Our children 

Sadness from parting with his beloved. How to survive parting with your loved one painlessly? Proper image of thoughts

Anna Base

A man is initially a social being that cannot live without communicating with him like. Therefore, our whole life is a series of meetings and farewells. And on how you treat the inevitable depends on your relationship with people in the future.

At first, you see in the subject of your love only the best and beautiful. But in the life of each of us comes when you have to say goodbye. There may be a lot of reasons for this. But the most unemployed of them is the departure of a loved one. There are many questions in my head, thoughts are confused and life acquires gray tint Togun.

Depending on how long the relationship, separation can be different.

Roman who lasted a few months to break hard. But two people still do not know all the advantages and disadvantages of their second half and therefore cannot reliably assess the scale of the loss. It is difficult to lose someone who you love, but during this period you have not learned each other, and it has already managed to part. This speaks much. There was not the person who needed that you needed on your life path.
Sophisticated relationships that last for more than 3 years. This is an already formed family that has its own traditions and concepts about marriage. Parting such pairs is difficult. I still did not have time to fade passion and love, it seems that you can fix everything and "rewrite" family life again. But this is a delusion. If a person leaves, he means uncomfortable with you today. By the way, it is very difficult to get away from the family. Especially a man. After all, as neither rough it sounds, a person is a very lazy creature and change the usual sofa, a TV and a kitchen on the unknown, you still need to decide. So, he took his decision today. It is a thoroughly deliberate and calculated action.
Finally, the most complex and tragic partitions are inherent in those people who are married or in relations over 10 years. These are the established pairs that, sometimes, think one thought for two. There is so much here close connectionthat every half really feels like a part of something. It is very difficult to break such strong bonds. And as the one from whom it goes and the one who goes. For the most part, these are marriages in which there are children. They suffer from the most of all from the breaking of the relationship of parents. If adults, even with difficulty, can be understood by the deed act, then it is impossible to explain it to children.

The first and most important thing is that you need to understand - do not fall into depression after parting with your loved one. It only aggravates, and without the incomprehensible situation. Try to overpower yourself and follow some advice of people who survived parting.

Chaos, creating in the head and soul at this time, just not to describe words. Questions are crowded in line for answers. The most obsessive of them:

- Why?

- For what?

- Why did it happen to me?

Answers to all these questions lie on the surface. You just do not fit each other and the reason is not only in some of you. In parting, both partners are always to blame. It happened to you because you just met the wrong person who had to become your destiny. Do not dwell on your senses, do not blame yourself and do not indulge in bitter thoughts.

Throw the whole accumulated negative once, shook bitterly, close the day in your room and take yourself a loved one. But only one day. Do not flirt and do not spare yourself too long. Otherwise, you are threatened by depression, which will turn into insecurity and understated self-esteem. Tell your mother's mom or better friend, but in no case about parting with your loved one in social networks. Nevertheless, it is a deep intimate incident that should not please your "goodwires".

Fought? Stop! Take yourself in your hands and start doing everyday affairs. You will be very difficult to force yourself, but it really helps to disconnect from emotional tension.

Now you need to "put a point." Understand, lightness of hope for the revival of relationships, which burns in your heart it is better to crush at the very beginning. This does not mean that the second chance you will not give a favorite person. A person is a reasonable creature that can be wrong, so your Passia will be able to return to you only if you yourself want it. Just accept the fact that there is today and do not allow the thoughts about praying your favorite about returning. Do not humiliate. If a person decided so, then this is his decision that needs to be respected. Release it, if you really love. Consider the moment of the "point" care in the epic of your love novel.

Never build plans that, allegedly, help you return your loved one. Especially, make it a cunning. False, sooner or later, will open and will only worse. Do not lose respect for yourself, do not "roll" your favorite in your feet and do not pray for a return. Then you will be very shameful for yourself in front of others and yourself.

If you decide to act, guided common sense And reason, do not retreat from the target target. Drive away from Himself obsessive thoughts Type:

- where I still find such (such);

- I will never be as good as it was;

- who now needs my presence on this earth;

- I never love anyone anymore.

Rave! Do not injure the situation, take away unnecessary thoughts from your head like an old trash from the house. Correctly say that thoughts are material. They only hurt them, and they will not bring any benefit.

Our sufferings are 90% of our fantasies, which we are experiencing again and again. Write all your experiences on the leaves and bring 5 facts to each of them what it is true. It is doubtful that you can justify at least one of your obsessive ideas.

Tips for psychologists in how to survive parting with a loved one and do not fall into despair, unequivocally - get distracted from unnecessary thoughts.

