What are the moral rules of the family. Relationships built on friendship. Coercion - this method can be used if the subordinate does not respond to the above means

Perhaps everyone will agree that the person who has loving family. But it takes a lot of work to create it. Often young people are unaware of this when they get married. The time for dates is over, and the period of grinding begins. In order to have a favorable environment at home, it is better to formulate the rules of the family in advance, which all its members will subsequently adhere to.

Family is a team

A good team not only celebrates the successes of everyone, but also shares all the failures equally. If a husband gets a promotion at work, he should be praised, told him what a fine fellow he is, that he has achieved this. The child learned to read - he is also smart, because he tried a lot, and he succeeded. And even if the wife, the spouse, and the child have made a lot of efforts to achieve these successes, they still get the opportunity to be proud of themselves. This will help raise self-esteem, believe in your strength and significance.

If one of the family members fails, there is no need to scold and blame him, he is probably upset anyway. It is better to offer to think together about the problem and its possible solutions. You should use words like "we" and "our" instead of "your" and "mine" in your statements. After all, the family is a cell of society that unites spouses and their children.

family leader

Every team has a captain, and the family is no exception. But only one person can become a leader. If there are two of them, then the competition will begin, and even the solution of small domestic problems each time will end in scandal. Therefore, it is necessary to clearly decide who is in charge in the family. Husband and wife should consult with each other, discuss who will take on the role of leader. It is worth discussing its functions in advance. At the same time, the leader does not decide everything for everyone, but only makes a decision based on the suggestions and wishes of other family members.

Is the head of the family a man?

Previously, no one thought about who would be the head of the family. From time immemorial, it has been a man. It was his direct duty to provide the family with everything necessary. The woman kept family hearth took care of the house and the upbringing of the children. She received everything she needed to fulfill her tasks from the breadwinner, that is, from the man. The head of the family was responsible for everything and made the most important decisions. Today, this alignment suits many spouses, and they continue to adhere to it. On this occasion, there are no problems, and this does not prevent the family from being strong.

Can a woman be the leader?

Today, if a man proposes, this does not mean that he will unconditionally be the only economic support in the family. A woman can also perform this function. Often in modern families only children are dependents, and spouses provide for them. If a woman also earns, especially on a par with a man, then it becomes unclear who is in charge in the family. Here, not everything is as simple as with the old way.

According to sociological research, the primacy in the family belongs to the spouse who performs regulatory and administrative functions. Most of the time this is done by the woman. She plans family budget, organizes family consumption, deals with education and household chores. It turns out that today a woman becomes the main one in many respects, and not only in economic terms.

Who will be the head of the family?

It is worth noting that the concepts of “breadwinner” and “head of the family” are outdated. Moreover, they are absent in Civil Code and the Constitution. Today, more and more people characterize the marital union as a family without a head. That is, a man and a woman are equally involved in decision-making and household chores. Such relationships in the family prove that it is not at all necessary to appoint a head.

family responsibilities

Everyone in the family has their own responsibilities. If they are distributed unevenly, the spouses often have disagreements and conflicts. Such contradictions can be very sharp and lead to serious consequences - to dissatisfaction with marriage. However, you need to understand that the husband and wife will still not be happy if all duties are simply divided equally. It is important that they correspond to the inclinations and character of a person, then the eternal disputes about household chores will stop. Separation should suit everyone and look fair in the eyes of the spouses.

Any duty must be performed out of love and care for each other, and not because someone needs it and is so established by the rules of the family. Examples for clarity:

1. Everyone washes the dishes for himself, because it takes a lot of time for mom, and she wants to spend it with loved ones.

2. The husband stops by the grocery store because he is on his way, and in the meantime, the wife will already start preparing dinner. The main thing is that everyone understands why they do it.

No one owes nothing to nobody

It is wrong to reduce family obligations to the word "must." For example, “I work all day, and you just sit on your neck”, “I’m spinning around the house like a squirrel in a wheel”, “You are a husband, and I am waiting for romantic evenings about you.” You can list endlessly, such phrases are heard in many families.

You need to understand that no one owes anything to anyone. Such an idea simply needs to be included in the rules of the family. If you are tired, ask your loved ones for help. If love and care reign in the house, it will not be difficult for anyone to wash the dishes or throw out the trash instead of someone else. If you want romance, you don’t need to wait and demand it from your husband, it’s enough to organize a pleasant evening yourself.

Maintain the authority of a husband or wife

If there is a child in the family, the spouses must adhere to the same parenting strategy. Children feel and see the disagreements of their parents well, so they will begin to cheat, dodge and look for concessions. If you need to solve some issue of education, then you should do it for closed door. That is, the growing children should not hear anything. Then the children in the family will equally respect both mom and dad.

The same goes for discussing your other half outside the home. You can not talk with other people about the shortcomings of the spouse, especially after a quarrel. You will definitely make peace, and outsiders will have a negative opinion. In this case, the authority of the spouse will be undermined.

