Signs of shy children. Typical mistakes of parents of shy children. Ways to combat childhood shyness

21.04.2019

This manual is intended for teaching staff: preschool educators, teachers - psychologists, speech therapists, students studying in the specialty 050144 "Preschool education" and all those interested contemporary issues and trends preschool education... The manual presents material on the organization of work aimed at overcoming the shyness of six-year-old children through art therapy. The manual also contains a series of sand therapy games, a series of correctional and developmental lessons with the inclusion of plasticineography, finger games, psycho-gymnastic studies, music therapy and isotherapy.

Introduction.
Main part.
Conclusion.
List of sources used.
Applications.

Introduction

The study of the psychological nature of shyness in preschool age and the specifics of its manifestation, the reasons and factors that determine it, acquires everything greater importance v modern world.

Shyness is considered as the cause of many disorders in the psychophysiological sphere, as an integral part of neuroses, depression, stress, asthenic conditions, phobic disorders, etc. Evidence shows an increase in the number of children experiencing strong emotional experiences.

The problem of studying shyness was studied by both domestic and Western scientists: L.N. Galiguzova, L.D. Lebedeva, E.I. Gasparova, Yu.M. Orlova, A.A. Zakharov, J. Kopchak, V. Stern, F. Zimbardo, D.B. Watson, D. Baldwin, C. Gross, C.G. Jung, K. Izard.

Psychologists define shyness as a personality trait characterized by a lack of freedom of communication, the presence of internal constraint in behavior, which does not allow an individual to fully realize his hereditary and personal potential.

The reasons for the manifestation of shyness can be the child's self-doubt, lack of attention from adults, negative events being in unfamiliar situations.

A shy child is characterized by embarrassment, awkwardness, increased heart rate, strong heartbeat, fear, unwillingness to enter into a conversation, difficulty in eye contact, lack of initiative, avoidance of people, low self-esteem, anxiety, lack of communication skills, a feeling of failure, defeat, lack of trust.

Shyness makes it difficult for a child to adapt to society, leads to isolation and loneliness, so it is important to use a variety of ways to correct children's shyness at the earliest stages of preschool childhood in order to prevent the occurrence of negative consequences. In psychology, there are various forms correction of shyness: psychological studies, psycho-gymnastics, relaxation exercises, pantomime games, art therapy, fairy tale therapy. Modern psychologists consider art therapy to be one of the main means of correcting shyness in children.

Art therapy is a method of correction and development through creativity. Psychologists point out that art therapy techniques provide relatively painless access to deep psychological material, stimulate the processing of unconscious experiences, providing additional protection and reducing resistance to external changes.

Art therapy is resourceful, as it is outside of everyday stereotypes, which means it expands life experience, adds confidence in one's abilities. How better baby knows how to express himself, indicate modern psychologists, the more complete his feeling of being a unique person.

Unlike many correctional and developmental areas, art therapy uses the "language" of visual and plastic expression. This is especially true when working with shy children who cannot always express in words their emotional state, difficulty, problem. Being in the creative space, the child gets the opportunity to express himself, as a result of which there are improvements in his emotional and behavioral spheres. Art therapy correction helps the child to reveal his “I”, which also leads to positive results of psychological assistance.

The novelty of the research lies in the development of a system of correctional and developmental classes using art-therapeutic forms and directions, a series of art-therapy games aimed at correcting the shyness of six-year-old children.

The practical significance of the research is the proposed system of work, which can be used in the practice of a preschool teacher. In this study, the following methods were used: testing the forms and directions of art therapy, psychodiagnostics of children of the sixth year of life in order to identify signs of shyness, psychological and pedagogical experiment in order to test the methodology for correcting shyness through correctional and developmental work, psychoeducation for preschool teachers and parents.

Main part

In order to overcome children's shyness in a preschool educational institution, a system of work "Seven-flower" with children of the sixth year of life can be organized. The purpose of the work is to determine the influence of art therapy techniques on overcoming the shyness of six-year-old children; increasing the psychological and pedagogical awareness of teachers and parents on the problem of correcting the shyness of six-year-old children with the help of art therapy.

In order to identify signs of shyness in children, you can use the following psychodiagnostic tools.

1.1 The first technique is the “Ladder” self-assessment technique. The purpose of this technique is: to identify the level of self-esteem of children of the sixth year of life.

Stimulus material for the "Ladder" test: drawing of a ladder consisting of seven steps. In the middle you need to place the child's figurine. For convenience, a figurine of a boy or girl can be cut out of paper, which can be placed on the ladder, depending on the gender of the child being tested.

Testing: the child is given a piece of paper with a ladder drawn on it and the meaning of the steps is explained. It is important to see if the child understood your explanation correctly. Repeat it if necessary. After that, questions are asked, the answers are recorded.

Analysis of the results: first of all, they pay attention to what step the child has put himself on. It is considered normal if children of this age put themselves on the rung of “very good” and even “very good” children.

1.2 The following technique is the drawing test "Non-existent animal". Its purpose: to identify the presence of anxiety, low self-esteem, low level of development of communication skills in children of the sixth year of life.

Instructions for the child: invent and draw a non-existent animal and call it a non-existent name.

It is important to explain to the child that the animal must be invented by him, to captivate him with this task - to create such a creature that no one has invented before. After the drawing is ready, ask the artist about the creature that he got. It is necessary to find out the gender, age, size, purpose of unusual organs, if any; ask if he has relatives and what kind of relationship he has with them, if he has a family, and who he is in the family, what he loves and what he fears, what is his character.

To identify anxiety, it will be necessary to consider the drawings of the children. So signs of anxiety in the drawings of children can be the presence of protective elements (thorns, shell), bold lines with pressure, large eyes in the animal. Signs of low self-esteem will be: the location of the picture in the lower part of the sheet, especially in the lower left corner, the tail drooping down. The lack of communication skills in children can be judged by the toothy animal, open mouth, without drawing lips and tongue, especially if the mouth is shaded.

1.3 The third technique that can be done is the Signs of Anxiety technique.

Purpose: to identify signs of anxiety in children.

Instructions: after observing the child, note the personality manifestations characteristic of him, summarize them.

Observation criteria:

1. Cannot work for a long time without getting tired.

2. It is difficult for him to concentrate on something.

3. Any task causes unnecessary anxiety.

4. During the execution of assignments, he is very tense, constrained.

5. Confused more often than others, etc.

Interpreting Results: Add up the number of pluses to get an overall anxiety score.

High anxiety - 15-20 points.

Average - 7-14 points.

Low - 1-6 points.

1.4 The next step will be to conduct a questionnaire for parents on the question: "If a child has ever experienced a feeling of shyness, how did this manifest itself in his behavior?" The purpose of the survey: to find out whether parents consider their child to be shy, and how the shyness of children manifests itself at home.

This technique includes criteria for shyness, to which parents must respond either positively or negatively. After that, the parents will be asked a series of questions, by answering which they will be able to determine for themselves whether their child is shy or not.

The main areas of work of the experimental group

is an:

1. Working with children. Areas of work:

1.1 A series of sand therapy games.

Purpose: correction and development of children's communication skills, their emotional-volitional sphere, sensing.

1.2 A series of correctional - developmental classes with the inclusion of finger games and exercises, isotherapy and psycho-gymnastic studies.

Purpose: to form the ability of children to show various emotional states; develop a psychomotor component; develop creative skills in juxtaposing various emotions that express the state of human animals; foster a sense of mutual assistance.

1.3 A series of correctional and developmental classes with the inclusion of plasticineography.

Purpose: to teach children to plan and complete their work to the end, to work in co-creation, to draw in an unconventional technique with plasticine; develop the ability to plot and composition, independence, self-confidence, individuality; educate artistic taste, moral qualities, kindness.

1.4 A series of art therapy exercises with the inclusion of music therapy and isotherapy.

Purpose: removal of emotional stress, development of imagination, communication skills; stimulation of physical activity, development of imagination, joint activities of children.

2. Work with parents in order to increase the level of psychological awareness on the problem of correcting the shyness of six-year-old children using art therapy methods.

Appendix 2.2 Series of folders - sliders for parents

1. Folder-slide "Shy child"

2. Folder-movable "Using elements of art therapy in interaction with a child"

3. Folder-movable for parents "Art therapy for your child"

4. Folder-movable "Application of art therapy methods with children up to school age»

Appendix 2.3 Series of screens for parents

1. Screen for parents "Why do parents need art therapy?"

2. Screen for parents "How to help a shy child?"

3. Screen for parents "The influence of art therapy on the development of children in the sixth year of life"

Appendix 2.4 Workshop for parents on the topic: “Shy child. How to overcome childhood shyness? "

Appendix 2.5 Parent Consultation Series

1. Consultation for parents "Methodology for conducting isotherapy with children."

2. Consultation for parents "Art therapy and preschoolers".

3. Consultation for parents "How shyness manifests itself in children of the sixth year of life."

4. Consultation for parents "Ways to solve the problem of shyness in a child."

3. Working with preschool educational institutions, in order to increase the level of psychological awareness on the problem of correction of shyness in children of the sixth year of life using art therapy methods.