Make yourself communicate with other people. Try to switch your attention to their problems and questions. Intrust yourself from the world, you just beat yourself even more and stay alone with your experiences. Wonderful if your job is associated with communication with people. Even angry with someone from others, you can distrast from thoughts about yourself. This is especially convenient to feel the parent "wing again. Were not long in hometown? Throw everything and go to my mom and dad. Go through our native places, visit where you were not since childhood. Talk to your parents, sit for family table. Meet with old friends, remember the happy moments and stories from the adolescence. This is a really proven advice that is worth listening.
Try to feel like others. Change the hairstyle, laying, makeup style, clothes or behavior. Any experiments on themselves in the period of parting with a loved one must be crowned with success. After all, zeal, with which person is attached to making changes to his life during the period of spiritual disorder, can give its results for the shortest possible time.
Nothing helps? Thoughts continue to torment the day and night? Go to far journey. New people, new countries and nature, all this, as the balm on the soul goes on the wounded heart. Go for so much time as circumstances and funds will allow you. The longer, the better. Fly on the beach, go to restaurants and in the evening clubs, inspect the sights, give the savory shop. In general, do everything to keep one on one with your thoughts. The most important thing is that in this corter of events you can forget your difficulties, but there is an opportunity to meet new relationships.
Do good things! Go to the house Baby and play with the children, visit the nursing home, help grandmother go on the road or buy her in the bread shop. Making good actions, we begin to respect ourselves and be proud of our ability to be sensitive and necessary person. It greatly increases self-esteem and helps to distract from the oppressive feeling of unnecessaryness and loneliness. It is not necessary to "rush to the ambrusura" and with high fanaticism to take on the unbearable problems of other people's people. Believe me, now you need help.
This advice is rather for those who possess the literary talent. Pour your pain on paper in prose or write poems about parting with your loved one. Perhaps this experiment in the root will change your life and will help become a successful writer. In addition, your life experience It is invaluable for those who have every life ahead. This work will help someone do not break out and do not laugh in a difficult moment.

What actions can not be done when the favorite

Do not repel your loved ones and those who really want to help you in this difficult situation. Take their help and do not close alone in your misfortune. After pushing everyone around, you will stay one on one with your problems. And then get out of depression, you will be much more complicated. It is desirable, of course, follow the advice, which are described above, but you need to know what to do.

Never start new relationships called your former Passia. Your mental experiences will be noticeable to a new partner, and it hurts his pride and feelings. In addition, you can hardly act in this situation and feel consciously. This novel will be doomed to another parting. Survive one misfortune or two, and even it hurts the one who loves you - choose to you.
Do not copy in the soul of revenge plans towards who threw you. Revenge is weapons of weak and stupid. Be higher than this low feeling. In addition, what can you "hook" to whom you are now indifferent? The result will be your additional suffering from the fact that you just put yourself on the laugh. In addition, seeing that you do not do anything, the beloved once again think about whether he was the right choice or not.
Remove all your joint photos and video albums. Do not flip, do not eat, and do not throw away, just hide and forget it for a while. Do not torment yourself with memories of the happy time when you were there. These thoughts simply won't give you to distract from their experiences, and you will again go from reality into the world of illusions. Know that if you could feel happy in the past, then in the future you will be waiting for even greater happiness.
And the most important thing! Try to keep yourself with dignity even when fate faces your face to face. Do not pray for reciprocity. If he is not near you, then it is necessary.
Children. These are those whom the most wound off parents gap. They are the first to lose the point of support under their feet and understand that now will never happen as before. Let it be bad, let it hard, but not like when the family was together. Their future scares and now it is necessary to think not only about your spiritual equilibrium, but also to prevent depressive state They have. If you recently divorced and children remained in your hands, never manipulate them with feelings. Never a man who left the family will not return to it only for the sake of children. On the contrary, let's communicate with them. Let the "traitor" himself will understand what he needs in this life. In addition, the children will understand that nothing has changed for them. No one died and did not leave their lives, everything remained in her places, just now you live separately.

The worst error is "and if ...". Do not excuse! Back time can not be returned, and no matter how you arrived in the past, if a person left, then he has long hatched this plan.

Remember Yesenin? I do not regret, I do not call, I do not cry, everything will go like with white apple trees smoke ...

This is how your sufferings will be held and the memories of the feeling that today breaks your heart today.

December 28, 2013, 09:19

Parting is not the most pleasant and joyful event in life. When a person is leaving, who has not been closest and relatives, then the feeling of emptiness and complete disappointment remains inside. Many are even required serious help Psychologist, as they do not work independently. If you want to survive parting with your loved one without winding yourself and staying in spiritual equilibrium, then tips from our article may help you.

Why do people harden parting?

Parting causes the hardest blow to the nervous system and mental state man. There are several main reasons why many of us are so difficult to carry the break of relationships. These include the following:

  • True love. You always think about your loved one, you can't imagine life without him, constantly waiting for his call and so on. In this case, your feelings will not be able to just take and disappear into one moment. It will take time for this.
  • Strong affection. People who for a long time They lived together, completely trusted each other, equipped their life, would not immediately be able to accept what it would no longer be.
  • Fear of loneliness. After you broke up with your boyfriend or a girl, there may be fear of staying alone forever. At such moments, the self-esteem of a person falls sharply, but still it is necessary to stop sorry in time.
  • Memories. Perhaps the most famous "satellite" of those who recently broke up with a close man. After his or her departure there were many gifts, photos and other things that remind you of last Life. It is necessary to live only with the present and future, so it is recommended to get rid of such items.
people are hard to survive a gap due to strong attachment and warm memories

Parting formula

The so-called "parting formula" was derived by experts. He who provoked a break of relationships leaves 1/3 negative emotions (misunderstandings, quarrels, insults and so on), and to the one who left the remaining 2/3. That is why, it always always feels the initiator of parting, and the other party acts as a victim and is hard to experience this stage of life. In many people, the period of humility with a gap can take place for three years.

How to survive the rupture of relationships?

