, but at the same time ensure diversified development: fine motor skills, modeling, drawing, counting, writing, development of memory and attention. By the way, great help in mental development The parent will be provided with games on the BrainApps website. Some of them are suitable even for the smallest, aimed at training memory, attention and thinking.

Don't forget the mugs or sport sections. They are needed not only for physical development child, but also to realize the authority of adults, teaching discipline and following the rules.

Thus, if you are wondering “do I need a kindergarten?” and you can’t find an answer, it’s better to ask yourself another question: “can you create the conditions for a child that are needed for full development if he doesn't go to kindergarten? What exactly should be the conditions? You should, if possible, recreate all the advantages of kindergarten, which we have listed above, in the conditions of a house or apartment. If you manage to do this, then the formation of the child will occur absolutely without problems, the baby will not somehow stand out badly against the background of peers who attended the kindergarten. If you are limited in time or not confident in your own abilities, then, perhaps, it is better for him to attend kindergarten at least periodically.

In this article we will talk about whether it is worth giving the baby to preschool, we will weigh all the pros and cons, find out if the mother can prepare the little one for school on her own.

Positive aspects of visiting

Many parents doubt whether it is possible to send their baby to kindergarten, because there will be no mother's care and stare. Their doubts can be dispelled due to a number of advantages of attending a preschool:

1. Routine. It is in kindergarten that the baby begins to live strictly by the clock, which is very useful. The whole day at the little one is planned, he eats by the hour, which favorably affects the digestion process. Of course, it is recommended to accustom the child to the regimen long before entering the preschool institution, because this way the baby will be more accustomed to adapting to the new environment, although the daily routine invented by the mother does not always coincide with that in the kindergarten. However, it is still easier for such children to adapt than for those who are used to getting everything on demand.
2. Rules and discipline. The kid gets used to the fact that you need to do everything right, along with the rest of the little ones, to obey the elders. The child is raised.
3. The kid is learning to be independent. Now he is not the only toddler with his mother, there are many peers around, and everyone learns to perform elementary actions without anyone's help, for example, clean up toys after themselves, eat from a spoon on their own.
4. Expansion of the circle of communication. Around the baby now not only relatives. Every day he is in a team in which there are both his peers and adults (teachers, nanny). The child realizes that there are other adults who need to be obeyed.
5. Immunity boost. This is achieved through frequent viruses and infections that are possible in the children's team. The kid had been ill - the body has developed antibodies. In addition, it is thanks to the kindergarten that the child has the opportunity to get sick with infections such as rubella, chickenpox or mumps in such young age. Children under seven years of age are much easier and without complications to endure these diseases than at an older or adult age.
6. In a preschool institution, a child is engaged in creativity every day, closer to school, the preparation of an intellectual level begins, they are taught to do exercises in the morning. Thus, when attending kindergarten, the child develops physically and mentally.

What's wrong with kindergarten

Because of the rather serious disadvantages, many parents do not dare to send their baby to a preschool. Let's look at them:

1. The baby is under a lot of stress. All his adult life he was next to his mother, and now she is not around. In addition, he is used to being under constant care, they take care of him, love him, and then there are other people's aunts who still have plenty of people like him.
2. The child wants to be alone, as before. And there are always a lot of children around, they make noise, squeal. This can seriously overwork the baby.
3. There may be a child in the group who will misbehave, disobey, offend other kids. He can harm your little one or set a bad example with his actions.
4. Many children, getting into the garden, often begin to get sick. For some, everything returns to normal in a couple of weeks, while others do not get out of the hospital, and are forced to stop attending kindergarten.
5. In the kindergarten there is no opportunity to pay attention to each baby individually. Due to this, the child cannot develop correctly, taking into account all individual characteristics.
6. There are a lot of children in the group, the teacher is not able, even with a nanny, to 100% monitor the kids. Because of this, there is a risk that your little one will fall or be injured in another way.

1. Many toddlers get bored in preschool. It’s good if you got an intelligent teacher, and he really works with children. And there are times when children are taken out into the yard and left to their own devices. Someone will definitely find something to do, and someone will just sit on the bench.
2. The type of food and food that will be fed to him in the garden may not suit the baby.

