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How can a girl raise her self-esteem if she is criticized? Women's self-esteem: how to regain self-esteem? Affirmations, or I am the most charming and attractive

The problem of low self-esteem exists among girls and women at any age.

This is especially true for adolescents and young ladies who have not yet gained self-confidence. Why it happens?

All problems lie in dissatisfaction with your appearance or other qualities of your personality. Low self-esteem interferes with living, working normally, leading to constant depression and stress.

Improving self-esteem is not easy, but vital. This will help you in the future to build your destiny the way you want, to go through life with your head held high and achieve your goals.

There are many tips, including from psychologists, on how to increase a girl's self-esteem and gain self-confidence:

  1. First, learn to love your appearance, respect your actions and decisions taken ... To do this, spend a few minutes every morning in front of the mirror, praise yourself and be glad that such a wonderful person is in the world.
  2. Secondly, your insecurity is associated with the fear that the people around you will not understand or condemn you.... Trust me, no one cares. Neighbors and acquaintances are not at all interested in your mistakes and blunders. They will forget about them in two seconds, rushing about their business.
  3. Third, stop listening to your friends' advice.... Every girlfriend of yours is a potential competitor. They will not advise you anything sensible, on the contrary, out of envy they may come up with some dirty trick.
    Heard that female friendship can not be? Don't trust even the most true friends your secrets.
  4. Fourth, transform yourself outwardly. Stylish hairstyle, Short dress, high heels, bright lipstick and an impeccable manicure - how can such a girl be insecure?
  5. Fifth, dream more... Love happiness, family hearth, a beautiful prosperous life. You can even dream of an incredible event, however, as practice shows, even the most daring fantasies can come true.
  6. Sixth, look for the cause of the problem.... It's not for nothing that you have low self-esteem. If you are unhappy with your appearance, try to come up with new image, eliminate or hide flaws.
  7. Seventh, go in for sports or club dancing... If you're feeling shy, try starting your workout at home. Such entertainments will have a great effect on the condition of your figure, and dancing will develop sexuality, femininity, and teach you to move plasticly and bewitchingly.
  8. Eighth, start a beautiful notebook of personal achievements.... Write down all the compliments here, good words to your address, pleasant surprises, own good deeds... This method works 100%, allowing for short term change a lot.
  9. Ninth tip: don't wear masks... Be yourself, do not exaggerate your importance. Those who need to see you for who you are. Excessive pathos is useless.
    Demonstration of a high position often forces people to put you in your place, others are not very good about you good impression, which is very difficult to ignore. Why make your acquaintances angry?

Tenth rule:
Imagine for one day that you have swapped bodies with another girl - a famous actress, a rich lady, or just a beauty from your environment.
Admiring glances are directed at you, crowds of fans are constantly surrounding you, behave like a star.
Such training will allow you to be liberated, you will certainly like it, and soon young people will be following you.

How to boost self-esteem in a girl 21 and older

If you are an adult lady who has thrown all sorts of teenage nonsense out of your head, and your self-esteem has not increased, try looking for other ways to realize yourself in life.

Take up work or business, build a dizzying career, become a real business lady. You simply won't have time for self-flagellation!

At this age, you have already learned something in life, there have been betrayals and disappointments, and the surrounding reality no longer seems to you a melodrama. Look stylish in any setting, even at home

If you still live with your parents, try to move. So you will learn to make decisions on your own, respect your choice, and understand that you are worth something.

Take care of yourself - beloved!

V free time sit down and think: why don't you love yourself and why? There are reasons hidden in childhood or school years when low self-esteem has formed. Find your inner contradictions, get rid of them, forgive yourself for unpredictable actions.

Take care of yourself beloved! No need to carry heavy bags and stand all day at the stove, your family will be content with scrambled eggs, and you can visit the beauty salon, sleep or take a relaxing bath.

Psychologists can help you get rid of low self-esteem by making an appointment with which you can get rid of your problems. Experts give some advice. By following them, you will increase your self-esteem, learn to value and respect yourself:

  1. Council number 1... Never make excuses. Others don't like your behavior - their problem. Stick to your point of view.
    They find fault with you - smile, you are not interested in someone else's opinion, but you cannot please everyone - you are not a painted samovar. Dissatisfied people will always be - do not pay attention.
  2. Council number 2... Don't be fooled about anything. Just think about where you were hiding behind a lie. Do not do it empty promises: I’ll lose weight by summer, do yoga, save up for a new fur coat.
  3. Council number 3... Complaining about life is not worth it. Still very good! The sun is shining, you are a healthy girl who can get whatever she wants.
    There is no need to tell others about your problems and experiences - no one cares!
  4. Tip # 4... Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not in their favor. This is stupid and ineffectual, because you are a unique person with your own merits and demerits. You don't need to look up to anyone, let alone envy.
  5. Tip # 5... Connect with positive and confident people who will charge you with the right emotions.
    If the people around you are in constant depression, do not strive for anything, just go with the flow - you will also begin to degrade.

Video "How to improve self-esteem"

The video contains the most actionable tips, for those who want to improve their self-esteem:

Books for those who are not sure of themselves

Read the following works at your leisure:

  • Alchemist, Paulo Coelho;
  • School of Bitch, Evgeniya Shatskaya;
  • Seagull named Jonathan Livingston, Richard Bach;
  • Life Secrets Every Woman Should Know, by Barbara de Angelis;
  • Forrest Gump, Winston Groom;
  • Louise Hay's books;
  • The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman.

Briefly about the main thing:

  • Watch your posture... A person who keeps his back straight and his head held high looks quite solid. We pick up the stomach, straighten our shoulders, raise our head!
  • Smile... Your mood can be transmitted to those around you. A perky laugh is one of essential tools non-verbal way of communication. Remember that our self-esteem is influenced by how we look at the moment.
  • Believe in yourself... It is worth noting that although self-confidence does not play a central role in our physical attractiveness, its importance is still great. A person who is satisfied with his appearance usually does not pay attention to sidelong glances and condemning whispers.