For most people, parting brings exclusively negative emotions. But, it is important to stop your experiences in time and start the right way to overcome this life crisis. Psychologists give advice and men, and women, but they still have certain differences. Each floor absolutely reacts to this event in different ways.

Women are very emotional. They are sufficiently difficult to make a decision of a man about the cessation of relations and living together. In order to somehow facilitate their "suffering", you can try the following technique:

  • Extra emotions. You need to relax and throw out all anger and offense out. This can be done with the help of sports, talking about souls with the best friend, mom, sister, etc. During this period, rest as much as possible, distracted by unnecessary thoughts. The main goal is to purify consciousness from memories that your condition oppress. It is necessary to start life from pure sheet.
  • "Burn bridges." We delete all phone numbers, posts, emailswho bind you with your loved one. If suddenly the ex-partner starts to be interested in your affairs or well-being, then in no case answer not to quarrel again. Ignore and silent, forget about everything that was.
  • Support for loved ones. In such a difficult stage of life, the support of relatives and loved ones is very important. You can visit yoga classes, for example, together with my mother, carry out cozy warm evenings Have a friend for a cup of cocoa and much more. It is important to do everything to fully immerse yourself in a new atmosphere.
  • Appearance. After you threw a man, you should not forget about leaving me. Keep making makeup, beautifully and stylish dressing. Stressful state will help remove light shopping. Update your wardrobe, pick up a couple of new aromas and now, you are already a completely different woman.

It has always been believed that the strong floor is quite a meager for the manifestation of emotions, unlike women. But, nevertheless, at the time of breaking the relationship, men are also very worried. What can facilitate your condition?

  • Friends. Men's friendship One of the strongest types of relationships, so it is that the pastime with friends will help you forget at least for a certain period.
  • Sport. Try to distract from your problem with moderate physical Loads. Attend daily gymwhere you can switch and may make a new acquaintance.
  • Work. If the separation is very hard for you, then try to go to work with your head. The psyche of the man is so arranged that, focusing on something concrete, he is able to completely escape from heavy experiences.
immediately after parting, you should not get involved in alcohol and make new relationships.

What should not be done after parting?

Modern society is literally filled with various stereotypes. This applies to absolutely everything, including parting with a loved one. There are judgments about what you should not do immediately after breaking the relationship. Here, perhaps, the most correct advice:

  • New relationship. It is not necessary immediately after parting to seek replacement former partner, thus trying to drown out pain. It is likely that you will be easier for a period of time, but then this feeling will passAnd you will understand what makes a mistake.
  • Alcohol. Many people, and especially men, after breaking the relationship, begin to stroke their experiences alcoholic beverages. After all, in addition to serious health damage you will not achieve anything. Think about it before grabbing for the bottle.
  • Communication. Some former lovers try to fully isolate from external world By turning off all means of communication: telephone, Internet, intercom, etc. By doing so, you completely forget that close and native people always remember you and are also experiencing.
  • Temporary parting. Do not create illusions and deceive yourself. Take the fact of breaking relationships as a given and accept. Release your former feelings.
  • Tricks of consciousness. The human mind is very complicated and unpredictable. When we try to fight our experiences, try to forget about everything, our brain again gives us old information. Try to overcome this.

Do not try to reverse the time to return, because the past has already passed, it is no longer. Think about my own of the future life, Build plans. Over time, all thoughts about former feelings Let's go forever and it will truly become easier.

How to distract yourself from thoughts about parting?

Tips for psychologists for women and men should help overcome pain and experiences received from parting with a loved one, but what to do to divert oneself from constant thoughts about oral relations? And on this question, specialists have a completely detailed answer:

  • Hobby. Share that you know how to do, for example, draw a picture, embroider with beads, sculpt from clay. You can try to learn something new. Sign up for any circle. Art heals.
  • Perception of the world. Arrange your life priorities, stop seeing around yourself. solid negative. Dress, at least for a while, "pink" glasses, and then the world will play with other paints. Think over the fact that you want to change in yourself, comprehend all your past mistakes and still do not commit them. As the saying goes: "Immersed, thought and drove further."
  • The situation around you. One of enough effective methods Is a change in the situation. If you have such an opportunity, you can safely choose new wallpapers, color curtains, furniture, and so on. The repair process is so hobble and tightened that you and think about some kind of existing relationships.
  • Future plans. Try to enter your life all your dreams that you have long wanted to implement. Create a list of desires and, drawing out done, continue to delight yourself.

Week healing

Most psychologists strongly recommend trying a seven-day healing plan. It includes the actions that must be done daily for full release From the "shackles" of the former relations. During the passage of this therapy, you should put a clear framework and the boundaries permitted, so as not to leave the way to the intended purpose.

Day 1

Start this day with a diary. Generally record own thoughts Perfectly helps express emotions and prioritization. In the diary you can record any of your experiences, even the most minor. Over time, you will see how improved your condition. With each new week, emotions will be positive and brighter.

Perhaps it sounds strange, but give yourself something. It absolutely does not matter what a gift it will be. Maybe you dreamed about something long ago? So buy this thing and please yourself. The main purpose of this action is to relax and positive emotions.

Day 3.

Pay attention to your nutrition. Try to sit on a slight diet, eliminate from the diet harmful products, such as Fast Food, carbonated sweet water, bread, sugar, sharp, salted, fried and so on. In the morning do exercises. In the morning, drink a glass of water on an empty stomach for a tide of strength and energy. Dedote this day business meetings and work.