We care about mental health

You need to understand that a baby who enters a kindergarten may react differently to a change of scenery. According to the variant of adaptive processes, three types of children are distinguished:

For a child who constantly communicated only with relatives, was the only baby in the family, now the most difficult thing is to merge into children's team without stress. In addition to the fact that there are many kids like him around, his mother has also disappeared somewhere. Therefore, it is important to spend with crumbs preparatory stage. You must take him to the playgrounds. Explain that you need to share your toys with others. It would be nice to leave the baby for a day with grandma or dad, and then you can with a friend, so that the little one understands that mom does not always have to be with him.

You need to know that a child, getting into kindergarten, can start copying someone, most often he takes an example from not good children.

Also in the team there will definitely be aggressive kid, a bully who will offend other little ones. You need to take this into account when taking your child to a preschool.

Suitable age

Here, in a sense, it all depends on the individual characteristics of the baby. Some children grow up earlier, learn to be independent earlier, calmly endure separation from their mother, and therefore are quite ready to attend preschool.

However, most experts tend to think that optimal age to visit the garden will be the fourth year of life. After three years Children already understand and know how to do a lot of things. As practice shows, children of this age, getting into kindergarten, get sick much less often and go through a period of adaptation without unnecessary stress.

You also need to consider at what age you take your baby for the first time to a preschool, do not leave him there all day at once. Let the first week be adaptation and acquaintance with a new place. Bring the baby literally for an hour or two, and then take it home. Then try to leave it until lunch, pick it up at that time also for several days. And then you can leave it for the whole day. See how the baby feels.

Attendance at a preschool Last year before school will not only intellectually prepare your baby, it will also allow you to accustom the child to discipline, to listening to the elder in the form of a teacher, teach perseverance and group work. These skills will help your child adapt to school more easily.

If you do not want your child to attend a preschool, take care that it will take a lot of strength and patience, and the work of intellectual preparation will fall on your shoulders. In fact, this will be a very crucial moment. But you definitely need to give the baby to some circle before school. There he will be able to join the team and get in touch with the teacher. It can be like sections on creativity, for example, a circle visual arts, and special circles for preparing for school. Also, do not forget to visit playgrounds with the little one, tell the baby what is bad and what is good, explain that you need to share with other children.

Generation modern mothers and dads, for the most part, are former kindergarteners. Indeed, in old days the question of whether the child will go to kindergarten was not even raised in most families. Parents worked, parental leave was short, the state provided places in nurseries and kindergartens for all children. Now the situation has changed. Mothers do not always strive to "actively participate in productive work and public life”, as it was in the USSR. In addition, thanks to the development of psychology in the mass consciousness, the conviction of the importance of maintaining the attachment of the baby to the mother is being strengthened. Of course, in many families, a woman's exit to work when the child is 3 years old is dictated by the harsh realities of life, and today's grandmothers do not at all strive to spend all their time with their grandchildren, especially since they did not "sit" with their own children - they worked. Nevertheless, some parents think about whether it is worth sending their child to kindergarten, because everyone knows that children there cry in the morning, especially at first, they start to get sick, and indeed, there are more and more opponents of kindergartens around, and probably for good reason.

Disputes about whether a child needs a kindergarten are inferior in their bitterness only to battles over vaccination. Serious arguments are given ... Supporters of the kindergarten, of which the majority so far, assure - without a kindergarten in modern realities the child will grow up as a sociophobe, absolutely unadapted to society, it will be difficult for him at school, he will forever miss the period when he could learn to communicate normally with people. Opponents of kindergartens compare them with orphanages - they say, why give birth if you get rid of a child who needs a family, and not an "incubator" with strangers? Let's not go to extremes and try to figure out why kindergartens cause so much controversy.

"FOR" kindergarten: the benefits of kindergarten - development, socialization, the first school of life

The arguments “for” kindergarten sound weighty enough. Here are the main ones:

1) Kindergarten teaches the child to communicate to establish first contacts with peers. Man is certainly a social being. Toddlers from 2-3 years old begin to show an active interest in other children - first they look closely, and then they try to interact. With the help of a kindergarten, it is easiest for a child to organize communication with peers. The baby has the first friends, he learns to respond to conflict situations, act as a team.

2) Kindergartens are equipped necessary equipment for comprehensive development child . Babies are cared for and cared for qualified specialists- teachers, psychologists, speech therapists. modern education makes serious demands on future first-graders, and parents are more comfortable entrusting their child to a professional than relying on their own strength. In addition, at home it is sometimes difficult to provide the baby with enough space for games, sports and creative activities.