Self-esteem films

Many films have been shot for girls and not only by Russian and foreign companies that will help girls gain self-confidence:

  1. Blonde in law... The movie tells about the life of a girl who, with an effort of will, was able to achieve a lot and prove to others that she is worth something.
  2. ugly duck... Once upon a time there was a young lady whom many laughed at because of her unkempt appearance. Gradually, the heroine transforms into beautiful swan and finds his happiness.
  3. A Cinderella Story and Another Cinderella Story... Two films based on your favorite fairy tale will help you to believe in yourself and find your place in life.
  4. The Devil wears Prada... The movie tells the story of the beauty industry with its vices, insane beauty and cruelty.
  5. Leper... Polish film, which shows the love story of a rich nobleman and a simple governess. An unusual story with a tragic end.
  6. shopaholic... The film is about a slightly eccentric girl who was able to become the editor of a prestigious magazine and achieved a lot in her life.
  7. Queen... The tape tells about the events that took place at the end of August 1996. About the role of Elizabeth in the tragedy of the people's princess, about how her persistent character helped her survive the hatred of the people.
  8. Ghost... National cinema, the main character which is a downtrodden boy who did the impossible. Here you can also think about the transience of life.
  9. William and kate... A love story of a simple student and the Crown Prince of Great Britain, based on real events.
  10. Golden ice... Four parts of the picture tell about the difficult fate of the skaters, their willpower, desire for victory and happiness on the personal front.
  11. Cruel games... The main character, Catherine Mertey, knows how to achieve her goal by sacrificing everything. What came out of this can be seen in the film.
  12. Wildness... Four films tell about the cunning plans of the main characters. In achieving desired result all means are good. Is not it?
  • Katya Sambuca - Queen;
  • Dima Bilan - Against the rules;
  • Neplagiat - Give me the sea;
  • Hairpins - Beautiful love;
  • XS - Armed and dangerous;
  • Sheleg - Queen of the ball;
  • Via Gra - Diamonds;
  • Gr. Camon - Brunette;
  • Nastya Zadorozhnaya - Go-go;
  • Maxim - Spring;
  • Hairpins - Bitch;
  • Vintage - Religion;
  • Beyoncé - Run The World;
  • Artery - Fly into the light;
  • James Blunt - You're Beautiful;
  • Quest Pistols - You are so beautiful.

Raising self-esteem for a girl is not easy and requires a lot of effort.... By following the tips given here, you should be able to achieve good results in a short time.

Remember: everything will be fine!

The main thing is, remember, no matter how your life develops now, all the same, soon you will be able to find your happiness, meet your beloved, create strong family and fully realize the most cherished dreams!

You can find Additional information on this topic in the section.

Self-esteem is below the plinth, friends do not appreciate, husband does not love ?! Find out how to get rid of complexes, regain your confidence and self-esteem!

Low self-esteem, without exaggeration, can be called the eighth deadly sin for any person, and especially for a woman. Ladies who constantly doubt themselves, a priori, cannot be happy, and therefore do not fulfill their direct mission - to give the joy of life to everyone who surrounds them.

Where there is no certainty, complexes run the show, instantly putting an end to any undertakings.

As a rule, an insecure woman cannot find a decent job, make good friends, or meet worthy man, and if nothing is changed, she will forever remain on the “bench”.

Why don't we love ourselves

Low self-esteem never appears on its own, the main reasons for its occurrence are:

  • childhood spent with insufficiently loving, often criticizing or constantly conflicting parents;
  • school time full of grievances and blunders, which created in the child false ideas about his capabilities, advantages and disadvantages;
  • regular failures that persecute an adult for a long period of time and undermine his self-confidence.

Signs of low self-esteem

  1. Aggressiveness and persistent desire to dominate... Oddly enough, but the fairer sex, using the slightest opportunity to demonstrate their superiority to others and happily humiliating everyone who allows them, are often the most notorious creatures on earth.
  2. Excessive shyness and constant embarrassment... Unlike their aggressive friends in misfortune, timid women cannot resist the offenders, dominate over someone and are completely unable to defend their rights. They are characterized by unquestioning execution of any requests and orders, even if they run counter to their own interests.
  3. Perfectionist tendency. Folk wisdom it is not for nothing that it says that there should be a measure for everything. An uncontrollable striving for perfection in all forms, which is simply impossible to achieve, is hallmark low self-esteem and often leads to depression, nervous breakdowns and all-consuming hatred.
  4. Jealousy and possessiveness... Ladies are deeply mistaken who believe that these feelings indicate a violent temperament and increased emotionality... In fact, the desire to completely dispose of a loved one, carefully monitoring his every step, stems from extreme self-doubt.
  5. Frequent attempts to evoke feelings of pity... Insecure persons, mired in worries about their own worthlessness, try to attract the attention of others at "every corner" by telling the tragic circumstances of their lives. Unfortunately, this tactic often leads to the opposite result- people begin to avoid them even more.
  6. Failure to make decisions... Women with low self-esteem always try to shift the responsibility for their actions onto someone else. To independently make a decision for them is like death, and they start discussing any problem with the question: what would you do in my place ?!

What is the need to work on yourself

Asking the question, why do I, in fact, have high self-esteem, first of all, I need to get rid of the illusions that allow notorious people not to notice the wretchedness of their own lives. The most powerful incentives to start working on yourself are the desire to get out of the shadows and find your place under the sun.

A confident woman rarely suffers from unrequited love, easily outstrips rivals in the struggle for a high-paying position and even knows how to turn his failures to his advantage.

