Preparing high school students for family life. stage - Final. left without parental care
MUNICIPAL GENERAL EDUCATIONAL BUDGETARY INSTITUTION SECONDARY EDUCATIONAL
SCHOOL № 25 MO KORENOVSKY DISTRICT
Social and personal achievements of students within the framework extracurricular activities by subject
Project
Myzenko A.R., 11th grade student MOBU SOSH No. 25
2013
Project "School of preparation for family life"
Explanatory note
The project "School of preparation for family life" is a special cycle of activities to prepare high school students for family life.
The family is one of the most important values created by mankind over the millennia. Not a single nation, not a single state, not a single cultural community could do without a family. The family ensures the personal and spiritual and moral development of a person throughout his life. The system of education and the psychological climate of the family have a decisive influence on the formation of the character, life position and value orientations of the younger generation, and, consequently, on the further development of society. Currently, there are several psychological and cultural phenomena that can be qualified as undesirable for society. Firstly, it is the obvious and ever-increasing muscularization of girls and the feminization of boys, the violation of their sex roles. Second, appearance is everything more extreme inappropriate forms of behavior: aggressiveness and depression. Thirdly, the exacerbation of the problems of loneliness at a young age and instability marital relations in family. These processes appear at school, as girls, who are ahead of boys in their development by an average of 2.5 years, cannot see them as their protectors and demonstrate their superiority in relation to them, which in turn gives rise to a protective, self-affirming type of behavior in boys, leading to aggravation of conflicts.
It is known that the psyche of the child, patterns of behavior, moral and social attitudes are formed in the family. Only in the cooperation of the family and educational institution can effectively influence the full and harmonious development child.
The main goal of the project
- deep and fundamental preparation of school students for family life, for responsible fatherhood and worthy motherhood.
Today's students will become parents tomorrow, and the future of each of us and the whole state depends on how truthfully they can assess reality, whether they learn to recognize good and evil, whether they develop the ability to self-knowledge and self-improvement.
Tasks:
1. Promotion of the positive experience of family education.
2. Formation of high life positions.
3. Expansion of knowledge about the family, the patterns of its development, traditions and customs, way of life, etiquette, gender psychology.
4. Formation of responsible "parenthood".
Relevance of the program lies in the fact that it is an educational tool that opposes the social danger emanating from the media in an environment of declining morality and uncertain spirituality. The program can also become a reliable prevention of social threat and pathology of family relations, bring mental, social and spiritual recovery through the development of a deep awareness of the meaning and purpose of life.
Conditions for the implementation of the program:
The program is designed for 3 years of study:
1 section - 9th grade
Section 2 - Grade 10
Section 3 - Grade 11
Ways to implement the program:
1. A cycle of classes for schoolchildren.
2. A cycle of classes for parents.
3. A cycle of classes for high school students and parents (jointly).
Forms of interaction:
discussions and debates
intellectual and role-playing games
lessons with elements of psychological training
meeting with a health worker
parent meetings
class-family trips (trips)
family sites
family council presentation
family vernissage
family archive
family museum
book of trust
The readiness of high school students for independent family life is determined by a group of indicators:
Moral-psychological and intellectual-cognitive readiness.
Sex education.
Social medical and legal knowledge.
Economic and economic preparation.
Predicted result
As a result of mastering the program, students must know :
the history of the development of the institution of family and marriage in Russia;
family way of life, traditions, customs, rituals of Russian culture;
moral standards of marriage;
works of outstanding writers, poets, artists, composers, film directors, dedicated to the topic family, parenthood, civic position of a person;
-purchase:
experience of productive behavior in the process of solving problem situations in the family;
experience in design and research activities on the topic of the program;
a certain set of assigned seed spiritual and moral values: love, kindness, respect, chastity, truth, culture, goodness, faith, hope; freedom and equality, dignity, peace; mother (maternity), father (paternity);
-be targeted:
on feelings of love, respect, mutual moral responsibility between family members;
for an official marriage;
for the birth and upbringing of children in a complete family;
for the responsible performance of parental functions (maternity or paternity);
fulfillment of basic household duties (maintenance of a joint household, creation of a family budget, etc.);
on the relationship with parental families, orientation on the values of the family and clan;
-demonstrate:
respect for parents and other family members;
fulfillment of basic household duties in the parental family;
readiness to create a complete family, the birth and upbringing of children.
Project content
Section 1: "Family as a business partnership"
1 . Elective course : "Family as a business partnership"
2. cool watch by topic:
- "Family in modern society",
- “Everything rests on it” (about the personality in the family),
- The Art of Small Steps.
- Do we need a family?
- "Modern family: crisis or search for happiness?",
- "What if it's love?"
4. Training workshop: How to Calculate a Family Budget
5. Competition of projects: "The Art of Marriage"
- “Rules of family life”,
- "Family budget",
- "The problem of family vacation."
7. Joint activities:
hikes and trips,
Excursions to the place of work.
Section 2: "Ethics and Psychology of Family Life"
1. Elective subject: "Ethics and psychology of family life"
2. Cool clocks by topics:
- "Whatever the husband does, it's good,"
- Golden Wife
- "Between us girls (boys)."
3. Meeting of the "Debate" club on the topics:
- “Civil marriage: “for” and “against”,
- “I don’t want to study, but I want to get married”,
- “Advice and love” ... or “Patience to you”?
4. Training workshop : "The masculinity of boys and the femininity of girls"
5. Project competition : "My future family"
6. Parent meetings (lectures) on the topics:
- "How to talk to children about love, sex and family life",
- "Psychotypes of mother and father",
- "Styles of parenting behavior and education."
7. Joint activities:
family week,
Exhibition "Creative workshop of the family",
Conference: "Family Traditions and Their Significance".
Section 3: "Conscious Parenting"
1. Optional "Conscious" parenthood "
2. Cool clocks by topics:
- "Good example",
What do fathers forget?
“To marry means to halve your rights and double your responsibilities.”
3. Meetings of the "Debate" club on the topics:
- "Children from an economic point of view",
- “And if the fashion for children completely disappears?”,
“A child learns what he sees in his home. Parents are an example of this” (V. Brand).
4.Training workshop: "Relationships - "fathers and sons"
5. Project competition : "Mom, dad, I'm a happy family"
6. Parent meetings (lectures) on the topics:
- « Commandments of parents»,
- "The role of the father (mother) in the upbringing of children",
- Criteria of adulthood.
7. Joint activities:
family week,
Honoring family dynasties.
The developers of the program reserve the right to make adjustments to it during the implementation process.
Bibliography
Zakharova L. Janusz Korchak: the holy majesty of love.//Education of schoolchildren.-2005.-№2.
Sukhomlinsky V.A. I give my heart to children. - K .: “I'm glad. school", 1985.
Kovalev S. V. Preparing high school students for family life. - M .: Education, 1991.
Kovalev S.V. Psychology of the modern family. - M .: Education, 1998.
Classroom Methodical newspaper for the class teacher "Classroom management and education of schoolchildren." No. 7, 2009, M.: Ed. house "First of September".
Elective courses in social science for pre-profile training and profile education in grades 9-11: methodological guide / comp. T.A. Korniva and others. M.: Globus, 2007.
"Preparing teenagers for family life" A.N. Sizanov.
Reader on ethics and psychology of family life: Proc. Student aid Art. classes / Comp. I.V. Grebennikov, L.S. Kovinko. - M .: Education, 1987.
Janushkevicius R.V. Fundamentals of morality. Tutorial for pupils and students. - M., 2000.
Druzhinin V.N. Family psychology. Yekaterinburg, 2000.
Eumenius, abbot. Anomalies of parental love. Ed. 2nd. "The Light of Orthodoxy", 2008
Ilyin I.A. The path of spiritual renewal: About the family / Comp. Lisitsa Yu.T., SOBR. Op. in 10 vols., Volume 1. - M .: "Russian Book", 1996.
Latyshina D.I. traditions of raising children among the Russian people. M.: "School Press", 2004.
Varga A.Ya. Systemic psychotherapy. St. Petersburg: Speech; 2001.
G. Navaitis "Secrets of family (not) happiness." Academy of Pedagogical and Social Sciences, Moscow Psychological and Social Institute. Moscow-Voronezh 1998
Annex No. 1 to the project "School of preparation for family life":
Family week design.
Goals:
1) Awareness of the basic values of the family.
2) Preventing the influence of adverse social factors on the child, helping children find support in the family, improving relationships with parents.
Preparation algorithm:
1. Define the idea of the week.
2. Formulate the theme of the week and parent meetings.
3. Form a goal, tasks of the week and parent meeting.
4. Understand what information is needed for the parent meeting and how it can be obtained (survey, analysis of observations, conversations).
5. Determine the content of the week, its specific activities.
6. Think about how to establish interaction with parents during the week.
Basic principles :
1) The main idea of the week is expressed in the title. It should be formulated in such a way as to arouse interest in children and parents and a desire to participate in the events of the week.
2) The events of the week should have a certain semantic focus, reflect in specific forms chosen idea.
3) Thematic events can be held both with children and parents of a certain class or group of children, and with all children and parents of the school.
4) The week should end with a general parent meeting, which summarizes the entire week.
Forms of work: photo newspapers, exhibitions, promotions, polls, questionnaires, role-playing games, class hours, competitions of drawings, poems, crafts, wall newspapers, etc.
Family week on the topic: "How to build peace in the family"
Task: to support in parents and children the idea that peace in the family is the main condition for the well-being, happiness and health of all family members.
Activity:
Poll "What is a happy family?"
Diagnostic game "Mail"
Page family history"What do they call me at home?"
Exhibition "Lullaby of my childhood"
Photo essay "Me and my family"
Parent meeting"How to build peace in the family?"
Day open doors for parents
Family week on the topic: "The house in which I live"
Target : the formation of ideas about the house as the basis of mutual understanding, contact and respect for people to each other.
Activity:
Theater performance for parents. Dramatization of the fairy tale "Last Child"
Survey of parents "Styles of parenting behavior"
Projective drawing "The house in which I live"
Collage "Flower bed" on the theme "My family"
Questionnaire for students "How we communicate at home"
Projective drawing "The house that I will build"
Action for parents "A wise thought about raising children"
Parent meeting "Style of family education"
Meeting with the inspector of the commission on juvenile affairs
Results from family weeks:
Annex 2: QUESTIONNAIRE for students
Specify gender ______________
Choose the statement that best describes, in your opinion,
modern family .
The family is a voluntary union of a man and a woman.
Family is the place where I feel needed and significant.
Family is a strong bond between generations
The family is a reliable support of a person in life
A family is a union of two people, independent of each other, each of which has its own views and interests.
The family is the material dependence of one spouse on the other.
Family is a union based on love and spiritual closeness of two people.
Family is the only place where I feel safe and comfortable
The main purpose of the family is the birth and upbringing of children.
2 . What, in your opinion, contributes to strengthening the family in the first year of marriage?
Love
Understanding
material stability
Separate housing
Parent support
Lack of attention from parents
Absence of children
Desire to have children right away
Clear distribution of household duties
Shared housekeeping
Common interests
Desire to spend free time together
Having mutual friends
Difficult to answer
What traditions do you have in your parental family?
New Year's Eve with the whole family
Family vacation in nature
Organizing a birthday party for a family member
Holding family councils
Organization and holding of theatrical family performances
Family visits to exhibitions, galleries, theaters, concerts
Vacation sharing
Honoring religious holidays and customs in the family
Celebration of significant dates for your family
Family succession of professions
There are no traditions in our family;
Difficult to answer
4. At what age are you ready to start a family?
Under 18 years old - 18 to 20 years old - 20 to 25 years old - 25 to 30 years old
Over 30 years old - Difficult to answer
5. Number each value in order of importance to you (1-most important, etc.)
Work - family
Health - friends
Free time - self-development
Money - education
Career
6. The head of your future family will be:
Husband - wife - equality
7. What form of family life do you prefer?
officially registered marriage
Unregistered marriage with the further intention to conclude it
Unregistered marriage without further intention to conclude it
Difficult to answer
8. How ready are you to perform family functions after marriage?
family functions
ready
more ready than not ready
more unprepared than ready
not ready
find it difficult to answer
to have children
raise children
perform household duties
provide for the family financially
observe the moral and legal norms of behavior in the family
contribute spiritual development family members
correspond to the new social status (husband, wife, mother, father)
spend free time together
provide emotional support to family members
satisfy sexual needs
Yes, their opinion is very important to me.