Appendix 3.1 Series of electronic consultations for preschool educators

1. Electronic consultation for teachers of preschool educational institution "Development of interpersonal relations of older children preschool age methods of music therapy and mandalotherapy "

2. Electronic consultation for teachers of the preschool educational institution "Miracles of art therapy"

3. Electronic consultation for teachers of the preschool educational institution "Preservation psychological health children by means of art therapy "

4. Electronic consultation for preschool educational institutions "What is art therapy?"

5. Electronic consultation for teachers of the preschool educational institution "Shy and anxious child»

Appendix 3.2 Series of consultations for preschool educators

1. "Conditions for the selection of techniques and techniques for creating images"

2. "Requirements for the organization of sand therapy"

3. "Stages of making a light sand table"

4. "Plasticine - a technique of drawing with plasticine"

5. "Sand therapy in kindergarten"

6. "Behavior of a teacher with shy children"

Appendix 3.3 Round table for preschool educational institutions on the topic: "The use of art therapy to create psychological comfort for participants in the educational process"

Appendix 3.4 Master class for preschool teachers on the topic: "Art therapy in working with preschoolers"

Appendix 3.5 Directory of sites for the study of child shyness in psychology

Appendix 3.6 Electronic catalog of special literature on working with shy children

To establish contact with children, special work will be organized, including the following techniques:

1. Communication games ("Catch the eye", "Animal piano", "Needle - thread");

2. Game problem situations ("Why so?", "Family trip", "Yes and no", "The recipe for a friend");

3. Relaxation exercises ("Rainbow", "Multi-colored mood", "Joyful song", "In the edge of a good mood").

Conclusion

The study of psychological and pedagogical literature from the perspective of this study allows us to draw the following conclusion: the problem of shyness is widely considered in the works of both domestic and Western psychologists: D. Baldwin, F. Zimbardo, K. Izard, D.B. Watson, W. Stern, N. Webster, E.I. Gasparova, A.A. Zakharova, J. Korchak, Yu.M. Orlova, T.O. Smolevoy and others.

Shyness in modern studies is interpreted as a personality trait characterized by a lack of freedom of communication, the presence of internal constraint of command, which does not allow an individual to fully realize his hereditary and personal potential.

Modern psychologists characterize a shy preschooler as cautious in their actions, painfully timid, distrustful.

In this study, shyness is understood as a personality trait that is formed under certain conditions of upbringing and is characterized by a lack of freedom of communication, difficulties in speech, unreasonable silence, constraint, manifested in embarrassment. Shyness is a state of shyness in the presence of other people.

Psychologists say that the causes of shyness in preschool childhood can be both congenital-genetic and acquired. The main acquired causes of shyness include: previous negative events, lack of communication skills, social anxiety, unfamiliar surroundings, fear, being in the spotlight, etc.

Thus, shyness is a result of upbringing, arising and consolidating at a certain point in the interaction of children with other people.

Shyness can manifest itself both in the form of physiological manifestations, and in internal conflicts, violations of thought processes. So the signs of shyness in preschoolers include: embarrassment, awkwardness, anxiety, increased heart rate, strong heartbeat, fear, unwillingness to engage in conversation, difficulty in eye contact, lack of initiative, avoidance of people, etc.

Psychologists note that shy children have low self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of communication skills. One of the main tasks of working with such children is correction and development through art therapy.

Thus, the problem of correcting shyness through art therapy is contained in the works of domestic and foreign psychologists: K.G. Jung, G.L. Landreth, I.V. Dubrovina, T. D. Martsinkovskaya, V. Oklepder,

R.S. Nemova, A.V. Averina, A.A. Osipova, Yu.M. Orlov and others. Art therapy is a method of correction and development associated with artistic creation.

Psychological studies have shown that by contacting art in its various manifestations, a child gets rid of anxiety, acquires communication skills, increases his self-esteem and reveals his inner world.

Modern psychotherapists distinguish the following forms of art therapy: spontaneous drawing, associative drawing, drawing feelings, drawing music. Art therapy areas are also distinguished: plasticineography, sand therapy, music therapy.

The organization of the experimental study included carrying out a psychodiagnostic examination of preschoolers using the techniques: "Ladder", "Signs anxious child"," Non-existent animal ". The results of the study show that shyness, which was determined by three criteria: the level of anxiety, self-esteem and the level of development of communication skills, was characterized by the parents' opinion of the child “Mom said so”.

The reasons for the shyness of the child can also be considered the authority of the parents, the inattention of the parents to the disturbing problems of the child, ignorance of their foundations of pedagogy. Observation of a group of subjects showed that shyness manifests itself in stressful situations - when answering a question from adults, when participating in a game in the main role, etc.

Thus, shyness is a psychological condition that worries many preschoolers. Such children are characterized by low self-esteem, high level anxiety, lack of communication skills.

List of sources used

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Burno M.E. Therapy by creative self-expression / M.E. Burno - M .: Medicine, 2010 .-- 196s.
I. V. Vachkov Fairytale therapy: the development of self-awareness through a psychological tale / I.V. Vachkov. - M .: Os-89, 2009 .-- 416s.
Veraksa N.E. Foreign psychologists on the development of a preschooler child: a guide for teachers preschool institutions/NOT. Veraksa, A.N. Veraxa. - M .: Mosaika-Sintez, 2006 .-- 114s.
Vygotsky L.S. Psychology of art / L.S. Vygotsky, V.I. Garbuzov; Ed. A.N. Leontyev. - M .: Art, 1968. - 675s.
Gasparova E.I. Development of social confidence in preschoolers / E.I. Gasparova, Yu.M. Orlov, N. Naritsyn; Ed. V.A. Handless. - 3rd them., Stereotype. - M .: Academy 2010 .-- 267s.
Grabenko T.M. Miracles in the sand. Sand play therapy/ T.M. Grabenko, T. D. Zinkevich-Evstigneeva. - SPb .: Institute of Special Pedagogy and Psychology, 2010. - 430p.
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The full version of work with applications is possible.

Introduction

shyness anxiety educator preschool

Relevance.In the context of the development of human emotions and feelings, such a developmental feature as shyness is considered. Helping a child overcome shyness is more difficult than preventing it from developing - this is an important and shared task for both educators and parents. With age, a shy child already develops a certain style of behavior, he begins to realize his "lack". Practice shows that adults do not always use an individual approach when working with shy preschool children, they do not know the specifics of pedagogical interaction with this category of children. Therefore, it is so important to identify the features of pedagogical interaction with shy children, aimed at preventing and overcoming shyness in preschool children. This determined the problem of our research.

A child's anxiety largely depends on the level of anxiety of the adults around him. High anxiety of the teacher or parent is transmitted to the child. In families with friendly relationships, children are less anxious than in families where conflicts often arise. An interesting fact is that after the parents divorced, when, it would seem, scandals in the family ended, the child's anxiety level does not decrease, but, as a rule, increases sharply.

Purpose of the study: to reveal the features of methods and means of pedagogical influence aimed at overcoming shyness in older preschool children.

Object of study: shyness as a personality trait.

Subject of study: features of the teacher's work with shy children of older preschool age.

The purpose, object and subject of research determined the need for setting and solving tasks:

Spend theoretical analysis psychological and pedagogical literature on the problem under study;

explore the features of pedagogical work with shy preschool children;

Hypothesis:it is assumed that competent work of the educator will help to overcome anxiety and shyness in children.

Research methods: study and analysis of psychological and pedagogical, methodological literature and good practice on anxiety and shyness in children.

Theoretical basiswere the works of the following Gurevich Yu., Galiguzov L.N., Gasparov E., Karpenko V. and others.

1. Theoretical basis shyness and anxiety in preschool children

.1 Shyness in Preschool Children

Shyness in preschool children is such an internal position of a child if he pays too much attention to the opinions of other people. The child becomes overly sensitive to being judged by people around him. Hence the desire to insulate oneself from people and situations that potentially threaten criticism about his appearance or behavior. As a result, the child tries to stay in the background, to avoid relationships that can draw undue attention to his personality.