Instead of whining and looking for someone to blame, she carefully analyzes the situation, does correct conclusions and embarks on a new day with the clear intention of achieving complete victory where she was defeated yesterday.

How to boost a woman's self-esteem

Improving a woman's self-esteem is not an easy task, especially if self-doubt accompanies her for many years.

Wanting to achieve by all means desired result, it is necessary to understand that thoughts are material, to radically change the way of thinking and take on board the following tips:

  1. Always watch your posture... Unforgettable secretary Vera from the movie " Love affair at work"Was absolutely right when she said that correct gait Is the key to success. Crouching and leaning over, only the notorious persons waddle, and confident women swim around the world with their heads held high and their backs straight.
  2. Smile as often as possible... At the same time, it is not enough just to part your lips in a violent welcoming grin, a smile should come from the depths of your soul and be absolutely sincere. Only then will she bring desired fruits- will soften others and make them want to get to know the owner of a cheerful disposition as closely as possible.
  3. Take care of your appearance... No amount of self-esteem training will help a woman who considers herself ugly. Fortunately, in modern world for the benefit of the fair sex, there are numerous beauty salons that significantly improve their natural characteristics.
  4. Update your wardrobe regularly... New things, as, indeed, the very process of acquiring them, quite often provoke an increase in self-esteem for the most high level... In addition, a smartly dressed lady attracts much more attention from the male population of the planet than a modest mouse dressed in a washed sweater.
  5. Find hobbies... People who are open to everything new are much better at coping with low self-esteem, because as they acquire additional knowledge, they begin to believe in themselves more. At the same time, you can do anything: yoga, painting, landscape design, learning foreign languages, knitting, rock climbing - the list is almost endless.
  6. Eliminate the wrong people from your social circle... Notorious women have few real friends, but false girlfriends often hover around them, from time to time arranging an "energy feast" for themselves. How to deal with them ?! Chasing the same broom to the very threshold and even further, because as long as such personalities are guarding your self-esteem, it is not possible to raise it.
  7. Give up unnecessary responsibilities... Helping relatives and friends in solving their problems to the best of their ability is wonderful, but only as long as the person does not begin to act to the detriment of himself. When you feel like you're not coping with the stress, learn to say no and not blame yourself for it.

Forget the past by forgiving your parents

If the cause of low self-esteem is in childhood, the easiest way to end it is to understand the causes of parental negativity and show understanding.

Mom and Dad were young, it is quite possible that they did not know how to raise a child, and therefore showed excessive severity. Whatever it was, but this is a thing of the past and, in order to move on with ease through life, it must be carefully done away with.

Learn to accept yourself for who you are.

Long legs, luxurious hair or big bust can't do happy woman suffering from all kinds of complexes. Having corrected one "flaw" she will immediately find in herself a hundred others.

The only way to get out of vicious circle- understand that happiness is not a free app to impeccable appearance, which means that you need to look for the problem in something else.

Never compare yourself to anyone

In that vast world there are and always will be people who are much more fortunate in something: they are smarter, richer, luckier or more beautiful. However, comparing yourself to them is the most pointless exercise you can find.

Instead of wasting precious time on it, it is better to engage in self-improvement and rejoice every day, even if insignificant, but YOUR successes.

Strive to fulfill your dreams

Women, who have long been drowned in their own complexes, do not believe that their life's dream will ever come true. And they are 100% right! While they sit on the sofa, groaning about the vicissitudes of fate, she will certainly float away into someone else's, less "busy" hands.

The only way to prevent this is to start the hard way to achieve the desired goal, in spite of everything and in spite of everything.

Drive negative thoughts away

Some of the fairer sex, timid and insecure, tend to indulge in a long time negative thoughts, literally reveling in the hopelessness emanating from them.

Such behavior, most often, leads to sad consequences, because our life is what we think of it. You can only solve the problem by tuning in to positive mood and by appropriately changing your thinking.

Dear women, the path of self-love can be long, winding and very difficult, but retreating, you lose hope of ever knowing how wonderful it is to be a truly self-sufficient person!

Video: How a woman can raise her self-esteem

Hello! In this article, we'll talk about how to boost your self-esteem and self-confidence!

Each person is different. It consists of a large number advantages and disadvantages. But all people treat themselves differently. It's all about self-esteem. For most people, it is very underestimated, and this becomes the main reason many problems. Let's take a closer look at what the concept of "self-esteem" means, why it is underestimated, what this problem can lead to and how to raise self-confidence.

What is self-esteem? Her levels

There are several definitions of this concept, but the following is the simplest and most understandable.

Self-esteem is a person's attitude to himself. It can be overestimated, normal and underestimated.

Inflated self-esteem people suffer who extol their skills, human qualities, talents, physical capabilities and so on. Most often these are "daffodils" who do not have outstanding capabilities. They simply cannot adequately assess themselves, therefore they consider themselves better than others.

Adequate self-esteem occurs in people who really assess their strengths and skills. They understand that in addition to their advantages, they also have disadvantages. But they do not focus on failure, but confidently walk through life, achieving their goal.

Low self-esteem not uncommon in modern society... People with such self-esteem cannot adequately assess all their abilities and consider themselves worse than others, constantly create complexes and fears for themselves. These are pessimists who do not believe in themselves, constantly complain about life and do not know how to overcome self-doubt.

Self-Assessment Tests

In order to find out at what level your self-esteem is, we suggest passing some simple tests.

Self-assessment test # 1

Try to quickly, without hesitation, answer the following questions. Answer only "Yes" or "No". Then count the total number of positive and negative responses.

