Forming confrontuous communication of preschool children. Chatting "Communication without conflict. The rules of adult behavior when raising children

Age up to 2 years

Children do not feel apart from the world or from mom. They do not feel their "I". Everything is a single whole. But it continues for a short time. Having stepped over the year of life, the child begins to master the world. He tries his strength, mastering the space. But children continue to think that the world is spinning around them and do not understand why parents are no longer constantly near, more often they say "it is impossible." Do not think that the egoist is growing, requiring increased attention. This period will last long, so it is important to surround the baby with love, to show that the world is safe. It is necessary to gradually teach his independence.

Age 2-4 years

Two years later, perception surrounding validity undergoes strong changes. The desire to be independent increases: "I want", "I myself", etc. this is a period of experiencing a crisis. Two contradictions face: to be independent and obeying parents who are the standard. It develops, Mimic, gestures. This is the age when children imitate adults in everything. Parents should support the baby, help him become independent. No need to leave him one and do your affairs. He can play himself, but under supervision.

Introduction

In almost every group of kindergarten, a complex and sometimes dramatic picture of children's relationship is unfolded. Preschoolers are friends, quarrels, put together, offended, jealous, help each other, and sometimes make small "dirtyness". All these relationships are sharply experienced and carry a lot of varied emotions.

Parents and caregivers sometimes do not suspect that wide range of feelings and relationships that their children are experiencing, and, of course, do not give much child friendship, quarrels, offended. Meanwhile, the experience of the first relations with peers is the foundation on which the child's further development is being built. This first experience largely determines the nature of human attitude towards himself, to others, to the world as a whole. Not always this experience is successful.

Many children have already been formed in preschool age and fixes negative attitude to others that can have very sad remote consequences. On time to identify problem forms of interpersonal relationships and help the child to overcome them - the most important task of parents. For this you need to know age peculiarities Communication of children, the normal course of the development of communication with peers, as well as psychological reasons different problems In relations with other children.

Communication with peers has a number of essential features, qualitatively distinguish it from communicating with adults.

The first bright difference in communicating peers is its extremely bright emotional saturation. Elevated emotionality And the discharging of the contacts of preschoolers distinguishes them from interaction with adults. On average, the peers in communication is observed in 9-10 times more expressive-mimic manifestations expressing a variety of emotional states - from violent indignation to violent joy, from tenderness and sympathy to fight. Preschoolers more often approve of the peer and much more often come to conflict relationships with him than when interacting with adults.

Such a strong emotional saturation of the communication of children seems to be due to the fact that since the four years of age, the peer becomes more preferred and an attractive partner for communication. The significance of communication is higher in the sphere of interaction with the peer than with adults.

Other important feature Contacts of children lies in their non-standard and non-inflammatory. If in communicating with adults, even the smallest children hold defined forms Behavior, then when interacting with peers, preschoolers use the most unexpected and original actions and movements. These movements are characterized by special discrepancies, non-nominality, the odorlessness of any samples: the children jump, take bizarre poses, are curved, they are angry with each other, invent new words and non-residents, etc.

Such freedom, the non-inflammatoryness of adventure of preschoolers makes it possible to show its originality and its original beginning. If an adult carries culturally normalized samples of behavior for a child, the peers creates conditions for individual, non-nodrogram, free manifestations of the child. Naturally, with age, the contacts of children are increasingly obeying the generally accepted rules of behavior. However, the non-inflammatory and discharge of communication, the use of unpredictable and non-standard means remains distinctive feature child communication to the end of preschool age.

Another distinctive feature of communicating peers - the predominance of initiative action over response. This is especially brightly manifested in the inability to continue and develop a dialogue that disintegrates due to the lack of partner's response. For a child, its own act or statement is much more important, and the peer initiative is not supported in most cases. The initiative of adult children take and support about two times more often. The sensitivity to the effects of the partner is significantly less in the field of communicating with the peer than with adults. Such inconsistency of communicative actions of children often gives rise to conflicts, protests, resentment.

Listed features reflect the specifics of children's contacts throughout preschool age. However, the content of the communication of children varies significantly from three to six-seven years.

Throughout preschool age, the communication of children with each other varies significantly. In these changes, three qualitatively peculiar phases (or forms of communication) can be distinguished by preschoolers with peers.