Embarrassment can be regarded as voluntary imprisonment of oneself. It is like a prison, when prisoners are deprived of the right to freedom of speech, freedom of communication, etc. Most people feel shy in one way or another. It is a certain natural protective device that allows you to assess the possible consequences of an act before it is committed. Usually, shyness in children goes along with low self-esteem. Even apart from the fact that shy children are able to appreciate a number of some of their qualities or abilities, they are generally extremely self-critical. One of the reasons for low self-esteem is too high demands on yourself. They all the time fall a little short of the level that they demand of themselves.

An ideal parent-child relationship should develop in preschool children individuality, strong confidence in self-worth... When love is not given free of charge, if it is offered in exchange for something, for example, for "correct" behavior, then the child will suppress his own "I" and self-esteem with each of his actions. The premise of such a relationship with a child is obvious: you are good only to the extent that your achievements are significant, and you will never jump above your head. This is how feelings of love, approval, and acceptance are made into consumer goods that can be bargained for in exchange for "good behavior." And the worst thing is that with the slightest offense, you can lose them. And an insecure, shy person perceives this order of things as absolutely normal: he supposedly does not deserve better. Whereas a person who is given unconditional love, even after several failures, does not lose faith in his primary value.

Some teachers believe that shyness is genetically determined. Already in the first weeks of life, children are emotionally different from each other: some cry more, are more prone to mood swings. In addition to all this, children initially tend to differ in temperament and the need for contacts. Later, these traits can germinate and develop into stable patterns of behavior. Children with unusually sensitive nervous systems take everything to heart. Accordingly, extremely careful approach to everything and a constant willingness to retreat.

The acquisition of social experience allows you to fully form a number of genetically determined patterns of behavior. Children who love to smile are more likely to smile back. They are more often carried on hands than with sullen or calm children. There are many underlying reasons for the development of shyness, stemming from childhood emotions, as well as how these emotions are perceived by a particular person. If parents do not know how to teach children to be sociable by their example, children are likely to grow up shy.

Such a system of values suppresses in a person the inclinations of enterprise and initiative. In Israel, for example, children are brought up in an absolutely opposite way. Any achievement is attributed solely to the child's ability, while failure is blamed on wrong parenting, ineffective education, injustice, etc. In other words, actions are encouraged and stimulated, and failures are not severely punished. Israeli children do not lose anything as a result of defeat, but as a result of success they receive a reward. So why not give it a try? Japanese children, on the other hand, won’t gain anything, but they can lose a lot. Therefore, they always hesitate and try not to take risks.

There are many reasons for the emergence of shyness and shyness, as there are many specific circumstances that cause shyness as a reaction to a specific situation. Below is a list of the categories of people and situations that may cause this reaction.

People who cause shyness:

Members of the opposite sex

Relatives and foreigners

Older people

Parents

Siblings (most rare)

Most often, shyness in preschool children is caused by people who differ from them in certain parameters, have power, and control the flow of necessary resources. Or are they people so close that they can afford to criticize them.

Circumstances that cause shyness:

Being in the spotlight large group people, for example, performing at a matinee;

Lower status than others;

Situations that require self-confidence;

New circumstances;

Situations requiring assessment;

Weakness, need for help;

One-on-one stay with a person of the opposite sex

Being the focus of a small group of people.

Shy children are always very anxious when they are forced to perform some actions in unfamiliar circumstances, where criticisms of other people take place, which are unnecessarily demanding and influential.

How can I help a shy child?

Psychologists talk about three main "parenting" behaviors. They are described as follows:

an example of a liberal model - a child gets as much freedom as he is able to accept;

Research results indicate that an authority model is desirable and most effective. It promotes self-confidence in preschool children, which means it is most effective in curing childhood shyness. Despite the general opinion, applying very clear liberalism in parenting does not develop self-confidence. Liberal parents often show inattention to the child, they do not consider it necessary to develop the basic lines of his behavior. They often “sin” with inconsistency in upbringing, because of this, children may feel that their parents are not interested in their feelings and problems, that they are not needed by their parents at all.

The other extreme concerns the authoritarian parenting model. Parents who choose this model also pay little attention to their children when they mean unconditional love and care. They are limited only to the satisfaction of all physical needs. They are primarily concerned with aspects of parenting such as leadership and discipline, but they do not care at all about the emotional health of preschool children. Authoritarian parents care about the impression their children make on the people around them. For them, this is even more important than intra-family relations. They are absolutely sure that they form a "real person" out of a child, not realizing that they are coming to the opposite.

The peculiarity of the authoritative model of education is that with it, on the one hand, there is a presence parental control, but on the other hand, the child is developing as a person. These parents have a clear idea of what the child is capable of, they often have confidential conversations with him and listen to what the child answers. Such parents are not afraid to change the rules of the game when new circumstance forces them to act differently.

Before proceeding to the description of how to fight shyness in preschool children and raise an open, emotionally receptive and at the same time not shy child, I would like to note one nuance. Educators are forced, first of all, to change themselves. They may be required to completely change the atmosphere in the kindergarten so that it does not contribute to the development of shyness in the child.

Just as the link between shyness and insecurity is clear, so too is the dependence on the touch of a sense of security and calmness to be noticed.

You need to take seriously the words of psychologists who believe that if you are not happy with the child's behavior, you must make sure that he understands that it is not the child himself that is outraged by you, but his actions. In other words, it is important for a child to know that he is loved, and this love does not depend on anything, it is constant and unchanging, that is, unconditional.

Excessive discipline can affect the development of shyness in preschool children through the following reasons:

Discipline is often based on the child’s initial wrongness, on the assertion that he must change. This leads to a decrease in self-esteem.

The frightening authority of the parents can develop into a serious complex, in which the child will feel fear of any authority figures. Embarrassment in this case is not a manifestation of reverence, it is a manifestation of fear of power.

The basic concept of discipline is control. Overly controlled children grow up fearing that they will lose control or that they will be forced to control a difficult situation.

The object of discipline is the person, not the circumstances. And very often the reason for the behavior is in the environment or behavior of other people. Before you punish a child, be sure to ask why he broke one of your rules.

The discipline should not be public. Respect your child's dignity. Public reprimands and the shame a child experiences while doing so can increase their shyness. Try not only to notice the child's wrongdoing, but also to celebrate the good behavior.

Only by example can you teach children to be sympathetic. Let them look for the cause of failure primarily in the circumstances, and not in the people around them. Talk about why the person is doing certain reckless things, or what might have influenced the change in their behavior.

Whenever you feel like saying something unpleasant to your child, remember the strong connection between a child's self-esteem and shyness. It can help you overcome your impulse. It is important for a child to evaluate himself positively.

Teach your child to trust people more. For this, it is important for parents to have the closest possible relationship with the child. Let him know that you love and appreciate him for who he is. And that there are other people who, too, can value and respect him if he gets close to them. Of course, there will always be those who will cheat or betray, but, firstly, there are fewer of them, and secondly, sooner or later they will be brought to clean water.

Try to reduce the time you spend away from your child and always warn him if you can give him attention. Even a minute of warm and respectful conversation with a child is much more important than a whole day when you were sitting nearby, but were busy with your own business.

.2 Anxiety in Preschool Children

The word "disturbing" is noted in many dictionaries. There are many versions explaining the origin of this term. The author of one of them believes that the word "alarm" means a thrice repeated signal of danger from the enemy.

The psychological dictionary gives the following definition of anxiety: it is “an individual psychological feature, which consists in an increased tendency to experience anxiety in a variety of life situations, including those that do not predispose to this. "

Anxiety is not associated with any particular situation and appears almost always. This state accompanies a person in any kind of activity. When a person is afraid of something specific, we are talking about the manifestation of fear. For example, fear of the dark, fear of heights, fear of confined space.

Until now, a definite point of view on the causes of anxiety has not yet been developed. But most scientists believe that in preschool and primary school age, one of the main reasons lies in the violation of parent-child relationships.

Anxiety develops due to the presence of an internal conflict in the child, which can be caused by:

Conflicting requirements from parents or parents and school (kindergarten). For example, parents do not let their children go to school because they feel unwell, and the teacher puts a “bad mark” in the journal and scolds him for skipping a lesson in the presence of other children.

Inadequate requirements (most often, overstated). For example, parents repeatedly repeat to a child that he must certainly be an excellent student, they cannot and do not want to come to terms with the fact that a son or daughter receives not only "fives" at school and is not best student class.

Negative demands that humiliate the child put him in a dependent position. For example, a caregiver or teacher tells a child: "If you tell who misbehaved in my absence, I will not tell my mother that you had a fight." Experts believe that in preschool and primary school age, boys are more anxious, and after 12 years - girls. At the same time, girls are more worried about relationships with other people, and boys are more worried about violence and punishment. Having committed any "unseemly" act, girls worry that their mother or teacher will think badly of them, and their girlfriends will refuse to play with them. In the same situation, boys are more likely to fear being punished by adults or beaten by their peers.