  1. Do you often scold yourself for your mistakes?
  2. Do you gossip with your friends when discussing others?
  3. You are missing clear goals and plans for life?
  4. Don't go to the gym or exercise?
  5. Do you often worry about trifles?
  6. When you find yourself in an unfamiliar company, do you try not to stand out and be invisible?
  7. When you meet someone of the opposite sex, do you know how to keep the conversation going?
  8. Does criticism cause you depression?
  9. Do you envy the success of others?
  10. Are you hurt by careless words spoken to you?

Test result:

If you answered “Yes” 1 to 3 times, then you have normal self-esteem.

If you answered “Yes” more than 3 times, this indicates that you are a person with low self-esteem.

Self-assessment test # 2

Count the points earned for each question. After passing the test, add up all the numbers obtained and compare them with the results.

  1. Do you often think and reproach yourself for some actions or statements?

Often - 1 point;

Sometimes - 3 points .

  1. How do you behave when dealing with witty people?

You try to surpass them in wit - 5 points;

You try to stop communication as soon as possible - 1 point;

  1. Which statement is closer to you?

“Luck is the result of the actions and labors of each person” - 5 points;

“Luck is unpredictable” - 1 point;

“A person should rely only on himself, and not on gifts of fate” - 3 points.

  1. If you were presented with a cartoon as a gift, what are your actions?

You will be delighted with the gift - 3 points;

Be offended - 1 point;

Take this idea into service and make your friend a similar surprise - 4 points;

  1. Are you running out of time?

Yes - 1 point;

No - 5 points;

I don't know - 3 points.

  1. Choosing a perfume as a gift you:
  1. Have you imagined yourself as another person?

Yes - 1 point;

No - 5 points;

I don't know - 3 points.

Test results:

If you scored 10-23 points, then you have low self-esteem. You often express dissatisfaction with yourself. You should consider how you can increase your self-esteem.

A score of 24-37 points indicates that you harmonious personality... You know how to praise yourself and adequately treat all your mistakes.

If you scored 38-50 points, this means that you are a confident person, but sometimes you are self-critical.

If, after passing the tests, you want to learn how to love yourself and increase your self-esteem, you need to comprehensively study your psyche.

At first glance, self-esteem is a fairly simple concept that does not imply any complications. In fact, self-esteem is the starting point in personality formation. It has a number of functions:

  • Protective... A morally stable person who is confident in his strengths and abilities is absolutely not interested in what others think of him. High self-esteem allows you to be stable and independent of the opinions of other people;
  • Regulatory... Man with normal level self-esteem independently makes decisions of a personal nature. He understands that his life depends only on his decisions and actions;
  • Developing... A self-sufficient person is interested in his further development... He longs for new knowledge and is constantly improving.

Why low self-esteem needs to be corrected

Perhaps people who have similar problems will not agree that something needs to be changed in life. Of course, it's easier to sit, do nothing, suffer and reproach everyone for the failures in your life.

But people with low self-esteem and self-doubt rarely achieve what they want in life, occupy lower positions, and have a minimum wage. Maybe they dream of earning several times more, being self-sufficient.

But for this you need to make important decisions, be confident in yourself, have a goal and try to achieve it. An insecure person will never become a leader, and the business he created is practically doomed to.

If you want to become a happy and financially independent person, then you urgently need to correct your psycho-emotional state and learn more about how to love yourself.

Reasons for low self-esteem

Our attitude towards ourselves is formed back in early childhood. A lot important role the parents play it.

If the kid is constantly reproached, scolded, told that he is bad, and, for example, Petya is good, then the child feels that he is worse than others. It seems to parents that they are thus raising their child, but in fact they cripple his psyche and make him a failure in life.

In addition to the parents, the environment leaves its mark on the child's self-esteem. If the baby is in kindergarten or school is offended by peers, he closes, withdraws into himself and begins to hate everything around.

Also the reason bad attitude physical disability or developmental defects can become to oneself. For example, if a child wears glasses, they are more likely to be teased by other children. In this case, the parents must compensate for this shortcoming.

For example, if the child is full, then you can give it to sports section fight. There he will develop physically, acquire the skill of self-defense and will be able to prove in practice that he is not weak and can stand up for himself.

There are many factors that influence the formation of self-esteem. And also the reasons for low self-esteem can be:

  • Wrong upbringing;
  • Constant failures in early age;
  • Wrong goal setting;
  • Unhealthy environment, etc.

It is very easy to notice a person who is insecure about himself. Psychological experts identify several signs of low self-esteem. Such an individual:

  • Constantly criticizes himself and expresses dissatisfaction with himself;
  • He listens to the opinions and criticism of others, which is why he suffers greatly;
  • There is indecision in actions, afraid to do something wrong and make a mistake;
  • Unbridled jealousy;
  • Feels envy of the achievements and successes of others;
  • Tries to please everyone and everyone;
  • Hostile to all the people around him;
  • Does not defend his point of view, constantly takes a defensive position and justifies himself;
  • Has a pessimistic attitude and negatively perceives reality.

An individual with low self-esteem is constantly looking for problems, blames everyone and does not know how to enjoy life. This attitude towards yourself can lead to serious mental illness and lingering depression.

If you have at least three of the above signs, then you should think about how to believe in yourself.

Signs of high self-esteem

People with high or normal self-esteem are more successful, cheerful and optimistic. A person who adequately evaluates himself has the following characteristics:

  • Takes its physical and physical appearance as it really is;
  • Confident in yourself and your strengths;
  • She is not afraid to make mistakes, but she takes any troubles as an important lesson;
  • Reacts adequately to criticism and praise;
  • Finds mutual language with people. Knows how to behave in society;
  • Understands that everyone has their own opinion, respects everyone's choice, but defends own point vision;
  • Controls his physical and emotional state;
  • Constantly improving and developing;
  • Achieves the set goals.

It is impossible to live without faith in yourself full life, enjoy every day and be a successful person... If you set yourself certain goals and want to change any side of your life, then you will have to change your attitude towards yourself.