When a child is also not allowed to say nasty things about his mom or dad. Otherwise, he will assume that the “bad” parent is not at all obligatory to obey. Remember that in your spouses you have the most best person in the world, so his authority must be maintained. Make any decisions together. If you disagree with something, then discuss it only in private with each other.

All issues are discussed.

No need to wait for your spouse when he guesses about the problem. Maybe he doesn't even know about it. If you are tired or upset about something, be direct about it. The boss shouted - tell us about it yourself, and do not wait for questions. The carpet is dirty, and you no longer have the strength - ask your husband to vacuum, he himself may not guess.

Relationships in the family can only be built on communication. Therefore, make it a rule to discuss everything existing problems. Only this should be done without scandals, screams and reproaches, in a calm tone. It is categorically impossible to keep silent about something and withdraw into oneself, trying to get away from the conflict. Such behavior will only breed mutual misunderstanding and bring problems to the extreme.

No need to be silent, accumulate negativity and irritation. Talk about your thoughts and feelings openly. The more sincerely this is done, the easier it is to understand the causes of discontent. Just do not sort things out in a state of irritation or with a tipsy spouse. Better to wait more right moment to solve the problem.

Compromise is also an option.

A strong family is one that can resolve conflicts, not one that does not quarrel. Therefore, in disputes you do not need to stand your ground. The best way for a marital union - to reflect in the spirit of "won - won." That is, try to find a way out that will suit everyone, and not just one person.

For example, you started a renovation. One husband liked the floral wallpaper, and the other liked the striped wallpaper. No need to quarrel over this, look for a third option. Or you can paste over one half of the room with striped wallpaper, and make the other half into a flower. It turns out original design with zoning.

Don't try to change your other half

When discussing the rules of behavior in a family, it is worth mentioning that attempts to change a husband or wife will not lead to anything good. Many people hope that things will be different after marriage, but in most cases this is not the case. For example, if a girl is uneconomic, then she may not like to cook and clean up. Or if a man abuses alcohol, it should be accepted that after marriage he will not give up this business. It is very difficult to change an adult person, and often it is simply impossible. Therefore, you need to learn to put up with the shortcomings of your spouse. If everything was fine before the wedding, then after it there should be no complaints.

Set boundaries

The family is the cell of society, which consists of a husband, wife and their children. Nobody cares about her anymore. All other relatives (fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, grandmothers, grandfathers and others) are only a part of big family. You should not let them too deep into your life or try to please them in everything. If your parents don’t like something in your other half, but everything suits you, then you should tell them about it and gently ask them not to interfere in the relationship. Also, you should not allow relatives to look into closets, rearrange things or read mail, unless, of course, you yourself ask for it.

After the birth of a child, a newly-made grandmother very often practically settles in the house. She constantly climbs with advice on how to properly care for the baby. However, family rules say that boundaries must be set. For example, let the grandmother visit her grandchildren in certain days. You can ask her to do specific things: take a walk with the baby, stroke the diapers, and so on. So the grandmother will be busy, and there will be less unnecessary advice.

Respect and patience for parents

It is necessary to set boundaries, but do not forget about respect for the people who raised you and your other half. It is unacceptable to discuss the shortcomings of the parents with the spouse. Better to focus on good qualities. Surely the second mother cooks delicious cabbage soup, and dad is very economic. You need to delimit the territory and talk with your spouse, if only the parents become too annoying and start to interfere family life.

Don't forget to communicate

Perhaps many will agree that the most important thing in a family is respect and ... love. It mostly manifests itself in relationships and communication. Therefore, you do not need to bury yourself in routine matters and forget about each other. Try to find time at least for conversations. It's very simple - just turn off the TV or look away from the computer monitor. It's great if there is an opportunity to get out somewhere with your spouse: go to the movies or just take a walk in the park. Arrange from time to time romantic evenings for each other.

Code of moral rules in the family

Each family should have a clear list of rules that will be known to each of its members. Moreover, they should apply not only to parents, but also to children, so that they grow up well-mannered and decent. If certain conditions are not met, then you can point to a miss. However, this must be done in a friendly and tactful manner. There should not be too many rules, otherwise the importance of the list will be lost. Also, there should be no contradictions in it, so that it is clear what needs to be done and what should not be done.

For example, you can enter the following five family rules that must be strictly observed:

  • love and respect each other;
  • help and support in every possible way;
  • do not criticize others;
  • speak only the truth;
  • to fulfill promises.

Of course, each family will have its own list of rules. It doesn't have to be for the rest of your life. The list can and should be supplemented or changed depending on the circumstances.