The first one is emotional-practical (The second is the fourth years of life). In the younger preschool age, the child expects complication from the peer in his fun and craves self-expression. He is necessary and enough for the peers to join his shakes and, acting with him together or alternately, supported and strengthened the total fun. Each participant of such communication is concerned primarily in order to draw attention to himself and get the emotional response of the partner. Emotional-practical communication is extremely situationally - both in its content and by means of implementation. It depends entirely on the specific situation in which the interaction occurs, and on the partner's practical actions. It is characteristic that the introduction of an attractive subject in the situation can destroy the interaction of children: they switch attention to the peer on the subject or fights because of it. On the this stage Communication of children is not yet associated with objects or actions and separated from them.

For junior preschool children The most characteristic is an indifferent-friendly attitude towards another child. Three-year-old children, as a rule, are indifferent to the success of peers and to its assessment by an adult. At the same time, they, as a rule, easily solve the problematic situations "in favor of others: inferior in the game, give their items (however, their gifts are more often addressed to adults - parents or tutor than peers). All this may indicate that the peers still does not play a significant role in the child's life. Malysh seems to not notice the actions and states of peers. At the same time, its presence increases the overall emotionality and activity of the child. This is evidenced by the desire of children to emotionally practical interaction, imitation of peer movements. The ease with which three-year children are infected with common emotional states may indicate a special community with him, which is expressed in the detection of identical properties, things or actions. The child, "looking at the peer", as it would allocate specific properties in itself. But this community has a purely external, procedural and situational character.

The following form of peer communication - situational business. It adds to about four years and remains the most typical until the sixth year old. After four years in children (especially those who visit the kindergarten), the peers in its attractiveness begins to overtake an adult and take an increasing place in their lives. This age is a raying game period. At that time scene-role game It becomes collective - the children prefer to play together, and not alone. The main content of the communication of children in the mid-preschool age is business cooperation. Collaboration should be distinguished from complicity. In emotional and practical communication, the children acted nearby, but not together, they were important to the attention and complicity of peers. With a situational business communication, preschoolers are busy common businessThey must coordinate their actions and take into account the activity of their partner to achieve the general result. This kind of interaction was called cooperation. The need to cooperate peers becomes the main thing to communicate children.

In the middle of the preschool age there is a decisive fracture in relation to the peer. The picture of the interaction of children varies significantly.

"In the older preschool age, the emotional well-being of the child in the group of peers depends on either the ability to organize joint gaming activitiesor from success productive activity. Popular children have a high success in joint cognitive, labor and gaming activities. They are active, result oriented, expect a positive assessment. Children with unfavorable position in the group have low success in activities that cause them negative emotions, refusal to work. "

Along with the need for cooperation at this stage, the need for recognition and respect for peers is distinguished. The child seeks to attract the attention of others. It is sensitive in their views and facial expressions of attitudes towards himself, demonstrates insult in response to the inattention or reproaches of partners. "Invisibility" peers turns into close interest in everything that does. In four or five years, children often ask in adults about the successes of their comrades, demonstrate their advantages, try to hide their missions and failures from their peers. IN child Communication At this age, a competitive, competitive start appears. Successes and misses others acquire special meaning. In the process of playing or other activities, children intently and jealously watch the actions of peers and evaluate them. The reactions of children on the assessment of an adult also become more acute and emotional.

The successes of peers can cause the grievances of children, and its failures cause undisguised joy. At this age, the number of children's conflicts is significantly increasing, there are such phenomena as envy, jealousy, resentment to peer.

All this allows us to talk about the deep high-quality restructuring of the child's relationship to peers. Another child becomes the subject permanent comparison with myself. This comparison is not aimed at finding a community (like three-year olders), but to oppose itself and other, which reflects above all changes in the child's self-consciousness. Through a comparison with a peers, the child evaluates and claims itself as the owner of certain advantages that are not important in themselves, but "in the eyes of another." This other for the four-five-year-old child becomes a peer. All this generates numerous conflicts of children and such phenomena as boasting, demonstrativeness, competitiveness, etc. However, these phenomena can be viewed as age-related features of the five-year plan. To the older preschool age, the attitude to the peer is again significantly changing.

By six-seven years, the goodwill to peers and the ability to mutual aid is significantly increasing. Of course, a competitive, competitive start is preserved in the communication of children. However, along with this, the ability to see in the partner not only his situational manifestations, but some of his situational manifestations appear in communication psychological aspects His existence is his desires, preferences, moods. Preschoolers are no longer only talking about themselves, but also addresses to peer: what he wants to do what he likes, where he was, that he saw, etc. Their communication becomes incoming.