The anxiety of children increases if parents are not satisfied with their work, living conditions, financial situation... Perhaps that is why in our time the number of anxious children is steadily growing. The authoritarian style of parenting in the family also does not contribute to the inner peace of the child.

It is believed that learning anxiety begins to form already in preschool age. This can be facilitated by both the teacher's work style and the overestimated requirements for the child, constant comparisons of him with other children. In some families, throughout the year prior to entering school, in the presence of the child, there is talk about choosing a “worthy” school, a “promising” teacher. Parental concerns are passed on to children. In addition, parents hire numerous teachers for their child and spend hours on assignments. A child's body, which is fragile and not yet ready for such intensive training, sometimes does not stand up, the baby begins to get sick, the desire to learn disappears, and anxiety about the upcoming education is rapidly increasing.

Anxiety can be associated with neurosis or other mental disorders. In these cases, the help of medical specialists is needed.

Into the group kindergarten a child enters. He peers intently at everything that is around, timidly, almost silently, greets and awkwardly sits on the edge of the nearest chair. He seems to be expecting some kind of trouble.

This is a disturbing child. There are many such children in kindergarten and school, and it is not easier to work with them, and even more difficult than with other categories of "problem" children, because they are both hyperactive and aggressive children always in sight, "as if on a palm", and anxious try to keep their problems to themselves. They are distinguished by excessive anxiety, and sometimes they are afraid not of the event itself, but of its premonitions. They often expect the worst. Children feel helpless, afraid to play new games, start new activities. They have high demands on themselves, they are very self-critical. The level of their self-esteem is low, such children really think that they are worse than others in everything, that they are the most ugly, stupid, awkward. They are looking for encouragement, approval of adults in all matters.

Anxious children are also characterized by somatic problems: abdominal pain, dizziness, headaches, cramps in the throat, shortness of breath, etc. During the manifestation of anxiety, they often feel dry mouth, lump in the throat, weakness in the legs, palpitations.

Emotions and feelings are a reflection of reality in the form of experiences. Various forms of experiencing feelings (emotions, affects, moods, stresses, passions, etc.) together form the emotional sphere of a person. There are such types of feelings as moral, intellectual and aesthetic. Emotions, fundamental and derivative, are highlighted. The fundamental ones include: interest-excitement, joy, surprise, grief-suffering, anger, disgust, contempt, fear, shame, guilt.

The rest are derivatives. From the combination of fundamental emotions arises such a complex emotional state as anxiety, which can combine fear, anger, guilt, and interest-excitement. "Anxiety is an individual's tendency to experience anxiety, characterized by a low threshold for the onset of anxiety reactions: one of the main parameters of individual differences." A certain level of anxiety is a natural and obligatory feature of an individual's vigorous activity.

Each person has their own optimal or desired level of anxiety - this is the so-called useful anxiety. A person's assessment of his condition in this regard is for him an essential component of self-control and self-education. However, an increased level of anxiety is a subjective manifestation of an individual's dysfunction. Manifestations of anxiety in different situations are not the same. In some cases, people tend to behave anxiously always and everywhere, in others they reveal their anxiety only from time to time, depending on the prevailing circumstances. Situationally stable manifestations of anxiety are usually called personal and associated with the presence of a person's corresponding personality trait (the so-called "personal anxiety"). This is a stable individual characteristic reflecting the subject's predisposition to anxiety and suggesting that he has a tendency to perceive a fairly wide "fan" of situations as threatening, responding to each of them with a certain reaction. As a predisposition, personal anxiety is activated when certain stimuli are perceived by a person as dangerous, associated with specific situations of threats to his prestige, self-esteem, and self-esteem. Situationally changeable manifestations of anxiety are called situational, and a personality trait showing this kind of anxiety is referred to as "situational anxiety." This state is characterized by subjectively experienced emotions: tension, anxiety, concern, nervousness. This state occurs as emotional reaction to a stressful situation and can be different in intensity and dynamic in time.

Individuals classified as highly anxious tend to perceive a threat to their self-esteem and life in a wide range of situations and react very tensely, with a pronounced state of anxiety. The behavior of anxious people in activities aimed at achieving success has the following features:

Highly anxious individuals are emotionally more sensitive than low-anxious individuals to respond to reports of failure.

Highly anxious people work worse than low-anxious people in stressful situations or in conditions of a lack of time allotted for solving a problem.

Fear of failure characteristic highly anxious people. This fear dominates their desire to achieve success.

The motivation to achieve success prevails among low-anxious people. It usually outweighs the fear. possible failure.

For highly anxious people, the message of success is more stimulating than the message of failure.

Low-anxious people are more stimulated by the message of failure.

Personal anxiety predisposes the individual to the perception and assessment of many, objectively safe situations, such as those that pose a threat.

A person's activity in a particular situation depends not only on the situation itself, on the presence or absence of personal anxiety in an individual, but also on the situational anxiety that a given person has in a given situation under the influence of prevailing circumstances. The impact of the current situation, a person's own needs, thoughts and feelings, the characteristics of his anxiety as a personal anxiety determine his cognitive assessment of the situation that has arisen. This assessment, in turn, evokes certain emotions (activation of the autonomic nervous system and an increase in the state of situational anxiety along with the expectations of possible failure). Information about all this is transmitted through neural feedback mechanisms to the cortex of the human brain, affecting his thoughts, needs and feelings. The same cognitive assessment of the situation simultaneously and automatically triggers the body's response to threatening stimuli, which leads to the emergence of countermeasures and corresponding responses aimed at reducing the emerging situational anxiety. The result of all this directly affects the activities performed. This activity is directly dependent on the state of anxiety, which could not be overcome with the help of the responses and countermeasures taken, as well as an adequate cognitive assessment of the situation.

Thus, a person's activity in a situation that generates anxiety directly depends on the strength of situational anxiety, the effectiveness of countermeasures taken to reduce it, and the accuracy of the cognitive assessment of the situation.

By the form of anxiety, we mean a special combination of the nature of experience, awareness, verbal and non-verbal expression in the characteristics of behavior, communication and activity. The form of anxiety is manifested in spontaneously folding ways of overcoming and compensating it, as well as in the attitude of a child or adolescent to this experience.

It is known that there are 2 categories of anxiety:

Open - consciously experienced and manifested in behavior and activity in the form of anxiety;

Latent - to varying degrees unconscious, manifested either by excessive calmness, insensitivity to real trouble and even denial of it, or indirectly through specific ways of behavior.

Acute, unregulated or poorly regulated anxiety - strong, conscious, externally manifested through the symptoms of anxiety, the individual cannot cope with it on his own.

Regulated and compensated anxiety, in which children independently develop sufficiently effective ways to cope with their existing anxiety. According to the characteristics of the methods used for these purposes, two subforms were distinguished within this form: a) reducing the level of anxiety and b) using it to stimulate one's own activity, increase activity. This form of anxiety occurs mainly in primary school and early childhood. adolescence, i.e. in periods characterized as stable.

An important characteristic of both forms is that children perceive anxiety as an unpleasant, difficult experience that they would like to get rid of.

Cultivated anxiety - in this case, in contrast to those stated above, anxiety is recognized and experienced as a valuable quality for a person that allows him to achieve what he wants. Cultivated anxiety appears in several versions. First, it can be recognized by the individual as the main regulator of his activity, ensuring his organization and responsibility. In this it coincides with form 2.b, the differences concern, as noted, only the assessment of this experience. Secondly, it can act as a kind of worldview and value setting. Third, it often manifests itself in the search for a certain “conditional benefit from the presence of anxiety and is expressed through an increase in symptoms. In some cases, one subject had two or even all three options at the same time.

As a kind of cultivated anxiety, the form that we conditionally called "magical" can be considered. In this case, a child, a teenager, as it were, "conjures evil forces" with the help of constant replaying in his mind of the most disturbing events, constant conversations about them, not freeing himself, however, from fear of them, and even more strengthening it according to the mechanism of the "vicious psychological circle ".

Speaking about the forms of anxiety, one cannot but touch upon the problem of the so-called "masked" anxiety. "Masks" of anxiety are such forms of behavior that have the form of pronounced manifestations personality traits generated by anxiety, allow a person, at the same time, to experience it in a softened form and not to manifest it outside. Aggressiveness, dependence, apathy, excessive daydreaming, etc. are most often described as such "masks". Aggressive-anxious and dependent-anxious types are distinguished (with varying degrees of awareness of anxiety). The aggressive-anxious type is most often found in preschool and adolescence and at open and at hidden forms anxiety as a direct expression aggressive forms behavior. Anxiety-dependent type most often occurs in open forms of anxiety, especially in acute, unregulated and cultivated forms.