I will listen to their opinion, but I will make my own choice
No, I don't care about their opinion.
10. Do you want to have your future family like your parents?
Yes I want to
I want more than I don't want
I don't want more than I want
No I do not want to
Report
on the implementation of the project "School of preparation for family life"
in MOBU secondary school No. 25 MO Korenovsky district
Since 2013, a social project has been implemented in the MOBU secondary school No. 25 of the Korenovskiy district"School of preparation for family life". The development and implementation of the project was facilitated by a large preliminary research work: the works of modern scientists were studied, the level of the demographic situation in the region was analyzed, a survey was conducted on this issue among students in grades 10-11. The results are as follows:
A total of 39 students took part:41% - boys; 59% - girls
Boys and girls were invitedassess the degree of their readiness to perform family functions after marriage. Sexual needs took the first place, which can be explained by the peculiarities of the physiological development of a young organism. Also of paramount importance is spending time together and emotional support. Below in importance:
Moral and legal norms of behavior in the family,
Fulfillment of business duties
Less than half are ready to correspond to the status of husband/wife/mother/father,
To promote spiritual development is typical for most girls.
Best age to start a family:
1) The girls have an adequate assessment: the majority answered - from 20 to 25 years.
For boys, the situation is more interesting:
38% consider the optimal age for starting a family to be 25-30 years old
32% - 20-25 years old
18% - 18-20 years old
It is obvious that at the age of 20 to 25 it is very difficult to achieve financial independence in the conditions of modern socio-economic reality: this is the period of obtaining vocational education, finding a job and starting one's own professional career. Therefore, the question arises: how exactly, in the minds of most young men, is the financial independence necessary to be ready to start a family achieved?
Of the mostsignificant life values boys and girls preferred free time. The next position of choice is self-development, the young men gave preference to money and a career, which ranks third. For guys, education is also important, and for girls, friends, education and self-development. The family takes only 6th place. This value is only slightly more significant for girls than for boys. According to the results, it is clear that modern high school students reduced value of family life.
Social maturity is more typical for girls than boys, so girls more often reflect in their answers real situation in modern Russian family, and young men tend to idealize the situation.
So 80% of young men think thathead of the family must be a male as a carrier social status corresponding to the role of husband and father.
The majority of girls (65%) are in favor of an even distribution of responsibilities between spouses. The desire of girls for constructive interaction once again confirms their greater psychological and social maturity compared to boys.
Most of the students (90%) prefer thisform of family life as an officially registered marriage.
The study showed that in every family there are certaintraditions . The most popular are: New Year, birthdays, joint holidays, significant joint dates. It is no coincidence that these traditions turned out to be the highest priority for young people: it is thanks to them that emotional and spiritual contact is made between family members, and in such a modern high-speed world they are becoming increasingly valuable. Perhaps this explains the fact that almost all respondents are going to continue these traditions in their future families.
The parental family leaves an imprint on all further independent life. Therefore, when answering the questions of the questionnaire, the students projected the relationship that had developed between their parents onto their future family. Apparently, therefore, half of the students want their future family to be similar to their parents. Most students receive the necessary knowledge from their parents and close relatives. However, a third of the students do not want similarities with their parental family. 
There is no doubt that parents have a great influence on young people, but most young men and women are going to make their own choice of a future spouse.
Think thathelps to strengthen the family in the first year of marriage by priority:
Understanding,
Love,
Common interests,
The desire to spend free time together,
Having mutual friends
separate housing,
material stability.
Research has shown that the most importantsources impact on the minds of young people are parents and friends. The school mainly provides neutral information on preparation for family life. However, both students and parents expressed their desire for the need to form family and marriage relations at the school level as well.
Conclusions are drawn:
1) The general readiness of young people for family life is not high.
2) Of all the institutions of socialization, the family has the main influence on the readiness of young people for family life. The school should act as an intermediary between the family and society.
Project"School of preparation for family life" represented by 11th grade student Anastasia Myzenko at school, municipal, regional and regional level. There are diplomas of 1 and 2 degrees.
It is still too early to talk about the results of the project implementation in the educational process, but after the first year of implementation it can be noted:
1) More interested attitudes of parents towards the school.
2) A deeper and more serious attitude of students to family values.
3) A more friendly, warm general atmosphere in the school, improved mutual understanding.
Director V.A. Koltunov
Deputy Director S.I. Kondrashkin
Municipal educational institution
"Vozdvizhenskaya secondary school"
Kulundinsky district Altai Territory
Working programm
elective course
in 10-11 CLASS
With. Vozdvizhenka 2017
The work program of the elective course was compiled according to the program of the module "Preparing high school students for family life" by the author - compiler Sviridov A.N. Ph.D. Professor of the Department of Correctional Development and Special Education of AQIPKRO
Classes are held once a week for students in grades 10-11.
When conducting classes, such forms of work can be used:
Discussion of issues;
Analysis and playback of situations;
Engaging play and art therapy;
Use of audio and video materials.
Educational and thematicuyplan
| section names | ||
| Perception of self and others | ||
| History of my name | ||
| Social formation of personality | ||
| The art of communicating with parents | ||
| Conflicts and their consequences | ||
| The emotional world of the family | ||
| family secrets | ||
| reproductive health | ||
| Family planning | ||
| Modern methods of protection | ||
| Artificial termination of pregnancy | ||
| Sexuality, the problem of choice | ||
| Responsibility and objectivity | ||
| Love or Addiction | ||
| Divorce. How and why is this happening? | ||
| How to survive a breakup? | ||
| Final session Collage "Our group" | ||
| Total lessons |
results
Identification and correction of individual characteristics in situations of interpersonal interaction;
Development of confidence in one's abilities and abilities to make reasonable decisions, overcome life's difficulties;
Formation of the ability to build deep and reliable relationships;
Acquisition of skills for constructive interaction with both parents and prospective partners;
Improving the Psychological and Pedagogical Competence of Future Parents.
Physiological, psychological, social development of personality, reproductive health, sexuality, responsibility, birth planning, contraception, addiction, love
Thematic planning for an elective course
"Preparing high school students for family life"
total for study 34 hours
| Topic of the lesson | note |
||||
| Perception of self and others Introductory lesson. The golden rule of reciprocity. | |||||
| Respect and love in communication | |||||
| History of my name Self-presentation "Who am I?" My life motto. Freedom to make decisions. Solution types | |||||
| Geography of birth myths. History of my name. Fantasy "My inner world" | |||||
| Physiological and psychological changes during growing up | |||||
| Social formation of personality The social role and formation of men and women. Masculinity and femininity as personality traits | |||||
| From girl to woman. From boy to man | |||||
| The art of communicating with parents Eternity problems of fathers and children. The concept of the ideal parent and ideal child | |||||
| Ability to speak and ability to listen. Praise and support | |||||
| Conflicts and their consequences Family as a group. Human conflicts and their consequences. The art of winning and the art of losing | |||||
| The ability to forgive. Ways to overcome anger and envy. family health criteria. | |||||
| The emotional world of the family The main emotions of contact of an adapted personality. The role of positive experiences | |||||
| family secrets Alcohol and drugs. Questionnaire "What do I know about drugs?" AIDS. How to protect yourself from AIDS? | |||||
| Violation of the rights of the child. Violence in family. | |||||
| reproductive health Do I know my birth story? The strength and stability of the marital relationship | |||||
| Family planning The natural method of family planning. Free contraception | |||||
| Modern methods of protection Modern methods of protection against unwanted pregnancy | |||||
| Random connections - is the risk justified? Sexually transmitted diseases. Prevention. | |||||
| Artificial termination of pregnancy To live or not to live - who decides? | |||||
| Sexuality, the problem of choice Sexual behavior and human moral responsibility | |||||
| Environmental pressure in the field of intimate relationships. When to say no? | |||||
| Responsibility and objectivity Consequences of premarital sexual relations | |||||
| Extramarital sexual relations. The situation “If a friend suddenly turned out to be ...” | |||||
| Love or Addiction Infatuation, falling in love and love as psychological states | |||||
| Unrequited love. Feelings of resentment and ways to overcome it. Trust and limits | |||||
| Retention strategies are bad advice. Mastering constructive ways of interacting with a partner. | |||||
| Models of behavior in the process of searching for a worthy object of love. Questionnaire "Which guy or girl suits you?" | |||||
| Divorce. How and why is this happening? Stages of grief: shock, depression, anger, reconciliation | |||||
| Awareness of one's own responsibility for one's own problems | |||||
| Self-esteem. Respect for the feelings of others. | |||||
| How to survive a breakup? Exercise-adventure "Into the unknown with the whole group" | |||||
| The value of friendship for a person. Modeling the image of "True Friendship" | |||||
| Final session Collage "Our group" |
With this test, you will find out if you are ready for family life or if you should not rush into a relationship with your partner.
Answer questions and statements. Answer quickly, without hesitation "yes", "no" or "sometimes".
Questionnaire text.
1. Do you agree with the statement that family and family relationships are more important than friendships, friends and friendships?
2. Do you think that you should continue working in your profession after marriage?
3. Don't you think that a family without children is like a house without an owner?
4. Do all your friends praise the dishes you cook?
5. In the future, do you intend to share all your secrets and secrets with your partner?
6. Don't you think that your parents' marriage was a success?
7. Do you approve of the idea of the so-called "trial marriage"?
8. Do you find premarital sex reprehensible and unacceptable?
9. Are you ready to forgive your partner for cheating?
10. Can you say that you are indulgent and tolerant of the shortcomings of others?
11. Are you ready to share your partner's passions?
12. Do you tend to exaggerate the virtues of those you love?
13. Do you think your partner's work will be less important than yours?
14. Are you sure that taking care of everyday little things will give you pleasure?
15. If you are treated politely and delicately, can you give in?
16. Do you always know exactly what worries your partner at the moment?
17. Do certain habits of your partner often cause you irritation?
18. Do you find it difficult to communicate with your partner's parents?
19. When talking about children, do you frown in disdain or turn the conversation to another topic?
20. You can't live a day without each other?
21. Are you frank with your partner about your own problems and shortcomings?
22. Do you think your partner could be a little prettier and smarter?
23. Is it easier for you to imagine your future without a career than without a family?
24. Don't you think that you seriously thought about marriage only after your mother approved of your choice?
25. Does your harmony come to the point that you equally evaluate the actions of your friends and acquaintances?
26. Does your partner's desire to please you not only cause you irritation?
Test results.
Calculate the total score (SB) using the key:
1. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
2. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
3. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
4. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
5. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
6. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
7. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
8. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 0
9. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
10. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
11. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
12. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
13. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
14. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
15. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
16. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
17. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
18. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
19. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
20. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
21. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
22. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
23. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
24. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
25. yes - 2, no - 0, sometimes - 1
26. yes - 0, no - 2, sometimes - 0
The readiness factor (KG) for marriage is calculated by the formula:
KG = (SB: 52) x 100%
For example, if you scored 23 points, then CG = (23:52)x100% = 0.442x100% = 44.2%
So you are 44% ready for marriage. Is it worth it to hurry?
0 - 20 points - unpreparedness for marriage.
21 - 38 points - partial readiness for family life.
39 - 52 points - readiness for marriage.
If the test results upset you, don't be discouraged. After all, any test is considered as a guide to action. Perhaps you just lack self-confidence, trust in a partner and life experience. All in your hands!
("Psychological tests for all occasions")
Izvestia DSPU, No. 1, 2007
MORAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL READINESS
TO THE FAMILY LIFE OF CORRECTIONAL EDUCATIONAL STUDENTS
INSTITUTIONS OF THE VIII TYPE
©2о°7 Bagdueva K. G.
Dagestan State Pedagogical University
In the moral readiness of students of correctional educational institutions of the VIII type for family life, several levels are distinguished. The first group with a high level of readiness includes 5.4% of students. They understand how important it is to build family relationships based on mutual respect, their ideas about family values and spouses are adequate. The second group of students (54.6%) is not fully aware of the importance of the family. Their knowledge is fragmentary and subjective. They do not possess adequate self-esteem and strive for self-education. The third group of students (40.6%) low level readiness to create a family. Their knowledge is primitive and superficial, and some of it does not meet the moral standards of the modern family.