The development of incoming in communication of children occurs in two directions. On the one hand, the number of incoming contacts is increasing: children tell each other about where they were and what they saw, share their plans or preferences, give assessments to the qualities and actions of others. On the other hand, the image itself becomes more stable, independent of the specific circumstances of interaction. By the end of the preschool age, steady electoral attachments arise between children, the first friendship sprouts appear. Preschoolers are "going" in small groups (two to three people) and have an obvious preference to their friends. The child begins to allocate and feel the inner essence of another, which is not presented in situational manifestations of peer (in its specific actions, statements, toys), but it becomes more and more significant for the child.

By six years, emotional involvement in the activities and experiences of peers increase significantly. In most cases, senior preschoolers carefully monitor the actions of peer and emotionally included in them. Sometimes, even contrary to the rules of the game, they seek to help him, prompt the right move. If four-five-year children willingly follow the adults condemn the actions of the peer, then six-year, on the contrary, can be united with a friend in their "confrontation" by an adult. All this may indicate that the actions of senior preschoolers are directed not to a positive assessment of an adult and not to comply with moral norms, but directly to another child.

By six years, many children arise a direct and disinterested desire to help peers, to give him anything or yield. Greater, envy, competitiveness is less common and not so acute, both at a five-year-old age. Many children are already able to empathize both successes and the failures of the peer. All this may indicate that the peers becomes for a child not only a means of self-affirmation and the subject of comparison with him, not only a preferred partner, but also self-concrete personality, important and interesting, regardless of their achievements and items.

Such is B. general features The age logic of the development of communication and attitude towards peers in preschool age. However, it is not always implemented in the development of specific children. It is widely known that there are significant individual differences in relation to the child to peers, which largely determine his well-being, the situation among others and ultimately the features of the formation of the personality. Special alarm causes problem forms of interpersonal relationships.

Among the most typical preschoolers of conflict relationships to peers are increased aggressiveness, syntitude, shyness and demonstration of preschoolers. Let us dwell on them.

Problem forms of attitude to peers

Aggressive children. Increased aggressiveness of children is one of the most frequent problems In the children's team. She worries not only teachers, but also parents. Those or other forms of aggression are characteristic of most preschoolers. Almost all children quarrel, fight, call, etc. Usually, with the assimilation of the rules and norms of behavior, these direct manifestations of children's aggressiveness are inferior to other, more peaceful forms of behavior. However, in a certain category of children, aggression as a stable form of behavior is not only persisted, but also develops, transforming into sustainable personality quality. As a result, the productive potential of the child decreases, the possibilities of full-fledged communication are narrowed, its deforms personal development. Aggressive child brings a lot of problems not only by others, but also to itself.

Thinking children. Among all the problem forms of interpersonal relationships, such a heavy experience occupies a special place, as an insult on others. Sugarness poisoning life and man himself, and his loved ones. It is not easy to cope with this painful reaction. Unrecognized insults They destroy friendship, lead to the accumulation of both explicit and hidden conflicts in the family and ultimately deform the personality of a person.

Shy children. Shyness is one of the most common and most complex problems of interpersonal relationships. It is known that the shyness generates a number of significant difficulties in communicating people and in their relationship. Among them, such as the problem to get acquainted with new people, negative emotional states during communication, difficulties in expressing their opinion, excessive restraint, ineptly submission of themselves, stiffness in the presence of other people, etc.

Demonstrative children. Comparison of yourself with a peer and demonstration of their advantages are natural and necessary for the development of interpersonal relations: only opposing himself to peers and highlighting their I, the child may return to the peers and perceive it as a holistic, self-fledged personality. However, the demonstration often develops into personal feature, a trait of character that brings a lot of negative experiences to a person. The main motive of the actions of the child is the positive assessment of the surrounding, with the help of which he satisfies its own need for self-affirmation. Even making a good act, the child does it not for the sake of another, but in order to demonstrate those surrounding his own kindness. Possession of attractive objects is also traditional form demonstrations of own i. How often, receiving as a gift beautiful toy, Children carry it to kindergarten not to play it with others, but to show, boast.

For the development of full-fledged communication of children, for the formation of humane relations between them is not enough simple for other children and toys. By itself, the experience of visiting kindergarten or nursery does not give a significant "increase" to social Development Children. So, it was discovered that children from children's househaving unlimited possibilities of communication with each other, but brought up in a shortage of communication with adults, contacts with peers are poor, primitive and monotonous. These children are usually not capable of empathy, mutual assistance, an independent organization of meaningful communication. For these most important abilities, the right, targeted organization of child communication is needed.