Day 4.

On this day, come in appearance. This item concerns men. Go to the hairdresser, in the sauna, spa. Women can do beautiful make-up, manicure, pedicure, etc. Beautiful and well-groomed need to look like any situation.

Day 5.

Organize a picnic outdoor. Invite loved ones and friends. Forex meat on the bountar, sing songs under the guitar, play badminton, enjoy the society and forget about all the problems.

Day 6.

Invite to your dinner best girlfriend or friend. You can cook something together, chatting about everything in the world. Trust the close person all your experiences, share the plans. Look together some interesting film. Try to make this evening cheerful and unforgettable.

Day 7.

The week should end something very pleasant. It can be any occupation, such as reading books, cooking your favorite dishes, shopping trip. Men can watch football, go fishing, play billiards or bowling.

It is important to remember one thing that parting is not a sentence. If you were accepted in this way, it means you need to forget about everything as quickly as possible. There are in life different cases, but you should never give your hands. Gather and do not forget that you did not become worse or more stupid. You have everything ahead, there is a person with whom, perhaps you will live until the oldest, and do not even remember about these problems. Believe in good, and then everything will work out.

It is impossible to disagree with a certain statement that separation is a small death. The end of the relationship between a man and a woman is always accompanied by unpleasant sensations. It does not matter how much time people were together, the gap imposes a print on further life both sides this process. But in this situation, the emotional distribution is unevenly dosed. One side is much more difficult to survive parting compared to another. This category includes people from whom left. The violation of the former lifestyle and fear of unknown leads a person to despair. The consequences of such stress are sad. Experienced psychologists They give advice how to independently cope with this situation and extract the maximum benefit from it.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Gadalka Baba Nina: "Money will always be in excess, if you put under the pillow ..." Read more \u003e\u003e

    Show all

    Algorithms separation

    To survive parting with your beloved person and do not apply and your loved ones, it is necessary to analyze the psychology of separation. It should be started with awareness that it has already happened.

    It is further recommended to consider the characteristic stages of the perception of this situation in terms of emotions. It is worth studying its condition that is absolutely natural under certain circumstances. This will allow moving on with the smallest health losses and soul equilibrium.

    Negation

    This is a characteristic state after the final break. Even if there were suspicions or explicit signs of approaching separation, human perception refuses to put up with what it happened. In such cases, they say: "It does not fit in the head."

    The affected side wants to wake up after scary sleep And come back at the time when people were together. Similar condition lasts from a few days to a month.

    Compromise

    Psychology is based on protective properties His consciousness when it is necessary to most painfully realize the fact of breaking relationships. A person is trying to find an explanation of the act of a partner, give him a chance to return and so on.

    The words appear in thoughts: "Your beloved man is tired and returns after some time." Very often temporary intervals for resumption former relationships.

    Aggression

    It is also a protective reaction to what happened. When all temporary restrictions passed, and the favorite person did not return, open or hidden indignation begins.

    It is expressed in the accusation of the partner, since he failed to preserve the relationship or was the initiator of the gap. Such reasoning is sometimes accompanied by an explicit form of aggression.

    Depression

    This stage of the reaction to the runtime of the relationship is a natural response protective mechanism. The awareness of the fact of parting was held, the timing of the correction of the situation was allocated, anger storm and indignation were held inside a person. Then everything was changed to apatine, when there is neither physical nor emotional forces to do. The body slowed down its natural functions and plunged into the "standby mode".

    The depression stage lasts from several days to several months. On the nature of a person, living conditions and other external factors It depends on the degree of its severity. Some people are enough one to three days to cry, complain to your life to friends and relatives or to be alone with them to come back. Another will need long rehabilitation, which is accompanied by the help of psychologists or treatment in specialized agencies.

    Restoration

    This stage is the beginning of a new healthy life. A person survived parting with his peculiar perception and returned to the previous regime. It is necessary to understand how important the time limits are allowing to start recovery. Every day experiences are opening new opportunities for occurrence. negative factors for good health.

    Long-term finding in a state of stress is fraught with irreversible consequences. The balance of the nervous system is disturbed, negative features of character appear, there are a number of serious diseases. A person cannot fully recover in physical, and in spiritual terms. This imposes his imprint on his future life.

    The active phase of experiences lasts on average from 1 to 6 months. In women, it begins immediately after breaking the relationship and ends in the third month. In men - begins in a month and ends in six months. It is necessary to understand this and try to cut as much as possible. this time. If it is impossible to do it yourself, it is strongly recommended to seek help from specialists. They will facilitate suffering and quickly return to active phase Recovery.

    How to facilitate suffering after parting?

    To alleviate the experiences during the break of the relationship, it is necessary to discard all emotions and proceed to restore your condition. There may be an assumption that this recommendation is hidden banal phrases People who have not worried about such grief in their lives.

    But these are the advice of psychologists. From such a self-vaccination worsen appearance, depress nervous system, arise serious diseases, children, close relatives and good friends. It is necessary to listen to the advice of specialists, stop self-esteem and proceed to active actions.