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The moral value of the family

Ethics of family relations

If all family members try to get along with each other and avoid conflicts, peace and harmony will always reign in the house. This is not so easy to achieve, sometimes it takes a lot of effort to extinguish the sparks of a flaring quarrel. Some people think that politeness is only necessary outside the home, and in family circle and you can relax. However, relaxing does not mean forgetting all the polite words. It seems to you that "please", "thank you", "sorry" are not needed, you can do without them. Yes, in some cases you can actually not use these conditional expressions. If we are talking about everyday things that are within the competence of, for example, the wife, the husband can simply remind: “Pay for the phone.” He does not have to constantly “ask” for this. The husband may not thank his wife every time she puts before him lunch, and she doesn't have to say "thank you" when he gives her a coat. Asking for a favor and thanking you should be in other cases. For example, a husband can say: "Please bring my cigarettes, I don't want to interrupt work" "For the service rendered, he must thank his wife. Intonation plays a big role in the relationship of close people. It is able to negate all polite expressions. The phrase: "Pour me coffee" can sound friendly and polite, while the words: " I beg you, please pour some coffee" - they can resemble an order. Each family has its own appeals to each other. There is nothing wrong when a husband calls his wife "baby", and she is his "cat", but these pet nicknames not intended for prying ears. In the presence of third parties, it is better to call each other by name.

Spouses often find it difficult to contact their spouse's parents. If you do not want or cannot call your mother-in-law or mother-in-law mother, contact by name and patronymic. You should not call the mother-in-law "grandmother", and the mother-in-law "aunt Masha", this is impolite.

Often the cause of conflict is Cohabitation in the apartment of the spouses and their parents. Quarrels are especially frequent when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in the same apartment. It is not necessary to find out which of them is the "mistress", they both have equal rights to this "title", even if the daughter-in-law does not take much part in household affairs because of her employment at work and in school. At the same time, the mother-in-law, due to her illness, who has no workload in household chores, remains the "senior" mistress: she is given an honorable place at the table and consulted about changes in everyday life. Families are extremely impolite when they remove old grandmothers from participating in family life, do not invite them for festive table during family celebrations. If the daughter's or son-in-law's peers come to visit, the mother does not have to take part in their parties. She can go out to them for a few minutes to say hello. In the same way, members of the younger generation are not required to be present at meetings of parents and their friends. This should be done only when the mother or father specifically asks the children about it. Decency requires that a guest who comes to one of the family members be greeted by all the others, But this does not mean that they should spend the whole evening In his company. So that there are no conflicts in the house, younger generation should always show courtesy towards the older generation. If an elderly mother-in-law or mother-in-law lives in your home, you should not:

tell her that she is tired and she better get some rest just when she is having a great time at the table in the company of your friends and relatives;

shut up and cut off the conversation when she enters the room;

tell children that their grandmother has age oddities;

talking about someone in her presence: "It's an old man";

in a dispute, use the expression: "At your age.";

consider that the inheritance of the mother-in-law is only household chores;

give things associated with mourning;

repeat that your apartment is small and cramped. However, the head mistress should also be polite. She is highly recommended

not too persistently interested in the details of the lives of children;

do not try to find out the details of what she was not told about;

do not show discontent and whims, referring to age;

do not require younger family members to spend more time at home;

do not constantly use the argument: "Here in my time.";

talk less about your past;

the mother-in-law should not show her son her dissatisfaction with her daughter-in-law, and the mother-in-law should not condemn her son-in-law in the presence of her daughter.

Each member of the family should respect the interests and tastes of each other. If a husband likes to watch football or goes fishing on weekends, the wife should not resent this. If he spends Saturday with a fishing rod on the river bank, then Sunday will definitely be dedicated to family affairs. Likewise, the husband must take into account the interests of his wife. In no case should you say with condemnation: "Is a smart woman / can watch such a stupid movie!" When the wife is watching her favorite series on TV.

If you consider yourself well-mannered, don't judge each other's hobbies and friends.

Keep correspondence confidential. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same with each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is doing extremely ugly.

Many are wondering if it is necessary to knock before entering the room of one of the family members? Each family has its own rules, but in the morning or in the evening, when a person can dress or undress, it is better to knock.

If you sit down at the table, the phrase: " Bon Appetit"- not at all necessary. But after eating, a well-mannered person should say:" Thank you.

Very often a man, very gallant towards other ladies, behaves completely unacceptably with his wife, showing elementary bad manners. But it is not in vain that they say that the wife is the "second half." By being impolite towards her, the husband thus shows disrespect to himself.

Know that the duties of a husband include the following:

file outerwear wife, and not only public place, but also in own hallway where no one sees you;

do not read the newspaper at dinner;

to praise the cooking of his wife;

at any dance evening, the first dance must be danced with your wife;

compliment your wife, notice her new dress or new hairstyle;

passing through the door, let his wife in first. Get out of the trolley bus first and give your wife a hand;

from time to time to do to the wife small gifts and buy flowers for no reason;

in the presence of his wife not to look after other women;

forever forget the argument: "I earn and demand that.";

do not walk around the apartment half-dressed;

when leaving home on weekends or after hours, always inform your wife of the purpose of your departure and the time of your return;

show interest in how his wife spent time in his absence;

talk to his wife different topics and not just about household chores.

However, you should not show your attention to your wife by unbridled criticism of everything that seems wrong to you. Day after day, criticizing her character, her manner of dressing, the methods of raising children, her friends, and so on, remember that even the most calm woman patience wears out eventually. By the way, such behavior of a man is often the result of his self-doubt, low self-esteem, so the wife needs to emphasize the merits of her husband more often, to notice all his achievements. Often the wife takes the place of the family critic.