The moral readiness of pupils of correctional and educational institutions for family life is divided into several levels. The 1st group with high level of readiness includes 5.4% pupils. They realize how it is important to build the family relationships on the basis of mutual respect, they have adequate ideas about family ideals and marriage partner. The 2nd group of pupils (54.6%) do not completely realize the meaning of the family. Their knowledge is fragmentary and personal. They can't value themselves enough and aspire to the self education. The 3rd group of pupils (40.6%) has a low level of readiness for creating the family. Their knowledge is primitive and superficial and some of them do not correspond to the moral norms of the modern family.
Keywords: social adaptation, mentally retarded schoolchildren, motives for marriage, marriage and family relations, readiness for family life, family strength criteria, family-role relations.
Keywords: social adaptation, mentally handicapped schoolchildren, motives for marriage, marriage-familial relations, readiness for familial life, criteria of familial
strength, family-role relations.
The social adaptation of a person in society requires him to have a variety of knowledge and skills, which are necessary both in the production and non-production spheres. On
the formation in mentally retarded students of the knowledge and skills necessary in family life, in addition to environmental factors, is also influenced by purposeful work to prepare the future family man,
carried out at school. Its effectiveness, first of all, is associated with overcoming the influence of the characteristics of the social development of students, which makes it difficult to form this quality, and the full use of the possibilities of the educational process, which favor the preparation of mentally retarded boys and girls for family life.
We proceeded from the fact that future spouses, newlyweds should have knowledge in the following areas:
Moral-psychological,
Medical and hygienic.
In the literature, we found two approaches to defining the essence of the concept of readiness for family life. The first is focused on establishing readiness for the final result - the success of marriage, the harmony of interpersonal relationships in the family, proper education children. Due to the lack of the possibility of prompt assessment of the results of education, which is so delayed in time, most researchers insist on determining the moral readiness of students for family life before their marriage, which is pedagogically more appropriate.
So, if we accept as a fundamental second approach and judge readiness for family life before the start of family and marriage relations (i.e., without having verified data on the real behavior of graduates as subjects of the system of intra-family relations), then the question naturally arises about the criteria for such readiness. The necessary criteria for the moral and psychological readiness of students for independent family life are:
The presence of ideas about the ideal of family life;
Self-assessment as a future family man;
Knowledge about the moral and psychological foundations of family life, ways of relationships in the family, their regulation and control;
Relevant moral feelings facilitating relationships in the marriage and family environment, increasing the stability of marriage (empathy, sympathy, responsibility, responsiveness, sociability, compliance, tolerance, and others);
Moral behavior that determines the attitude towards parents, members of the opposite sex and other people.
Questionnaire survey of special (correctional) high school students Schools VIII type was, first of all, aimed at identifying moral and psychological readiness for family life in an ethnic society. A total of 118 students of grades 8-9 of specialized boarding schools in Makhachkala and Derbent were interviewed.
In accordance with the developed criteria, as well as with the help of a written survey based on a standardized questionnaire, we investigated the level of readiness of high school students for independent family life.
Let us proceed to the analysis of the results of our study.
To the question: “From what sources do you get knowledge about married life? responses were received as shown in Table 1.
Table 1
Sources of awareness of mentally retarded students about marriage and family relations (in %)
No. Sources of information about family marital relations
of respondents 118 books movies movies friends and acquaintances own observations parents teachers other sources
Boys 60 2.7 15.6 41.6 14.3 10.4 11.7 3.7
Girls 58 3.7 17.0 37.3 11.7 11.3 19.0
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Data analysis showed that teachers, schools have become sources of information on marriage and family relations, love is only for a sixth of high school students, and peers, friends occupy in this information leading place.
It is important to note that knowledge in the field of intimate relationships, family and marriage, acquired by high school students in groups of free communication, is often one-sided, maximalist, distorted, but, as a rule, is acquired firmly. The cultivation of a cynical attitude towards friendship and love is reflected in the formation of an irresponsible attitude of young people towards the choice of a future life partner, the creation of a family.
It turned out that 11.3% of mothers talk with girls, mainly about the rules of personal hygiene. 10.4% of mothers do this kind of work with boys. Fathers, as a rule, do not take part in these conversations, occasionally limiting themselves to moralizing. Many parents avoid talking to their children about the consequences of early sexual intimacy, sexually transmitted diseases, and so on. This circumstance confirms our assumption that the parental families of mentally retarded children, most of whom are among the disadvantaged, are not able to convey timely, complete, scientific knowledge about the family, although they have personal life experience. For 17% of students, the source of information about this area of knowledge was television, cinema, and therefore they receive scattered information about various aspects of family life.
Representations of mentally retarded students
Combined with the child's own observations (14.3%), they constitute a certain stock of initial fragmentary knowledge, which can only be combined into a more harmonious system with the help of a teacher.
During the survey, students answered the question about their readiness for family life.
A significant part of the girls (43.4%) believe that they are well acquainted with the issues of family and marriage, among the boys there were none. Boys specifically (35%), in their opinion, do not follow the source of information on the problems of marriage and family relations, which is why they differ from girls; a significant part of girls showed an increased interest in this side of human relations, which is explained by the desire to start a family.
Thus, significant
some schoolchildren answered this question in the affirmative, which to a certain extent should be considered as overestimated self-esteem, inadequacy of ideas about various aspects of family life or lack of knowledge about the most important aspects of marriage and family relations. This reflects the fact that some students overestimate their capabilities, approach the creation of a family irresponsibly.
The central position in the ideas of mentally retarded high school students about the future family life is occupied by the question of the moral foundations of the creation and functioning of the family. The motives that, according to students, influence the decision of young people to start a family are presented in table 2.
table 2
about the leading motives for marriage (in%)
Motives for marriage Boys Girls
a) desire to live together with a loved one 33.8 32.1
b) fear of being alone 2.5 1.9
c) the beauty of the husband (wife) 26 35.8
d) human qualities of the wife (husband): attentiveness, kindness, etc. 4 3.7
Psychological and pedagogical sciences
e) desire to have a family 27.2 17
f) desire to have children 4 7.5
g) the desire to take care of loved ones, loved ones 2.5 2
According to our data, the leading place in the forecast of marriage motivation, according to 33.8% of boys and 32.1% of girls, is occupied by "the desire to live together with a loved one." Orientation towards marriage for love is more often manifested in high school students from single-parent families. At the same time, most adolescents assume that love is not only a necessary, but also a sufficient condition for future family happiness. Moreover, the personal meaning of love as the basis of marriage for mentally retarded high school students from single-parent families is largely determined by their desire to compensate for the emotional discomfort they experience in the parental family. At the same time, the obtained distribution of motives in the
to some extent reflects the students' own intentions. This is evidenced by the correlation of such motives as “the desire to start a family”, “the desire to have children”. Mentally retarded adolescents attach significant importance to the appearance of the future chosen one, while underestimating the importance of psychological and moral maturity.
The combination of this aspiration with insufficient personal maturity and the lack of full-fledged life experience increases the likelihood that high school students of special (correctional) schools of the VIII type will develop inadequate, idealized ideas about family life compared to normally developing peers.
Table 3
The main criteria for the strength of the family (in%).
Life values families Boys Girls
a) material well-being 7.8 9.5
b) mutual understanding 11.7 5.6
c) love 39 39.6
d) having children 3.9 5.7
e) unity of interests 6.4 -
f) health of family members 20.8 22.6
g) fair distribution housework 10,4 17
We were interested in the students' answers to the question of what criteria are the main ones for the preservation and strength of the family. The choice of criteria can be judged by the results presented in Table 3.
It is important to note that the indicators characterizing the orientation of boys and girls to the values of family life indicated below differ in the groups of mentally retarded high school students from various types parent families.
Moreover, according to the level of formation of value orientations on the importance
the most basic foundations of family strength boys and girls from prosperous families are superior to their peers from families with a low level of moral relations between parents. Thus, students from families with a high level of moral and psychological relations attach more importance to the love of spouses as the basis of a happy marriage, they evaluate mutual understanding in the family more favorably than students from dysfunctional families. The choice by high school students from dysfunctional families of such a criterion of family strength,
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as material well-being, may indicate difficult material living conditions in the parental family.
As for the rest of the criteria for the strength of the family, the views of both groups do not differ significantly.
The health of family members as the basis for family preservation was recognized by 22.6% of girls and 20.8% of boys. On the issue of a fair division of labor in family life, the views of boys and girls differed significantly. 17% of girls and 10.4% of boys are supporters of a fair division of labor. Children, according to students, have the least influence on strengthening marriage and family relations. This statement is formed in adolescents under the influence of the parental family, where a mentally retarded child does not receive proper attention, care, maternal warmth, is deprived of "spiritual comfort", "a sense of security", growing up in an incomplete family or in an atmosphere of rude, disrespectful relationship between parents.
The students from the experimental classes were asked the question: “What traits of your character can prevent you from creating a happy family?”. In many of the answers given by adolescents, a positive assessment of their personal qualities was traced, the desire to approve it by repeatedly repeating "I have no bad qualities." In the answers of another part of high school students
Representations of mentally retarded padas /
there were judgments of a negative nature, attempts to treat oneself critically, adequately. Among the possible obstacles to creating a family, “rudeness” and “laziness” were mainly named. Few adolescents identified the following negative traits of their character: "stubbornness", "jealousy", "carelessness", "injustice", "greed", "touchiness". Moreover, the girls turned out to be more demanding of themselves, as future wife than young men to themselves as a future husband. Note that the girls in their own characteristics indicated a fairly large number of negative qualities which, in their opinion, may affect the well-being of the future family.
It can be seen from the given moral characterization that the “I”-image of mentally retarded students is somewhat idealized. It is alarming that a significant part of the pupils of the special (correctional) school of the VIII type is not aware of the negative traits of their personality. And this, in turn, negatively affects the regulation of their own behavior in relation to other people, which is especially important in the life of a family team.
In the course of the study, we also paid attention to studying the ideas of mentally retarded adolescents about the distribution of roles in the family. The results of answers to the question: “What, in your opinion, should be the relationship between spouses?” are presented in table 4.
) in about family-role relations (in %)
Relationships in the family Boys Girls
a) the wife is subordinate to her husband 62.3 15.1
b) the husband is subordinate to his wife 6.4 52.8
c) equality and mutual concessions 18.2 20.8
d) respect and trust 13.1 11.3
It turned out that for many girls, a leadership orientation is typical.
in women in the family. Youths like
Psychological and pedagogical sciences
As a rule, the role of leader in family life is assigned to a man.
This position is mainly held by boys and girls from incomplete families. After all, it is in an incomplete family that there is often no model of male behavior that stimulates the formation of a male role in boys and a prototype of a partner in girls. Accordingly, an example personal life mother, disappointed in her ex-husband, has a strong influence on her daughter, which further affects her performance as a wife. Comparing the results of the answers of the subjects, we see that in a number of judgments there are attempts to come closer to understanding family relations as harmonious, based on respect and trust, equality and mutual concessions.
The responses of adolescents to questions about what they consider to be the business of a woman (man) in the family are indicative. A great similarity in the views of young men and women was observed in the assessment of the household duties of a man and a woman in family life. The students' answers testify to the importance for them of the economic function of the spouses. The views of young men and women are differentiated according to the principles of the distribution of labor duties in the family. Most of the young men give the leadership in the conduct and execution of household chores to the woman, leaving the function of an assistant to the man, mainly in buying food and repairing household appliances. Some young men (20%) showed their willingness to equally participate in the performance of any household work with their future spouse, denying the division of duties into "male" and "female". It is on the woman that teenage boys are given the main responsibility for the family, organization and housekeeping.
Among girls, there are more of those who expect from a man (future spouse)
ha) equal participation in the economic life of the family. However, in 35% of cases, girls assign a woman the role of the head of the family both in organizing, distributing, and performing labor duties in the family. The vast majority of girls believe that it is equally the responsibility of both parents to take care of a child and to engage in his upbringing. Some young men (28.5%) of women entrust the care of the child, and the responsibility for raising children (42.8%) is on themselves.