However, what kind of influence should adult in order for the interaction of children to develop successfully?

In the younger preschool age, two ways are possible, firstly, this is the organization of joint activities of children; Secondly, this is the formation of their subject interaction. Psychological studies show that for junior preschoolers, subject interaction turns out to be ineffective. Children focus on their toys and are mainly engaged in their individual game. Their initiative appeals to each other are reduced to attempts to take away attractive peer items. They are either responding to the requests and appeal of the peers, or not responding at all. Interest in toys, which is peculiar to the children of this age, prevents the child to "see" the peer. The toy, as it were, "closes" the human qualities of another child.

The second way is much more effective in which the adult is setting up relations between children, attracts their attention to the subject's subject qualities: demonstrates the advantages of peers, gently calls it by name, praises a partner, proposes to repeat his actions due to such influences of an adult increases The interest of children to each other, appear emotionally colored actions addressed to the peer. It is an adult helps the child to "open" peers and see in it the same creature as he himself.

One of the most effective forms The subject interaction of children is joint dance games for kids in which they act simultaneously and equally (loaf, carousel dr.). The absence of objects and competitive starts in such games, the commonality of actions and emotional experiences create a special atmosphere of unity with peers and the proximity of children, which favorably affects the development of communication and interpersonal relations.

However, what if the child clearly demonstrates any problematic forms of attitude to peers: if he offends others, or is constantly offended himself, or is the peers afraid?

Immediately it should be said that explanations, as needed to behave, positive examples, and even more so punishment for incorrect attitude People's peers are ineffective for preschoolers (however, as for adults). The fact is that the attitude to other expresses the deep personal qualities of a person who cannot arbitrarily change at the request of the parents. At the same time, preschoolers have these qualities are not yet rigidly fixed and finally established. Therefore, at this stage you can overcome negative trendsbut this should be done not with the requirements and punishments, but by the organization own experience Child.

Obviously, humane attitude towards others is based on empathy ability, to sympathy, which is manifested in various life situations. So, it is necessary to bring up not only ideas about proper behavior or communicative skills, but above all moral feelings that allow you to take and perceive other people's difficulties and joy as their own.

The most common method of forming social and moral feelings The awareness of emotional states, peculiar reflection, enrichment of the emotion dictionary, mastering a peculiar "alphabet of feelings" is considered. The main method of upbringing moral feelings in both domestic and in foreign pedagogy It is awareness of his experiences, knowledge of themselves and comparison with others. Children teach talk about their own experiences, compare their qualities with the qualities of others, to recognize and call emotions. However, all these techniques focus the child's attention to itself, their advantages and achievements. Children teach to listen to themselves, call their states and sentiment, understand their qualities and their advantages. It is assumed that the child, confident, well understanding his experiences, can easily stand up on the position of the other and divide his experiences. However, these assumptions are not justified. The feeling and awareness of their pain (both physical and spiritual) does not always lead to empathous pain, and the high assessment of their advantages in most cases does not contribute to the equal assessment of others.

In this regard, there is a need for new approaches to the formation of relations of preschoolers. The main strategy of this formation should be not the reflection of its experiences and not to strengthen their self-assessment, but, on the contrary, the removal of fixation on its own, by the development of attention to another, feelings of community and involvement with him.

IN lately The formation of positive self-esteem, the promotion and recognition of the advantages of the child are the main methods of social and moral education. This method relies on the confidence that positive self-assessment and reflection ensure the emotional comfort of the child, contribute to the development of his personality and interpersonal relationships. Such education is aimed at self-improvement and reinforcement of its positive assessment. As a result, the child begins to perceive and worry only himself and the attitude towards him from others. And this, as shown above, is the source of the majority of problem forms of interpersonal relationships.

As a result, the peers often begins to be perceived not as an equal partner, but as a competitor and the opponent, all this generates separation between children, while the main task Education is the formation of generality and unity with others. Education strategy should assume compete and, therefore, evaluations. Any assessment (both negative and positive) focuses the attention of the child on their own positive and negative qualities, on the advantages and disadvantages of the other and as a result, provokes a comparison of yourself with others. All this gives rise to the desire to "please" to the adult, asserted and does not contribute to the development of a sense of community with peers. Despite the evidence of this principle, it is difficult to implement in practice. Promotions and censures are firmly entered into traditional methods of education.