Emotions play important role in the life of children: help to perceive and react to reality. By manifesting in behavior, they inform the adult that the child likes, makes him angry, or upsets him. This is especially true in infancy, when verbal communication is not available. As a child grows, his emotional world becomes richer and more diverse. From the basic ones (fear, joy, etc.) he goes on to a more complex range of feelings: he is happy and angry, delighted and surprised, jealous and sad. Is changing and outward manifestation emotions. This is no longer a baby who cries from fear and hunger. At preschool age, the child learns the language of feelings - the forms of expressing the subtlest shades of experiences accepted in society with the help of glances, smiles, gestures, postures, movements, voice intonations, etc. On the other hand, the child masters the ability to restrain violent and harsh expressions of feelings. A five-year-old child, unlike a two-year-old, may no longer show fear or tears. He learns not only to largely control the expression of his feelings, to clothe them in a culturally accepted form, but also to use them consciously, informing others about his experiences, influencing them. But preschoolers are still spontaneous and impulsive. The emotions they experience are easily read on the face, in posture, gesture, in all behavior.

For practical psychologist the behavior of the child, the expression of feelings by him is an important indicator in understanding the inner world of a little person, testifying to his mental state, well-being, and possible development prospects. Information about the degree of the child's emotional well-being is given to the psychologist by the emotional background. The emotional background can be positive or negative. The negative background of the child is characterized by depression, bad mood, confusion. The child hardly smiles or does it ingratiatingly, the head and shoulders are lowered, the expression on his face is sad or indifferent. In such cases, problems arise in communication and establishing contact. The child often cries, is easily offended, sometimes for no apparent reason. He spends a lot of time alone, is not interested in anything. On examination, such a child is depressed, not proactive, and has difficulty making contact.

One of the reasons for such an emotional state of the child may be the manifestation of an increased level of anxiety. Anxiety in psychology is understood as a person's tendency to experience anxiety, i.e. an emotional state that arises in situations of uncertain danger and manifests itself in anticipation of an unfavorable development of events. Anxious people live with constant, causeless fear. They often ask themselves the question: "What if something happens?" Increased anxiety can disorganize any activity (especially significant), which, in turn, leads to low self-esteem, self-doubt (“I couldn't do anything!”).

Thus, this emotional state can act as one of the mechanisms for the development of neurosis, since it contributes to the deepening of personal contradictions (for example, between a high level of claims and low self-esteem). Everything that is characteristic of anxious adults can be attributed to anxious children. Usually these are very insecure children with unstable self-esteem. Their constant fear of the unknown leads to the fact that they rarely take the initiative. Being obedient, they prefer not to attract the attention of others, behave approximately both at home and in kindergarten, try to accurately fulfill the requirements of parents and educators - do not violate discipline, clean up toys. Such children are called modest, shy. However, their exemplaryness, accuracy, discipline are defensive in nature - the child does everything to avoid failure.

Excessive strictness of parents also contributes to the emergence of fears. However, this only happens in relation to parents of the same sex as the child, i.e., the more the mother of the daughter or the father prohibits the son, the more more likely the appearance of their fears. Often, without hesitation, parents instill fear in their children with their never realizable threats like: “Your uncle will take you into a sack,” “I'll leave you,” etc.

In addition to these factors, fears also arise as a result of the fixation in the emotional memory of strong fears when meeting with anything that personifies danger or poses an immediate threat to life, including an attack, an accident, an operation or serious illness... If the child's anxiety increases, fears appear - an indispensable companion of anxiety, then neurotic traits may develop. Self-doubt as a character trait is a self-destructive attitude towards oneself, towards one's own strengths and capabilities. Anxiety as a character trait is a pessimistic attitude towards life when it is presented as full of threats and dangers. Uncertainty breeds anxiety and indecision, and these, in turn, shape the corresponding character.

Uncertain, anxious person always suspicious, and suspiciousness breeds distrust of others. Such a child is afraid of others, waiting for attacks, ridicule, resentment. He does not cope with the task in the game, with the deed. This promotes the formation of reactions psychological protection in the form of aggression directed at others. So, one of the most famous methods that anxious children often choose is based on a simple conclusion: "in order to be afraid of nothing, you need to make sure that they are afraid of me." The mask of aggression carefully hides anxiety not only from others, but also from the child himself. Nevertheless, deep down in their hearts they still have the same anxiety, confusion and uncertainty, the absence of a solid support.

Anxiety as a certain emotional infusion with a predominance of feelings of anxiety and fear of doing something wrong, wrong, not meeting generally accepted requirements and norms develops closer to 7 and especially 8 years with a large number of insoluble and coming from more early age fears.

The main source of anxiety for preschoolers and primary school children is the family. Later, even for adolescents, this role of the family is significantly reduced; on the other hand, the role of the school doubles. It was noticed that the intensity of the experience of anxiety, the level of anxiety in boys and girls are different. In preschool and primary school age, boys are more anxious than girls. This is due to the situations with which they associate their anxiety, how they explain it, what they fear. And the older the children, the more noticeable this difference. Girls are more likely to associate their anxiety with other people. People with whom girls can associate their anxiety are not only friends, family, and teachers. Girls are afraid of the so-called "dangerous people" - drunks, hooligans, etc. Boys, on the other hand, are afraid of physical injury, accidents, and punishment that can be expected from parents or outside the family: teachers, school principals, etc.

Thus, an insecure, prone to doubts and hesitation, a timid, anxious child is indecisive, not self-reliant, often infantile, highly suggestible.

The negative consequences of anxiety are expressed in the fact that, without affecting intellectual development in general, a high degree of anxiety can adversely affect the formation of divergent (i.e., creative, creative) thinking, for which such personality traits as the absence of fear of the new, unknown are natural. ... Nevertheless, in children of senior preschool and primary school age, anxiety is not yet a stable character trait and is relatively reversible when appropriate psychological and pedagogical activities are carried out.

2. Experimental research features of the teacher's work with shy and anxious children

.1 Identifying children with certain manifestations of shyness and anxiety

main feature the caregiver's job is to prevent and correct shyness and anxiety in children.

The work was carried out on the basis of MDOU No. 2 in Bryansk. Number of children: 20 people.

Research object: preschool children.

Research subject: shyness and anxiety in preschool children.

Purpose: to study the characteristics of a teacher's work with shy and anxious children

select diagnostic techniques

process the results

draw conclusions

Shyness is closely related to indicators such as anxiety. To study the peculiarities of the teacher's work with shy and anxious children, the Anxiety Test method was used.

Methodology: Anxiety test developed by American psychologists (R. Tamml, M. Dorkey, V. Amen). The test is aimed at investigating the child's anxiety in relation to a number of typical life situations of communication with other people.

Each drawing is made in two versions: for girls (the picture shows a girl) and for boys (the picture shows a boy). The child's face is not drawn in the drawing, only the outline of the head is given. Each drawing is supplied with two additional drawings of a child's head, in size exactly corresponding to the contour of the face in the drawing. One of the additional drawings depicts a smiling child's face, the other depicts a sad one.

The drawings were presented to the child in a strictly listed order, one after another. After presenting the drawing to the child, the instruction was given with the following content: "What do you think this child will have, sad or funny?"

Each child's protocols were analyzed quantitatively and qualitatively.

Depending on the level of the anxiety index, children were divided into 3 groups:

a) a high level of anxiety (IT is above 50%);

b) average level anxiety (IT from 20 to 50%);

v) low level anxiety (IT from 0 to 20%).

According to the results of the methodology, it turned out that 60% of children have a high level of anxiety, an average level of 30% and a low level of 10% of the subjects (Table 1).

Table 1. Anxiety level

Anxiety level Number of children% high 1260 medium 630 low 210 Total 20 100

Table 2. Qualitative analysis of responses

Drawing Saying Choice Cheerful face Sad face 1. Playing with younger children I'm tired of playing + 2. Child and mother with baby Walking with mom, I like to walk with mom + 3. Object of aggression You want to hit him with a chair. He has a sad face + 4. Dressing He will go for a walk. Need to dress + 5. Playing with older children, because he has children + 6. Putting to sleep alone I always take a toy to sleep + 7. WashingBecause he washes his face + 8. Reprimand Mom wants to leave him + 9. Ignoring Because there is a kid + 10. Aggressiveness Because someone takes the toy +11. Collecting toys Mom forces him, but he does not want + 12. Isolation They don't want to play with him + 13. Child with parents Mom and Dad walk with him + 14. Eating alone, Drinking milk and I love thread milk +

Figs have a particularly high projective value. 4 ("Dressing"), 6 ("Going to sleep alone"), 14 ("Eating alone").