A wife should also remember to be polite towards her husband. She should pay attention to the following:

when choosing outfits and accessories for them, listen to the opinion of your husband, and not just to the advice of your girlfriends;

try as often as possible to cook what your husband loves;

do not interfere in the sphere of his "sacred interests": do not rummage through his briefcase or bag, do not take his personal belongings without permission, do not put things in order in his box;

if your husband once again tells the same story in the company, pretty fed up with you, or bearded joke, do not try to cut off his speech with the phrase: "Everyone has already heard this";

do not criticize him in front of your children. And in general, do not sort things out with him in front of children, this can be done without witnesses;

do not control the husband explicitly;

in no case do not express indignation regarding his attachment to his mother;

praise him more often, make compliments, listen carefully to his advice;

do not invite guests into the house who are not attractive to him, and do not persuade him to go to visit people whose company he does not like;

do not remember the merits of the first husband if you married a second time.

Of course, in life there are different situations and conflicts cannot always be avoided. But if they continue too often, the initiator of quarrels should think and find the reason for their own nervousness, because of which quarrels occur.

During a showdown, you should not resort to irony, because. it usually offends opposite side and provokes a protest. Give all your arguments even tone calmly and politely. Aggressive, commanding or capricious intonations are negatively perceived. In disputes, try to avoid omissions, and it is absolutely stupid and ugly, quarreling, to threaten your spouse.

In a dispute, one should not refer to the opinion of third parties. It is worthwhile during the most friendly conversation to bring the opinion of the mother of one of the spouses, as a calm and polite argument turns into a scandal.

You should not resort to generalizations. If you are unhappy with some mistake made by your spouse at a party, do not start an accusatory speech with the words: "You always.". You only need to talk about concrete fact that took place in this case.

Mutual claims can kill the most tender feelings, even if reproaches and well-deserved. The one to whom they are presented will subconsciously seek to isolate himself from the accuser, so claims that are made too often can lead to a break.

Try to make comments to loved ones in a friendly and unobtrusive way, do not repeat them many times. If a person does not respond to your comments, this does not mean that he did not hear them. He probably cannot or does not want to do otherwise. Forgive those you love for their weaknesses, because you are unlikely to have no flaws at all. However, this is not a call for forgiveness at all. If a person is demanding of himself, he can expect the same from his loved ones. The most important thing is to find right time And correct form statements of requirements.

It is impossible to avoid quarrels in the family, but they should not be frequent, and after reconciliation, the conflict, as well as the reason for its occurrence, must be immediately forgotten.

In general, it is better to extinguish quarrels in the bud, and not to inflate to the size of a universal fire. You can, of course, ask loved one why he did this and not otherwise, but if his answer did not satisfy you, do not try to "push him to the wall." family etiquette recommends: all statements of one partner must be taken on faith - by others. Do not try to catch a loved one in a lie.

Even in a quarrel, do not use harsh expressions. angry, though sincere phrase: "You are crazy!" - it is better to replace it with polite: "You are mistaken, dear." Harsh and rude words, even if they are spoken without malicious intent, can hurt a person painfully and leave an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul for a long time.

Basics good upbringing are laid down in childhood, however, if parents demand from children what they never do themselves, they are unlikely to achieve what they want. No matter how a father or mother inspires a son or daughter that it is ugly to speak obscene words, the child will never accept this if the parents themselves often use profanity in quarrels. It is natural for a child to imitate those who are authority for him, and these are, first of all, the parents. If you want your child to be polite - become an example for him.

If you want your child to learn good manners try to teach him this as early as possible. As soon as the baby began to eat on his own, give him children's cutlery. The sooner you start teaching your child the rules of etiquette, the sooner he will learn to behave correctly and naturally, not only at the table, but also in other situations. However, it is worth remembering that even if friends admire your baby, it is still too early for him to sit for common table along with adult guests. During the celebration, it is better to seat the children at a separate table.

When several children grow up in a family, polite and friendly relations should exist between brothers and sisters. This is possible if parents love their children equally and do not give any of them a reason to feel that he is treated worse than the other.

Of course, no family can do without quarrels, this is a familiar and common thing. But those parents who believe that children should figure it out themselves are wrong: in no case should it be allowed to come to a fight or swear words. Children need to be taught to control themselves, this will help them in the future to maintain self-control even in the most difficult situations.

Children grow up, and there comes an age that is commonly called "difficult". Indeed, sometimes it is very difficult to find mutual language with a teenager who just a year or two ago was affectionate and obedient, and now suddenly became abrupt and withdrawn. It seems that the wall of misunderstanding that has appeared between parents and their child is insurmountable. However, this is not at all the case: if the mother and father are friendly to the child, respect him, share their thoughts with him on many issues, give sensible and smart tips and they themselves do not hesitate to ask his opinion, peace and mutual understanding will reign in the family.

The influence of the family on the formation of the spiritual and moral character of the police officer

Moral and aesthetic education plays a significant role in the professional training of police officers.