It is possible and necessary to raise self-esteem. Your future depends on it. If you still doubt this, then you should know that most suicides are carried out by people with low self-esteem. Therefore, do not be lazy, learn all the ways to increase your self-esteem and start working on yourself.

Learn to set achievable and realistic goals

People who don't believe in themselves often set themselves unattainable goals. And they shrug their shoulders at the top and say: “I knew that I wouldn’t succeed”. You must try to look at things realistically and set realistic goals for yourself.

For example, you want to become famous fashion designer, but you can neither sew nor draw. In this case, you need to break one big dream into several small ones and gradually realize them. Sign up for a sewing and sewing course, and when you finish, take a drawing course. With minimal knowledge, it will be easier for you to succeed.

Refuse criticism

Stop criticizing yourself constantly and listen less to the criticism of others. Do not ask people for their opinion about your action, the work done, etc. If someone decides to express their opinion about you, it is better to ask culturally not to do so.

Try to eradicate dependence on public opinion.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Each person is individual and unique. Someone writes poetry, but does not know how to draw, and artists are not good at mathematics. Do not beat yourself up for the fact that you do something worse than others and stop constantly comparing yourself.

Realize that you are a unique person with your own set of talents.

Insecure people don't believe they can do good. Therefore, praise can be perceived as mockery or ridicule. Never say that your work done is a trifle. When you are being praised, keep your eyes on it, hold your gaze and just say "Thank you."

Don't make excuses

Never make excuses or blame yourself for what happened. What has been done has already been done. If, for example, an act has Negative consequences, it is better to take a lesson from this and not make similar mistakes in the future.

Learn to ask for help

Many people are afraid and do not dare to ask colleagues, friends or acquaintances for help. They think that their ignorance or inability to do something can cause ridicule and bullying. In fact, no one can know and be able to do everything in the world. Asking for help is not at all shameful.

Communicate more often with loved ones and people who love you.

In case of failures or some kind of trouble, do not keep everything to yourself. Communicate with relatives more often, because they, like no one else, believe in you, approve of most actions and always support.

In the case of a blues, do not withdraw into yourself, but just call your parents, and they will find the right words to support you.

Bring your business to the end

Be responsible for every undertaking. Complete everything, even small things. Do not postpone them "for later", because most likely they will remain unfulfilled.

Learn to love your body

Each person has both advantages and disadvantages. Learn to hide flaws and highlight your strengths. For example, if you need to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in a woman who has broad shoulders, it is enough to choose the right cut of clothes and others will not notice this flaw. At the same time, you need to draw the attention of others to your strengths, for example, Beautiful legs... Don't focus on negative qualities, you better learn to love yourself for a huge number of virtues.

Exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle

Everyone knows that in healthy body healthy mind... Health-conscious people very rarely have low self-esteem... This is due at least to the fact that during sports, the hormone of joy is produced, you feel satisfied and at ease.

Leading active image life, eating right, you correct your figure, you start to like yourself, and this helps to love yourself and increase self-esteem.

Keep track of your appearance

If a person does not follow his hairstyle, manicure, condition of clothes, etc., then everyone, and he in particular, is disgusted with the created image. The sight of a sloppy person is repulsive.

But if you go to a hairdresser, put on ironed clothes and use good perfumes then your shoulders will straighten on their own and you will feel the confidence that will appear.

Get rid of bad habits

Insecure people very often relieve stress with cigarettes and alcohol. Under the influence of alcohol, the problems do not seem so big, and life is easier. But when morning comes, you understand that difficulties have not disappeared and they need to be overcome.

Do not waste your time on smoke breaks and constant binges. So you ruin your body and postpone solving problems. When you throw at least one bad habit, then you will definitely gain faith in yourself.

Connect with optimists and successful people

A large imprint on our psyche and habits is imposed by the circle of people with whom we communicate. We adopt each other's habits, thereby trying to imitate someone.

If you are surrounded by people who are constantly unhappy with everything and have a pessimistic attitude, then sooner or later you will fall into depression.

Avoid the company of whiners and try to communicate with cheerful people who will charge you with positivity, instill confidence in yourself and push you to achieve new goals.

Visit psychologists, trainings

If you are sure that you cannot cope with the problem of low self-esteem on your own, then you can turn to the advice of a psychologist. A specialist will teach you to love yourself.

In parallel with this, you can attend several trainings aimed at increasing self-esteem. It will be at least interesting, as useful as possible.

Listen to affirmations

Remember the movie "The Most Charming and Attractive". There main character standing in front of the mirror, she repeated the words about how beautiful she is and how men like her. In this way, she increased her self-esteem by constantly repeating affirmations.

Affirmation - small text, which is repeated or listened to by people to increase their self-esteem.

Try it yourself. For example, learn the phrase “I am a successful person. I will achieve all my goals ”and repeat it constantly. You can also record it on a digital medium (USB flash drive, disk, etc.) and listen to it constantly.

After a while you will forget what it is low level self-esteem.

Learn to step out of your comfort zone

People who are insecure try to be invisible. It is very difficult for them to perform new job, errands or just meet unknown people.

If you are planning to become a successful person and then start doing things that are unusual for you. Take on the tasks that you previously avoided. For example, if you are planning a New Year's corporate party, and no one agrees to the role of Santa Claus, propose your candidacy. Thus, you will get rid of the fear of public speaking and leave your “comfort zone”.

Read positive literature

Give preference to books with a good ending. After reading the next fairytale novel, you will believe that sometimes this happens in real life.

Find your dream job

Every person has favourite hobby... But more often the citizens of our country choose a profession not because of the call of the heart, but according to the size of their salary. Therefore, the work performed does not bring the desired satisfaction, and this can lead to low self-esteem.