3) Being in kindergarten, the child learns discipline, order, obedience . “Kindergarten” children are more likely to comply with the regime than “home”. If at home the time of eating or walking can change from day to day, then in the kindergarten the rules are strictly regulated, without this a high-quality organization of the children's group is impossible. Many children in the team eat better and sleep during the day, while at home they have to be persuaded or come to terms with the failure to fulfill the requirements of adults.

4) Kindergarten develops independence . If at home the baby largely relies on his mother (dad, grandmother), then in the kindergarten he is deprived of the opportunity to ask his relatives to do something for him. Willy-nilly, the child learns to act independently. Many mothers claim that it was the kindergarten that helped their children master the potty or start talking better.

5) Some diseases are more easily tolerated in childhood . To a home child often there is no place to catch them in order to get immunity for life.

6) Kindergartens protect modern children from influence electronic gadgets . In kindergarten, children are engaged, walking, providing opportunities free play, while at home many children spend most of the day watching cartoons and playing games on their tablet. Kindergarten often becomes the only place where the child is distracted from the screen.

7) Sending the child to kindergarten, the mother has the opportunity to go to work or mind your own business. This reason does not apply to the "pluses" of the kindergarten for the child, but indirectly affects him. If the mother in her heart is annoyed at the baby for the fact that he “gets in the way”, “does not allow to earn”, “ties his hands”, the baby undoubtedly feels this. In this case, the admission of the child to kindergarten calms the woman and makes her more balanced and friendly towards the child. Of course, it should be said separately about mothers who are not able to stay at home with a child - single mothers, widows, as well as women who are in constrained financial circumstances for one reason or another. In this case, the kindergarten becomes the only way out, even if the mother herself strives to be with the baby with all her heart.

"AGAINST" the kindergarten: the harm of the kindergarten - separation from the family, psychological trauma, education of the "cog of the System"

Despite the apparent unambiguity of the benefits of the kindergarten, there are also a lot of arguments “against”:

1) The need for children's "socialization" is exaggerated . The need of the child to communicate with peers, of course, exists. But is a closed group of children of the same age ideal model society for a small child? Doubtful. The first society for a child is his family, then family friends, and only then, with the acquisition of experience and confidence, “strangers”. Kindergarten, in fact, does not allow the baby to move away from loved ones in a natural, non-violent way. A child, usually very small, 2-3 years old, is abruptly immersed in an unfamiliar environment, left depending on a stranger, an adult, surrounded by a crowd of children. No one will deny that entering kindergarten is a big stress for the baby. In addition, if we talk about socialization, the kindergarten partially takes away the opportunity to communicate with people. different ages participation in the lives of adults real affairs and not artificially created developmental activities.

2) Kindergarten negatively impacts mother-child bonding . Moms who don’t know what to do at home with a child all day long, convinced that he needs constant entertainment (“And I’m not a teacher or an animator!”) And striving to load their beloved child to the maximum various circles and sections - now a lot. It is hard for women to be close to their children, which is why they are trying to “attach” them somewhere. And children quickly get used to isolation from the family - not only from their mother, but also, for example, from younger brothers and sisters. If the child spends most of the day away from home He is definitely learning to be part of a team. But... the life of the family remains for him something blurry and uncertain, which may well "come around" in the distant future.

3) The need for a kindergarten as a stage of preparation for school is questionable . To organize developmental classes according to age, in general, is within the power of any mother.

The famous Russian teacher K.D. Ushinsky wrote about kindergartens: “ No matter how rational the activities and games of children in them are, they can have a harmful effect on the child if he spends most of the day in them. No matter how clever the activity or the game that one learns in kindergarten, they are already bad because the child did not learn on his own, and the more intrusive the kindergarten in this respect, the more harmful they are.<…>Even a noisy society of children, if the child is in it from morning to evening, should act harmfully. The child needs completely solitary and independent attempts at childish activity, not caused by imitation of children or adults.».