Children who have made negative emotional choices in these situations have high IT; children who made negative emotional choices in the situations depicted in fig. 2 (“Child and mother with a baby”), 7 (“Washing”), 9 (“Ignoring”) and 11 (“Collecting toys”) have average IT.

As a rule, the highest level of anxiety is manifested in situations that simulate child-child relationships ("Playing with younger children", "Object of aggression", "Playing with older children", "Aggressive attack", "Isolation")

The level of anxiety is significantly lower in the drawings simulating the child-adult relationship ("Child and mother with a baby", "Reprimand", "Ignoring", "Child with parents"), and in situations simulating everyday actions ("Dressing", "Laying sleep alone ”,“ Washing ”,“ Collecting toys ”,“ Eating alone ”).

The study found that most of the children have a high level of anxiety. Therefore, caregivers need to take steps to overcome anxiety and shyness.

Working with shy children should be systematic and multi-faceted. Its main purpose is to overcome this quality. The teacher can use both group and individual form work. Basic methods: game therapy, art therapy, fairy tale therapy, psycho-gymnastics, creative games, communication exercises.

Solutions to the problem of shyness:

Help the child expand his circle of acquaintances: more often invite friends to him, visit friends with the child, expand the walking route, teach the child to calmly relate to new places;

You should not constantly worry about the child, strive completely, protect the child from possible dangers, do not strive to do everything for the child themselves, to prevent any difficulties. Give the child a certain measure of freedom and the possibility of open action.

Constantly reinforce the child's confidence in himself, in his own strengths and capabilities. Help the child to find something good in themselves, for which they could respect themselves. Praise your child and teach him to accept praise from others.

Begin to involve the child in various assignments related to society, create situations in which a shy child would have to come into contact with "alien adults."

You do not need to trust someone else's opinion about the child, because someone else's assessment was made in a different place, at a different time and under unknown circumstances. Before judging the behavior of the child, you need to understand the conditions caused by it, the reasons. Listen to the opinion of the child himself, try to understand and accept his point of view.

An unconditional positive attitude is the acceptance of a child with all the advantages and disadvantages, not giving free rein to the feeling of dissatisfaction and the desire to change the child right now.

Create an atmosphere of trust in your home, stimulate your child. For him to tell you about his problems, listen to him, show sympathy.

Necessary:

constantly reinforce the child's self-confidence and self-confidence;

involve the child in the implementation of various tasks related to communication;

expand the circle of acquaintances.

There are many activities and exercises for overcoming shyness in children:

exercises for expressiveness of speech (" Different voices"," Who is more "," Roar, lion, roar ", etc.)

complex games that remove the fear of public speaking ("Fanta", "Zoo", "Sorcerer" etc.).

One of the areas of work can be work with parents. The task of the educator is to explain to the parents the peculiarities of such children, as well as to introduce them to methods of helping shy children at home. The educator, together with the parents, can foster confidence and adequate self-esteem in the child, form a sense of self-worth and develop skills in him. social behavior... The parents of a shy child need patience and restraint in communication, support when trying to communicate with other children.

Thus, in the course of the successful work of the educator with shy children, you can remove the label of shyness attached to him by other people, and reduce the level of anxiety. A clear, gradual, systematic impact on a shy child is necessary, only then can he become open and sociable.

Conclusion

Within the framework of this work, the concepts of shyness and anxiety were characterized from the point of view of pedagogy, on the basis of which the definition of shyness as a character trait, manifested in embarrassment, anxiety, indecision, difficulties in communication caused by thoughts of their inferiority and negative attitude to your interlocutors.

To solve the problem of shyness in children, a generalization of all known methods of eliminating shyness in children of primary school age was made. The role of educators and adults in the upbringing of shy children.

During practical work with children enrolled in MDOU No. 5, the total percentage of shy children according to certain criteria of shyness was revealed by interviewing students.

The study found that 60% of children have a high level of anxiety, an average level of 30% and a low level of 10% of the subjects.

In this course work, recommendations were developed for the teacher and parents on raising shy children.

Do not put labels on the child (do not pay attention to the shyness of the child);

Follow the child, do not force the child to get into uncomfortable situations;

Remain in all cases calm, balanced and calm;

Based on the above material, we can conclude that this course work has proven the relevance of the problem posed, important guidelines educators in working with shy and anxious children.

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Symptoms of shyness in children different ages... The main reasons for the occurrence and modern ways of solving this problem. The role of parents in the development and treatment of the syndrome. Tips for a child to get rid of shyness.

The content of the article:

Shyness in a child is a state of mental health and his behavior among others, the main characteristics of which are timidity, indecision, shyness, fearfulness and stiffness. Most often, it first appears at an early age and gives children such traits as modesty, obedience, restraint. This is how masks are created, behind which the essence, the true character of the child is almost invisible, and also his formation in society as a person is inhibited.

Causes of shyness in children

It is known that the child's psyche is not yet a fully formed system. Such imperfection makes the child vulnerable to even the most seemingly petty situations. As a result, the brain generates the activation of many defensive reactions, including shyness, secrecy and insecurity.

There are several main reasons for shyness in children:

Genetic predisposition... To date, by virtue of many scientific studies, it has been proven that heredity is quite often the main and only triggering factor in the development of such a condition. The accumulation of various mutations over the course of generations endangers every child born in the future. In this case, they speak of almost one hundred percent propensity.
Natural factors... It is worth mentioning here that each person has a specific type of nervous system. It is believed that it is the introverts (secretive and withdrawn) who are most susceptible to the development of such a quality as shyness. People with melancholic and phlegmatic types of temperament also become a huge risk group, but their absence also does not exclude the possibility of getting it. Studies have shown that over-activity in childhood, which is suppressed once, can result in shyness further.
Social environment... This group includes all kinds of connections between the child and the outside world. Of course, the most important thing is family upbringing. The main problems are increased custody or, conversely, remoteness from the mental problems of the child. Parents are unable to provide moral comfort and support, deciding everything for him or not being interested in him at all. In this case, shyness is formed persistent and can accompany the whole life. It happens that the reason is hidden in relation to peers. Excessive aggressiveness or activity of other children can suppress the desire to communicate with them.
Adaptation disorder... Every few years in a child's life, he experiences some kind of adaptive reactions - to crawling, walking, self-care, visiting kindergarten, school and many other institutions. As they arise, positive and negative character traits are formed, which educate in the child the ability to resist external influence... If such the process will take place unsuccessfully, it can lead to the development of insecurity, indecision and shyness.
Somatic pathology... It means the presence of diseases internal organs, the signs of which can distinguish a child among other children. Most often this is the presence of any developmental pathologies, traces of burns, frostbite, wounds that have left marks on the body. Very often this becomes the cause of undue attention or even teasing. Also, this reaction can be traced to children with disabilities. In view of this, in order to limit himself, the baby closes, moves away from others, talks less and prefers to be alone most of the time.
Wrong upbringing. Parental influence first of all forms the child as a separate person. If it turns out to be too much, overprotectiveness leads to complete lack of independence and indecision in the future. Also if maternal care becomes more rigid and exactingness to children exceeds their capabilities, an inferiority complex arises. Such a child withdraws and considers himself not good enough to manifest in society.

The main symptoms of shyness in a child

It is necessary to start with the fact that the shy child is really suffering. After all, this state guides him in all life situations. He cannot feel comfortable anywhere and with anyone. A constant feeling of insecurity and cowardice haunts every day. Unfortunately, many parents, trying to help, only exacerbate the situation. After all, first of all, they decide to remove the child from decision-making and do it on their own. As a result, even more inferiority and insecurity falls on him.

To know how to help your child overcome shyness, you need to learn a few of its signs. Among them:

Note! Very often, the listed signs are not considered alarming and are mistaken for the whims of the child, punishing him for this. As a result of such treatment, the state of the baby is even more oppressed.

How to deal with shyness in a child

To achieve any result, you need to understand that shyness is still not just a character trait, but pathological condition... Only after realizing this, you can start looking for ways to solve this problem. It is worth looking for them immediately, because every day lived with such thinking brings the child to an independent way out of the situation. Often this is leaving home or even attempting suicide. Correcting shyness in children requires an integrated approach involving both themselves and the environment.

Mom and Dad are the first and most important counselors in a child's life. It is from them that he writes off most of the manners of behavior, and they also correct his own. It is very important that parents watch over psycho-emotional state children and helped them adapt to new stages in life. This is especially necessary if their child is experiencing difficulties in communicating and realizing himself as a person.