Thus, the majority of mentally retarded high school students prefer the situational distribution of household duties. Pupils of special (correctional) schools of the VIII type are not sufficiently oriented towards such a distribution of everyday roles that would take into account the psychological characteristics of men and women, as well as personal inclinations and individual characteristics of spouses.
It turned out that girls from complete families made more demands on a man in terms of household chores in the family than their peers from single-parent families. The limited understanding of the roles of "master" and "hostess" among mentally retarded students from single-parent families is explained by the lack of a primary model of the family with its family and domestic relations, in which the rights and obligations of spouses are manifested.
We asked the adolescent subjects the question: “What household chores are you responsible for doing?” The absolute majority answered that they take part in household activities (65.4%). At the same time, a significant part of the respondents live in rural areas, having a personal subsidiary plot. Therefore, the answers of high school students were distributed as follows:
a) assistance in caring for the home and family members: cleaning the apartment, washing linen,
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grocery shopping, cooking and other household chores;
b) participation in the cultivation of a garden plot: planting garden plantations, weeding vegetables, watering plants, harvesting, etc.;
c) backyard activities: pet care, fodder preparation, etc.
It should be noted that 48.4% of boys and girls do their homework forcibly. Approximately 34.6% of girls and boys do not consider family activities their business, showing a low quality of involvement in the system of intra-family relations.
Depending on the attitude to family work, we divided the students into 3 groups:
1. Positive attitude towards housework (6.8% of boys, 10.4% of girls). These students think obligatory by all family members of the household, as it contributes to the strength of the family. These children have constant responsibilities that they systematically perform.
Characteristics of the standard
2. Indifferent to domestic work (27% of boys, 21.5% of girls). Girls and boys of this group, although they take part in domestic work, but under duress, when adults require it from them.
3. Negative attitude towards domestic work (25.4% of boys, 9.3% of girls). Representatives of this group do not understand the content of domestic work, consider it uninteresting, do not participate in it, because they do not have time or they are simply too lazy.
Based on the analysis of the questionnaire, we also came to the conclusion that there is a significant difference in the groups of high school students, differentiated by the typology of parental families. Students who are brought up in prosperous families are more willing and much more likely to help their parents in housekeeping compared to children from families with a low level of moral relations between parents.
Table 5
qualities of a future wife
Qualities absolute rank percentage rank indicator (boys)
Kindness 1 15.5
Beauty 2 14.3
Housekeeping 3 13
Love for husband 4 11.7
Respect 5 11.7
Loyalty 6 10.4
Accuracy 7 6.4
Tenderness 8 5.3
Mindfulness 9 5.2
Mutual assistance 10 4
Other qualities 11 2.5
Table 6
Characteristics of the reference qualities of the future spouse
Qualities absolute rank percentage rank indicator (girls)
Beauty 1 19
Kindness 2 17
Sense of humor 3 13.2
Psychological and pedagogical sciences
Diligence 4 11.3
Accuracy 5 9.4
Tenderness 7 7.5
Mindfulness 8 5.7
Education 9 3.8
Ability to take care of a family 10 3.8
Other qualities 11 1.8
We set the task to study the content of mentally retarded students' ideas about the reference qualities of a future marriage partner.
The subjects were asked to answer the question: “What, in your opinion, should be the ideal spouse?” We have ranked the qualities in descending order of frequency of fixation. The ranking sequence of qualities is highlighted. In the structure of the image of the future chosen one, adolescents noted the following components: features of appearance, personal qualities, household skills and abilities. The results of the answers are presented in tables 5.6.
Such qualities as beauty, kindness, sense of humor, diligence are the most significant reference qualities of the future life partner, from the point of view of the respondents. The following qualities are noticeably less important: mind, strength, tenderness, accuracy. In the system of communicative qualities, according to the girls, a high rank is occupied by love and respect for a wife. A small part of teenagers understands that common culture is important in love: good manners, the ability to be attentive, polite, affectionate. Among the significant personal qualities of the young men include fidelity as an important requirement for each other in marriage. According to some subjects, an essential component in family life is the ability of the spouse to lead a sober lifestyle, as well as the ability of the wife to monitor her
attractiveness, to be "well-groomed".
An analysis of the responses received indicates a certain one-sided understanding of the problems of communication between a man and a woman by students. Only a few people indicated that love includes mutual assistance, showing concern for other family members. But mutual assistance is also the fulfillment of certain household duties, but, above all, a direct and unceasing interest in the life of another.
The study of descriptions of the image of the future spouse allows us to notice that in adolescents from families with an unfavorable psychological climate, he is more idealized as a result of negative life experience. High school students from incomplete families have insufficient content and low differentiation of ideas about the future marriage partner. Boys and girls from morally prosperous families have better-formed orientations towards the upbringing of children by both spouses. They more adequately assess the role of family education in the formation of personality.
Consequently, the lack of formation of ideas about the husband (wife) as a spouse and family man among mentally retarded schoolchildren entails inadequacy of ideas about marriage and family life in general.
Students have an ideal family life (in %)
Table 7
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Ideal family Boys Girls
a) parents 2.6 7.6
b) relatives 17 13.2
c) heroes of movies, books 6.5 11.3
d) good friends 11.6 15.1
e) created in dreams 36.3 28.3
f) find it difficult to answer 26 24.5
The structure and characteristics of the life of parental families influence the image of the future husband (wife) created by adolescents. The above is confirmed by the answers of students to the question “Which of the families is an example, an ideal for you at present?” (Table 7).
The data obtained indicate that the number of respondents who named the parental family as an ideal and identifying the life of the future family with the parental one, amounted to only 7.6%. Difficulties of almost a third of students in answering this question testify to the lack of formation, fuzziness
the ideal of family life; extremely low influence on its formation of literature. For many high school students, an imaginary family is a model of family and marriage relations, and in real life Families of relatives and friends serve as examples.
So, by processing the questionnaires filled in by students, the protocols of conversations, we were able to obtain a quantitative expression of the levels of moral and psychological readiness of mentally retarded high school students for family life.
In accordance with the data obtained, 3 levels were identified - high, medium, low.
The group with a high level of moral and psychological readiness for family life included 5.4% of students in the senior classes of special (correctional) schools of type VIII. They are characterized by quite complete
knowledge about the role of the family in human life and society. They understand the need to build relationships in the family on the basis of mutual respect, understanding, trust, goodwill. These students have adequate, real ideas about the ideal of a family, a marriage partner. They tend to strive to improve their knowledge about marriage, the family, they have a need to acquire experience, skills and abilities necessary for future family life.
Mentally retarded students with an average level of moral and psychological readiness for family life (54.6%) are characterized by an incomplete awareness of the importance of the family for the development of the individual and the functioning of society. Their knowledge of the moral foundations of the family is fragmentary, not personally significant enough. Realizing the need for mutual assistance, respect, understanding in relations between people, the students of this group themselves do not always know how to show them. They have inaccurate ideas about the ideal of the family, the future marriage partner. Boys and girls with an average level of formation of the moral foundations of family life have insufficiently developed self-esteem, the desire for self-education.
The third group included 40% of students with a low level of moral and psychological readiness. Mentally retarded high school students of this level have distorted ideas about the role of the family in the life of society and its significance for the development of the individual. Knowledge about
Psychological and pedagogical sciences
the moral foundations of family life are superficial, primitive, and some do not meet the moral standards of the modern family. In joint activities with persons of the opposite sex, they are distinguished by irresponsibility, tactlessness, inability to take into account the opinions, interests, habits of others. Ideas about the ideal of the family, the future chosen one are not formed, far from reality, the desire to engage in self-education is not manifested.
low average high level level level
Rice. 1. Quantitative expression of the levels of moral and psychological readiness
attitudes of mentally retarded high school students to family life
The results of this study are shown in fig. 1.
Thus, the low level of orientation of mentally retarded schoolchildren in matters related to gender relations, relations between spouses, the protection of their own health and the health of others, the lack of life experience are the result of the fact that insufficient attention is paid to the issues of preparing children for creating a family. Therefore, the need to introduce into the program for social orientation is obvious. additional information in such sections as "Medical Care", "Personal Hygiene", "Family", "Culture of Behavior", contributing to the preparation of the younger generation for family life. It is extremely important to identify the most effective forms work with parents on the issues of familiarizing them with understanding the problems of family and marriage, improving the psychological
pedagogical culture, the inclusion of children in various areas family life.
Notes
1. Azarov Yu.P. Family Pedagogy In: Pedagogy of love and freedom. - M.: Topikal, 1994. - 607 p. 2. Grebennikov I.V. Fundamentals of family life. - M.: Enlightenment, 1991. - 96 p. 3. Denisova E.N. Formation of ideas about inter-gender and family-role relations of mentally retarded adolescents in the process of remedial education and upbringing: Abstract of the thesis. dis. ... cand. pedagogical sciences - M., 1998. - 19 p. 4. Zubkov V.N. Didactic foundations for the interaction of educational institutions and the family in preparing the younger generation for family life: Abstract of the thesis. dis. ... cand. ped. Sciences. - M., 1996. - 25 p. 5. Karvyalis V.Yu. On the families of former pupils of special schools for abnormal children // Defectology. No. 4. 1975. - S.28-34. 6. Pavlova N.P. The SBO system of secondary school students // Defectology. No. 1. 1991. - S. 53-58. 7. Raku A.I. Interaction of the auxiliary school and the family in the social adaptation of students. - Chisinau, 1982. - 143 p. 8. Saidov T.G. Preparing youth for family life. - Makhachkala, 1989. - 77 p. 9. Social and household orientation in special (correctional) educational institutions of the VIII type: A guide for the teacher // Т.А. Devyatkova, L.L. Kochetova, A.G. Petrikova and others / Ed. A.M. Shcherbakova. - M.: Vlados, 2003. - 302 p. 10. Suvorova A.G. The problem of preparing young people for independent family life // Sociological problems of education and upbringing. - M.: Pedagogy, 1973. - S.182-207. 11. Cherepanova I.I. Pedagogical Conditions for Improving the Socially Adaptive Capabilities of Students with Disabilities intellectual development: (On the example of teaching economic geography): Abstract of the thesis. dis. ... cand. ped. Sciences / Uralsk, state. ped. university - Yekaterinburg, 2002. - 23 p. 12. Shtilbans V.I. The culture of marriage. - M.: Knowledge, 1990. - 16 p. 13. Shcherbakova A.M., Moskalenko
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N.V. Formation of social competence among high school students of special educational institutions of the Vll-ro type // Defectology. 2001. No. 3. - P.19. and No. 4. - P.31.
EXPLANATORY NOTE.
The task of an educational institution is to prepare students for independent living, to give them the necessary stock of knowledge, skills and abilities for growing up and self-determination. But even the most extensive knowledge cannot protect a person from mistakes, does not guarantee a happy future. Therefore, it is equally important to teach the student to take care of his health, to build his life and relationships with others correctly. IN modern world There are many temptations and not everyone is able to resist them. Only a strong, loving family can protect a person from the destructive influence of modern life, support him in Hard time and help to survive without care in alcoholism and drug addiction.
The problem of the spread of alcoholism and drug addiction among children and adolescents is one of the most acute problems of modern Russian society. The urgency of the problem is determined by the change in the situation in the country, the main trend of which is a catastrophic increase in the number of alcohol and drug addicts, especially among adolescents. The spread of drug addiction has taken on rampant proportions over the past decades and has acquired the character of a social disaster. Economic instability, the loss of clear life prospects by young people, the impoverishment of spiritual culture, the crisis of the family and the inability of law enforcement agencies to resist the intensification of the drug mafia in the country have led to the fact that more and more young people are involved in drug use.
An analysis of the narcological situation in the country testifies to the systemic nature of the problems associated with the distribution and use of psychoactive substances.
Psychoactive substances (PAS) have become part of a youth subculture that spreads through shared leisure and the media. New values appear in society, but at the same time, the importance of family relations, parenthood and the moral foundations of relationships is reduced.