    Objective assessment

    This conclusion will help facilitate the experience of separation. Even after long relationshipWhen fate people were inextricably linked, it should be understood that it was a certain length of life. Each of the partners is a separate person who has to change, find more comfortable conditions Accommodation or worship objects. No one should no one in morally, since it is guaranteed eternal love ridiculous and meaningless. Feelings come and go, it is the law of life, and it is impossible forcibly to hold near himself.

    By adopting this statement and allowing everyone to go to his expensive, the affected party will have a huge service in the form of relief. It is necessary to educate noble qualities, respecting the right of their partner for a personal life.

    Positive thinking

    Thoughts about their inferiority, a sense of guilt, the presentation of the enhanced requirements will not lead to anything good. Phrases like "If ..." It is worth completely eradicated from your lexicon. An objective assessment of its actions and a reasonable solution to the situation is allowed to not repeat the errors in the future. And the remorse of conscience and regretful about the time missed time only aggravate the experiences. Everything has already happened, and thinking how it would be in a particular situation, meaningless.

    It is necessary to draw conclusions exclusively in a positive key. Understand that each event in life is good, so do not dramatize. To punish yourself for past (dubious) errors are not recommended. Such conclusions will lower self-esteem, provoke the occurrence of mass of inferiority complexes and block the appearance pOSITIVE ENERGY For further happiness.

    Memories

    This is the most common mistake of all people after parting. Permanent memories and mental return to former relationship Akin to masochism. Some women or men walk in places former dates, mourn the things of your partner, revise photos or videos. This is experienced unbearable pain, but they cause it again and again. It is necessary to control their actions and not allow to show similar weaknesses.

    Consciousness of a person is subject to adjustment. If you check yourself into a state of what it is impossible to return, self-destruction will come. It is possible an irreversible process when an artificial immersion in suffering rolling like a snowball. An example will be the actors who are enjoyable and experiencing the same sensations as their heroes. Worrying the separation should be maximized from reminders about former love, for a while forgetting and good, and bad. And return to them when it becomes much easier.

    Forgiveness

    For your relief you need to forgive the ex-beloved. It is not easy, but necessary. If there are no arguments to justify its actions, you should put yourself in its place yourself or your close relatives. To mentally work out a similar situation and respond to several questions of this plan. "Would you forgive me if I were (a) on the partner's place" or "stopped (a) I would love my brother (sister) if it (a) entered the same way." If the answer is affirmative in the first case and negative in the second - it means that a person is moving not love, but a vulgarity.

    it normal condition For the offended side, when the vulnerable pride goes to the first position. For your own relief you need to forgive and even justify your former partner. Release your heart from hatred, revenge, maliciousness and indignation. You should not appoint yourself to the judge, try to analyze the behavior of the partner, you need to switch all attention to yourself and leave the former companion alone with his mistakes or right. Time will put everything in places.

    Saves work

    If there interesting jobIt is necessary to try to plunge into it with your head. This will bring emotional and material fruits, and will also allow to move through the career ladder. If there own businessIt must be expanded or improved. These enterprises will allow the fallen basis for the future life.

    In the absence of his case, it is possible to organize it. Run everything in turn is not the easy task. In order for everything to work and brought profit, it is necessary to make a lot of effort. These actions will occupy not only a mass of time, but also fill out all thoughts. This will allow you to most distract from the experiences and send the energy to the right direction.

    Communication

    When the parting happened and on the heart of pain and sadness, I want to be alone. It must be done, but a short time. It is necessary to control your behavior to feel the power in yourself and its actions. Receive emotional help And support is recommended from friends and loved ones. You should complain to life, to sink a little and proceed to active actions. An excellent solution will be joint leisure, travel or work.

    Ban on talking about your former love Will be perceived by close people with great pleasure. This behavior can not only free yourself from painful memories, but also save people from constant persuasion and pity in their direction. It is necessary to remember that a person who is in the depressed mood or depression is a heavy company. Such behavior adversely acts on others and deprives the ability to rejoice in life. The grief must be dosed because it is not heavy (with parting everything remains alive).

    New relations

    Parting, some people decide to quickly go to new relationships. There are several reasons for such behavior. In the first case, this is the desire to fill the formed vacuum without a partner, in another - to take revenge on him. Both options are erroneous because they will not bring relief and satisfaction. An attempt to quickly find a person who can repeat the habits accumulated over the years, is impossible. And the revenge will not touch the former partner, since he is now another life.

    Acting in a similar way, it is easy to apply an additional injury. This concerns moral and physical condition. As a result, devastation will remain, frustrating and lack of desire to build new serious relationships. To re-love it is to treat carefully and deliberately. It is necessary to relax, calm down and create happiness, which is not similar to the previous one. It is recommended to approach new relationships without cargo of old offended and disappointment.

    Self-realization

    In the union of two people who long years Live a joint life, one of the partners often loses individuality. This is one of the main reasons for breaking the relationship. Once without the second half, there is an opportunity to make a wonderful jerk and become a self-sufficient person. The new status allows you to make a favorite thing or succeed in any sphere of life. This opens up a lot of prospects, including in relations with the opposite sex.

    Independent implementation of plans, when it all depends only on personal desire and desire, increases self-esteem. The person becomes more confident, even in some way it begins to be proud of himself. It offers new perspectives, dating, opportunities. Recent separation and experiences are moving into the background, since new goals arise in life. BUT old experience used for the benefit of the upcoming relationship and construction proper dialogue between partners.

