How to return passion in a relationship with a girl. How to bring back passion in a relationship with your spouse? How to bring passion back into sex

10.04.2019

Instructions

Think about your brightest and most passionate moments at the very beginning of the relationship. Like you as students, when you were driving to an empty dacha and looking forward to finally being alone. Or how they wandered around St. Petersburg all night, because they missed the train, and there was no money for a hotel. Try to recreate these moments. Go to the country house. Take a walk around the city at night. Immerse yourself in memories, feel yourself again passion.

Write a sms to a friend of the most daring content. And it's okay that they will come at the wrong time. Messages about how terribly bored you are, looking forward to the return of your beloved home and dreaming of taking off his clothes right in the hallway will come in handy even at a meeting with the boss. Don't let your man come to his senses. Write one SMS after another. Your boyfriend will not be late at work this evening.

Change your environment. Buy a last minute ticket to any place and go on vacation for at least a week. And it's okay that you find yourself out of season. You are not going to see the sights. Your task is to test the strength of the bed in the hotel.

Have an adventure for two. Experienced together powerful emotions push into each other's arms even strangers... And you just have to ride a roller coaster or go to a session of the most creepy horror movie of the last decade. You will not even notice how you find yourself in your bedroom under the covers.

Arrange an erotic session instead of watching the evening television news. Prepare a light snack, a bottle of good wine, take a shower and put on a new, totally awesome underwear... It is unlikely that you will know how it all ended with the on-screen movie characters. But they will probably envy your continuation of the evening.

Sources:

passion in relationships in 2019

Indeed, how? What can make a man blaze passion? How a woman should behave, what to say, to do in order to start the mechanism of male lust on the right time? It’s not that simple, but it’s not that difficult if you follow the instructions.

Instructions

A man should notice you, focus attention on you, understand your interest in him. How can this be achieved? Depends on the setting and circumstances. Let's say you sit in a decent establishment with your friends. But you remember that you are looking, you are looking, which, by the way, is looking for you. Otherwise, what would he have here? So, we draw attention to ourselves with just one look. A woman who goes hunting must perfectly master the technique of shooting with her eyes. No gazes... An instant appeal, and a second later - a pretended indifference - this is a skill, but it is worth learning. And remember (you can even hack to death on the nose), the man must come up first!

So, here he came up, spoke to you. What's next? Lead the conversation so that he invites you to dance if he has not already come up with this proposal. You need to be careful in the dance. You are kindling passion in a partner, and not hanging on his neck. Therefore, it would not hurt to learn to dance. Make it clear that you can obey him, but you can slip out of his hands if you see fit.

When you feel that the man gets turned on, “in fact interesting place»Tell me that you need to go home urgently, because tomorrow is Katya's (nod to the side, because Katya knows), and you promised to bake a cake for her. Of course, no birthday is planned tomorrow, you celebrated it safely last week, but that doesn't matter, since this whole scene is pure water... The man will volunteer to accompany you, agree, on the way there is an opportunity to talk a little, asks for a phone (if he has not already asked). And, finally, the most basic and, perhaps, the most difficult thing: if you yourself caught fire - slam the door in front of his nose. And no gingerbreads!

Wait. He will definitely call. Make a date. Agree, but not at home, especially not at his place, it is better again in the same place where you met. Go ahead. Prepare yourself. Listen. Look. Dance with him, show a willingness to make closer contact. Let him conduct, let him. But if one stormy night is not enough for you, and you want a long passionate relationship, then let this kiss be goodbye.

Excerpt. At least three days. Call, talk about everything. Warm up interest subtly. But postpone the date on any pretext. But you can't drag out the wait, remember that there are a lot of young imposing hunters around.

But now you can. Second date. You can immediately invite to your place for tea with that notorious cake. Create a setting appropriate for the occasion. Men are naturally curious, they like to discover new things. So you open yourself from an unexpected side. Yes, even dance a belly dance, even arrange a strip show. So that only he was firmly convinced that this is all for him alone. For dinner, cook something light and. Everyone understands that the cake is just an excuse, most likely it will not come to dessert ...

Add a "fresh stream"

You need to start changes with the environment around you. The familiar atmosphere of the bedroom is no longer associated with a violent passion - this is a place of relaxation. Bring a "fresh stream" into the bedroom: throw out old and unnecessary things, move furniture, hang pictures and new curtains.

The next step is to make changes in yourself. Cardinal changes in appearance - the right way attract the attention of a man. Dye your hair, change your hairstyle, change your wardrobe. Erotic underwear will help arouse sexual desire in your man, intimate haircut, piercing or tattoo.

Along with external changes, try and behave differently. Surprise your spouse with unusual behavior, he should see you from a new, unknown side. For example, dance rehearsed in secret or recreate the behavior of your favorite heroine from adult films.

Passion-stirring tricks

Very often, the most passionate sex occurs in spouses after separation. If your husband is away for a week on a business trip or to see his parents, start preparing for his arrival. Text him daily or emailsin which to report that you miss them. The more frank they are, the more stronger man will be waiting for the meeting. By the time your spouse returns, tidy yourself up, send the kids to grandma and put on the sexiest outfit.