Moral education is a process of active and purposeful influence on employees in order to form positive moral qualities. To understand the features of the system moral education, it is necessary to reveal its basic principles: purposefulness, a combination of high requirements with respect for the individual, education in the team and through the team, individual approach, continuity, activity and initiative of the educated.

Purposefulness is such an educational activity when the educator clearly imagines whom and how he is going to educate, what qualities should be formed in the subordinate, what beliefs should be developed in him, what feelings should be developed. In order to set specific goals for yourself, it is necessary to study your subordinates, their character traits, temperament, their views and beliefs. Only in this case it is possible to achieve positive results.

A combination of high standards with respect for the individual. In an effort to form certain qualities in his subordinates, in no case should they be insulted, humiliate the feeling dignity. Otherwise, the results of education will be sharply negative. This principle also warns against two wrong approaches in education, which, unfortunately, still take place:

1) authoritarian upbringing - oriented towards rigid coercion and suppression; b) liberal upbringing- leaning towards forgiveness.

Education is possible in a team and through a team. Sometimes the impact of the team on the employee is more effective than disciplinary measures.

It should be borne in mind that educational opportunities the collective realizes only if a favorable moral atmosphere has developed in it. If the team reigns mutual dislike, a cover-up for bad deeds in the form of " mutual responsibility", then the moral and educational impact of such a team is extremely negative.

Principle individual approach to his subordinates involves taking into account the characteristics of each personality: its character, temperament, level of knowledge of abilities, strengths and weaknesses. Educational impact should not be the same for everyone. Some people respond better to a strict and demanding attitude towards them, while others, on the contrary, respond to praise and support, and from sharp reproaches they withdraw into themselves and lose interest in the matter.

The objectives of moral education are: the formation of positive moral qualities among employees of internal affairs bodies; the fight against the antipodes of morality that take place among employees of the internal affairs bodies (acquisitiveness, bureaucracy, violations of discipline, sycophancy, servility, bribery, drunkenness).

The main methods of moral education are: persuasion, example, moral authority of the leader, coercion, disciplinary measures.

Persuasion is an impact on a person, during which the assimilation of norms, values, principles of morality takes place.

Personal example. In the example, there is always a sense of concreteness, the unity of word and deed.

moral authority of the leader. This method is effective provided that the leader himself has a high moral culture.

Coercion - this method can be used if the subordinate does not respond to the above remedies.

Aesthetic education is a purposeful system of formation of a person who not only perceives beauty, but also strives to live and create according to the laws of beauty.

Main tasks aesthetic education are: the formation of aesthetic tastes, ideals, the development of the ability to correctly understand aesthetic values; the formation of the need for employees to affirm the beautiful in their activities - in work, in lifestyle, in everyday life.

Aesthetic education plays an important role in improving the culture of service activities, contributes to the efficiency of work and the growth of the prestige of the internal affairs bodies. Now, more than ever, our country needs not only highly professional, but also intelligent police, which the population respects and provides all kinds of support for.

ethics family moral aesthetic

The main principles of aesthetic education are: the principle of universality of aesthetic education and art education, the principle of unity of aesthetic and moral education, the principle of complex impact various kinds art, the principle of creative amateur performance of police officers The principle of the universality of aesthetic education and art education. To understand the beautiful, appropriate preparation is necessary, i.e. art education.

The principle of unity of aesthetic and moral education. An employee who is aesthetically developed, as a rule, is also a highly moral person. And he will not allow himself to get drunk, swear, be rude. The principle of the complex impact of various types of art. An aesthetically developed person should have at least a minimum of knowledge and various types of art. The principle of creative amateur performance of police officers. It is necessary to study the abilities of your subordinates, their hobbies and encourage them in every possible way. The methods of aesthetic education are similar to the methods of moral education. The main ones include: persuasion, personal example, encouragement, coercion, disciplinary measures. The role of the family in education is well known and generally recognized. The family is the first sculptor who begins to sculpt both physically and spiritually born personality. Note that nowadays special meaning acquire family traditions. They have their roots in ancient times and in one way or another have always been connected with the way of family life of the people, with their way of life. They regulate the behavior and actions of family members, leave a peculiar imprint on the formation of thoughts and feelings. It is no coincidence that entire dynasties of the military very often take shape in our country. Police officers are no exception. Honor, devotion to the Motherland and law-abidingness are actually inherited from them. It can be said that service to the Motherland has become a good tradition in some families. Family traditions are understood as the customs, order and norms of behavior of family members, and it is they that are transmitted from the older generation to the younger. A person is not born with a ready-made moral behavior. In the process of his formation as a person, a person, perceiving the life of other people and his own life with consciousness, begins to realize himself as a person. Understanding the essence of a child human relations, he similarly builds his relationship to family members, to other people, to society as a whole. So a person fixes in his mind the norms and rules of behavior that exist in the family.

List of sources used

1. Budanov A.V. Pedagogy of personal professional security of police officers. - M., 1992.

2. Zeer E.F. Psychology of professions. - Yekaterinburg, 1997.

3. Psychology and pedagogy in law enforcement activities of internal affairs bodies. Tutorial/ Ed. cand. legal Nauk I.D. Marinovskaya. - M.: MUI of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia; Publishing house "Shield-M", 1997.