4) Home education allows the child to develop true independence because at home he does not have to obey the imposed rules. Mom helps the baby gradually expand his area of ​​​​responsibility, deciding what clothes he wants to wear, what to play with, when to go for a walk, what to eat (or refuse to eat). In the kindergarten, the baby only obeys - all decisions are made for him. He quickly gets used to such a model of relations that does not imply equality, the ability to negotiate and seek compromises. Having grown older, a child who remembers the phrase “you must obey your elders” will either consider himself knowingly powerless next to adults, or will begin to protest against such injustice.

5) Frequent illnesses are an integral part of the adaptation to the kindergarten in most kids. Immunity is weakened not only due to being in crowded conditions, but also due to psychosomatic reasons. The child wants to be at home with his mother instead of going to kindergarten ... and gets sick. “A week in the garden, a month on sick leave” is a typical story that can often be heard among mothers. Is this a necessary “hardening” for immunity? The question is moot.

6) Kindergarten does not take into account the needs of an individual child . The kindergarten regime does not imply variability, it is simply impossible to organize it. The baby's biorhythms change day by day, as they depend on many factors: health, weather, mood, etc. And in kindergarten, the regime is always the same, and no changes are expected to it. Forcing "on time" to eat and sleep can even lead to problems with nervous system and work of the gastrointestinal tract.

In addition, even the smallest ones already show a certain temperament. For example, fast and impulsive choleric people radically differ in their behavior from calm and unhurried phlegmatic people - and the requirements for both are the same. If a child is constantly pushed or upset, this subsequently results in serious complexes, a feeling of “I am not the way I should be”, inability to plan time, etc.

7) The child adopts behaviors that are not accepted in the family . Early childhood- the age when the baby absorbs everything that surrounds him, and accepts it as the norm. If the family does not accept assault, manifestations of aggression, the use of rude words, but the child hears and sees such behavior every day in the garden, it becomes the norm for him. You can not expect from a 2-3-4-year-old crumbs of awareness in making decisions: he will either surrender to the strong, or follow his example.

8) Kindergarten ruins individuality . It is more convenient for a kindergarten teacher if the children behave in approximately the same way, fulfill the necessary requirements, and obey. In the kindergarten, it is “profitable” to be like everyone else, and individuality is not welcome. It happens that the child is corrected if he wants to stick the appliqué detail differently than the instruction prescribes. In addition, in kindergarten, kids begin to imitate each other, instead of developing freely, focusing primarily on close people.

9) Not all teachers love kids. . It's no secret that kindergarten is very busy. different people, and there are only a few sincere fans of their profession among them. Working with a group of children of the same age is very difficult, and the human psyche is adaptive, so over the years, educators usually become more indifferent and even callous towards their wards. No, they may not necessarily be rude or irresponsible, but expect them to warm attitude Not specifically for your child. If only because it is almost impossible to give the necessary attention, affection and care to each of 20-30 children.

Does a child need a kindergarten: the opinions of psychologists

Gordon Neufeld, PhD, founder of his own institute in Canada, author of Watch Out for Your Children, translated into 10 languages, states:

“Premature socialization has always been considered the greatest evil in raising children… When children are placed together too early before they can be themselves, they become like everyone else, and this breaks their individuality, not hones it.”

According to Dr. Neufeld, the ability to healthy relationships with people is laid in a child in the first six years of life.

“It's the foundation of everything,” he says. - By the fifth year of life, if everything goes smoothly and safely, begins emotional closeness. The child gives his heart to the one to whom he is attached, and this is incredibly important ... The most important thing is to establish strong and deep emotional connections with those who are raising children. And this should be emphasized in our society. If we did, we would send our children to school later, not earlier.”

Ludmila Petranovskaya, family psychologist, writer, laureate of the Prize of the President of the Russian Federation in the field of education, member of the Association of Family Device Specialists "Family for a Child", in his book "Attachment - a secret support" writes:

“If you treat the kindergarten as a service for parents, and not as an institution designed to educate and shape your children, a lot falls into place. Such a long game room. The store wants you to shop comfortably and happily, but the community wants you to work. Convenient to leave in playful child when choosing furniture? Of course, if it is fun for the child or at least safe, and you need to have free hands and head. Is it convenient to use the kindergarten? Yes, under the same conditions.

There is no other, higher pedagogical meaning in the history of kindergarten. And if you don't need it, or the child really doesn't want it, or it's enough good garden not found - he will not lose anything important for development.

Only a very problematic family, in which parents do not take care of their children at all, can give them less than a standard kindergarten.