If no short-term separation is planned in the near future, arrange romantic dinner in a beautiful setting. It is recommended to include aphrodisiacs in the menu - foods that increase sexual desire... These include strawberries, bananas, artichokes, fish, shrimp, cilantro, red wine.

Many men are lovers of prying. Set up a situation that is comfortable to see how you are caring for yourself. For example, leave open door to the bathroom or to the bedroom and “do not notice” the presence of the husband. Dim the lights to look as effective as possible. Naturally, you don't need to shave your legs and do epilation at such a moment, apply cream to the body, comb your hair, just paint in front of the mirror.

If you are going to visit your friends, “forget” to put on your panties and inform your husband about it already in the car. With this information, your man will be thinking about sex all evening. And if you manage to retire in the bathroom, do not give up spontaneous sex - the adrenaline rush guarantees an unforgettable orgasm!

One of the most popular ways to trigger a flash of passion is to make a man jealous. But you should use this method carefully so that jealousy does not lead to disastrous consequences.

To begin with, a woman needs to look at her man for the first time and imagine that he needs to be conquered again. Mysterious looks help a lot in this, accidental touches, languid smiles, flirtatious conversations - but all this should be in moderation so that a man is not taken aback by such a change. A good move will be SMS of indecent content, which can be sent to a man when he is at work - this will significantly fuel his imagination. The perfect solution there can be a change in the usual image and a subsequent photo session with a professional photographer, the best pictures of which can be posted on the page of your social network.

You can also return passion to a relationship by changing the environment - for example, by renting a hotel room while traveling to another city / country and having some kind of celebration there. significant event continued as hot night... When you go to the cinema, you can get tickets for the “kissing spots” and hold a movie show for a more enjoyable experience than watching another Hollywood gum. In addition, you can engage in a joint study of some sexual practice or play exciting role-playing games with dressing up.

Many women, in an attempt to regain passionate relationships, watch their favorite porn films with men and even dare to shoot home. This method is not suitable for shy women and romantic natures - it is better for them to give preference to sex in a beautiful and erotic environment. Also recommended in the morning after passionate night, periodically pamper men with a smile glowing with happiness and freshly brewed coffee in bed - it is very pleasant for them.

Sooner or later, but unfortunately, even the most temperamental couple may lose their passion. Relationships become insipid, every next day is very similar to the previous one, in which there is a place for work and household chores, but there is not even a hint of a passionate intimate life, as it once was, in the old happy times. If you do not change anything and continue to live like this, there is a risk that one of the spouses will have hobbies on the side and, as a result, a divorce. Let's take a look at the causes of this problem and consider some methods to solve it.

Young couple who are just starting their joint life path, sees everything from a different angle. Inspired by love and happy that their life together has finally begun, they have no time to miss the nights in bed together, and it does not even occur to them that someday the nights will become long and not so stormy. But passion is a very fragile and capricious thing that can leave a relationship, some earlier, some later. For some couples, the passion disappears after pregnancy and childbirth. After these events, life changes radically, and sometimes the strength is only enough to crawl to bed and fall asleep. And someone has a banal satiety. The spouses look in the eyes of each other in the form of a book they have read, which they have already thoroughly studied and do not want to read it anymore, because boring and the script is well known. Whatever the reason is not to blame for the disappearance of passion from the relationship, first of all, at least one of the spouses should realize the size of the problem and want to change something in their life for the better, and not continue to live in a bland relationship, hiding behind excuses that they say so everyone lives. First, try talking to your other half. By their nature, not everyone, of course, is ready to admit the problem in the relationship. But even though your words may not have desired effect, however, in any case, they will at least make you think. Remember together about previous relationship, romantic encounters and passionate pastimes. Just do it without reproach, trying not to offend anyone. Dear women, remove the word “no” from your vocabulary. Of course, it is difficult to simultaneously raise children, solve problems at work, everyday life at home and stay full of strength by nightfall. Most modern women there is simply no time left for a husband. It is easier for her to say no to him and finally to forget herself in a long-awaited dream after hard daythan to fulfill marital duties with enthusiasm. This behavior is big mistakesince if a man is constantly denied, then he begins to feel rejected, and he wants less and less intimacy from you. Learn to prioritize correctly. Better to accumulate a mountain of unfinished linen or you won't clean up the scattered toys in the evening, but your husband will receive affection from you and will certainly thank you for this during the day. great mood and your love.

Feel free to get creative in bed. No man can resist a woman in beautiful lingerie. Visit an intimate store, there are very entertaining things that one of the spouses may dream of, but is ashamed to say so. Feel free to experiment. Try making an adult family video. The very process of filming and watching videos is very exciting and adds passion to the relationship. Start flirting with each other again. Women, flirt in front of your husband, give him love notes and write gentle messages on the phone. Men, remember what it means to flirt with a woman, hug her more often, throw a meaningful look at her. Start a fun flirting game that will make you both look forward to the night.