It is also necessary to abandon the competitive start in games and classes. Competitions, competitions, fights and competitions are very common and widely used in practice. pre-school education. However, all these games guide the attention of the child to their own qualities and dignity, give rise to bright demonstration, competitiveness, orientation to the assessment of others and ultimately disunity with peers. That is why for the formation of friendly relations to peers, it is desirable to eliminate games containing competitive moments and any forms of competitiveness.

Often numerous quarrels and conflicts arise on the soil of possessing toys. As practice shows, the appearance in the game of any subject distracts children from direct communication, in the peer, the child begins to see the applicant for an attractive toy, and not interesting partner. In this regard, in the first stages of the formation of humane relations, it is possible to refuse to use toys and objects if possible, in order to maximize the child's attention to the peers.

Another reason for quarrels and conflicts of children is verbal aggression (all sorts of "teasers", "names", etc.). If a positive emotions the child can express expressively (smile, laughter, gesture), then the most common and simple way The manifestations of negative emotions are verbal expression (cursing, complaints). Therefore, the development of humane feelings should minimize speech interaction Children. Instead, symbols, expressive movements, faulty, gestures, etc. can be used as means of communication.

Thus, the upbringing of humane relations should be based on the following principles.

1. Accountability. Any assessment (even positive) contributes to the fixation on own qualities, advantages and disadvantages. This is exactly what the restriction of the statement of the child's peer. Minimization of estimated judgments, the use of expression-mimic or gesturing tools of communication can contribute to the excreable interaction.

2. Refusal to real objects and toys. As practice shows, the appearance of any items in the game distracts children from direct interaction. Children begin to communicate "Regarding" of something, and communication itself becomes not the goal, but the means of interaction.

3. Lack of competitive start in games.

Since the fixation of their own qualities and advantages generates bright demonstration, competitiveness and orientation to assess the surrounding, it is better to eliminate games and classes provoking children to manifest data of reactions.

The main goal is to form a community with others and the opportunity to see friends and partners in the peers. The feeling of community and the ability to "see" the other are the foundation on which humane attitude towards people is being built. It is this attitude that gives rise to sympathy, empathy, coating and assistance.

Formation of conflict communication in children of preschool age

Introduction

1. Features of communication of preschoolers with peers

2. Development of communications with peers in preschool age

3. Formation of a benevolent attitude to peers

Conclusion

Literature

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2. Zinchenko, L. Try to negotiate: Organization of communication of children in small groups / L. Zinchenko // Preschool education. – 2001.
3. Preschooler / L. A. Abramyan game, T. V. Antonova et al.; Ed. S. L. Novoselova.-M.: Enlightenment, 1989.
4. Kozlova S.A., Kulikova TA Preschool pedagogy. - M.: Academy, 2000.
5. Miklyaeva N.V. Preschool pedagogy. Theoretical-Methodical Basics correctional pedagogy: studies. Manual for students Higher. and media. studies. Entities / N.V. Miklyaev, Yu.V. Miklyaev; under. ed. IN AND. Seliverstov. - M.: Vlados, 2008.