    Search for the advantages of created position

    Taking the fact of the accomplishment of separation, should go to the search for the benefit from this Regulation. No need to say that everything is bad and there is nothing good. It is necessary to take a look at the circumstances at a different angle.

    From each negative point, it is possible to maximize the benefit, if you consider the accomplishment of the fact of philosophically. It is necessary to pay attention to the following points:

    • hiking in beauty salon;
    • visiting the gym;
    • the possibility of changing the image;
    • shopping organization;
    • meeting with old friends;
    • visiting relatives;
    • more time for your beloved leisure;
    • the emergence of new hobbies;
    • mastering new information;
    • acquisition of skills in any kind of activity;
    • trips and travels;
    • the ability to give more time to children;
    • availability to search for a new satellite of life;
    • lack of experiences caused by suspicion of unworthy behavior partner;
    • the presence of certainty;
    • the possibility of planning his life without taking into account the interests of the partner.

    All these features that suddenly opened in front of a person are becoming clear and beautiful. If you allow yourself to do what I want, there is a chance to significantly succeed in life. It is necessary to love yourself and understand that life is given once. If the former satellite allowed to make a choice in a convenient direction for himself, it will be unfair to deprive such an opportunity to himself.

    Features separation

    A severe breaking of relationships with the sign of excellent and strong sex to equally. But there are some partition features in different life circumstances: when the husband is out of, wife, boyfriend, girl, lover or lover.

    It is necessary to analyze the behavior of people in different status. It will help relive the separation from minimal losses, make work on mistakes and build new perfect relationship.

    Husband

    Parting with her husband is terrible, but, unfortunately, a common tragedy. So many years lived together, joint children, relatives, friends - all this was perceived as a life of one huge family. If such a trouble happened at 45 years and more, there are neither physical, nor moral forces to start all over again. But it is necessary to continue to continue to live because it is never worth surrender. In this situation, all of the above methods are suitable, including the help of specialists.

    The original recipe will be writing a novel on the topic of your life. This will give the opportunity to abstract from myself and look at the situation from the side. Just describe all events on paper in the order in which they happened. From the author it is worth adding some reactions to certain actions (especially in relation to their behavior). In other words, advise yourself what was necessary to make on this stage. Finish its work is recommended as it is dreaming for the future. There is the possibility of incarnation of dreams in real life.

    Wife

    Relief of relations S. former wife Much experienced even more than in the case of a fine sex with representatives. Men are an unusual manifestation of special emotions, they try to pull pain and resentfully in the soul. Especially acute separation is perceived when many years have lived together. Help with such a situation helps support for loved ones and relatives. Cases of appeal to psychologists noticeably increased, since on average and older age men become more wounded and helpless.

    Universal are the following tips:

    • Philosophical attitude to the situation. Do not try to return everything back if all methods are used, and the wife does not agree to restore relations. Now it is worth thinking about your life, and the work of the wife is not worth paying any attention. It is recommended to leave good moments in your memory, and bad forget and try not to remember them. If the woman could not appreciate the appreciation - this is her personal problem.
    • Contact restriction. It is necessary to try to reduce contacts with the former spouse to a minimum. There is no reason to disturb the old wounds. This woman remained in the past, and it makes no sense to give her the opportunity to control the future life. It will hurt in relations with the new partner and will allow his wife to feel indispensable.
    • Life for yourself. There was a moment about which many dreams married men. If the divorce happened not through the fault of her husband, it is worth using this situation. He deserved to live free life without much restrictions, when it is not necessary to think about the constant content of the whole family. You can go on a journey, distracting with friends or make a favorite thing, which was banned.
    • New relationship.Parting with the ex-wife should not put a fingerprint for the entire female floor. A decent man is able to start re-relation that will be much happier than previous ones. Lots of beautiful women Looking forward to his attention.

    Guy

    Separation with a guy you need to perceive as personal experience. It is not negative, since it provided the opportunity to draw conclusions from his behavior in this situation. Perhaps this union was the fruit of the girl's imagination, and the guy was not going to build a serious relationship with her. The reason could be the character of a woman or the behavior of a man. Young people converge and diverge, because they are in constant search His second half.

    The girl is recommended not to despair, but perceive parting as a warning from an incorrect act. If you continue the search, there will be a person who will meet all the requirements. Men's psychology Focus on the search for mother of his child. The guy feels at the first pores of the relationship. If he did not make an offer and did not ask him to give birth to him of the heir - his attitude was frivolous. Regarding such a union does not make senses - it was doomed to parting.

    Girl

    Parting with the girl guys perceive very deeply. Experience and apathy pursues a young man, it is especially felt for 6 months. It may still change his mind and returns back. You need to pay attention to the signs that it demonstrates. If it calls and writes, comes to contact, but does not speak about return, it is worth the assumption that she realized the mistake and wants to resume relations. If nothing like this happens, you should not be upset. Young man It is necessary to continue to live on.

    It is recommended to exclude all possible contacts, erase the photo and video, try to avoid those places where it is possible to meet. Do not give the opportunity to go to friendly relationsWhen the guy's life will be controlled by a girl. It is necessary to distract first time, friends and relatives will help. Works with work or favorite hobbies will be beneficial. Calming down and making conclusions, it is worth going to search new Love. Meetings and parting is usual life Young people who are looking for their happiness by samples and mistakes.