In the midst of daily problems and troubles, do not forget to find time only for each other. If you feel that the relationship is getting monotonous again, arrange romantic meetings, original dates and don't be afraid to talk about your desires. Complete trust in each other, together with mutual love, can work miracles, which means that they can easily return the previous fervor to the relationship.

Even if the spouses love each other and live in perfect harmony, this does not mean that their sex life as varied as before. Even sex with an ideal partner sooner or later becomes boring. And intimacy is a very important component of any relationship. Due to boring, monotonous sex life or its complete absence, many families break up, even after 15 years of marriage. If such a problem has appeared in the family, then you should not turn a blind eye to it. It is important to take action to bring back old passion and feel as if the relationship is just beginning.

Why does passion for each other disappear in a relationship?

Often, passion in a relationship disappears after the birth of a second child. It is worth understanding what it is difficult period, especially for a woman. At this time, one should support each other and treat the problem with understanding.

If the lack of passion in the relationship between husband and wife appeared after the birth of a child, then the situation can be corrected. It is worth understanding that a child takes a lot of time and effort - both physical and moral. It is normal for a spouse to have decreased sex drive.

Renewing feelings will help joint trip, leisure, doing something common hobby... Unusual surroundings and vivid emotions will dilute the routine in relationships and sex. But it's important to spend time together. If a man and a woman decide to rest separately, then this will only aggravate the situation. It is extremely important to spend time together, whether it is a day or a few hours. It is advisable to relax only in the company of each other - without strangers, including friends, relatives and children.

Passing passion and emotions - natural phenomenon... It is normal that spouses get used to each other, and it is no longer as easy to please a husband or wife as it used to be. But you should not despair, since there are a lot of ways. It's worth starting with analyzing the problem. If there is no passion in a relationship, and both spouses understand this, then you should talk directly. Let both the husband and wife speak out about what they would like to change, try and how they see their future sex life married.

It is more difficult when one of the partners denies that there is a problem and does not want to change anything. In this case, it is worth acting very carefully, unobtrusively, inventing something new on your own or demonstrating something that can interest your spouse. You can offer your ideas directly, especially when a relationship of trust is established in the marriage.

It is worth remembering that no one is to blame for the extinction of passion after several years of marriage. Both spouses must work on the relationship. You cannot blame your husband or wife for something, since there are always two to blame.

After 10 years of marriage, it is worth bringing new emotions and sensations into the spouses' sex life. Over time, the old passion fades away and people get used to each other, so sex becomes boring, monotonous, the same. You should try something that has never been in a relationship before: it may be of some kind sexual activity, other positions, the use of special intimate toys. It all depends on the fetishes and preferences of the couple. It is also worth trying to bring some spontaneity into intimacy.

After 15 years of marriage, you can think about how to diversify your intimate life with the help of a sexologist. If all of the above methods did not help, then the specialist will give advice from a professional point of view.

How to get your wife back in love

How to diversify your sex life?

Any little thing is capable of diversifying sex life and kindling the fire of passion. If the wife or husband knows about fetishes and preferences of the soul mate, then emphasis should be placed on this.

There are several methods that can help renew emotions in a married couple's relationship:

Romance. The special atmosphere is conducive to experiments in bed. It is worth trying to recreate a pleasant atmosphere, re-read old letters to each other, review photos, listen to songs that remind of some events from living together.
Flirting. You should try to change your usual behavior. Intonation, tone, gestures, facial expressions - all this brings novelty to a relationship. It is necessary to flirt with your wife or husband so that the other half does not guess and does not know about this idea.
New emotions. It is worth going on a long-desired trip or going to an event of interest to both spouses. Intimate life can fade away due to the emotional discomfort experienced by both the woman and the man. If you try to diversify your life, then sex will bring completely different sensations.
Change of appearance. One of the spouses should change the style of clothing, hairstyle, as well as the length of the bristles or makeup. It is not necessary to be transformed forever, temporary changes are enough. It will be interesting both for the second half, and for the person who has reincarnated as a spouse or wife.
A change of scenery. Experiments in bed have not been canceled either. You should try to realize your long-standing desires. It all depends on the nature and temperament of the couple: someone is trying sex in public places, but for someone it is enough to rent a hotel room for the weekend.

It is important to remember that each person is different. Perhaps the couple is experiencing some specific problem - for example, a woman is ashamed of age-related changes in her appearance, and therefore is embarrassed to have sex with her husband. The main thing is to learn to trust your soul mate and speak directly about your desires, to be a friend to your wife or husband. You should try to spend more time together, confess your love, learn to listen and understand your passion. If a spouses will look at their relationship in a new way, then the problem with intimate life will be solved by itself.

The question of how to return the love of a husband is asked by many women when any doubts about their strength creep into their heads. family relations.

Only when some unusual changes begin in the relationship between the spouses, does the woman begin to worry and think that she must certainly be returned. Psychologists give enough universal advice on this occasion.

In contact with

Can be returned, yes. But difficult.