In order to raise self-confidence in a man, it is necessary to change the profession, and if this is not possible, then you can try to pay maximum attention to some hobby. Doing what you love gives you faith, because it's nice to do what you do well.

Learn to give yourself to others

Whenever possible, be sure to help your friends, relatives and little-known people. If they ask for help, then they believe that you can help. Perhaps their faith will raise your self-esteem.

Live desires

Successful and confident people constantly desire and achieve more. Try it and you will constantly want something and do everything to achieve it. After the desires are achieved, you will understand that everything is working out for you, and you can do whatever you want.

Envy is not the most best quality person. She makes us compare ourselves to someone else. Never envy anyone, but rejoice at what you have.

Do not intrude, do not be hypocritical and do not fake

These three qualities prevent a person from having adequate self-esteem. If a colleague does not want to closely communicate with you, do not impose. Find many benefits in this. Do not curry favor with people, so you put yourself below someone.

Throw away laziness

When a person is lazy, he easily gets depressed. Of course, we are not encouraging you to work all the time. Just learn to distinguish laziness from relaxation.

If it's hard for you to overcome idleness, then, against your will, start doing the planned work, and the desire will come to you a little later.

Take action!

The longer you lie on the couch and dream of a bright future, the further it moves away from you. Start changing yourself and your worldview now. There is no need to wait for tomorrow, Monday or the beginning of a new month. Take action now!

Self-esteem techniques and techniques

Psychologists advise people with low self-esteem to use the following exercises.

List your positive qualities.

People with low self-esteem are not used to talking and thinking well of themselves. They find it easier to find 100 disadvantages in themselves than several advantages. But every person has a lot of positive qualities.

In order to understand this, take a piece of paper and write down all your merits. For example, you bake the most delicious pies, you can fix any household item you have beautiful hair, long eyelashes, thin waist etc. During the day, add new advantages to the list, and then attach it in a prominent place (for example, on the refrigerator) and review it regularly.

Keep a Success Diary

This method is very similar to the previous one. Only now you will have to write down your successes and achievements in the allotted notebook every day. For example, they gave alms to a needy person, helped a child solve a problem, prepared a very delicious dinner, helped my wife to make purchases, etc.

This method will help increase your self-esteem through a visual list of accomplishments.

Amulet

People have a lot of fears. But every day everyone has to overcome them. If you can't do this, try to find an amulet for yourself. It can be any item (for example, a coin, a small toy, etc.) Magical properties she is unlikely to possess, but you must believe that the amulet will help you and protect you from trouble.

So, overcoming fear and self-doubt, you will achieve your goal, and any achievements have a beneficial effect on the human psyche.

Actor

Even if you don't feel happy, try to play the role of a cheerful and carefree person. Imagine that you are an actor who has been assigned an important role and you need to get used to the character. Very soon, you will notice that you have stopped playing the role, and you really feel more successful and happier.

This method aims to overcome fears. If you are a shy student and don't like to speak in public, ask for an assignment that involves speaking in public. Submit your candidacy as the main character theatrical performance, or start writing a report, which you will successfully read at an open seminar.

Leaving the "comfort zone", you get rid of fears, thereby gaining self-confidence.

Clown

If you feel inferior, you are confident that you look bad and try not to attract special attention then this method is for you.

Dress very bright and tasteless like a clown. Put on provocative makeup, wear pants and a skirt, put on curlers on your head, or winter hat summer and go to the store. Ignore the surprised looks of passers-by. This leaves you in your comfort zone.

After you reincarnate again into your everyday look sure to become confident / confident and increase your self-esteem.

Conclusion

Low self-esteem is psychological condition person who needs adjustment. People without faith in themselves are unhappy in 99% of cases. They are a gray mass that lives their lives thoughtlessly. Few people want to communicate with this category of people. That is why a person with low self-esteem is withdrawn and has practically no friends.

In order to correct the situation, it is necessary:

  • Believe in yourself;
  • Learn to set goals and achieve them;
  • Get out of the "comfort zone";
  • Communicate with successful and cheerful people;
  • Develop mental and physical capabilities.

If you take all the advice and do all the exercises, then you will definitely achieve great heights in life. And remember the expression that others treat us the way we treat ourselves.

If the mother shows sensitivity and understanding, then she will be able to help her daughter increase her self-esteem.

How to do it? American psychologists who specialize in working with adolescents give 12 simple tips.

1. Acceptance of your body.

Mom often does not realize how much influence she has on her daughter's acceptance or rejection of her body.

Never ask your daughter if jeans make you fat; don't say you were bad because you ate a slice of pizza and now you have to give up dessert.

A mother's self-esteem affects her daughter's self-esteem.

2. Media literacy.

Teach your daughter media literacy. How to do it? Watch TV together, discuss what you saw. Help her work out critical glance, which will help her not to take all the information on faith.

Encourage her to do what she wants and what she needs. Create opportunities for her to speak up. Ask what she wants, let her make a choice, and then fulfill it in life. This is very important for improving the girl's self-esteem.

4. Team sports.

Studies show that girls who play in teams have a better sense of dignity... They interact with each other, see a worthy example in front of them, and they do not need to assert themselves at the expense of something else.

5. Don't borrow your daughter's clothes.

You have to let her have her own style. It is very difficult to maintain your self-esteem at the proper level when your mom is, by generally accepted standards, both prettier and slimmer than you.

6. Move away from praise for appearance.

This also applies to talking with little girls. Try to balance compliments about the girl's appearance with compliments about who she is and what she does in the world.

For every compliment made to a daughter's appearance, there should be at least two that are not related to her. The same goes for other girls who come your way: your daughter's friends, nieces, etc.

7. Help to acquire skills that do not depend on appearance.

Engage her in activities that build confidence, rather than focus on good shape and the acquisition of things.