    Lover

    These relationships themselves are quite complicated because they suggest separation. This is a matter of time, because people (one of them) do not imply a joint life. If a woman has a lover, then she is not all right in her family. Lack of desire to divorce and combine your life with a new chosen one also suggests that it is unsure of his choice. Further action There will be a lover's care with an attempt to establish your personal life. It is absolutely logical, but it hurts for a woman.

    This situation is indicative in order to settle all family problems. It is necessary to communicate more often with her husband and try to take the relationship with former lover. Perhaps a new jet of feelings will be so joyful for the spouse that life will play new paints. A reasonable solution will be a change in the situation, especially if there is an opportunity to move to a new place of residence. Starting to live B. new apartment, you can resume relationships with the spouse, and the former passion will remain in the past.

    Mistress

    No smaller suffering brings parting with his mistress. Living for a long two families, a man begins to love both women. In each of them he sees close man, separation from which is a real test. There are situations when the mistress gets tired of waiting for his turn and leaves his beloved. The man needs to understand that his feeling is not real because it is only aimed at satisfaction. own ambitions. It is impossible to deny a woman personal life, belonging to her as a toy. Present love It is impossible to call it.

    In this case, it is recommended to remember those feelings that originally made a couple of families. The next stage will be an assessment of the situation in which the husband did not divorce and did not prefer the mistress. In all likelihood, this is very good reason. The recipe will analyze the relationship with his wife, try to update the setting or change it completely. To do children and their problems, distract yourself with work. Situation should be approached by philosophically. So, only nearby wife can make a man happy.

    Exist universal advicewhich can alleviate the pain of parting. It is important to note that a person himself must sincerely wish recovery from this ailment who is able to turn into a serious illness.

    Experienced specialists will help their recommendations as easy to survive separation:

    • Change atmosphere. Any decoration change will help in the fight against experiences. If there is no possibility to change the place of residence or to leave for other conditions for living, it is worth starting repairs. Physical labor will be useful in the sense of dynamics and output of the accumulated negative energy. New paints and furniture arrangements will not remind of past life.
    • Help other people. There are many people in the world who need help. Man who rejoices is radiated maximum amount positive energy. It will serve as a source to maintain the strength to a person who suffered a charm associated with separation.
    • Change appearance. IN this case Experiments are very welcome. Change the color of the hair, hairstyle, fill the tattoo - all these ways are acceptable for a person who in this moment heavy. Experts argue that the change of image is able to radically change life for the better.

    You also need to afford to throw out emotions. First of all, these are tears. They pour accumulated negative energy, and becomes much easier. For women, this technique is natural. Men are recommended to do in a similar way, while in privacy or in a company with a close and reliable person.

Pronounce the first words of love, you could not think about how hard parting will be given. What is there who is planning a gap at the dawn of relationship. And now comes when you understand that, despite love (if she is still left), you are easier and better to continue life Path separately. How to choose the right words to part with a person most painless - the topic of today's article.

Where to start parting? First of all, with a solid solution. If you are hard to decide on a confident point, make up a list where pluses will be indicated in the same column, and in the other - minuses of your relationship. It is important that the qualities are equivalent. Try soberly to assess the situation, because with some disadvantages we are ready to put up, and something is unacceptable for us. And if you can't formulate the reasons, you just feel your heart, then this is the most true signthat your relationship has been outlined.

How to make people parted friends. Or at least they retained warm memories of each other. Secret in respect. We respect my decision, respect the feelings of another person and his right to know the reason for your gap.

Rules of parting

  • do not start a conversation with accusations. If you can do without them, do not blame. Wines for the weak relationship always lies on both. If a person did not meet your expectations, it may happen because you initially idealized it;
  • speak with man, if possible, smooth, but warm tone. He should not give hope, but also to hurt coldness - too;
  • call the main cause of your gap. Even if you are not going to tell him the truth (for any reasons), find the reasons that will be quite good. The fact that you do not want to be together - in itself has the right to become the end of the relationship. The main thing is to express it so that the point does not turn into a Troetch;
  • do not forget to thank the person for all the good moments that were between you. One or two will be enough, otherwise the separation can end the notorious "why I sell my cow". You probably swept the wave of memories, and the beloved from these excursions will not be better in the past;
  • offer to stay friends (if you believe in friendship after the relationship), but do not rush to establish contacts in a new format. First time is better to avoid communication.

No matter how much you wanted to part with your beloved person, painlessly, unpleasant feelings are unlikely to succeed. Most likely, you will torment the attacks of regret, memories, the fear of what is so good, as it was with this person, it is unlikely to be with someone else. Therefore, it is important to take yourself, distract from sad thoughts.

There are in life different situations, and good, and bad. First date and parting with your loved one: some of these events take place for years, and others have a couple of months. How to survive parting with your loved ones / oh? And how to break this relationship correctly, so that it is not too painful both parties?

Once we encounter a new person for us, completely outsiders. Gradually, we get used to it, we begin to live with him one life. We understand each other, say as if in the same language. But then, something happens. We begin to quarrel, cease to understand each other. And at some point, one of us is solved on the gap.