Psychologists believe that our habits depend on internal state... For a woman, sometimes it becomes the most important husband, home, family, work, kitchen - everything except herself. Roughly speaking, she herself ceases to love herself. If there is no love for you, then there will be nowhere to take love from the outside. Without self-love, a husband's love cannot be returned. Attention! Love and egocentrism are different things, do not confuse them.

Psychologists also point to the other extreme. When the wife is perfect. The legs are always perfectly shaved, the styling is always perfectly neat, the dress is always perfectly ironed. For whom? Psychologists believe that about 8/10 women try so hard for the sake of men and their attention. Not for yourself, but for someone else. Again: is it possible to return a man's love when you do not love yourself in any way? It seems to be different things, but the outcome is the same.

Much more difficult is the question of how to return the husband's love ,. It would seem that the situation has changed radically - here he already went to another woman and now it seems like his love belongs to her, everything cannot be returned. But no! Psychologists believe that this is just the next stage of an existing problem, that it is just a matter of time.

You are the key to regaining your husband's respect and love. According to the opinions of many psychologists, the main thing is to regain interest in oneself for oneself, and then the husband's love will return.

How to get your husband's attention and love back?

Do you love your husband yourself? This is not about caring and guardianship, but about love.

It is illogical to deliberately think about how to return the attention and love of her husband, if she herself does not have such feelings. And no, it is impossible that "but let him take steps first, he's a man." Psychologists say that you are responsible only for yourself, therefore, if you really want to return your husband's love, you should consider in him a person, a person, and love this person. And you can't return what was not there, especially love.

So, how to return the love of a husband to his wife? Psychologists believe that in order to return love, sometimes it is enough to analyze the following aspects:

self-perception;
self-development;
their behavior towards her husband.

Psychologists also note that this list is hierarchical - from first comes the second, from the second - the third.

Self-perception

Think that there is you for you. How do you perceive yourself. Why are you.

Psychologists use these three key questions to determine a woman's self-esteem, her love for herself. Therefore, psychologists advise using a very simple test. Take a piece of paper and write 5-10 points for each such question.

What / who are you?

Pay attention to the exact words you used to describe yourself - they will indicate your priorities.

If you first of all wrote that you are a woman, then yours is fundamental for you. gender... It is quite possible that you are arguing with this many of your own and others' actions. Such people tend to share housework, occupation, mindset, etc. into female and male.

Think, do you have any gender bias? Didn't it happen that someone imposed their own concept of a woman on you, putting it in the foreground, and you didn't have enough willpower / desire to bend your line?

If you have noted yourself as a person with a specific occupation ("artist", "teacher", "ballerina", "scientist"), your emphasis is more on realizing your potential. Think, are you sacrificing something very important for the sake of the business that you have chosen for yourself as the main one?

Going forward in your business is great, but psychologists believe that everything should be in moderation. Love cannot be returned if there is no time for it.

Does it not happen when you brush aside your needs and loved ones in order to complete a project or assignment?

Psychologists believe that if a woman chooses a pretentious answer to this question ("goddess", "work of art", "perfection", " True Woman"Etc.), there are clear demonstrative or hysterical elements in her behavior. Such ladies are prone to theatrical reaction to many events, as well as manipulation. As psychologists note, it is quite problematic to return love with such a “show”.

What are you?

These descriptions, according to psychologists, also speak very eloquently about your self-esteem.

If you described more external data ("tall", "beautiful", "blonde", "large"), psychologists may come to the conclusion that:

you are a visual - you get most of the information with the help of a visual analyzer;
the attractiveness of your partner is really important to you;
when conquering someone, you place more bets on your appearance.

Women who described some of their own functional characteristics ("Hardworking", "quick", "hardy"), are characterized by psychologists as pragmatic. They:

prefer the practice of theory;
perceive dreamy people as an inferior and infantile class;
they do not like typical gifts with a taste of candy romance - they are banal, stupid and boring.

According to psychologists, the ladies who most described their own emotional component ("Cheerful", "irritable", "harmonious"), characterized by:

good intuition and empathy;
the predominance of sensory perception over intellectual;
focus on your perception of situations;
kinesthetic type of the representational system - they receive information using tactile sensations.

If you described personal, including volitional character traits ("purposeful", "decisive", "assiduous"), then, according to psychologists, you tend to:

independence and self-sufficiency;
selfishness;
work for the result.

Why are you?

The answer to this question, according to the opinion of practicing psychologists, helps to determine the goals and priorities. You wrote what you need to realize yourself in. Someone wants to become a professional in a certain field, someone wants to raise brilliant children, for some it is more important to create a masterpiece on a global scale or make a shocking discovery. Someone just wants love.

Highly important detail: if you have a clear preponderance towards life for the sake of someone / something, pull yourself together!

Psychologists do not get tired of repeating that the renunciation of one's own "I", of one's nature, testifies to the lack of love for oneself as a person. This leads to negative changes in many relationships, including love.