6. Panfilova M.F. Games of communication. - M.: Inteltech LLP, 1995.

* Topic: "Formation of conflict communication skills in children of senior preschool age" Author: Musalamova Svetlana Stanislavovna MDOU combined species D / s №140 Yaroslavl 2013 * Explanatory note of humanistic transformations occurring in all spheres of our society and Russian education, actualize the need to rethink the essence of the process of upbringing, finding new approaches to the education of preschoolers who contribute to the most complete development of children. To date, one of the leading priorities in education is the communicative orientation of the educational process. In almost every group of kindergarten, a complex and sometimes dramatic picture of children's relationship is unfolded. Preschoolers are friends, quarrels, put together, offended, jealous, help each other, and sometimes make small "dirtyness". The desire to influence the formation and assimction of children of conflict communication skills, determined the purpose and objectives of the project. The purpose of the program: the provision of psychological - pedagogical assistance to children of 5-6 years in the formation of interpersonal skills, learning to exit conflict situations. * Tasks: Teach children ways to manage their own behavior (loss of tension, deliverance from anger, irritability) to develop the skills of conflict-free interaction (resolution of conflict situations), mastering a variety of shapes Communication with peers. To acquaint children with the characteristic of emotional states inherent in a person, to learn to recognize them in external signals (facial expressions, gestures, etc.) to develop in children the ability to understand the emotional state of the other and the ability to express their own. To form an adequate attitude towards yourself and others. Help in overcoming negative experiences, contribute to improving self-confidence. Adjust the behavior of children with role-playing games, form ideas about morality. * Planned results: Children are able to:  Recognize the emotional states of another person and their own;  Constructively solve the problematic situations arising in joint activities;  Find a way out of the conflict situation. Category of children involved in the project: Subgroup of children (6 people). The set in the group was carried out on the basis of data obtained by observing the children in free activityDuring educational activities and on the basis of the results of diagnostic surveys in order to identify conflict children who are not able to manage their own behavior, with inconsected interpersonal skills. Program validity period: 1 year * Forms and methods of work: Pedagogical work is organized in direct educational activities, in mode Moments, in independent activities of children. •              Exercises (creative and consistently executive nature); Games with rules: plot-role, verbal, movable, musical; Creative games: plot role, dramatization games; didactic, educational games; Reading artwork; conversations; mini contests; modeling and analysis of the specified situations; essay of stories; free and thematic drawing; Relaxation exercises (using poems, record sounds of nature, classical music). View and analyze animated films with subsequent modeling of new versions; Examples of expressing their emotional state in music. * Diagnostic monitoring Projective techniques: "Captain of the Ship"; "Two houses" (author of Panfilov); "Pictures" (by Smirnova E.O.); "Finish the story" (from the allowance Kalinina R.R. "Training of the development of the identity of the preschooler" - SPb., Speech, 2002-p.114). Mastering the content of software in the educational region "Communication" and "Socialization" (5-6 years); Diagnostics "Formation of integrative qualities of children of the sixth year of life"; Diagnostic results (summary table) * Content of work on the program * 1 stage - "Communication without words": familiarization of children with the characteristic of emotional states, the development of the ability to recognize and understand the emotional state of another person and the ability to express their own. Work forms. Games (for example, "Greeting", "Mirror", "Life in the Forest", "Rebeling toys", "Theater of Shadows"), examples of the expression of their emotional state in music, exercises (creative and amateur-performing character. * 2 Stage - "Consistency of actions": the development of the ability to coherence the movements of children, the ability to focus on the partner, act with the needs and behavior of others. Work forms. Specially organized plot - role-playing gamesreading fiction, gaming exercises (For example, a "spoiled phone", "I will start, and you will continue", "Sorry-skin"), modeling and analysis of the specified situations, conversations. * Contents of work on the project * 3 Stage - "Common experiences": Development of the ability of children to experience common emotions, generate a feeling of intimacy. Work forms. Games (for example, "who is funnier laughed", "who is the most angry"), mini-contests, relaxation exercises (using poems, records of nature sounds, classical music), reading art works. * 4 Stage - "Mutual assistance in the game": Development of the ability of children to assist each other and support in "difficult" game situations, ability to empathize and coat. Work forms. Specially organized didactic, plot - role-playing games, modeling problem situations, games - dramatization, conversations, mini contests * Contents of the project * 5 Stage - "Assistance in joint activities": Development of the ability to help each other, share, provide real help. Work forms. Games with rules (plot-role, verbal, mobile, musical), reading art works, essay of stories, mini - contests, specially organized plot - role-playing games, games - dramatization, joint thematic and free drawing. Integration of specialists voster; Shologist; Logoped; musical head; ORDERS. * References 1. Arcishevskaya I. L. Work of a psychologist with hyperactive children in kindergarten. - M.: Klebolyub, 2003. - 56c. 2. Boguslavskaya Z.M., Smirnova E.O. Tell me poems with hands. - M., 1994. 3. Vedernikova T.V. Training of senior preschoolers in the skills of conflictial interaction. // Pedagogue directory - psychologist. 2013, №2 - p.29 4. Druzhinin V.N. Family Psychology. - M.: KSP 1996. - 158 p. 5. Kalinina R.R. Training the development of the identity of the preschooler. - S.-PB.: Speech, 2002. - 157c. 6. Klyueva N. V., Kasatkinina Yu. V. We teach children to communicate. Character, sociability. Popular benefit for parents and teachers. - Yaroslavl: Academy of Development, 1997. -240c. 7. Knyazeva O.L. I - you - we. The program of socio-emotional development of preschoolers. - M.: Mosaic-Synthesis, 2003. - 168C. 8. Kolesnik N. T. Effect of features family education On the social adaptation of children: author. Dis. Cand. Ped. Science - M., 1999. - 15c. 9. Minaeva V. M. Development of emotions of preschoolers. Classes. Games. Manual for practical workers of preschool institutions. -M.: Arcta, 2001. - 48C. 10. Nifontova O. V. Psychological peculiarities Formation of the readiness of children of the children of the Emplook age to a positive resolution of conflict situations: author. Dis. Cand. Ped. Science - Kursk. 1999. - 16C. 11. Pazukhina I. A .. Let's get acquainted! Training Development and Correction emotional world Preschoolers 4 - 6 years old: allowance of practical workers of kindergartens. - St. Petersburg: Childhood - Press, 2004. - 272 p. 12. Panfilova M. A. Games Messages: Tests and correctional games. Practical manual For psychologists, teachers and parents. - M.: Publishing House Gnome and D, 2000. - 160c. 13. Oliveness L. Alphabet sentiment. // hoop. 2002, №3 - p.26. 14. Smirnova E.O., Kholmogorova V.M. Interpersonal relations of preschoolers: diagnostics, problems, correction. - M.: Vlados, 2003. -160 p. 15. Shipitsina L. M., Festorrelskaya O. V., Voronova A. P., Nilova T. A. Azbuka Communication: Development of the Personality of the Child, Communication Skills with adults and peers. (For children from 3 to 6 years) - SPb.: Childhood-press, 2000. -384c. 16. Yakupova M., Netina E. Mood in the "mittens". // hoop. 2002.№3 - pp. 23-26. 17. Yakovleva N. Skinic care preschooler. - St. Petersburg: Valery SPD, 2001. - 112c