Of course, there are people who manage to disperse with a person simply and painlessly. They remain in friendly relations with former husbands or wives, guys or girls. They meet and even be friends with new families. But such people are units. All others are experiencing stress during parting and breaking. And they do not feel anything other than pain and negativeness to their ex and to partition process. In some reaches the case to the manual design and demonstrate their emotions to all neighbors. Other parting turns into the real circles of hell: when one of the former partners constantly thinks about a friend, he writes him, comes under the entrance and hopes to return everything to his circles. Real suffering he brings the idea that the other had long forgot about him, came up with another partner and lives happily.

Indeed, the pace of taking a break from different people is different: someone starts a new relationship in a couple of days, and someone cannot overcome a break of many decades and remains himself, in the hope of returning that it is no longer possible.

Who is right to part with a loved one

Let's deal with why people behave so differently during the breaking of relationships. To do this, you need to refer to system-vector psychology, which greatly gives an idea of psychological aspects Parting with a partner.
Below you will find a description of how different people Bare relations, and why they have it exactly that, and not otherwise. As well as recommendations that it is necessary to make the breaking of relationships go as softer and painlessly.

Wife left - what to do? Gone husband - what to do?

The painfulness of the total of relationships people with anal vector. By the nature of his psyche, their thoughts are constantly facing the past. A picture of the past in their minds often looks more bright and attractive than today's evidence. Implementing in society having good work and family coat, this look in the past is not so felt. But in case of stress, such as partitioning in their consciousness, the drawing from the past looks more bright than what is happening today. And then - past living together It was charming, although in fact everything could have been on the contrary.

The second distinctive feature is a tendency to monogamy. In the understanding of anal man, the ideal relationship is when "once and forever." Actually, they themselves, any changes in this plan cause stress. Therefore, people with an anal vector rarely go to break the relationship themselves. Even if the relationship themselves no longer bring them neither joy nor happiness.

For people with an anal vector, the breaking of a relationship with a partner is always a tragedy that can be risen in a stupor, long in the years of life. He is offended by a partner, to life, at the very situation, even on himself, they do not give such a person to move on, continue to live. Therefore, very often their "clinical" in old relationships and they continue to displays their former / former permanent calls or personal attempts to understand the situation, and also try to return everything back into the lucky past. Of course, sometimes everything really ends new Weddingbut it happens so that former partner Already thinking forgot about past life, created new familyPerhaps even norodial children. Then such fabrics from the former turn into a repetitive horror, end with disassembly and even by contacting the law enforcement.

If you have to break the relationship with anal person, you need to give him the opportunity to speak, bring the conversation to the end. Do not interrupt it, do not give to finish the thought. Better to the last word It remains for an anal person. If the personal enemy is not needed, it is best to sincerely ask him forgiveness for everything that was. And for what was not.

If an anal man got into a situation where he was thrown, he was sincerely sorry. Hazard, which rises inside him, can not go by himself, as well as the memory of the past. It is best to cope with it helps a free lecture on the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan on an anal vector, where all the types of resentment and the possibility of exiting the stupor are also being worked out.

I'm leaving and get back!

People with a skin vector, in contrast to the previous category, love change. For them monotony and monotony family life With one person - a painful and complex test. Such people are very often novel on the side in order to at least take a slight tension.

People with a skin vector in any pair are the first to take a break. They easily part with a loved one and quickly find a new partner. They are easily forgotten and people and reasons for breaking. They do not heal in themselves for years, like an anal man.

Skin people, as a rule, people with anal vector go to partners. Despite the absolute difference in characters, they are perfectly suitable for each other. But if the skin man still decided to leave, he should understand that not all people are the same quick and lighter on the rise as he himself. During parting with the former beloved, it is necessary to gain patience and show at least a bit of respect: this will help preserve the mass of nerves in the future.

Despite its windiness, the skin jealous people themselves. And if they do not become the initiators of the gap, their reaction to the decision on parting can be sharply negative. The leather-owner when he learns that someone else drew attention to his wife or husband, they immediately remember their "property." The leather is quite simply going through the gap, it will never be for decades to haunt you at the entrance and call from different rooms among the night. Explain everything logically. If your partner depends on you financially, it is important to disassemble this way.

People are not for the family: there are no parting, there is only a passion

People with a urethral vector are not created for family relationships. They are born for completely other purposes and to drag them into marriage very hard, but it is better not necessary. To greater extent, it concerns men, but also the urethral women are not inclined to live all their lives with one man. You can marry yourself, but marriage in the anal meaning of this word, do not wait.

People with a urethral vector live with passion all their lives. All of what they like, they are in 100%. Therefore, meeting a person who falls in love, they do it just as 100%. And give a maximum in such respects. The urethral may have a relationship with several partners, carrying the same responsibility for all. Relationships can be quite long, it is not necessary to confuse urethral polygamy with skin sexual users.

Survive a gap with a urethral person is usually simple and not easy at the same time. On the one hand, these are very bright people who can not be loved. But on the other - they are not created for the family, and their partner feels it, turning to be in constant stress. Nevertheless, parting with such people is much easier than with others. They are not offended, but often they continue to wait for years. Sometimes they come back, but only one night.

Parting: Lost pain or new horizons?

Of course, the reasons for separation are very simplified in this article. First, the presence of upper vectors changes the picture, and often among the lower vectors modern people There are several. It is important to understand the condition of your vectors and status of the vectors of your partner.