The crisis of the family provokes adolescents to use psychoactive substances, which in turn leads them to the inability and unwillingness to create their own families, have children and build a reasonable future. " Dysfunctional families” demonstrate patterns of alcohol and drug abuse, dysfunctional and conflict families develop a tolerant attitude towards bad habits and affective behavior. In prosperous families, anxiety for children and their future results in overprotection and control, which leads to the desire of children to break free and try the forbidden fruit. The issue of raising boys is especially acute, as they are more prone to bad habits, and they often form addictions, and therefore the life expectancy of men is much lower than that of women. Almost half of the children live in single-parent families, where there is mainly female education. Often boys do not even have an example of male behavior in the family.
Therefore, it is impossible to solve the problem of adolescents' orientation towards a healthy lifestyle without the formation of a conscious and responsible attitude towards creating a family and parenthood. Only realizing that the health of future children depends on the state of his health, a young man or girl will be prudent about his lifestyle.
Taking the parental family as a model of their family life, children often repeat the mistakes of their parents, not being able to find correct solution new methods. Today, when freedom of morals and relationships reigns in society, young people often take the easiest path, refusing true family happiness and choosing temporary relationships and a free lifestyle that are not burdensome. early start intimate life, early involvement in the use of psychoactive substances prevents the personality from developing correctly and confidently building the future, breaks destinies and often leads to depression and hopelessness.
Therefore, the task of preparing students for family life and the conscious birth of children is one of the most important tasks of the school and society as a whole. Only orientation to healthy family and a happy future can help young men and women to preserve their bodies and their souls in modern society.
In the current situation, it is impossible to solve the problem only by punitive methods. Special meaning has preventive work to prevent the involvement of children in drug addiction, preventive measures to promote a healthy lifestyle and conscious choice of life path.
At the same time, standard forms of prevention no longer have the proper result: teenagers are tired of being intimidated by the consequences of their use (they are distant in time), lectures by specialists (filled with scientific terms), conversations and class hours. So, you need to talk with them about what concerns everyone and what is interesting to everyone. This is the theme of the relationship between the sexes.
Not everyone will become a good specialist and reach heights in the profession, but almost everyone wants to meet their soul mate, start a family and have children. It is with the family that most teenagers associate a happy future. The topic of love, choosing a life partner, predicting and planning family relationships is the most relevant for high school students, so it is through preparation for family life that preventive work can be carried out among young people.
The survey conducted by the author for five years on family relations allows us to conclude that the value of family relations is increasing, since it is in the family, in close people, that modern youth is looking for support and support.
This program aims to show the logic of changing life stages: healthy teenager- a self-sufficient person - a full-fledged healthy family - happy children. Young people must understand that being healthy means thinking about the future. It is necessary to promote the fashion for a healthy lifestyle and clean, decent relationships. Only then will we be calm for the future of our country.
The program is designed for 6-10 lessons, which are built arbitrarily, depending on the contingent of students and the competence of a psychologist or teacher. Classes are held both separately for boys and girls (topics related to physiology and hygiene), and jointly. This modification is designed only for the male audience, which is associated with the specifics of training in the cadet corps.
A feature of the program is also the inclusion in it of elements of Cossack education, based on Orthodoxy and the traditions of the Cossacks.
The program can also include elements of training personal growth, confident behavior, increased stress resistance, positive psychotherapy, fairy tale therapy, art therapy.
GOALS:
1. Formation of positive attitudes towards the creation of a family, the birth and upbringing of children.
2. Providing assistance in the implementation of socio-psychological orientation in the problems of inter-gender and marriage and family relations.
3. Prevention of negative personality development and the use of psychoactive substances.
4. Creation of conditions for a conscious choice of a healthy lifestyle.
TASKS:
1. To give students objective information about the physiology and psychology of men and women, about family and marriage relations and the impact of lifestyle on reproductive health.
2. Learn to analyze your own family scenario and correct it in accordance with the positive perception of your role in the future family.
3. Create conditions for graduates to specify their life goals and plans.
4. Combine the educational potential of parents and teachers in creating conditions for the formation of the child's personality.
S T R U K T U R A.
1 BLOCK. "TWO".
Classes for young men on the formation of ideas about the importance of reproductive health, about the conditions for its preservation, about the influence of lifestyle and bad habits on it, about gender differences and the functional roles of men and women.
2 BLOCK. "TWO IS A FAMILY".
Classes on the formation of ideas about family and marriage relations and the conscious choice of a partner, about the factors and conditions for creating a happy family.
3 BLOCK. "TWO AND THIRD".
Formation lessons conscious attitude to the birth of a child, an adequate perception of motherhood and fatherhood, responsibility for the health and upbringing of children.
4 BLOCK. "ACTUALIZATION OF THE PROBLEM".
Lecture with elements of training for teachers "Psychological features of preparing high school students for marriage and conscious parenthood."
Lesson of the parent lecture "The role of the family in the formation of a conscious attitude to the creation of a family and parenthood."
BLOCK "TWO".
REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH AND PROSPECTS FOR CREATING A FAMILY.
Everything starts with love!
They say: "In the beginning was the word."
And I proclaim again:
Everything starts with love!
Everything starts with love.
And illumination, and work,
The eyes of flowers, the eyes of a child -
Everything starts with love.
Everything starts with love.
With love! I know it for sure.
Everything, even hatred - dear
And the eternal sister of love.
Everything starts with love:
Dream and fear, wine and gunpowder.
Tragedy, longing and feat -
Everything starts with love...
Spring whispers to you: "Live" ...
And you shake from a whisper.
And straighten up and start.
Everything starts with love!
Robert Rozhdestvensky
What do we know about family life? What we see in our family, we hear from friends and on TV, we read in books and magazines.
Are you ready to become a husband and father when we get married? Are there any family and children in your long-term plans? Or is a man realized only in work, hobbies and communication with friends?
*Exercise "Ranking values":
Write down the seven things that are most important to you in life (family, love, career, fame, wealth, children, etc.)
Rank them in order of importance.
A pivot table is made on the board.
Discussion.
It seems that it is so natural: to get married, give birth to a child, then wait for grandchildren ... Why think about this in advance? But if it were so simple, there would be no terrible figures: every second wedding ends in divorce, 50% of children are brought up in single-parent families.
What knowledge do you lack in order to properly build your relationship with the opposite sex? (discussion).
One of the most important for a person is knowledge about their reproductive health.
reproductive health This is an opportunity to become a father, to give birth to a healthy child. It consists in clear work endocrine glands responsible for the maturation of germ cells, and normal condition the whole organism.
*Statistics data;
Only two out of ten newborns are practically healthy;
A third of men over 30 are not able to have children,
The average life expectancy of men in Russia is 58 years,
Among men, there are several times more alcoholics, drug addicts, AIDS patients, tuberculosis, cardiovascular diseases, hepatitis,
Married men live an average of five years longer than unmarried men.
*Factors affecting reproductive health:
With an unbalanced diet, obesity or the use of harmful foods, the metabolism is disturbed and the hormonal system fails. A large number of sweets, food dyes, dietary supplements also disrupt metabolism. Eat more vegetables, fish, lean meats, grains and dairy products. The use of anabolic steroids, peptides and a large amount of vitamins leads to disruption of the production of sex hormones.
It primarily affects the respiratory system. Lung cancer is thirty times more common in smokers than non-smokers. Men get lung cancer eight times more often than women. They are 6-10 times more likely to have cancer of the larynx and esophagus. Smoker's obstructive bronchitis develops in anyone who has been a regular smoker for more than five years. Smokers suffer from cardiovascular (hypertension, angina pectoris, heart attack, stroke, endarteritis) lower extremities) and the nervous system (headaches, scattered attention, problems with coordination, irritability).
Smoking adversely affects sexual function. In smoking men, sperm motility decreases by one and a half times, and the level of testosterone in the blood decreases. The level of potency decreases. Sexologists refuse to treat a man until he quits smoking.
A smoking man usually doesn't mind if his girlfriend smokes. But on female body Smoking is even more damaging.
Half of women who smoke are at risk of miscarriage during pregnancy. Smokers are 20% more likely to have preterm births. The average weight of newborns in smokers is lower by 250 grams. The mortality rate of newborns is 40% higher, especially at the first birth. The newborn of a smoking mother is pale, has a yellowish skin color, they are more likely to have epilepsy, hydrocephalus and developmental delay. Smoking during breastfeeding leads to digestive disorders and poisoning of the child, because. nicotine passes into milk. These children are more likely to develop anemia. Imagine if mother and father smoke at the same time? Not only is the child already born weakened, but he also becomes a passive smoker from the cradle.
ALCOHOL.
The approximate period of formation of alcohol dependence is three to five years. Alcohol affects all organ systems, as well as metabolism. Decreased production of sex hormones premature aging and impotence.
If alcohol affects the formation of spermatozoa, then they carry various gene disorders, so father's drunkenness is no less dangerous than mother's drunkenness. Although today, expectant parents often drink together. When exposed to the fetus, alcohol causes damage to the fetus, because. the liver of the fetus does not have enzymes that break down alcohol. Alcohol is especially dangerous at 7-11 weeks of pregnancy, when a woman is often not yet sure of her pregnancy. Often the child has external deformities or disorders of the nervous system ( bad memory, concentration of attention, aggression, predisposition to alcoholism). Energy drinks (contain caffeine) are addictive.
Men often drink "for company", to be their own in a certain circle or to appear more determined and independent ("for courage"). The proverb: “As drunk, so is the captain, but if he oversleeps, he is afraid of the pig.”
DRUGS.
Lead to gene mutations, deformities, hereditary diseases, brain damage. The child of drug addicts has a congenital addiction, often not viable. Drug addicts often suffer from hepatitis C, AIDS, and venereal diseases. Given that the life span of drug addicts is short, family and children cease to be a significant goal for many.
Formation of dependence occurs from the first to the tenth dose, opiates - in two weeks lead to severe dependence. Synthetic drugs work faster.
(It is advisable to devote one or two lessons to the problem of the formation of drug addiction).
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES.
AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, chlamydia, genital herpes - 70% of these diseases are asymptomatic. Dangerous for the fetus. Threatened with infertility. Many lead to a generalized lesion of the body, especially with improper treatment. (it is advisable to invite a specialist - a urologist or a dermatovenereologist).
MENTAL HEALTH.
For the formation and functioning of the gonads is very important psychological comfort. Stress greatly affects the hormonal background, especially during the period of growing up. The reproductive health of a child depends on the situation in the family, environment and self-perception. It is common for a man to have a certain level of aggression. Aggression can be useful (sport, self-defense, achieving a goal) and destructive (harmful to someone or something). Verbal aggression harms both the person at whom it is directed and the speaker himself. (Discuss the problem of foul language and its impact on a person). Auto-aggression is aimed at self-destruction (dependence, suicide). (It is necessary to discuss forms of aggressive behavior and options for avoiding aggression).
Fashion for uncomfortable clothes leads to improper formation of internal organs, inflammatory diseases (jeans, leather clothes, tight underwear). Fashion for piercing leads to dermatoses, allergies, sepsis. Hairstyles (mohawk, dreadlocks, emo and ready hairstyles) spoil the hair structure. Lifestyle fashion (night parties, extreme sports) weakens the body or exposes it to unnecessary stress, especially in combination with energy drinks, alcoholic drinks, smoking and drugs (ecstasy, screw, cocaine).
*Gender differences between men and women.
|
Breathe from the chest Heart beats 80 times per minute 15% more body fat Average height 164 cm |
Breathe belly Heart beats 70 times per minute 20% more muscle tissue Average height 176 cm |
|
Brain weight 12% less Blood circulation in the brain is 1.3 times more active Both hemispheres can work simultaneously |
The left hemisphere is more developed The hemispheres take turns |
|
Immunity is 1.5 times stronger |
More prone to infections Autoimmune diseases like multiple sclerosis are 3 times more common |
|
Peripheral vision is well developed, but the eye is poorly developed |
Better recognition of the direction and distance to the sound source Have narrowly focused (tunnel) vision, poorly distinguish details |
|
The body contains five times more gold |
One and a half times more sweat glands |
|
Skin is one and a half times thinner |
Body temperature is 0.2 degrees higher |
|
Associative thinking is better developed, but it is difficult to concentrate on one thing |
Better logical thinking |
Are physiological differences related to the characteristics of the worldview of men and women? Is it easy for people of different genders to understand each other?