Sports, theater, music, art- all this can really help girls express themselves through words, creativity, and not through their appearance.


8. Praise your daughter for her efforts, not her performance.

Shift the focus from results to effort and skill development. Mastery builds self-confidence and teaches us to calmly accept failure.

9. Pay attention to the magazines that are in your home.

Research shows that after 15 minutes of viewing fashion magazine, the mood goes from curiosity and enthusiasm to self-comparison and low self-esteem.

10. Don't discuss other women.

And don't let the boys and men in your family do that. Don't let kids tease each other about food or appearance. Don't let this take root in your home. This is really harmful.

11. Dad, don't treat your daughter as helpless.

When a father treats his daughter as a fragile, defenseless, little creature, he seems to say: "Your job is to look good, and the man will sweep everything in his path and save you."

Instead of giving her the ability and tools to do something on her own, so that she speaks for herself. You can do the same things with your daughter as you would with your son.

12. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what.

She needs to know that you will love her, no matter how her appearance changes, how she dresses, or how she behaves. Because, although adolescents depend on the opinions of their peers, what their parents think of them is more important to them than ever.

Women with low self-esteem suffer from insecurity, fear of criticism and do not know how to accept compliments. The habitual role of a victim does not allow one to perceive life in all its colors and boldly look into the future. Learning to resist manipulation.

As you know, self-esteem is how a person evaluates himself, his personal qualities and capabilities in comparison with other people, what place he assigns to himself in society. Self-esteem is not inherited - it is formed in preschool age under the influence of the people closest to the child - the parents. It depends on them first of all whether the baby will have adequate self-esteem, overestimated or underestimated. And how will it turn out future life how successful she will be, whether he will be able to set goals and achieve them, or whether he will constantly doubt his abilities and put up with the stigma of a failure - it all depends on his level of self-esteem.

It is not easy to live next to people who have high self-esteem, because they are convinced that they are always right, do not see their own shortcomings and do not admit their mistakes. They believe they have the right to rule others, strive to be the center of attention and show aggression if someone disagrees with them. “You are the best,” they were told in childhood. “You are the queen!” - repeated the father to the familiar girl. He believed that, feeling like a queen, she would make everyone around her believe in it. But for some reason, those around her did not want to play the role of her subjects, and those who wanted to be friends with her became less and less.

Life is not easy for those whose. For some reason they understandable alone, the parents humiliate the child, showing their power over him, break him, making him obedient, and eventually turn him into an infantile weak-willed creature about which everyone who is lazy wipes their feet.

“The horror that you have done, you can’t be entrusted with anything!” ! " - criticism, threats, comparison with other children, unwillingness to reckon with the child's opinion and see him as a person, conversations with him in an orderly tone reduce his self-esteem and self-esteem. His own life attitudes have not yet been formed, and he considers his parental beliefs to be an immutable truth. Psychologists call this direct suggestion, and young children are highly suggestible.

If mom and dad call the child a fool and insignificance, then this is how he will perceive himself. As the proverb says: "Tell a man a hundred times that he is a pig, and for the hundred and first he will grunt." It will be perceived in the same way by others.

Another test for a child's self-esteem is adolescence... At this time, he is very vulnerable and painfully accepts criticism. If you repeat to him that nothing good will come of him and that he has only one road - to prison or to the panel, then you should not be surprised that this will happen.

Ultimately, people with low self-esteem justify all the nicknames and epithets that they were awarded in childhood. They really become losers, losers, outsiders. They lose, sometimes without even joining the game, because they are indecisive and do not believe in themselves. “I’m not worthy,” they explain their loss.

Women with low self-esteem - which men choose them?

Women with low self-esteem, just like men with the same character, do not achieve significant success in life, because they "know their place." However, psychologists have noticed that they also attract men. of a certain type- domineering, authoritarian and selfish. It is beneficial for them to have such a woman at their side, because she is not demanding and she is easy to manage. It is easy to convince her that the main task-create comfortable conditions husband, raise children and she has no right to demand more than he can give her.

A woman with low self-esteem is also convenient because she does not need to be jealous - she is grateful to her husband for marrying her, and does not look at anyone else. And even if she looks, she believes that she herself does not deserve the attention of men. The husband can relax, because whether he is married to a woman with adequate or high self-esteem, he would have to strain to conform. And so much is forgiven him - and pettiness, and rudeness, and slovenliness, because a woman believes that she does not deserve better.

A woman with low self-esteem is treated as a consumer not only by her husband, but also by those around her. Knowing that she cannot refuse, they sometimes sit on her head, hanging their problems on her and shifting their responsibilities onto her. Moreover, women with low self-esteem are often perfectionists, striving to do everything in the best possible way.

It is especially easy for them, instilling in them a sense of guilt. In an effort to make amends for this non-existent guilt, they try even more to please in order to earn praise.

What are they - women with low self-esteem?

Many women have no idea that all their depression and setbacks are associated with low self-esteem. They think: this is how life turned out, unfavorable circumstances are to blame, which prevented them from becoming happy, successful and loved. "You can't escape fate!" Are we not worthy of this love? “I am alone at home,” says the psychologist Ekaterina Mikhailova, who wrote a book under the same title. If we want to be understood, appreciated and loved by others, we must learn to understand, appreciate and love ourselves.