Today, our society puts the task of teachers, psychologists and parents: develop the ability to communicate with children, to understand the feelings of other people, sympathize with them, adequately react to complex situations, find a way out of conflicts, in general, teach children to manage their behavior.
Educators and teachers are more and more time to be restless, aggressive children, I establish increasingly strict orders, but this in turn leads to stiffness, restricting communication between teacher and children. As a result, children have less opportunity to master the communicative skills necessary for conflictial relations with the surrounding people.
I believe that conflicts arising in the children's team are easier to prevent than to resolve. The most promising conflict warning on early stages, i.e. at the stage of their origin. The task of adults is to see the signs of the emerging conflict, namely: clashes between children, disorder discipline, tapping, sticking, violation of the rules in games, alienation of a child from a group that has prolonged to find out the relationship, and try to prevent them. Adults working with children, it is important to pay attention to each of them and apply measures to prevent the brewing conflict, try to replace unwanted behavioral trends and rebuild them not by the ordinary order, but a psychological way.
I have developed a developing program, the purpose of which is the formation of interpersonal skills in children of senior preschool age, training their exit from conflict situations, increasing the competence of educators and parents in the organization of conflictful interaction of children.
To achieve this goal, the following tasks were delivered:
1. Teach children to manage their own behavior (remove tension, get rid of anger, irritability).
2. To teach the skills of conflictial interaction, development and enrichment of communication forms with peers.
3. To introduce children with the characteristic of emotional states inherent in a person, form the ability to recognize them in external signals (Mimic, gestures).
4. Develop in children the ability to understand the emotional state of the other and be able to express their own.
5. Improve self-esteem, self-confidence, form an adequate attitude to both yourself and to others.
In his classes I try to create a warm, sincere atmosphere, I spend them in gaming form According to a specific scheme consisting of several stages: preparatory, primary and final. IN preparatory stage I turn on the exercises for exemption from speech and muscle clamps, which give the ability to get rid of the tension and liberate: "joy", "bar", "repeat after me", "Mirror", "quarreled", "go, anger", "two Barna "," Silver Copytes" etc. The main stage of classes is aimed at the development of interpersonal communication, cohesion children's team, on formation adequate self-esteem and improving confidence in their abilities next games and exercises for removal of emotional tensions and aggressive manifestations: "On the bumps", "blind guide", "compliment", "Sorry-tree", "The wind blows on ...", "swearing vegetables", "Tsarevna -Nommyana", etc. At the final stage, an analysis of work with the statements of children about luck and failures during classes is carried out, changes that appeared in children are underlined.
In the process of classes and at the time of their end, I keep track of the effectiveness of the work through the assessment of changes in the behavior and activities of each pupil, its emotional well-being (the method of determining self-esteem "Who am I?") Through a comparison of the state of the child among peers before and after the work performed.
It should be noted that the program includes not only work with children, but also with parents and educators. Forms of work in psychological Enlightenment A varied: it's lectures, and conversations on the themes "Conflicts between preschoolers", "Let's live together!", "Emotions and feelings", "anxious child", "learn to communicate", as well as performances on methodical meetings, parental meetings, group I. individual consultations in this area. For educators, a workshop was developed by the workshop "Unconfluous interaction of preschool children", in which teachers expand the circle of methods and techniques for working with children to form the skills of resolving conflict situations.
To increase the educational experience of parents and their parental competence in the Dow, this form of work is used as a "round table", where we are considered and discussed openly actual problems Raising children. At the meeting " Round Table.»Those parents are invited, whose children visit correction classes and are trained in the skills of conflictial interaction. We are discussing the behavior of children, their emotional state before and after developing classes.
The effectiveness of the work being carried out is confirmed by the results of diagnosis and conversations with parents. Our work done on the training of senior preschoolers The skills of conflict-free interaction showed that the majority of children mastered the skills of the release of their conflict situations, they learned to engage in cooperation with peers, not conflict, to resolve artificially created conflict situations. In children, the circle of understanding of emotional states has expanded, more often, empathic manifestations in relation to others began to be observed.