Self-development

Remember the last time you tried to master something. And not just to master, but to master for yourself. Not for beauty, not for status or a partner, but in order to grow in your own eyes and learn something.

Psychologists believe that if you do not remember or if you stopped your personal growth, problems will start to creep out on every front. If you do not develop on your own, love cannot be returned.

Behavior

According to psychologists, the most frequent pathological behavior in the family is the infantility of one person + the custody of the other. Pairs "son-mother" or "father-daughter" are formed. Psychologists view this as a codependent relationship, initially doomed to failure.

For “son-mother” couples, the childish irresponsible behavior of the husband-son is typical, which is accompanied by the all-forgiving care of the wife-mother. These husbands are characterized by:

demand for attention, company;
inability to make a decision on your own;
an indication that someone owes something to someone;
manipulations to get what you want.

eternal craving to do something for her husband;
obsession;
tendency to be offended;
appeal to conscience.

Father-daughter pairs are characterized by the opposite distribution of roles. The husband-father takes over the role of the wife, and the wife-daughter remains a sweet princess with a Barbie doll. Such husbands tend to:

the desire to educate, scold his wife;
control over the activities of the wife;
emphasizing the wife's dependence on him.

The wives of this couple are characterized by the following:

the tendency to be capricious;
irresponsibility;
demanding abstract care and understanding.

How to rekindle old passion in a relationship?

That is, there was passion, but due to some reason it began to decline. The beauty of this is that you already have that experience that can tell you how to return old love husband.

Before wondering how to rekindle passion and return your husband's love, remember when you truly wanted sex.

And if you think for yourself and develop for yourself, as well as have sex purely for your own pleasure, you will no longer care about how to regain your former passion. And a man's love will flare up even more if he feels that you are enjoying the process itself, and not your own false selflessness "for the good of others." This “for good” destroys families, and it is often impossible to return love.

A separate group includes wives who have sex with their husbands solely for his pleasure. The couple is having sex, not the husband! The husband will receive his own in 97% of the outcome! Think about yourself!

So how do you get passion back into your relationship with your husband? Practicing psychologists believe that one should:

to rethink your attitude towards your husband as a person - appearance by appearance, and excitement, like love, arises in the brain (where it needs to be returned), and not in the genitals;
and your attractiveness - if you walk around the house stooped, with dirty hair and in a shabby dressing gown, it is not surprising that the husband's enthusiasm for you is somewhat difficult to return;
overcome shyness and social inhibitions by discussing the issue of sex with your husband - with whom else to discuss this, if not with him?
love experiments and use them in your everyday life - diversity will be a manifestation of your interest in this area, so it will be easier to return passion and love;
pay attention to your own feelings during lovemaking and do not get hung up on returning passion and pleasing your husband - sex for two.

More pragmatic advice from psychologists and psychotherapists on how to return the husband's passion and love is as follows:

Learn to undress beautifully and gracefully - this is very exciting for about 40% of men.
About 60% of men love elegant lace lingerie on their wives - buy several sets at different cases life to bring the spice back to your closeness.
Do not be afraid to signal that you feel good: if you want to moan, moan, if you want to breathe, breathe. Don't hold yourself back. It is important for a man to clearly record your positive reaction to his activity.
Remember that 65% of men prefer alternating between traditional sex and oral sex.
There are very few psychics among men. In order for him to understand your desires, it would be best to direct your husband's hand to right place... In some cases, you can just say, but most men prefer the first option.
Be dynamic - the Puritan days are long gone and you don't have to stay in a stable supine position in a long nightgown.
Accustom yourself to arch your back. It is beautiful.

How to increase interest in yourself after the birth of a child?

It should be remembered that within 1 month after the birth of the baby, not only psychologists, but also gynecologists recommend refraining from making love. Psychologists pay attention to the fact that this time is the phase of adaptation of the husband and wife to the appearance of the baby, therefore the sensual part of their life together fades into the background.

During the period of breastfeeding, psychologists note the following nuance: if earlier chest was an object of adornment and pleasure for a man, now it does not belong to him, and the former priorities cannot be returned. And on an instinctive level, the husband understands this.

The period of the first year after the birth of a child, according to psychologists, is a test for empathy and family strength. Then okay sexual relations with her husband must balance and move to another level, and there is no need to artificially return them. Of course, love doesn't go anywhere.

It happens that the attitude of a husband to his wife after the birth of a child changes significantly.

This is often seen in:

couples who long time lived together without a child (more than 3 years);
couples who got married because of pregnancy;
families where a child with health problems is born.

The new responsibility obliges and frightens at the same time, therefore, after giving birth, many wives face the question of how to return passion to a relationship with a husband after the birth of a child.

Actually, how to return passion to the relationship between husband and wife, if another small family member has appeared? Psychologists advise the following:

Deal with your self-esteem. It must be returned! Yes, you have a child now, but you have not stopped being a man, you have not stopped being a woman who has a beloved husband. Remember this.
Clarify with my husband all these subtle nuances of your relationship - without this, well, there is no way to return love.
If suddenly you both have a fear that another cute screaming creature will appear at home, and then again and again, the solution is very banal and simple: use contraceptives.
Learn to rest. Sometimes not enough physical strength in order to make love, because there is not even a desire to return passion.