4. Psychology. Pedagogy. Ethics. Textbook for universities / O.V. Afanasiev, V.Yu. Kuznetsov, I.P. Levchenko and others; Under the editorship of prof. Yu.V. Naumkin. - M.: Law and Law, UNITI, 1999.

5. Stolyarenko A.M. Applied legal psychology. - M., 2001.

6. Stolyarenko A.M. Psychology and Pedagogy: Textbook for High Schools. - M., 2001.

7. Legal Pedagogy: Textbook for university students / Ed. prof. V.Ya. Kikotya, prof. A.M. Stolyarenko. - M.: UNITI - DANA, Law and Law, 2004.

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There are no identical families, all families are very individual. Every good and bad family is good and bad in its own way.

It is impossible and ethically ugly to “spy” on families through the “keyhole”, that is, to show curiosity by asking people how they are doing. family relationships. But the result of these relations is evident, and it can be seen by the way from these families: law-abiding or morally violating people.

During the 20 post-Soviet years, much has been left to chance. Including the established family values ​​and the upbringing of children in the spirit of family and moral morality have sunk into oblivion. But with the revival of spirituality, more and more questions began to arise about the lost morality, about the need to revive each person's understanding of cultural, spiritual, moral and family values, about strengthening the family.

The family is the initial link from which any society is built and formed. It is from the family that the roots of the roots of a person grow into the ancestral soil and the emergence of love for the place where people were born and raised, otherwise they become a “tumbleweed” without love for their family, without faith and spirituality.

If you do not begin to instruct young parents, do not teach them the basics of family and educational ethics, do not fix in their minds all the good things that have been accumulated in the families of their parents and other demonstrative families, about how the children of righteous askhabs were brought up, then this good will dissolve and not will leave a mark in the souls of children. This means that there will be nothing good in the future, when children and adolescents grow up, reach adulthood and want to start families of their own.

Children, like a sponge, absorb everything good and bad. But most often, all the good is washed away, and the bad settles in the mind and begins to dominate the thoughts and fate of the child. In order to protect children and their future from bad things, I offer parents the following five rules that help in the upbringing of both children and mothers and fathers themselves.

These rules are easy to understand and follow, and it is advisable to accept them and take the first step in applying them.

RULE ONE:

Parents should realize their dominant role in the family, and children should understand that the owner of the house is the father, and the mistress is the mother. The father performs all male, paternal duties, the mother - female, maternal. But this does not mean that the mother alone should carry all physical activity in the performance of her duties, her growing children must definitely help her in this. A father needs to pay more attention to his sons, direct their attention to ensure that they grow up strong and healthy children, go in for sports, know how to protect the younger ones, and help their mother in everyday life. The mother must root in their minds the knowledge family traditions and rites. It is mothers who need love for each other, a sense of mutual help and support, knowledge of their native language and respect for older relatives from both father and mother. Children need to know where their roots come from. family tree, must feel inseparable bond with this place, with this land, with your home. It is this sense of unity that will always give them powerful nourishment in the future. It is it that will not let them break away and go to unknown distances far from relatives, friends and from the place where they were born and lived for many years of their lives.

RULE TWO:

In a family, there should be no competition between siblings: neither in getting grades at school, nor in doing household chores, nor in showing special talents and abilities. They should know what each one can do better and in what way he can prove himself without infringing on the dignity of another brother or sister. They must learn to help each other and be proud not of themselves and their successes, but of what is wonderful in his brother and sister. This is what helps children to gain a sense of mutual understanding and support for each other.

Parents should show to all their children, but if one of them is sick or still cannot walk and perform their duties on their own, these children should be in the center of attention of the whole family, and everyone should learn to show special support and care to such a family member . This is how there will be no jealousy in the family because one of the children is given more attention: they will know and understand why this is happening. Children must be sure that each of them is desired, loved and needed by both father and mother.

RULE THREE:

In the family, separate punishments and rewards are undesirable.

A child cannot be kicked out of the house for misconduct. You can not refuse him food and drink. One cannot remain stern and indifferent at the sight of the wounds and bruises of a child, because all this inflicts serious trauma on the soul of the child and alienates him from his parents. No matter how guilty the child is, parents need to realize that this is not only his misfortune, but also the fault of the parents themselves, who missed something in his upbringing. This parental omission led the child to commit a misdemeanor. . Each such case should be discussed in the family circle and a joint decision should be made on how to help the stumbled child in the future. This will help you not to return to this topic again. To understand and forgive, to forget about a bad deed and remember all the good things - this is how the positive is brought up in children.

Separate incentives in the form of a sum of money for good grades, doing housework, for sports achievements, success in creativity and other areas should also not be welcomed and should not become mandatory in the family circle. This can kindle a spirit of superiority and competition in children. Children should understand that not everyone can learn, create, compose, be the first in sports and anywhere else in the same way. The first place is always one, and there are a lot of people who want to take it, and this is exactly what parents should explain to their children. . And if their children can honestly and worthily reach the podium, then this should be the result of hard work and a desire to prove themselves among worthy rivals. Their talents and abilities must be developed in the right direction. And this should not be encouraged by additional monetary rewards from the father or mother, but to celebrate the success of the child at the festive family table should and should.