*Love and infatuation.
Androgynous legend. Finding your soul mate is looking for love.
*Game "Associations":
What do you associate the word "love" with?
If love is a flower, what is it?
If love is the weather, what is it?
If love is food, what is it?
If love is a season, then what?
*IDEALIZATION.
The lover sees in the beloved what others do not see. They see coal, it is a diamond. But one day the veils of idealization fall off, and a person sees coal. This scares one and he leaves. Another understands that this is the most valuable coal in the world and takes it for himself. And the third with his love turns coal into a diamond. The joy of recognition is followed by the joy of work.
*STYLES OF LOVE.
Love is an adventure.
Love.
Love is a guarantee
Love is romance.
Love is torture.
Love is patience. (Examples and discussion).
* EARLY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS.
Premarital sex: causes and consequences. different approach Boys and girls have different motives.
- How do you understand the words of Rasul Gamzatov: “Who stretches his hands to unripe plums? Who drinks unfermented wine?
Discussion of the survey results:
Consider sexual relations unacceptable before marriage -30%
Consider possible as a bride and groom-34%
They consider it possible without the prospect of creating a family - 36%
-Your opinion?
V. A. Sukhomlinsky; “A young man who demands from a girl to meet his sexual desires is often a child in terms of his moral development. But the child is not harmless, but terrible. The scary thing is that he can become a father. It's like letting a baby in its cradle play with a loaded gun."
-How do you understand these words? Your opinion?
* MARRIAGE AND FAMILY.
Society can exist without marriage, but not without family. According to statistics, 78% of adults live in a family, of which one third - in civil marriage. Each the second family is getting divorced.
The institution of marriage is undergoing changes, but the basic functions of the family are preserved, although their significance is changing.
(Discuss the content and meaning of the functions of the modern family.)
*COURTSHIP.
Psychological tasks of this period:
Determination of a model of behavior in communication with specific person. Accumulation of experience of communication with the opposite sex.
Establishing personal relationships (what is she with me, what am I with her).
Establishing relationships with her environment, relatives and friends. Accumulation of information about the way of the family and traditions.
Finding out the ideas of the chosen one about the future family life.
The solution to the question: do I need marriage in general and with this person in particular.
Addressing the issue of premarital sexual relations.
R. Short, American psychologist: "The intimate relationship between a man and a woman is a gift from God to newlyweds, and gifts are not opened ahead of time."
K. Lorentz, Nobel Prize winner: “Sloppy desire for immediate satisfaction of desires, a complete lack of attention to the feelings of others - all these are quite typical properties of young children, they are quite forgivable. Patient work for a distant goal, responsibility for one's actions, respect for the feelings and fears of another person, a conscious expectation of joy - these are the norms of behavior inherent in adults.
-Do you agree with these statements?
* BRAIN STORM "Components of family happiness."
*STRUCTURE OF RELATIONSHIPS IN MARRIAGE:
“I + and You +” (two equivalent self-sufficient personalities), “I +, and You -” (I am better than you, I made you happy), “I am, and You +” (you are better than me, you made me happy),
"I - and You -" (two loneliness met, I'm looking for the missing qualities in you, it's easier to survive together).
-Give examples, discuss.
* STAGES OF FAMILY DEVELOPMENT:
idealization; distribution of responsibilities, definition of spheres of influence and rights; formation of the image of a husband and wife, stabilization, crises.
-Consider examples. Role-playing games.
* EXERCISE "Marriage Announcement".
Write about yourself and your desired life partner.
-Is it easy to formulate your requirements and describe yourself?
* EXERCISE "Princess in a golden carriage":
On eight squares we write the qualities of the future spouse, which are fundamentally important for you.
One young man decided to marry. But not a single girl in the area met his requirements. When he imagined his betrothed, he saw her as a Princess in a golden carriage, against the backdrop of a blue sky and endless meadows, in a blooming spring country. She was a blue-eyed blonde with long curly hair, smart, but with a meek disposition. Time passed, but the princess did not appear. And one day the young man noticed that a hot summer had come in his dreams, the grass turned yellow and withered. With regret, he had to part with the first element of his dream. And you will have to part with one of the requirements for your princess (put a piece of paper with one quality aside).
After summer came autumn. Thunderclouds covered the sky, it became lead and heavy. The young man realized that the blue sky is not the main component of his dream. And you will have to part with one more desired quality of the chosen one.
Nevertheless, the young man continued to dream, but he began to notice that in his dreams the light golden curls of the princess began to change color. He no longer cared what color her hair was. And you part with one more quality.
Then it didn’t matter to him whether his bride would have blue or brown eyes. And you remove one more quality.
Time passed, the young man turned into a man, but he was still not married. Around all the brides have already married, and now any would fit him. One more quality you remove.
Finally, already desperate to get married, the man thought: “The main thing is that the person be good,” and stopped dreaming. Remove one more quality and see what you're left with.
What qualities are most important to you? Which qualities did you give up with ease, and which were you able to remove with difficulty? Is the image of your chosen one real?? Compare the characteristics of your chosen one with the marriage announcement. What qualities are more important in family life?
*ROLE GAME "FAMILY SITUATIONS".
Analysis of real family situations proposed by the guys (solving the issue of children, choosing a vacation spot, shopping, returning late from work, meeting friends, hobbies, etc.).
* BRAIN STORM “Code of Rules for Family Life”.
EXAMPLE CODE OF RULES:
Learn to trust each other and respect the opinion of the other.
Always be kind, often remind her and yourself that you love each other.
Consider the opinion of the other, do not forget to consult.
Do not try to remake your spouse, find compromise solutions.
Learn to speak calmly and listen carefully.
Rejoice in the achievements of another and do not blame him for your problems.
Treat him the way you would like him to treat you.
*REASONS FOR COOLING FEELINGS IN MARRIAGE.
The virtues of a spouse are taken for granted, while the faults are conspicuous. Applying stricter requirements to a spouse than to oneself.
Unwillingness to adapt and look for compromises.
Misunderstanding that family life is a daily work.
Ignorance of yourself and your spouse.
The mistake of choosing a partner.
*CULTURE OF RELATIONSHIPS IN MARRIAGE.
1. Relationships between family members.
Marina Tsvetaeva: “In a family, as in society, you need the ability and tact to behave. These qualities are acquired by education, and due to the lack of the latter, they are often prompted by the heart. But sometimes, unfortunately, the heart is silent, and frivolity allows us to consider the family a place where everything is allowed, where it’s ridiculous to be shy, where respect, courtesy, courtesy, which are reserved exclusively for outsiders, are not needed.
Your opinion?
2. Differences between a man and a woman in sexual requests.
Women are more focused on trust and intimacy, they are more willing to take care of their husbands. Men are more attracted to the physical side of relationships and the observance of certain rules and rituals in the family. It is important to be aware of the differences in the male and female perception of the world. In women, sexual desire is the continuation of a romantic relationship with her husband. For them, tenderness, attention and care are more important than the physical side of marriage. For men, sex is valuable in itself, sometimes without spiritual intimacy and mutual understanding. For him, appearance, attractiveness and his own viability as a man are important.
3. At certain stages of marriage, problems arise for everyone, they need and can be solved. The main thing is to be able to talk to each other and hear your partner. If there is no mutual understanding and trust, small problems will grow into crisis situations. Lies and silence of problems are unacceptable. Crises: the first year of life, the birth of children, the departure of children from the family, midlife crisis, aging.
* DIVORCE, THEIR CAUSES AND CONSEQUENCES..
Factors that threaten family stability:
Negative relationships in the parental family, which prevents children from learning
properly build your relationship in marriage.
There is a very large gap in social status, level of education and traditions.
Forced marriage due to the bride's pregnancy or the wishes of the parents.
Short period of premarital acquaintance (less than a year).
Negative attitude of parents to this marriage.
Too early marriage.
Age difference over 10 years.
Absence of children.
Distorted ideas about family life.
Alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling.
* DISCUSSION OF STATISTICAL DATA:
Half of marriages in Russia break up.
The average age of those who divorce is 27-28 years.
More divorces in marriages with an experience of 7-9 years (addiction, the appearance of children, physical and psychological fatigue) -65%
- “Average marriages” - 10-19 years old - 24% of divorces (dissimilarity of characters and ideas about life is being clarified).
- “Elderly marriages” - over 20 years (separation of children, drunkenness and alcoholism, betrayal) -12%.
* CONSEQUENCES OF DIVORCE.
Women: financial difficulties, raising children without a husband, limiting the creation of a new family (if there are children), difficulties in professional growth.
Men: limited communication with children, emotional dissatisfaction, domestic difficulties, poor health.
Children: stress, lack of attention from father and mother, distorted ideas about family and relationships, material difficulties.
Remarriage: pros and cons? Relations with the children of the new chosen one, relations with the abandoned children? Can a man raise children on his own?
BLOCK "TWO AND THIRD".
*RANKING OF VALUES:
Career, Children, Hobbies, Recreation, Relationship with husband, Material
well-being.
Where are your children and why?
*EXPRESS - SURVEY "How many children do you want to have?"
*BRAIN STORM: "Can having children make or break a family?"
* PLUSES AND MINUSES OF PARENTING.
* CHANGES IN THE FAMILY WITH THE APPEARANCE OF A CHILD:
Redistribution of family roles,
Reorientation of professional values,
Change in the volume of household duties and communication time.
What else?
*ROLE OF THE MOTHER IN THE FAMILY.
Children are born healthy if they are born to healthy mothers, are desired and are born at the optimal time.
The minimum age for first birth is five years after the start of the menstrual cycle. Before pregnancy, you need to know the health status of the mother and father of the unborn child, hereditary diseases and habits.
You have to be aware; why do we need a child, what problems, difficulties it can bring,
how family life will change after the birth of a child, how roles in the family will be redistributed, are you psychologically ready for the birth of a child.
The psychological state of a woman at the time of conception, during pregnancy and childbirth, her relationship with the father of the child, the joyful or anxious expectation of childbirth - all this affects not only the psyche and personality of the unborn child, but also his perception of life. Unwanted or “accidental” children sometimes feel unhappy all their lives, although the attitude of parents to the fact of their birth has already changed. Throughout life, mother and child maintain a psychological bond that affects both.
After childbirth, the child should be with his mother, which makes it easier for him to get used to the world around him, and allows him to feel protected.
Children who are brought up without a mother or in conditions of lack of love and attention develop poorly, get sick more often, and do not adapt well in life.
A mother should be able to show love: with a word, a gesture, a touch, a look. For a child, mutual communication is very important “eye to eye”, and not in passing. Sometimes it is more important to give time to the child than to wash, iron, etc.
"A child is a vessel, It must be filled to the brim with love, otherwise it is unstable"
A mother's love is absolute and unconditional, while a father's love is won by success and achievement.
The mother is responsible for the inner world of the child and his intra-family position, and the father is responsible for the connection with the outside world. The task of the husband is to create optimal comfortable conditions for his wife during pregnancy and in the first three years after the birth of a child. This is his guarantee good health and stable mind.
* THE ROLE OF THE FATHER IN THE FAMILY.
Most often, the mother takes care of the upbringing in the family. The father is rarely included in the upbringing process, in "emergency" cases. In fact, upbringing consists in a daily example of one's behavior, lifestyle, treatment of family members, attitude towards people. The image of the father is important to both the son and the daughter.
A child whose father, from the cradle, participates in daily care follow him, less afraid strangers and grows more sociable.
The influence of the father makes the child more disciplined. The child learns to measure his desires and obligations to others.
If the father is removed from education, the child develops worse logic, as well as mathematical abilities.
The father teaches the child to build relationships with the outside world, solve problems and behave with women.
Girls who have grown up in paternal love and attention are more self-confident and easier to build relationships with men. Those deprived of fatherly love usually choose the role of "savior" or "sufferer" in their own family. They often marry men much older than themselves.
* TYPES OF PARENTAL PERCEPTION OF THE CHILD:
1 .Owner. The child is an attachment to my personality. He is led and organized by me, because I know how he should live. I see a child through the prism of my desires, emotions , interests. Typical phrases: “He brought me a deuce!”, “Look, don’t get sick to me.” “Don’t you dare jump out to marry me”, “I know better what you
2. " No other family! The parent compares everything with the accepted norm, neighbor, classmate, dreams or knowledge. It teaches you to live not for yourself, but for show. “No one has children so much sitting at TV”, “You have become as dirty as your father.” "All children are like children, but mine ..".