How to return love to your husband?

And yet, how to return the love of a husband to his wife? Psychologist's advice, as a rule, is based on a specific situation and is developed specifically, taking into account many factors. But any experienced psychologist will tell you that analyzing the aforementioned personality aspects can help bring feelings back. What should be done, according to psychologists, based on the findings, to return the spouse's love?

If you find new topics for thought when analyzing yourself, you should tackle this closely:

Do not tie any traits or antics to generally accepted labels, because a man leaves for another not because he is a man, but because he also lacks something.
Find a balance between all areas in which you are involved (family, love, work, education, creativity), and make sure that there is no strong preponderance in one direction.
Monitor your reaction to the usual conversations with your husband: if something causes melancholy, irritation, or some other kind negative emotions, you should think about the reason that hurts you.
Learn to respect other people's opinions: you and your husband may have different positions on the same issues, this is normal.
Set your priorities in such a way that you can pay attention to yourself and interact with your husband - so that there is time for what you so want to return.
If you get confused, do not be afraid to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Start doing yourself for yourself, not for others:

Find the activity that you like, and not fashion / girlfriends / husband, etc .;
Stop using lack of time and money as an excuse.

When analyzing your own behavior with your husband, in order to return his love, you should:

Break out of vicious circle "Boss-subordinate" ("son-mother", "father-daughter") and behave like a person who respects other people's boundaries and interests (if it's really hard with this, an experienced practicing psychologist will help you "return yourself").
Get rid of addiction in a relationship with your husband - you are by different peoplewho made a strong-willed decision to develop together.
Learn to be self-reliant.
Letting the husband go, if he needs it - to work, to some events, from home. He is also a person, like you, who has the right to dispose of himself.

There is no universal way addition,. The advice of psychologists flashed like red threads at every point. It is noteworthy that an adequate psychologist will not recommend manipulating a man and forcing him to do something. Psychologists believe that before thinking about how to return love to her husband, the wife should engage in her own self-esteem and self-development.

In addition to the step-by-step analysis methods described above, psychologists recommend using tests based on archetypes and intuitive perception - drawings. Psychologists pay attention to different elements drawing, each of which denotes a particular area of \u200b\u200byour perception.

A popular test that determines emotional condition human is the test "Non-existent animal". Colored pencils should be used to ensure that the test is interpreted as accurately as possible. Help is needed to properly understand the results of this test. experienced psychologist or a psychotherapist who will assess the overall emotional background the client, his tendencies, and can also diagnose some changes and accents in sexual behavior.

A similar test is the "Lamb in a Bottle", which helps the psychologist to determine the client's attitude to external environment, to society, to love.

In some situations, a psychologist may not give a general answer, but one that suits your situation. But then the psychologist needs to understand your relationship, which is not done on the Internet.

Useful video

Psychologists advise you to first decide what you want to return. If you are sure that your relationship is fading away, and you really want to return and keep love, then the game is worth the candle. So, how to return the former passion and love of your husband:

Conclusion

Psychologists believe that you can return your husband's love by analyzing your behavior, as well as by changing your attitude towards yourself. You can analyze both independently and with the help of some tests, which a psychologist will help to interpret.
Most psychologists advise you to spend with your husband straight Talk, which would dot all the "i".
It is necessary to engage in self-development - this is partly the answer to the question of how to return love. And the husband's interest in this way will be directed to you, as well as attraction.

In this article, you will learn how to bring passion back into a relationship, why love comes much later than passion, and why methods like “putting on lace lingerie” or “trying new positions” don't work. After reading the article, you will understand everything.

You can go straight from the content to ways to bring passion back into a relationship. But if you want to know where the passion has gone, read first.

I also shot a video on this topic:

What is love really?

If the child grew up in unhappy family and did not see real example mature family relationships, where mom and dad love, take care of each other and live happily, then such a child will not have an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat love is. Unfortunately, we cannot think of ourselves life experience, it is either there or it is not. And therefore, if a person did not have an example of adult mature relationships in front of his eyes, most likely, he will not be able to build them himself.

Such a child has the opportunity to learn about love only from films, books, songs. And there, as a rule, they show and talk only about falling in love - the first period of a relationship filled with vivid emotions, a surge in hormones, and the intensity of passions. And since the child has no other pictures, no other experience, he comes to the conclusion that this is love.

What happens when this child grows up and enters into a relationship? All that he can afford in a relationship is only that first interval when there is a surge of hormones, the so-called chemistry is born, when two are full of passion and fire.

As soon as this first period of relationship comes to an end, after 1-3 years of relationship, he says to himself: "It seems that love is gone." He doesn't have an answer to the question “what's next?” In his head, he has not seen or heard anywhere about what should be after the hormones have calmed down.