To know how to overcome your child's shyness, follow these tips:

Do not scold... Shouting will provoke even greater secrecy and shyness. Children will feel guilty for this behavior and will not come to their parents for advice or help in the future. This will only aggravate the situation and narrow the circle of trust to its complete absence. This behavior will force the child to withdraw into himself, and it will be much more difficult to get him out of this state.
Be interested in personal life ... Children in the modern world are small adults. Do not think that there is nothing to talk about with them. These little people contain a huge inner world of worries and worries, which they cannot yet cope with alone. You need to find the right approach to the child, ask what he thinks about, why he performs this or that action, with whom he is friends and what he is sad about. It is very important. If you can become not only a parent to him, but also a friend, you can save him from the problem on your own.
Be able to listen... Children need to be noticed. Due to the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there is often not enough time for them. And while we imitate attentiveness, children show and tell us about all their troubles. But, unfortunately, sooner or later they get tired of doing it. They take offense, withdraw into themselves and no longer make contact. Therefore, every word uttered by children has its own meaning. One must be able not only to listen to them, but also to hear them in order to have time to notice any problems and correct them.
Support... Defeats, like victories, need to be able to accept. Children do not always know how to do it right themselves. Often, after just one failure, they never again dare to try to do something again. Parental duty obliges to explain to the child that he is loved the way he is, and perfection is not required of him. You need to teach him to walk slowly and confidently towards his goal, despite previous defeats.
Become an example... Children are a reflection of their parents. Nobody's traits will be as reflected in them as the traits of mothers in girls and fathers in boys. Being extremely demanding can lead to feelings of shame. The child will be ashamed of his mistakes and worry that he did not live up to expectations. Therefore, parents first of all need to be able to admit their mistakes and show by personal example that this is not scary, but only stimulates further action.
Encourage... In fact, all children deserve the attention of their parents, and these in particular. Among the most good ways there are trips to cafes, an amusement park, performances. Various comedic performances will help the child learn to perceive himself and not pass off the features as oddities. Spending time in a familiar circle has an overall positive effect on children.

Still, it's better to tackle the problem from the inside. Overcoming shyness in children is their own. No matter how hard others try, the most important step they have to do it themselves. After all, until the child himself begins to change his attitude towards reality, all attempts to help from the outside will be in vain.

To make it easier for him to do this, you can offer several of the following tips:

Sure... Even if the fear does not leave, it is always necessary to forbid him to express himself in any way outwardly. To make it easier, you need to straighten your shoulders, raise your chin, take a deep breath. This will help show others that there is no panic and, on the contrary, is a completely self-confident person.
To smile... It's a safe bet to gain the trust of your opponent. There is absolutely no need to feign panicky laughter or a fit of laughter. A slight grin on the face will be enough, which will relax and predispose in the future to the rest of the children.
Look in the eyes... This is the hardest, but the most effective remedy... It is believed that a person who is able to keep his gaze on his interlocutor has an advantage over him. Holding eye contact also helps to maintain a conversation, and the person himself feels more confident and calm.
Actively engage in dialogue... One should not hesitate to ask and willingly answer the questions asked. It is best to start with short verbal skirmishes, and over time, you will be able to easily integrate into any conversation. It is also important to show others that you are interested in what is happening.
Attend different events... Not the easiest task, but it is of great importance. Indeed, in wide circle a shy child will initially only be able to listen and gradually merge into the team. Thus, too much attention will not be drawn to him, and he will be able to independently open up to others. Children's birthdays, holidays are suitable.
Hobby search... Trying to find yourself is very important. To do this, you can sign up for various mugs for creativity, handicraft or with a sports bias. In most cases, a favorite business will soon appear, in which you can prove yourself and get a lot of pleasure from it. One of best options is a theater studio. In such a place you can develop great amount positive qualities, as well as get rid of shyness, indecision and shyness.
Fight fears... To do this, you need to decide to do what scares you most, to dare to take difficult actions and step over your fear. This always presents many difficulties and obstacles. But after the elimination of at least one fear comes a feeling of pride and joy for oneself.
Accept shyness... Self-denial ruins the lives of many people. Problems are easier to deal with if they are not feared and accepted. You need to realize your special trait and not be ashamed of it, but transform, change or get rid of it. Once such a feeling comes, it will bring relief in the emotional sphere.
Get help... Close people exist to help us. Self-reliance is only good where it can eliminate the problem. In this case, taking advice from the outside will be the right decision and will help you quickly adapt to the incomprehensible. Sometimes these are parents, friends, and maybe completely strangers who have found a common language.
Workout... In most cases, this approach helps the fastest. Exercise not only has a general strengthening effect on the body, but also asserts the position of such a child among the rest (especially if it is a boy). New skills and opportunities are emerging that can only be admired.

How to overcome shyness in children - watch the video:

Shyness in a child is a problem that occurs quite often and can lead to serious consequences. Most of the responsibility for children with this trait belongs to parents, who should not only know about it, but also be able to prevent it. The methods of getting rid of this quality are also quite simple and do not require the use of additional methods of treatment, if used on time. Therefore, looking after children is the most important and useful advice in this case.

When your toddler suddenly becomes fearful, shy, indecisive, and insecure, the situation creates anxiety and fear. To solve a problem, you need to know it. psychological aspects... They will allow you to determine optimal conditions correction of shyness in preschool children.

Features of shyness in preschoolers

Shyness is often considered a positive trait for a child. The kid is given the characteristics of restrained, balanced, modest. In fact, such a state of mind does not allow the child to be himself, to demonstrate his real character and characteristics. This negatively affects his condition, each time exacerbating the situation.

The behavior of a shy toddler causes confusion among people. Such a position of others affects the self-perception of the child, who is even more immersed in a state of timidity. It turns out vicious circle... To instill confidence in himself, the baby spends a large number of forces, which also affects his condition.

The nature of the state

Shyness is a mental state that manifests itself in a person in the form of indecision, fearfulness, tension, stiffness and awkwardness. This condition is also often referred to as shyness or shyness.

Psychological research shows that shyness can be of two types:

Discomfort from the presence of other people in the company.
Inconvenience in front of oneself.

You should not take the phenomenon in question as an ordinary state with a slight negative connotation that can be ignored. Research in psychology shows that shyness is a difficult emotional condition that affects the entire human body.

Signs of shyness

It is possible to determine the presence of shyness in a preschool child by identifying characteristic features that accompany him in the process of communication for a long time.

Lack of lightness, spontaneity and relaxedness, as well as unreasonable tension and impulsiveness in communication.
Tightness, stiffness.
Concentration on your personality.
Fear of making a mistake.

Manifestations of timidity in the behavior of preschoolers:

glance sullenly, avoiding eye-to-eye contact;
silence, difficulty speaking;
poor play activity;
detachment from events that actually arouse interest;
quiet voice, whisper;
fidgeting in the chair;
slouching shoulders.

Situations causing shyness:

stay in the center of attention;
making a speech in front of people;
new furnishings;
communication with members of the opposite sex;
performing tasks / playing in a group of children.

Causes of over-modesty in children

There are two key reasons for the development of shyness:

Low self-esteem, self-doubt.
Lack of social skills.

A number of researchers add several more reasons that provoke the development of shyness. These include:

heredity;
internal mental contradictions;
natural reaction to violation of established boundaries of decency;
self-hypnosis;
weakness of the central nervous system;
the rapid development of society, abrupt technological changes in life;
the crisis of intrafamilial relations, defective families, the concentration of parents on the material aspects of upbringing;
features of temperament, nervous system;
excessive parental care, complete lack of participation in the life of the baby.

Age features

Shyness manifests itself from a very early age, when the baby begins to actively interact with the people around him.

The consequence of the development of shyness:

Lack of joy in communication.
Problems finding friends.
Lack of communication support.
Formation of complexes, development of phobias.
Difficulties in the learning process.
The impossibility of full implementation in professional activity and personal life.

A number of researchers highlight in their works the positive effect of moderate shyness on child development. He is more protected from emotional overload, overexcitation of the nervous system as a result of communication. Timid children are protected from communication and contact with strangers, their inner world is richer and better developed.

Shyness in adult life expressed in poise, restraint, respect for the personal space of other people.

Conditions for correcting child shyness

Parents, kindergarten teachers and psychologists should be involved in overcoming shyness in preschoolers.

To effectively correct shyness in children, 2 key conditions must be met:

Gradually expand the circle of communication, forming and consolidating necessary skills... It is important to work competently with the rest of the communication participants.
Via individual approach the baby's self-confidence should be strengthened, taking into account the peculiarities of the child's personality.

Tips to follow to create these conditions:

constantly nourish the baby's self-confidence;
attract to different types activities, gradually complicating the communicative component with other children;
to expand the circle of acquaintances - to be in new places, to visit, to invite acquaintances to his home.