3. "My child needs". Parents solve all the problems of the child, set big goals for him , regardless of real possibilities. “My child cannot study for twos. He will go to college", "We did not send him to school so that he would indulge and study poorly », “You can’t find an approach to my child”, “We have invested so much in you, you don’t have the right to let us down.”
4. " Wait and see". Life is perceived as a set of episodes, each of which needs and can be built in different ways. The parent constantly answers the questions: what today? Why? How to react? What to do? The child is given a certain freedom, he is evaluated today, compared with himself. "What do you think about this?" “What would you like to do?”, “Let’s think”, “Don’t be upset, everything happens in life, we’ll figure it out.”
Has your attitude to the problem of fatherhood changed after our conversation?
LECTURE WITH TRAINING ELEMENTS FOR TEACHERS.
"PSYCHOLOGICAL FEATURES OF PREPARING HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS FOR MARRIAGE AND CONSCIOUS PARENTING."
A feature of the modern family is its small number of children and instability. Almost every second family breaks up due to the inability to build their relationships, prevent conflicts, and compromise.
Studies in the field of schoolchildren's readiness for family relationships show that for high school students, external social and professional activity is the most important, i.e. activities outside the family. At the same time, modern youth have inflated claims in the role of husband and wife, i.e. expect more from their partner than they are going to give themselves.
For many years, the wife was perceived as the guardian of the hearth and the emotional leader of the family. Today, girls are waiting for moral and material support from their husbands. And young men do not want to take on leadership roles in creating a family microclimate, leaving behind the role of a breadwinner. Many young men brought up by mothers and grandmothers are infantile and socially passive.
At the same time, a stable trend has formed in the equal distribution of household duties and the upbringing of children.
75% of boys and 60% of girls consider 20-25 years as the optimal age for marriage. The rest - from 25 to 30 years. Most are positive about trial marriage.
60% of boys and 36% of girls want to have one child, 35% of boys and 59% of girls want two. The remaining 5% do not want to have children or want three or more. Moreover, the vast majority of boys and girls plan to have their first child after 25 years.
Analyzing the reasons for divorces, high school students put treason in the first place:
50% of girls and 67% of boys, in second place is the use of alcohol and drugs. In third place is the lack of support and understanding from the spouse.
The topic of marriage and parenthood is relevant and interesting for our children, but at the same time, they all note a lack of knowledge in this area, standard approaches to educational activities and insufficient frankness of adults when discussing family problems. Information coming from the media is often contradictory, and sometimes simply dangerous for an unformed psyche.
It can be concluded that the preparation of high school students for marriage and parenthood is the most important area of educational work, as is the planning of long-term life goals and professional self-determination.
Areas of work with students:
Patterns of showing interest in a partner. Role external attractiveness, behavior, social status and intelligence in establishing partnerships.
Features of male and female perception of the world. Intellectual, physiological and psychological differences between the sexes.
Role matching in the family and society.
Family functions.
The role of mother and father in the upbringing of children. Styles of parenting behavior.
When deciding on the creation of a family and the birth of a child, each person must be aware of how his life will change, what new responsibilities he will have, and whether he will be able to cope with them. To do this, an idea of life values must be formed.
Life Values Training.
In the created family, it is necessary to build new partnerships, while limiting oneself in some ways, compromising in some ways, trying to observe both one's own interests and the interests of a partner. Is it easy?
Exercise "Puppets».
In the distribution of roles in the family, the main emphasis is on leadership in relation to the upbringing of children. Most often it belongs to the mother, although the pledge successful development child - in a harmonious combination of paternal and maternal influence.
The role of the mother during childbearing, relationship with the father, attitude towards pregnancy, mental attitude and physical condition is the key to the health and successful future of the child.
The role of the mother in the first years of life, in the formation of the family microclimate.
Unfavorable aspects of maternal influence:
The desire to command in the family,
Underestimation of the individuality of the child,
Exaggerated guardianship,
Lack of affection
Control of every step.
The role of the father different stages development of the child, in the formation of relationships with the outside world, creating an atmosphere of stability and security of the family.
Unfavorable paternal positions:
- "I provide for the family, and you raise the children."
“The school should educate.”
“The baby is still small. I will educate when I grow up.”
- "I grew up normal without much participation from my father, and he will grow up."
“My father taught me how to use a belt, and I will do the same. He doesn't understand otherwise."
The role of relations between parents in the formation of family ideas of children.
- "The mother teaches the child to live in the house, the father helps him go out into the world" - the mother is responsible for emotional attachment, and the father - for emotional independence.
Forms of holding extracurricular activities on this topic :
Conversations and class hours.
Questionnaire followed by discussion.
Round table, discussion.
Discussion of articles from periodicals.
Discussing movies and TV shows.
Designing your future.
Mini essays: “What kind of father will I be?”, “What kind of mother will I be?”, “How do I want to see my child?”.
Role-playing games “We are building a family”, “We will have a child”, “Marriage contract”.
Discussion of real life situations.
Drafting marriage announcements and family contracts.
Creation of the emblem, anthem and flag of your family.
Family holiday, family traditions.
Write your family tree.
A N K E T A for teachers.
1. Do you consider the preparation of high school students for family life and parenthood as an important area of educational work?
2. Who should do this?
Parents
Classroom teachers
Specialists
3. What is the role of a woman in a modern family?
4. What is the role of a man in a modern family?
5. Is the presence of children a prerequisite for a happy family?
6. What do you think are the necessary conditions for creating a strong family?
7. What do you think are good reasons for divorce?
8. What disadvantages of family education do you encounter most in your work?
9. What do you see as the difficulties in preparing students for family life and parenthood?
10. Your social status:
Married, married
Divorced
Widow (widower)
Not married (not married)
11. Do you have children?
Three or more
12. Do you consider the basis of your family
Understanding
Community of interest
Parenting
13. What knowledge did you lack at the beginning of family life (not enough now)?
About conflict resolution
On the specifics of male and female perception of life
About sexual relationships
About household planning
About raising children
QUESTIONNAIRE FOR STUDENTS.
3. Do you consider having a family a prerequisite for happiness?
4. Do you consider having children a condition for family stability?
5. How many children would you like to have?
6. What do you think is the main reason for starting a family?
Understanding
Birth and upbringing of children
Solving material and domestic problems
Fear of being alone
Other reasons
7. The main conditions for a successful marriage:
Common goals
Good material and living conditions
Similar outlook on life
Reasonable distribution of roles
Having children
mutual support
Ability to compromise
8. What are the qualities of a good husband?
9. What are the qualities of a good wife?
10. What do you think is a good reason for divorce?
11. What traits would you like to see in your children?
12. What qualities and habits do you categorically reject in your life partner?
13. What qualities do you not want to see in your children?
14. How do you feel about trial (civil) marriage?
15. Would you like your future family to be similar to the one in which you grew up?
PARENT LECTURE.
THE ROLE OF THE FAMILY IN FORMING AN ADEQUATE ATTITUDE OF HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS TO CREATION OF A FAMILY AND PARENTING.
We do not always strive to understand children,
Therefore, it is difficult for them to live with us.
We adults are afraid to see teenagers
And we want to hide our heads under the wing.
Today, growing up is violent, early,
A ban will not help a teenager grow up.
Let the experience come based on knowledge.
There is no other way to grow up.
F.S. Makhov.
In every child, ideas about the family, the norms of its existence and values for a person are formed from childhood. At the same time, the most important factor is one's own family, the features of which determine the child's views on family life and the patterns of creation in his future family. The child builds his role in this family in the image and likeness of his parents, sometimes despite the fact that the relationship of his parents did not suit him. Therefore, we, adults, must understand the full measure of responsibility for behavior in the family and fulfilling the role of father and mother.
From time immemorial, the role of maternal and paternal education differed in goals and methods. Traditionally, the father was the head of the family, responsible for its relationship with outside world, was the authority in deciding contentious issues. The mother was the keeper of the hearth, the emotional core of the family, passed on to the children the traditions and features of the perception of the world. The combination of maternal and paternal influence was the main factor in the development of the child.
Currently, there is a tendency to shift the roles in the family towards the leadership of a woman. The father is often considered the head of the family only nominally, but in fact it is the mother who takes responsibility for all aspects of family life. According to surveys of high school students, the role of the father is mostly reduced to the financial support of the family. At the same time, a significant reduction in the time of communication between the father and children leads to the removal of him from the process of education. Seeing this, children stop turning to their father with their problems, except for material ones. At the same time, the mother becomes an authority in the relationship of the child with the outside world. In trying to fulfill her feminine role while also compensating for her father's, the mother becomes overly authoritarian, inflexible, overprotective, or neurotic through overload.
Unbalanced relationships between parents and a misunderstanding of their roles in the family bring discord into the soul of the child, interfere with correct gender identification and form misconceptions about possible family relationships in the future.
If the family is incomplete or with a stepfather or stepmother, then the problems are even more pronounced.
Based on the foregoing and taking into account the data of surveys of schoolchildren, it can be said that the formation of ideas about the family, about relationships with the opposite sex, about the birth and upbringing of children is today one of the most important areas of education for high school students. Only having sufficient knowledge in this area, they can be happy in their future families and consciously treat the birth of their children.
Psychologists distinguish several psychological types of mothers, whose personality traits negatively affect the formation of the child's personality and his ideas about maternal behavior.
-Princess - Nesmeyana.
Always preoccupied, worried, overly principled, restrained in expressing feelings. He likes to be ironic, to make comments, to shame. He is afraid to spoil the child, so sometimes he acts with him too harshly.
-The Snow Queen.
Aloof, cold, keeps all family members at a distance. She is always sure that she is right and knows how others should act, better than them. Emotionally poor.
-Sleeping Beauty.
Dreamy, pessimistic, inactive, often disappointed in life or tired of problems. She communicates well with the child, but by inertia, she is always immersed in her thoughts and problems.
-Unter Prishibeev.
Insufficiently sensitive, categorical, she leads even adult children in everything, is angry and irritable. May use physical punishment or verbal humiliation.
-Busy mother.
Inconsistent in her views and actions, eccentric, active, rushes to extremes. Any trifle turns into a tragedy, she creates problems herself, and then reacts violently to them. Demonstrative, does not notice others, attracts all attention to himself.
-mother hen.
Sacrificial, anxious and restless, does not let children go away from themselves, tries to protect them from all possible troubles, suppressing their activity. Strives to do everything for the child.
-eternal child.
Touchy, naive, capricious, dramatizes all events. He treats life like a heavy burden. With children, he often changes roles, shifting responsibility to them.
The psychological characteristics of fathers that negatively influence the formation of the child's personality are almost identical to those of women, but they occur with a different frequency.
The aggressive behavior of the father, the use of physical punishment, lack of respect for his child, authoritarianism and excessive severity cause reciprocal aggression in children. At the same time, in adulthood, children begin to behave in the same way, although in childhood they suffered from the behavior of their father. They have no other model of behavior, and their father's is familiar to them.
Excessive softness, lack of one's own opinion, aloofness from solving problems, emotional dependence on the wife, inability to defend one's point of view cause disrespect for the father in children. Although children often love such “soft” fathers, share their thoughts and secrets with them, but they do not respect them. But in their families, the children of such fathers try to behave in the opposite way, going too far in the direction of diktat. Or become dependent on a spouse.
We hardly think about how we prepare children for the future role of a parent. If a girl is usually prepared for the role of a wife and mistress, then the role of a mother is considered to be of secondary importance. And boys are practically not prepared for the role of a father. Therefore, in young families, the problem of having a child causes the greatest controversy, and its appearance leads to conflicts and even divorces. In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of young people of both sexes who do not intend to have children or a family at all. It is characteristic that many of them have a good education financial position and lead a healthy lifestyle. They simply do not want to burden themselves with unnecessary worries and take responsibility for the child.
The main thing that girls and boys should be aware of when they enter adulthood is that a child is their continuation on earth, a miracle that they can create themselves. With him a lot of trouble, but from him and a lot of joy. You just need to be mindful of your life.