If socialization means communication with peers, role-playing games with them, then not in every kindergarten there are many opportunities for this, maybe a playroom in IKEA, a summer house or the nearest square with a constant company of walking mothers with children will give your child no less.

Irina Mlodik, a well-known psychologist and psychotherapist, candidate of psychological sciences, chairman of the Association of Psychologists-Practitioners "Just Together", in her book entitled "A Book for Non-Ideal Parents, or Life on a Free Subject" writes:

"Kindergarten. How much in this sound ... for each something of his own. Many wonderful memories, amazing discoveries, negative feelings, psychological trauma and many other things connected with every child's story heard. For some, the kindergarten was a paradise, where it was exciting, interesting, many friends, toys and adventures. For someone - a series of humiliations, almost concentration camp receptions of educators, illnesses, shame and longing for their mother. For the majority, a kindergarten is a place where they didn’t really want to go, it was not easy, there were various incidents and difficulties, as well as joyful discoveries and quite fun activities. I don't have any sharp negative attitude to kindergarten, nor rosy-positive. I know one thing: after reaching three years (plus or minus six months), a child needs a kindergarten. But you are right: a good kindergarten.

<…>When parents ask me the question “Should I send my child to kindergarten or not?”, I answer: “It's up to you. In addition, everything depends to a large extent on the kindergarten. From how everything is arranged there and what is the attitude towards children. And this, of course, is not about silver toys, your own pool and caviar for dinner, this is about respectful attitude to the child."

Vladimir Levy, candidate medical sciences, Soviet and Russian writer, psychotherapist and psychologist, author of books on various aspects of popular psychology, devoted an entire chapter of his book “The New non-standard child»:

“... But the very first picture is the most terrible of all: they leave me. The brother and sister, taken away into the unknown, are removed ... The back and half-turned face of the departing mother ...

Everything around is alien, unfamiliar, everything turns gray, blackens, the horror of helpless loneliness, the betrayal of being ...

I know now that this experience is not extraordinary, not at all unique. Every kid receives such an injury, for the first time for an indefinite time for him (for a small one and half an hour - almost an eternity) suddenly left in a sharply alien environment - yes, everyone, even warned in advance ...

A blow comparable to a nuclear bombing is delivered against the most ancient psychogenetic program of a child, which with almost one hundred percent probability provides for the possibility of his survival in the first years of life only in the environment of OWN - in parental family or in a flock of relatives of different ages, small enough and constant enough to remember all of them, not yet breaking away from their mother, by sight.

So many thousands and millions of years it was in Nature, so we were made by the history of our species.

For many children - for me too - the insane horror of being left behind becomes the main bookmark, the basis of all subsequent neurotic fears, addictions and depressions, all distrust of life and oneself. The abyss, once opened up, will not close - it will only cover itself with roadside bushes...<…>

It seems to us, adults, that going to kindergarten for three years, well, a year is not long and not scary. Everything is provided, control is complete... It doesn't even seem to us - we know: it's not like that. This is a lie, our self-deception, with which we cover up our guilt before the child ...

The three-year (let's take an average) kindergarten time of a child's life in terms of true, internal duration is no less than a ten-eleven-year school one. And much more significant than, say, the time spent in the army or at the institute. In the first years of life, each piece of time contains so many experiences, so much development and obstacles to it, so much memory and mental wounds, so much defenselessness, so much cruel stupidity of adults! .. "

Does the child need to go to kindergarten?

Seeking the truth about the importance and necessity of a kindergarten is probably pointless. If only because all mothers, fathers, grandmothers who talk about this topic are interested people. Few people can abstract from their childhood memories and from own choice already as parents. The reality is that kindergarten is a simple and convenient opportunity to provide a child with a full range of “services” appropriate for his age. Here and communication with children, and developing activities, and supervised walks, and children's holidays. Yes, and mom unloading (or the opportunity to work). Unfortunately, the conditions of modern big city are such that the kindergarten is presented to parents only possible choice. Although, if desired, if it really exists, organizing home education is quite realistic. And the child will not lose anything overvalued.

Dear Parents! We wish you to make the right choice for your family regarding kindergarten. You, and only you, answer the question: “Does my child need a kindergarten?”. And, of course, you will find arguments in favor of one or another position. The main thing is not to forget about the balance between your desires and the desires of the baby ...