Psychologists recommend correcting the shyness of preschoolers in a group in four stages:

Creation of motivation for communication and mastering communication skills. To solve this problem, therapeutic sessions with the use of games, fairy tales, and relaxing exercises are excellent.
Learning the skill of self-establishing contact. Relaxing exercises, group games, role plays, drawing are used here.
Expanding the boundaries of the world of baby's emotions through a variety of games.
Application of mastered communication skills in a creative environment. The problem is solved by free communication of children, group games of a creative nature with minimal intervention of adults.

External conditions for a four-stage corrective therapy:

frequency of classes: 1-2 times a week;
fixation of all behavioral changes in the preschooler in the classroom;
the duration of one lesson is no more than half an hour;
correction lasts 7 months;
optimal age: 4-6 months;
number of children in the group: 4-6.

The role of play therapy is to overcome uncertainty. Games can help to liberate oneself, overcome psychological barriers in communication with parents and peers, and expand behavioral variations in interaction.

To correct the behavior of very shy children in kindergarten, psychologists recommend the following games:

Who is ahead. In the center of the room, chairs are placed in a circle. The number of chairs is one less than the number of children playing. The essence of the game is simple - children start walking around the chairs. At a signal, they sit on them. When seating, do not push. The kid who did not have time to sit down receives a penalty point. Several rounds are held. The teacher each time explains that the kid who has remained standing does not sit down because of his politeness and good manners. This approach allows you to keep the interest and motivation of children in the game, they lose their insecurity and fear.
Search for similarities. Children alternately throw a ball or toy to each other. A kid throwing a ball to a neighbor must have time to say the similarities connecting him with the receiving neighbor. The goal of the game is to build a team, develop the habit of freely communicating in a group.
Dinosaurs. Children depict dinosaurs. The game removes stiffness and removes fears when addressing the audience.
Roar of lions. The teacher tells the children to imagine themselves as lions. At the signal: "Roar, lion, roar!", The children should growl. The main thing is that the roar is as loud as possible. The game allows you to help very shy children to overcome stiffness, isolation, indecision.

Puppet therapy plays a significant role in the effectiveness of eliminating shyness in preschoolers. At the first stages of correction, the doll replaces the children. With her, the baby plays elements of communication and learns communication skills. A positive, trusting attitude towards toys allows you to overcome the psychological barriers of the baby. Puclotherapy allows you to solve a whole range of problems:

expand the options for the baby's communicative self-expression;
to strengthen the stability and regulation of the mental state;
design a child-parent relationship system.

Psychologists' advice to parents when dealing with very shy children:

Active communication on a parity, equal, respectful basis. Parents praise children for playing and cognitive interest... In the process of communication, inaccuracies or mistakes are "not noticed". Kids perceive themselves to be independent, able to solve their problems through communication.
Formation of warm, trusting and safe relationships between children and parents, by active participation parents in the life of kids (conversations, games, walks).
To improve self-esteem - to build the activities of children with their frequent success in activities.
Do not compare with other children, do not reproach or shame.
In communication, do not undermine the authority of important people (grandparents, educator, other parent).
Show educational consistency in rewards and prohibitions.
The most frequent pastime together.

The modern technological environment, the Internet, has a significant impact on the development of shyness. A person from birth is in contact with numerous gadgets. Communication and interaction with the world are resolved remotely, without direct contact... All this leads to a person's unpreparedness for real interaction with the world. The psyche reacts to this insecurity with shyness.

To overcome the problem, parents should restrict their babies from contact with technological devices and modern means communications. It is necessary to form social skills of interaction and communication. And this happens while playing with parents, reading books with grandmother, playing with peers in the gazebo.

Shyness in preschool children.

Shyness in preschool children - this is such an internal position of the child if he pays too much attention to the opinions of other people. The child becomes overly sensitive to being judged by people around him. Hence the desire to insulate oneself from people and situations that potentially threaten criticism about his appearance or behavior. As a result, the child tries to stay in the background, to avoid relationships that can draw undue attention to his personality.

Ideal relationships between parents and children should develop individuality in preschool children, a firm belief in their own worth. When love is not given free of charge, if it is offered in exchange for something, for example, for "correct" behavior, then the child will suppress his own "I" and self-esteem with each of his actions. The premise of such a relationship with a child is obvious: you are good only to the extent that your achievements are significant, and you will never jump above your head. This is how feelings of love, approval, and acceptance are made into consumer goods that can be bargained for in exchange for "good behavior." And the worst thing is that with the slightest offense, you can lose them. And an insecure, shy person perceives this order of things as absolutely normal: he supposedly does not deserve better. Whereas a person who is given unconditional love, even after several failures, does not lose faith in his primary value.

Sources of shyness in preschool children

Some psychologists believe that shyness is genetically determined. Already in the first weeks of life, children are emotionally different from each other: some cry more, are more prone to mood swings. In addition to all this, children initially tend to differ in temperament and the need for contacts. Later, these traits can germinate and develop into stable patterns of behavior. Children with unusually sensitive nervous systems take everything to heart. Accordingly, an extremely cautious approach to everything is developed and a constant readiness to retreat.

The study found that the country with the highest prevalence of shyness and shyness among preschool children is Japan, where 60% of those surveyed consider themselves shy. It is customary to use the feeling of shame to adjust the behavior of individuals in accordance with generally accepted norms of behavior. The Japanese grow up deeply convinced that they have no right to discredit their family even a little. In Japan, the entire burden of responsibility for failures rests solely on the shoulders of the child himself, but for the successes they thank the parents, teachers, and the coach. Such a system of values suppresses in a person the inclinations of enterprise and initiative. In Israel, for example, children are brought up in an absolutely opposite way. Any achievement is attributed solely to the child's ability, while failure is blamed on wrong parenting, ineffective education, injustice, etc. In other words, actions are encouraged and stimulated, and failures are not severely punished. Israeli children do not lose anything as a result of defeat, but as a result of success they receive a reward. So why not give it a try? Japanese children, on the other hand, won’t gain anything, but they can lose a lot. Therefore, they always hesitate and try not to take risks.

The main reasons for shyness

People who cause shyness:

1. Strangers

3. Members of the opposite sex

5. Relatives and foreigners

6. Older people

7. Friends

8. Parents

9. Brothers and sisters (most rare)

Circumstances that cause shyness:

Being in the spotlight of a large group of people, such as performing at a matinee

Lower status than others

Situations that require self-confidence

New circumstances

Situations to be assessed

Weakness, need for help

One-on-one stay with a person of the opposite sex

Socialite talk

Being the focus of a small group of people

The need for activities in a limited circle of people

How can I help a shy child?

Psychologists talk about three main "parenting" behaviors. They are described as follows:

an example of a liberal model - a child gets as much freedom as he is able to accept;

The peculiarity of the authoritative model of upbringing is that, on the one hand, there is parental control, but on the other, the child develops as a person. These parents have a clear idea of what the child is capable of, they often have confidential conversations with him and listen to what the child answers. Such parents are not afraid to change the rules of the game when a new circumstance forces them to act differently.

Before proceeding to the description of how to fight shyness in preschool children and raise an open, emotionally receptive and at the same time not shy child, I would like to note one nuance. Perhaps you, as parents, will be forced to change yourself in the first place. You may be required to completely change the atmosphere in the home so that it does not contribute to the development of shyness in the child.

Tactile contact

Just as the link between shyness and insecurity is clear, so too is the dependence on the touch of a sense of security and calmness to be noticed. Even if you've never done this before, start pampering your kids now. Kiss them, show your love. Touch them gently, pat them on the head, hug them.

Intimate talk

It has been proven that children begin to speak correctly and expressively earlier if their mother has talked to them a lot since birth. Children, whose mothers simply silently perform their duties, speak poorly, they have a small vocabulary... Even if your baby is too young to understand anything, talk to him. So you put into it a certain communication program. When your child begins to speak on their own, their urge to communicate will depend on how much you listen to them and respond to them.

Let the child freely express their thoughts and feelings. Let him talk freely about what he wants, what he likes and what not. Let your anger vent sometimes. This is extremely important as, in general, shy people do not know how to behave properly during their temper tantrums. Do not let your child accumulate emotions within him, let him learn to assert his rights. Teach him to express his feelings directly, for example: "I am sad" or "I feel good", etc. Encourage your child to talk, but don't force them to participate.

Unconditional love

Discipline with love and understanding

Excessive discipline can affect the development of shyness in preschool children for the following reasons:

Discipline is often based on the child’s initial wrongness, on the assertion that he must change. This leads to a decrease in self-esteem.

The basic concept of discipline is control. Overly controlled children grow up fearing that they will lose control or that they will be forced to control a difficult situation.

Teach your child to be tolerant

Don't brand a child

Confidence

Pay attention to children