Children should not be accidental, should not be a reason for registering a marriage. They must be born in love, be desired and expected.
The key to successful parenting is the good health of future parents.
This needs to be taken care of at school. Girls - gynecologist, colds, fashionable uncomfortable clothes. Boys - urologist, bad habits, sexually transmitted diseases. This is the responsibility of parents, because until the age of 18 you are fully responsible for the physical and mental health of your children.
Sexuality education, which today in the press looks one-sided: a lot is said about the pros, but little about the cons. You need to know what your children are watching and reading, discuss with them different problems and situations.
Contraception. The issue is decided individually, but a child entering adulthood must be armed with knowledge.
TEN RULES OF FAMILY LIFE.
1. The family alphabet begins with the pronoun "We". Each of the spouses must drown out their "I" and build their lives from the position of "We".
2. Hurry up to repeat the good. This will fill with happiness not only those to whom you do it, but also yourself.
3. Stop in anger. Do not rush to pour out your anger, think, comprehend the situation, be able to understand and forgive.
4. If you are sure (a) that she (he) is to blame (a), then look for the reason in yourself. In any situation, both are to blame.
5. Each step towards is equal to many days of joy. Each step away from the family means many bitter days.
6. A good word is good, but a good deed is better.
7. Be able not only to take the place of another, but also to be worthy of your own in this situation.
8. The one who deceives himself does not believe. Family relationships are built on trust in each other.
APPENDIX 2
PARABLES FOR DISCUSSION.
N. PEZESHKIAN.
CURIOUS AND ELEPHANT.
The elephant was put on display at night and in a dark room. Curious crowds rushed there. Since it was dark, they could not see anything and began to feel the elephant in order to get an idea of \u200b\u200bit. The elephant was huge, and therefore everyone could feel only part of the animal. One of the visitors grabbed the elephant by the leg and began to explain to everyone that it looked like a large column; another touched the tusks and said that the elephant was cold and sharp; the third, taking the animal by the ear, said that it resembled a fan; the fourth, who stroked the elephant on the back, claimed that it was even and smooth, like a couch.
FIFTY YEARS OF POLITENESS.
one elderly married couple noted golden wedding. While preparing a festive dinner, the wife thought: “For fifty years now I have been trying to please my husband. I always gave him the top half of the crusty bread. And today I want this delicacy to go to me. She buttered the top half of the bread and gave the other half to her husband. Contrary to her expectation, he was very happy, kissed her hand and said: “My dear, you have brought me great joy today. I haven't eaten in fifty years lower part bread, the one I love the most. I always thought you should get her because you love her."
GOOD EXAMPLE.
One mullah wanted to protect his daughter from all the dangers of life. When the time came, and her beauty blossomed, he took his daughter aside to tell her how much meanness and deceit are found in life. " Dear daughter Think about what I'm about to tell you now. All men want only one thing. They are cunning, cunning and set traps wherever they can. You won't even notice how you get bogged down in the swamp of their lusts. I want to show you the path that leads to misfortune. At first, a man admires your virtues and admires you. Then he invites you to take a walk with him. Then you pass by his house and he tells you that he wants to go get his coat. He asks you if you want to come with him. There he invites you to sit down and offers you tea. You listen to music together, then time passes, and he suddenly rushes at you. You are disgraced, we are all disgraced, your mother and I. And our whole family is disgraced, our good name is disgraced forever. The daughter took her father's words to heart. And then one day, smiling proudly, she went up to her father and said: “Father, you must be a prophet? How did you know how it would turn out? Everything was exactly as you said. At first he admired my beauty. Then he invited me to take a walk. As if by chance we passed by my house. Then the unfortunate lover noticed that he had forgotten his coat, and in order not to leave me alone, he asked me to go with him to his apartment. As required by the rules of courtesy, he offered me tea and brightened up the time with wonderful music. And then I remembered your words and already knew exactly what awaited me. But you will see that I am worthy to be your daughter. When I felt that this moment was approaching, I rushed at him and dishonored him, his parents, his family and his good name!
APPENDIX 3
QUESTIONNAIRE FOR STUDENTS.
1. What qualities do you consider the most attractive in girls?
2. What qualities do you consider the most attractive in young men?
3. What qualities should a good wife have?
4. What qualities should a good husband have?
5. Do you consider having a family a prerequisite for happiness?
6. Do you think having children is a prerequisite for family stability?
7. How many children would you like to have?
8. What, in your opinion, is the main reason for creating a family (rank):
Understanding,
Birth and upbringing of children,
Solving financial and domestic problems,
Fear of loneliness
Other reasons.
9. The main conditions for a successful marriage (rank):
Common goals,
Good material and living conditions,
Similar outlook on life
Reasonable distribution of roles,
The presence of children
mutual support,
The ability to compromise.
10. What do you think are good grounds for divorce:
Drunkenness,
drug use,
Scandals, fights,
Lack of love
Absence of children
Other reasons.
11. What are the main features you would like to see in your children?
13. How do you feel about civil marriage?
14. Would you like your future family to be like your parents?
APPENDIX 4
EDUCATION OF COSSACKS.
"Knowledge of the roots of Russia for the sons of the Fatherland for the good."
(Peter the Great).
The pedagogy of the Cossacks is rooted in the depths of the centuries-old history of a unique community of people that arose at the borders of Kyiv and late Rus', whose name is Cossacks.
Currently, there are many historical and scientific-documentary works devoted to the origin, formation and cultural and historical role of the Cossacks, as a unique phenomenon, not only in Russian, but also in world history.
The extraordinary vitality of the Cossacks is evidenced by its modern revival after ten years of persecution, genocide and silence.
The pedagogy of the Cossacks as an integral system of education is much broader and more comprehensive than other systems of education designed for certain elites, classes or groups of people. At the heart of the Cossack education system is the very life of the Cossack, his farm, village, troops, the very historical purpose of the Cossacks. And the whole way of life of the Cossack was based on the ideals of Orthodoxy, service to the Fatherland, hard work and democracy, as organized freedom in the broadest sense.
The main ideas of the pedagogy of the Cossacks are: the education of the younger generations on the ideals and values of the Cossack culture, the centuries-old Russian tradition of democracy; the formation of the personality of a free (free) person, rooted in his small homeland, culture and history of Russia; education of youth in the spirit of patriotism, sovereignty; the formation in the minds of young people of psychological readiness for "serving the Fatherland not for fear, but for conscience."
Raising children was one of the main tasks for the Cossacks. They were instilled with love for native land, a responsible attitude to the task assigned - to the protection of the borders of their Fatherland.
Education began almost from infancy. The commandment was sacredly observed: "Honor thy father and thy mother, that it may be good, and thou shalt be long-lived on earth." Children were taught to read prayers before going to bed, upon awakening, before and after eating. From the age of five, they were required to know the prayers “Our Father”, “King of Heaven”, “ holy trinity" and others.
The vast majority of the Cossacks from an early age became deeply religious Orthodox people. Nevertheless, they treated Muslims, Catholics, Lutherans and believers of other generally recognized faiths with respect.
The basis of family education was positive examples of military exploits, the impeccable service of the grandfather, father, relatives, villagers. Future soldiers were taught not to get lost under any circumstances, to find a way out of any situation, to hold fast and survive in the most difficult conditions, to come to the aid not only of a comrade, but also of any stanitsa in a dangerous moment, “not to spare the belly of your friend”.
Children were not forgiven for lies, rudeness, shouting at elders, gambling card games, games with humiliation of personal dignity were strictly prohibited. One of the features of the Cossack upbringing was that every older Cossack, Cossack woman, not even relatives, could not only reprimand the younger one, but also punish him for an offense. The younger ones treated the elders with respect and respect, and, if necessary, helped them according to their strengths and capabilities.
The pedagogy of the Cossacks believed that the basis of successful education should be kindness and benevolence.
An analysis of the sources shows that the Cossacks had a clearly defined goal of education. Cossack education was carried out on the basis of humanistic principles and methods and was based on the economic structure, household traditions, social norms of life, which made it possible to reliably maintain and protect the stability and viability of the Cossacks. The main activity of the military and district Cossack societies, included in the state register, was and remains the patriotic and moral education of young people, the preparation of Cossacks for military service and the defense of the Fatherland. This is the meaning of the Cossack idea and the Cossack spirit.
A child in a Cossack family from infancy to 7 years old is with his parents under their care. It is important for a child to explore the world with the help of the closest people. From the age of 7, children were assigned feasible work. Boys were introduced to men's activities: caring for livestock, taking care of the girls' household - to work around the house and garden. From early childhood, there was gender differentiation: a boy - the future owner of the house and a protector, a warrior, a girl - a mistress and needlewoman, subordinate to a man. Thus, from early childhood, children were introduced to work, making it clear that work is main duty.
The behavior of children and adolescents was strictly controlled by adults. They brought up the fear of punishment and condemnation of the act. So for foul language and theft flogged. Those who were caught stealing were flogged in public, and then, tied to the body of the stolen goods, they were led through the streets and demanded to shout about what they had done. The result of such upbringing was most often positive. And although the Cossacks sometimes violated the rules, they still did not go beyond what was permitted. Growing up, they became worthy people.
Someone will object: “Why such extremes? Now is a different time, and pedagogy denies corporal punishment.” I agree with this opinion, but still I have to object: sometimes the family and society are too soft on this kind of pranks of teenagers. And often in the family there is no personal positive parent example.
Previously, special attention was paid by the Cossacks to the formation of the qualities of the future defender of the Fatherland. WITH early years little boys were prepared for trials and danger. These were horse racing, paramilitary games that were led by adults. From the age of 10-11, the Cossacks participated in races-competitions organized by the local authorities. The program was not easy: pitching through obstacles with shooting, cutting stuffed animals and rods, the ability to rush at the enemy with melee weapons in his hands and hit him. Teenagers practiced horse riding and weapon dexterity also in preparatory camps. Cossack schools had a special program for military training and a charter, which every student had to strictly observe. One can only admire how wisely and skillfully the Cossacks raised the future man, in whom they cultivated masculinity, courage, justice and kindness.
In the upbringing of Cossack girls, certain traditions were also formed. The Cossacks had their own idea of female honor. Parents strictly followed the relationship of the sexes before marriage. If a girl had sexual intercourse with a man before marriage, it was considered a disgrace not only for her family, but also for relatives. Such families were subjected to ridicule, and therefore cases of this kind were extremely rare.
After marriage, family responsibilities fell heavily on the shoulders of the Cossack. After the departure of a man for military service, women worked doubly, performing and men's work. “Even a daring Circassian, making his way to a Cossack village on a dark night to rob, dealt with a Cossack woman, and there were times when high chest Cossack women were decorated with the St. George Cross for a military feat, ”historian F.A. Shcherbina wrote about Cossack wives in his book History of the Kuban Cossack Army.
Cossack upbringing formed the ability to make decisions adequate to any situation. As a result, a personality type developed, strong in spirit, with a clear mind and strong convictions.
Faith in God was the main value that was brought up in a child from childhood. Christian morality did not allow doing "bad" deeds. “We also try to limit our children from evil,” many will say. But it is one thing when we inspire this to a child, and quite another thing when he himself is convinced that this cannot be done!
Folk pedagogy condemned the 7 deadly sins of a person, which every child in a Cossack family knew about: laziness, pride, stinginess, envy, anger, adultery and gluttony. That is why there was never a question of re-education among the Cossacks. .
Folk wisdom of the Cossacks: "Where there is faith, there is the Motherland", "Where God is, there is truth." It is always necessary to start education from the soul of the child, and teach your child the main God's commandments: "Love your neighbor, do not kill, do not lie, do not steal, do not envy", etc. This is necessary in order for the child to grow up as a Man and a citizen, and not lead his nation to the tragedy that Hieromonk Roman so well said in his poem:
Without God, a nation is a crowd united by vice...
Or blind, or deaf, and what is even worse, cruel!
And let anyone ascend the throne,
Speaking in a high voice.
A crowd will remain a crowd until it turns to God.
The family values of the Cossacks were therefore strong and viable because they were based on Christian morality and Orthodox traditions. The return of people to the bosom of the Church makes it possible to cleanse the soul of superficial things and return to the origins of wisdom and morality.
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