RULE FOUR:

Children in such cases are happy to talk about their marks, sporting achievements and, if they have problems, they try with the help of their parents to understand why they arose and how to cope with them.

In such families, both problems and joys are all in common. Friendly family rejoices together, and from this joy becomes great. And when they are upset together, because the grief is shared by all family members, negative experiences decrease and soon completely disappear from the family horizon.

RULE FIVE:

They are very sensitive fine line between truth and lies.

Parents can tell their children as much as they want about the rules of conduct and what they need to follow, but all their conversations and calls may be in vain. Adults should remember that first of all they themselves need to be what they call their children to become.

If parents say one thing, and do everything exactly the opposite, then the children will remember not their words, but their actions.

If a father says that drinking and smoking is harmful, and he does all this before the eyes of his children, then the children are unlikely to believe him, seeing that he himself violates the principles of correct behavior.

If a mother loves to gossip and gossip with her neighbors, if she does not pay due attention to order and comfort in the house, can she demand the opposite from her children?

In the souls of children there will be a residue of mistrust towards such parents.

Every family should not have double standards and norms of behavior. Otherwise, children will simply repeat the fate of their parents, and trust in parents will be lost. Therefore, parents must first of all correct themselves and in this way will correct the fate of their own children. Can parents wish a bad fate for their children or want their children to repeat their sins?

To change your behavior and right upbringing Children need fortitude and great patience. In the Holy Quran, Allah Almighty calls people to patience and fortitude, which help people not to go down the right way and the mercy of the Creator leads them on the path of Truth.

In conclusion, it should be noted that living according to the above rules is good because in this case life becomes correct, and this is done for the benefit of yourself and the happy future of your children.

Wish

I want everyone to know this for sure:

Even if he hears all the words for the first time.

For everyone, the family is the beginning of all beginnings.

When the family becomes the measure

Piety and faith as one,

The one that absorbed the whole word.

When the family is a cell and a link,

The beginning of faith, kind and all native.

Do not do evil, do not tear the thread of the family.

Do not intentionally cut off all ties with her.

The Creator will not give blessings to those who, contrary to

This is against God's orders.

Fasten the related thread tighter.

Love your family, take care of your bonds.

Live in peace and keep your family!

Usually, couples who get married have little idea of ​​what awaits them as a result. This mainly concerns young people, who believe that after the registry office, they expect a period similar to dating time. In fact, everything is different, because living together and seeing each other several times a week is completely different concepts. To have everything at home the best way, it is very convenient to draw up family rules, which you will follow later.

The need for their laws

Quite often it turns out that everyone wanted the best, but everything turned out completely differently. To develop a family, you need to take certain actions. People get married because they feel good together. And it is very important to keep this freshness of relations for a long time. But how to do this if everyone is already a mature personality and is used to living in accordance with their preferences?

During periodic meetings, of course, it was not necessary to deal with issues related to everyday life. But now, in order not to overshadow life with a showdown, quarrels, it is necessary to determine the rules of the family that are mandatory for implementation. Thus, 2 people, each of whom was brought up differently from the other, will be able to live peacefully and happily.

Partner respect

First of all, you need to treat your soulmate in the same way as you want to be treated. To do this, you need to see in a partner, first of all, a person. Do not impose on a wife who wants to study English language, excessive housework. In any case, a woman knows that she needs to take care of her man, improving his life in every possible way. But not every spouse has a great desire to constantly walk around the house with a rag.

Also, a man may try to force the chosen one to transform his appearance according to his understanding of the matter. Perhaps he is jealous, therefore he does not want his wife to wear short skirts. Or maybe the husband wants everyone to know how beautiful his chosen one is, so he is trying to get her to take care of herself more, but in accordance with her taste preferences. In any case, the addictions of the second half must be treated with respect, you can not press.

Community of interest

Promising couples always have similar interests. Aspirations in any case must be different. Such couples always find common topics in addition, they can tell the partner something new. Thus, spouses are quite interested in the Rules of the family, first of all, should include the point of accepting your soulmate as she is.

You should not try to "close" your wife within 4 walls, as many men may try to do. As a result, the interests of a woman will be reduced only to the family and home, and the husband will become bored of communicating with her. Also, the wife must understand that if she is not interested in something new for herself, then soon the number of topics for communication will be reduced to zero.

In order to be interesting together, you do not need to limit yourself to a routine. Should be together various events(meetings, exhibitions, films, etc.). No need to step back and try to live your own life. Because as a result, this will lead to the collapse of the relationship.

Take an interest in your partner's life

Quite often it happens that wives are interested in what happened to their husbands at work. But the husband does not want to talk about this topic. He may have his reasons. Often it all comes down to the fact that at home he wants to relax and not think about work problems, distract from them, forget.

It is also not uncommon for a man to be interested in talking about his work all the time. And in his wife he sees a grateful listener. The wife, because she has to listen to a number of facts, for example, about any mechanisms, is not inspired to communicate.