Do these women remind us of anyone? They:

1. Reliable

But not because they are compassionate and feel satisfaction from fulfilling other people's requests. On the contrary, they scold themselves for not being able to refuse, get angry and annoyed. But they cannot say “no”: all of a sudden the asking person will be offended or think badly about them, but the opinion of others is very important for them, and it must certainly be positive;

2. Painfully tolerate criticism

Women with adequate self-esteem they also adequately perceive criticism: they accept it or not, without falling into hysterics. If you say that she is wrong, for a woman with low self-esteem, for her it will become almost a tragedy. Resentment, tears and indignation will follow, because she perceives criticism as an insult and humiliation, hints of her inferiority. After all, as you know, people with low self-esteem want everyone to like it and be good for everyone;

3. Are overly critical of their appearance

They do not tolerate criticism from others, but they themselves are never satisfied with themselves and their own appearance, therefore, they strive not to stand out, to be in the shadows. They don't like their figure, their face, their body, their hair - nothing. At the same time, they often engage in public self-criticism, obviously, subconsciously expecting that others will begin to dissuade them, assure them of the opposite and make compliments;

4. Do not know how to accept compliments

They love them, but they do not know how to accept. It is possible that in response to the praise that she looks great today, a woman with low self-esteem will start fussing and say something like: “Yes, I washed my head today” or “Oh, this is an old dress, so you can't see what I am like in it. the cow became ";

5. Feel like a victim

Their vulnerable psyche reacts painfully to every sidelong glance and crooked word. They exaggerate their importance in the lives of other people, it seems to them that others only think about how to offend them. They often feel sorry for themselves, repeating in case of failure: "Well, not with my happiness";

6. Give up their own desires

They have their own dreams and desires, but they are driven somewhere so deep that they no longer remind of themselves. And all because women with low self-esteem live by other people's desires. Waiting for the weekend to walk with your husband in the park? But he said: "We are going to the dacha to clean the garden, weed the garden." Tired and want to take a break? “What a vacation! Look, my old mom is working, and you go to bed? ”. “My friends are coming to visit tomorrow. Do not want? Can not be. Run to the kitchen, to the stove! "

They do not know how to refuse, because it means disappointing others, not justifying their hopes, which women with low self-esteem cannot allow;

7. Not able to make choices and take responsibility

Too often they say the words: "I cannot", "I will not succeed", "I have no right to decide this." It is not surprising that making a decision is an incredible burden for them, because you can make a mistake and deserve disapproval, get negative assessment... Therefore, they hesitate for a long time and, if possible, shift this task to others: “What do you advise? I will do as you say ”;

8. Dissatisfied with their surroundings

They often complain to colleagues and girlfriends that their husband is suppressing them, that their mother-in-law finds fault with them, and that relatives do not value them. At home, they cry that the boss does not consider their point of view, and the employees offend. Psychologists say that subconsciously women with low self-esteem themselves attract people who do not value them, and thus additionally confirm in the opinion that they are worthless losers.

We increase our self-esteem

Women who are tired of being a puppet and an object of manipulation, who want to live their own lives and not depend on other people's opinions, can correct their character. It's not difficult - you just need to want to change.

1. Minimize or stop communicating with people around whom self-esteem decreases

We doubt, constantly seek advice, show uncertainty, show how someone's remark hurts us, make excuses all the time and easily take the blame - and as a result, we become such a whipping boy, an eternal scapegoat that no one takes seriously and which is not accepted to reckon with. People easily figure out who they can treat with condescension, downright, and begin to manipulate him.

To a greater extent, we are to blame for the current situation: they say that they treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

But if we are no longer satisfied with this state of affairs, we must "show our teeth" - of course, not with the help of hysterics. We control our reactions, giving no reason to consider us a spineless mumble.

Changing the attitude of those who are already accustomed to our "toothlessness" towards themselves is more difficult than starting to build relationships from scratch, but possible. However, if those around us stubbornly continue to assert themselves at our expense, then we do not need such communication. We will spend time with those with whom we become better and gain confidence in our abilities.

2. Love yourself

The fact that you need to love yourself is now much talked about and written about. Loving yourself does not mean giving a damn about the others and rushing around with yourself, your beloved, as with a written sack. It means understanding yourself, learning to live in harmony with yourself and with the world, respect yourself and not engage in self-flagellation and self-criticism.

Louise Hay, a renowned American psychologist and author of several books on psychological self-help, suggests that in the morning you go to the mirror and, looking at your reflection, say: “I love you. What can I do for you today to make you joyful and happy? " At first, this phrase will interfere with uttering some inner protest, but soon it will sound natural and free.

As Louise Hay writes, “I'm not trying to fix the problem. I correct my thoughts. And then the problem fixes itself. "

3. We set ourselves positive attitudes

We do this with the help of visualizations. Louise Hay's phrase about self-love above is one possible affirmation. Some people complain that their affirmations don't work. “I repeat the same thing ten times a day, but nothing changes,” they say.

Louise Hay compares affirmations to a seed or a seed - it is not enough to plant it, it needs to be watered, it needs to be looked after. Having planted, for example, a tomato, we do not expect that we will receive fruits tomorrow? The same can be said about affirmations and visualizations - they stimulate us and keep us from forgetting about the goal, but for them to work, we must take real steps.

4. Meditate

For example: we relax, close our eyes and mentally transfer ourselves to some wonderful place, where we were once and where we felt good. We will feel it very clearly - sounds, smells. Then we will imagine a wizard-wanderer who tells us: “My dear, you are beautiful and unique. You have the right to your opinion, you may not know something or be wrong. You can judge for yourself what is good and what is bad, and take responsibility when you wish. You have the right to decide for yourself what to do and when. You have the right to be who you are! You came to this world, to this planet for your own sake! "

The wizard smiles at us and says goodbye to us, and we breathe in, open our eyes and return to reality.

5. We do not save on ourselves

Remarque wrote that "A woman who saves on herself causes a man's only desire - to save on her."

Nothing raises a woman's self-esteem more than the confidence that she is good and desirable. (Obviously, this is why some men are comfortable with an unassuming and undemanding wife, next to whom you can not strain yourself, without fear that she will leave or she will be taken away.)

Gym, swimming pool, beauty salon, SPA-salon, etc. are not only external beauty, but also health, and above all mental.