Municipal pre-school educational institution Kindergarten №32

Basics of the organization of conflict communication of children and ways to resolve conflicts

Educator Morozova O.E.

2014.D.Nesterovo

Causes of conflict
Ways to resolve conflict

1. Insufficient development in the child game skills and skills
To prevent possible problem situations, it is important to teach a child to play

2. Quarrels due to toys
In the younger group should be as many identical toys as possible. It is necessary to awareness of adults the right of a child to property. It is impossible to call a child, a bad boy or a girl if he is not divided into a toy. The task of adults is to help children find an opportunity to negotiate with each other - play in turn, exchange one toy to another (no less interesting), switch to another game, etc.

3. Sorry because of the distribution of roles.

You can start the distribution from secondary roles, gradually reaching the main. In this case, more active children capture the roles proposed by the educator. Of course, this reception does not always work; Then use the setting of the sequence, count, lots.

4. Cares do not take into the game, so the roles are all distributed
Then you can suggest options for further continuing the game.
The adult shows an example of his own speech behavior in conflict, for example, "You're right, but", "You are both right, but everyone in your own way," let's think about how to do! ". Based on the imitation of the emotional dictionary of children to be replenished with words, phrases that give the right to argue, but not to humiliate themselves and the other.

5. It is important for the child that the teacher drew attention to his emotional state.
To clarify some conflict situations, it is important to "join" to the child, help him realize his feelings: "Probably, you really wanted," "Probably, you did not like. What and you wanted "
If the child is indignant or angry, it is necessary to help him cope with the attack of negative emotions. This is possible if the teacher itself retains a calm emotional state. The stronger the children are, the more quiet and calm should be the voice of an adult.

6. The feet shows aggression
It is necessary to ensure each child the opportunity to respond different emotional experiences, safely for the kid himself and the people around him (hatching, writing the letter to the offender, laying out of plasticine, custoded battles). In some minor situations, you should ignore the aggressive actions of the preschooler, not to record the attention of others. You can distract or switch the attention of conflicting children to another object.

7. Acute confrontation of children
To interrupt immediately, prohibit a fight. Divide the dramuns, stand up between them, put everyone at the table or on the floor. It makes no sense to look for the right and guilty (pp .30).
An adult should think about why a fight arose between these children. (did not shake the toy, tired, offended or familiar reaction?).

8.Bequired Drachun
It makes no sense to punish Drachunov. When an adult punishes a naughty preschooler, his pranks fucked only for a short time or say: "I will no longer". Forgood prank repeated.

9.Theti show verbal aggression, teased peers
A vulnerable, sensitive child is convinced that it is not necessary to be upset at that moment. When you call you, use protective phrases. "Who called, that it is so called." "Fool", say in response, glad to meet you!.

10 yabedanica. Children are beyond when they want to have a hazardous child, there was trouble from an adult.
The purpose of adults is to send the activity of children to each other, for example: "You can not tell me about it, but Nikita" or "Talk about it with each other"

It is impossible to talk about the only correct, as well as the only erroneous strategy of the teacher's behavior in a conflict situation.