Most likely, he has a thought: "Relationship with this person is coming to an end, it's time to look for the next one." So, he may well afford this initial interval of relationships several times, with different people. But it never comes to love itself. Thus, a person loses the opportunity to enjoy a real adult relationship, not clouded by a surge of love. He closes for himself the opportunity to love truly.

Love is a feeling that goes through many stages of a relationship, and at each stage of love different definitions, different advantages, different identifying features. And a person who knows only the first stage of a relationship does not even come to love. In this sense, we can say about such a person that he is not an adult, infantile. Infantile people are unable to allow relationships to mature. They try to delay them in the initial phase and do everything so that the relationship does not develop further.

It's like trying to be a child for the rest of your life because a mature, adult life is not so fun and fulfilling. But have adulthood - their charms. Just like mature love.

How to bring passion back into a relationship - 3 ways

The word "passion" in itself is characteristic only for the first, candy-bouquet period of the relationship. True love is born just after the passion and hormonal surge subside. About where it begins true love, read the next subheading.

In the meantime - about the ways to return vivid emotions to relationships. You've probably already heard of these simple methods, as: romantic dates, sex in a hotel, sexual experiments, lace underwear. This is definitely good ways stir up relationships. But these are external, artificial methods maintaining passion. We will talk about deeper, internal psychological methods.

So, here are 3 ways to refresh your relationship, make it less routine and bloom the flowers again in your married life:

Method # 1: Breaking the Template

One of the reasons for discord in long-term relationships is the desire to merge, the desire to constantly be together. A similar desire - frequent occurrence at the beginning of a relationship, but over time, the desire to be together all the time gives the opposite, negative effect. Therefore, one of the most important ways to maintain bright emotions in a relationship is separation. Try, for the sake of experiment, for example, sleep in different beds or at least under different blankets. Another magical way to return passion is separation. You can go somewhere for a week or let your partner do it. When partners are not available to each other for some time, and especially when they are kilometers apart, dissatisfaction with the inability to see each other intensifies feelings.

If you are afraid to let your partner go to another city or even under a different blanket, you probably do not trust him, or you have an addiction. How to work with dependent relationships, read this.

Obviously, there are many benefits to being temporarily separated or sleeping in different rooms. After all, sleeping under one blanket over the years turns marriage and conjugal duty into a routine, into a duty. Separation or separation at night will give you a different perspective on your relationship for the first time in years and will likely increase your desire for intimacy. Dissatisfaction with changing patterns will revive or intensify your cravings.

Passion burns in relationships that have both intimacy and autonomy. And it is desirable to maintain a balance between them.

Method # 2: Sexual candor

This method helps partners not only to increase the attraction between them, but also to get closer to a qualitatively new level. With help this method you can feel each other as yourself.

The method is as follows. Start exploring yourself during intimacy... Concentrate on your own feelings, identify them in the body and describe them aloud. You can talk to your partner about your feelings, linking them with other pictures, associations, possibly memories, with everything that comes to mind. And just try to describe how you feel during foreplay and, if possible, during sex.

This frankness will help you explore your own feelings and feelings of a partner. It is an incredibly sweet intimacy, a moment in which the presence and immersion in a partner helps to dive into the depths of oneself.

Perhaps for the first time during intimacy, both of you will be one hundred percent in the present and think only about each other and about the feelings of each. This type of intimacy requires deep inner work, and this will not be done right away. You will need to get in deep contact with yourself.

This method has obvious condition - Your partner should also be seriously interested in experimenting with sexual frankness. Both of you should learn to describe your feelings without shame in the course of intimacy. It is not easy. But the effect of this method is undeniable - you get to know yourself and your partner through the description of your experience.

If you think your partner will not like given idea, start gently, gradually introduce this practice into your intimate relationship... Over and over again, slowly your partner will also join this game, and you will learn to communicate verbally in body language. This method will give you the opportunity to move towards your present self, increasing your awareness through closeness with another person. And your sex life will be completely different and will turn 180 degrees.

It won't be easy at first, but with experience, this kind of intimacy will create a tremendous bond between you and heighten your feelings for each other.

Method # 3: Passion for yourself

Our life is a mirror. When you want to quarrel with someone - in fact, you are quarreling with yourself. When you want to do a good deed for someone, you are doing a good deed for yourself. Infantilism in relationships, which we talked about in the foreword, is usually accompanied by the thought: “He is not what he was before. I want who he was in the beginning. " This is a childish position. No, do not try to live in the illusion that it is the other's fault. You are already an adult, take responsibility for yourself.

If you want to fill your relationship with passion - fill yourself and your life with passion. What you want to receive from a partner, you must first of all be able to give yourself. How do you feel about yourself? Do you love yourself? Start loving here. Is your life full of passion or gloomy and boring? Make life boil. Live in pleasure. And I'm not talking about putting on makeup, taking a bath, doing pleasant shopping to myself. This is also important, but as with the hotel and lace underwear, these are external, artificial ways, unable to influence a deep inner attitude towards oneself.