That is, here it is necessary to find golden mean. And again, it all comes down to understanding your partner. The rules of the family should first of all be aimed at seeing the person next to you as an individual. And depending on this, take any action.

Honesty is the key to a good relationship

Very big problem couples is their inability to behave honestly in relationships. When two people communicate, there are always moments with which one of them disagrees. Do not turn a blind eye to this, accumulating resentment.

You need to make it a rule to always tell your partner about what you don’t like. Do not express dissatisfaction, swear or raise your tone. Communication should be done gently, calmly and with love. In any case, you need to remember that next to you is not a stranger, but a soulmate. The partner may have his own ideas, so he does not need to be judged. On the contrary, the rules of family life should be to stipulate all the difficulties that arise.

Segregation of duties

A long time ago, it so happened that a man should provide for his family, and a woman should do housework. Times are different now, and the responsibilities of the partners must correspond to the times.

Terms modern life develop in people the desire to try to make good money. This is done in order to live with dignity. It happens that it is more difficult for a man to earn money. And if the wife works to improve the overall financial situation, then you should not burden her with household duties. In this case, the duties should be divided equally between the spouses. This moment can always be replayed. The norms and rules of the family should predetermine that more housework is done by the one who is on this moment freer.

Avoid physical intimacy

Sadly, many couples begin to have less sex, experiencing physical fatigue after a stressful labor day. Men are more developed physically, so they endure stress more easily. But if a woman works all day, and in the evening she cleans and cooks, then at night she wants to rest. And this desire is quite reasonable and completely natural.

The code of family rules should indicate that such a problem should be solved and discussed together. Of course, in the absence of mutual understanding here, as a result, the family will be destroyed. Time for intimacy and love in any case must be found. But it should be done in such a way that both of these pastimes are a joy, and not as an additional burden.

mutual support

In any case, you need to give each other a friendly shoulder. After all, spouses are not only lovers, but also very good and good friends. You should always try to support each other. To do this, you should tell your partner nice words and never skimp on them.

The family is the rear in the life of each of us. It is very important that after returning from somewhere it is always possible to return to a loving and understanding person who will always understand and support. You should not ignore your partner, on the contrary, you should try to understand and support him as much as possible.

Set of rules

They are also of great importance. There should be moral rules in the family, the list of which is familiar to each of its members. So that children grow up decent and educated people, they should also be subject to the laws adopted in the family. If certain conditions are not met, it is allowed to indicate a miss. But you need to do it tactfully and friendly.

The 5 family rules to be strictly followed might look like this:

  1. Help each other and support each other.
  2. Respect and love your parents.
  3. To tell the truth.
  4. Do not discuss others.
  5. To fulfill promises.

Care should be taken not to have too many rules. It is also important to avoid contradictions. If compiled long list, then its importance is lost. In addition, it is difficult to memorize and implement it. And if the set of rules includes items that the child must comply with, then even more so, a list that is difficult to understand should not be made.

In addition, the baby must clearly and clearly understand what should not be done. Rules should be presented as norms, the implementation of which must be strictly enforced. This should not be a constant prohibition coming from the parents.

Relationships built on friendship

Many will agree that over time married couples slightly reminiscent of lovers. Relations between a man and a woman often come down to friendship, although very close. The set of selected rules can be absolutely anything. The fact is that each person chooses those norms that he considers necessary for himself. After all, no one forces friends to be honest and not deceive each other. They do so according to their inner aspirations.

Friends may implicitly believe that if certain rules are violated, their relationship will collapse. And it is very important to understand that any quarrel can lead to a deterioration in relationships. Therefore, when there is a misunderstanding, you need to put up with each other very quickly. This is the foundation of the family rules. Examples are that the relationship in a couple is more important than any cheating, misunderstandings with children, problems at work or material difficulties. All of the above should not become more than a relationship.

It's important to be beautiful

It is necessary to try to take care of yourself, and do it not for the holidays, but constantly. The well-groomed appearance of both partners is a guarantee that the relationship will exist for quite a long time. The moral rules adopted in the family must necessarily include the requirement to take care of oneself. Do not forget about yourself, because with a lot of daily problems, spouses can begin to completely ignore their appearance. This should not be done, because the interest of both partners in most cases is manifested when visual contact. And if one begins to perceive the other as furniture, then it is possible that the one who does not take care of himself is to blame here. Therefore, do not forget about stores with fashionable and beautiful clothes.

You also need to take care of the quality and beauty of your underwear. The more rich modern choice makes people look stylish and impressive different ages And material wealth. It is also necessary to pay attention cosmetics and perfumery.

A set of rules is mandatory in every family. But you don’t need to treat it as something boring and complicating life. The rules are set by the spouses themselves. And they must fully comply with their ideas about harmonious relationship to be aimed at their improvement and strengthening. Two loving people share how they see and what is important to them. In no case should you make it so that for someone one rule was something familiar from childhood, and the other partner had difficulty fulfilling them. The adoption of such norms must be fair and equitable.