Light yourself up from the inside out. Start with the body. Do what you really enjoy. Fitness, yoga, swimming, dancing, running. Find what is close to you. Working with the body will give you a lot of energy and fill you with the hormone of joy.

Are you passionate about what you do? If not, change it. Find something you like and enjoy. This is the key to having passion for everything. If you don't want to change your job, change your attitude towards it. Find what you like in it and keep your focus on those things only. Come to work for them. And in free time find an activity that brings you true enjoyment. Living in pleasure with yourself, you will inevitably experience pleasure in a relationship.

And don't forget to download my book, How to Love Yourself. In it, I collected the most proven techniques with the help of which I myself once raised my self-esteem, became confident and loved myself. This book will help you fill your life with passion, and also make it happy in general!

You have learned three ways to bring intense emotions back into a routine relationship. They work on a deep psychological level, and if you treat them superficially, they will only work superficially. Did you want to bring passion back into the relationship? This can only be done by deep work... Lacy linen and a night at the hotel will only do the trick for a couple of evenings. And the proposed methods can fill your relationship with emotions for a lifetime.

Now let's find out why, when passion ends, love is still far away. And about what begins in the relationship after the candy-bouquet period.

Where love begins - 7 stages of a relationship

Relationships go through seven stages (not to be confused with crises!), And love begins at the very end. So, there are seven stages that any relationship inevitably goes through:

Stage # 1: Falling in love

It's that sweet candy-bouquet period, which is popularly called love. Poems have been composed about him, songs have been sung, films have been made and books have been written. During this period, the mind is clouded by a surge of hormones, you are in euphoria and are not able to take a sound and objective look at your partner. This period lasts 1-3 years. The longer you don't live together, the longer it lasts.

Stage # 2: Sated

Lapping is over and you can see that your partner has flaws. Usually at this stage you already start thinking: “How to get passion back into a relationship? It seems that love has passed. " But in fact, it is still very far away! As a rule, the second stage occurs after the two begin to live together. Now you not only notice the flaws, but you can also see them up close. This is the time of the first disappointments.

Stage # 3: Disgust

Most couples disagree at this stage. This is the beginning of the first quarrels, accompanied by a focus on the partner's shortcomings. It may seem to you that there is absolutely nothing good in it. To get past this period and move on, remember the mirror rule. Any conflict with another person is always, absolutely always a conflict with oneself. Every time you feel like having a fight, first think about why you want to fight with yourself? What need of yours did you not satisfy?

Read about how to quarrel correctly so that the conflict only leads to the development of relations in this one.

Stage # 4: Patience

Calm, only calm. You have already passed the most difficult stage, the stage of disgust, which means that your relationship may well last a lifetime. Or at least twenty years. In the patience phase, you both learn to be more relaxed about each other's shortcomings and put up with some of them. Your relationship is developing and will soon become love. You are already great!

Stage # 5: Respect

Finally, you begin to understand that relationships are built on the efforts of both, and learn to make your own efforts to maintain them. Not everyone gets to this stage. Moreover, many couples live their entire lives in the previous stage. Most people never think about working on themselves, do not shift the focus of attention to themselves. Such people think that everyone around them owes them and everyone else is to blame. But those who decide to grow up and take responsibility for conflicts on themselves, reach this stage and understand what love is.

At this stage, people begin to pay attention to what their partner wants. And they try to satisfy each other's needs.

Stage # 6: Friendship

You have learned to understand each other, support, communicate. You are really good together. You trust and are grateful for many things to your partner. You have learned to please each other. You have become dear to each other. Your partner is your true friend.

Stage # 7: Love

Congratulations! You have reached the finish line. And at the finish line, love begins. To reach it, you need to be mature people. Learn to quarrel correctly, listen to each other. Then - begin to satisfy the needs of the other. Then make friends. Throughout these stages, you learn to serve one another. If you can pacify your pride and begin to serve your partner, then only then can love gradually come into your life.

The duration of the stages of the relationship for each couple is individual. The more mature and conscious people enter into a relationship, the faster they go through all the stages.

How to go through all seven stages, how to communicate, quarrel, give, receive, serve and thank correctly - read the articles about and about. Life is full time job above oneself. If you refuse to work, life will pass not at all the way you originally intended. So take it into your own hands.

Conclusion

You not only learned how to bring passion back into a relationship, but you also learned about all stages of a relationship. Passion can be returned or experienced again at any stage. True, it will be different, not the same as at the beginning, at the first stage. But this makes it no less pleasant.

Listen to each other and to yourself. Pay attention to where your grievances come from. Usually the reason is in ourselves. Serve, give thanks, listen to each other! And then passion until old age will not go anywhere from your relationship.

Don't forget to download my book, How to Love Yourself. In it I share the most effective technicians, with the help of which I myself once became confident and learned to love myself. This book will help you improve your relationship, and it will also help you make your life happy! After all, a favorable solution to any life task begins with self-love.

If you need individual help in building relationships, you can contact me for psychological help. I will help you build mature, happy and long term relationshipin which passion will burn with a bright fire until old age.

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Passionate life to you!
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova